All language subtitles for Jef.Dunham.Im.With.Cupid.2024.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:04,270 - I'm funnier than he is, but they told me to introduce him. 2 00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:08,040 Here's Jeff Dunham! 3 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:11,010 [upbeat rock music] 4 00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:17,680 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:21,050 --> 00:00:24,050 - Well, welcome to my Valentine's Day special and... 6 00:00:24,050 --> 00:00:26,820 [cheers and applause] 7 00:00:26,820 --> 00:00:28,520 There are at least two things in this world 8 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,290 that I know are completely universal. 9 00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:34,560 We all need love and laughter. 10 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,470 Audrey and I have now been married for 11 and 1/2 years, 11 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,100 and I, I am the luckiest man on the planet. 12 00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:41,600 I say that every single day. 13 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,470 Yeah, and-- 14 00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:46,540 But now the world turns, 15 00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:48,240 and I have twin boys, Jack and James. 16 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,280 They are eight years of age. 17 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,980 [cheers and applause] Yeah, thanks. 18 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:54,180 But you know, with the kids, 19 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,620 you never know what you're going to get. 20 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,820 There's some DNA mixed in with how you raise them. 21 00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:59,290 No matter what you do, they could turn out 22 00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:03,260 to be little shits anyway, so. 23 00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:05,960 But at age eight, all kids are sponges. 24 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,830 You know, they hear stuff, and they repeat it 25 00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:09,000 whether they should or not. 26 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,500 And if I had known earlier in life 27 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,300 than later in life I was gonna have more kids, 28 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:14,000 I might not have said some of the things I did 29 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,840 in some of my stand-up specials. 30 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,010 There's a couple of specials 31 00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:23,550 where Peanut imitates porno music. 32 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,750 And I'm not kidding, I don't know how many times I've caught 33 00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:27,780 James walking through the house all by himself, 34 00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:32,520 and he's going ♪ boom, chicka, wow, wow ♪ 35 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,090 And you know I'm gonna get that call from school. 36 00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:37,330 "Mr. Dunham, James has been imitating pornographic music." 37 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,160 I'm like, "oh, yeah, he got that from his mom. 38 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:43,360 I have no idea where that came from, so." 39 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,900 Speaking of love, are you guys ready for 40 00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:46,330 the little people in the boxes? 41 00:01:46,330 --> 00:01:49,470 [cheers and applause] All right. 42 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:54,810 In classical mythology, Cupid is the god of desire, 43 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:57,810 erotic love, attraction, and affection. 44 00:01:57,810 --> 00:02:01,420 So ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome Cupid. 45 00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:04,390 [upbeat rock music] 46 00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:07,690 ♪ ♪ 47 00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:11,890 [laughter] 48 00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:18,730 [cheers and applause] 49 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:22,240 - Shut the hell up. 50 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,340 [mocking laughter] 51 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,780 You know how much I hate you right now. 52 00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:37,690 - Hello, Cupid. - I'm Walter, damn it. 53 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,520 - Yeah, but tonight you're supposed to be Cupid. 54 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,520 - I'd rather be working at Walmart. 55 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,130 - [chuckles] Just play along. 56 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,530 - [mockingly] Just play along. 57 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,570 - So Valentine's Day is a busy time for you, isn't it, Cupid? 58 00:02:52,570 --> 00:02:58,140 - This qualifies as elder abuse. 59 00:02:58,140 --> 00:02:59,540 - It looks like you're ready to 60 00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:01,610 get to work for Valentine's Day. Are you feeling OK? 61 00:03:01,610 --> 00:03:05,550 - No, I'm half naked and my nipples are chapped. 62 00:03:05,550 --> 00:03:11,620 And what kind of costume is wings and Depends? 63 00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:13,960 These lights are too bright. Put my sunglasses on. 64 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:14,990 - You want sunglasses? 65 00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:16,190 - Put on the damn sunglasses. 66 00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:17,490 It's too bright out here. 67 00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,660 Whatever, just put 'em on me. 68 00:03:18,660 --> 00:03:19,790 Oh, you're gonna blind me. 69 00:03:19,790 --> 00:03:22,400 What the hell is wrong with you? 70 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,530 - There. - Oh, ah, much better. 71 00:03:24,530 --> 00:03:29,000 [cheers and applause] 72 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,110 Look, Ray-Bans and Depends. 73 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:34,910 I'm Joe Biden! 74 00:03:38,950 --> 00:03:43,820 [cackling laugh] 75 00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:46,090 I'm president and I can't get up. 76 00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:48,660 - Will you stop? 77 00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:52,560 Walter-- - Ah, come on. 78 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,430 Folks say I look like him all the time. 79 00:03:54,430 --> 00:03:56,060 - Yeah, they do. - Yeah, they're like, 80 00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:57,630 "are you Joe Biden?" 81 00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:58,930 I wouldn't want to disappoint them, 82 00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:02,770 so I say, "I don't know," and they believe me! 83 00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:07,340 - I'm taking these off. - Well, that was easy. 84 00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:08,940 - So as Cupid, your job is to go around 85 00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:10,810 shooting arrows into people's hearts, 86 00:04:10,810 --> 00:04:12,880 which then makes them fall in love, right? 87 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,920 - Yeah, yeah. Love, lust, whatever you want to call it. 88 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,050 - Oh. So what's the difference between love and lust? 89 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,620 - 50 bucks. 90 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:28,100 Less in certain parts of Florida. 91 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:31,230 - Oh. 92 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,940 Yeah, and why do you shoot arrows? 93 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,700 - I don't know, TSA took my Glock. 94 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:39,640 How about that? [grumbles] 95 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,040 - Let's talk about relationships. 