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1
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,160
That's a bit controversial,
isn't it?
2
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:48,320
♪ Amen. ♪
3
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,340
I'll sit over here.
4
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,740
Hello, Graham. Johnny.
5
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,920
Barry.
6
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:01,660
So what did you think?
Of the rough cut?
7
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,100
Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.
8
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,820
Loved it. I think it might be the
best thing we've done. Oh, easily.
9
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:10,620
By miles. Now I've spoken to Chris
who's head of North America
10
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,980
and we'd like to open it first
in the States.
11
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:19,620
Aw Terrific. Really terrific.
So what's the thinking?
12
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,740
The First Amendment guarantees
the right to freedom of speech.
13
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:27,700
Plus it's a melting pot, there's all
kinds of different religions
out there. And it's Hollywood.
14
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,980
And Chris reckons you're ready
to play with the big boys now.
15
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,500
Jolly good.
16
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,260
I love Americans.
17
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:38,780
Here in New York City Monty Python's
Life of Brian had its world premiere
18
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,060
and Americans have come
from far and wide to see it.
19
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,860
Not to watch the film,
but to protest against it.
20
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,860
I'm going to ask them why.
21
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,180
This film is disgusting.
Enough with the stereotypes.
22
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,020
It's not funny. How is this funny?
23
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,460
Life Of Brian is an evil film.
24
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,140
And Monty Python is an evil man.
25
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,300
I would like to say
it's morally repugnant.
26
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,380
And also, kill the blacks.
27
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:00,940
I agree with him.
28
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,240
Except the bit about killing black
people. Obviously, that's not cool.
29
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,020
That went well.
30
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,860
I knew it. Americans. Total idiots.
31
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,940
Waste of space. Wasn't all bad.
32
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,380
I got this lovely jacket.
33
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:21,580
Yes. Very nice. We won't have the
same problems here though, right?
34
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,340
Protests? Here?
Oh, no, I wouldn't think so no.
35
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:28,740
Because the Great British Public,
they aren't quick to judge
or completely close-minded?
36
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:31,100
Oh, no, sorry.
They are quick to judge
37
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:35,140
and massively closed-minded. Not
the queers. Apart from the queers.
38
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:40,900
Right, here are the press cuttings
and early box office breakdowns.
39
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,420
Listen to this. This is from Variety.
40
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:48,220
Rabbi Hecht says the film, quote,
'could result in violence'. Oh, yes.
41
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,820
Copycat crucifixions.
I hadn't thought of that.
42
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,500
That is a worry, isn't it? Cretin.
43
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:58,220
I mean, they've been out of favour
for two thousand years but suddenly
all the kids will be doing it.
44
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,980
"Hey, Johnny, want to come out
for a kick-about?"
45
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,300
"No, no, no. Me and Gary thought
we'd nail his brother to a tree."
46
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:09,260
I think the Rabbi meant violent
protest. As in violence against us.
47
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,900
Right. Well, that wasn't clear.
48
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,580
It sort of was. Wasn't.
49
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,820
Was. Wasn't.
Really was. Really wasn't.
50
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:19,020
He goes on to say the movie
was produced in Hell.
51
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,920
Oh, I love that.
52
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:29,860
Could we have a scene where we show
some Christians killing some babies?
53
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,380
Oh, yeah, funny.
That is funny. I like that.
54
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,700
Jesus having sex with Judas?
Good. Offensive. Put that in.
55
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,180
Maybe a scene where Jesus is on
the cross and gets quite turned on
56
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,920
and ejaculates over everyone?
57
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,780
Oh, that is sick.
That's... you've gone way too far.
58
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,680
That crosses a fucking line.
59
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,080
Oh, crap!
60
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,100
So, while you're all
in the same room, gents,
61
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:04,860
I just need you to sign these
release forms for
distribution in France.
62
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,300
Oh, so we're getting
released in France? Yeah.
63
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,580
Have you seen French films?
It's all picnics and incest.
64
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,300
You can't shock that lot.
65
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,300
And what about here?
66
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,260
There's no need to worry.
67
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,660
Well, I wasn't going to worry
68
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,940
but now you've said there's no need
to worry I'm thinking I might worry.
69
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,500
You're not getting cold feet,
are you, Barry?
70
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,180
No, course not.
71
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:31,700
All I'm saying is,
you know, let's not project it
on to the side of Westminster Abbey
72
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,520
or start selling Life of Brian
Christmas crackers.
73
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:40,160
Have you seen Monty Python's
Life of Brian Christmas crackers?
74
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,980
Knock knock. Who's there? No-one.
75
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,660
We're all alone
in a godless universe.
76
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,820
Monty Python's Life of Brian
Christmas crackers.
77
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,900
Fun for all the family. As long
as you're not Christian, easily
offended or expecting good jokes.
78
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,400
Hee-hee-hee-hee!
79
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,000
So...
80
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,180
it's all going OK here so far?
81
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,820
Yes, there's been the odd article,
nothing too bad.
82
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,440
Mind you, we haven't opened yet.
83
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,780
If it wasn't going well,
84
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:48,400
if things got bad...
85
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,660
would you be OK?
86
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:57,660
Even if all the religious leaders
in the world denounce you,
I'll be there for you. Thank you.
87
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:03,020
Until we die. When I'll go to heaven
and you'll be in hell.
88
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:06,460
That's nice. Oh, I'm joking!
89
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,580
It's a joke.
It's not a very funny joke.
90
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,560
Terry would have found it funny.
91
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,480
Terry's got a terrific
sense of humour.
92
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,400
Can I have a cuddle?
Oh, of course you can.
93
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,180
Oh, God, gently love!
94
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:35,040
Sorry...Sorry!
95
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,580
I just came from Wildlife...
Shall we begin?
96
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,280
Right! Listen up. I'm in charge.
97
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,460
This is the office for
Friday Night, Saturday Morning?
98
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:52,380
Yes. Good. Well, listen up.
99
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,940
I know you were all expecting
to be working with Trevor
100
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,700
and I'm sure you were terribly
saddened by his sudden death
101
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,580
but I'm in charge now
and he's history. Moving on.
102
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,540
Point two. That was point one.
103
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,820
Point two. I don't care what you
think you were doing before.
104
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,860
You're not doing that now. You,
what did you think you were doing?
105
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,340
A chat show? Wrong!
106
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,060
Chat shows are bullshit.
107
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,100
I don't want to make a chat show.
108
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:18,780
People chatting? Uh-uh. Boring.
People talking? Now you're talking.
109
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:23,300
I'm not sure I follow.
I want this show to be about
where Britain's at today.
110
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,500
The Sixties were all free love,
anything goes.
111
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:30,500
The Seventies were
No Sex Please, We're British
and everything's a downer.
112
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,180
But we're about to
head in to a new decade.
113
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:36,580
What will the Britain of the
future be like? Will it be prim?
114
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:39,620
Or full of quim? Oh, dear God.
You, bring me a chair.
115
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:45,900
So, how are you going to do all that
on what will essentially be something
quite like a chat show? OK.
116
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,880
Random example.
117
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:52,460
We have a homeless guy. What?
118
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:56,180
Hear me out, big man.
We have a homeless guy
on the same show as the Queen.
119
00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:01,820
Oh, right...Really?
No, it's just an example.
I'm showing you what's possible.
120
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,660
I'm reaching into your tiny mind
and opening the doors of the TARDIS.
121
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,700
It's a police box. Whoosh!
No it's not, it's Narnia. You!
122
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,660
I want you to build me a set
that looks like I've dropped acid
in Hawaii. Oh yeah.
123
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:17,180
I'm out there. It'll be like
when Dylan went electric.
124
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,280
That's what's happening, so
boo me, beardy, or get on board.
125
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,280
Sorry, who are you?
Well, I'm Alan Dick.
126
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:30,140
I'm the new BBC Head of Talk. So...
I'm confused. It's my first day.
127
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:35,540
Do I answer to you, or do I work
for the producer, Iain Johnstone?
128
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:40,280
You answer to me. Oh.
Oh. Brilliant. Isn't it?
129
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,760
All these 'orrible bags...I dunno.
130
00:10:58,640 --> 00:10:59,900
Oh!
131
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,260
This is a bit of script
from Life of Brian.
132
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,780
This looks like
it might be quite offensive.
133
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:10,000
I should pass this on to someone who
might find it even more offensive.
134
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:22,580
All right, Desmond. The usual, is it?
Yes, please, Keith.
135
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,620
And a pint of mild, thanks.
136
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,060
ARSE, BALLS, PRICK, SHIT!
137
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,360
No problem.
138
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:40,920
There's your pint of lager.
Keep the change. Cheers. Grand.
139
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:49,060
Sam tells me you've got news
on the Life of Brian.
140
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,660
Prepare to be blown away...
141
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,840
I'M NOT QUEER!
142
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,380
Where did you get hold of this?
143
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,940
A man found out it
out walking his dog.
You didn't steal it did you?
144
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,380
No. A man really did find it while
out walking his dog. WANKER!
145
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,060
Is it real? I DID IT WITH STENCILS!
146
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:14,500
I didn't.
I've got a friend who is a comedy
writer and a committed Christian.
147
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:19,180
Really? It's odd, isn't it?
Anyway I'll show him this and if
he can verify it's 100% genuine
148
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,520
we can get the ball rolling. BALLS!
149
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,400
Sorry.
150
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:29,260
Well, I suppose congratulations are
in order. Well done, Desmond.
Cheers.
151
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,760
SCROTUMS! Cheers! BANJO FUCKER!
152
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,020
The bad language.
Is it, is it...are you...?
153
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,620
The doctor suggested
seeing a therapist.
154
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,220
A bit American, isn't it?
155
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:44,140
YANK ME! It is a bit. Of course,
the irony is a few hundred years ago
156
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:50,300
someone like me would probably
have someone like you burnt at the
stake for being possessed by demons.
157
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,700
That's not very nice.
158
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,040
BELL-END!
159
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,300
What about this?
160
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,900
We get Harold Wilson.
161
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,900
Harold Wilson
the former Prime Minister?
162
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,060
OK. I can work with that.
Yeah. Harold Wilson.
163
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,620
And a bin man.
Ask them the same question -
164
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,140
why is this country such a mess?
But the bin men are on strike?
165
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,900
You're right.
166
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,980
Shit idea. Fuck it, bin it... it's
gone, it's history. Moving on.
167
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,340
You! Any ideas? Too slow. Forget it.
168
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,360
Yes? I didn't say anything.
169
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,260
What about Life of Brian?
170
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,740
Did you see that news report
about the US opening? Ah, yes,
171
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,620
now, good, because Iain suggested...
172
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,940
OK, for the UK premiere
we get the Pythons versus...
173
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:39,780
the Pope.
174
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,100
The Pope? The actual Pope?
175
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,900
Try the Pope. Aim high.
Start there and work your way down.
176
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,220
How about bishops?
177
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,980
Bishops. Fantastic. I love bishops.
178
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,620
I can just imagine it.
179
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:57,980
What have the Christians
ever given us? Well...
180
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:01,540
a moral code, charity, good works,
inspiration, counter-veiling,
181
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,620
an oppositional force
against the evils of capitalism.
182
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,100
Yeah, apart from that, what
have the Christians ever given us?
183
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,820
Christian names? Very useful.
