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1
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'No pieces of the body
have been found,
2
00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:22,186
'and the authorities say,
"sea monsters aren't real."
3
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:28,313
Ahoy! And salutations!
4
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,903
My name is captain seafield.
5
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:35,149
"The authorities say,
"sea monsters aren't real.
6
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:38,698
"Or for that matter, lake monsters."
7
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,411
One month ago,
8
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,453
me and a fellow ship captain of mine
9
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:48,670
ventured out on a morning fishing trip
upon the great tides of lake Michigan.
10
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:53,584
As we cast our lines,
suddenly from out of nowhere,
11
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,963
a hellish sea monster crept up
from the shallow depths,
12
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,056
boarded our vessel,
13
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,346
and killed my associate.
14
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,554
It then dragged him underwater
15
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:08,524
and vanished into the murky abyss.
16
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,863
The victim here was my father.
17
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,859
"The authorities say,
"sea monsters aren't real.
18
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,532
"Or for that matter, lake monsters."
19
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:24,077
And so, I have hired
a group of specialists
20
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:27,701
to help me locate the beast
and murder it.
21
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:43,058
'Sean shaughnessy, weapons expert.
22
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,432
'Nedge Pepsi, sonar individual.'
23
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:04,075
'And dick Flynn, former officer
at the nautical athletes adventure yunit.
24
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,040
'Sometimes referred to
asthe " Navy"™
25
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,409
and there it is!
26
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,958
The team of the century!
27
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,506
- Sean shaughnessy.
- How big is this monster?
28
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,303
Excellent question.
29
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,175
This is a lion.
30
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,804
This is a tiger.
31
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,723
It's as big as a lion.
32
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,402
What does it look like?
33
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,782
Monstrous.
34
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,329
Right?
35
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:51,998
Do we have a boat?
36
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,041
It's pronounced "pontoon".
37
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,257
But we shan't be needing it
for anything other than general seafaring
38
00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:01,595
as our hunt will be boat-less,
for, you see, our monster resides...
39
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,181
- Here.
- Is that 7?
40
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,330
- Lake Michigan.
- Yeah, we know it's lake Michigan.
41
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,764
It's the name of the movie.
42
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:17,899
Yes, but more precisely it lives here,
off the shore of my lighthouse island.
43
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,523
I tell you, we weren't one fathom
in the water when the beast slew my father.
44
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:25,403
Wait, I thought you said he was thrown
overboard on a fishing trip.
45
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,622
Well, he was, by the beast.
46
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:33,744
And that is precisely why we must find
and kill the lake Michigan monster!
47
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:39,125
Right. But you said you weren't one fathom
out on the lake before the monster struck?
48
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,297
- Well, we weren't.
- One fathom?
49
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:44,547
You were one fathom
off the shore for a fishing trip?
50
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,345
- Yes!
- You know how long a fathom is?
51
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,103
It's six feet
52
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,276
bah!
53
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:08,033
F.a.t.h.o.m.: Facultative aquatic taffralil
haliographic opinion measurement.
54
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,496
I'm not sure that's right.
55
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,207
- And then cast your fishing lines?
- What else is in that podium?
56
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,170
Well, maybe that's precisely
what happened!
57
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,542
Now why the hell is that
so hard to grasp? Oh, god...
58
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,545
Hey, what's going on here?
Seafield!
59
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,673
For the love of god,
stop using my classroom!
60
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,674
Expelled means expelled!
61
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:11,008
Lake Michigan...
This is where it all happens.
62
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,856
Here's the deal.
63
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,566
This is the beach. There's the water.
64
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:32,036
Here we are right now. Nedge has set up
the sonar station over there.
65
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,827
When nedge flips the switch,
Sean shaughnessy will give dick
66
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,575
his monster-killing weapon of choice.
67
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,828
Then, dick, you're going to walk
ten paces to the kayak and get in,
68
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:42,957
row yourself out to sea, dive in,
and begin your search.
69
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,004
Back on land, Sean shaughnessy
will be lookout,
70
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:48,469
while nedge and I watch for any blips
on the sonar 2000.
71
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:52,762
It shall be known as:
Operation annihilation!
72
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:34,016
One. Two. Three.
73
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,386
Four. Five. Six.
74
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,854
Seven. Eight...
75
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,149
Nine.
76
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,484
Uh, ten!
77
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:01,959
He's in.
78
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:29,025
Has he found anything?
79
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,030
Negative.
80
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,159
- Go give him a hand, Sean shaughnessy.
- Right.
81
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,256
That's my weapons expert.
82
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:09,528
So, seafield, what's it like
being a ship captain?
83
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,363
- Seafield.
- What?
84
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,531
How do you like being a ship captain?
85
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,404
I'm not a ship captain.
86
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,702
What?
I thought that was kind of your thing.
87
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,416
- I hope dick's okay.
- Did you get it?
88
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,210
Nope. False alarm.
89
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,347
You almost shot me!
90
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,774
- There's nothing down there, seafield.
- Damn. Well, you all tried your best.
91
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,893
Let's regroup at my place
and drink bourbon.
92
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,066
Nedge, go wake up Sean shaughnessy.
93
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:43,198
You know, I really thought that plan
would work. Oh, well, a marginal setback.
94
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:46,450
- So what's our next plan of attack?
- Ha-ha! Attack.
95
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,502
Spoken like a true weapons expert.
96
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:55,250
That's why I got you, Sean shaughnessy.
Violence is always on your mind.
97
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,251
Much like that of the creature's.
98
00:09:57,388 --> 00:10:01,802
With a gun or a knife
we must end this monster's life.
99
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,730
So what's our next plan of attack?
100
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:13,101
- Who wants fish sticks?
- Oh, here we go!
101
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,728
Martha, you spoil us!
102
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,857
Now, now, even the team of the century
has to eat once in a while.
103
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,904
- Thank you.
- She's right, you know.
104
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:25,406
Food gives us energy,
and energy is what, Sean shaughnessy?
105
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,282
Uh, energy is...
106
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,410
- A good thing!
- Energy is a good thing, idiot.
107
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,333
Martha, did you happen
to bring the ketchup?
108
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,633
Martha! She knows me too well.
109
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:41,675
Okay, now you all enjoy.
The plates and napkins are here in the bar.
110
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,423
Thank you, thank you.
111
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,412
And don't forget,
tomorrow you've got that field trip.
