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1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:02,616
Feel like you're
holding back, mate.
2
00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,936
If we're gonna put this online,
we're gonna need more from you.
3
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,936
Like more arrogance
in your face.
4
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:07,937
Yeah.
5
00:00:07,961 --> 00:00:09,936
Yeah, that's it. That's it.
6
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,616
CHEERING
7
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:14,936
FOOTBALL COMMENTARY PLAYS
8
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,456
BOOING
9
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:17,936
'Who's that?'
10
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,936
It's just the morons outside.
They think they're funny,
11
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,936
making my grandma do random
things, then they put it on TikTok.
12
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,136
"Scounsenancausingmayhem"
or something.
13
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,936
'That's your nan? No
way! Are they live now?'
14
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,936
CHEERING
15
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,976
WHOOPING
16
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,936
Did I miss the Ronaldo? Siuuuu!
17
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,616
Hey, great shout with
the shirt off, Pat.
18
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,136
You absolutely smashed it.
Completely silenced the Bernabeu.
19
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,776
Last one now, eh, boys?
20
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,936
She doesn't like you.
21
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,296
'Ooh, what's she gonna do now?'
22
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,936
COMMENTARY CONTINUES
23
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,960
CHEERING
24
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,296
You said you were gonna
get me free bingo tickets.
25
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,936
I did. I got you them
for last Saturday, lad!
26
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:07,936
You know I go to Angie's tango class
on a Saturday. You know that, Reece.
27
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,936
LAUGHING
28
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:10,937
That's heavy, that, lad.
29
00:01:10,961 --> 00:01:13,936
Lingering beef about that quid I
took for going the shop for her!
30
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:14,976
Let me do one. Let me do one.
31
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,936
If I was a professional,
32
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,936
my trademark celebration would
be running into the crowd,
33
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,936
putting me face right
into Reece's ma's arse
34
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:24,936
and while I am in there,
pointing to the heavens.
35
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:25,960
CHEERS
36
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:40,616
Oh, here we go!
37
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,936
Sorry to disturb your lunch break,
but I have sent out an email
38
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,936
because it's National
Diversity and Inclusion Week.
39
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,616
When's it gonna be you
leave us alone week?
40
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,936
I don't care if a Jaffa
Cake identifies as a cake.
41
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,776
Belongs in the biscuit tin.
42
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,936
Mr Meacher and I have
set up a homework task.
43
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,936
You need to pair yourselves up
with someone who is your opposite
44
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,936
and experience their lives
over the next few days.
45
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:04,937
Just sit down, Brimble!
46
00:02:04,961 --> 00:02:09,976
ALL CHANT: Sit down, Brimble.
47
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,136
Sit down, Brimble.
48
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,936
Sit down, Brimble.
Sit down, Brimble.
49
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,936
On Wednesday... you will
both do a presentation
50
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,936
in front of the whole
school. GROANING.
51
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,936
You'll speak about your differences
and what common ground you found.
52
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,936
No-one cares.
53
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,960
Embrace it. Share it.
54
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,936
Celebrate it. BOOING.
55
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:40,976
And Mr Meacher is offering a £500
prize for the winning presentation.
56
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,000
CHEERING
57
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,936
Who would your opposite be?
58
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:52,000
Probably just someone
really unpopular, like
59
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:54,960
like her.
60
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,936
God, you know, I can't be
arsed with these presentations.
61
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,800
I'm just not gonna win, am I?
62
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,936
Oh, yous are so cute together.
63
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,936
Cheers, girl. And
do you know what?
64
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,936
It doesn't matter that
he doesn't speak English
65
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,936
cos I know exactly what he's
saying through his eyes.
66
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:23,456
Like just then, he said,
"I'm going for me lunch."
67
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,936
So, the Brimble just came up to
you and asked to be partners?
68
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,936
Well, she asked us if I was
a practising Muslim first.
69
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,936
I told her "na'am", which
is "yeah" in Arabic.