96 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,010 - Oh, I am an expert on that. - OK. 97 00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:47,180 So how should a man approach a woman he's attracted to? 98 00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:50,280 - From the rear. - No. 99 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:55,190 - And with the size of some of the asses these days, 100 00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:59,530 that could be considered a long distance relationship. 101 00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:04,800 - So, Cupid, aren't greeting cards a good way 102 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,330 of expressing your love for someone? 103 00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:08,870 - Oh, sure, yeah, greeting cards are good for anybody. 104 00:05:08,870 --> 00:05:10,740 In fact, I've written a few myself. 105 00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:13,140 - Some greeting cards? Can you recite a couple for us? 106 00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:14,510 - Sure. 107 00:05:14,510 --> 00:05:16,680 - Do you have one for longtime married couples? 108 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,180 - Oh, absolutely. Here we go. [clears throat] 109 00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:22,920 "Our love all these years has been a blissful occurrence. 110 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,450 I wish you would die so I could collect the insurance." 111 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,760 - No. - OK. 112 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,530 How about one for younger couples? 113 00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:37,270 - Younger couples, great. - OK. 114 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,730 "Meeting you was amazing luck, 115 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,170 and I think of that most each time that we--" 116 00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:45,970 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 117 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:49,580 - "Have dinner." What did you think I was gonna say? 118 00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:52,550 You're a bad man. 119 00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:53,920 - So how is your love life? 120 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,420 - Oh, you mean me as Walter and-- 121 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:56,680 and with the wife? - Yeah. 122 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,820 - Well, things are different at our age. 123 00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:00,120 - I'm sure. - Yeah. 124 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,560 We're actually kinkier now. 125 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,720 - OK, I don't want to hear about it. 126 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,690 - Yeah, now she offers me the choice: 127 00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:07,130 teeth in or teeth out. 128 00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:15,870 Trust me, you'll see. - OK. 129 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:19,140 Well, I'm glad you're happy. 130 00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:20,510 - I didn't say that. 131 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,140 - Do you ever tell your wife that you love her? 132 00:06:22,140 --> 00:06:23,340 - Of course I do. 133 00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,410 - How often do you tell her? - Once. 134 00:06:24,410 --> 00:06:27,150 - A day? - A year. 135 00:06:27,150 --> 00:06:30,950 - Well, that's not very much. - It adds up. 136 00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:32,890 - I guess you tell her on Valentine's Day? 137 00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:34,120 - No. - Mother's Day? 138 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:35,090 - No. - Christmas? 139 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,990 - April Fools. 140 00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:41,060 I'm kidding. - Good. 141 00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:45,030 - Yeah, I tell her every February 29th. 142 00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:48,800 - Let's talk about romance. - Oh, great. 143 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,640 - All right. Just some simple things. 144 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,510 Do you and your wife ever watch movies together? 145 00:06:52,510 --> 00:06:54,780 - Yeah, she wants to watch our wedding movies. 146 00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:56,510 - That's nice. - I can't do it. 147 00:06:56,510 --> 00:07:00,250 - Why not? - I know what happens next. 148 00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,320 - So when you proposed, did you get down on one knee? 149 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:03,450 - Yeah, I had to. 150 00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:07,290 I didn't want to look her in the eye. 151 00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:09,120 Say, I got a joke-joke for you. 152 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,390 What does Disney World have in common with Viagra? 153 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,690 - I don't know, what? 154 00:07:13,690 --> 00:07:16,660 - An hour-long wait for a two-minute ride. 155 00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:27,240 - You're not gonna start telling joke-jokes now, 156 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,610 are you? - Oh, sure. 157 00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:30,080 I'll do some wife jokes and get you canceled. 158 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,480 - Walter-- - Hang on, hang on. 159 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,450 My wife is so ugly. 160 00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:37,050 crowd: How ugly is she? 161 00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:42,160 - She sat on her iPhone and it unlocked. 162 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,360 That's butt ugly. 163 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,660 - We got it. - OK. 164 00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:47,560 Calm down, though, it's not one sided. 165 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,330 - How's that? - Every Valentine's Day, 166 00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:52,300 she gets me sweetheart candies with sayings on them. 167 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,670 - Oh, like "be mine"? 168 00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:57,840 - No, no. "Do not resuscitate." 169 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,170 I will say, though, 170 00:07:59,170 --> 00:08:01,310 we did go to a marriage counselor one time. 171 00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:02,440 - You did? - Oh, yeah. 172 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,010 He said I should take my wife out 173 00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:06,150 and treat her like I did on our first date. 174 00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:07,950 - Sounds like a good idea. - Yeah. 175 00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:09,850 So I took her to dinner, felt her up, 176 00:08:09,850 --> 00:08:13,750 then dropped her off at her parents' house. 177 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:17,560 - But despite that kind of stuff, the love life is OK? 178 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,060 - Yeah, we do our best. 179 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:21,830 We tried role playing with a little French maid outfit. 180 00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:23,530 - Ooh, how'd that go? 181 00:08:23,530 --> 00:08:25,330 - Uh, she said it was too tight. 182 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,840 - Ah. - And my accent was bad. 183 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,210 See, I put the maid outfit on. 184 00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:37,140 - They got it. 185 00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:38,980 - And then I had her put it on. - OK. 186 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,480 - Not because it was sexy. 187 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:41,550 I thought she might... - Walter. 188 00:08:41,550 --> 00:08:42,550 - Finally... - Walter. 189 00:08:42,550 --> 00:08:43,580 - Do some... - Walter. 190 00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:48,160 - Fucking housework. - Walter! 191 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,930 You really are trying to get me canceled. 192 00:08:52,930 --> 00:08:54,960 - No, I'm trying to get my fucking house cleaned. 193 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,970 - Please! 194 00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,500 Say good night, Walter. 195 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,540 - Thanks, Tampa Bay! 196 00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:02,940 - Thanks, Walter. 