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1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,640
- Look how good that is.
- Yeah!
2
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,360
- OK, who wants an arm wrestle?
- I'm playing the winner!
3
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,000
- Aah!
- Whoa!
4
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,440
OK, Dad, I'm filming.
5
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:16,896
SHOUTS: Are you filming, Sam?
6
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,976
Yeah, you're shouting again!
7
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,936
Yeah, it's this flipping ear,
it's blocked! It's blocked still!
8
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,256
Yeah.
9
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,256
Can you hurry up, please?
10
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,497
DRUMMING - Robin!
11
00:00:27,521 --> 00:00:29,616
- What?
- Ooh, no, hang on, I can hear - I can hear that.
12
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,376
- You can hear that?
- Yeah.
13
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,696
Agh, just get on with it, Dad.
14
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,576
- Honestly!
- Ha, ha, ha!
15
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,776
OK, ahoy there, shipmates!
16
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,576
It's Captain Long John
Paul Jessop here aboard...
17
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:41,597
ROBIN LAUGHS
18
00:00:41,621 --> 00:00:42,616
- Now, then!
- Go on.
19
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,456
- ..my old boat. - Oi.
- From when I was a boy!
20
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,816
Yes, and today we're taking it upon
the seven seas for the first time
21
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,376
since, er, I want to say,
um... When was Babylon Zoo?
22
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,216
It doesn't matter, can
you hurry up, please?
23
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,976
I need to get home to set up
for the party, for the students.
24
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,456
All right, I'm just waiting
for you lot to embark.
25
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,056
- To what?
- Embark.
26
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,616
What - what's embark again?
27
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,256
Come aboard, get
on the boat, Mum.
28
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,696
Well, turn it on
first, see if it works.
29
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,056
- Turn it on? - Yeah.
- It's not a Hoover.
30
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,856
- Start her up, I think you mean.
- OK.
31
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,656
And you can't wear heels on an
inflatable vessel I'm afraid, Cherry,
32
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,256
- that's just asking for trouble.
- In case it pops. - Oh, my God.
33
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,976
I am absolutely pumped about
this, to be fair to me.
34
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,656
Start again, Paul.
35
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,096
OK, Amy? This is
really fun, isn't it?
36
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,576
No, it isn't, I
don't want to go on.
37
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,296
I feel like... not James Bond,
38
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,896
but, you know, people who...
people who go on boats.
39
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,736
Oh, Paul, give it some welly!
40
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,656
Yeah, I'm giving it
- this is welly, Mum!
41
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,216
- This is what welly looks like.
- Shall I ask one of the men to help?
42
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,136
What do you mean? I'm a
man! I'm one of the men!
43
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,296
- No. - Yeah, but, like, one of the proper boat guys?
- Yeah.
44
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:44,616
I'm a proper boat guy!
I'm a sailor man, mate.
45
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,616
And it's not me - my
technique's spot on,
46
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,136
it's just this, this pull
cord's really, really stiff.
47
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,736
Come on, girl.
48
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,296
Or I could have
a go if you like?
49
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,456
THEY GASP
50
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,736
Oh, my God, Robin!
51
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,496
Man over board!
52
00:01:58,520 --> 00:01:59,937
Robin!
53
00:01:59,961 --> 00:02:01,376
PANICKED SHOUTING
54
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,120
Oh, it's not that
deep, actually. I'm OK.
55
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,737
PAUL GROANS - What's going on?
56
00:02:06,761 --> 00:02:07,976
Dad's hogging the toilet.
57
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,576
Er, I'm not hogging
the toilet, Amy,
58
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,456
I'm trying to clean
this flipping earwax out
59
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:12,536
I think it's compacted.
60
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,216
Well, yeah, of course it is, you
keep prodding it with cotton buds,
61
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,696
what did you think
it was going to do?
62
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,416
I just thought that if
I probed the left ear
63
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,736
- then the wax would eventually...
- Come out the right one?
64
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,816
Oh, yeah, ha, ha, mate. Ha, ha.
65
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,256
Can you not film me while I'm
in the bathroom please, Sam?
66
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,496
Why? Because of the nightie?
67
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:32,056
No, because the bathroom is meant
to be a sanctuary, a safe space,
68
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,056
not part of your
documentary, thank you.
69
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,656
Why are you wearing
a nightie, in fact?
70
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,296
It's not a nightie,
it's a long T-shirt.
71
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,656
What's going on? I need the loo.
72
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:39,696
Well, go on, then.
73
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,096
No, I mean... properly.
74
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,456
- ALL: Urgh. - Gross!
- Great, Mum, thanks for telling us that.
75
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,496
Well, he made me - can you
hurry up, please, Paul?
76
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,296
Yeah, I'm just getting
my earwax out, babe.
77
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,856
Oh, God, not this again.
Why are you so waxy?
78
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,936
I am not "so" waxy, I just happen
to have a high functioning gland
79
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,896
and a narrow ear canal.
80
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,656
It's a bad design, frankly.
81
00:02:58,680 --> 00:02:59,976
What? The ear?
82
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,536
- Yes, the ear.
- Ugh.
83
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,176
I need to unclog, pronto.
84
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,496
If I can't hear properly
85
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,576
then the police won't let
me on the training course
86
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,936
and my medical's in four weeks.