70
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,936
You won't get away
with that, lad.
71
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,936
Aw, we should be partners,
mate. I could win this.
72
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,936
Diversity loves a gay.
73
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,936
That's one of the most
beautifully tolerant things
74
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:47,960
you've ever said to
me. Thank you. Knob!
75
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,936
I'm fuming. How am I supposed
to show my acting skills
76
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:53,937
when this is who I'm put with?
77
00:03:53,961 --> 00:03:56,936
Smoked someone the other
day. A Manchester United fan?
78
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,936
Oh, yeah, fucking scruff. Divvy.
79
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,936
Oh, Romeo, Romeo.
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
80
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,936
Oh, sorry, he's just
finishing Pro Clubs on FIFA.
81
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,776
Do you know, I
feel for you, girl.
82
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:06,936
Cos you know, me and Ziad,
83
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,936
we were practising our
audition this morning,
84
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,936
and you can proper get in the
zone with the right partner.
85
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,936
Sir, me and Ziad, we're
gonna audition next.
86
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,936
Now, he is from Libya, so
he doesn't speak English,
87
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,776
so we're gonna do, like,
a non-verbal audition.
88
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,960
Well, that's not
gonna work. Why?
89
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,976
Are you racist against people
who don't speak English, sir?
90
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,936
Are you a big, bad
Nazi, are you, sir?
91
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,936
Why do you look so guilty, sir?
92
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:32,937
We... Get your kit off.
93
00:04:32,961 --> 00:04:34,976
Show us you haven't got
a swastika tattoo, sir.
94
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:41,000
Erm... Ziad, in no
way did I intend...
95
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,936
Sir, he doesn't speak English.
96
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,936
Oh, now you're just
a patronising racist!
97
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,296
Come on, Ziad, let's
prove to the racists
98
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:52,960
that we can show Romeo and Juliet's
connection without language.
99
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,136
Sorry.
100
00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,936
♪ Baby, I'm
101
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,936
♪ Dancing in the dark
102
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:08,936
♪ With you between my arms... ♪
103
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:09,960
Down.
104
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:19,960
OK.
105
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:26,960
No.
106
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,160
SHE GROANS
107
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,960
SHE SIGHS
108
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:44,960
SHE MOANS LOUDLY
109
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,936
Thank you.
110
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,936
IN ARABIC:
111
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,960
Lucky bastard!
112
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,936
BUZZING
113
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,616
Dad, I'm bringing
this girl over,
114
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,936
but I kinda told her
I was a proper Muslim
115
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,936
so I could do this
opposites homework with her.
116
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,936
Astaghfirullah! I tell you
never to bring evil white girl
117
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,936
to this house, Mohammed.
118
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,936
I don't care how
serious you are.
119
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,936
Your grandad's been trying to
get you in a mosque for years.
120
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,936
Now some girl comes along, and
you wanna pretend to be Muslim.
121
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:19,937
Are you having a laugh?
122
00:06:19,961 --> 00:06:22,936
All right. Son,
what's this girl like?
123
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,936
That's one word.
124
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,936
And we're celebrating
Eid "al-Hadda".
125
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:30,937
Adha.
126
00:06:30,961 --> 00:06:33,936
Adha. Yeah, Dad,
are you gonna help?
127
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,960
'Yeah. Go on, then.'
128
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,936
So, like, I know you're gay,
129
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,936
but surely if that bird who
played Wonder Woman wanted you,
130
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:44,937
you obviously would?
131
00:06:44,961 --> 00:06:46,976
Oh, yeah, I'd completely abandon
132
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,936
me whole genetic and hormonal
make-up for her. Yeah.
133
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,776
Yeah.
134
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,936
You see, what's good is
you're gonna get to experience
135
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,936
a progressive,
modern-day Muslim family.
136
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:03,936
Yeah. Wow.
137
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,456
They're here. Press play.
138
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,456
Astaghfirullah!