197 00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:04,540 [cheers and applause] 198 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,420 - This next guy is from somewhere down south in the US. 199 00:09:08,420 --> 00:09:10,750 Please help me welcome Bubba J. 200 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,760 [upbeat rock music] 201 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,090 [cheers and applause] 202 00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:17,730 - [chortles] 203 00:09:17,730 --> 00:09:21,800 - How you doing Bubba J? - I'm doing purdy good! 204 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,930 - So what's been going on with you lately? 205 00:09:25,930 --> 00:09:28,900 - Well, last week I went to my best friend's wedding. 206 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,310 - That's nice. - Yeah. 207 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:35,240 It was a combination wedding and gender reveal party. 208 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,810 - Oh. - Yeah. 209 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:41,520 He was very happy to find out that she really was a woman. 210 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:55,130 Yeah, always a nail-biter, right, guys? 211 00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:57,470 - And how's your family? - They're all good. 212 00:09:57,470 --> 00:10:01,140 - Yeah, and, uh, what's your wife's name? 213 00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:04,240 - Uh... 214 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:05,310 - Bubba J? 215 00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:08,740 - Oh, no, that's my name. 216 00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:10,710 - But she's doing well? - Yeah, she's great. 217 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:11,950 - You two have a lot in common, don't you? 218 00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:13,820 - Yeah, we're made for each other. 219 00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:15,220 - I bet. - Yeah, you know, 220 00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:19,820 we both got the exact same results in our DNA tests. 221 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,860 - Bubba J, how can you be so smart on one hand, 222 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,700 and so stupid on the other? 223 00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:31,770 - Well, you're half of it. 224 00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:37,340 - Well, you know, Bubba J, during the show tonight 225 00:10:37,340 --> 00:10:40,210 we've been talking about that romantic day in February. 226 00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:43,780 - Yeah, Groundhog Day. 227 00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:46,120 - No, it's a romantic day. - Romantic? 228 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,780 - Yeah, February 14th is the day for lovers. 229 00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:51,750 - Oh. [chortles] Lovers. 230 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:57,690 You mean the day you watch the no-no channels? 231 00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,260 - The no-no channels? - Yes. 232 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:04,030 Like, "no-no, you're not doing that to me." 233 00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:07,470 - No. - No, not "no." 234 00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:10,740 It's no-no. [giggling] 235 00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:14,810 - I'm talking about romance. - So am I. 236 00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:16,110 - Do you and your wife ever watch 237 00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:19,010 actual sweet romantic movies? - Like what? 238 00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:21,220 - You know, things like where the guy gets the girl. 239 00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:23,190 - Oh, yeah, like Freddy Krueger? 240 00:11:23,190 --> 00:11:24,820 Oh, yeah, yeah. 241 00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:26,260 - No. - I don't know. 242 00:11:26,260 --> 00:11:28,420 - Come on, what first attracted you to your wife? 243 00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:30,590 - Well, she's really hot. 244 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:31,660 - OK. - Yeah. 245 00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,230 And she's really big. - Oh. 246 00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:37,570 - Yeah, so it was gravity. - Yeah--oh. 247 00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:43,240 - Yeah, if she spins around too fast, she'll suck you right in. 248 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,910 - And how's the romance between you two? 249 00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:45,910 - Oh, it's purdy good. 250 00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,340 - Yeah? - Yeah. 251 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:52,250 In fact, one of your little boys taught me something. 252 00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:53,280 - What's that? 253 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,720 - ♪ Boom, chicka, wow, wow ♪ 254 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:02,790 - So when you proposed, 255 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:05,060 did you ask her father for her hand in marriage? 256 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:07,600 - I sure did. I called him up and I go, 257 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:12,000 "hey, Uncle Phil, it's me, Bubba J." 258 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,340 And you know our wedding was half the cost 259 00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:21,710 of the average wedding. - How's that? 260 00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:24,110 - Huh! Just one family. 261 00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:34,890 Yeah, the whole left side of the church was empty. 262 00:12:34,890 --> 00:12:37,260 - Oh. [chuckles] 263 00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:39,230 You ever go out with your wife for a romantic evening 264 00:12:39,230 --> 00:12:41,360 and whisper sweet nothings in her ear? 265 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,930 - What's a sweet nothing? 266 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,100 Oh, I know. 267 00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,940 [whispering] Diet Coke. 268 00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,970 - No, sweet nothings are just flattering things 269 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,970 that you say softly to someone you love. 270 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:53,480 - Oh, yeah, like, 271 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:58,580 [whispering] "you're as hot as your mother." 272 00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:00,120 Hey, hey! 273 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:04,650 He thinks this crap up, not me. 274 00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:08,660 My wife is beautiful, though. - That's very sweet. 275 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,460 And what makes her beautiful? 276 00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:13,830 - Six beers. - No. 277 00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:15,830 - OK, less if the light is dim. 278 00:13:15,830 --> 00:13:17,530 - All right. [laughs] 279 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,940 And how dim should it be for you to look good to her? 280 00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:23,840 - [chortles] Total frickin' darkness. 281 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,240 - How's the rest of your family doing? 282 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,740 - They're good. - How's your sister? 283 00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,040 - She just got married. 284 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,080 - Oh, really? So she got hit by Cupid's arrow. 285 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,210 - [chuckles] No. 286 00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:35,080 Our yard guy needed citizenship. 287 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,120 - That's not right. 288 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,820 - You think they'll leave that joke in your show? 289 00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:44,830 - I-- 290 00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:46,060 I doubt it. 291 00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:51,270 - Olé! - All right. 292 00:13:51,270 --> 00:13:52,830 So I know your birthday is coming up. 293 00:13:52,830 --> 00:13:54,100 You're gonna get a little TLC? 294 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:59,310 - [chortles] Jeff, it's spelled KFC. 295 00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:00,780 You should come over next weekend. 