184
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,180
Yeah, obviously Christian names.
185
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,720
Apart from that, what have
the Christian ever given us?
186
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:19,140
Hot cross buns?
Yes, I can see it now.
187
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,100
It'll be like one of their sketches.
Hilarious.
188
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,980
Do you want it to be funny? Or do
you want it to be a proper debate?
189
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:29,060
I want it to be a proper debate.
That is also funny. And moving.
190
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,100
And edgy.
191
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,100
And I want it to win a BAFTA.
192
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:37,940
I see. I'm serious. This could be
the greatest TV show ever made.
Who else have you got for that night?
193
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,160
Paul Jones and Norris McWhirter.
Maybe not.
194
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:45,840
So who's heard about Sue Lawley?
195
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:53,140
Now you've had a letter off the
BBC asking if you want go on
Friday Night, Saturday Morning
196
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:59,380
to do a debate on Brian
with some religious types.
Is there any money in it? No. Oh.
197
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,340
I don't want to do anything
for the BBC any more.
198
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:07,620
I got so bored and fed up on
Flying Circus of them wanting us
to rework our scripts.
199
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:10,420
Telling us we could only
have three shits or a bugger.
200
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,100
Ridiculous rule.
201
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,820
Who came up with that, anyway?
202
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,380
That was the BBC's
Head of Rude Words.
203
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,340
Lovely chap.
204
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,620
Used to get terribly
embarrassed though.
205
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:25,640
So, this is the list of
words the sample group
said they found the most offensive.
206
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,940
Cunt.
207
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,760
So sorry.
208
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,740
Motherfucker. Is that two words?
209
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,500
I think it's just the one. Right.
210
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,300
Then comes 'fuck'.
211
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,940
Good old fuck.
212
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,120
Ahem. No? Sorry.
213
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,000
Moving on. Cocksucker.
214
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,140
Shit. We are now over the worst.
215
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,860
Bastard.
216
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,700
Tits.
217
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:02,380
Winky woo. Maybe you could
just give me the list? Good idea.
218
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,460
I could have done that in the first
place. Saved this whole...
219
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,440
scene.
220
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:13,500
So do we have a decision on the
show? What do you think? Fine by me.
I'm happy to plug the film.
221
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,460
No. Absolutely not. I forbid it.
222
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,940
Why? Because. Because what?
223
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,580
No. Do you
want to elaborate on that position?
224
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:26,420
We don't need to explain ourselves.
It's all in the film.
225
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,380
I've got to tell them something,
I know you've got to do
226
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,140
your little vote thing
so shall we just skip to that?
227
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:36,520
All those in favour of boycotting
say, "Fuck Auntie Beeb!". F...
228
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:40,860
Right.
229
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:44,220
We're all on Mike's side, are we?
ALL: Yes. Why?
230
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,540
Because he is
The Nicest Man In The World?
231
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,540
Pretty much. Yup.
232
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:54,020
Do you want to change your
mind, John? No. All right,
so you're not unanimous, are you?
233
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,140
No.
234
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,180
And we have to be unanimous.
Thus, I win.
235
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,040
Does that make you happy, love? No.
236
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,460
OK, I've had it verified.
237
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:10,780
It's as real as the Turin Shroud.
That is b-b-b-b...
238
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,780
BOLLOCKS! Brilliant? Yes, I know!
239
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:19,100
And if this is the route that
Python are taking, then who knows
240
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,860
what else could be in the film?
TITS!
241
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,580
Probably. Now.
I've given it some thought.
242
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:28,260
And what we don't want is
to give them free publicity
243
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:32,020
or turn them into martyrs. So
I'm suggesting a back-door approach.
244
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,420
GAYLORD! W-w-w-w-w...
245
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,700
What's the plan? Well, we lobby
the BBFC and urge them
246
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,460
to think of the consequences of
allowing the film to be shown.
247
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,940
Oh, you know w-w-what else
we could do?
248
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:49,460
W-W-W-We could ask people to pray,
249
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,540
You know, just let God sort it out.
250
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,660
Yes. Could do.
251
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,860
Let's not rely on that though.
252
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:03,000
OK, everyone. Let's get out there
and spread the word. MARMITE!
253
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,860
They turn the crucifixion
into a song-and-dance number.
254
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,220
They ridicule the Sermon on the
Mount. You see Jesus's willy.
255
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,580
Apparently, if you watch
the film backwards it implies
256
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,300
Jesus made the healthy sick
and went round blinding people.
257
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,660
I heard they burn a puppy in the
belly of a giant wicker kitten.
258
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,740
Why? Exactly.
259
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,400
That's fucked up.
260
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,540
But what if we have
over-stepped the mark? Hey, come on.
261
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:57,180
We all knew Mary Whitehouse and
the Festival of Light weren't going
to like it. You worry too much.
262
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,780
I can't help it. I do. Why is that?
263
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,380
Why do you worry about what other
people think? Gee, I don't know.
264
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,620
Maybe it's because you're
the Nicest Man in the World.
265
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,620
That's ridiculous. Excuse me, miss.
266
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,140
You dropped this. Thank you.
267
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,740
John just likes saying that
as a dig.
268
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,940
You see? What? Morning, Bill.
269
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,180
Get yourself some lunch.
270
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,980
You're constantly doing nice things.
I really don't think that's true.
271
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,380
You're also self-deprecating
about it.
272
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,060
I'm no more self-deprecating
than the next man.
273
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,900
You're even self-deprecating
about being self-deprecating.
274
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,500
Oh, great! What?
275
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,980
I've trodden in some dog poop.
276
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,800
Oh, Terry, I'm sorry,
that was probably my fault
for distracting you. Have a tissue.
277
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,660
It hasn't even come out yet.
Sells papers.
278
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,980
It's hardly fair reporting, is it?
279
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,420
I'm not in the business of
fair reporting, I'm in the
business of selling papers.
280
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,940
I notice you haven't
made fun of the Muslims.
281
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,620
Why would we make fun
of the Muslims? Why not?
282
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,260
Are you afraid of them?
283
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:56,380
It's 1979. No-one in this
country knows anything about Islam.
284
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,620
No-one's read the Koran.
Have you read the Koran? Yes.
285
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,180
Have you? No. No.
286
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,100
And do you know why?
287
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,980
Doesn't sell papers.
Because this is a Christian country
288
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,620
with a Christian heritage.
And we are brought up
within a Christian framework.
289
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:13,420
OK. Imagine it's the future and
there are two and a half million
Muslims living in Britain.
290
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,980
Would you make a film
about them then?
291
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,420
No! That would still only be
four percent of the population.
292
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:22,740
Assuming, of course, the population
had risen to, let's say,
61½ million.
293
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,460
And I would still doubt, given
the general decline in standards
294
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,720
of education that your average
Briton would have read the Koran.
295
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,440
That's just a cop out. No it isn't.
296
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:36,140
Christianity stands as a metaphor
for all organised religions
and the abuse they're open to.
297
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,900
You're just scared of reprisals.
298
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,920
Scared of reprisals? Scared of...
299
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:56,180
Hello. John Cleese here.
Sorry to interrupt.
300
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,820
Just wanted to point out that this
a fictional representation of me
301
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:02,840
based loosely
on my Basil Fawlty persona.
302
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,860
Oh, please, Mr Fawlty!
303
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,300
You breaking my head!
304
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,260
In real life, I'm a lovely man.
305
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:14,460
Oh, a dolly,
thank you, that is so nice.
306
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,300
So there you have it.
Just to reiterate, John Cleese...
307
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,380
in real life,
absolutely tremendous chap.
308
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,900
Thanks for listening.
309
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,000
Yes, I'm very well.
Hang on a moment, please.
310
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:32,920
Miiiichaaaael!
311
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,560
Miiiichaaaael!
It's your mum for you.
312
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,220
Hello, Mum!
313
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,980
"Michael, have you seen the news?"
314
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,580
"About all these protests?" Yes,
Mum. "I'm really worried, Michael.
315
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:53,220
"I'm worried sick.
I can't tell you how worried I am.
316
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,780
"It's so worrying."
317
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,420
"Oh, that's the door, I've got to go."
318
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,400
Bye then, Mum.
319
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:26,340
I want the Pythons! We've asked them
already and they said no.
320
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,180
Oh, all right, so what?
We just give up?
321
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,900
No. This is Friday Night,
Saturday Morning.
322
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,780
I'm not here to make bland TV,
I want to make something memorable.
323
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:40,820
I want people to come in to work
the next day and talk about the show
as they stand around the...
324
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,740
water jug.
325
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:47,540
I want a water jug moment.
I'm creating water jug television.
326
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:52,380
What? What if people don't have a
water jug? And the next day
is a Saturday.
327
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:57,100
Most people don't work Saturdays.
Shut up! I want the Pythons,
328
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,900
so get me the bloody Pythons.
329
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,460
Barbara Dixon is available.
330
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,420
The Two Ronnies
don't need her this week.
331
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,060
Good.
332
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:11,060
Barbara Dixon is the closest thing
this country has to a true star.
And she's totty.
333
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,520
Very classy totty.
334
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:20,540
So Barry here has asked me
to outline a defence
if a religious group
335
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,860
tries to get the film banned
for being blasphemous.
336
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,700
But before I do that...
can I just say,
337
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,440
Huge fan.
338
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:38,920
Moving on,
the basis of the case we would make
in that eventuality is that
339
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,820
Brian and Jesus
are two different people
340
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:51,980
and that Jesus appears as
a separate character in the film.
341
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,660
So that's a robust defence, is it?
342
00:23:54,760 --> 00:24:00,380
You're confident that will work? No.
It's a bit of a punt, to be honest,
343
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,340
But let's hope it works!
344
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,060
I don't want to be the man
who sent the Pythons to prison!
345
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,340
Right. Yes. And that's it, is it?
346
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,500
Fingers crossed? Touch wood?
347
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,620
Say a prayer? Afraid so.
348
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,340
And I hate to say this...
349
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:22,940
because I am a fan...but you did
sort of bring this on yourselves.
350
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:30,140
I beg your pardon?
Well, the blasphemy laws remained
unused for about 60 years.
351
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:35,640
But about two years ago
a poem was published in Gay News...
352
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:41,820
which I believe Graham here
was instrumental in setting up.
353
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:46,300
Well, I am gay. I like news. And
it's very good for film reviews.
354
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:50,500
Fuck the film reviews,
what was the poem about?
355
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,380
It was a poem about a Roman soldier
sticking things into Jesus's
356
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:58,940
stigmata while he was on the cross
and becoming aroused by that. What?
357
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:06,140
Who the fuck would write a poem
about a soldier sticking his knob
in a crucified man's spear wounds?
358
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,060
I've had an idea for a poem.
Is it about wound fucking?
359
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:14,300
Yeah. Sounds good. I'm writing a
novel about a dysfunctional family
in a Northern mining town. Really?
360
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:19,980
No, I'm kidding. It's actually
about a really hot guy who likes
to jizz over guys in a burns unit.
361
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,960
Oh, my God. That sounds amazing.
It's actually very moving.
362
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:28,820
Mary Whitehouse
didn't like the poem. No shit.
363
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:33,500
And the upshot was
she prosecuted Gay News.
364
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:38,180
And that reactivated
the blasphemy laws.