87
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,976
Yeah, well, I've got my
lecture in 25 minutes,
88
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,736
- and you're dropping me off!
- Yeah.
89
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,496
Hello? Morning all!
90
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,416
- Morning, Mum.
- Oh, hi.
91
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,496
Why has she got keys?
92
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,336
Did you get her keys?
93
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,200
I've brought crossed buns!
94
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,896
Have you got your own keys, Mum?
95
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,136
Why have you got your own keys?
96
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,536
I got some cut.
97
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,176
Um, sorry what do you
mean crossed buns?
98
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,376
Do you mean hot crossed buns?
99
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,016
No, these are cold.
100
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,136
Oh...
101
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,856
Now, then, Sammy, I thought you
were stopping doing your videos
102
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,016
to concentrate on your GCSEs.
103
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:44,776
Oh, yeah, no, I am. I will,
Granny, you know, soon.
104
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,936
How did you cut
your own key, Sue?
105
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,496
Did you take a set from the
house without us knowing?
106
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:53,456
Oh, don't put it like that, Rachel,
that makes it sound really sneaky.
107
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,376
Well, it is really sneaky!
108
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,696
- Oh! - Huh?
- Oh, Paul!
109
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,256
Oh, put some undies
on for goodness' sake.
110
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,456
Oh, Mum! For God...! Oh!
111
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,216
- Oh, no!
- But I've seen it all before.
112
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,096
- Yeah, not recently, you haven't.
- God.
113
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,696
- Well, you've not changed much, really.
- Well, that's not true.
114
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,136
That's not true.
115
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,936
And - and the law has changed,
that's actually up skirting.
116
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:19,016
As per the voyeurism of fences
act of 2019 it is a major crime.
117
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,576
Oh, here we go, spot the copper.
118
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,616
Well...
119
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,256
Well, it's your fault
for wearing a nightie.
120
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:27,776
- Yeah, exactly.
- It's not a nightie, it's a long T-shirt!
121
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,216
That is a nightie,
that's what a nightie is.
122
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:33,016
Find some pyjamas if you need
to wear something in bed.
123
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,976
I'm not wearing pyjamas
like some kind of
124
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,296
banana.
125
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,136
Well, you need to
cover your banana
126
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,016
if you're going to
stand on the staircase.
127
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,336
- Oh, my God. - Knock, knock!
- Robin. - Morning all.
128
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,856
- Aww. - All right? - Hey.
- All right, Spielberg?
129
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,296
Hey, Susan, come on,
give us a squeeze.
130
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:53,416
Hiya, Robin. Now, then, can I
tempt you with a crossed bun?
131
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:54,896
Urgh, yuck, don't like 'em.
132
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,176
Just a cup of tea would
be ideal, thank you.
133
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,896
- We're not staying for long.
- No.
134
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,536
Just need to use the
printer, if poss,
135
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,256
- print out Cherry's divorce papers.
- Yeah.
136
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,696
Oh, OK. Well, quickly, then.
137
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,616
Divorce? I thought you
divorced Ian yonks ago, Cheryl.
138
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,896
- Mm.
- Well, I have been trying to, so,
139
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,616
but he keeps refusing to
sign the divorce papers
140
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,776
- because he still loves me so much. Selfish git.
- Oh, dear.
141
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,016
Oh, he'll sign.
I'll make him sign.
142
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,896
I'm going to talk to the
guy next week, mano a mano.
143
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,616
Yeah, and I'm going
to come, an' all.
144
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,776
Yeah... Well, no, hang on, if you're
there it's not mano a mano is it?
145
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,536
Then it's mano a mano a womano.
146
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,056
Er, "mano" means
hand in Italian.
147
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,256
- Oh...
- So... Er, just email me the document I'll get it...
148
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,576
- I like the old, er... What do you call them?
- Yeah, well...
149
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:38,597
Hairy horns?
150
00:05:38,621 --> 00:05:39,616
MIMICS CLOWN HORN
151
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,016
- Space buns. - Yeah.
- They were quite trendy last year. - Right.
152
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,096
And this year, no?
153
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,656
She's trying to blend in with
the other freshers on her course.
154
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,456
- Mm. - What? Are you still called a fresher, Rachel, at your age?
- Yeah.
155
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,176
- I love that.
- Oh, ha, ha, thank you, thank you for that, Sue, yeah.
156
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,896
You know, ideologically, we're
all pretty much the same, so...
157
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,856
Er, you're the weirdo
older student, Mum,
158
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,736
you're not going to
become friends with them
159
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,536
- just because you put your hair in a bun.
- It's two buns. And I might.
160
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,896
- Right. - You won't. - Hello.
- You all right? - Yeah, good, you?
161
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,016
- Right, well I'm going to get the buns out!
- Ooh, er, missus.
162
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,776
Amy, I haven't seen
you since you got back.
163
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,656
- Farvel.
- What?
164
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,696
- Farvel. - Is it farvel?
- Robin said it was farvel.
165
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,016
- Is it not?
- What's this farvel?
166
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,136
It's hello in Danish, no?
167
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,376
- Yeah.
- I was in Norway.
168
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,776
- You... Oh, sorry, yes, Norge.