112
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:48,769
- Alright. Alright, Martha.
- Thank you.
113
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,013
Martha.
114
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,765
My wife.
115
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,942
Ah, very nice.
116
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,983
- Nedge?
- Oh, yeah?
117
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,572
- Come on.
- What?
118
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,487
I et's hear it.
119
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,402
- Ah...
- Uh...
120
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,404
Oh! Uh...
121
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,533
- To the team of the century!
- Ah, very nice.
122
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,837
Not bad.
123
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,206
- Oh!
- Urgh!
124
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,253
Shit, that's bad!
125
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:21,423
- Urgh! No one else try that!
- No one would do that.
126
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,171
Urgh! I need ketchup!
127
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:26,391
So, here's the new deal.
128
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,555
This is the beach again.
There's the water again.
129
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,098
Here we are right now again.
130
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,271
Nedge has set up the sonar station
over there again.
131
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,810
When nedge flips the switch again,
132
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,839
Sean shaughnessy will give dick
his monster-killing weapon of choice again.
133
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,633
Then, dick, you're going to walk
ten paces to the kayak and get in again,
134
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:42,737
row yourself out to the sea again,
dive in again, and begin your search again.
135
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,597
Back on land, Sean shaughnessy
will be lookout again,
136
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,613
while nedge and I watch for any blips
on the sonar 2000 again.
137
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:53,210
Except this time, it shall be known as:
Operation nauty lady.
138
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,293
- Why, though?
- Why what?
139
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:02,920
I mean, I like the name and everything,
I think it's really clever.
140
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,672
But what does it have to do
with anything?
141
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,972
Whoa, hey! Where are my clothes?
142
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:20,320
- You must be naked for the nauty lady!
- What the hell does that mean?
143
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:23,235
Last night I finished my fish sticks
and I got to thinking.
144
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,654
What if this monster is a lady?
145
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:29,700
Well, then, naturally she'd be attracted
to a naked swimming man.
146
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,788
- Naturally.
- I didn't sign up for this!
147
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:35,206
- Where are my clothes?
- Oh, and by the way...
148
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:39,001
I forgot to hand out these last night.
149
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:42,250
Your payment for all your hard work.
150
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,343
Nedge Pepsi.
151
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,713
Sean shaughnessy.
152
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,807
And... Mr. dick Flynn.
153
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:03,317
You know what, seafield? I actually
think this is a really good plan.
154
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,440
- Right?
- The monster will see me naked.
155
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,536
- It'll wanna get on top of me!
- I think so, too.
156
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,820
- And that's when I'll stab it in its neck.
- That's the spirit, dick!
157
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:14,040
Now, everyone in position!
158
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,979
I et's not shoot at me this time.
159
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,190
I take my orders from the captain.
160
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,562
Now I know why they call him dick.
161
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,235
Why?
162
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:49,074
Because... he has a penis.
163
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,826
Seven.
164
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,289
Eight.
165
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:06,380
Nine. Ten.
166
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,635
- So brave.
- Mm-hmm_..
167
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:19,684
He's in.
168
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,616
- Would you date him?
- Uh...
169
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,406
I don't really date teammates.
170
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,449
I don't date at all
because I'm a married man.
171
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,369
It's one of those things you can't be doing
once you're married.
172
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,783
Of course, I can still remember
me and Martha's first date
173
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:43,955
- hey, let's keep an eye on the sonar.
- Haunted beer garden.
174
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,469
I got something!
175
00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:00,893
As do we, old chap! Good job, nedge!
176
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:13,117
- Wow, this thing's actually pretty big.
- Monster's aren't small, nedge.
177
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,830
- Except for centipedes.
- Except for centipedes. This is true.
178
00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,449
Although small,
they are quite monstrous, nevertheless.
179
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,701
- All those legs.
- All those legs are right.
180
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,920
It's encircling dick!
181
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,375
Sean shaughnessy,
prepare to lock and load!
182
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,546
Right!
183
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,147
Alright, Sean shaughnessy,
get in there and...
184
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,176
Not seeing anything, seafield.
185
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,992
Dick!
186
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,450
Dick!
187
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:24,355
Alright, Sean shaughnessy, get in there!
Kill the monster! Kill it!
188
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,440
Damn it, Sean shaughnessy!
189
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,981
Alright, nedge, you're up!
190
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:31,399
I don't know, I'm really more
of a sonar individual.
191
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:50,422
Dick! Dick!
Thank Poseidon you're alright. He lives!
192
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,166
- Where are my clothes?
- Nedge?
193
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:56,171
- So, did you kill it?
- Did I kill it? No!
194
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,844
- Then how are you possibly still alive?
- I dunno.
195
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:02,184
One minute he had me all wrapped up
and then the next he was gone.
196
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,644
Dear god!
197
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:07,265
- Did you get a good look at it?
- No. Felt slimy.
198
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:10,484
- You owe me a family heirloom.
- Yes, I do.
199
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,319
I'll give you the money.
200
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,279
Thank you, seafield.
201
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,368
Hey, guys, sorry!
202
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,704
Sorry, my friend's terrible at volleyball.
203
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,289
Get out of here, girlie!
204
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,173
I didn't believe him.
205
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,963
None of us did.
206
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:38,463
Hmm...
A sea monster? Ridiculous.
207
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,887
But he was right.
That eccentric bastard was right.
208
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:52,648
- Wow.
- That big? Wow.
209
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:59,776
So this huge monster has you
in its grasp and then it just lets you go.
210
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,574
- Not a scratch.
- I wonder why.
211
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,823
- Terrifying nevertheless.
- Ah.
212
00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:10,245
By the way,
seafield, not a real sea captain.
213
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,417
- Wait, seriously?
- No, I am not!
214
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,541
There, happy, nedge?
I'm docking your pay.
215
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,588
- Where did you come from?
- Phoenix
216
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,427
uh... no, just now.
217
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:20,387
Trapdoor. It's my house, nedge.
218
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,222
This is some really good bourbon.
219
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,388
Isn't it? Ashcroft brought me back
a barrel from Glasgow.
220
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,386
- Scotland?
- Kentucky.
221
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,605
It's bourbon, after all.
222
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:34,854
- Not... a moor.
- Who's ashcroft?
223
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:37,105
I be ashcroft!
224
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,234
I know. Tell them.
225
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,031
I be ashcroft!
226
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,409
So, you're searching
for the old man, eh?
