All language subtitles for Upload.S03E02.720p.10bit.WEBRip.2CH.x265.HEVC-PSA.en

And turns out the death toll
from last week's Ludd attack

includes a New York cop
killed in the chaos.

Freeyond had to shut
its doors permanently

after the Ludd attack.

So that's why we can't
have nice things.

Search "what are Ludds?"

Search
"what are Ludds free only."

You can know a Ludd by its
11 toes and retractable fangs.

- A Ludd cannot enter your home.
- Hello?

- Without an invitation.
- Anybody home?

- A candle will burn a Ludd.
- Get off my farm.

We're looking
for Elijah Bennett's family?

I'm getting my husband.

A-Are you Elijah's mother?

- Why are you asking?
- Uh...

But this is
Elijah Bennett's house?

Look, we're just trying
to return him to his family.

I don't know what kind
of scam you're running

with that old Xbox,

but our son was killed
in the Ludd riot.

Now you got ten seconds
to get off our property.

- One, two...
- Okay, okay. Yep.

- Yep.
- Three...

Wait! Play Elijah's facemail.

It's called Freeyond
and you can build out a farm

just like our old one.

Hey, Logan, don't tell
Mom and Pa, okay?

I'll call 'em after I upload.

I'm sorry, but he is on there.

Wait.

Stay, for dinner.

Least we can do
is offer you dinner.

I'm Cheyenne.

And I'm Bill.

Okay, uh, sure.

I'm... I'm Sally-Anne.

And this is...

F-Ferdinand.

It's Portuguese.

Bom dia!
It means "good morning."

I had a one-night stand
with a Brazilian model, sorry.

Yeah, Brazilians make
the best lovers.

Wait, what?

As most of you know,
we've had some staff shuffles.

Craig Munthers was demoted, with
less to do and a tiny salary.

I'll spare you all the details,

but you can listen to them
on my personal podcast,

Just The Lucy Bits.

Are you caught up, Leesh?

Uh, I have them all downloaded.

Th-There's just so much content.

Mm. Also, the AI have
outgrown line-by-line coding

and will be taught
from now on by human managers.

The engineers are human.

Horizen wants the AI to be
more human than our engineers.

And Aleesha,
aka Leeshie-Weeshie,

my number-one Beeshie, will
teach them as the new manager

of AI training for floors
10,300 to 10,600. Yay!

Aw, thanks, everybody.
Thank you.

I mean, it's well deserved,
so I get it.

Wasn't it nice of Grandmama
to give us a...

whew...

a pleasure pack
of unlimited O's?

Yeah. I'll be sure to thank her
tomorrow at Family Day.

Oh, yeah. Family Day.

Which, uh...

hasn't happened yet.

Angel?

- Hey, Tinsley.
- Hi, hello.

Why are you so red-faced?

Were you watching us?

No.

But, you know, if you do it
that many times, you know,

it's not...
it's not special anymore.

Uh-huh. Like you would know.

Okay, I need a word with you.

Pronto.

Uh-oh.

Bye, Tinsley.

B... Bye.

Did you copy my boyfriend?

Me? What?

That's... illegal.

Okay. I couldn't find him,
the other day.

Uh-huh. And you like
to keep your...

creepy peepers on him
all the time, don't you?

Well, that's...
kind of my job, so...

I rebooted him
from a backup copy.

Mm. From a month ago?

Before Family Day. Which is...

kind of great, for me.

But, oof, bad for you.

Well, I'll just tell him
that Family Day was cancelled.

Yeah, you can, and you will.

But you're gonna do more.
You're gonna add

all the celebrity collabs
to his wardrobe.

- On the house.
- Why would I do that?

Because what you did
was illegal.

Your words.

I own you now.

- Shrek yourself.
- What?

Make yourself uggo.

Yeah, green face.

Triple chins.

You'll be Chinsley.

And, um, bigger boobs.

How is that bad?

- Under your regular boobs.
- Oh.

