All language subtitles for That.70s.Show.S07E23.1080p.BluRay.x264-YELLOWBiRD

It's funny, Eric.

I thought I told you to
clean out the Vista Cruiser,

but what I must have said was,
"Go sit on your ass."

No, I was there, Red. You definitely
said, "Go clean out the Cruiser,"

but he just
insists on being defiant.

Look, I'm sorry, Dad, but
something really important came up.

I Dream of Jeannie did her blinking thing,
and now Dr. Bellows thinks he's a monkey.

No, Dr. Bellows is a monkey
that thinks he's a doctor,

that's what's funny.

He's sitting at the desk
and stuff, but he's a monkey.

You're a monkey.

You're a monkey.

Eric, I need that car to go
pick up Charlie at the airport.

You're bringing
another guy here?

We need another guy here like I need
another firecracker in my bathing suit.

Well, until you learn
to stop wearing Speedos,

you're gonna keep
getting firecrackers.

Charlie's this
annoyingly nice kid.

His dad and my dad were
drinking buddies in the Navy.

We weren't drinking buddies. We
were finely honed killing buddies.

Yeah, well, I never liked him.

At the last Navy picnic, we
got teamed up for the egg toss,

and he dropped our egg, on purpose,
just so these little sick kids could win.

Those little twerps went home
with my goldfish in a bag.

My goldfish.

Yeah, well, Charlie's only gonna be
here a few days on business for his dad,

and the last thing he needs is
to be exposed to you deviants.

Whoa, Dad, we are not deviants.

Jeannie's bending over!

Let's go.

You guys, I gotta talk to Steven
about something really serious.

- Maybe she's pregnant.
- Maybe she cheated on him.

Maybe she cheated on him
and she's pregnant.

Oh!

Steven, this TV producer called to
tell me he loved my public access show.

And then he offered me a job at his
station in Chicago starting next week.

Whoa. You're gonna take a job
and move to Chicago?

No, no, not yet. Well, I wanted
to talk to you about it first.

Oh!

This is serious serious,
not funny serious.

We should probably leave.

But we won't.

Steven,
this is my dream come true,

but you are the most important
thing in the world to me.

So I'm willing to give it all
up and stay here with you.

But if I do that, I need to
know we're gonna get married.

Jackie, we just agreed
not to talk about our future.

But our future is
happening right now.

Look, the station needs an answer
by noon on Sunday, and I do, too.

Well, I don't know
what to say right now.

I know this is
a sensitive moment,

but may I offer
a word of advice?

Run!

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all all right

♪ We're all all right ♪

Hello, Wisconsin!

Eric, you remember Charlie.

Well, I remember a
perfectly tossed egg from me,

an unconvincing
"whoops" from him,

and the sound of laughter

as some children ran away
with my goldfish in a bag.

Eric, you put
some kind of spin on that egg,

it was uncatchable
like a curveball.

Ha. Your whole
story's unraveling, man.

I can't throw a curveball.

Dad, tell him.

I'm gonna have to side
with my son on this one.

He can't even
throw a straight ball.

Charlie, I made you
a pancake smiley face

with sausage arms and a
little scrambled egg cardigan.

Where's my whimsical breakfast?

Oh, well, since you decided to go
teach in Africa without consulting me,

all you get is
a plain pancake breakfast

with nothing smiling at you.
Nothing.

- Morning.
- Hey, I smell bacon.

Hey, boys, have you met Charlie?

- Oh, hey. I'm Kelso.
- Hi.

I'm gonna eat your breakfast.

And I'm Fez, and just so you
know, I'm the coolest guy in this gang.

All right, I gotta go to work.

Charlie, if Eric and his
friends start to bother you,

just hold up a book.
It's like kryptonite to them.

Oh, hey, Donna.

Are you still mad
about this whole Africa thing?

Yep, but instead of pouting at
my house and being miserable,

I decided to come here
and make you miserable.

That's the spirit, Donna.

Here, eat his bacon.

You made me bacon?

Yep, I just kept it
over here in America.

Mmm. Bacon.

Wow, who's she?

Don't even think about it. Donna
is with Eric and then she's mine.

And then she is mine.

And then, right back to me
for another go-round.

Hey, Hyde, I heard about
Jackie. What are you gonna do?

Well, I spent all morning kicking it back
with my stash to see what came to me.

But all that came to me
was a great idea for a movie

that now I just can't remember.

Is that what that smell was?
Aren't you afraid you'll get arrested?

I'm a cop.

You guys are crazy.

The closest I ever came
to breaking the law

was when me and my
friend, Toby, cut out of school

five minutes
before the last bell.

My heart was beating so fast.

'Cause you were naked?

No.

I don't get it.