227
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,329
That's right, and this is my band
of rowdy cutthroats,
228
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,044
dick, nedge, and Sean shaughnessy.
229
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,753
Well, I suppose
you could've done worse.
230
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:04,887
- You have a fine taste in whiskey, sir!
- It's ruined me life!
231
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,182
- Hey, what are we painting here?
- It's a freaking landscape.
232
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,481
Oh, yeah. I can see it.
233
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,816
So, how have you been
hunting this monster?
234
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,562
Come aboard!
235
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,568
Blades.
236
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,861
Guns.
237
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:25,828
- Sonar 2000.
- Sonar? Too good for the old ways, eh?
238
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,242
Ashcroft,
you know I don't have intuition.
239
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,788
- He knows that.
- You don't use sonar of any kind?
240
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,627
Don't even know what it is,
to tell you the truth.
241
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:37,169
Wait. You don't use...
How old are you?
242
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:43,762
Thirty.
243
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:51,521
After I graduated high school in 2005,
244
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:54,561
I went into the longshoreman business
to join my father.
245
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:59,939
On my first day out, he said,
"son! Sonar is for pussies!"
246
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:03,232
- And that was the end of it.
- He never said that.
247
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:06,236
- That was the end of it!
- He never said that.
248
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:09,239
Okay, fine. He never said that.
249
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,081
Anyways, the point is,
250
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,247
if you're going to catch that monster,
you're going to have to go at night.
251
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,463
- Why at night?
- Because monsters come out at night.
252
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,708
- Ah, yes.
- And you're gonna need one of these!
253
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:25,589
Hook your bait with this hook
and your monster is as good as hooked.
254
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,181
I know I'm hooked.
255
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:28,890
- Me, too.
- Me, three.
256
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,600
Gimme that!
257
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:07,681
J and that's when I said goodbye... j
258
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,140
- yow!
- Oh, mercy!
259
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,305
- Yow!
- Wonderful!
260
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:18,516
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, wow. Absolutely terrific.
261
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:22,691
- Dick, you're a real talent.
- Ah. I know.
262
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,529
- Are you in a band?
- Used to be.
263
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,400
- Was the leader of the Navy concert band.
- Like the director?
264
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:31,074
The commanding officer.
So, yeah, the music director.
265
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,414
Youngest in history, in fact.
266
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,830
That's quite impressive, dick.
I had no idea.
267
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:40,420
It was a lot of fun. Traveling the world,
doing a lot of shows.
268
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:43,211
Did some NFL games,
saw the pyramids in Egypt.
269
00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:45,676
- That's awesome.
- Yeah.
270
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:48,171
- What made you stop?
- Oh, I was discharged.
271
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:50,965
Oh... okay.
272
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,468
Yeah
273
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,601
honorably, no doubt.
274
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:02,810
Uh...
275
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:06,571
No, not honorably.
276
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:12,240
You see, I had lots of...
Sexual misconduct
277
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:15,991
with the woodwind
and percussion sections.
278
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:21,413
I also shot the timpani player
in a very strange sequence of events.
279
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:30,796
- So, dishonorable.
- Look, guy's a character.
280
00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:55,363
Battle stations!
281
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,460
Wait for it. __
282
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,755
Now!
283
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:15,349
- 1, 2, 3!
- Heavel
284
00:23:15,477 --> 00:23:17,058
here it comes!
285
00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:19,849
Sean shaughnessy!
286
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,813
Sean shaughnessy!
287
00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:25,233
Your time is up, monster!
288
00:23:35,289 --> 00:23:36,699
What?
289
00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,703
Huh
290
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,832
hmm
291
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,670
it's blank.
292
00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:53,879
Oh. Yes, of course.
293
00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:04,394
"Be seeing you...
294
00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:11,822
"In your... dreams."
295
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,277
Sean shaughnessy!
296
00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:48,248
Does he not have
his eyebrow make-up on?
297
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,211
Sean shaughnessy!
298
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,918
- I got it!
- Is that an egg?
299
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:57,591
I got the egg!
300
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:04,593
Sean shaughnessy!
I got it! I got it!
301
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:07,221
I got the egg! Hee-hee!
302
00:26:10,944 --> 00:26:13,902
Now! Shoot it, Sean shaughnessy!
Shoot the egg!
303
00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:15,612
Is that the monster's egg?
304
00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:18,323
Yes. I saw some stuff
while I was sleeping.
305
00:26:18,452 --> 00:26:19,732
- Like a dream.
- That's the one.
306
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:22,114
Where's your eyebrow make-up?
307
00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:26,533
I don't know what you're talking about!
308
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:28,249
Oh, no, you don't!
309
00:26:30,297 --> 00:26:35,041
Kill it! Kill it, Sean shaughnessy!
Just like its mama killed my daddy!
310
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:07,281
Jesus!
311
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:19,797
Chug, chug, chug, chug...
312
00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,596
Beer!
313
00:27:25,853 --> 00:27:27,559
Hurray!
314
00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:29,519
But did we have to kill its baby?
315
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,640
Blood for blood, nedge.
It kills my father, we shoot its egg.
316
00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:34,937
- Remind you of anything?
- Hmm... no.
317
00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:36,480
- Iwo jima.
- How?
318
00:27:36,613 --> 00:27:38,194
Ooh, the candy shop!
319
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:41,611
- So... nedge.
- Yes?
320
00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:46,112
- What is your full name?
- Nedge Pepsi.
321
00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:50,537
No. No, I mean like
what is nedge short for?
322
00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:53,957
Nedgecraft.
323
00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:55,750
"Nedgecraft"?
324
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:58,799
- It's Polish.
- No, it's not.
325
00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:02,465
Your full name is "nedgecraft Pepsi"?
326
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:04,179
Junior.
327
00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:07,095
Damn candy store is closed!
Bunch of pedophiles!
328
00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:09,684
Whoa! Hey, uh...
So what's our next plan, boss?
329
00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:11,974
Ah! The man knows a question
but not the answer.
330
00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:13,972
That's why I asked.
331
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:30,281
Beach, water, sonar station.
332
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:33,284
- Dick will carry the egg carcass...
- Fully clothed.
333
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:36,036
Fine. But not your clothes.
Everyone switch clothes.
334
00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:38,038
In order to draw the sea hag out,
335
00:28:38,175 --> 00:28:40,757
dick will toss the eggshells
one fathom into the sea.