296 00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:02,240 I'm barbecuing a turkey. 297 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,880 - Oh, you love doing that, don't you? 298 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,350 - Yeah, and we may or may not 299 00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:07,520 have some skinny dipping going on. 300 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:08,820 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 301 00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:12,960 [gurgling] ♪ Boom, chicka, wow, wow ♪ 302 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,060 - [chuckles] What? 303 00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:19,060 Bubba J, where did you learn to talk like that? 304 00:14:19,060 --> 00:14:21,830 - Oh, you drink as much as I do, you fucking learn. 305 00:14:21,830 --> 00:14:25,630 - All right. 306 00:14:25,630 --> 00:14:27,940 So, Bubba J, how about your favorite part of the show? 307 00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:29,270 - OK, great. 308 00:14:29,270 --> 00:14:31,170 This is the part where you get to hear 309 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:34,810 what I think about stuff after I've had one too many. 310 00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:37,680 Or maybe five, or eight, or the whole keg. 311 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,010 - All right. - Yeah. 312 00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:42,180 - All right. 313 00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:45,250 - So welcome to the Valentine's edition of 314 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:48,990 Bubba J's Drinkin' and Thinkin'. 315 00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:51,960 [pensive piano music] 316 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,860 ♪ ♪ 317 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,300 Oh, I like the music. 318 00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:58,500 - Yeah. - Yeah, puts me in the mood. 319 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,000 - Oh, mood for what? 320 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,570 - [gurgling] ♪ Boom, chicka, wow, wow ♪ 321 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:04,710 - Just go. - OK. 322 00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:07,280 Drinkin' and Thinkin'. 323 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,810 For Valentine's Day, my wife said 324 00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:11,750 she wanted her favorite flower. 325 00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:14,680 So I gave her Bisquick. 326 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:21,590 ♪ ♪ 327 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,460 The first time someone wished me "happy VD," 328 00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:30,900 I thought, "how the hell did they know?" 329 00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:36,670 When a woman says that I must love her from afar, 330 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:42,810 what that really means is that she filed a restraining order. 331 00:15:42,810 --> 00:15:45,350 One-night stands make me feel empty. 332 00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:48,380 - Yeah. - Which means it went great. 333 00:15:52,790 --> 00:15:54,920 - I'm sorry. 334 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:02,830 - Guys, never get involved with a farm animal. 335 00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,800 - What? - I know, I know. 336 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,440 Moo means moo. 337 00:16:10,940 --> 00:16:12,940 When a woman asks you if you know 338 00:16:12,940 --> 00:16:14,880 the quickest way to her heart, 339 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:20,680 don't do what I did and stick your head between her tatas. 340 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,620 That was the worst ever birthday for Grandma. 341 00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:26,590 [crowd groans] 342 00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:27,890 Oh, too far? 343 00:16:27,890 --> 00:16:29,730 Yeah, too far? 344 00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:30,890 - Too far. - Yeah. 345 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:35,700 [gurgling] 346 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,730 Oh, wait, it's Grandma. 347 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,470 [gurgling] 348 00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:43,110 - Say goodnight, Bubba J. 349 00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:45,410 - Happy Valentines, Tampa! 350 00:16:45,410 --> 00:16:46,410 [cheering] 351 00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:52,260 - He's purple, he's wacky. 352 00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:55,530 [cheers and applause] 353 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:57,930 Please help me welcome my buddy, Peanut! 354 00:16:57,930 --> 00:17:00,900 [upbeat rock music] 355 00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:07,570 ♪ ♪ 356 00:17:07,570 --> 00:17:09,540 [cheers and applause] 357 00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:11,740 - [laughing] 358 00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,110 - How are you doing, Peanut? - Doing pretty good. 359 00:17:13,110 --> 00:17:14,380 How about you? - I'm fine. 360 00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,680 - That's good, that's good, that's good! 361 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:17,950 [cackles] 362 00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:20,050 Ha-ha! - Cut it out. 363 00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:21,950 - ♪ I'm a little asshole, short and stout ♪ 364 00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:24,190 ♪ This is my handle, I can't show you my spout ♪ 365 00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:27,060 [cackles] Ha-ha! - Stop it! 366 00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:29,760 Peanut! - Jeff-fa-fa! 367 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,460 - Do you know why we're here? - I do. 368 00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:32,960 - We've been talking about Valentine's Day. 369 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,270 - I have been listening, 370 00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:35,900 and you have finally come to the right guy 371 00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:37,870 to talk about romance, my man. 372 00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:39,740 - You? - Yes, me. For example: 373 00:17:39,740 --> 00:17:42,040 that is not just a suitcase you got me out of. 374 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,310 - No? - No! 375 00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:48,350 That, my friend, is where I take the ladies. 376 00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:52,980 - What? - That is the Luggage of Love. 377 00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:55,490 - The luggage? - Of Love. 378 00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:57,020 And you know it by the music. 379 00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:58,160 - The music? - Yeah. 380 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,630 ♪ Boom, chicka, wow, wow ♪ 381 00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:04,230 - Peanut, no one but you can fit inside that suitcase. 382 00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:07,260 - Oh, you'd be surprised. 383 00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:10,130 - Maybe just and José Jalapeño. 384 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:16,210 [crowd whooping] 385 00:18:16,210 --> 00:18:18,940 On a stick. [chuckles] 386 00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:21,450 - OK, don't be gross. 387 00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:24,750 I refuse to allow a stick in my box. 388 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,460 I-I just said that out loud, didn't I? 389 00:18:32,460 --> 00:18:34,330 - Yeah, you did. - Yeah. 390 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:37,030 Well, I meant it. Both ways. - All right. [chuckles] 391 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,970 Have you been on any dates lately? 392 00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:43,000 - Well, I think about it a lot. 393 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,140 - You think about going on dates? 394 00:18:44,140 --> 00:18:45,470 - Yeah, I do. 395 00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:47,170 I try and figure out how to make it happen 396 00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:50,710 without you being there too! 397 00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:52,040 - Right. - It's not easy. 398 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,280 I just seem to lay there. - [chuckles] 399 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,550 - It's not funny! 