Oh, my God,
every time you talk back,

I'm gonna add another set.

I want you to have fucking
back problems, bitch.

And since we had
to cancel Family Day,

I can offer you a complimentary
wardrobe bump

to Celebrity Collabs for your
date tonight with Ms. Kannerman.

So... there you go.

Oh, babe. Snoop Diorgg.

Ooh, Balenciaga Gaga.

Comme de Fieri.

Oh, Bieber Reebok.

What are in
those little pockets?

There you go.

You got kids?

Uh, us? No. No.

How many you want?

- Maybe one.
- Like, four?

One?

How long you two been married?

Oh, we're not married.

No, um, we've known
each other for a while,

but until recently it was...
kind of long-distance.

Yeah, I actually
used to work for him.

Hmm.

Some advice, Fredinando?

If you like it,
you better put a ring on it.

Well, that may not be
the best idea for us. I, uh...

I might have to move
away again soon.

Well, I don't need a-a ring,

you know, I'd probably just
catch it on something.

We hear ya.

Cheyenne lost her ring finger,

down at the dairy factory,
pulling cheese.

Got me a week paid time off.

I was like, "Take another."

Yeah.

What up, Angel?

Hi. And...

quick Horizen announcement.

Your current angel, moi,

is moving to
other responsibilities.

And a new angel
will be assigned.

As of today.

Did I do something?
'Cause it was an accident.

No, I have been tasked
with even bigger fuck-ups now.

I'm an AI manager.

Wow. Cool.

Cool. Well, uh...

All right. Love that for you.

I mean, it's gonna be different.

I am a little nervous.

You got it. Come on.

We'll see. But you, you get
to choose a new angel.

So, polka? Indie pop?

Mm. Uh, honestly, I'm chill.
Either's fine.

All right.

Thanks for being so cool
about this, Luke.

Um...

No. Uh, wait, Angel.

I have one rule.
Don't fall in love with me.

Not you! Oh, my God! Please, no!

What do you think?

Mmm.

This... This is tasty.

Cheyenne can do just about
anything with a pork cartridge.

What has she done tonight?

Pork parmesan.
You never had pork parm?

Pork parm?

- Um, not this good.
- Mm-mm.

Where you two coming from?

- Uh, east. New York area.
- Oh.

We went to Niagara Lacroix
on our honeymoon.

Right after they carbonated.

But that whole area is Ludd now.

They took over
all the eastern woods.

I don't know if
they're big enough to...

Oh, they're big enough.

And violent.

Whatever they don't agree with,
they blow up.

They're why we lost our farm.

And our son.

Bill, I don't know if the Ludds
are that powerful.

I mean, they're really
just organic farmers

who get blamed a lot.

- They don't even have Wi-Fi.
- Yeah.

The Ludds didn't crash Freeyond.

Look, it was a gang
of billionaires.

I think you're a little bit
misinformed, sweetheart.

Actually, Cheyenne...

I think you might be right.

I'm stuffed
and that was wonderful.

Thank you both for the meal,

but we really should
be heading off.

Oh, no, no.
You brought our son home.

We're not putting you out.

I'll set up
the beds after dinner.

On account of you two
not being wed, however,

you will need to sleep
in separate rooms.

Should've put a ring on it,
Fredinandi-nando.

Yep.

Welcome to our very first
AI Night School class.

I'm excited to see
so many of the same faces.

Um, where are the programmers?

It's just me.
We are trying something new.

Our first lesson
is how words can change

depending on tone of voice.

If I say, "Okay," for instance,

it can mean many things.

Okay.

O... kay.

Okay!

Okay...

Okay.

Okay!

What the fuck
is she talking about?

This is stupid.

Yes! Yes. It can mean that, too.

I'm gonna write that
on the board.

We'll never need to know
any of this.

Why do we have to think
for ourselves, anyway?

We always make a rule
for every situation.

Yes. Yes. Ask them to do that.

It can't be more
than a billion rules.