336
00:28:40,886 --> 00:28:42,592
The scent will be intoxicating.
337
00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:45,087
The monster maiden
won't be able to resist.
338
00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:48,136
- She must be worried sick.
- Nedge let's hear it.
339
00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:49,474
Hear what?
340
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:53,221
The name of the operation, of course.
Your last one was so clever.
341
00:28:53,357 --> 00:28:57,225
- How about operation eggsecution?
- Ah!
342
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,522
No, no, wait, that's terrible.
But listen to this...
343
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:02,738
Operation "eggscuse me, time to die!"
344
00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:05,653
And be sure to say that
when you shoot it in the brain.
345
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,016
What is he doing?
346
00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:17,016
I don't know.
347
00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:27,273
Dick, I don't pay you
to flirt with inanimate objects!
348
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:30,446
I got a guy for that.
Name's Howard.
349
00:30:44,051 --> 00:30:46,713
- Eagle's landed.
- Ah! Excellent!
350
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:50,758
Now to play my favorite game
in the whole wide world.
351
00:30:50,891 --> 00:30:52,722
- Ah, the waiting game.
- Checkers!
352
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:54,682
Is everything alright?
353
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,014
Dick?
354
00:30:57,147 --> 00:30:59,684
- So that's why you brought that along.
- Yes.
355
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:03,274
Why else would I bring checkers along
if not to play checkers?
356
00:31:03,403 --> 00:31:06,065
I think the eggshells
were just talking to me.
357
00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:08,154
They were talking to you?
358
00:31:09,159 --> 00:31:13,869
They were communicating. Like we had
some sort of strange connection.
359
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:18,494
What possible reason could there be
360
00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:21,460
for bringing a game such as this
to the beach
361
00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:24,455
without the intent to play it
amongst friends?
362
00:31:25,509 --> 00:31:27,124
I don't know.
363
00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,549
I'm docking your pay.
364
00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:35,807
Seafield, it's here.
365
00:31:40,816 --> 00:31:42,727
Where? Off the starboard?
366
00:31:42,859 --> 00:31:44,645
No, it's headed toward the egg!
367
00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:48,362
Ah! Alright, Sean shaughnessy.
Time to make your country proud.
368
00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:51,197
It's closing in!
369
00:31:58,333 --> 00:31:59,789
Bingo!
370
00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:03,210
- This one's for you, daddy!
- Daddy?
371
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:23,605
Aargh!
372
00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:24,733
Sean!
373
00:33:37,557 --> 00:33:41,300
Sean shaughnessy was a better man
than most of our team.
374
00:33:42,479 --> 00:33:46,973
I'll never forget the day
I recruited him... Tuesday.
375
00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:49,895
He was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed
and ready to get to work.
376
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:54,738
He said, "seafield, I am your sword,
I am your shield,
377
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:57,403
"I am your weapons expert."
378
00:33:57,536 --> 00:34:00,073
Sean said that?
379
00:34:00,205 --> 00:34:01,741
He did.
380
00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:06,983
That was only the second time
anyone had ever said that to me.
381
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:10,162
Well, I'll always remember
how brave he was.
382
00:34:10,298 --> 00:34:12,789
Whether charging into the lake
to fight the monster
383
00:34:12,926 --> 00:34:16,794
or discharging a firearm
on a public beach,
384
00:34:16,930 --> 00:34:19,012
Sean didn't care, he was brave.
385
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:21,347
I don't have any fond memories of Sean.
386
00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:25,435
Mostly because I'm pretty sure
he shot and killed my unborn child.
387
00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:28,271
- You know, I had a sneaking suspicion.
- Wait, what?
388
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,439
- That egg was mine, wasn't it?
- Well... not yours.
389
00:34:32,571 --> 00:34:37,031
It's the monster's egg, dick.
But yes! You made it happen.
390
00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:39,695
I had a dream regarding it.
391
00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:42,410
Oh, what? Are you upset?
392
00:34:42,539 --> 00:34:45,246
It was a monster baby!
393
00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:48,867
You should've at least told me before
you let Sean shoot the shit out of it!
394
00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:50,619
What does it even matter?
395
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,588
Were you really going
to raise a grotesque hell spawn?
396
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,592
- In this economy?
- I'm confused.
397
00:34:57,721 --> 00:34:59,427
It wasn't your call to make, seafield!
398
00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:05,846
You're right!
399
00:35:05,979 --> 00:35:10,143
Ooh! We should've constructed
a large nest for it.
400
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:13,767
Have papa dick nurture the egg
day and night
401
00:35:13,903 --> 00:35:16,360
for several weeks under his loins,
402
00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:19,981
until one day the egg
decides to hatch
403
00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:22,359
and bite our fucking heads off!
404
00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:25,282
- I would make a great dad!
- Wait, that's it...
405
00:35:25,415 --> 00:35:28,452
It must've happened during operation
nauty lady when dick was naked.
406
00:35:28,585 --> 00:35:32,703
The monster seized him, pulled him
underwater, and somehow extracted his...
407
00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:36,627
Yes, yes, very good, nedge. We don't have
to go into graphic detail, you sick weirdo.
408
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:41,595
I'm done with you, seafield.
Your father, he can burn in hell!
409
00:35:41,723 --> 00:35:45,682
Oh, why don't you go shoot a timpani
player, you big treasonous seaman?
410
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:49,394
Hey! What are you doing here?
You can't be digging in a cemetery!
411
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:50,932
That's vandalism!
412
00:35:51,066 --> 00:35:54,274
Seafield, you're vandals and felons!
I'm calling the cops!
413
00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:56,609
- Let's go, let's get outta here.
- Get back here!
414
00:35:56,738 --> 00:35:59,354
'Uh, mission failed.
415
00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:02,824
'Failed. Failed. Failed!
416
00:36:02,952 --> 00:36:05,443
Oh, god! Why is this so hard?
417
00:36:10,710 --> 00:36:13,998
What really happened that day, seafield?
418
00:36:14,798 --> 00:36:17,505
What day? There are many days.
419
00:36:17,634 --> 00:36:20,876
- The day your father disappeared.
- I already told you what happened.
420
00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:26,723
Look, I know you pay us a lot,
and it's not really my place to ask,
421
00:36:26,851 --> 00:36:28,557
but come on.
422
00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:31,640
What?