139
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,936
You are a disgrace!
140
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:16,936
I shall never forgive you.
141
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,936
Eid Mubarak.
142
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,936
Apologies for my wife's behaviour.
Er, she is practising seclusion
143
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:28,296
from public observation and had
the audacity to show her feet.
144
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,936
I still see your toeys.
145
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:34,776
Dad, it's Eid, and women
celebrate with us. Remember?
146
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:38,960
You're right. She may
join us for five minutes.
147
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,480
Mum!
148
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,936
NOISE FROM PHONE
149
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,936
I thought you wanted me to teach
you how to be more earnest in life?
150
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,936
I am earnest, me.
151
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,776
Today, I taught Miss Prescott
that if she had an OnlyFans,
152
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,936
I'd defo subscribe.
153
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:03,936
Why, when you've already
made your mind up about me?
154
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:04,937
So just put a slide up saying,
155
00:08:04,961 --> 00:08:07,936
"The difference between me
and Reece in ten years."
156
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,616
Then Photoshop a pic of you
in a suit with a £50 note,
157
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,936
snorting cocaine off Jacob
Rees-Mogg's bum cheeks.
158
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,936
Then me, in a pair of Reebok
Classics, looking chavtastic,
159
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,936
standing outside the job
centre with me 13 kids.
160
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,936
Christopher, I'm home.
161
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,936
What are you doing that for?
162
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,976
You don't seem to care
about doing any work.
163
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,936
Are you even going to uni or is
that a bit too grown-up for you?
164
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,936
Lad, I'm starting a joinery
apprenticeship as soon as.
165
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,936
I'll be earning a decent
wage for a nice house
166
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,936
whilst you're sucking
off the manager of Lidl,
167
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,936
desperate for a job cos you're
50 grand in debt after uni.
168
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,936
Then who'll be the
grown-up one? Christopher!
169
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,936
TURNS THE VOLUME UP What
are you doing that for?
170
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,936
I don't know. It's funny, innit?
171
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,936
I just want her to think
that we're shagging.
172
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,960
Turn it off!
173
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,960
What are you doing?
Get off me top!
174
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,960
Come 'ead!
175
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:05,960
OPERA MUSIC
176
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,960
MOANING FROM PHONE
177
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,776
GROANING FROM PHONE
178
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,616
You boys are certainly
throwing yourselves
179
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,296
into this get to know
each other homework.
180
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,936
Soz, Pat. Chrissy's
a bit of a squealer.
181
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,000
SQUEALS
182
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,936
It is great that you all
eat from the same plate.
183
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,936
It's uniquely
intimate. So bonding.
184
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,936
I have something for you.
185
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,800
SHE LAUGHS
186
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:56,960
Erm...
187
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,936
Mohammed, why is she looking so
confused, huh? Is she not happy?
188
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,136
You said the mahr for the
marriage had been agreed.
189
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,936
Yeah.
190
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,936
It's such an honour to
welcome you to our family,
191
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,936
you know, as my future
daughter-in-law.
192
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:11,976
Sorry, what?
193
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,936
He's always wanted
to control the woman.
194
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,456
You have. You have.
195
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,936
Remember when you were a little
boy? You used to take that Barbie.
196
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:20,937
He'd say, "You're my wife."
197
00:10:20,961 --> 00:10:23,936
"You're my wife, and I'm
gonna hide your passport,
198
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,296
"tie you to a radiator." It
was so cute. It was so funny.
199
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:27,936
You can't say that!
200
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,296
Sorry, I think there's
been a misunderstanding.
201
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,960
I am not here to be Mo's wife.
202
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,976
I-I am here to learn
about your religion.
203
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,936
Apologies.
204
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,296
Would you please excuse him, just
while he prepares the main course?
205
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,936
Mm!
206
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,936
BLEATING
207
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:50,960
What's he playing at?
208
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:57,936
We will now begin our
Eid Qurbani celebration.
209
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,776
The ritual slaughter of a goat.