And you lot knew about this?
365
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,900
Oh, yes, they contributed to
the Gay News fighting fund -
366
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,780
which is a principled stand
I really admired.
367
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,900
Big fan of that.
368
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,860
Although, wearing my QC's hat,
or wig,
369
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,940
I would say it was unhelpful.
370
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:59,440
Or, to put it in the words of my
nine-year-old grandson, 'Jo-ey!'.
371
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,340
No.
372
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,620
I thought that would be quite funny.
373
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,200
Whoa, epic fail.
374
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,340
Dear BBC,
375
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:18,500
the Joey Deacon reference
in Holy Flying Circus
is inexcusable.
376
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,740
The story is set in 1979
377
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:27,940
and Mr Deacon did not appear on
Blue Peter until 1981
378
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:33,140
therefore, a nine-year-old
would be unlikely to be aware
of his existence
379
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:39,860
unless you're implying he was a
relative or neighbour WHICH I DOUBT.
380
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:44,140
Also, the sub-Python
self-referential
381
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:49,500
quasi-avant garde
posturing bullshit sucks arse.
382
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:54,240
Big...hairy...nana...arse.
383
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,100
Come in!
384
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,540
Yeah, I want a three-part series
about canals.
385
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:05,420
a documentary about Scandinavian jazz
and some old footage of a barge.
386
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,880
That's all we'll be showing
for the next six months.
387
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,880
We've had a complaint.
388
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,320
Oh...oh...
389
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,380
Do you know what I like
about BBC Four?
390
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,140
Nobody gives a fuck.
391
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,420
D'you like to dance, Lowry?
392
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,360
Dance for me, Lowry.
393
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,720
Come on!
394
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:06,620
Hi, you're here about Life of Brian?
395
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,060
Yes. Yes. Barry Atkins.
I'm representing the film.
Andrew Thorogood.
396
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,300
I'm here protesting about the film.
397
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,740
Oh. This is John.
Yes, I know who he is.
398
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,560
I'm Michael. I know who you are.
399
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:22,060
So. Should we duke it out
right here?
400
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:27,040
I don't like conflict.
Just here to register our feelings.
401
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:34,780
So, what's the damage, Jim?
We're giving it a double A.
402
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:40,180
A double A?! On what grounds?
In what way is that film
suitable for a 14-year-old?
403
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,260
There's no sex...
There are buttocks.
404
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,500
There's no violence.
People are crucified.
405
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,940
And there's no C word.
What about the B word?
406
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,500
Bastard or bugger? Blasphemy.
407
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,100
This could undermine
a 14-year-old's faith
in Christianity.
408
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:58,940
In our view, it's just a bunch of
silly jokes. Very good ones, though.
409
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:00,740
Thanks very much.
Good? Bloody brilliant.
410
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:05,020
I see. In that case, I shall
have to take this up
with a higher authority.
411
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:06,620
Who's that then, God?
412
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,100
No. The council.
413
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:13,100
Could you sign these for me?
Certainly. It would be a pleasure.
414
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,500
What did he mean about the council?
415
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,020
The BBFC is only advisory.
416
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,940
Local councils can have the final
say over what films are shown.
417
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,260
And they can reclassify films
if they don't like our rating.
418
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,600
You're kidding? I kid you not.
419
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:32,220
Right, OK.
420
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,460
The BBFC have given it a double A.
421
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,740
Oh, that is a sh-sh-sh...
422
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,700
SHITBUCKET!
423
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,900
Sh-Shame. So, what now?
424
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,180
We write to local councils
asking them to ban Life of Brian.
425
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,420
♪ DAN-DAN-DAAAN!
426
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:57,660
Or reclassify it as an X. ECZEMA!
Maybe if the B-B-B-B-B-B-B...
427
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,780
B-B-B-B-B...
428
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:06,120
Maybe if they think it's OK,
m-m-maybe it is OK.
429
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:12,380
They make fun of the Lord and
you think that's OK, do you, Gareth?
430
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,620
N-n-n-n... Good. That's
the end of the discussion.
431
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:16,420
Yes, b-b-b-b...
That's quite all right.
432
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,240
No need to apologise.
433
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,600
CUNT!
434
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,340
Some councils are definitely
going to ask for an X certificate.
435
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:37,700
So my question to you all is this -
are you happy to take an X certificate
436
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,900
-and at least get the film seen by some people?
-No.
437
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,140
They show it with
the BBFC certificate
or they don't get to show it at all.
438
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:46,700
We can't give in to censorship.
439
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:51,340
So you'd rather censor yourselves?
Yes. It's half logical, half silly.
440
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:55,260
Out of interest, how much revenue
will we lose? Fifty percent?
Maybe more.
441
00:30:55,360 --> 00:31:02,380
All those in favour of
refusing the X certificate say
Eric is a money-grabbing bastard.
442
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,500
Eric is a money-grabbing bastard.
443
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,060
Eric is a money-grabbing bastard.
All right. I'll let Doug know.
444
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:14,300
I know various churches are writing
to their members to ask them to put
pressure on councils for a boycott.
445
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:19,160
Let's just hope our politicians to
do the right thing and don't act
out of cowardly self-interest.
446
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,900
♪ Soldiers of Christ, arise
447
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:42,820
FRONT BOTTOM!
448
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,640
♪ And put your armour on
449
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,160
♪ ..His eternal son
450
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:56,820
♪ Strong in the Lord of hosts
451
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:00,260
♪ And in his mighty power...
452
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,540
P-P-P-Power...
453
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,760
Oh, shit.
454
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,260
Hello.
455
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:07,860
I thought you didn't like conflict.
456
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,780
We are merely peacefully protesting.
457
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,420
Exercising our right to free speech.
458
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:17,520
Right. Thank you so much. Piss off.
459
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:31,840
You expecting anyone?
460
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:34,840
No.
461
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:43,100
Hello. Can I talk to you
about Life of Brian?
462
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,380
Yes, but can I talk to YOU
about Life of Brian?
463
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,340
Great...What? No, never mind.
464
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:52,740
We'd like you to sign our petition
to help get Life of Brian banned.
I don't think it should be banned.
465
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,220
We believe it's evil and
should be banned. Would you
like to come in and discuss it?
466
00:32:56,320 --> 00:33:00,860
No! Nothing to discuss, it's
blasphemous and it should be banned.
Can you sign our petition?
467
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,520
Can you explain to me
why it should be banned?
468
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:06,940
Look, you're wasting my time.
469
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,740
I have other people to talk to
who want to sign my petition.
470
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,220
Don't you think
it's worth talking over?
Maybe you can persuade me to sign?
471
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,340
Maybe I'll persuade you
why people shouldn't sign?
472
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,820
Are you trying to brainwash me?
473
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,380
No, I just want to have
a conversation with you.
474
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,460
There's no conversation to be had.
475
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,340
Do you want to sign my petition? No.
476
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:26,460
Why not? I'm not convinced the
film should be banned. Why not?
477
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,340
Did you write it? Er, yes.
478
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:30,940
Oh, I see.
479
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,580
You're one of them.
480
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:36,740
It's not Invasion of the
Bodysnatchers. Deny it if you can -
you're one of them.
481
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,260
Why would I deny it? I just told you.
You can't. You can't deny it.
482
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:43,740
I don't want to deny it! You see!
I do see, because I told you.
483
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,880
You're one of them.
God, are we still on this?
Yes, I am one of them.
484
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,100
So will you sign
my petition or not?
485
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,240
No. Why not? Oh...
486
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:00,220
We want to have a debate
about the Life of Brian.
487
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:03,260
Well, that sounds tremendous.
488
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,540
And we wondered if you, the
People's Church of St Sophia,
would like to come on the show?
489
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,220
Us?
490
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:15,020
On the show?
I don't think that's a good idea.
491
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,860
Why not? Well, I can't.
492
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,900
I don't like conflict.
493
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,580
What about you two?
494
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:24,700
N-N-N-N-N-N...
495
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,140
That's a no. Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y
496
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,580
Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y...
497
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,780
That's a yes. As in yes, it's a no.
He has a stammer.
498
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,160
And you, Desmond?
Would you like to come on the show?
499
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,500
Come on! Speak up!
500
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,380
I had no idea he was going to say
that. Really, I had no idea.
501
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,380
I've had that Friday Night,
Saturday Morning on the phone again.
502
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,020
Want to know
if you've changed your minds.
503
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,100
The exact words were
"being as it's all gone tits up".
504
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:56,540
No, there's no point. Everyone's
mind up their minds already.
You can't persuade anyone.
505
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:58,820
I think we should.
You said no before!
506
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,580
No, I didn't. Yes, you did!
507
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,620
No, I didn't. Well, you said yes.
508
00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:06,660
So, I've changed my mind.
Oh, so you're just being contrary.
509
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:07,700
No, I'm not.
510
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,140
I'm really not.
511
00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:11,660
I think we can persuade people.
512
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,620
We are intelligent men.
513
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:18,860
Well, you might struggle
with your flabby Oxford minds.
514
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,860
No danger of that with our sharper
Cambridge intellects.
515
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:28,020
And I, for one, think it's vital
we exercise our right to free speech
to defend free speech.
516
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,880
No. Everyone's entrenched.
It's utterly futile.
517
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:38,520
Fuck! We can't have spunked it.
518
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,860
There must be something we can do.
Try their agent again.
519
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,580
Not going to happen. All right.
520
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:47,140
We ring Ken, get the Nine o'clock
News to pump up the story
even bigger
521
00:35:47,240 --> 00:35:49,980
so they have to defend themselves.
You can't do that.
522
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,700
Or we send them death threats.
That's not very nice. Someone
will do it. I'm sure they will.
523
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:59,820
All right we send them a shit in the
post. What? Something to rile
them... stir them into action.
524
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:03,060
No, I don't want to do that. Shh.
No, Ian said... Shh.
525
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,720
Don't tell me to... Shh.
526
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,640
But I...
SHHH!
527
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,100
And what did the police say?
528
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,140
They said, "Can you think of anyone
who might want to send you faeces?"
529
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:21,420
What did you say to that?
I said, "Yes. Jesus.
Anyone who likes Jesus.
530
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:27,220
"Businessmen, philosophers, upper
class twits, Australians, women,
TV presenters, Alan Whicker,
531
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:31,940
"The Beatles, Yorkshiremen,
anyone who works in the production
or marketing of Spam, men who say,
532
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:36,340
"'Nudge nudge', knights who say
Ni!' and anyone who doesn't
like jokes about ocelots.
533
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:40,580
"You know, Officer. The usual."
What did you actually say?
534
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:44,940
I said, "Have you tried Derek
'So Mad He Shits In A Box' McNee
at Number 24?"
535
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,580
What did you actually say?
I said no. Happy now?
536
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,900
I said, "No, I do not know anyone
who hates me enough to send
me poo in the post,
537
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,420
apart from the other Pythons.
What did they say?
538
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,540
They said,
"Nothing we can do, I'm afraid,
539
00:36:55,640 --> 00:37:00,340
"unless someone threatens you or
attacks you." Oh, for fuck's sake!
And they can't trace it?
540
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,340
No, to be fair to them it's
not like there was a trail of shit
541
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,140
leading out the door to a man
trying to do up his trousers.
542
00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:07,020
And they can't do anything forensic?