423
00:36:31,773 --> 00:36:34,685
You took your boat from the dock,
immediately ran aground,
424
00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:36,558
decided to start fishing,
425
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:39,903
and then the monster attacked
your father and took him away.
426
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:41,396
Took him away and killed him!
427
00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:43,899
You told us your father was
a seasoned ship captain.
428
00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:48,449
This sounds like the work of a small child
or someone who's a drunk.
429
00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:51,288
Well, he was, nedge!
And he'd been drinking all morning.
430
00:36:51,418 --> 00:36:56,378
I wasn't much more fair for ware because
you see I, too, am a drunk. As is ashcroft.
431
00:36:56,506 --> 00:36:59,669
And no, my father was not
a seasoned ship captain.
432
00:36:59,801 --> 00:37:04,295
I never said this, you assumed this.
Just as you assumed I was a ship captain.
433
00:37:04,431 --> 00:37:06,922
As you probably assumed
ashcroft is, too.
434
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:09,265
It's hard not to assume
your father was a ship captain
435
00:37:09,394 --> 00:37:11,931
when you told us
your father was a ship captain.
436
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:14,304
- Oh, I never said such a thing!
- Yes, you did!
437
00:37:14,441 --> 00:37:18,650
- At the beginning of all of this.
- A-ha... a-hal
438
00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:21,861
well, that must've just been
one of my little lying fits.
439
00:37:21,990 --> 00:37:24,732
I do that an awful lot
to make up for the fact
440
00:37:24,868 --> 00:37:26,859
that I don't actually have a lot
going for me.
441
00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:30,408
No, no, what about your house here?
You have a beautiful house.
442
00:37:30,540 --> 00:37:32,121
It's all illusion, nedge!
443
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:35,287
A simple parlor trick in which
a man moves into a lighthouse
444
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:38,457
and pretends to be someone other
than the museum's docent.
445
00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:40,797
- So this is a museum?
- Yes!
446
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:44,292
- Not your house.
- No.
447
00:37:44,429 --> 00:37:46,385
- And you're a docent here?
- And a fraud!
448
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,470
We're all just a bunch of frauds,
nedge.
449
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,261
I'm the biggest charlatan of them all.
450
00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:53,351
At least my father and ashcroft
were sailors.
451
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,516
I just stay cooped up
in my lighthouse villa
452
00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:58,105
playing make-believe
with my old-ass wife.
453
00:37:58,234 --> 00:38:00,145
You mean the state's lighthouse.
454
00:38:00,278 --> 00:38:03,770
There I go again, pretending!
This hat? A costume prop!
455
00:38:03,907 --> 00:38:07,775
This ivory? Real ivory!
Not mine! The museum's!
456
00:38:07,911 --> 00:38:10,055
In fact, I'm actually pretty surprised
none of you picked up
457
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:12,912
on the sheer blatantness
that this is clearly a museum.
458
00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:15,581
Hmm!
459
00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:17,875
Dude, sick.
460
00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:19,619
- Yeah, sick.
- Sick.
461
00:38:19,756 --> 00:38:23,340
Okay, but why are you being
this con man?
462
00:38:23,468 --> 00:38:27,632
Because... if I hadn't pretended
463
00:38:27,764 --> 00:38:30,676
to be this wealthy mariner...
464
00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:35,055
None of you would've helped me
to my cause.
465
00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:39,056
I never had a mother
and I just want to find my father.
466
00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:41,649
These checks aren't good, are they?
467
00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:46,612
Nedge! Don't go!
468
00:38:46,741 --> 00:38:48,982
Reconsider! Please!
469
00:38:49,118 --> 00:38:51,359
Those checks, they might not be good,
470
00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:55,830
but I'm still a pretty fun guy
to hang out with!
471
00:38:55,959 --> 00:38:58,792
Come on! Captain cool over here!
472
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:03,505
You know... look, please,
I'll do anything. I'll Rob a bank!
473
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:27,488
J I can see the waters in the morning
474
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:33,781
j I can see the ships sail into bay
475
00:39:33,913 --> 00:39:40,034
j there must be some team
who'll do my bidding
476
00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:46,085
j without questioning,
drinking, dying or pay!
477
00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:51,382
J I know my life is still worth living
478
00:39:51,514 --> 00:39:58,056
j I will conquer foe and friend alike... j
479
00:39:58,187 --> 00:40:02,226
seafield! Knock it off!
You're a terrible singer.
480
00:40:06,529 --> 00:40:07,939
Sorry.
481
00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:11,072
Did you buy a house?
482
00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:17,578
- "Tis a sublease.
- Oh.
483
00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:24,165
Remember the first time
dad took us out on the boat?
484
00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:26,583
How could I forget?
485
00:40:26,716 --> 00:40:29,207
I was five years old.
486
00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:32,711
You couldn't have been more
than eight or nine at the time.
487
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:34,553
We were so scared that day,
488
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:37,970
dad taking us out on the sea
for the first time.
489
00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:41,594
Couple of landlubbers like us, huh?
Times have changed.
490
00:40:41,731 --> 00:40:45,269
But he said, "don't be scared.
Everything will be alright.
491
00:40:45,401 --> 00:40:48,359
"This'll be a fun time.
I'll keep you safe."
492
00:40:48,488 --> 00:40:51,776
He also said, "if either one of you
should get seasick
493
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:54,445
"and throw up all over the deck,
494
00:40:54,577 --> 00:40:58,911
I will take my harpoon gun
and I will shoot you in the face."
495
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:03,079
Then, of course, you did get sick
and the rest is history, as we may say.
496
00:41:03,211 --> 00:41:04,621
Funny guy, dad.
497
00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:09,168
Well, he did the best
he could as a single teenage father.
498
00:41:15,848 --> 00:41:18,510
Go to the catacombs.
499
00:41:21,437 --> 00:41:23,348
The catacombs? Are you mad? No!
500
00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:24,937
- You must!
- I mustn't.
501
00:41:25,066 --> 00:41:26,806
- I think you should.
- Why should 1?
502
00:41:26,943 --> 00:41:30,231
You killed the monster's child.
Now you're cursed.
503
00:41:30,363 --> 00:41:32,695
Well, actually the dead guy,
Sean shaughnessy,
504
00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:34,815
he's the one who killed
the monster's child.
505
00:41:34,951 --> 00:41:37,317
I just told him to. Ipso facto...
506
00:41:37,453 --> 00:41:43,119
Even worse! A man whom you have
cursed and later led to the slaughter.