210
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:07,800
Would our guest of honour...
like to perform the sacrifice?
211
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:13,936
Erm... No, I respect your
religion, but I would rather not.
212
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,776
Well, then, Cutthroat Mo
takes the reins again.
213
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,296
That's what we call him cos when
he was five, he was a natural,
214
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,616
real thirst for blood.
215
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,936
Hm, so murderous.
216
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,936
Mum. Dad, that is no longer
a tradition we follow.
217
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,936
Dad!
218
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,936
Just... Yeah, just give
me a second. Sorry.
219
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,936
LAUGHING, BLEATING
220
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,936
Yous aren't funny!
221
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,960
Cutthroat Mo strikes again.
222
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:59,296
Sir, why are you only seeing
lads and girls audition?
223
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,936
Are you a homophobe
as well as a racist?
224
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:02,976
Romeo and Ricardo for the win.
225
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,936
Ted makes a great point,
226
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,936
and we need to be more inclusive
with the languages for Ziad.
227
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,936
I've popped an Arabic translation
I found in the WhatsApp group.
228
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,480
Maybe Mo and Ziad would
like to audition as a pair?
229
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,960
Erm... Yeah. Sound.
230
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:27,960
IN ARABIC:
231
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,960
Yeah.
232
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
233
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,936
Classic Shakespeare.
234
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:38,000
Conflict... to resolution.
Fantastic, boys.
235
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:44,960
Oh, there you are, mate.
Listen, I really need your help.
236
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,936
Reckon you've got any pictures
of Pat when she was younger?
237
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:52,456
Cos I'm seeing hallmarks
of a decent bum, you know.
238
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:53,936
I'm only messing.
239
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,776
Though if you had any, I'd probably
wanna look out of curiosity.
240
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,936
But anyway, you know Reece's ma?
241
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,936
That really shy
and retiring woman?
242
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,936
No, she didn't.
243
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:07,936
Mate, swear down. We were in the
canteen, brought me over Alphabites,
244
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,936
gave me a wink and I looked
at them and I realised,
245
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:14,936
if I moved them round, it
spelt out, "I want you, Con."
246
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,936
I had to use the
"O" more than once,
247
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,936
but that's just a
mistake on her part.
248
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,936
That wasn't a coincidence. There's
a lot of things that could spell.
249
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,936
No, mate, secret code.
250
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:25,976
SIGHS
251
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,936
Proper torn now,
lad. Cos it's banter.
252
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,960
But it's not banter
because... I wanna do it.
253
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,640
Just, Reece is me mate.
254
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:40,936
You should go for it.
255
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,936
Well, if this week at school
has taught us anything,
256
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,936
it's to be your authentic self,
and people should accept that.
257
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:51,480
Yeah. And my authentic self wants
his head right up Jodie's arse.
258
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,640
Nice one, lad.
I'll see you later.
259
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,976
Aye, pilgrim, lips that
they must use in prayer.
260
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:08,936
Oh, then, dear saint, let
lips do what hands do.
261
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,936
Saints do not move, though
grant for prayers' sake.
262
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,960
Then move not while my
prayer's effect I take.
263
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:21,936
Nah, no, I'm not havin' this,
me. Right in me face like that.
264
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:26,160
I'm back tomorrow. You're
dead, you sweaty lizard.
265
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,936
Gold star English student.
266
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:36,616
HE SPEAKS ENGLISH WORDS SLOWLY
267
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,936
Look...
268
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,936
Oh, my God, he's
still pretending.
269
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,936
And here's me telling Aims
we don't need to vet you
270
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:43,937
cos I know you'll pass.
271
00:15:43,961 --> 00:15:45,936
I vetted you anyway
because she's my mate,
272
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,936
and something
about you is dodgy.
273
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:48,937
In a non-racist way.
274
00:15:48,961 --> 00:15:52,776
We did the usual background check of
all your socials for any scandals,
275
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,936
looking at your internet
history to make sure
276
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,936
you're not a perv
and no naughty shoes.