543
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,500
No, each shit is not unique.
They're not fingerprints.
544
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,020
Some of them can be quite swirly.
545
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,080
Yes,
546
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,540
but we cannot identify people
from their shit.
547
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,100
Shits do not look like their owners.
Which is lucky, because
548
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:23,020
otherwise we'd have old ladies
standing round lavatories cooing,
"Ooh, it's the spit of you."
549
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,420
Hello, Barry. Have you heard
about Eric's shit in a box?
550
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:29,180
Oh, right, you've had one too?
Yeah, we've had some here.
551
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:33,740
Now while I've got you all here,
I've been told in the light
of the current situation,
552
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,480
I need to ask you all to make wills.
553
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:41,100
It's just shit, Barry.
I think the worst that can
happen is we go blind, isn't it?
554
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:45,420
Yeah, we've had death threats...
What? It's just jokes
for fuck's sake.
555
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,740
What happened to sticks and
stones may break my bones
but names can never hurt me?
556
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,860
I told you! What did I say!
557
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,340
The great British Public
are fucking bastards.
558
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:57,060
It's a bit apocalyptic, isn't it?
A third part of the sea became blood
559
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:01,220
and people didst shit into a box
and threaten to kill thy comedy
performers for no good reason.
560
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,620
Look, do you want to back down?
561
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:07,900
We could withdraw the film like
Kubrick did with Clockwork Orange?
562
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,620
All right, don't answer that now.
563
00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:16,040
Maybe just go away, have a think
about it, talk to your families.
564
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:21,380
All those in favour of maintaining
our zero-tolerance stance to
censorship say Mrs Niggerbaiter.
565
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,760
Mrs Niggerbaiter.
566
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,580
You seem worried.
567
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:33,260
How can you tell? Well, you're
pacing, which you don't normally do.
568
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,220
And you're smoking,
which you don't normally do.
569
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,100
Well, I admit I am worried.
570
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:41,300
You can't take it personally.
How can I not take it personally?
571
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,720
They're burning an effigy of me
in my own garden.
572
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,700
They're just weird.
573
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,300
Close the window, darling.
It smells of burning you.
574
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,420
This is ridiculous.
How did this get so out of hand?
575
00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,340
I think it's because you made that
film making fun of their religion.
576
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:04,100
Maybe I should go on Friday Night,
Saturday Morning? Would that help?
577
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,180
Don't ask me, darling,
I'm just a pretty face.
578
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:10,380
What if it just makes things worse?
Just fans the flames?
579
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,780
Sorry! We set fire to your tree. Â
580
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,200
Oh, for God's sake.
581
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,540
Can I just say...
582
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:45,300
it's been a tremendous honour
for me to help prepare your wills.
583
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:49,820
As well as getting your signatures,
I was wondering if I could also
584
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,120
get your autographs?
585
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,940
Wrong time?
586
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,920
Wrong time. Sorry.
587
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,460
Terry says
you've had to make a will.
588
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,300
It's just a precaution, Mum,
it's nothing to worry about.
589
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,100
No. Why would I worry about my
son making fun of religion and
being murdered by a fanatic?
590
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,620
No, I won't be losing any sleep
over that one. Perfectly normal.
591
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:22,260
My friend Elaine...
her son's just been stabbed
for pulling a face at a Buddhist.
592
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,500
Happens all the time.
593
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,740
Honestly, mum. They've just
done it to cover themselves.
594
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:30,540
Besides, if the protestors wanted to
kill anyone it would probably
be John. He's the annoying one.
595
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,700
Did you make a proper will?
596
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,460
Or have you promised to leave
all your money to a penguin?
597
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,820
And a rickshaw to a Spaniard?
No, it's a proper will.
598
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:39,920
So it is a proper will.
So I should be worried.
599
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:42,960
What are you trying to do, Michael?
600
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,620
Are you willy waving at Jesus?
601
00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:48,420
Sh! Mum, we're in a restaurant.
602
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,820
Why make fun of religion?
We're not. And even if we were...
603
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:52,700
is that so bad?
604
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:57,260
Look how much you're upsetting
people. You might think they're
stupid people. Or priggish people.
605
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,340
But they're real people.
606
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,620
Why are their thoughts and
feelings less important than yours?
607
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:04,380
Well, why are my feelings less
important than theirs?
608
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,000
Oh...
609
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:11,020
I just don't understand why
you're doing this, Michael.
610
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:13,080
I want to understand.
611
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,160
I just don't.
612
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:40,300
I've changed my mind
about the debate.
613
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,020
I think we should do it. Why?
614
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,660
Because this is getting out of hand.
615
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:51,220
We've got an orchestrated
campaign against us. We've been
banned by 39 local councils.
616
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:55,020
We're only opening in one cinema.
People who work for us
are getting death threats
617
00:41:55,120 --> 00:42:00,880
and there are people outside right
now praying that we withdraw
the film and renounce our sins.
618
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:08,300
Renounce your sins! Go away!
619
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,260
You're sinister and intimidating!
620
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,980
We are not sinister or intimidating!
621
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:17,620
We are merely following you
and watching you.
622
00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:20,900
Like the Lord is watching you.
623
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,900
Always and forever.
624
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,480
I'M SPARTACUS!
625
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,480
 WANKER!
626
00:42:32,720 --> 00:42:35,980
We've got to stick up for ourselves.
If we don't stand up for ourselves
627
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,060
who's going to stand up for all the
other comedians who come after us?
628
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:42,380
We need to take a stand to allow
funny men and women everywhere to
629
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:49,020
make jokes about murder and rape and
projectile vomiting and handicapped
kiddies and Mohammed in a bear suit
630
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:53,380
and I don't know, Olympic swimmers
with faces like spoons.
631
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,060
Mike's got a point.
I agree. You should do it.
632
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,980
No. No way. Not at all, I'm out.
633
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,980
Please, John. I know you love
being contrary. No I don't.
634
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:06,780
But on this, can't you see? It's
them we should be disagreeing with,
not each other.
635
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,380
I think you should do it.
636
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,580
You and John.
637
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:12,380
And why us, pray tell?
638
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:16,660
Because you're good
at shouting at people
and being enormously sarcastic.
639
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,700
And Mike's the nicest man in the
world. You're the perfect team.
640
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:24,140
I can't do it, because
Christians and homosexuals can't be
in the same room together.
641
00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:28,700
We're their natural predators.
Terry G can't do it
because he's American
642
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:33,380
and I think deep down
none of us like or trust Americans.
No offence, Terry.
643
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:37,820
Screw you, ass-monkey. Terry J
can't do it because he'll just
prattle on about the camera angles.
644
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:40,540
And Eric won't do it because
they won't pay him. Exactly.
645
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:44,300
So you two have to do it. All those
in favour say Christ on a gondola.
646
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,520
Christ on a gondola.
647
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,820
Come on, John.
You can shout at a man in a dress.
648
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,180
It'll be like doing the show again.
649
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,420
I thought you said
there was no point,
650
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,820
that everyone
had made up their mind.
651
00:43:56,920 --> 00:44:01,780
I spoke to my mum. She said she
doesn't understand why we've done it.
652
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,820
She wants to but she doesn't.
653
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,820
I think maybe there are other
people like that out there.
654
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:11,380
Is this about them, or about you and
your mum? Oh, please, John.
655
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,020
I'm asking nicely.
656
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:15,700
Well, you would, wouldn't you?
657
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:20,960
Fine. Fine,
no don't do it, I'll do it myself.
658
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,780
No, fine.
659
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:33,240
I can't let you have all the fun.
660
00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:36,820
I'll do it.
661
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,340
Christ on a gondola.
662
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:39,520
Christ on a gondola.
663
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:56,400
Oh, sorry love.
664
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,860
Was Terry there tonight?
665
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:06,940
Yes.
666
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:08,900
I like Terry.
667
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,120
He's my favourite.
668
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,020
John's coming round tomorrow.
669
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,540
Homework. For the debate.
670
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,620
Are you sure it's a good
idea to do that show?
671
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,540
Why?
672
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,100
Well, what if the
debate doesn't go ok?
673
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,540
What if it makes things worse?
674
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,840
Then we'll move to Mexico
and change our names.
675
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:36,960
I'll start a new life
as Miguel Palinez
and work as a guacamole inspector.
676
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,460
Don't expect me to go with you.
677
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:18,780
Hey. I thought you said even if all
the religious leaders of the world
denounced me you'd stick by me.
678
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:23,520
I just don't want to see you
murdered by some religious maniac.
679
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,720
You put that away.
680
00:46:35,720 --> 00:46:40,300
What? We've got the Pythons! Cleese
and Palin confirmed this morning!
681
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:43,980
YEEEEES! ONE-NIL! KEMPES!
682
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:45,580
Bloody brilliant!
683
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,620
Come here and give me a hug!
684
00:46:47,720 --> 00:46:51,160
I don't want to give you a hug,
Alan. Come on, give me a hug!
685
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:54,460
So how did we do it?
686
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,740
I asked Iain. He knows them.
687
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,260
I told you that. Iain...? Iain.
688
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:01,940
Iain Johnstone.
689
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:03,460
Never heard of him.
690
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:08,280
So,...who's heard about Frank Bough?
HE SNIGGERS
691
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,980
You know, sometimes I truly
despise this country.
692
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:18,020
The descent into yobbery
goes on unabated.
693
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,420
Do you know I just saw two teenagers
spitting in the street?
694
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:23,540
Do you think they know that's how TB
spreads? Of course they don't.
Do they care?
695
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,500
No.
696
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:29,740
I blame the Tories. Things would be
a lot different if the Lib Dems
were in power, that's for sure.
697
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:32,780
The Lib Dems? There's no such thing
as the Lib Dems.
698
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:34,760
Don't you mean the Liberals? Shh.
699
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,660
So I've been doing
a spot of homework.
700
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:41,220
Right. Crikey.
701
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:44,980
Someone's taking it all
very seriously.
702
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,780
Any idea who we're up against?
703
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:49,460
Funny you should ask that.
704
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:52,940
Not a clue. So who
are we gonna put 'em up against?
705
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:57,100
Well, I still think we can
still get a couple of bishops.
Two bishops? No. Way too dry.
706
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:01,300
About as dry as a dry roasted peanut
up a dead nun's noo-noo.
707
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,620
No, we need a comedy type person on.
708
00:48:03,720 --> 00:48:06,020
You know there are comedy people
who are Christian. Really?
709
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:09,300
I know. Weird, isn't it?
710
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,500
What about Malcolm Muggeridge?
711
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:15,860
Malcolm Muggeridge?
The hard-drinking, chain-smoking,
womanising Malcolm Muggeridge?
712
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:21,560
Yeah. The hard-drinking,
chain-smoking, womanising,
BORN-AGAIN Malcolm Muggeridge.
713
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,340
It says here he's famously contrary.
714
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,940
His maxim is, 'only dead fish
swim with the stream'.
715
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:35,520
Great. Whatever happens,
he'll be dynamite TV.
716
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:42,340
Are you sure you want
this guy on the show?
717
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,200
Yes. He'll bring gravitas.
718
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,660
Look. He used to do comedy.
Now he does religion.
719
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:57,220
And he likes to go on TV and say
shit he knows will wind people up.