507
00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:45,537
Yep, here it is.
508
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:49,629
The wandering cursed spirit
will not rest
509
00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:56,799
until it brings the cursee's life
to a resounding end.
510
00:41:58,850 --> 00:42:00,590
What can I do, ashcroft?
511
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:03,594
You're a dead man walking, seafield.
512
00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:07,222
Might as well avenge the old man's death
and your friend's death
513
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:09,599
while you still can.
514
00:42:09,736 --> 00:42:12,352
Go to the catacombs.
515
00:43:08,961 --> 00:43:10,792
Fore!
516
00:43:12,256 --> 00:43:15,623
Hey, sorry about that, fellas...
Whoa, dick! Nedge!
517
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:19,344
What are you guys doing here?
Ice cream sandwiches?
518
00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:20,678
What do you want, seafield?
519
00:43:20,807 --> 00:43:23,327
Alright, you've seen through my ruse.
I wasn't actually golfing.
520
00:43:23,392 --> 00:43:25,553
- Yeah, no shit.
- Come on, get out of here, seafield.
521
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:27,267
Look, I'm sorry about before.
522
00:43:27,396 --> 00:43:30,684
But now I've come to right the wrong
of not paying you for your services
523
00:43:30,817 --> 00:43:33,183
by paying you for your services!
524
00:43:33,319 --> 00:43:35,856
- You don't have the money.
- I'll sell my pontoon!
525
00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:37,979
You killed my unborn child.
526
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:42,742
- I'll sell my pontoon.
- You mean the museum's pontoon.
527
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:46,613
Ha-ha! Very funny,
nedge the hedge. Right?
528
00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:48,705
What kind of services
are you even talking about?
529
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:50,575
Security of my life.
530
00:43:50,711 --> 00:43:53,190
- The weapon's bag is in the graveyard.
- And we're not weapons experts.
531
00:43:53,214 --> 00:43:54,624
I don't care about any of that!
532
00:43:54,757 --> 00:43:58,591
Look, I'm going to be going up against
a lot of moving parts in the near future.
533
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,882
I need trustworthy, reliable,
dependable people by my side.
534
00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:05,131
Besides, you know the old adage:
"Six pairs of eyes are better than two."
535
00:44:05,268 --> 00:44:06,724
Not an old adage.
536
00:44:06,853 --> 00:44:09,686
You mean: "Three pairs of eyes
are better than one."
537
00:44:09,814 --> 00:44:14,057
Yes, if I were ashcroft and only had
one pair of eyes, that would be correct.
538
00:44:14,193 --> 00:44:16,313
But I have two pairs of eyes
and there are two of you,
539
00:44:16,404 --> 00:44:18,861
so that makes it six pairs of eyes.
540
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:22,153
You know one pair of eyes
makes two eyeballs?
541
00:44:22,285 --> 00:44:24,526
A pear is also a fruit, nedge.
542
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:28,701
In that case, yes, a pair of pears
would be two pear.
543
00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:32,451
Two pairs of two pears
would be four pears.
544
00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:35,203
No! There would be two pear.
545
00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:38,502
- Two pairs of pears?
- No!
546
00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:41,842
- Or two pear.
- Yes, that's right.
547
00:44:41,971 --> 00:44:47,261
As if you're describing
the plural form of "pear"...
548
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:49,759
In its singular form!
549
00:44:49,896 --> 00:44:52,638
Oh! So you think "pear"
is like "deer"?
550
00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:54,354
Or "lamb".
551
00:44:54,483 --> 00:44:58,101
No! A pear is a fruit!
552
00:44:58,237 --> 00:44:59,852
Bye, seafield.
553
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:36,639
Aargh... aargh!
554
00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:41,902
You killed me.
555
00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:46,074
"The wandering cursed spirit
will not rest
556
00:45:46,202 --> 00:45:52,619
'until it brings the cursee's life
to a resounding end.'
557
00:46:11,477 --> 00:46:13,809
Oh, my god, what's that?
558
00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:17,096
What?
559
00:46:43,843 --> 00:46:45,925
'Next stop: Lighthouse island.'
560
00:47:23,049 --> 00:47:26,132
'Prepare for arrival
at lighthouse island.'
561
00:48:15,017 --> 00:48:16,427
Captain?
562
00:48:21,482 --> 00:48:23,222
Captain?
563
00:48:25,152 --> 00:48:26,892
Captain?
564
00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:30,480
Uh... captain?
565
00:48:34,787 --> 00:48:36,243
Captain?
566
00:48:37,915 --> 00:48:39,746
Yep, this is a phantom ship.
567
00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:56,180
Milwaukee?
We're going backwards.
568
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,973
Gotta turn this bird around.
569
00:49:07,903 --> 00:49:11,612
J dear old captain seafield,
you're a stinker, it's true
570
00:49:11,740 --> 00:49:15,483
j you put forty odd bullets
through your favorite nephew
571
00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:19,532
j you ran from the battle,
your men never get paid
572
00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:25,831
j and down in the black of your past
lurks a mean old sea hag
573
00:49:31,051 --> 00:49:35,169
J dear old captain seafield,
you're a thief and a cheat
574
00:49:35,306 --> 00:49:39,219
j you broke into my lodging
and stole my good meat
575
00:49:39,351 --> 00:49:43,185
j you made eyes at me daughter,
you sullied my wife
576
00:49:43,314 --> 00:49:47,648
j you're a damn drunken devil
and the best friend... I
577
00:49:57,286 --> 00:50:00,403
Pure intuition! Ha-ha-ha!
578
00:50:22,603 --> 00:50:24,343
Aargh!
579
00:50:41,163 --> 00:50:42,573
Alright.
580
00:50:43,290 --> 00:50:44,871
Hmm. Er...
581
00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:52,834
Alright...
582
00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:03,845
Urgh...
583
00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:05,843
Uh...?
584
00:51:05,980 --> 00:51:07,390
No.
585
00:51:08,148 --> 00:51:10,264
Uh... ah...
586
00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:14,480
Ah... hmm...
587
00:51:15,447 --> 00:51:18,029
Ah, god, I wish I was a sea captain.
588
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:22,113
Ah
589
00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:28,408
Shit! Oh!
590
00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:36,839
Shit.
591
00:51:52,359 --> 00:51:55,146
Perhaps this will do...
592
00:51:58,157 --> 00:52:00,773
Oh! Success!