277
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,776
And you only just passed
that one, by the way.
278
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:00,976
You've been added, lad.
279
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,936
Yeah, you have. So,
don't you ever speak
280
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,960
to either of us
again in English...
281
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,936
Mia-Louise!
282
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:11,937
SPEAKS ARABIC
283
00:16:11,961 --> 00:16:13,960
Come back.
284
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,000
So, what was Reece
like as a kid?
285
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:24,960
He struggled.
286
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:30,616
Wasn't his fault. He
had a lot to deal with.
287
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,936
We didn't have any heating.
288
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:37,776
Sometimes, the only food we
could afford was 9p Netto beans.
289
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:38,936
I'm sorry.
290
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,936
Sometimes, I had to send him
out into the street to steal
291
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:47,936
other people's hubcaps and...
when we were really desperate...
292
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,136
I had to shove him through
people's cat flaps,
293
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,936
to break into their houses.
He was only four years old.
294
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,936
HE SIGHS
295
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,960
Well, I see now why
he is the way he is.
296
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,616
I'm winding you up, soft arse.
297
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,936
Never mind what you
see on the telly.
298
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,960
We're not all sitting round,
eating crack out of a bin bag.
299
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,960
Look, I suppose you can say
300
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,936
that it's only ever
been me and him.
301
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:26,960
So, I'm very proud... of
the man that he's becoming.
302
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,936
Oi, oi, here he is.
Here's that tenner, son.
303
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,936
Ah! Nice one, Mum.
304
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:35,937
Oh, so you can bend down?
305
00:17:35,961 --> 00:17:38,936
Well, in that case, you can go
and pick up your dirty plate
306
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,936
and put it in the
dishwasher, lazy arse.
307
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,936
Right, I'm off to work.
Give us that tenner back.
308
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:49,960
Nice one. G'wed. See you
later. Love you. Love you.
309
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,640
I think it's really great you're
so committed to your schoolwork.
310
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,960
Bet your mum would have
been dead proud of you.
311
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,976
Hey, Connor came onto
me ma last night.
312
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,936
Nah, it's not funny, lad. He
told me you told him to do it.
313
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:12,937
He actually did it?
314
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:16,456
What did you say
that to him for?
315
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,936
Nah, banter's funny. But
nobody treats me ma like that.
316
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,936
No, you should know better.
317
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,936
You're lucky if I even do
this presentation later.
318
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,936
Though I suppose we
can tell everyone
319
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,960
how we're so different, then, cos
one of us is proper disrespectful.
320
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,960
APPLAUSE
321
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:40,937
Good afternoon to you all.
322
00:18:40,961 --> 00:18:44,976
Here at Allsbrooke, we are proud
to promote a school culture
323
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,936
that values diversity.
324
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,936
So, without further ado,
325
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,936
first up, we have
Connor and Ted.
326
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,936
It's mad cos...
327
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,936
CHUCKLING
328
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,936
I love girls' arses,
329
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,936
and he loves lads'
arses, don't you?
330
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,160
Kieran and Lewis.
331
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:10,936
Our main differences
are, he benches 270...
332
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,136
I bench 275.
333
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,936
And if you look, they're
not really that different.
334
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:20,936
Mine and Kieran's common ground is
we both generally love a good scrap.
335
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:25,136
We'll batter anyone who wants it
and batter them again if needs be.
336
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,936
Just slightly
different in shape.
337
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,936
So, maybe me and Ted aren't
that different, either.
338
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,776
HE SOBS
339
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,936
APPLAUSE
340
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:40,616
But we're most similar...
cos we're both humans,
341
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,936
and humans make mistakes.
342
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:48,960
I bet any one of them sound lads
there on that picture made mistakes.
343
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,136
Will you?
344
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,456
Is that a pebble?
345
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,936
Lewis, are you messing?