- Yeah. - Mm.
169
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,336
Same sort of thing, innit? A
lot of white people on bikes.
170
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,336
- Um...
- Happy to be home, are ya?
171
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,616
Nope, unhappy to be home.
172
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,016
- Aww.
- I want to go back as soon as possible.
173
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,816
Oh, come on, Amy,
that's not true.
174
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:36,256
Yeah - and in the meantime she's been
trying to turn the place into Oslo,
175
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:39,256
hence all the scatter cushions
and trolls everywhere, urgh.
176
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:42,336
Um, I'm trying to make the
place more hygge, yeah.
177
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,256
- Oh, here we go.
- What? More what?
178
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,576
- Hygge.
- It's Norwegian for cosy.
179
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,016
- Um, it's way more nuanced than that.
- Mm-hm.
180
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,536
She'll be putting an oil
rig in the garden next.
181
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,776
- Yeah - and charging us £40 for a beer.
- Yeah!
182
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,376
Oh, ha, ha, funny.
183
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,856
I mean, what's Norway got that you
can't find here, for goodness' sake?
184
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,656
My friend Kare took me out
on his boat on the fjords.
185
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,656
- So?
- OK, but come on, there's loads of great things here, Amy...
186
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,616
- Yeah!
- ..In the UK, you know there's, there's...
187
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,176
- Er...
- Um...
188
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,456
- Norwich Castle's reopening.
- Yeah.
189
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,696
New series of I'm A Celeb!
190
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,296
And I - I've sold my house.
191
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,536
Er, Carabao Cup Final.
192
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,776
- Er, Maya will be back from university soon, so...
- Yeah.
193
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,176
You sold your house? I thought
it was only under offer?
194
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,056
Exchanged contracts on Thursday.
195
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,336
- Hey! - Oh!
- That's good, innit?
196
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,536
Why is that something for
Amy to look forward to?
197
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,456
Well, you can all come and
help yourself to my gubbins.
198
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,136
Gubbins, what do
you mean, gubbins?
199
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,976
- Well, I've got to clear everything out.
- Really?
200
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,056
Oh, you'll love it, Amy, a
lot of it is very higgledy.
201
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:41,456
- Hygge. - Uh-huh, yeah.
- Like what?
202
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,816
I've got doilies coming
out of my drawers.
203
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,656
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
204
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,776
You meant... Sorry, I
thought you meant knickers.
205
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,376
- Robin.
- You've got doilies. You've got doilies, Sue. I'm sorry.
206
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,896
I've got doilies,
cushions, more gnomes.
207
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,296
Oh, no, not gnomes, the
gnomes you can chuck.
208
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,456
One of them looks exactly
like Paul, actually!
209
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,896
- Oh does it?
- No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't.
210
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,616
So, where are you
moving to, then, Granny?
211
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,456
I want to buy a flat but I
can't find anywhere I like
212
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,576
so I think I'll just have to rent
somewhere for the time being.
213
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,096
You should move in here, Granny.
214
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,296
Ha, ha! Well, no, no.
215
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,016
No, that would be
impractical, I fear,
216
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,016
it takes us a month
to use the bathroom,
217
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,296
er, in the morning as it
is, do you know what I mean?
218
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,176
Yeah, well I-I don't
want to get in the way.
219
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,936
Um, tea for you, Rachel?
220
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,056
Er, no, I'm all right,
thanks, Sue, I've got to go
221
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,536
um, as do you all,
actually, no offence.
222
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,256
- We've all got to go, sorry.
- OK, um...
223
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,576
There's your divorce papers.
224
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,816
Thanks. Have you got a
takeaway cup for the tea?
225
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,296
- No, because this isn't Starbucks.
- OK, hang on, then.
226
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,496
- He's downing it.
- Mate, don't...
227
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,336
No, don't down it, you bell.
228
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,896
"Farvel" means
goodbye, by the way.
229
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,336
- Ah, OK.
- Oh, God.
230
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,680
- - Well, farvel!
- It's boiling hot. - Argh!
231
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,240
- We can try again tomorrow, so...
- Mm, well, maybe, yeah.
232
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,056
Why are you going this way?
233
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,696
Oh, I need to go
to the chandler's.
234
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,176
- The what?
- He means the boat shop. - No.
235
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,816
- Yeah, I need to get a new pull cord...
- No.
236
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,536
- ..and we need some engine oil, so...
- No, I need - I need to get home.
237
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,816
Oh, and we should get some
olive oil for your ear, Paul.
238
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,816
Well, they won't sell
that at the chandler's.
239
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,616
Olive oil? What are
you talking about?
240
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,576
If you pour olive oil in your
ear it'll get rid of the wax.
241
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,856
Yeah, great idea, Mum!
242
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,576
Maybe if I squirt some
mayonnaise up my bum
243
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,256
- it'll sort out my constipation.
- Urgh. - Ugh, Dad.
244
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,456
Well, putting less of it in
your mouth might help, yes.
245
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,056
And - and we've got
olive oil at home.
246
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,176
Yes, but we don't
have engine oil,
247
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,016
so we do need to go
to the chandler's.
248
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,856
- Also I need to buy a buoy.
- What? What do you mean?
