All language subtitles for Here We Go s02e06 Mums New Tattoo.eng

- Doesn't she look amazing?
- You look fabulous!

- Are you scared of spiders?
- No!

ALL: Cheers! ROBIN:
- Up your bum.

- Great. - You all right, Mum?
- Mm-hm.

Oh, OK, you're just
touching my hair, yeah?

Just relax.

Just let me know when
you're going to...

- Argh!
- Oh, my God!

- Stop squirming, Mum.
- Yeah, I am trying, Sam.

I need something to
bite down on, Amy.

- I already gave you one of my bread sticks.
- Yeah, and I ate it.

I need a proper
stick from a tree.

Yeah, well, I haven't got
a box of those, weirdly.

OK. I... OK.

Let's go. Let's go.

BUZZING

- Oh, God, no, I feel...
- You must stop moving.

- Otherwise, we will run out of time.
- Yeah.

I'm sorry, Katya, but
please don't rush me.

I nearly passed out last time.

Really?

OK, sorry.

Let's do it.

OK.

- OK. It's cool.
- Yeah?

OK, let's do it.

Oh, God!

- Right. - I can't. - Help me hold her down. Sam.
- I've got the camera.

- I can't do it.
- Well, put it down.

Oh, God! God!

RACHEL WHIMPERS

You have to. You can't leave
your tattoo looking like that.

I can't do it.

Come on, Mum.

We're going to be late
for Dad's police thing.

BUZZING, RACHEL SCREECHES

What HAVE you done?

Oh, no!

What?! I love it.

Oh, please tell me
you can rub it off.

But I don't want to rub it off.

- Amy...
- You do know it's not even in English!

Um, yes, of course I do.

It's Elvish, right, Amy?

No, it's... it's
"Maya" in Sanskrit.

It means magic.

- Well...
- Amy,

all tattoos mean the same thing.

What? What's that, then?

Impressionable.

I think it's dope.

Dope? Dope!

- Really?
- Yeah. Why not?

I don't mind a tat, if it's romantic
and you're not covered in the things

like a bloody... drummer.

Oh, that's romantic, is it?

Scratching someone's name on
your body so everyone knows

- who you belong to?
- All right,

- I won't expect you to get one for me.
- But that's...

- We're not the tattoo generation.
- Mm-hm.

And I'm the type of
person who hates needles.

That's every type
of person, Mum.

Yeah, but I medically hate them.

The school caretaker had
to pin me to the floor

when I had my BCG.

OK, well, I hope he was fired.

He was. He was fired.

SUE: - Anyone want five
Hobnobs before I go?

Are we doing this test or not?

- Yes.
- Because I could be practising my marching right now.

Yes, I'll have five
Hobnobs, thanks, Mum!

Yes, Amy, can you take your
tattoo elsewhere, please?

Sam and I are actually revising.

Sam's filming.

- Well...
- Yeah, filming my revision, so it counts.

OK, right. When was the first
official diagnosis of autism?

Yeah, I won't need that.

- As in, you don't know it?
- As in, ask me practical stuff.

Uh-uhhh! 1943.

Not "uh-uhhh"! I just
didn't give an answer.

Uh-uhhh!

What are the main
symptoms of ADHD?

Attention deficit hypera...

Yes, I know what it means.

- God, you're annoying.
- All right!

Difficulty concentrating,

inability to sit still,

- acting without thought.
- I mean, that's basically me.

- Sh, Sam.
- What else is there?

- Yeah, interrupting conversations.
- That's another one.

- Oh, my God. You see?
- Yeah, that would explain

why you're quite so
bad at sitting still.

Yeah, it would, actually.

Well, of course Sam
can concentrate.

- He's always making bloody films.
- No, but that's...

That's another symptom.
That's hyperfocus.

Look. Yep.

"People with ADHD may experience an
intense fixation on one activity"

"for an extended
period of time."

We should get you assessed.

Oh, he's fine!

He's just lazy and distractible.
That's a symptom of being

a living man.

DOORBELL

he'll get extra time on his
exams and a free laptop.

- Yeah, you should probably be tested.
- Yeah, yeah.

What kind of laptop is it?

Well, I'm pleased you're
focused on the right things.

Doorbell!

Yeah, I know,
Rachel, I'll get it.