720
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:02,300
He could only be better if he had
tits like Cleo Rocos and did
the splits like Nadia Comaneci.
721
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:05,260
But what if...
I'm ignoring that last bit...
722
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:10,340
what if he ends up siding with
the Pythons? According to this he
was in a similar situation once.
723
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,840
There was some big outcry
about an article he wrote.
724
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:16,860
What the hell were you thinking?
725
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:18,620
Have you read it?
I don't need to read it, Malcolm,
726
00:49:18,720 --> 00:49:21,580
it's called, "Does England
Really Need A Queen?"
727
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:25,220
You might as well have called
it, "I Think It's Acceptable
To Masturbate Into Marmalade".
728
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,100
What the bloody hell were you
thinking, man? Fuss over nothing.
729
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:31,500
I said pretty much the same thing
in another piece about two years ago.
730
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:33,660
That's as maybe but no-one
complained about that one.
731
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:37,300
They are complaining about this one
because they find it offensive,
and quite rightly so.
732
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:40,500
How can it possibly be offensive?
It's only a thought.
733
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:44,540
I hear Beaverbrook's cancelling
your contract. Apparently.
734
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,340
I'm sorry to hear that, Malcolm,
but you've brought this on yourself.
735
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:51,260
We have to let you go.
It's the BBC, for God's sake,
we've got certain standards.
736
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,140
No hard feelings? Towards you?
737
00:49:54,240 --> 00:49:55,740
Not at all.
738
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:57,360
Good. Come on.
739
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:04,620
I've shagged his wife.
Who? Marjorie?
740
00:50:04,720 --> 00:50:06,980
No, Olivia.
741
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,740
That's MY wife.
742
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,460
Oh, then I've shagged YOUR wife.
743
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:14,620
Sorry about that.
Lovely woman though.
744
00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:17,780
Makes a wonderful breakfast.
745
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:19,780
Maybe he'll side with the Pythons.
746
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:22,020
Maybe not. That's the beauty of it.
747
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:23,980
The guy's totally unpredictable.
748
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:28,420
He's a riddle wrapped in
a mystery inside a...shit.
749
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:34,260
Maybe he'll argue with the Pythons
AND the Bishop and we've got a
three-way fist fight. Love it.
750
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,840
Post me my Bafta.
751
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,140
OK. I'm the bishop.
752
00:50:41,240 --> 00:50:46,300
Right. Why have you deliberately
set out to offend people of faith?
753
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:52,380
Well, Bishop, it wasn't our
intention to deliberately offend
Christians or to be blasphemous.
754
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:56,260
I totally disagree with that.
Sorry, is this you in character
or are you talking as you?
755
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:57,820
I'm talking as me.
756
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,460
Talk to Graham about it.
Ask him what he thinks.
757
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:04,700
He's not that keen on Christians
because they're not that keen
on homosexuals.
758
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,180
I don't think we intended to be
offensive just for the sake of it.
759
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,700
There's nothing wrong
with being offensive.
760
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:11,500
It's part of life.
761
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,740
If you get offended, so what?
762
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:15,660
In a way, it's a good thing.
763
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:18,900
It tells you
you're still alive at least.
764
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,460
Why can't I say things
to offend you?
765
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,100
Why can't I say
I don't like your hair?
766
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:29,500
Or your wife looks like a man
and makes fucking awful soup.
What's the worst that can happen?
767
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,140
Hello, John. Oh, hello.
768
00:51:32,240 --> 00:51:34,060
Didn't realise you were...
Cup of tea?
769
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:37,700
I can put the kettle on, although
I don't think it'll suit me.
770
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:42,300
Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
771
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:46,460
Very good! Very good. Well done.
772
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,540
Most amusing. Tres amusant.
773
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:52,580
No, we're fine, thank you,
most kind of you to ask.
774
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:54,820
We're-We're-We're-We're fine.
775
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:59,560
Sure I can't I get you anything?
Glass of cordial? Spot of soup?
776
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:03,300
No, we're fine, thank you.
777
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,040
Although your soup
is always delightful.
778
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:17,620
Right. Where was I?
779
00:52:17,720 --> 00:52:21,900
Being offensive. Being offensive,
thank you. What is the worst
that could happen?
780
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,380
You'll stop talking to me?
Heaven forfend!
781
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:26,660
What will probably happen?
782
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:29,500
You'll be upset for a bit
and then forget about it.
783
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,420
What's the best that can happen?
784
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,420
Maybe you'll think
"John's got a point.
785
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,900
"My wife does look like a man
786
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,380
"and her soup does taste fucking
awful. Maybe I should leave her."
787
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:42,460
I've been able to keep
my marriage together thanks.
788
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:44,860
That's the spirit!
789
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,740
Besides, we haven't
been offensive, Mike.
790
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:49,860
People just like complaining.
791
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:51,860
The British love complaining.
792
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:55,180
Complaining about the weather,
complaining about the government,
793
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:58,260
the fucking darkies, the fucking
queers, Noel fucking Edmonds
794
00:52:58,360 --> 00:52:59,940
and his Multi-Cunting Swap Shop.
795
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:03,860
When it comes to the British
you can't please any of the people
796
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:06,860
any of the time, and you know why
they like complaining so much?
797
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:10,660
Maybe because deep down they know
there is no fucking God and it takes
798
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:16,400
their mind off the fact that their
lives are a pathetic sham that won't
amount to a hill of shitty beans.
799
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,420
Are you going to be like this
on the TV?
800
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,160
Yes, I am.
801
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,500
So what about our bishop?
802
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:31,900
He can't be too serious
but he can't be too flippant.
803
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:35,200
How will we find the best bishop?
804
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:52,120
Hmm, no.
805
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:53,820
No.
806
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:54,900
No.
807
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,360
Ooh, no.
808
00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,860
Him. He's perfect.
809
00:53:59,960 --> 00:54:04,640
Are you sure? Oh, yes.
He's absolutely mad.
810
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:10,180
You know what? We should just go
on this show and make fun of God.
811
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,660
Yes, that would be helpful.
812
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:17,300
What if the Christians
just attack us?
It's a rational argument.
813
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:19,060
It's a debate.
814
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:20,740
I think we go on the attack.
815
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:25,420
"Bishop. You work for an
organisation that is closely
associated with kiddie fiddling.
816
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:29,420
"Where do you stand on
the issue of child rape?
Good Christian behaviour?"
817
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:32,180
Yes, that's helpful, John, thanks.
818
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:33,780
Well, let's not take it
too seriously.
819
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:35,580
We could go on in fancy dress.
820
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:37,740
I could go on dressed as Christ.
You can go on dressed as Satan.
821
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,020
We both go on dressed as Mary.
822
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,140
Or babies wearing nappies.
Or apostles wearing nappies.
823
00:54:42,240 --> 00:54:45,340
And bondage gear. You've got
to take this seriously, John.
824
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:48,220
There are people working for us
who have had death threats.
825
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:50,660
They're not important.
They're the little people.
826
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:52,380
They're expendable. What?
827
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,500
I'm joking.
828
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:56,500
It's not very funny.
829
00:54:56,600 --> 00:55:01,020
I think it is. I don't think it is.
You've gone too far. No I haven't.
830
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:03,540
And even if I had,
you could pretend I hadn't.
831
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:05,100
You can ignore me.
832
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:06,940
Or you could stop being my friend.
833
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:08,780
God, you're difficult. No, I'm not.
834
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:12,260
Yes, you are. Right. That's it.
835
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:15,300
Enough is enough.
836
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:18,040
It doesn't have to be like this.
837
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:41,460
I look inside you, Palin,
and all I see is weakness.
838
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,860
I look inside you and see hatred.
839
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:47,140
Give in to hatred.
Hating things is funny.
840
00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:50,500
No, never. I'd rather be nice.
841
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,960
Sorry. No offence.
842
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:58,180
Stop being nice, you soppy bastard.
843
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:01,800
That's it, run away, run away from
the fight, you big chicken.
844
00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:08,320
You all right, John?
Hang on, I'm coming. Got you!
845
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:17,040
Bloody BBC, they should
have had stunt men for this.
846
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:22,060
Who won? No idea.
You should have storyboarded it.
847
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,740
I did do a storyboard it but I left
it by the window and it blew away.
848
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:29,020
Well, maybe shut the fucking window.
I know but it adds an interesting
visual texture to the room...
849
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:31,420
I'll just see you at TV Centre
tomorrow, shall I?
850
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:33,460
John, what are you going to say
on the show?
851
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:39,300
I'm going to talk about how
Fawlty Towers is much funnier than
Ripping Yarns. Seriously, John.
852
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:42,580
I'm going to be as offensive as
possible. This is important, John.
853
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,900
This isn't just the future
of comedy we're arguing for,
854
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:46,460
this is free speech.
855
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:48,220
I believe in free speech, Mike.
856
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:50,540
That's why I can't
let you censor me.
857
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:54,680
That's why I'm going to say
whatever the fuck I like.
858
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:59,820
Arse...Balls...Prick...
859
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:01,440
..Shit.
860
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,300
Thank you and good night.
861
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:11,280
♪ Balls and bugger and shits and
tits and a whole lot of fanny... ♪
862
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,420
How did it go with John today?
863
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:32,820
He thinks I'm taking it
all too seriously.
864
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:35,660
And are you? I don't know.
865
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,900
What's more important
than making fun of things?
866
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,460
If we're not allowed to make fun
of things that take themselves
867
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:45,220
too seriously, how do we
stop them from taking over the world?
868
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:47,860
What happens if the comedians
take themselves too seriously?
869
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:50,180
Comedians are allowed to
take themselves too seriously
870
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:53,020
because they're special
and better than everyone else.
871
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,400
Oh, really? Yes.
872
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,020
I can't think straight any more.
873
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:02,140
Come to bed.
You've done too much homework.
874
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:05,280
If you don't know why
comedians are better than
God now, you'll never know.
875
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:09,920
I should probably do
a bit more prep, love.
876
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:23,880
Fancy a bunk-up?
877
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,720
Yeah, go on then.
878
00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:40,920
Do you ever think
that we're persecuting the Pythons?
879
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:45,620
No. They're persecuting us.
880
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,420
Thousands of films get made
every year.
881
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:53,140
So one happens to be a comedy
about religion.
Is that them focusing on us?
882
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:56,820
Or are we focusing on them?
883
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:58,100
WEIRDO!
884
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:01,140
Are you having a moment of doubt,
Doubting Desmond?
885
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:04,820
PATRONISING TIT! No. No.
886
00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:08,280
Just, you know,
playing devil's advocate. PISS OFF!
887
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:14,660
Desmond, swearing...
888
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:17,340
Yes, yes. I am aware of it.
889
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:22,720
It's never deliberate, is it?
No. No. LIAR! No.
890
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:26,880
Good. Good.
891
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:33,240
Oh, not again.
892
01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:12,040
You're not the nicest man in the
world, you're a very naughty boy.
893
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:19,040
AGH! Run for it! I'm running for it!
894
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:26,820
Oh, hello. You're awake. Um...
895
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:30,980
This is awkward. The thing is,
I really don't like conflict.
896
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:36,760
but you made fun of my
all-loving, all-forgiving God,
so I'm going to kill you.
897
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:38,840
Tent peg.
898
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:04,520
You're still dreaming.