249
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,616
- Like a... a cabin boy?
- No! What?!
250
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,256
No, it's like a
bouncy, floaty thing
251
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,937
- that protects the boat.
- PHONE VIBRATES
252
00:09:38,963 --> 00:09:40,696
I'm not trying to buy
a male child, Mum.
253
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:44,216
It's inflatable, the whole
boat is basically a buoy,
254
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,696
we do not need to
go to the boat shop.
255
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,296
- Oh, for God's sake...
- Chandler's.
256
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,736
- Aww...
- What is it? Another one of the students drop out?
257
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,696
No, it-it's this party, they just
keep leaving the WhatsApp group,
258
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,856
they don't even say they
can't come, they just leave.
259
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,416
I mean, should I add them again?
They might've left by mistake.
260
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,576
- No.
- Definitely not, that's really lame.
261
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,456
I'm going to write
good riddance.
262
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,536
No, don't do anything,
263
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,016
you'll just scare off the
stragglers still on there.
264
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,056
INDICATOR TICKS
265
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,496
No, no, I said - we're, we're
not going to the boat shop, Paul.
266
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,816
- It's the chandler's! - No! No!
- I need a new pull cord... - No!
267
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,776
- ..and it's the chandler's.
- We've got to go home!
268
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,736
- Rachel, please! Please!
- Why are you doing this?
269
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:17,816
- Oh, my God.
- Why? Why now?!
270
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,240
- I'm just going to get a pull cord and a little buoy.
- God!
271
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:24,896
Oh, my God!
272
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,576
The likeness is uncanny.
273
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,256
No, it isn't, it
just has a beard.
274
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,816
It looks exactly like you, Dad!
275
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,736
Why are you laughing,
Mum? You married him.
276
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,256
Yeah, no, fair point.
277
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,360
- Huh? - Hey, hold that, Paul.
- What?
278
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,736
Oh, no, stop it, stop it!
279
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,896
Right, give me that, I'm
taking it to the skip.
280
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,336
Oh, no, don't, I
want to keep that.
281
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,936
Agh, ngh...
282
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,096
Oh, gosh, are you OK?
283
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,656
No, my ear's blocked again.
284
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,936
Agh, am I clicking,
am I clicking guys?
285
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,576
Oh, wicked, is that a Super 8?
286
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,976
Oh, no, it's a camera, that's
your grandad's old CineOne.
287
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,976
- Can I have it?
- Give me that, Paul, I'll take that.
288
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,216
Granny, can I have the camera?
289
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,736
Anything you like the look of?
290
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,456
- Yeah, of course.
- For your room?
291
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,816
Nope.
292
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,496
We could, er,
redecorate, if you like?
293
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,456
Oh, what, you think a
Toby jug and a horse brass
294
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,176
is going to make me not
want to go back to Norway?
295
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,696
No, that's not what
I'm saying, Amy,
296
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,016
I'm just asking you to be a
bit more positive, if you can,
297
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,096
about being back - you know,
I know Norway was great
298
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,536
and it'll take time
to adjust, but...
299
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,456
Oh, there's a foot
spa, that might help!
300
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,576
- I'm having the foot spa!
- No, I was going to give it to... Oh, my God!
301
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,896
Look who I found!
302
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,216
- Oi-oi. - Oh, no!
- Oh, my God, Robin, you've got a black eye!
303
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,736
- Yeah. I have, I know I have, yeah.
- Oh! - Yeah.
304
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,976
Yeah, Ian did it in
their mano a mano.
305
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,576
- Oh, no.
- Oh, Robin!
306
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,456
Well, I hope you
smacked him back!
307
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,496
Oh, grow up! "Smacked him back!"
308
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:40,896
Yeah, did you smack him back?
309
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,096
I didn't, no, I didn't want
to stoop to his level, so...
310
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,256
- Ian's quite stacked.
- Yeah, but that's not why, babe,
311
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,936
I could've hit him, I could've
probably killed him, if I wanted to.
312
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,056
- Really?
- But... yeah. Just a bit, just
313
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,016
job done. But, no,
it's better this way,
314
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,576
with him as the sole aggressor
315
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,456
because, er, now he has
to agree to the divorce
316
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,456
- in exchange for me not pressing charges.
- Oh...
317
00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,456
- Yeah, it's actually worked out well.
- Yeah. - Apart from his minging eye.
318
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,656
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
319
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,056
So, how's this house clearance
thing work then, Sue?
320
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,576
We can just take
anything, can we?
321
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,936
Yeah, pretty much, yeah.
322
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,416
Yeah, not that, though,
that's my handbag.
323
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,816
- Yeah, I didn't want it anyway.
- OK, great.
324
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,696
And if you could help me chuck these
armchairs in the skip that'd be fab.
325
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,296
SHOUTS: Oh, no,
you're not getting rid
326
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,736
of the old armchairs
are you, Mum?!
327
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,496
- You're shouting again, Dad.
- Huh?
328
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,696
Oh, wow, Sue, you've got one of
the old deep pan TVs, love it.
329
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,696
Oh, and tapes, look!
330
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,976
Here, Rach, you should show
these to your students,
331
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,536
- these are well in right now.
- Yeah.
332
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,576
- What? Tapes? Are they?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
333
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,416
I mean, everything goes
in cycles, don't it?