Oh, Robin! Cheryl!

- Hi!
- Hi, Sue!

- You all right?
- Yes,

well, the THREE of us are
very all right, thank you.

THEY GIGGLE

Would you like a Hobnob?

Mm, all three of us would
not like a Hobnob, thanks.

- I would, actually.
- Sorry, one of us would, but the other two would not,

- as in there are three in total.
- You OK, Robin?

Yes, the THREE of us are
more than OK, thanks.

What?

- I think...
- We are...

- SAM: I think Cherry's pregnant.
- Sam! - You've ruined it!

- RACHEL AND SUE SQUEAL.
- Oh, my God, why would you...?! I'm sorry. - He's ruined it! - I'm sorry.

- That wasn't on you, Sam.
- Oh, my God! Oh, Cherry! Cherry! Cherry!

I've got a photo.

I didn't know you had it in you.

Do you know what? Cherry
didn't know she had it in her

- till about three weeks ago.
- Oh! Paul! Amy!

- Yeah.
- Cherry's having a baby! EXCITED CHATTER.

With Robin!

We've done it!

- Oh, my God!
- He's cracked it.

- Yeah!
- Oh, my God!

Oh, look at that!

- Awww! Look!
- Yeah.

You can't see a lot, but it's
definitely got a hot face.

Oh, hundy P. I
mean, that profile.

Phwoar!

Well, don't "phwoar"
your own baby.

Well, I'm sorry, but
come to me with that pout

and you are getting phwoared.

I don't care whose baby you are.

- Let me see.
- Wow. Do you know what you're having?

No, they can't tell yet cos
it's only about the size

of a Coco Pop.

I'm actually hoping for a girl.

- He's so modern.
- Do you know,

I thought your sperms,
Robin, were a dog's dinner.

Oh, Mum, please!

No, it's all right, it's
all right - they are a bit.

But I guess one of the weird
little goons must have managed

to ram his ugly mug
into Cherry's egg.

"Let me in!"

- Don't mime - it's embarrassing.
- Sorry.

- So hang on, it's a shotgun wedding!
- Yeah!

Like ours!

I should get a shotgun
for the best man's speech.

Oh, my God! Rachel,
that would be hilaire!

CHERRY: - Well, no.

PAUL: - What do you
mean, like ours?

Well, I was pregnant with Amy.

- That's why WE got married.
- No, it's not!

We were allowed to have
children out of wedlock, Rachel.

It was Bedford in
the early noughties,

not rural Ireland in the 1400s.

- Yeah, but our... our dad's quite traditional, so...
- Yeah.

Wow.

And there was me thinking that we
got married because you love me.

- I did.
- Did?!

Do. Do. Still do, did.

- What? - Did.
- Oh, my God, Mum, stop. - Oh, God.

- Just forget it.
- Wow.

- I got that tattoo. Look, Robin.
- Oh, sweet!

That is world classy.

- So you knew about this, did you?
- Yeah, of course.

I sent her to Katya, who did
all of my cherries. Look.

- Oh.
- Nice, isn't it?

Oh, that's like ringworm.

Yeah, it... What?

Yeah, well...

- It does a bit, yeah.
- ..I'm off to choir practice.

Aww, well done again, you two.

- Thanks, Sue.
- Cheers, yeah.

Oh, can't wait to have a
cuddle with the wee one.

Oh, when it's out and about,

I will be dumping it here a lot.

Yeah, well, I won't be
around then, though.

What?

Oh, no, Sue, don't be like that.

You've got a good year or two
left in you yet, I reckon.

No, I mean, I will
have moved out.

- Oh. - Yeah.
- I've made an offer on a flat.

- Oh, great!
- Oh, congrats! That's exciting.

- No? - Yeah.
- No?

Um, right, your Hobnobs are
on the corner there, Paul.

Yeah, thanks, Mum.
I'm eating them now.

Yeah. Bye.

Bye, Sue. Also,
FYI, I should say

we've had to shunt the
date of the wedding.

Oh, have you?

- Yeah, a little bit.
- Yeah. It's now on this Saturday

because that's the only day

that worked for 50
Shades Of Mellow.

- Oh? What's that?
- The wedding band we wanted.