400 00:18:56,550 --> 00:18:59,150 It's like my own "Toy Story" hell. 401 00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:04,760 And no Woody. 402 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,790 - [laughs] 403 00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:08,690 Wha-- 404 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,830 - Maybe a little Buzz. - All right. [laughs] 405 00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:17,640 - But I'm looking good, right, ladies? 406 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,400 [crowd hollering] 407 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,640 That is Fifty Shades of Purple right there. 408 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,550 ♪ Boom, chicka, wow, wow ♪ 409 00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:31,250 - Look, Valentine's Day. It's the holiday of love. 410 00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,180 - It is about love, isn't it? - Of course. 411 00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:38,560 And who is that extra special person in your life right now? 412 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:39,760 - Well. 413 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,530 - Is there someone? 414 00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:43,260 - [sniffles] No. 415 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:44,830 [crowd groans sympathetically] 416 00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:47,100 [whimpers] 417 00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,500 [sympathetic groans, laughter] 418 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:53,000 [high-pitched] Thank you. 419 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,570 - I'm really sorry. - I know. 420 00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:56,410 But look at you. - Yeah. 421 00:19:56,410 --> 00:19:58,810 - And Walter. And Bubba J. 422 00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:00,850 You all have someone. 423 00:20:00,850 --> 00:20:02,450 - You know, maybe José could help you. 424 00:20:02,450 --> 00:20:03,710 - Help me what? - Find a date. 425 00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:06,380 - [laughs] Wait, you're serious? 426 00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:08,450 - Well, I've heard-- - You've heard what? 427 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:09,720 - He's Latin. - So? 428 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:13,060 - You know, a Latin lover. - On a stick? 429 00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,760 - Why don't we ask him? - Oh, no. 430 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,160 - Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome 431 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,960 José Jalapeño on a Stick. 432 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:23,170 [cheers and applause] 433 00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:25,070 Good evening, José. 434 00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,810 - Buenas noches, Señor Jeff. 435 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,540 And others. 436 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,540 - He's not, uh, happy with me right now. 437 00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:34,580 - We are not speaking. 438 00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:36,250 - Why not? - Don't worry about it. 439 00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:38,780 - He ate my cousin Julio. 440 00:20:42,550 --> 00:20:44,390 - You ate his cousin Julio? 441 00:20:44,390 --> 00:20:45,760 - Well, how was I supposed to know? 442 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:49,590 He was just laying there next to the dip. 443 00:20:49,590 --> 00:20:51,830 Not saying anything. I thought he was a popper. 444 00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:54,670 - [laughs] 445 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,970 - I don't want to talk to you. 446 00:20:56,970 --> 00:21:02,170 - Oh, OK, I'm--I'm actually... really sorry, José. 447 00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:04,540 - He died doing what he loved most. 448 00:21:04,540 --> 00:21:08,450 - What was that? - Burning your mouth. 449 00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:10,510 - He did do that. - Right. 450 00:21:10,510 --> 00:21:14,550 - And later your ass. 451 00:21:14,550 --> 00:21:17,450 - I'll let you know. - OK. 452 00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:19,560 So, José, you think you can help Peanut get a date? 453 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,590 - Sí, I know women. - You? 454 00:21:21,590 --> 00:21:23,890 I have never seen you with a woman! 455 00:21:23,890 --> 00:21:26,430 [scoffs] You're in that box all day long. 456 00:21:26,430 --> 00:21:28,670 - Sí, but many of the times, I am not alone. 457 00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:31,500 - Oh, come on. Who gets in there with you? 458 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:32,800 - Ask your mother. 459 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,540 - Hey! 460 00:21:34,540 --> 00:21:37,410 What the hell? - [laughs] All right. 461 00:21:37,410 --> 00:21:38,540 - Did you hear that? - Yeah. 462 00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:41,150 - I'll deep fry his ass. - No. 463 00:21:41,150 --> 00:21:42,510 - And his stick. - Steeck. 464 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:43,650 - Whatever. - Calm down. 465 00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:45,050 - He said he was with my mother! 466 00:21:45,050 --> 00:21:46,280 - I know. 467 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:47,720 - My mother can't fit in José's box. 468 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,690 - No, but José can fit in your mother's-- 469 00:21:49,690 --> 00:21:51,860 - All right! 470 00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,260 - What the hell? 471 00:21:53,260 --> 00:21:54,590 - I'm-- [laughs] 472 00:21:57,290 --> 00:21:58,930 - I'm gonna slice him up and serve him 473 00:21:58,930 --> 00:22:01,800 on our next plate of frickin' nachos. 474 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,600 - And that's when I burn your ass. 475 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,240 - You can't! - Yes, I can. 476 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:09,070 - I don't have an ass! 477 00:22:09,070 --> 00:22:11,880 It's an elbow. 478 00:22:16,910 --> 00:22:19,080 - That sounds much worse than a stick. 479 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,520 - All ri-- [laughs] 480 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,620 - I thought this was gonna be a lot more fun. 481 00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:26,190 - That's what I said to your mother. 482 00:22:26,190 --> 00:22:27,360 - Hey! - All right! 483 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,760 Wait--wait a minute. 484 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,030 - I bet your mother had a steeck. 485 00:22:32,030 --> 00:22:33,400 - Not as big as your sister's. 486 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:37,300 - Oh, will you stop it, both of you? 487 00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:38,600 Say good night, José. 488 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,270 - I am José Jalapeño. - On a Stick. 489 00:22:41,270 --> 00:22:42,340 - There he is. - Hey! 490 00:22:42,340 --> 00:22:44,240 - All right. 491 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,540 [cheers and applause] 492 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,370 - All right, look, Peanut, have you ever tried 493 00:22:49,370 --> 00:22:50,710 online dating? - Well? 494 00:22:50,710 --> 00:22:52,010 - I thought that maybe we could help you out 495 00:22:52,010 --> 00:22:53,480 by filling out a profile on one of those sites 496 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,540 and see how it goes. - Oh, OK. 497 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:56,710 - I pulled up the site. - Yeah. 498 00:22:56,710 --> 00:22:58,210 - And let's enter your profile. 499 00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,320 Let's see what happens. - OK. 500 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,450 - So for example, OK, uh, name. 501 00:23:01,450 --> 00:23:05,450 - OK, first name, Pea, last name Nut. 502 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,090 - That's not right. - There's two blanks. 503 00:23:09,090 --> 00:23:10,330 What are you gonna do? 504 00:23:10,330 --> 00:23:13,260 Initial P then last name [gargles]? 505 00:23:13,260 --> 00:23:14,460 Sound like you're talking backwards. 