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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,940 --> 00:00:05,980 Hey, guys? I'm thinking about getting a perm. 2 00:00:08,180 --> 00:00:10,460 Hyde, can I get the number of your guy? 3 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:14,420 I don't have a "guy," dumb-ass. 4 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:17,740 This righteous moss is a gift from God. 5 00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:21,220 God gave me a perm, too, but he hit me below the belt. 6 00:00:26,420 --> 00:00:28,300 What are you doing, Forman? 7 00:00:28,340 --> 00:00:30,740 My stupid Cousin Penny from Florida is coming this weekend... 8 00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:32,980 so my mom's making me clean the basement. 9 00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:43,140 And I'm done. 10 00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:46,780 - Penny? - God, she was always such a tattletale. 11 00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,100 "Eric's stealing cookies." "Eric's playing with fire." 12 00:00:49,140 --> 00:00:51,660 "Eric's touching himself." 13 00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:56,580 Yeah, but Eric got her back. 14 00:00:56,660 --> 00:00:59,860 He hit her with the old Ben Gay on the toothbrush... 15 00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:02,300 and the over-the-shoulder wedgie... 16 00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:04,780 and the butt-face gas attack. 17 00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:07,460 - Butt-face gas attack? - I'll show you later. 18 00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:09,620 Thank you. 19 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:14,540 My favorite was when you trapped her in the revolving door at the library and kept spinning her. 20 00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:17,780 Yeah, she ralphed... 21 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:20,500 and then she had to keep walking through the puddle. 22 00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:24,620 'Cause it's a revolving door. 23 00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:27,660 It spins in circles. 24 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:30,060 That's its nature. It just... 25 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,680 - Penny! - Aunt Kitty! 26 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:14,920 - It's so good to see you! - Oh, my gosh, you have grown so... 27 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,840 Things have... 28 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:19,200 Good for you! 29 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,560 And good for us. 30 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,400 Oh, geez. 31 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,280 Penny. 32 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:33,360 You're so... shiny. 33 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,520 I am just so excited you're here. 34 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,640 I have lots of free time these days, so I've gathered up some local foliage. 35 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:47,160 And I thought we could have a long talk while we make our own potpourri! 36 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:54,000 Well, thanks, Aunt Kitty, but right now I'd just like to catch up with Eric. 37 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,600 Find out how he got so foxy. 38 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:02,200 Okay, you boys be nice. But not too nice. 39 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,520 Penny, I know your last trip here I was kind of a jerk, and... 40 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,440 Oh, God, Eric! That was so long ago. 41 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:14,720 Plus, I can't stay mad at you. You're too cute. 42 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:23,640 - Hey, guys, what's up? - Oh, hey, you remember my Cousin Penny? 43 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,280 Hey, Penny. I didn't recognize you without Eric's butt in your face. 44 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:36,080 So, you guys ready for the movies? You can come too. 45 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,200 I guess. 46 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,080 Thanks, but this Wisconsin air is so dry... 47 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,800 I really should go inside and moisturize before I lose my tan. 48 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,960 I have lotion. 49 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:56,080 I think the best plan is for all of us to go to the movies... 50 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,640 except for me and Penny, who will stay here and moisturize each other. 51 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,920 What? Screw that, I'm gonna moisturize too. 52 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:09,080 - Michael! - I'll just do, like, a leg or something. 53 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,880 Fine! 54 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,040 Come on. Let me show you to your room. 55 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,040 - Michael! - I'm gettin' Kool-Aid! 56 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,040 Damn! 57 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,520 What losers! Did you see them checking her out? 58 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,200 - Okay, she's not that hot. - I never liked her. 59 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:31,840 You know, once when we were little she bit me, so I bit her back. 60 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,960 And then she said, "Truce," so I said, "Okay." 61 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,320 And then she bit me again. 62 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,320 Whore. 63 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,600 Slut. 64 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:45,920 - No, her. - Oh, yeah. 65 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,840 Whore. 