We've gone big
budge on the cake,

the band and the video,

and then everything else
will be like, not...

- Shit. - NOT shit. - No.
- But, well, cheap.

Cheaper. Yeah.

And 50 Shades are
sensationnelle.

- Yeah.
- Sensational. They can do everything, can't they?

- Beyonce. - Beyonce.
- Coldplay, Buble...

Hang on, Saturday the 15th?
That's my passing out parade.

- Oh...
- Ed Sheeran,

Chumbawamba, Kravitz.

Travis.

No, I'm saying it's...
it's like the police.

The Police? Yeah, they
can do them, no problem.

Or Sting on his own. Fields
Of Gold - yes, please.

It's like a graduation,
but they say passing out.

Tinie Tempah! Yeah, no problem.

They used to do Michael Jackson,
but they don't do him any more.

- Yeah.
- That's at midday.

The wedding's not until four,
so you'll have bags of time.

Oh, OK! Yeah. I mean, I
might not pass out at all,

if they can't find
a uniform in time.

Oh, yeah? What's the problem?

Your "Humpty Dumpty, big
waist, short legs" thing?

Uh, can you stop comparing me
to Humpty Dumpty, please, Amy?!

- Rude!
- That IS rude, yeah.

And actually, this
is about the helmet.

All of their helmets
are too small.

- What, all of them?
- Yeah, all of them.

I have an unusually big head.

Like Humpty Dumpty.

Well, he's ALL head,
really, isn't he?

- Yeah.
- Well, he's an egg, yeah.

I mean, apparently Greater
Manchester Police have got a very,

very big one they can send down.
That's if they can find it.

- OK.
- How big IS your head, then?

I mean, you're looking at it.

- Come on, then, let's measure it.
- No!

- No! - You're not measuring his head!
- You're not measuring my bloody head!

- Here they come!
- Where is he?

Oh, my God, I can see
him! I can see him!

Look at him!

Oh, my God.

Look at that hat!

It's sort of wedged on.

He can't even march properly!

He looks like a Thunderbird!

CHUCKLES: Stop laughing,
it's not funny!

You're laughing, too!

I'm not, I'm...

Granny's here.

Hurry up, you're missing

whatever this is.

THEY CHUCKLE

Sorry, I got held up at choir.

You're a bit
overdressed for this.

Yeah, well, I thought I'd get me
wedding togs on now, you know,

save going back later.

- Here he comes!
- Oh, God.

Oh, doesn't Paul look all
sexy in that uniform?!

No.

Well, he would maybe if
he didn't look so pained.

Or knew how to march.

AMY CHUCKLES

Oh, it's so lovely
to see you all.

- Oh, Amy.
- Aww.

I've missed you.

Oh, we saw you last
weekend, Granny.

I know, but I feel so
cut off in that flat,

you know, with
no-one to chat to.

- Aww.
- I keep finding myself talking

to the woman in the lift.

- What?
- Why is there a woman in the lift?

As in, the one that tells
you what floor you're on.

The computer. Oh, Sue, you shouldn't
be talking to the computer.

Well, I'm not mad. I only
say please and thank you.

And she's got such a
lovely, cheery manner.

You know, "Doors opening!"

Stand at ease!

Welcome, cadets,
family and friends

to Bedford Constabulary
Training Centre.

Today marks the end of
these cadets' training,

and so we move to the
beginning of their careers.

GROANING

Over the course of their
training, they have made me proud.

- What's he...?
- What's that?

Er, I think it's Dad.

- ..and upholding our shared values.
- Is he OK?

THUDDING

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, Paul!

- Dad!
- Paul!

- Oh, God!
- Dad, are you OK? - Paul!

My son! My son's fallen over!

FLATULENCE

PAUL: - It's just
that stupid helmet.

That was the issue.

I marched well, I thought.

It was just too tight.

You know, it was
constricting blood flow,

and that's why I fainted.

I don't think people noticed.

No, they probably just
thought it was part

- of the passing out ceremony.
- Oh, ha-ha. Very funny.

Let me tell you something,
there is nothing funny

- about a tight helmet, Amy, OK?
- SAM SCOFFS.

Maybe you should make your own.

You know, out of papier-mache?

Oh, good idea, Mum.