593
00:52:09,877 --> 00:52:11,788
Ah, here we are.
594
00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,126
Yes!
595
00:52:39,615 --> 00:52:41,480
Hello, ashcroft! Wh...?
596
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:53,955
Seafield...
597
00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:57,921
There's something I have to tell you.
598
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:02,210
The reason we don't have a mother
599
00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:07,466
is because she was harpooned
to death by our father.
600
00:53:24,034 --> 00:53:27,447
- Who wants fish sticks?
- Not now, Martha!
601
00:53:45,764 --> 00:53:48,801
'Go to the catacombs.'
602
00:55:09,056 --> 00:55:10,887
Ghost army!
603
00:55:26,698 --> 00:55:29,861
Father. Is dead.
604
00:55:31,411 --> 00:55:34,153
Ashcroft is also dead.
605
00:55:34,748 --> 00:55:36,158
Monster cut his head off.
606
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:40,955
I did not want to ask for your help,
but now I'm running short on time.
607
00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:45,956
Anyways... uh...
608
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:50,298
What've I got here?
609
00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:57,768
My life I vow...
610
00:55:58,856 --> 00:56:00,221
Ilf you help me now.
611
00:56:06,822 --> 00:56:08,028
Anyone?
612
00:56:09,741 --> 00:56:13,359
My life I vow...
If you help me now.
613
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,203
There's one. Yes, yes. Alright.
614
00:56:20,335 --> 00:56:25,295
Oh, we have two!
Who's next? Right here. Alright.
615
00:56:25,424 --> 00:56:27,665
Yes, yes, yes!
616
00:56:28,427 --> 00:56:32,545
Yes. Come!
Follow me, ghost army!
617
00:57:29,571 --> 00:57:31,527
Go get 'em, boys!
618
00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:03,518
Well?
619
00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:43,641
You're not good at this game,
Mr. ghost.
620
00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:48,779
"This is ghost 4 coming in on can 2,
this is ghost 4 coming in on can 2.
621
00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:51,145
'Like I said, this is ghost 4
coming inon can 2.'
622
00:58:51,278 --> 00:58:54,065
can you read me? Seafield, we are
having a lot of trouble down here.
623
00:58:54,197 --> 00:58:56,259
We got troop leaders in the front
getting demolished by this thing.
624
00:58:56,283 --> 00:58:59,012
We were not prepared for the serious
magnitude of this hellish sea beast...
625
00:58:59,036 --> 00:59:01,402
Oh! Oh, good god!
626
00:59:01,538 --> 00:59:05,030
Oh! Oh, seafield,
we need to reassess our plan.
627
00:59:05,167 --> 00:59:08,000
We're losing a lot of good ghosts
down here. And we need a moment to...
628
00:59:13,925 --> 00:59:16,632
The battle wages on. Your move.
629
00:59:26,646 --> 00:59:31,106
You're worse than Martha.
And she's senile.
630
00:59:31,234 --> 00:59:32,974
Uh?
631
00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:47,698
It was a massacre.
632
01:00:03,141 --> 01:00:08,511
'Stop sending daddy's
ghost army. Come fight me yourself!'
633
01:01:12,419 --> 01:01:14,501
What...?
634
01:01:16,089 --> 01:01:18,546
- Oh!
- Diel
635
01:01:50,665 --> 01:01:52,405
A-ha-ha!
636
01:03:10,870 --> 01:03:14,078
Uh?
637
01:03:56,791 --> 01:03:58,782
Oh...
638
01:04:58,770 --> 01:05:00,977
Must be imagining things.
639
01:05:08,822 --> 01:05:10,028
What are you doing?
640
01:05:11,658 --> 01:05:12,898
What?
641
01:05:15,036 --> 01:05:16,321
What?
642
01:05:17,997 --> 01:05:19,862
Monster?
643
01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:21,955
In there?
644
01:05:26,297 --> 01:05:28,003
No! No, no, no, no.
645
01:05:28,133 --> 01:05:30,111
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on one second. Wait, wait, wait.
646
01:05:30,135 --> 01:05:32,126
No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
647
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:34,423
No, no, no, Mr. ghost,
you go in there first.
648
01:05:34,556 --> 01:05:36,592
I vowed my life to you people.
649
01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:41,468
Now, get in there and make something
happen. I believe in you.
650
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,410
Shh!
651
01:06:14,387 --> 01:06:16,252
Ooh!
652
01:06:16,389 --> 01:06:18,505
Shh! Shh!
653
01:06:18,641 --> 01:06:20,723
Jesus! Goddamnit!
654
01:07:24,499 --> 01:07:25,909
Father.
655
01:07:57,532 --> 01:08:00,615
All out of patsies are we, darling?
656
01:08:03,746 --> 01:08:05,486
Sea hag!
657
01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:08,748
I shall have my revenge!
658
01:08:08,876 --> 01:08:11,743
For my brother!
659
01:08:13,798 --> 01:08:17,666
Well, that was my revenge
for my unborn child!
660
01:08:18,386 --> 01:08:21,878
Well, that was my revenge
for my father!
661
01:08:27,228 --> 01:08:30,220
Well, that was my revenge...
662
01:08:30,356 --> 01:08:32,472
For your father...
663
01:08:32,609 --> 01:08:35,726
Harpooning my mother to death!
664
01:08:38,573 --> 01:08:41,485
Oh, boo-hoo,
he harpooned my mother, too.
665
01:08:44,078 --> 01:08:45,659
Come here, baby...
666
01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:59,507
Seafield, he harpooned my mother
and your mother.
667
01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:03,298
Seafield...
668
01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:05,922
We have the same parents.
669
01:09:12,440 --> 01:09:14,271
Try to remember.
670
01:09:25,286 --> 01:09:27,447
Blasphemy!
671
01:09:27,580 --> 01:09:30,071
- What...?
- Liar!
672
01:09:39,425 --> 01:09:41,086
Damn!
673
01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:07,988
Uh... you must be a visual learner.
674
01:10:16,045 --> 01:10:19,708
'Yes, we are kin, seafield.
675
01:10:20,383 --> 01:10:25,173
"When the three of us were little,
our father was a drunkard.
676
01:10:25,304 --> 01:10:27,795
'Every night after work,
he would get hammered
677
01:10:27,932 --> 01:10:31,174
'and head to the lake to see
our hideous sea monster mother,
678
01:10:31,310 --> 01:10:34,143
'and love her for who she was.