899
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:24,940
And then Jesus popped up on a
piece of toast. And there was John...
900
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:27,700
dressed in a giant rabbit costume
saying, "You're still dreaming."
901
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:31,460
What does that mean? We've always
been quite close, haven't we? Yes.
902
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:35,360
Well, until this is all over,
just stay away from me.
903
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:38,340
I'm still dreaming, aren't I?
904
01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:43,320
Yeah, you are. Please stop staring
at my penis. It's disturbing.
905
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:50,600
Probably shouldn't
have had that cheese.
906
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:58,300
Tonight on Friday Night,
Saturday Morning, Michael Palin
and John Cleese will
907
01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:01,020
debate the film The Life of Brian
with...
908
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:04,500
You'll be all right. You're
quite good at public speaking.
909
01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:08,580
Cup of tea. "We interrupt our
current programming...
910
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:11,620
I have faith in you.
Thanks, love.
911
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:16,340
"The film The Life of
Brian has just opened in London.
912
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:20,900
"I have not seen it and
I suppose I am unlikely to do so.
913
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:25,020
"However, members will have seen
the reviews and will be aware that
914
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:28,740
"there is a great deal of concern
throughout the country about it.
915
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:33,220
"For the immediate future
it will be up to Christian people
916
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:38,340
"and others who share this concern
to ensure that in this case
as in other cases
917
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:43,740
"where it seems that
a film has been made which
devalues humanity in their own areas
918
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:50,100
"the local viewing committee is
alerted to the need to see the film
before it is publicly shown and
919
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:58,080
"having done so, to take responsible
decisions as to whether and on what
conditions it should be shown.
920
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:20,660
"Be sober, be vigilant..."
921
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:29,100
because thy adversary the devil,
as a roaring lion, walketh about
seeking whom he may devour.
922
01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:32,420
Very definitely at the beginning.
923
01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:35,080
Three Wise Men arrive and...
924
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:41,920
I can rely on you, can't I, John?
925
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:46,420
John!
926
01:03:46,520 --> 01:03:50,220
Sorry, miles away. Wondering
what to have for dinner.
927
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:52,620
What do you think? Fish?
928
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:54,660
God, you're a difficult bastard.
929
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:57,300
Mike, don't say that.
Doesn't suit you.
930
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:59,260
You're the Nicest Man in the World.
931
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,820
And you're the most disrespectful,
disagreeable, objectionable,
932
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,500
obnoxious and annoying man
in the world. That's right.
933
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:06,380
I fought very hard for that title.
934
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:08,380
Wasn't easy to wrest it away
from Michael Winner.
935
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,820
John, this is important.
936
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:14,100
Don't put so much pressure on
yourself. It's only a chat show.
937
01:04:14,200 --> 01:04:16,100
It's not though, is it?
This is about the future of comedy.
938
01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:17,900
It might even be about
the future of religion.
939
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,580
Well, I wish I believed we were
that important but I don't.
940
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:23,460
Well, if we're not, why are so
many people protesting against us?
941
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,180
This must be Harry.
942
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:27,220
Try to be nice. Of course.
943
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,060
Hi! Harry Balls.
944
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:33,580
Lovely to meet you, Harry!
Harry Balls! Jolly good!
945
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:35,780
Thanks
for agreeing to come on the show.
946
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:37,340
Who can resist Harry Balls?
947
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:40,940
Everyone wants to see Harry Balls.
I have a...
948
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:43,180
Can't think of anywhere we'd
rather be.
949
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:45,220
Tell me, will we be seeing Mr Dick?
950
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:47,380
Yes, he'll pop in. Will he?
951
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:49,540
Will he indeed?
I'll look forward to that.
952
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:52,380
Right, shall we...
953
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:55,760
Remind me, is Dick above Balls?
954
01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:01,460
Hey! Look who's here.
The sacrificial lamb.
955
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:04,540
It's M-M-Monty Python!
956
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,020
FAMOUS! Don't be seduced.
957
01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:09,500
So was Adolf Hitler
and Aleister Crowley.
958
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:15,580
Who? What? Michael, John
- Alan Dick, Head of BBC Talk.
959
01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:19,700
So, looking forward to
seeing who's going to win this one.
960
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:22,380
Tim!
This is your host for the evening.
961
01:05:22,480 --> 01:05:26,740
Tim Rice. Hello, guys, hi. Thanks
so much for coming on the show.
962
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:30,380
Listen, obviously, my role
is to be impartial.
963
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:32,660
But I just want to say I know
exactly what you're going through.
964
01:05:32,760 --> 01:05:37,180
When we did Jesus Christ Superstar
in 1971 it got accused of blasphemy.
965
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:39,460
Admittedly, I did
co-write it with Beelzebub.
966
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:42,780
Now, of course, it's the height of
respectability. I tell you what...
967
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:45,100
I wouldn't mind
having a hit musical.
968
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:49,580
That's got to be worth a few quid.
If only I had an idea for one.
969
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:52,900
Well, you could always do what we did
and lovingly rip off a story
that already exists.
970
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:57,500
So, John, will we be seeing
any Basil Fawlty tonight?
971
01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:02,400
Actually, Tim, if you don't
mind, I'd rather you directed
most of the questions at Michael.
972
01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:08,460
Oh, right, OK, yes, fine by me.
We're ready. See you in there.
973
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:10,540
Um...what?
974
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:14,020
Suddenly feel quite nervous
for some reason. What about me.
975
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:17,660
It's all right for you,
you draw confidence from your
spirituality, don't you?
976
01:06:17,760 --> 01:06:22,360
Malcolm Muggeridge. Good evening,
good evening, hello, hello.
977
01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:34,280
Wow. That is one big motherfuckin' Bishop.
978
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:43,720
Ah, Bishop. Alan Dick,
979
01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:47,780
Let me introduce you
to your opponents.
980
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:50,700
John, Michael, this is...a bishop.
981
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:52,780
Best of luck for the show.
982
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:55,460
Break a leg, as they say.
983
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:57,900
This is not the bishop I wanted.
984
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:01,840
Iain said he'd be better.
Who the fuck is Iain?
985
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,220
Are you expecting vampires?
986
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:09,900
Come on, Joan.
You'll have to be funnier than that.
987
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,940
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
988
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:16,700
You pompous arse.
I'll take that crucifix and
I'll garrotte you with it.
989
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:18,580
Lovely cassock, Bishop.
990
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:20,740
Very flattering.
991
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:24,380
Thank you, Joan. You're too kind.
992
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:26,180
Ready to go?
993
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:29,620
So remember. The key points are
we didn't kill Jesus.
994
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:31,980
That was the Jews. If you're
going to be angry with anyone...
995
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:35,740
blame the Jews. Plus the Monty
Python Scrapbook available now
in all good bookshops.
996
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:39,020
How do we look?
Good. Fine. Yup.
997
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:40,700
Shit scared.
998
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:43,040
We should probably be going...
999
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:51,460
OK, let's shake a leg, people.
1000
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:53,860
Let's smash the arse off of it.
1001
01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:55,500
Cue titles.
1002
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:59,500
"# Friday night, Saturday morning
1003
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:03,140
"# By yesterday's dawn
there's a weekend dawning
1004
01:08:03,240 --> 01:08:08,420
"# Friday night,
Saturday morning at last...
1005
01:08:08,520 --> 01:08:12,060
You know, I find these opening
credits quite offensive.
1006
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,260
Yes.
1007
01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:15,980
As a woman.
1008
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:19,160
Yes. Yes, I knew what you meant.
1009
01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:28,420
This is all a bit heterosexual,
isn't it.
1010
01:08:28,520 --> 01:08:30,020
Yes, I rather like it.
1011
01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:34,840
Please welcome one third of Monty Python,
Michael Palin and John Cleese.
1012
01:08:45,240 --> 01:08:48,620
Cracked. BBC cutbacks.
1013
01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:52,900
So why the name Brian?
1014
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,100
It's one the funny names, isn't it?
1015
01:08:55,200 --> 01:08:58,100
Like Trevor or Kevin.
1016
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:04,780
It's just funny. So you must
have known you were heading for
criticism and controversy.
1017
01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:06,380
A) because you were well known
1018
01:09:06,480 --> 01:09:10,260
B) because, to put it mildly,
the subject matter is
quite well known.
1019
01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:15,940
Yes but we...we wrote an awful lot
which was then just thrown away
because it was sort of
1020
01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:19,340
struggling too hard to be
controversial or...
1021
01:09:19,440 --> 01:09:22,060
Well, actually,
I don't know if I agree with that.
1022
01:09:22,160 --> 01:09:27,260
Because I don't think that we were
coming in with stuff about Christ.
1023
01:09:27,360 --> 01:09:30,900
We all started
writing around the edges.
1024
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:35,780
All the people who arrived
five minutes after
the miracle being done.
1025
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,500
Come on, Tim.
1026
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:41,380
No more Mr Nicey-Ricey. Poke them.
Prod them. Get a reaction.
1027
01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:43,700
Weren't you all in some
danger of splitting up?
1028
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:45,860
Or, at least there was
some internal conflict.
1029
01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:48,380
Did the film in fact
bring you closer together?
1030
01:09:48,480 --> 01:09:55,020
Yes, I think it did. After the Grail
there was about a year spent sort
of in the wilderness, as it were.
1031
01:09:55,120 --> 01:09:57,960
Also, there was a stage
where we hated each other.
1032
01:09:59,480 --> 01:10:01,100
We're ready for you now.
"I never hated you."
1033
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:03,080
If He calls, we must answer.
1034
01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:06,060
"Whatever any of the others
may say, I always liked you."
1035
01:10:06,160 --> 01:10:08,320
Good luck, God bless.
1036
01:10:09,480 --> 01:10:11,180
A-A-A-men. HYMEN!
1037
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:13,980
"What about your solo projects?"
1038
01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:16,220
"Are there going to be
any more Ripping Yarns?
Any more Fawlty Towers?"
1039
01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:19,360
There'll be no more
Fawlty Towers, no.
1040
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:30,220
OK. In a moment we'll be joined
by two men who don't usually
review films.
1041
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:32,620
So this is it, then.
1042
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:38,020
In the red corner,
Organised Religion, the beliefs
of billions, and if He exists, God.
1043
01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:42,940
In the blue corner,
some men who like to get naked
and talk about moose choreography.
1044
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:45,160
Let battle commence.
1045
01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:51,860
"We're joined now by Mervyn
Stockwood, the Bishop of Southwark
and Malcolm Muggeridge.
1046
01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:53,780
What do you think's going to happen?
1047
01:10:53,880 --> 01:10:56,260
Who's going to win?
Well, obviously, I know already.
1048
01:10:56,360 --> 01:10:59,340
Don't tell me! I hate it when
you tell me how everything ends.
1049
01:10:59,440 --> 01:11:01,220
Well, let's just say...
1050
01:11:01,320 --> 01:11:05,800
I'm not listening, not listening.
Blblblblblblbl!
1051
01:11:11,320 --> 01:11:13,020
You've turned the beer
into water, haven't you?
1052
01:11:13,120 --> 01:11:15,700
Christ! I wish you'd grow up.
1053
01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:19,700
Bishop, what was your review?
1054
01:11:19,800 --> 01:11:24,060
People have said to me,
"Bishop, you'll be horrified."