Yeah. That will strike
fear into the heart

of the criminal
community, wouldn't it,

being chased down by a policeman
with a home-made helmet!

All right?

How you doing, pal?
You pass out OK?

Oh, yeah. More than OK.

- He fainted.
- Oh, thank you, Rachel.

I realised I embarrassed you.

There's no need to rub it in.

So, what...? What happens now?

Do you have to, like, do it
again? Like Rachel's exam?

SAM: - What? What do you mean?

No, I did still graduate.

I just had to, you
know, lie down.

- Right.
- But I missed the bit where they throw

their hat in the air at the end.

Yeah, if they did
that at the beginning,

this would never have happened.

Well, yeah.

So, how are you
feeling? You ready?

I feel like I'm going
to chunder my guts up,

- but apart from that...
- Aw! I felt like that on our wedding day.

- Did you?
- That was just morning sickness.

Which is one of the reasons
you married me, apparently.

My God, can you please
stop being so pathetic?

OK, Rach, they're ready.
So, have you got the rings?

Yes, I've got them on my
necklace so I don't lose them.

OK, she's coming. So, Stanley,
stop picking your nose.

OK, up! Everyone, up! Up!

SUE: - I used to be able to walk
to choir practice from here.

I'll have to drive
from the new flat.

And pay for parking
through an app.

- Mm.
- Oh, God, Amy.

I don't think I can
handle the apps.

Oh, it'll be fine, Granny.

And you can always move back
in here if you don't like it.

- Right, Dad?
- Huh?

Yeah, in theory, I guess.

Is this...?

No, that's one of Maya's.

Oh, well, can we have two
clear piles of bags coming in

and bags coming out, please?

Sue's are pink and leather,
mine are black and binny.

Yeah, sure.

Ooh!

Are you having my
old room, Maya?

Er, well, we want to be
in the same room, really.

So we'll both be in Amy's.

It'll be a bit of a
squeeze, but still...

Yeah, and I'm going to use your
old room as a music studio.

Er, no, no. You're not dumping
your harp in there, Amy.

It's not dumping
it. I'm playing it.

And I want to put my
keyboard in there as well.

Well, tough turds,
princess. You can't.

I'm putting the rowing
machine in there.

- What? - Yeah.
- No, come on. That's not fair.

This is what happens when you keep
calling people Humpty Dumpty, Amy.

They start to exercise.

- Sorry, Sam.
- He won't use it.

Come on, mate.

- I mean, it's hardly Katya's fault!
- Yeah. - Mm.

- Yeah.
- She did exactly what you asked for.

Also, English isn't
her first language,

- so what did you expect?
- What's...? - I like it.

- Do you? - Well, no.
- No.

I like the story behind it
more than the actual it.

- What's happened?
- So Rach got a tattoo for Paolo.

Oh, my God, really? What is it?

- Show him. Go on.
- Yeah, well...

You know how I hate needles?

Well, I know how everyone does.

- Yeah, but mainly me.
- OK.

So I wanted to get a small Paul
on my shoulder blade to just...

- Shut him up.
- No, to be romantic.

- Yeah.
- Well, both.

And then, when I got there
and saw the actual kit,

I sort of panicked a bit,

so I thought it might just be
better to get his initials.

- You know, like, PJ.
- Paul Jessop.

Cos it's, you know,
half the letters.

- And then I thought... And the tattoo woman was...
- Katya.

Really getting
impatient at this point.

I thought I might
just get the P first

to see if I could
handle that. So...

- Yeah.
- ..she...

I asked for a P on my
shoulder, and she...

Well... Oh, God, she did this.

LAUGHTER

- I'll have a P, please, Bob.
- Yeah. Oh, that's very good.

- Love it.
- He's done that already, yeah.

Just go back to Katya,
tell her to fix it.

- Get, you know, the stalk put on.
- The stalk?

- You mean, get the rest of the pea plant on?
- No.

- What? No, I mean, get the rest of the P letter.
- Oh.

- It is very confusing.
- It is. - Not really.

I mean, I don't want to get
any more tattooing, Robin.

I nearly passed out last time.

But you can't leave
it like that, Rach!

It looks like you're
growing mould.

- Does it? - Yeah!
- Oh, don't put me next to Stanley!

What? Why? Stan..?