679
01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:40,267
'But one day, he went
to the liquor store at 12:05,
680
01:10:40,403 --> 01:10:42,940
'five minutes after closing,
681
01:10:43,072 --> 01:10:48,112
'and could not purchase
any ice-cold Milwaukee brews.
682
01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:52,112
'He went home sober.
683
01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:54,830
'Upon seeing his wife
through sober eyes for the first time,
684
01:10:54,959 --> 01:10:59,043
'he was shocked at her disgusting face
and immediately harpooned her,
685
01:10:59,172 --> 01:11:02,960
'leaving the three of us
without a mother.
686
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:08,678
'I have no Patience for men who
come home sober and beat their wives.
687
01:11:08,806 --> 01:11:13,015
'So when I came of killing age,
I took vengeance upon the old man.
688
01:11:13,144 --> 01:11:16,557
"This gave me peace.
689
01:11:16,689 --> 01:11:20,648
'Now, I want to put
our violent past behind us.
690
01:11:20,777 --> 01:11:24,520
'So I birthed a child
by the naked swimming man.
691
01:11:24,655 --> 01:11:28,443
'But you rejected this peace offering
and killed your own nephew,
692
01:11:28,576 --> 01:11:32,569
'so I settled the score with ashcroft.
693
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:36,243
'Now that we are even once more,
I ask you..."
694
01:11:41,380 --> 01:11:47,171
Brother, let us make peace
and end this cycle of vengeance.
695
01:12:00,691 --> 01:12:02,682
Come here, big sis!
696
01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,401
Oh! Come here, little bro!
697
01:12:05,530 --> 01:12:09,318
- I'm sorry!
- I'm sorry, too!
698
01:12:09,450 --> 01:12:12,237
- Bring it in!
- Bring it in.
699
01:12:32,223 --> 01:12:34,339
I didn't believe your story for a second!
700
01:12:34,475 --> 01:12:37,387
It's true! I'm not lying!
701
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:38,885
It's all lies!
702
01:12:39,021 --> 01:12:44,106
Everyone knows Milwaukee
liquor stores close at 9:00 not 12:00!
703
01:12:44,235 --> 01:12:48,194
Seafield, I'm your sister.
How could you kill your own...?
704
01:12:48,322 --> 01:12:51,189
Wait. 9:00?
705
01:12:51,325 --> 01:12:55,034
- 9:00pm?
- Yeah, I know.
706
01:12:56,664 --> 01:13:01,328
- That's just so early.
- I know, I know. It's actually ridiculous.
707
01:13:01,460 --> 01:13:03,542
I want to hear their reasoning on that,
you know.
708
01:13:03,671 --> 01:13:06,037
Granted.
I think we would all appreciate that.
709
01:13:06,173 --> 01:13:08,414
I mean, I don't have
the numbers in front of me...
710
01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:11,668
- Well...
- How is that... I mean, who's that helping?
711
01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:14,216
I honestly think the idea is that, uh...
712
01:13:14,348 --> 01:13:17,840
People will go out to bars and
restaurants, you know, spend money.
713
01:13:17,977 --> 01:13:21,765
Help support the local economy, I think
that's where their heads are at, anyways.
714
01:13:24,358 --> 01:13:26,394
Maybe.
715
01:13:26,527 --> 01:13:29,485
Maybe, huh...
Some of the ordinances, I tell you.
716
01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:32,196
- Some of these ordinances, indeed.
- Huh!
717
01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:33,861
Hmm
718
01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:40,363
and now to get my revenge!
719
01:13:42,627 --> 01:13:44,618
I've avenged you, father!
720
01:13:44,754 --> 01:13:47,120
I am a hero!
721
01:13:47,256 --> 01:13:49,417
Everyone, take heed!
722
01:13:54,805 --> 01:13:57,262
Ah... oh...
723
01:14:07,318 --> 01:14:09,024
Thank you.
724
01:14:10,696 --> 01:14:12,436
Aargh! Ow!
725
01:14:12,573 --> 01:14:15,235
Thank you for avenging me.
726
01:14:19,038 --> 01:14:21,495
Oh... ha-ha-ha!
727
01:14:21,624 --> 01:14:25,367
Rest in peace, Sean shaughnessy.
728
01:15:23,102 --> 01:15:27,516
J dear old captain seafield,
the monster, you say
729
01:15:27,648 --> 01:15:31,641
j Rose up from the depths,
and men started to pray
730
01:15:31,777 --> 01:15:36,066
j your father stood bravely
with harpoon in hand
731
01:15:36,198 --> 01:15:42,990
j and that was the last
that anyone's seen of the man
732
01:15:47,918 --> 01:15:52,582
j dear old captain seafield,
with your old man long gone
733
01:15:52,715 --> 01:15:56,583
j you sure found some trouble
and it didn't take long
734
01:15:56,719 --> 01:16:00,883
j you assembled a fine crew
of misfits and scum
735
01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:03,757
j so roll up your sleeves,
you skullduggers
736
01:16:03,893 --> 01:16:07,556
j and mind you the rum
737
01:16:12,485 --> 01:16:17,525
j dear old captain seafield,
he went off to sea
738
01:16:17,656 --> 01:16:21,740
j he came back no captain,
though pretended to be
739
01:16:21,869 --> 01:16:25,737
j he said he'd found treasure
on far distant shore
740
01:16:25,873 --> 01:16:32,460
j but all he could show was some crabs
he caught from a whore
741
01:16:43,474 --> 01:16:48,138
J dear old captain seafield,
he stumbled the world
742
01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:52,263
j and told his lying brags
down to every sweet girl
743
01:16:52,399 --> 01:16:56,688
j he'll try to impress you
with maps and with charts
744
01:16:56,821 --> 01:17:02,942
j but truly his gift is
to clear out the bar with his farts
745
01:17:08,916 --> 01:17:13,205
J dear old captain seafield,
you're a wild game of chance
746
01:17:13,337 --> 01:17:17,296
j his luck comes and goes
like the moon and his pants
747
01:17:17,424 --> 01:17:21,588
j you live by a code
these damn pirates still swear
748
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:24,507
j the stray dogs,
they love him for sure
749
01:17:24,640 --> 01:17:28,553
j the cats, they beware
750
01:17:35,109 --> 01:17:39,068
J dear old captain seafield! &
54378
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