334
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,936
Tapes, crop tops, Sugababes -
it's basically the '90s again.
335
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,136
Um, I'm not sure Simply
Red specifically are back,
336
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,296
- but, yeah, by all means, put it on when they come over.
- Oh, OK.
337
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,336
What's this, what's this? The
students are coming over, is it?
338
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,816
- House party!
- Mm, sort of.
339
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,656
Actually, Dean and Jelson are
aggressively single at the moment...
340
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:55,336
- No. - ..If you want some blokes to just, you know...
- Absolutely not.
341
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,696
- Babe. - ..Get things going, you know?
- No, I don't want that.
342
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,576
It's not really that
sort of evening, anyway,
343
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,976
- we're just going to eat moussaka and chill.
- What?!
344
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,816
- What?
- Moussaka?
345
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,096
Students don't want
to eat moussaka, Rach.
346
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,336
Why not? Is that not a...?
What's wrong with moussaka?
347
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:09,496
Aubergines.
348
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,536
The moussaka thing is a
bit shit, to be fair, Mum.
349
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,776
- Well, OK - and I was going to bake a lemon drizzle.
- Oh, my God, no.
350
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,696
Rach, Rach, it sounds -
no offence - lemon jizzle.
351
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,616
You need to do a drinking
game or something,
352
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,856
- you know, to break the ice a bit.
- Mm?
353
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,056
- What's this rubber thing in here?
- Oh, that's the old boat.
354
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,256
- What?
- That wants skipping, as well, Paul.
355
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:28,616
Hey, what the...?
356
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,416
We're not chucking out
the boat! The boat?!
357
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,736
Er, boat? What boat?
358
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,016
You've got a boat?
359
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,696
- Yeah, I've got a boat. Big time. My old boat.
- OK.
360
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,016
Me and Daddy used to have
some great times in that baby.
361
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,696
- CHERRY: - Daddy?
- Doing what? Fishing?
362
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,176
Huh? No, no, pootling.
363
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,176
Yeah, razzing around the marina.
364
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,336
Yeah, it's a serious
bit of kit that, Sam.
365
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,936
It's a blow up dinghy, innit?
366
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:51,456
Er, no, it is a rigid
inflatable boat, thank you.
367
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:52,496
She is not a dinghy.
368
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,616
There's an engine round
here somewhere, should be.
369
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,096
Oh, we should - we
should take it out.
370
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,816
Well, hang on a sec
because we've got to...
371
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,216
Yeah, Amy might
like it, you know,
372
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,016
it might stop her going
on about the fjords.
373
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,416
Oh, I doubt it's still
seaworthy, Rachel.
374
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,696
Oh, she's still
seaworthy, all right!
375
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,056
- It's not even bin worthy, it's covered in mould!
- It's stinky.
376
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,296
Oh, that'll scrape off a
treat, don't worry about that!
377
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,576
- You're shouting again, Dad!
- Huh?
378
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,856
- Oh... - Stinky boat.
- Huh?
379
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,896
Have you got the new
pull cord working?
380
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,256
Huh?
381
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:20,816
OK, forget it.
382
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,216
What was that, Sam?
383
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:26,096
Right, come on, Paul!
Let's do your ear.
384
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,256
I can't hear you, Mum!
385
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:29,696
OK, I'm off out.
386
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,136
What? But my - my student
friends are coming over.
387
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,096
Yeah, I know, that's
why I'm going.
388
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,216
No, but I need you here
to, come on, you know...
389
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,800
Make you seem less old?
390
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,216
I mean, pretty much.
391
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,696
And - and I thought you
might enjoy it, as well,
392
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:45,976
meeting people your own age.
393
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,896
Who'll want to know why
I'm still living at home
394
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,536
and doing nothing with my life.
Yeah, I wouldn't enjoy that, Mum.
395
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,136
Well, I mean, where
are you even going?
396
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,856
They're screening a Norwegian film
at the Everyman in Birmingham.
397
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,536
Oh, my God, you have to stop being
so obsessed with Norway, please,
398
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,296
this is not healthy.
399
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,336
Says the person about to
drink a litre of vodka.
400
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,096
I mean, that's just to
break the ice, ignore that.
401
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,176
What's the film?
402
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,776
Um, it's a documentary
about children
403
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,456
suffering from seasonal affective
disorder in northern Norway.
404
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,336
Great, well, that'll
cheer you up.
405
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,776
Hang on, Birmingham?
You're going to Birmingham?
406
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,416
Yeah, so I need to leave now.
407
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,056
Well, oh...
408
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,136
How does that feel, Paul?
409
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,736
Huh?
410
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,616
Is it going in?
411
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,976
I can't hear you, Mum,
there's oil in my ear!
412
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,040
Ugh.
413
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,776
Er, are you two planning
to be here all evening?
414
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,856
Huh?
415
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,536
I mean it's honestly like an
old people's home in here.
416
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,736
Well, do your party
in the lounge, then!
417
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:37,776
Well, no, I would,
418
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,136
but there's a four horsepower
boat engine in there!
419
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,976
- Paul!
- Yes?!
420
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,576
Er, a cup of tea please, babe!
421
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,896
No, I didn't...