No, that's lovely. All the
kids are together, so...

- And he's, what? He's your... He's your...
- Cousin.

Cousin, so be nice.

- He's obsessed with lions, though.
- It's so boring.

Oh, well. Oh, Robin...

What?

You know he won't come.

He might.

He said he might.

And it's much harder for me
to film if I'm at the back.

We don't need you to film, Sam.

Lights, Camera, Love are doing
that already. That's taken care of.

Also, Cherry doesn't
really want someone

- with ADHD to film things.
- Oh, Robin!

No offence. She worries it might
all look a bit fast and furious.

Nothing wrong with that.
That's a cracking franchise.

- PHONE RINGS.
- Well, that... Oh, hello. Hello.

- Sorry.
- Bet it's her.

It is her. It is her.

Love of my life,
fire of my loins.

Er...

Yeah, we're just trying
the cakes now, babe.

Yeah. Well, we are
going crizzle cray

for the amaretto
cream, put it that way.

It just means we're going crazy.

Er...

Well, no, I told Jelson he
could be the MC there, babe.

Yeah, he's a drum and bass
man from back in the day.

Yeah, he's proper. Yeah.

So you've got ADHD, Sam?

- Yeah, looks like it.
- Yeah.

My uncle had, well, not
exactly the same, but PTSD.

Yeah, it's not remotely
the same, Dean.

Yeah, well, he's fine now.

So you can take comfort
from that, innit?

- Er...
- Yeah, well, you know, I'm giving Sam

some revision counselling,
so it's all in hand.

Counselling?

You mean nagging?

Motivation.

And please do make an effort
to film the posters, Sam,

since we put them up everywhere.

So Robin told me
about your idea.

- Absolutely love it.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah? Thanks, Dean.

- Which idea?
- The shotgun for your best man speech.

Genius.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
That was just...

I was just joking.

I wouldn't actually get one.

I wouldn't know how.

Oh, that's where I come in.

Oh, no, no. Don't...

Yeah, no, don't get
a shotgun, Dean.

Cherry would really
hate that, I suspect.

- I'm not promising anything.
- No, you don't have to.

- Just don't do it.
- Yeah, probably can't anyway.

No, don't. Just don't.

Can you film the
posters, please?

- Yeah?
- Where there's a will.

- Well, there isn't a will, Dean.
- Well, exactly.

ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS

Sam, out the way.

No, no, go away.

Sam.

- You're amazing.
- Yeah, I know.

- Please be seated.
- Ahem!

Not us.

- We are gathered here today...
- Robin.

To witness the
union of this man...

- Robin.
- ..and this woman...

- Cherry.
- ..In holy matrimony.

Cherry Danielle,

- you are my rock...
- Yeah.

- ..and my roll...
- Yeah.

- ..my lover and my teacher...
- Yes.

My sugar and spice
and all things nice,

my Peri-peri and my mayo.

I do solemnly declare that I
will respect you and cherish you,

guard you,

- wash you if you want me to...
- No.

Massage you, text you regularly,

never interrupt you,

be there, stay there,

live, laugh, love with you for
as long as we both shall live,

forever and ever, amen.

No!

Sorry.

Robin Liam, you complete me.

I promise to be there for you,

to have your back,

to go deep,

to lift you up and
keep you grounded,

for now and for always,

for all three of us.

- Oh!
- Aw!

- We're having a baby!
- Yeah.

Sit down, Sam.

- If I could now ask for the rings?
- I've got them here.

Sorry. Sorry.

Well, don't step on it!

Sorry.

It's this clasp here.

- Ah!
- Ooh, you all right?

- Sorry. - You OK?
- Shoulder's quite sore.

- Just put them in a box or something.
- Are you sure you don't...? - Oh!

- It's OK. OK. Well done.
- Got them. There you are.

With this...

With this ring, I thee wed.

With this ring, I thee wed.

Hmm.

I now pronounce
you man and wife.

Yes!

You may kiss the bride.

Ha-ha-ha!

Oi, move!

Cheers, Paul.

Penny, Boyd. Drink?

Hello, Paul.

- Did you get that email I...?
- Yeah.

Love a wedding!

- Oh, Amy! - Huh?
- Your dress hasn't been ironed, look!

Well, yeah, because
you moved out, Granny.