1055
01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:28,660
But I wasn't the vicar of the
University Church for nothing.
1056
01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:31,700
I am familiar
with undergraduate humour.
1057
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:38,340
I'm also a governor
of a mentally-deficient school...
1058
01:11:38,440 --> 01:11:40,460
Oh, I like this guy!
1059
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:43,940
He's my kind of bishop! Horrible.
1060
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:50,980
It's the sort of thing, I'm sorry to
say, that at Cambridge the Footlights
did on a damp Tuesday afternoon,
1061
01:11:51,080 --> 01:11:54,820
"or the lower fourth
when I was a school master."
1062
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:57,140
Bit strange.
That's not very constructive.
1063
01:11:57,240 --> 01:11:59,340
I thought this was meant to
be a constructive debate.
1064
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:02,400
I wouldn't worry about it.
It's just a bit of banter, innit?
1065
01:12:02,640 --> 01:12:06,340
Why lampoon death? I think this
is the thing that really worried me.
1066
01:12:06,440 --> 01:12:10,520
I don't think you'd make
a farce about Auschwitz.
1067
01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:13,660
Good. Always good to play
the Auschwitz card early.
1068
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:15,980
Yeah. He won't have any
trouble topping that later.
1069
01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:19,540
When I look at that figure,
I know you're going to say
1070
01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:24,300
that Brian isn't Jesus but,
I mean, that is just rubbish.
1071
01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:30,180
The whole thing is quite clear,
if Jesus hadn't lived, that film
would not have been produced.
1072
01:12:30,280 --> 01:12:31,980
Come on, Tim! Stir it up some more!
1073
01:12:32,080 --> 01:12:33,740
"Call someone a shitbag."
1074
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:35,540
Pull a face like a mong.
1075
01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:37,660
Kick the bishop. Oh, dear God.
1076
01:12:37,760 --> 01:12:43,540
Could I bring in Malcolm and ask what
your review is like? Yes. Um.
1077
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:50,300
Remember that I was engaged for
four years in the appalling task of
trying to make English people laugh.
1078
01:12:50,400 --> 01:12:52,500
As editor of Punch.
1079
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:54,700
It's almost
an impossible thing to do.
1080
01:12:54,800 --> 01:13:01,380
I couldn't help feeling
enormous envy of the ease with which
1081
01:13:01,480 --> 01:13:04,020
this particular film
aroused laughter.
1082
01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:09,260
You simply had to use a four-letter
word or display a man's private
parts in the window and the whole
1083
01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:11,740
place fell on the ground with
laughter. What's wrong with that?
1084
01:13:11,840 --> 01:13:14,860
Swearing is funny.
Windows are funny.
1085
01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:19,420
My genitals are funny. And
that shot was beautifully framed.
Even the framing was funny.
1086
01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:21,860
Also, of course, I agree
entirely with the Bishop.
1087
01:13:21,960 --> 01:13:28,460
It's quite humbug to say that this
is not a ridiculing of the founder
of the Christian religion
1088
01:13:28,560 --> 01:13:32,740
and of the Incarnation in an
extremely cheap and tenth-rate way.
1089
01:13:32,840 --> 01:13:34,620
Rummenigge! Two-nil!
1090
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:38,020
Great stuff. Malcolm's
even better than the bishop.
1091
01:13:38,120 --> 01:13:40,900
Don't just believe because someone
tells you to, someone in the pulpit
1092
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:45,260
says something, question it,
work it out yourself.
1093
01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:49,100
Are you seriously suggesting
that someone who saw that film,
1094
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:53,500
say a young kid, who knew nothing
about the gospels or about history,
1095
01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:58,180
that the figure of Christ that would
emerge from it would be a noble one?
1096
01:13:58,280 --> 01:14:02,300
Well, it's not supposed to be
about him so people shouldn't go
and see it to learn about him.
1097
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:05,260
Well, it's no good saying
it's not about him...
I'm not being dishonest.
1098
01:14:05,360 --> 01:14:08,040
You're being utterly dishonest,
my dear chap.
1099
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:13,700
They're n-n-not letting the Pythons
h-h-have their s-s-s-say.
MOUTH NAZI!
1100
01:14:13,800 --> 01:14:16,420
I am very confused
and perturbed by a religion,
1101
01:14:16,520 --> 01:14:20,820
an established religion,
in this country
1102
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:27,620
where people can go into church
on a Sunday morning and the same
people can sing hymns and say prayers
1103
01:14:27,720 --> 01:14:32,020
and at the same time
these people can stand by while
1104
01:14:32,120 --> 01:14:38,100
their money is spent making bombs,
making guns, building up appalling
1105
01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:41,420
weapons of destruction...
they can sit by...
1106
01:14:41,520 --> 01:14:46,540
- I would urge you not to make
careless generalisations which
are not dependent on evidence.
1107
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:49,260
I... I make them in all humility...
1108
01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:52,020
I think the Pythons
are on the ropes here.
1109
01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:55,140
..but I have observed people...
1110
01:14:55,240 --> 01:14:59,780
- Because what you're saying,
if I may say so,
is a great load of sheer rubbish
1111
01:14:59,880 --> 01:15:07,220
and you've made the most ridiculous
generalisations which are unworthy
of an educated man.
1112
01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:12,500
This whole thing is wrong.
Wrong and really, really repugnant.
1113
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:14,940
Your lisp is getting worse.
It really is.
1114
01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:19,460
If you made that film about
Mohammed, you see, there would be
1115
01:15:19,560 --> 01:15:26,780
absolute hullabaloo in this country,
racial, anti-racialist people would
rise up in their might.
1116
01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:30,980
The same people who would approve of
this would have thought it quite
1117
01:15:31,080 --> 01:15:36,260
disgraceful and behind people's
minds would be the thought that
they might lose a bit of oil.
1118
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:38,380
But you see the difference.
1119
01:15:38,480 --> 01:15:41,300
Four hundred years ago we would
have been burnt for this film.
1120
01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:45,060
Now, I'm suggesting
we've made an advance.
1121
01:15:45,160 --> 01:15:46,780
I've never seen Mike this angry.
1122
01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:53,340
This isn't good. This great
drama of the incarnation you have
reduced to a sort of comic film.
1123
01:15:53,440 --> 01:15:58,980
You don't make people open
by producing the sort of
buffoonery that you have produced.
1124
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:00,700
You keep making
the basic assumption
1125
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:05,180
that we are ridiculing Christ
and Christ's teaching
and I say we are not.
1126
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:08,780
Do you imagine that your
scene, for instance,
of the Sermon on the Mount
1127
01:16:08,880 --> 01:16:15,140
is not ridiculing one of the most
sublime utterances that
1128
01:16:15,240 --> 01:16:18,980
any human being has ever spoken
on this earth? Course it is.
1129
01:16:19,080 --> 01:16:25,100
No, no, it's making fun of the guy
who's remembered it wrong and
the people who've missed the point.
1130
01:16:25,200 --> 01:16:29,300
Christ is played by an actor Ken
Colley, he speaks the words from the
sermon on the mount, he is treated
1131
01:16:29,400 --> 01:16:33,060
absolutely respectfully,
the camera then pans away,
1132
01:16:33,160 --> 01:16:36,700
right to the back of the crowd
to someone who shouts "speak up"
1133
01:16:36,800 --> 01:16:40,100
because they can not hear him.
Now if that utterly undermines
my faith in Christ then...
1134
01:16:40,200 --> 01:16:42,740
No, of course it doesn't
undermine it.
1135
01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:46,220
I started off by saying that
it is such a tenth-rate film
1136
01:16:46,320 --> 01:16:49,500
I don't believe it would disturb
anybody's faith...
1137
01:16:49,600 --> 01:16:53,820
Yes, you started with an
open mind, I realise that.
1138
01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:57,460
PALIN'S LOST IT!
STAY ON PALIN! STAY ON PALIN!
1139
01:16:57,560 --> 01:17:01,380
This is aw aw-awful.
1140
01:17:01,480 --> 01:17:03,220
They're behaving like total shits.
1141
01:17:03,320 --> 01:17:06,980
SHITS! Yes. It's not very Christian.
1142
01:17:07,080 --> 01:17:10,620
The question I put to you...
Could you really put your hand
on your heart
1143
01:17:10,720 --> 01:17:17,020
and say that film is going to help
the younger generation
in its pilgrimage for truth?
1144
01:17:17,120 --> 01:17:21,580
And the lampooning of Christ's death
is the most disgraceful part
of the whole thing.
1145
01:17:21,680 --> 01:17:24,820
You have succeeded
in reducing something
1146
01:17:24,920 --> 01:17:27,900
which has inspired
the greatest art
1147
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:32,660
into something which is
presented in terms of
the lowest art. That's your feat!
1148
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:35,040
That's your achievement!
1149
01:17:39,760 --> 01:17:42,800
My face! My beautiful face!
1150
01:17:43,440 --> 01:17:46,440
Oh, yes!
I have just come in my pants.
1151
01:17:46,720 --> 01:17:50,640
You're not funny! Go on, Mike!
Give him what for!
1152
01:17:53,520 --> 01:17:55,020
Please don't.
1153
01:17:55,120 --> 01:18:00,200
Stay out of it, Rice! This is gold!
Sit down or join in or fuck off!
1154
01:18:02,800 --> 01:18:04,760
Oh, I do love physical comedy.
1155
01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:13,100
What's going on?
1156
01:18:13,200 --> 01:18:18,820
I think we might be in
Michael Palin's fantasy sequence.
1157
01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:21,820
Oh, piss on me through a sieve!
1158
01:18:21,920 --> 01:18:25,400
Another fantasy sequence?
This is lame.
1159
01:18:26,920 --> 01:18:29,580
Gentlemen, I'm going to
have to call a halt.
1160
01:18:29,680 --> 01:18:34,300
I think you've made people happy
and made them think
and made them laugh.
1161
01:18:35,560 --> 01:18:40,540
Although you will get
your thirty pieces of silver.
Of that I'm quite sure.
1162
01:18:40,640 --> 01:18:42,420
That's ridiculously harsh.
1163
01:18:42,520 --> 01:18:44,460
Ow! Fuck.
1164
01:18:44,560 --> 01:18:46,420
R-really. YAHTZEE!
1165
01:18:46,520 --> 01:18:49,380
KRANKL! IT'S ALL OVER!
1166
01:18:49,480 --> 01:18:52,940
Is that a Bafta in my pocket?
No, I'm just pleased to see me.
1167
01:18:53,040 --> 01:18:55,380
And I've got a massive erection.
1168
01:18:55,480 --> 01:18:58,540
..you're seeing it in those terms
and it's utterly tragic.
1169
01:18:58,640 --> 01:19:00,340
Utterly tragic.
1170
01:19:00,440 --> 01:19:03,140
Gentlemen, thank you.
1171
01:19:03,240 --> 01:19:07,960
Now here's Paul Jones and
his Blues Band with Boom Boom,
Out Go The Lights.
1172
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:16,260
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
1173
01:19:16,360 --> 01:19:20,880
Damn and blast it all to hell!
1174
01:19:23,480 --> 01:19:25,900
You OK, Mike?
1175
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,380
Pissed off?
1176
01:19:28,480 --> 01:19:31,440
I can put you in touch
with a very good therapist.