422
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,216
Why have you got a
funnel in your ear?
423
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,656
Huh?
424
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,536
Oh, Mum was using it
to pour olive oil in,
425
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,056
but it actually helps
me hear a bit better.
426
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,096
Oh, my God.
427
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,776
Oh, like an ear trumpet?
428
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,736
DOORBELL RINGS It's kind
of like an ear trumpet!
429
00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:00,136
- Aww...
- That's what I said.
430
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,536
- Huh?
- Oh, God, I mean, this is great, this is exactly the image of my life
431
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,296
I wanted to present
to my course mates.
432
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,099
- DOORBELL RINGS.
- The phone's ringing, Rach!
433
00:16:07,123 --> 00:16:09,136
No, that's the doorbell!
434
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,096
- Huh? - Doorbell!
- Ah...
435
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,336
OK.
436
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:14,520
Oh, God.
437
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,616
- Hey!
- Hi.
438
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,656
How's it goin'?
439
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,336
- I, er, come in! Thank you.
- Thank you.
440
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,376
Thank you.
441
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,857
NERVOUS LAUGHTER
442
00:16:25,881 --> 00:16:27,360
Um... Yeah.
443
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,216
Is anyone else coming, or...?
444
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,720
Um, I hope so!
445
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,416
No, probably not, sorry.
446
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,816
Er, people can be... people your age,
very cruel on WhatsApp, can't they?
447
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:42,936
- So...
- Hello.
448
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,656
Yeah. No, ignore him, that's...
449
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,600
Please don't film them, Sam,
they're our guests, sorry.
450
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,576
I brought this.
451
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,640
Great.
452
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:55,960
That's so kind.
453
00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,136
Thank you.
454
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,176
Come this way.
455
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:05,296
Yeah, no, I was going to just
put on a tape. Um... Love tapes.
456
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,096
- Yeah...
- Hello, there!
457
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,856
- Do you like tapes?
- Hello?
458
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,496
- Hi!
- Huh?
459
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:11,816
No, er, don't go in that room!
460
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,936
- Oh, er... - No!
- Hi.
461
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,576
I'm Sue.
462
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,016
I'll get me trumpet.
463
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,016
Oh, yes, God, yeah, this
is Sue and this is Paul,
464
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,736
er, these are my course mates...
465
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,016
I realise I actually don't
even know your names.
466
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,576
Oh, er, er, Fara.
467
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:26,976
- And Xiaoming.
- Xiaoming.
468
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,136
Huh?
469
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,656
Lovely to meet you.
470
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,240
Paul Jessop.
471
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,240
Do you live with your parents?
472
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:38,760
Er...
473
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,776
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
474
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,496
It is a bit of a drag,
475
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,816
but it does save a lot of
money, so it's, you know...
476
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,936
I'm a former Olympic archer!
477
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,936
It's... God, yeah.
478
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,456
Right.
479
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,576
My Dad.
480
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,536
You know, maybe we should...
481
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,536
I-I feel like I
want to... leave.
482
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,736
No. No, no, no, no, no!
483
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,776
Don't, don't be silly, no,
it's going to be great,
484
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:04,816
just need to relax a bit
485
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,696
and I actually planned
a drinking game for us.
486
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,896
- Oh, I don't really drink, but...
- No, just a little one,
487
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,816
just an ice breaker, you know,
488
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,176
um, get some atmos going,
loosen you up a bit!
489
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,656
Is that...? Do I need that?
490
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,096
Loosen up all of us.
491
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:20,736
So, it's the same rules as Play
Your Cards Right, so, very simple.
492
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,176
- What's that?
- What's...?
493
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,856
Well, yeah, no, fair point,
494
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,536
you're probably, um,
too young to know that.
495
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,696
Well, it's, um - it was
a Bruce Forsyth show.
496
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,176
Er, who?
497
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,856
Brucie.
498
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,016
Brucie, come on.
499
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,720
I mean, you must've
seen Brucie growing up.
500
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,176
I grew up in Chengdu.
501
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,080
Even so, he was... he was
this guy, he used to do this.
502
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:48,560
Why?
503
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:54,096
I don't... I have no idea,
he just did that - that...
504
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,416
The point is, that
doesn't matter.
505
00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:00,536
I play a card and you have to say
if the next one is higher or lower
506
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,016
and if you get it wrong you
have to drink half the glass
507
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,936
and if you get a blackjack or an ace
you have to drink the whole glass
508
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,936
and if it's a seven it
changes direction, got it?
509
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,976
Er, I didn't understand
this thing about Brucie.
510
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,416
Forget that, that's
not relevant.
511
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,176
Er, and I'm not sure
I really want to play.
512
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,336
No, you will want to
play once you play,
513
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,816
because it's going
to be great, OK?
514
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,840
- MUSIC: Stars by Simply Red.
- And... turn a card.
515
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,240
Eight, OK, so I'm
going to go lower.
516
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:27,160
Ah, it's ten, so that means
I've got to drink half of that.
517
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,536
Gosh, that's... that is a
lot stronger than I thought.
518
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,240
It's nice, um, but
it's got quite a kick.
519
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:40,680
It's really strong.
520
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,536
Good, but strong. Great.