346
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,936
It's not about the mistake.
347
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,936
I want someone that'll push
me out of me comfort zone.
348
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:03,936
She's had you off!
349
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:04,937
You're not me Romeo.
350
00:20:04,961 --> 00:20:09,136
LAUGHTER
351
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:10,936
Fuck off!
352
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,936
CHANTING
353
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,296
I asked Mo's parents to
tell me a Muslim prayer.
354
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,936
What?
355
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,936
So, if you could please all
join me in a call to Salah.
356
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,960
No, no...
357
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:34,136
♪ Sal-ah, la-la-la-la. ♪
358
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,936
Is this real?
359
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,456
I can't believe he
said that to her.
360
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:44,936
If he's good enough for you...
he's good enough for me.
361
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,616
AUDIENCE: ♪ Sitting in a
mosque That's where I wanna be
362
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:54,640
♪ La-la-la-la-la
363
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:59,936
♪ If he's good enough for you
He's good enough for me. ♪
364
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:03,000
OK. OK...
365
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,936
OK.
366
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:12,960
And now for the final pairing,
we have Reece and Christopher.
367
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,976
There were many differences I
experienced when being with Reece,
368
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,136
but in truth, I started
to understand them.
369
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:26,936
I now understand that a family
can abuse each other non-stop
370
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,936
but love each other very much.
371
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:33,616
And I think love was our common
ground, a love for our mums.
372
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,936
LAUGHTER
373
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,936
You all laugh, but you
love your parents, too.
374
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,936
It's just Reece has got
the balls to show it.
375
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,960
He always sticks up for her,
and he always defends her.
376
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,936
I remember a time I
was out with my mum,
377
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:54,936
and... these idiots my
age were... harassing her,
378
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,936
saying idiotic things about her,
379
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,960
and I did nothing.
380
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,936
So, I guess our biggest
common ground was
381
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,776
our fondness for our mums.
382
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,960
I just wish I'd shown
my fondness more.
383
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,960
Show your loved ones you
care... before it's too late.
384
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:22,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
385
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,960
I think we have our winners.
386
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,296
Lad, we're loaded!
387
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,960
Do you reckon we try and get
tickets for the Liverpool game?
388
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,936
Good afternoon, everyone.
389
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,936
This... is the moment
we've all been waiting for,
390
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:55,936
the moment we announce the
cast of the school play.
391
00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,296
You see here at Allsbrooke,
character is destiny,
392
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:04,936
and playing the characters
of Romeo and Juliet are...
393
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,936
Who-a-a-a-a!
394
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,960
Aimee and Christopher. CHEERING.
395
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,960
But soft, what light through
yonder window breaks?
396
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:34,776
It is the east. And
Mia-Louise is the sun.
397
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,296
Do one, you liar.
398
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,456
Look, when we first met, you
assumed I didn't speak English,
399
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:41,936
and you seemed to
like that about me,
400
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,000
so I played along because...
cos you are so beautiful.
401
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,936
I-I wanted to tell
you the truth,
402
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,936
but you kept talking about
our eyes communicating.
403
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,936
I was afraid you'd think
our connection wasn't real.
404
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:58,936
But it is. Because it's
not about our mouths.
405
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,960
It's not even about our eyes.
406
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,960
It's about our hearts.
407
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,800
Well, just give me a sec, then.
408
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:17,960
PHONE PINGS
409
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,960
Pass the ball,
lad. KNOCK ON DOOR.
410
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,456
I found these on
the kitchen table.
411
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,936
It's two tickets for
Friday off Mo's ma.
412
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,456
You can take one of your bessies
from Angie's tango class.
413
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,936
I wanna squash this beef, Pat.
414
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,936
I'm sick of always
looking over me shoulder.
415
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,936
Oh, get in! 'What a goal!'
416
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,936
Siuuu!
417
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,960
Subtitles by
accessibility@itv.com.
418
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,960
Siuuu!
419
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,960
Siuuu!
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