506 00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:18,000 [mimics talking in reverse] 507 00:23:19,740 --> 00:23:22,040 - Height? - Six four. 508 00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:25,680 - You're like two four. 509 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,810 - Objects in mirror are larger than they appear. 510 00:23:29,810 --> 00:23:32,280 - OK, now it's asking your relationship intent. 511 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,680 Is it long term, short term, 512 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,320 short but open to long term, not sure. 513 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:40,660 - Is there a checkbox for "wham, bam, thank you ma'am"? 514 00:23:42,530 --> 00:23:45,090 - OK, sexual orientation. 515 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,730 - Upside down. - No. 516 00:23:47,730 --> 00:23:48,800 - Sideways? - No. 517 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,830 - About face. - Stop it. 518 00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:53,000 - That's what she said. - [laughs] 519 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,500 I have no idea what you're doing! 520 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,770 - She also said that. - Wh-- 521 00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:58,510 what do I enter? - He said that. 522 00:23:58,510 --> 00:24:00,780 - Stop it! 523 00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:04,180 Income? - What? 524 00:24:04,180 --> 00:24:05,380 - Income. - Outcome? 525 00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:08,320 - What? - Income, outcome. How come? 526 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,120 - Read this, right there. 527 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:13,260 - Uh, "the amount of money you make anally." 528 00:24:13,260 --> 00:24:16,230 - Annually! 529 00:24:16,230 --> 00:24:19,200 - Oh, that's way different. 530 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:25,400 It's amazing how one little missing U can rock your world. 531 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:29,840 And make it difficult to walk. - [laughs] 532 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,110 OK, we've now gotten to the part of the show 533 00:24:34,110 --> 00:24:36,010 that I'm not really sure about, Peanut. 534 00:24:36,010 --> 00:24:38,150 - What's that? - Well, as the audience knows, 535 00:24:38,150 --> 00:24:41,820 before the show started, many of them were given these cards 536 00:24:41,820 --> 00:24:43,620 and asked to write you questions about 537 00:24:43,620 --> 00:24:44,850 love and relationships, 538 00:24:44,850 --> 00:24:46,990 anything to do with Valentines. - Yep. 539 00:24:46,990 --> 00:24:49,460 - So, uh, where is-- 540 00:24:49,460 --> 00:24:51,130 all right, I can't read the first name. 541 00:24:51,130 --> 00:24:54,400 Is it "Fru--" 542 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:55,560 Fr-- person: Frank! 543 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,100 - Oh, Frank? 544 00:24:57,100 --> 00:25:00,400 - It looks like "Fruck." 545 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:01,870 - All right, Frank. 546 00:25:01,870 --> 00:25:03,940 "Dear Peanut, I got my wife these tickets 547 00:25:03,940 --> 00:25:07,210 for our 10th anniversary. Is this enough?" 548 00:25:07,210 --> 00:25:11,050 - Let's see, 25th anniversary is silver, 50th is gold, 549 00:25:11,050 --> 00:25:14,520 and 10th is warm beer and a puppet show. 550 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,550 Yes, you're a good, Frank. 551 00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:22,190 - John Simmons. 552 00:25:22,190 --> 00:25:24,530 "Dear Peanut, are children with peanut allergies 553 00:25:24,530 --> 00:25:28,400 allowed to play with you?" 554 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,600 - Oh, ha, ha, ha. 555 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,240 Yes, they are. Deal with the itch, bitch. 556 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,570 - Oh, that's-- 557 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,540 Kate and Sherry. 558 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:43,210 "Dear Peanut, what advice would you give 559 00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:45,080 "a married lesbian couple 560 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:49,350 that's been with each other for 14 years?" 561 00:25:49,350 --> 00:25:50,390 - Do you know? - No. 562 00:25:50,390 --> 00:25:51,650 - I don't know either. 563 00:25:51,650 --> 00:25:54,520 Clearly, we don't have anything you need. 564 00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:06,340 - Where are Dennis and Cathy? 565 00:26:06,340 --> 00:26:07,870 Aw! "Dear Peanut, 566 00:26:07,870 --> 00:26:11,870 "we reconnected at our 56th class reunion two years ago. 567 00:26:11,870 --> 00:26:14,240 Should we get married?" 568 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,410 [crowd shouting approval] 569 00:26:16,410 --> 00:26:18,310 - I guess so. 570 00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:20,820 Are you the last two left? 571 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,560 Happy Valentine's Day. 572 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,360 - Uh, John McLendon. 573 00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,600 "Dear Peanut, after 20 plus years of marriage, 574 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,870 "how can I get my wife to, you know, want to, 575 00:26:36,870 --> 00:26:39,640 "you know, have, um, well, you know, sex? 576 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,600 Any thoughts?" 577 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,610 - Well, John, clearly from this question, 578 00:26:43,610 --> 00:26:48,180 it shows you like to beat around the bush. 579 00:26:50,550 --> 00:26:54,280 And there's your problem. 580 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,220 - Say goodnight, Peanut. 581 00:26:57,220 --> 00:27:02,020 [cheers and applause] 582 00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:05,290 - There's a character that has been in my act for many years, 583 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:06,400 but for various reasons, 584 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,960 he has now been all but banned 585 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,830 from any new television programming. 586 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:14,770 [cheers and applause] 587 00:27:14,770 --> 00:27:18,340 And because of all that, he is not with us here tonight. 588 00:27:18,340 --> 00:27:20,980 [crowd groaning, booing] 589 00:27:20,980 --> 00:27:22,980 However! 590 00:27:22,980 --> 00:27:27,820 It seems that he has a distant cousin... 591 00:27:27,820 --> 00:27:30,620 a long-lost relative who apparently is immortal 592 00:27:30,620 --> 00:27:32,090 and Greek and a god. 593 00:27:32,090 --> 00:27:33,690 Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome 594 00:27:33,690 --> 00:27:36,390 the Greek god, Achimedes. 595 00:27:36,390 --> 00:27:39,360 [upbeat rock music] 596 00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:41,730 ♪ ♪ 597 00:27:41,730 --> 00:27:46,640 - [cackling] 598 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:51,740 [cheers and applause] 599 00:27:51,740 --> 00:27:57,480 Greetings, mortal human infidels! 600 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,210 [cackles] 601 00:27:59,210 --> 00:28:01,180 It is I! 602 00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:03,850 What's my name? 603 00:28:03,850 --> 00:28:06,920 - Achimedes. - Achimedes! 604 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:12,360 I am the ancient Greek god of keeler love. 605 00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:13,630 - What--what's killer love? 606 00:28:13,630 --> 00:28:15,500 - Not killer, keeler! 607 00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:16,630 - Keeler. - Yes. 608 00:28:16,630 --> 00:28:18,430 - And where are you from, Achimedes? 609 00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:20,440 - Uh... 610 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:24,210 - Mount Olympus. - Mm--what? 611 00:28:24,210 --> 00:28:25,310 - Yes. - OK. 612 00:28:25,310 --> 00:28:28,780 Mount the platypus! 613 00:28:28,780 --> 00:28:29,750 - No. - What? 614 00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:30,910 - Mount Olympus. 615 00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:35,080 - Yes, don't forget the puss. 616 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,590 I am from the mountain of platypuses! 617 00:28:37,590 --> 00:28:39,520 - No. 618 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:40,590 - Platy-pussies? 619 00:28:40,590 --> 00:28:43,030 - No, no! No! 620 00:28:45,230 --> 00:28:47,430 - I'm not sure I can say that. - Just forget it. 621 00:28:47,430 --> 00:28:50,400 - Silence! 