1177
01:19:36,360 --> 01:19:38,340
Mike. Sorry. Joke.
1178
01:19:38,440 --> 01:19:40,060
Couldn't resist. Sorry.
1179
01:19:40,160 --> 01:19:43,060
I understand why you're angry,
of course I do. They didn't listen.
1180
01:19:43,160 --> 01:19:45,460
They didn't debate.
1181
01:19:45,560 --> 01:19:47,220
They just shouted us down
and played to the gallery.
1182
01:19:47,320 --> 01:19:49,100
We took it seriously and
they took the piss. I know.
1183
01:19:49,200 --> 01:19:53,060
And I thought you were going
to be swaggering and offensive.
1184
01:19:53,160 --> 01:19:55,980
Yes, well, I was kidding about that.
1185
01:19:56,080 --> 01:19:57,580
Shame.
1186
01:19:57,680 --> 01:20:01,460
It might actually have been useful
out there. You've changed your tune.
1187
01:20:01,560 --> 01:20:04,060
They mauled us, John.
They tore us to shreds.
1188
01:20:04,160 --> 01:20:05,940
Come for a drink.
1189
01:20:06,040 --> 01:20:09,100
No. No? No. No?
1190
01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:11,460
NO!
1191
01:20:11,560 --> 01:20:14,720
Why? Don't mock me, John.
1192
01:20:16,280 --> 01:20:17,960
All right, I'm not in the mood!
1193
01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:25,380
I do...
1194
01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:27,440
love you, M-Mike.
1195
01:20:43,480 --> 01:20:46,660
I know you! You're Michael Palin.
1196
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:50,980
Yes. You been doing some more of
your TV show? The Flying Circus one?
1197
01:20:51,080 --> 01:20:52,740
No. Probably just as well.
1198
01:20:52,840 --> 01:20:55,260
It was very hit and miss, wasn't it?
1199
01:20:55,360 --> 01:20:57,500
That's the problem with
sketch shows - very hit and miss.
1200
01:20:57,600 --> 01:20:59,580
So what were you doing then?
1201
01:20:59,680 --> 01:21:02,180
I've been on a debate.
1202
01:21:02,280 --> 01:21:04,060
Sorry, can we just go?
1203
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:08,180
Oh, yeah? Life of Brian thing is it?
You want to know what I think?
1204
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:10,780
I think that sounds pretty
bloody offensive, actually.
1205
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:12,380
I mean, I haven't seen it.
1206
01:21:12,480 --> 01:21:14,780
But I don't think people should
have to see it. Do you know what?
1207
01:21:14,880 --> 01:21:20,640
I couldn't give a shit. So just shut
the fuck up, do your fucking job,
drive me home and don't be a cu...
1208
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:24,700
I know you!
1209
01:21:24,800 --> 01:21:26,860
You're Michael Palin.
1210
01:21:26,960 --> 01:21:28,860
Yes.
1211
01:21:28,960 --> 01:21:30,460
You're my wife's favourite, you are.
1212
01:21:30,560 --> 01:21:32,520
She loves you.
1213
01:21:33,440 --> 01:21:35,600
Thank you.
1214
01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:40,240
It's nice to feel loved.
1215
01:22:32,720 --> 01:22:35,980
Oh, come on!
What are you laughing at?
1216
01:22:36,080 --> 01:22:37,740
Your faces, you idiots.
1217
01:22:37,840 --> 01:22:39,420
You didn't come off badly out of it.
1218
01:22:39,520 --> 01:22:40,640
They did.
1219
01:22:41,920 --> 01:22:43,060
Wahey! The champion!
1220
01:22:43,160 --> 01:22:47,940
Well done, couldn't have
gone any better for us.
1221
01:22:48,040 --> 01:22:49,580
So, where's Mike?
1222
01:22:49,680 --> 01:22:51,860
Gone home.
1223
01:22:51,960 --> 01:22:55,080
Why? Bit miffed.
1224
01:22:57,160 --> 01:22:59,160
BISHOP'S STORTFORD!
1225
01:22:59,360 --> 01:23:02,140
That was aw-aw-aw...
1226
01:23:02,240 --> 01:23:04,780
Awe-inspiring? Thank you, love.
1227
01:23:04,880 --> 01:23:10,620
Pretty good display, I thought,
seeing as we saw the film
for the first time today
1228
01:23:10,720 --> 01:23:13,600
and we missed
the first fifteen minutes.
1229
01:23:13,880 --> 01:23:16,780
Oh, I see.
1230
01:23:16,880 --> 01:23:22,500
So you missed the part of the film
where the wise men go to visit
Brian, thinking he's Jesus
1231
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:25,860
then realise their mistake
and go to visit Jesus?
1232
01:23:25,960 --> 01:23:27,920
Oh.
1233
01:23:29,440 --> 01:23:30,820
Yes.
1234
01:23:30,920 --> 01:23:36,980
So you make it clear
that Brian isn't Jesus?
1235
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:39,560
Yes.
1236
01:23:40,880 --> 01:23:45,380
Great show, guys! Best piece
of television I have ever seen.
1237
01:23:45,480 --> 01:23:47,420
Thought you'd be funnier.
1238
01:23:47,520 --> 01:23:52,540
But still, great to see Michael
looking so angry. Unmissable.
1239
01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:55,220
Oh, well, there you go. All's well.
1240
01:23:55,320 --> 01:23:59,740
I'm sorry to say this
because I don't like conflict
1241
01:23:59,840 --> 01:24:02,700
but I thought
you behaved disgracefully.
1242
01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:06,940
You didn't represent us
or our beliefs.
1243
01:24:07,040 --> 01:24:09,600
Have you seen the film?
1244
01:24:12,840 --> 01:24:14,420
No.
1245
01:24:14,520 --> 01:24:21,100
But rest assured, we'll be going to
the first screening in the morning
and making up our own minds.
1246
01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:23,380
You don't need to
make up your own minds.
1247
01:24:23,480 --> 01:24:26,820
The Church has spoken for you.
1248
01:24:26,920 --> 01:24:30,040
I think we'll do what we
think is right. Thank you.
1249
01:24:34,200 --> 01:24:37,920
Good man.
Won't you join us for a drink?
1250
01:25:03,440 --> 01:25:05,140
Oh, love. You're squashing me.
1251
01:25:05,240 --> 01:25:07,260
Sorry, love.
1252
01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:08,980
What was that for?
1253
01:25:09,080 --> 01:25:10,500
You won.
1254
01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:14,540
Really? Absolutely.
You absolutely won.
1255
01:25:14,640 --> 01:25:19,180
But...we were serious and they
did jokes and made fun of us.
1256
01:25:19,280 --> 01:25:23,220
Yes. It was weird.
But that's part of why you won.
1257
01:25:23,320 --> 01:25:24,980
It was good you took it seriously.
1258
01:25:25,080 --> 01:25:27,300
And they looked very silly.
1259
01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:29,980
Oh, Michael, it was awful.
1260
01:25:30,080 --> 01:25:33,740
Yes, Mum. No, I mean THEY were awful.
What awful men.
1261
01:25:33,840 --> 01:25:35,580
They were complete bullies.
1262
01:25:35,680 --> 01:25:38,140
I can see what you meant, Michael.
1263
01:25:38,240 --> 01:25:40,540
You can criticise religion...
1264
01:25:40,640 --> 01:25:42,340
it's not all perfect.
1265
01:25:42,440 --> 01:25:45,300
Thanks, Mum.
1266
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:47,980
Ooh, what a face though.
1267
01:25:48,080 --> 01:25:51,480
Thanks, Mum. Glass of sherry?
1268
01:25:56,200 --> 01:25:58,540
'I am writing in my diary.
1269
01:25:58,640 --> 01:26:02,100
'The camera is tracking
slowly towards me.
1270
01:26:02,200 --> 01:26:07,180
'I am thinking about
summing things up because
it will be the end credits soon.
1271
01:26:07,280 --> 01:26:10,440
'I look meaningfully
out of the window for a moment.
1272
01:26:11,960 --> 01:26:15,040
'I suppose this particular
episode is nearly at an end.
1273
01:26:16,560 --> 01:26:19,240
'Nearly...'
1274
01:26:32,600 --> 01:26:34,820
Hello, Michael.
1275
01:26:34,920 --> 01:26:37,660
Hello.
1276
01:26:37,760 --> 01:26:41,460
I'm sorry to say I'm not sure
I believe in you any more.
1277
01:26:41,560 --> 01:26:47,100
Oh, well, I suppose that's
the sort of intellectual, fashionable
thing of the moment, isn't it?
1278
01:26:47,200 --> 01:26:51,900
I hope you're not offended. Oh,
good lord no, God is love and so on.
1279
01:26:52,000 --> 01:26:56,180
So is it over now?
This conflict between religious
institutions and freedom of speech?
1280
01:26:56,280 --> 01:26:59,340
Um...No.
1281
01:26:59,440 --> 01:27:01,340
Oh. Won't people get less
offended by jokes at least?
1282
01:27:01,440 --> 01:27:03,060
Oh, no.
1283
01:27:03,160 --> 01:27:05,980
No. No no no no no.
You see, the trouble is, Michael...
1284
01:27:06,080 --> 01:27:09,780
and this doesn't apply
to you, of course,
1285
01:27:09,880 --> 01:27:13,120
but a lot of people
aren't very nice.
1286
01:27:13,720 --> 01:27:17,020
So what happens?
Well, where do I begin?
1287
01:27:17,120 --> 01:27:24,540
Satanic Verses, Jerry Springer
the Opera, Danish cartoons,
South Park, Richard Dawkin.
1288
01:27:24,640 --> 01:27:28,220
None of this makes any sense to you
whatsoever, does it? Not really.
1289
01:27:28,320 --> 01:27:34,180
Never mind, it will probably form
the basis of the ending of some
rather heavy-handed BBC Four drama.
1290
01:27:34,280 --> 01:27:36,940
Gosh! Is there a BBC Four
in the future?
1291
01:27:37,040 --> 01:27:40,020
The BBC must be doing
very well for itself.
1292
01:27:40,120 --> 01:27:44,240
No, you couldn't be further from the truth.
1293
01:27:47,680 --> 01:27:50,960
I am dreaming this, aren't I?
Yes. You should stay off the cheese.
1294
01:28:04,000 --> 01:28:07,960
♪ The ink is black, the page is white
1295
01:28:08,320 --> 01:28:12,220
♪ Together we learn to read and write
1296
01:28:12,320 --> 01:28:16,740
♪ A child is black, a child is white
1297
01:28:16,840 --> 01:28:21,440
♪ The whole world
looks upon the sight
1298
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:27,080
♪ A beautiful sight
1299
01:28:28,240 --> 01:28:31,780
♪ And now at last we plainly see
1300
01:28:31,880 --> 01:28:36,460
♪ The alphabet of liberty
1301
01:28:36,560 --> 01:28:39,440
♪ Liberty
1302
01:28:41,120 --> 01:28:44,780
♪ The world is black,
the world is white
1303
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:49,240
♪ It turns by day
and then by night... ♪
1304
01:28:50,120 --> 01:28:51,320
Ow!
1305
01:28:53,680 --> 01:28:56,860
You know, I think we'd think
twice about it now.
111976
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