66 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,080 Yeah, we'll show Penny with our new sunlamp tans. 67 00:04:55,840 --> 00:05:00,720 How dare she come into our town and try to "out-hot" us. 68 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,960 I know. I mean, we don't go to her town and try and "out-whore" her. 69 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,800 Well, she can't just show up all hot, shaking her butt around our guys. 70 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:15,640 If our guys are gonna fantasize about moisturizing anybody, it should be us. 71 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:21,080 Right. But we're not gonna let them do that, are we? 72 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,800 Let's just hope it doesn't come to that. 73 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,200 Have you seen that little stray cat that's been hanging around our house? 74 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,880 Oh, yeah, I met him this morning. 75 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,440 Then he met the hose. 76 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,200 Kitty, we don't need more things hanging around our house. 77 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,640 We already have Steven and Kelso... 78 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,200 and "foreign kid." 79 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,400 Yeah, but they're always busy. 80 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:58,360 Maybe I should get my own cat. I'm not working. I'm home all day. 81 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,320 Here's my problem with cats. 82 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:08,320 Best-case scenario: You get the smartest cat in the world. He still craps in your house. 83 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,240 Well, it's just, it would be nice to have something to take care of. 84 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,680 I'll tell you what, Kitty. 85 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,360 Instead of getting a cat, why don't we all just stop flushing? 86 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,680 It's the same thing! 87 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,760 Guys, I'm getting some weirdness from Cousin Penny. 88 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:40,280 Earlier, she gave me a hug, but this wasn't a cousin hug. 89 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,840 Our middles touched. 90 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:48,840 And not just for a second. She pressed. 91 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:55,520 I've heard of "kissing cousins." But have you ever heard of "doin' it cousins"? 92 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,840 'Cause that's what I think Forman should be shooting for here. 93 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:03,760 Kelso, I appreciate the advice, but your solution to every problem is "do it with her." 94 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:08,480 Well, it worked with my old science teacher. 95 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,480 C-minus! 96 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,400 Well, unfortunately, Penny is my cousin. 97 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:22,440 That'd be like looking at my mom and thinking, "Hey, baby, how"... I'm just gonna stop right there. 98 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:30,120 I've thought that about your mom, but I didn't stop right there. 99 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,720 Surprise! 100 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,440 This oughta keep you company during the week. 101 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:47,440 Roy's Pet Store? Red, you got me a cat! 102 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,880 Well, it's like a cat. 103 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,600 A fish? 104 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,600 Red, it's a fish. 105 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,400 See? It's like a cat. 106 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:07,280 - They're both pets. - No, they're not. 107 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,480 Pets are called "pets" because you pet them. 108 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,680 How do I pet this thing? 109 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:18,040 Well, you just reach in and corner it and give it a rub. 110 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:25,400 That's the thing about fish: They just love the feel of the human hand. 111 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,560 Jackie! Jackie, wake up. 112 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,360 Oh, my God. Donna, you're totally burned. 113 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160 Really? 114 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,960 What have you done to me? 115 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,960 Me? This was your stupid idea. 116 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,480 Did you call me "stupid"? 117 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,600 - Ow! - Ow! 118 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,800 - Lobster face! - Ow! 119 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,320 Little Red Riding Bitch! 120 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,400 Oh, my God! 121 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:20,960 Okay! Now, okay, let's just call a truce. 122 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,280 Fine. 123 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,200 - Ow! - Ow! 124 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,120 Ow! 125 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,480 Don't look at me. Mrs. Paul killed these. 126 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,720 Here. 127 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,840 So... 128 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,880 must get pretty boring living in a fishbowl, huh? 129 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,160 Gets pretty boring around here too. 130 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,880 You know, I used to work at a hospital, and taking care of people... 131 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:55,280 It felt so good to be needed. 132 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,640 You know, like... like part of a team? 133 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:02,400 You know, people really depended on me, which I kind of miss. 134 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,240 Oh, at least I don't... I don't miss the bedpans. 