622 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:51,630 I love you. 623 00:28:51,630 --> 00:28:56,210 [laughter and applause] 624 00:29:00,540 --> 00:29:01,540 - Really? - Yes. 625 00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:03,850 It's "silence! I love you." 626 00:29:05,950 --> 00:29:07,380 - That's different. - Yes, I know. 627 00:29:07,380 --> 00:29:09,490 I call it keeler love. 628 00:29:09,490 --> 00:29:10,820 - OK. - Yeah. 629 00:29:10,820 --> 00:29:13,090 - I got it. - I keel you! With love. 630 00:29:19,100 --> 00:29:20,300 - And what is your job, Achimedes? 631 00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:21,900 - I am a god. 632 00:29:21,900 --> 00:29:24,270 - I didn't know that being a god was a job. 633 00:29:24,270 --> 00:29:26,370 - And I didn't know that talking to dolls was a job, 634 00:29:26,370 --> 00:29:30,110 but here we fricking are. 635 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,580 - So you're not dead? 636 00:29:33,580 --> 00:29:36,380 - No. I am immoral. 637 00:29:36,380 --> 00:29:38,010 - [chuckles] 638 00:29:38,010 --> 00:29:39,880 - What? - Immortal. 639 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:43,550 - I-- what? I don't know that word in English. 640 00:29:43,550 --> 00:29:45,520 - It means you live forever. 641 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,520 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 642 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,590 - That's a thing? - Yeah. 643 00:29:49,590 --> 00:29:53,430 - I love this country so much! 644 00:29:53,430 --> 00:29:54,630 - But you're not dead. 645 00:29:54,630 --> 00:29:56,570 - No, I am not dead. Do I look dead? 646 00:29:56,570 --> 00:29:59,040 - Well, yes. - Silence! 647 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,670 I love you. - [snorts] 648 00:30:02,670 --> 00:30:04,070 - I have to be honest. 649 00:30:04,070 --> 00:30:07,110 That "I love you" thing just feels wrong to me. 650 00:30:07,110 --> 00:30:08,480 - You're doing great. - OK. 651 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,810 - If you're a Greek god, why are you here on Earth? 652 00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:14,080 - I don't know. 653 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,990 We didn't talk about that. Stick to the script. 654 00:30:17,990 --> 00:30:18,960 - Just--just go with it. - What? 655 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,760 - Just go with it, ad lib. 656 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,490 - OK. 657 00:30:22,490 --> 00:30:24,730 - So, Achimedes, why are you here? 658 00:30:24,730 --> 00:30:28,700 - Uh, to play Powerball. 659 00:30:30,730 --> 00:30:32,700 - What? - Well, you said to ad lib. 660 00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:35,570 The jackpot is huge! 661 00:30:35,570 --> 00:30:39,880 And you know us Greek gods, we love to gamble. 662 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,610 Right? - I don't know. 663 00:30:41,610 --> 00:30:44,710 - Damn it, just go with it! 664 00:30:44,710 --> 00:30:46,650 Quick, what's a good gambling game? 665 00:30:46,650 --> 00:30:48,280 - Uh, craps. 666 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,490 - What? 667 00:30:50,490 --> 00:30:51,620 - Craps. - Are you kidding? 668 00:30:51,620 --> 00:30:52,720 - No. - That's a game? 669 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,560 - Yeah, it's huge in Vegas. 670 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,830 - Gross, OK. 671 00:30:57,830 --> 00:31:02,530 Yes, my favorite thing to do in Las Vegas is to take a crap. 672 00:31:02,530 --> 00:31:04,270 - No. 673 00:31:04,270 --> 00:31:05,770 - What? 674 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,870 What? 675 00:31:09,870 --> 00:31:12,340 "Give a crap"? - No, no. 676 00:31:12,340 --> 00:31:15,040 - I don't give a crap. - No. 677 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,980 "To play craps." - That's worse. 678 00:31:18,980 --> 00:31:23,090 You're like monkeys in a zoo. What the hell, dude? 679 00:31:23,090 --> 00:31:26,020 Hey, by the way, did you see my new friend? 680 00:31:26,020 --> 00:31:27,460 - Your new friend? - No. 681 00:31:27,460 --> 00:31:30,060 Uh, over there in the case. Get her out. 682 00:31:30,060 --> 00:31:32,160 - Over here? - Yeah. 683 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:33,330 - OK. 684 00:31:33,330 --> 00:31:36,000 [crowd whooping] 685 00:31:39,740 --> 00:31:40,770 What--what is this? 686 00:31:40,770 --> 00:31:44,070 - Not what, who. 687 00:31:44,070 --> 00:31:47,610 - Sorry. - You'll hurt her feelings. 688 00:31:47,610 --> 00:31:49,150 It's my little sheep. 689 00:31:49,150 --> 00:31:50,810 - Oh. 690 00:31:50,810 --> 00:31:52,210 A ewe? 691 00:31:52,210 --> 00:31:53,680 - A what? 692 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,080 - A ewe? 693 00:31:55,080 --> 00:32:01,320 - Yes, it's a-me. Are we a-speaking Italian now? 694 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:02,430 - No, she's a ewe. 695 00:32:02,430 --> 00:32:03,760 - No, she's a-not a-me. 696 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:07,160 I a-mean she's a her. 697 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,200 - No, she is a ewe. - She is not a-me. 698 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,740 What is a-wrong with a-you? 699 00:32:12,740 --> 00:32:13,900 - I don't know. 700 00:32:13,900 --> 00:32:15,400 What's wrong with the ewe? - What? 701 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:16,740 - You just said there's something wrong with the ewe. 702 00:32:16,740 --> 00:32:18,870 - No, I didn't. I'm fine! 703 00:32:18,870 --> 00:32:20,110 - Not you, her. 704 00:32:20,110 --> 00:32:21,880 - You? What, now me? 705 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,480 What the fuck? 706 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,780 - [breathes deeply] 707 00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:29,690 A female sheep is a ewe. 708 00:32:29,690 --> 00:32:31,450 - No, she's a-not a-me, 709 00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:35,860 and stop a-making a-fun of the Italianos! 710 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:38,760 - Can I pet your ewe? 711 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,860 - [screams] 712 00:32:43,330 --> 00:32:45,940 Do not touch me! 713 00:32:45,940 --> 00:32:48,040 - Not you, that ewe. 714 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,370 - What? - Your ewe has very nice wool. 715 00:32:50,370 --> 00:32:52,810 - What? 716 00:32:52,810 --> 00:32:56,080 And you are a pervert! 717 00:32:57,610 --> 00:32:59,280 - So otherwise, uh, how's it-- 718 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,750 how's it going being a Greek god? 719 00:33:00,750 --> 00:33:01,780 - Actually, it's not too bad. 720 00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:02,820 - Really? - Yeah. 721 00:33:02,820 --> 00:33:04,150 It's so much fun being famous. 722 00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:05,250 - I bet. - Yeah. 723 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:06,820 Folks now stop me on the street. 724 00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:09,930 They asked me for my autograph, they want to take selfies. 725 00:33:09,930 --> 00:33:11,030 - I would think that looking like you do, 726 00:33:11,030 --> 00:33:12,230 people would be afraid of you. 727 00:33:12,230 --> 00:33:15,200 - Of course they are. [chuckles] 728 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,430 - Oh, so you're saying it's good being Achimedes. 729 00:33:17,430 --> 00:33:20,600 - Oh, no, no. They think I'm Nancy Pelosi. 730 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:38,350 I mean, look at us! The resemblance is uncanny. 731 00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:40,790 - Achimedes. - [screams] 732 00:33:40,790 --> 00:33:43,960 I forgot you were here. 733 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:45,360 I would like to do this act solo. 734 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,160 - Really? - Yes, I do not need you. 735 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,930 - Oh, I think you do, but you can do what-- 736 00:33:48,930 --> 00:33:53,870 [laughter] 737 00:33:59,610 --> 00:34:03,750 - Holy crap. 738 00:34:03,750 --> 00:34:06,980 Did my arm just fall off? 739 00:34:06,980 --> 00:34:08,580 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 740 00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:10,950 - Well, I got to kick it over into place. 741 00:34:10,950 --> 00:34:13,060 - Ow! You stepped on my pinkie. 742 00:34:13,060 --> 00:34:16,030 How the hell did I know that? - I don't know. 743 00:34:16,030 --> 00:34:17,790 I'm gonna have to get down on one knee. 744 00:34:17,790 --> 00:34:19,860 - [gasps] This is so sudden. 745 00:34:19,860 --> 00:34:21,300 - No. 746 00:34:25,470 --> 00:34:26,640 - Put it back. 747 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:28,000 - All right, just hang on a second. 