521
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,576
OK, so, your go, Xiaoming
- higher or lower?
522
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:48,616
Lower.
523
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:49,656
Lower.
524
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,536
Seven! It is lower, and seven
means it goes back to me,
525
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,976
so it's my turn again.
Er, I'm going to go...
526
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,056
Yeah, I'm going to go
lower than a seven.
527
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,336
Oh, my goodness,
528
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,600
OK, so, it's a queen, which means
I'm going to drink the rest of it.
529
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,600
I'm getting a bit of a
head start, aren't I?!
530
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,296
Agh.
531
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,616
- SLURRING: - So,
what's your name again?
532
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,496
- Er, Fara.
- Faro, Faro...
533
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,176
Fara, are you going to go
higher or lower than a queen?
534
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,216
Lower.
535
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,136
Lower, that's a good guess.
536
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:25,656
You're right, it's a good...
and, Xiaoming, higher or lower?
537
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:26,776
Er, higher.
538
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,656
Higher. I'd go higher.
539
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,016
You are higher, it is higher.
540
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,840
I'm going to go
lower than a king.
541
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,496
Oh come on, it's a blackjack!
542
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,256
It's a blackjack!
543
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,120
That means I'm going to have
to drink the whole thing, so...
544
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,960
Uh-oh.
545
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,256
Because that was punishment,
546
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,600
it's my go again.
I'm going to go
547
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,256
lower.
548
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,480
Oh...
549
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,536
You all right?
550
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,880
Sorry.
551
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,656
It's all good.
552
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,856
It's really nice.
553
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:07,920
PAUL SNORES
554
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,216
OK, I'm going to go
lower than an ace.
555
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,256
Oh, God, thank God.
556
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,536
Xiaoming?
557
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,416
- Higher.
- Higher? Higher?
558
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,856
It is higher and it's a
seven so it's back to me.
559
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,080
I'm going to go
lower than a seven.
560
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,160
OK...
561
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,376
Cool.
562
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,416
Is... Is she doing
this on purpose?
563
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,136
Yeah, Mum, probably
don't have that one.
564
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,440
This is really fun,
isn't it really fun?
565
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:49,237
Rach?
566
00:21:49,261 --> 00:21:50,376
SHE GROANS
567
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,520
- Rach?
- Mm?
568
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,720
I brought you some
water, Rachel, love.
569
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,976
What happened?
570
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,296
You fell asleep and were sick.
571
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,600
Oh...
572
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,160
Oh...
573
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,216
Are they still here?
574
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,456
No, they went a while ago.
575
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,256
Mm.
576
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,736
When you didn't come
back from the loo
577
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:20,896
we ended up showing Xiaoming a load
of Bruce Forsyth videos on YouTube.
578
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,696
Mm.
579
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,736
Well, I guess I'll definitely
be the weird old student now.
580
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,416
- With good reason, to be fair.
- Yeah.
581
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,496
Right, come on,
let's get you to bed.
582
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,016
- Ooh, ooh, hang on.
- Oh, oh, God, what's that?
583
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,336
- Oh...!
- No, what is it?
584
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,616
- That's my earwax!
- Oh, oh, my God! - Oh!
585
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,816
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God, oh, my God, that's disgusting.
586
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,896
- Oh, my God. - Wow!
- Oh, Sam, get it off me, get it off me!
587
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,416
- I'm-I'm not touching it.
- Oh, God!
588
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:44,776
I can hear everything.
589
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,816
- I'm like Superman. - Oh!
- Urgh.
590
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,016
Or - or normal man,
a policeman, anyway!
591
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,256
I told you the olive oil
would work, didn't I?
592
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,376
- Yeah! Oh, Mum, thanks so much.
- Oh, my God, oh, my God!
593
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,856
I don't know what
I'd do without you.
594
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:56,496
Oh, it's all smeared,
it's disgusting!
595
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:57,576
Oh, come on, jeez Louise.
596
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:58,816
And it's... Oh, my God.
597
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,816
- Overreacting much? It's just human wax.
- Urgh.
598
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,896
Now, make sure that your ear is
dry for at least a couple of days,
599
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,136
because otherwise it will
get all blocked up again.
600
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,136
- Yeah, yeah.
- What's all the shouting about?
601
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,936
My earwax came out!
602
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,336
And Mum was sick.
603
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:14,656
Amy, hi.
604
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:15,776
- Hi.
- Hiya.
605
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,896
How was the Norwegian film?
606
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,936
No idea, the train to Birmingham
was cancelled so I missed it.
607
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,736
This country's honestly shit.
608
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:24,856
Whoa.
609
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,016
- No, it's - it's not, Amy.
- It's not.
610
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,576
- You know, Paul's fixed the boat.
- Yeah. - Haven't you, Paul?
611
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,576
Yeah, she's all ship shape,
ready to try again tomorrow,
612
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,256
so that'll be
613
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,616
good, right? Good.
614
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,416
Hey? Look at that!
615
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,456
Oh, you smeared it in,
I wanted to keep that!
616
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,976
What you doing, Sam?
617
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,960
Just trying out that old camera.
618
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,336
- You OK?
- Yeah, no, I'm fine.
619
00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:58,496
Right, look out.
620
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,616
- Yeah, thanks, Cheryl, love.