Looks like you've been
doing origami with it.

I mean, we have in a way.

I mean, we've hardly got any
hanging space now there's two of us.

Everything's folded up in
IKEA bags under the bed.

I've got wardrobes.

I've got wardrobes coming
out of my absolute walls.

Give your clothes to me,

and I'll hang them
up in my flat.

And then what? I come over every
morning in my dressing gown

to find something to wear?

- If you like. - Sam.
- Good system.

Sam! What were the causes
of the Vietnam War?

- Oh, now? - Yeah.
- Really? - Mm.

Don't you have to prepare
a speech or something?

Well, yeah, I've
got a minute or two.

Is it true, by the
way, what Robin said?

About you not passing your exam?

I, er, do have to
retake it, yeah.

It's cos you spend so
much time helping me!

Of course I'm going
to prioritise you.

I'm your mum.

- That's a deal.
- OK. Well, thanks.

So, come on, Vietnam
War, let's go.

Er, communism?

- Yes.
- Er, tunnels.

Mm-hm.

Trees.

Not trees.

INDISTINCT SPEECH

There's actually only about
400 lions living in there,

so there's no king
of the jungle.

- Doesn't really make sense.
- Right.

- I'll tell you another fact about lions.
- Cool.

Lions can climb trees, though,

even though they mainly
live on grassland.

And as they're not as
agile as other big cats...

I'm going to go to the loo.

Are you worried people
won't think it's real?

- Cos it's real.
- That's not the point.

Why have you...? I
don't understand...

- You asked... You asked me to get it.
- No, I really, really didn't!

- But it's a shotgun wedding!
- Yeah, no, I get it, Dean!

I get the joke! It's my joke!

You don't need to
explain it to me!

There are kids out there!

Oh, it'd be hilarious, Rachel.
And I've got the gun now.

I had to go to
Rutland to pick it up.

I don't know where that is.

- I do think we should use it.
- No, we should not use it!

- Come on!
- If there's ever an option to not use a gun,

that's always
going to be better.

I couldn't agree less.

The speeches are starting,
Dean. I'm going back in.

You're nuts. Nuts.

ROBIN SIGHS

Oh, come on, Robin.

And ever since that day, the
gearbox on the white Suzuki

has run as smoothly
as our relationship.

Oh, my giddy, giddy gosh!

- Let me hear you make some noise!
- Woo!

When I say renegade,
you say hardware!

- Renegade!
- SINGLE VOICE: Hardware!

Oh, my God.

Reload!

Hold on tight now.
Lock up your sons.

It's the R to the A

to the Rachel Jessop.

- SAM: - Yes, Mum!
- The best man!

Bap! Bap! Bam!

Oh, thank you, Jelson.

Thank you.

Er...

So, first of all, I have to say,

the bridesmaids look
absolutely lovely.

APPLAUSE

Our thoughts are with
those who can't be here,

especially our dad,
Michael, who couldn't come

from France because he sadly

didn't want to.

But let's not get into that.

This is... What a wonderful day!

- Yes! - Thank you! Yeah, it is!
- Yeah.

You know, the first
time Robin and Cherry

were going to get
married, I remember...

- Back in, oh, 2020.
- Yeah, it was.

- I remember that I was...
- Covid.

- No. No, no, no, no. Oh, gosh.
- Go on, point it at him!

- No, no, no, no.
- Oh, my God!

Because Cherry's pregnant!

- Yeah. No, no, that...
- So it's a shotgun wedding!

Yeah, no, we get it.
We all get it, Dean.

- Stop pointing it at people.
- Well...

- Put the gun down, mate.
- Some people might not have got it!

SUE: - Oh, shotgun wedding!

Oh, that's funny, that!

- Yeah, you see, it's actually quite a subtle...
- Dean, be careful!

GUNSHOT

- Rach! - You all right?
- Mum!

LAUGHTER

What, don't! Amy,
he'll go mental!

No, I've got to film
this! It's so cute!

Look at him!

- What are the key themes in Macbeth?
- Er...

- Witchcraft.
- Yeah.

- Scotland.
- Scotland's not a theme. It's a place.

- Er, ambition.
- Ambition! To the bird feeder!

This is how Mum's finally
getting Sam to do any revision.