748 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,240 - Come on. 749 00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:33,810 - I don't know how this goes in here. 750 00:34:33,810 --> 00:34:35,980 - That's what she said. 751 00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:41,720 - All right. OK. 752 00:34:41,720 --> 00:34:44,290 So I think the next thing-- 753 00:34:56,270 --> 00:34:58,030 - Son of a bitch, don't drop me. 754 00:34:58,030 --> 00:34:59,440 - I'm trying not to. 755 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,700 - Put 'em back! - I'm--I'm working on it. 756 00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:03,440 Here, let's put these here. 757 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:08,110 - [screams] 758 00:35:08,110 --> 00:35:11,750 That does not go there! - Stop. 759 00:35:11,750 --> 00:35:15,150 - What the hell, dude? 760 00:35:15,150 --> 00:35:20,220 Look like I had a five-fingered wiener. 761 00:35:20,220 --> 00:35:22,990 I don't have that. - No. 762 00:35:22,990 --> 00:35:28,200 - But if I did, my underwear would fit like a glove. 763 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,470 - [chuckles] 764 00:35:32,470 --> 00:35:36,170 - Put it back! - [laughs] I'm working on it. 765 00:35:36,170 --> 00:35:39,340 - And fix my feet, asshole. - OK. 766 00:35:39,340 --> 00:35:40,940 All right, there. All right, there's good. 767 00:35:40,940 --> 00:35:43,810 All right, here we go. 768 00:35:43,810 --> 00:35:46,250 - Son of a bitch! 769 00:35:46,250 --> 00:35:48,480 What am I, a fucking clock? 770 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,060 I don't know if I'm coming or going. 771 00:35:54,060 --> 00:35:55,190 - OK, just sit still. 772 00:35:55,190 --> 00:35:57,290 - Take your hand off my wiener. 773 00:36:07,570 --> 00:36:09,510 What? 774 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:14,980 - You--you don't have a-- 775 00:36:14,980 --> 00:36:17,980 - I know, I know, I know. 776 00:36:17,980 --> 00:36:21,220 It's not there. - OK. 777 00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:24,890 - I lost it in an explos... [grunting] 778 00:36:24,890 --> 00:36:29,990 ...sive game of poker. 779 00:36:29,990 --> 00:36:33,300 - [chuckles softly] You-- 780 00:36:33,300 --> 00:36:38,500 you lost-- - My wiener in a poker game. 781 00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:42,340 You should have seen the other guy. 782 00:36:46,180 --> 00:36:47,550 - So I was talking about Valentine's Day earlier. 783 00:36:47,550 --> 00:36:48,820 Do you do anything special on Valentine's Day? 784 00:36:48,820 --> 00:36:51,460 - I have a romantic dinner with my wives. 785 00:36:51,460 --> 00:36:53,660 - Oh, Greek gods have wives. 786 00:36:53,660 --> 00:36:55,190 - Yes, wives and virgins. 787 00:36:55,190 --> 00:36:59,800 - Mm. What's the difference? 788 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:04,270 - I call it "graduation." 789 00:37:04,270 --> 00:37:07,240 - But don't you have one particular favorite sweetheart? 790 00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:08,840 - Well, it's not easy to say. 791 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,580 - The one you like spending the most time with. 792 00:37:10,580 --> 00:37:12,580 - [gasps] Oh, yes, of course. 793 00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:14,780 She's the greatest of all time. 794 00:37:14,780 --> 00:37:18,380 - Ah, the greatest of all time. She's the G.O.A.T. 795 00:37:26,290 --> 00:37:32,200 - [bleating] Yes. 796 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,400 - But, Achimedes, are there 797 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,100 any actual people that you like? 798 00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:38,040 - Well... 799 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,010 I like you. 800 00:37:41,010 --> 00:37:43,140 - Me? - Yeah. 801 00:37:43,140 --> 00:37:46,680 I think you are my best friend. 802 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,050 - Well, thank you. 803 00:37:48,050 --> 00:37:50,250 - And isn't Valentine's Day when you say that? 804 00:37:50,250 --> 00:37:51,780 - Well, you can say that at any time but 805 00:37:51,780 --> 00:37:54,550 yeah, friends can be recognized on Valentine's Day too. 806 00:37:54,550 --> 00:37:56,590 - OK. And I-- 807 00:37:56,590 --> 00:37:59,890 I kinda need you. - Well, thank you. 808 00:37:59,890 --> 00:38:04,260 - I mean, 'cause otherwise I might fall off of this thing. 809 00:38:04,260 --> 00:38:06,160 - Right. - But it's more than that. 810 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,300 - Thank you. 811 00:38:07,300 --> 00:38:09,300 And I feel the same way. 812 00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:12,970 - [softly] Thanks. 813 00:38:12,970 --> 00:38:16,510 ♪ I can't live ♪ 814 00:38:16,510 --> 00:38:19,780 ♪ If living is without you ♪ 815 00:38:19,780 --> 00:38:22,380 ♪ I can't live ♪ 816 00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:27,290 ♪ I can't give any more ♪ 817 00:38:27,290 --> 00:38:30,890 - [chuckles] 818 00:38:30,890 --> 00:38:32,720 - What are you laughing at? 819 00:38:32,720 --> 00:38:35,630 - Well, sometimes I ad lib myself into a corner, 820 00:38:35,630 --> 00:38:39,630 and don't quite know how to get out of it. 821 00:38:39,630 --> 00:38:41,570 So. 822 00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:46,600 - Yeah, it's a little awkward. 823 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,610 - Little bit. - Yeah. 824 00:38:48,610 --> 00:38:50,740 - Uh, what was that song? - What? 825 00:38:50,740 --> 00:38:52,280 - What was the name of that song? 826 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,350 - I don't--wait. 827 00:38:54,350 --> 00:38:56,180 How the hell do I know the lyrics to the song 828 00:38:56,180 --> 00:38:59,780 and you don't know the name? 829 00:38:59,780 --> 00:39:02,920 - I don't know. I--I-- I know it's from the '70s. 830 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:07,690 - Well, thank you, Casey Kasem. 831 00:39:07,690 --> 00:39:09,160 What are you doing? - What's the name of that song? 832 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:13,200 I got to-- 833 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:14,300 I was right, it was Harry Nilsson. 834 00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:16,500 Uh, yeah, it was "Without You." 835 00:39:16,500 --> 00:39:20,570 - What are you doing? - I just--I don't know. 836 00:39:20,570 --> 00:39:22,810 Play "Without You" by Harry Nilsson. 837 00:39:22,810 --> 00:39:25,110 - You don't have the signal. That is never going to-- 838 00:39:25,110 --> 00:39:28,410 oh, you got-- [song playing] 839 00:39:28,410 --> 00:39:31,450 ♪ ♪ 840 00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:35,520 - ♪ No, I can't forget this evening ♪ 841 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:39,320 ♪ Or your face as you were leaving ♪ 842 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,260 ♪ But I guess that's just-- ♪ 843 00:39:41,260 --> 00:39:43,290 - Oh, look, the phones are coming out. 844 00:39:43,290 --> 00:39:46,500 It's going to be like a rock concert! 845 00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:49,570 - ♪ You always smile, but in your eyes ♪ 846 00:39:49,570 --> 00:39:51,340 - Look at that! - ♪ Your sorrow shows ♪ 847 00:39:51,340 --> 00:39:54,110 - You can do that, that's-- [laughs] 848 00:39:54,110 --> 00:39:57,810 - ♪ No, I can't forget tomorrow ♪ 849 00:39:57,810 --> 00:40:01,910 ♪ When I think of all my sorrows ♪ 850 00:40:01,910 --> 00:40:06,580 ♪ When I had you there but then I let you go ♪ 851 00:40:06,580 --> 00:40:09,450 - I love this. I think I'm going to cry! 852 00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:14,330 - ♪ And now it's only fair that I should let you know ♪ 853 00:40:14,330 --> 00:40:17,300 - OK, we're going to have to sing the chorus. 854 00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:20,300 Are you ready? Here it goes, everybody! 855 00:40:20,300 --> 00:40:24,400 - ♪ Oh ♪ 856 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:28,510 [all singing] ♪ I can't live ♪ 857 00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:31,980 ♪ If living is without you ♪ 858 00:40:31,980 --> 00:40:35,550 ♪ I can't live ♪ 859 00:40:35,550 --> 00:40:39,250 ♪ I can't give any more ♪ 860 00:40:39,250 --> 00:40:43,290 ♪ I can't live ♪ 861 00:40:43,290 --> 00:40:46,520 ♪ If living is without you ♪ 862 00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:50,290 ♪ I can't give ♪ 863 00:40:50,290 --> 00:40:55,030 ♪ I can't give any more ♪ 864 00:40:55,030 --> 00:40:59,440 - Ah, that was fantastic! [cheers and applause] 865 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:00,840 Say goodnight, Achimedes. 866 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,640 - Thanks, Tampa Bay. I love you! 867 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,810 [upbeat rock music] 868 00:41:07,810 --> 00:41:14,350 ♪ ♪ 869 00:41:14,350 --> 00:41:15,620 - You guys have been an awesome audience. 870 00:41:15,620 --> 00:41:17,290 Thanks for coming out. 871 00:41:17,290 --> 00:41:19,260 Happy Valentines Day, everybody. 872 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,320 [upbeat rock music] 873 00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:30,430 ♪ ♪ 874 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,410 [beeping] 875 00:41:47,010 --> 00:41:49,280 - ♪ MTV ♪ 62137

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.