- All right, OK...
621
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,976
- Careful, Robin.
- OK, then. - Okey do key.
622
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,696
Excellent, OK, take two - now
that I've fitted a new pull cord
623
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,376
it should be a lot
looser than yesterday,
624
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,216
but please don't sit
too close to the tiller,
625
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,096
I don't want to give
anyone another black eye.
626
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,016
Well, I've got nothing
left to give, by the way!
627
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,896
- I'm so sorry about that again, Robin.
- Ah...
628
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,416
No, don't be, his face definitely
looks way more even now.
629
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,576
- It does, it does.
- Please can we stop it from rocking?
630
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,736
Yeah, we do need to sort
out the weight distribution.
631
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,816
- Cherry, if you move...
- You what?
632
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:25,616
What are you trying to say?
633
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,056
No, I didn't...
634
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,856
OK, Mum, if you could...
635
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,656
What?! I've been on
a diet, thank you!
636
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,696
No, it's not like - it's not about
that, it could be anyone, oh, my God!
637
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,936
- I'll get off, I don't like boats anyway.
- Thank you, Sam.
638
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,336
- OK, cheers, go on, off you go.
- Bye.
639
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,976
All right, but don't - soft step,
Sam, all right don't clomp, Sam!
640
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,176
- Oh, Sam! - Don't rock it, Sam.
- You're not helping, mate.
641
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,536
Look, Chez, you come
over here with me, look.
642
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,576
- Amy, get over there next to Sue.
- OK?
643
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,016
All right, it will level out
once we get some knots up, OK?
644
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,616
- OK. Oh, God, please can we just keep it level?
- All right, OK.
645
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,056
Are you a bit
hungover then, Rachel?
646
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,096
No, no, actually, I'm
just a bit seasick.
647
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,256
Right, yeah.
648
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,736
- Warp speed, Mr Paulo.
- Yep, one sec.
649
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,896
I bet this reminds you of
the fjords, doesn't it?
650
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,616
No.
651
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,616
- OK, here we go!
- Come on!
652
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,416
Right, ready? Three, two, one!
653
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:11,536
Oh!
654
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:16,256
- Oh, my God, not again!
- No! Mate, you all right?
655
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,016
Not again! Robin, sit down!
656
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,696
- Sit down, please! Stop rocking the boat!
- Robin!
657
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,096
SHE VOMITS
658
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:25,136
Eurgh, Rach, stop vomming!
659
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:26,776
Stop vomming, Rach!
660
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,216
Oh, that's...
661
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,360
SHE LAUGHS, PAUL MOANS
662
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,840
That's so gross.
663
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,640
ROBIN: - Argh, get out of there!
664
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:39,120
I did say we should chuck it.
665
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:42,240
Definitely. Get it in the skip.
666
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,376
- I'll use my bod.
- AMY: - Here, Mum. - Oh...
667
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,136
Oh, thank you.
668
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,320
Ooh...
669
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,856
What are you smiling about?
670
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:57,120
Just... I'm quite happy
to be home, actually.
671
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:01,560
Mm.
672
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,216
Eurgh, you stink of vomit, Mum.
673
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,816
Here you go, love.
674
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,000
Thanks, Mum.
675
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,280
Mm, you're the best.
676
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:13,800
You know
677
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:19,176
if you wanted to, you'd be
welcome to move in with us
678
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,320
while you're looking
for somewhere else.
679
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,136
- Really?
- Yeah.
680
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,656
Let's do something nice
for you for a change.
681
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,776
- Oh...
- Watch out for the buoy, Rach. Rach!
682
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,016
- Aah, oh!
- Oh, Mum!
683
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,920
- You all right?
- Come on, come on get up.
684
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,976
Would that be all
right with Rachel?
685
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,016
Yeah, definitely.
686
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:39,256
Probably.
687
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,080
But, er, we'd love you to move in
with us, Mum, of course we would.
688
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,376
Oh, agh...
689
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,456
What is it?
690
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,576
- Oh... I think the water's blocked my ear again.
- Aww.
691
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,896
Oh, no way, Granny
kept the gnome of Dad!
692
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:55,936
AMY: - Really?
693
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:59,056
It's not "of" me. Mum, I thought
you said you were going to bin that?
694
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,016
Well, Amy said she wanted it.
695
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,576
Exactly, it's mine.
696
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,336
- Thanks, Granny.
- No Amy, Amy!
697
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:05,536
That's going in the skip!
698
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,976
- No! - Amy!
- No!
699
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,176
Amy, please!
700
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,496
- It's mine! - No! ROBIN: - Go on!
- Amy! Sam! Seize her!
701
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,056
- It's mine!
- Sam!
702
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,616
♪ I
703
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,496
♪ Wanna fall from the stars
704
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:25,056
♪ Straight into your arms, I
705
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,896
♪ I feel you
706
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:34,576
♪ I hope you comprehend, I
707
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:38,336
♪ Wanna fall from the stars
708
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:43,920
♪ Straight into your arms, I
709
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:47,896
♪ I feel you
710
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:53,176
♪ I hope you comprehend, I
711
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,480
♪ Wanna fall from the stars... ♪
712
00:27:56,530 --> 00:28:01,080
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