You know what, Hyde?

Your problem is you didn't handle
Jackie's ultimatum like a man.

Like, if Donna tries that with me,
I'm just gonna say, "Hey, guess what?

"You don't get to tell me
what to do with my life."

And then, depending on
how much steam I have left,

I may even call her toots.

Hey, Eric.

You know how guys always ask me out,
but I say no because I have a boyfriend?

It's true, she won't budge.

Well, since you're going to
Africa, I figured, you know,

I should be moving
on with my life, too.

And there's this guy
named Kevin where I work,

and he asked me out tonight.
I said yes.

What? You're gonna...
Oh.

I think I see
what's going on here.

Looks like somebody's
caught the ultimatum bug.

Okay, I'll play along.

You're gonna go out
with this Kevin guy or what?

Or nothing.
This isn't an ultimatum.

Okay, I'm prepared
for an ultimatum.

I need to figure out what I'm gonna
wear. Maybe that really short pink skirt.

Oh, that's over at my place.

- You have her skirt?
- Don't judge me, new guy.

It feels so good not to be
the monkey in the middle.

Dance, monkey, dance.

I can't believe Donna's going
out with this guy from work.

You know, I made a point
of going down there

and spreading a rumor
that she had crabs.

Don't talk to me, Forman.

This whole thing with Jackie
is all your fault.

How?

Because I wouldn't have even
been in the basement last night

when Jackie came over, if we had
gone to go play pinball like I wanted.

But you wouldn't go.

So now I gotta
figure out my entire life

because you claimed the
change guy touched you weird.

He put the quarters
right into my pocket.

I'm tired of
messing with Charlie.

He's not even reaching
for the ball anymore.

Well, you know, if you want, we
can hang out at my dad's warehouse.

That sounds great.

- Really?
- No, shut up.

All right, well, I have to get
down there and unlock the door.

We're getting a shipment today.

- Shipment of what?
- Beer. My dad owns a beer warehouse.

- Your dad owns
a beer warehouse?
- Mmm-hmm.

You can touch the ball now.

You had to see Eric's face
when I told him about my date,

he was all
nervous and surprised.

It reminded me of his sex face.

Donna, I don't wanna hear about
Eric's sex face. I'm upset enough.

You wanna know what the best
part is? I don't even have a date.

I made the whole thing up
just to mess with Eric's head.

I wish I had manipulated Steven
instead of opening up my heart.

Now I'm the vulnerable one
waiting for his answer.

Yeah, I was a little surprised.

I mean, the bitchy stuff
is your bread and butter.

You know, I had fake pregnancy right
up my sleeve and I didn't even use it.

Whoa.

Holy crap. That's the
most beer I've ever seen.

Let me just hit the lights.

Let me rephrase that. That's
the most beer I've ever seen.

It's the mother lode.

It's like now I know
how the immigrants felt

when they finally saw the
majestic skyline of New York City.

Actually, Eric, most of the
immigrants arrived in the 19th century

before
the skyline was ever built.

I mean, beer!

I... I...

I don't know where to start.

You know, the kegs are cold.
Why don't we start with the kegs?

Hey, we'll handle this, new guy.

We'll start with the kegs.

There's nothing like drinking
beer straight from the tap.

This must be why
babies love breast-feeding.

Reminds me of an ancient
Chinese proverb. It goes,

something, something,
something, crazy girlfriend,

something, something,
drink lots of beer.

Hyde, I don't think we're gonna
find the answer to our problems

in a keg of beer.

Unless they're at the bottom,
so drink up.

I've been in this warehouse a
hundred times, and I never did this.

Now I know why
my grandmother's an alcoholic.

This is great.

I'm gonna need a bigger mouth.

Girls, please tell me
that Charlie is here.

Wait, isn't he at
your house with the guys?

No.
Oh, sweet Lord, they got him.

You know, Donna, you should be out there
trying to keep Eric from going to Africa

instead of sitting
here on your patootie.

Well, I'm doing everything
I can. I even lied to him

and told him I was out
on a date with another guy.

Sweetie, that's amateur hour.

God gave you a very full chest, I
suggest you start using it on my son.

I cannot believe Eric went out. He's
supposed to be at home agonizing.

Well, maybe they went out to buy
flowers for when Steven proposes.

No, they would
have just sent Fez.

They're out having fun, and that
is exactly what we're gonna do.

Okay, here's what I don't get.

Why would Sally sell seashells
down by the seashore?

I mean, that's a terrible
location for a seashell stand.

Yeah, I mean,
if she wanted to make money,

she would sell
seashells by the subway.

You know what she should sell
by the seashore?

Shoeshines, 'cause
your sandals get so sandy.

Sandy sandals.

We should start a girl band
called Sandy Sandals.