What is photosynthesis?

Er...

Plants. It's how plants eat.

- They eat and process...
- Oi!

That's my camera!
Don't touch my camera!

Amy, come on, stop it.

- Just put it down!
- Yeah.

So much for 50 Shades Of Mellow.

They are absolutely livid.

So, what?

- They just won't play?
- No.

I mean, their instruments
are covered in cake.

- Mm.
- And...?

So's my face!

Bwap, bwap, bwap!

Those of you who
managed to get cake,

remember to check for shrapnel.

NERVOUS LAUGHTER

I'm sorry, Rob.

Oh, that's all right,
Deano. It's not your fault.

What?!

- It is his fault!
- Yeah.

And it's not OK cos we
haven't got a band any more!

- I thought it'd be funny!
- What?

- And not loaded...
- Well, luckily, Paul stopped anyone

from getting hurt.

I'm so proud of you, Paul.

Well, I just saw that there
was a potentially live firearm,

- so I just had to step in...
- Yes, all right!

- ..neutralise the weapon.
- You don't need to talk us through it again.

You're welcome.

I could plug in my iPhone,
babe, crank out some tunes?

Plug it into what?

- The music table thing is completely spattered.
- Is it?

- MUFFLED: - The mixing desk, Rob.
- The what?

- LESS MUFFLED: - Mixing desk.
- No. And again.

- The mixing desk.
- Mixing desk.

SUE: - I could sing!

- Really?
- And Amy could accompany me.

- Ah! - Er...
- OK.

I mean, I could try.

- Oh!
- Yes, Amy!

- It's all coming together!
- Is it?

Yes. Is it?

Yeah.

I mean, just to say, Sue, sorry.

The first dance
was going to be Wap

by Megan Thee
Stallion and Cardi B.

But obviously... I mean, do
what you can if you don't...

- Sorry, Robin. I don't know that one.
- I didn't think you would.

- It's OK.
- Yeah.

- She doesn't know it, babe!
- Right.

- Sorry.
- Oh, now, we should get you a chair, Maya.

Look, you're too
squished on that stool.

No, it's fine, Sue.
We're used to it.

- This is home from home.
- Yeah.

What?

What was that
little cheeky smile?

What's this?

My flat.

Well, your flat.

You should have it.

Have it?

- What are you talking about?
- What, have your flat?

Well, no, live in it.

It'd still be mine.

Are you being serious?
She can't be serious?

Paul said I could move back in.

Oh!

? Why are we waiting? ?

Shut up, Dean!

Sorry, just give me a sec.

Have you got a flat
for me as well, Granny?

One, two, three, four...

Oh! Yes, Amy!

That's lovely!

? You're nobody till
somebody loves you... ?

Yes, Sue!

Wow!

I actually know this one!

? You're nobody till
somebody cares... ?

Come on, everyone! Come on!

- ? You may be king... ?
- In you come!

? You may have the
world and it's gold... ?

Go on, Sue!

It's an absolute
deathtrap, this cake.

It's so bloody creamy.

Oh, my God!

- Is it ever!
- Mm.

Come on.

- Dance with me.
- What?

- Dance with me!
- OK.

LAUGHTER

- Ah! Ow!
- Huh?

Huh?! It's not shrapnel, is it?

No, of course it's not shrapnel.

Actually, I've got
something to show you.

- So, I wanted to get a tattoo...
- What?

- Really?
- ..of your name, yeah.

- You didn't!
- Well, hang on.

For various reasons,

including an exceptionally
obtuse tattoo artist,

that didn't work out.

So I got this instead.

Undo the zip.

Rach!

It's meant to be me and you.

As in

because we're peas in a pod.

NERVOUS LAUGHTER

That's...

- I love peas.
- I know you do.

I'm really glad I married you.

You do know that, don't you?

It wasn't because
I was pregnant.

Well, I mean, it was a bit, but

it was because I wanted to.

I still want to.

? As sure as the stars... ?

- Yeah! Woo!
- ? Shine above... ?

Sam!

We're getting a game of
It going, if you want in?

Er, It? I'm 16.

Is that a yes or a no?

- Yeah, all right. Go on, then.
- It!

? So find yourself somebody

? Find yourself somebody

? Find yourself
somebody to love. ?

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