135 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:21,280 Are you sure it's okay for me to do my yoga in here? 136 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:25,280 Do Aunt Kitty and Uncle Red allow girls in your room? 137 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,840 Well, you're my cousin, so you don't even really count as a girl. 138 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:34,000 You're like a rock. 139 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:38,040 A moving, talking, extremely limber rock. 140 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,280 Ooh, that's nice. 141 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,880 - Peterson's Auto Shop. - What? 142 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,360 Peterson's Auto Shop. That's what my T-shirt says. 143 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,880 I noticed you were trying to read it. 144 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,400 That's... Yes. Yes, I was. 145 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:09,080 I, uh... I kinda have, like, a passion for T-shirt logos. 146 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,360 Okay, well, bedtime for this logo fan, okay? 147 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,880 Off you go. 148 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,440 Uh-oh. 149 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,640 Naughty thoughts a-brewin'. 150 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,880 Penny, you're cold. 151 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,840 Go get a sweatshirt. 152 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,040 Oh. Okay, Uncle Red. 153 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:11,400 Eric, do I have to tell you to stop staring at your cousin? 154 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,080 Stop staring at your cousin. 155 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,360 Kitty, where's breakfast? 156 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:22,520 Honey, I'm-I'm running a little late. 157 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,840 I was, um, redecorating Fluffy's bowl. 158 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,280 Kitty, it's a stupid fish. 159 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:33,080 What? 160 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,240 Cinnamon toast, get on it! 161 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,800 Oh, so, decided against the sweatshirt. 162 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:49,240 It's a bold choice. 163 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:53,520 I saw Uncle Red leaving, and I wanted to talk to you alone. 164 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:56,720 See, I kind of have a crush on you. 165 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,960 Okay, Penny, okay. 166 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,560 Look, I don't know what the laws are down in... 167 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,480 Florida. 168 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:13,400 But up here, the cousin-lovin' is really frowned upon. 169 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,960 That's why I wanted to talk to you. 170 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:21,120 Last week, I overheard my parents talking, and I found out that I'm adopted. 171 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,440 So, technically, we're not even related. 172 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,840 Well, that's a twist. 173 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,720 And all those feelings that I had about you that would've been wrong? 174 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,480 Are pretty freakin' right! 175 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,120 Bring it in. 176 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,240 Now you're warm... 177 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,440 and I don't feel bad about that. 178 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,800 So Penny's not even your cousin? 179 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,640 All right. Well, in light of recent developments, I vote "do it." 180 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,680 Do it, yellow belly! 181 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,120 Look, man, if you don't do it... 182 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,360 I'm gonna do it. 183 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,520 Then I'm gonna make fun of you. 184 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,240 All right, fellas. I guess it's all systems go. 185 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,480 Just... Hey, let's keep this between us, okay? 186 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,720 Hey, what's up? 187 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,000 - Forman wants to nail his cousin. - No. 188 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,200 No, no, no, she's not my cousin. She was adopted. 189 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,880 And what the hell happened to your face? 190 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:37,360 - What the hell happened to yours? - Burn! 191 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,080 Yeah, I gotta admit, Donna, that was a nice burn. 192 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,240 And I don't mean what you said just there. I mean your face. Nice burn. 193 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:48,840 Hey, if you ever need a date for prom, you can just flip through the family album. 194 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,440 Oh, God. 195 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,880 You're just jealous because Penny is incredibly hot... 196 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,360 and you're a throbbing red pile. 197 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:03,120 Eric, my sunburn will fade, but your shame will last forever. 198 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:10,200 Yeah, well, at least my shame won't... peel. 199 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,200 Hey, there's my girl. 200 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,720 New logo. Nice. 201 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,440 I was just having a glass of milk before bed. 202 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,360 Oh, well, you know, you don't have to rush off. 203 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,440 Sit. Come on. Let's gab awhile. 