What's wrong?

Well, sand reminds me of dirt,
and dirt reminds me of Steven.

Jackie, I'm sure Hyde
will do the right thing.

You know, I thought if I
really put myself out there,

he'd see how much I love him
and say yes right away.

And then when he didn't,
I thought,

okay, well, maybe he'll take a
couple hours and then say yes.

But now I think he's only taking
so long 'cause he's gonna say no.

Donna, what if he says no?

Jackie, if Hyde says no,

then you and I get a van, and
the Sandy Sandals tour America.

And in a nutshell,
that's what it's like

to be on the debate team
at a Catholic high school.

Yeah,
I love Catholic schoolgirls.

They don't teach sex ed, so
they don't know what not to do.

Yeah, maybe, but I never really
got together with any of them.

Wait, you never...

Wait,
wait, wait, everyone, wait.

Before you start in on him,
let me just say,

when I was a virgin,

all I wanted was for one
person to say it was okay.

And no one did.

Neither will I. Freak!

Okay, I finally made up
my mind about Jackie.

I'm gonna marry her.
I'm gonna be Mrs. Jackie Hyde.

I think you need one more beer.

Could be.

Virgin.

Man, how do you not have sex

with all those girls that are
always throwing themselves at you?

That doesn't happen
to everyone, jackass.

How dare she give me an ultimatum?
This is my life she's messing with.

She can go to hell.
I will see her in hell.

Maybe one more.

One more couldn't hurt.

Eric, I wonder what
Donna's doing on her date.

Oh, you know what, man?
I don't care.

She just wants me to come running
after her, and I'm not gonna do that.

You know what? That is
totally the right move, man.

Plus, it's, like, after 9:00,
so if you go over there now,

you'll probably walk in on her and
that guy sliding all over each other.

And if I know Donna,
she's moaning like a ghost.

Okay, Donna does
not moan like a ghost.

I could make her
moan like a ghost.

You know what, guys?

I'm a little confused,

but I do know
that I love you guys.

I really, really do.

Hey, where'd Kelso go?

Well, hello, toots.

Back from your
date so soon, huh?

Used to be you have
to buy a girl dinner,

if you wanted her to slide all
over you moaning like a ghost.

Okay, you know what? I didn't
have a date, but I should've.

- Wait, so you lied?
- Yeah, I was pissed.

I mean, all of a sudden,
you're leaving me.

Well, look, I'm only
gonna be gone for a year.

I don't care.
I don't want you to go.

I mean, you've always been, like,
20 steps away from me my entire life.

What am I supposed
to do without you?

Look, Donna, this is gonna be
really tough for both of us.

But, hey, you know what?

The good news is,
when I come back,

we're gonna spend all
this time together because,

you know, you're probably gonna
have to nurse me back to health

from some
horrible African disease.

Look, you know I love you.

- And we're wasting
our time fighting.
- I know. You're right.

We should just enjoy
the time we have left.

Yeah, I'm all for that.

Well, it's not what I
had in mind, but okay.

Wait, Eric, you're back.

Where's Steven?

Uh...

Okay, he's passed out in
the back of a beer warehouse.

You mean, he's not coming.

He's gonna say no. Oh, my God.

Oh, Jackie, I'm sorry.

What?

I'm too drunk anyway.

All right,
you two, where's Charlie?

Look, Dad, not so loud, okay?
We had a really rough night.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Where's Charlie?

Who's Charlie?

Last time I saw him,
he was on a stack of kegs

claiming Mount
Schlitz for the US.

Oh, crap, and he was a good kid.

Now who am I
gonna spend time with?

I don't know. Me.

Don't be a smart ass.

Well, it's almost noon.

Guess I gotta go talk to Jackie.

What are you gonna tell her?

I don't know, man.

I'm thinking about letting the El
Camino make the final decision.

If it pulls to the left, marriage,
pulls to the right, nudie bar.

So you haven't decided?

No, I've decided.

Steven?

Jackie stopped by and
asked me to give you this note.

Oh.

It says she took the job in
Chicago and she left this morning.

Oh, you poor baby.

You know what?
I am gonna turn my back

and let you go into the
kitchen and have a beer.

That better be Charlie.

Mr. Forman,
is this your daughter?

I don't know who did this to
him, but they sure are clever.

They put you in a dress, huh?

Welcome to Point Place.

Listen,
Charlie, about last night,

I know you're thinking
you're getting picked on a lot.

Hey, I know you guys
are just having some fun.

Let me finish.

Around here, I'm the
whipping boy, not you, me.

- Okay.
- Let me finish.

I do the drinking and I put on
the dresses. You got it, hotshot?

- Got it.
- Would you let me finish?

I'm finished.