204 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,680 So... 205 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,440 let's get to the bottom of this crush, huh? 206 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,600 You know what I'd really love to do? 207 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,680 Stay up late and watch movies like we did when we were kids. 208 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,280 Remember? All alone in the dark? 209 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,000 That's a good plan. 210 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,680 - And let's wear our jammies! - Excellent addition to the plan. 211 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,800 Oh, but I usually just sleep in a T-shirt and panties. 212 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,760 Is that okay? 213 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:11,120 Well, so do I! 214 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,280 Er, I mean, you know, man-panties... Er... 215 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,320 Underwear. 216 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,600 - You know what I meant. - Great. The movie starts at 11:00. 217 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,200 - Don't be late. - Okay, I won't. 218 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,680 "Man-panties"? 219 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,120 - Kitty? What happened? - Fluffy died. 220 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:44,200 Well, if it's any consolation, fish are never even really alive. 221 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,360 They're just less dead. 222 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,760 I know. 223 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,720 You know, he wasn't good company, but at least he was company. 224 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,720 Red, I'm unhappy. 225 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,920 Oh! I gotta go to the store. 226 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,480 I am a nurturer. 227 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:06,160 I am not gonna be satisfied nurturing something you'd win at a carnival. 228 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,440 Kitty, what do you want? I'll get you anything you want. 229 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,880 Not a cat. 230 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:16,160 - I want to go back to the hospital to work. - Oh. 231 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,800 As long as it's not a cat, I'm good. 232 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:28,200 Okay, I think what you mean is, "I'm glad you're doing what makes you happy." 233 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,680 Oh, of course. 234 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,480 And I'm sorry that your fish died. 235 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:38,040 Don't be. I flushed it. 236 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,560 Good evening, milady. 237 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,200 11:00, on the nose. 238 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,360 Well, we're all alone. 239 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:09,920 I told Hyde to amscray for a while. So go ahead, take off your robe. 240 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,400 Penny, there's no rat... 241 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,000 Don't, Eric! Don't! 242 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,840 - No, I was... - Eric, step away from your cousin. 243 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,240 No, she's not my cousin. She was adopted. 244 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:45,680 - I'm not adopted. - Wh-What? What? She's lying! 245 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,960 Eric, I saw her mother give birth to her. 246 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,000 Now, what is going on? 247 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,400 I'm... sleepwalking? 248 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,560 And I'm about to be "sleepkicking" your ass. 249 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:12,480 Eric, what kind of person would lie about something as serious as being adopted? 250 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:20,040 A liar who specializes in adoption lies: You. A mean, vindictive person. 251 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:23,920 - Like someone who would trap someone in a revolving door? - Yes! Ohh. 252 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,800 Mom, Dad, can... can Penny and I be alone for a minute? 253 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,040 No! 254 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,320 I'm not raising any flipper grandkids. 255 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:50,960 No. Look, I just want to apologize to Penny. 256 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:55,760 Fine. When you're done, you head right upstairs. 257 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,000 I'm having Pastor Dave come over for an emergency house call. 258 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,160 I guess this will teach you to play pranks on innocent little girls. 259 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:10,040 This has taught me a lesson. 260 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:15,000 And that is that I'm not gonna rest until I get you back way worse than you got me! 261 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,720 Which by the way, wasn't really that bad! 262 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,840 Actually, it's pretty bad. 263 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,620 Cousin Penny went back home, huh? 264 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:47,020 Oh, wait, did I say cousin? Yeah, I meant cousin. 265 00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,860 Looks like that's two hot girls you can't have. 266 00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:52,980 Well, thank you for such a conservative estimate. 267 00:20:53,020 --> 00:20:56,220 - By the way, Donna, here's your copy of the pictures. - Oh! 268 00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,740 If you flip through 'em real fast, it looks like Eric's running. 269 00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:00,740 Gimme those. 21106

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