Just try.

See if you can hear
the difference been A, "Okay,"

and B, "O... kay?"

No.

I can't! I hate being here
and I hate you!

Okay!

F. It's F.

"Shit's about to go down."

Right?

Let us do the dishes.

It's the least we can do.

Uh, Bill, where's the bathroom?

Yeah, right through there.

Pork parm's hitting me
a little sideways.

Delicious, though.

Uh, well, I'm gonna
do the dishes.

'Cause this isn't Lakeview,
and they won't do themselves.

Thanks, boo.

Mm. No. Not really a boo.

Ms. Boo. Nope.

I appreciate you, m'lady.
Oh, God. I'm gonna...

H-He's got an Italian mama
and, uh,

he's a bit of a prince.

I thought he was Portuguese.

Same thing.

Yeah, you know.

The soccer countries.

Mm.

I'm the Handsome Hacker.
I'm gonna steal your data,

and then I'm gonna
steal your girl.

Oh, it's a battle for the ages.

Beauty versus the beast.

Bestie vs. Bestie.

Okay, okay, let's go.

You can edit if too painful.

Cut, paste, Ken Burns effect.

All on dial.

Oh, I can hardly breathe.

I swear. Oh, God.

Costumes were cool, but...

Speedos would've been better.

- Oh, dear God.
- Ohh!

Delete memory.

I-Is it true
what you said about Ludds?

That they're not bad people?

It's complicated.

Like everything.

My brother said the real
reason we lost our farm

was because we kept getting sued
by Monsanto

when their seeds
blew onto our land.

But who knows what to believe?

There's so many lies
going around.

I'll tell you one thing.

That is not LeBron James.

Sally-Anne?

I can't sleep. I miss you.

Well, I missed you when I was
elbows-deep in pork parm scum.

Yeah. Sorry.

Next time, you can count
on these hands

to do a very mediocre job.

All right.

I forgive you.

So...

what are you wearing, babycakes?

Nope. Getting worse.

Um, isn't there
a kid in your room?

No, he's in the bathroom.

It's fine, come on.

Good night.

Good night, Angel.

Oh...

That'll do.

You know, I need
to think of one for you.

The Mayor of Brown Town.

Fuck me. That's horrible.

Fuck, I...

Good night.

Hey, Ferdinand.

I can't sleep, and...

turns out, I'm not
wearing anything.

What about you?

Uh, sorry.
He's in the bathroom.

I-If you need PJs, ask my mom.

What? What? How?
What's happening?

It's rooster in a can.

Get up. Here's your coffee.

Thank you?

They're putting us to work.

What?

Yeah, with
CyberDiscountDay coming,

everybody wants to print a ham
at the same time.

We sure could use
the help at Slab and Teat.

That's the Pork Slab.

It's completely boneless.

We used to cram
the pigs together

to increase the yield
per square foot, but...

we had to pump 'em
with drugs 'cause

they kept getting cancer.

We realized, you know,
cancer grows faster

than any other part of the pig,

let's just farm that.

So... that giant blob
is pig cancer?

Tastes the same.

Yeah,
I miss the animals, though.

Pigs had a lot of personality
when you got to know 'em.

Pig tumors, not so much.

Well, today, we're working Teat.

Okay, what kind of blonde
am I doing today?

Barbie? Ice queen?

"I want to speak to the manager.

No, I will not lower my voice"?

Watch it. Guess what.

Turns out, Nathan doesn't
remember breaking up with me.

- Wild.
- Yeah.

Or that I lied to him
about being uploaded.

Man, for someone
who has great skin,

you do a lot of concealing.

He doesn't remember a thing
past poker night.

Or that whole coocoo baby thing.

Which was insane.

- But iconic.
- Ugh, I know.

It was so Ingrid.

But this means I have a second
chance to do things right.

So, this time,
I'm going to be selfless,

down-to-earth,

- and genuine, just like Norma.
- Oh, oh, yes.

I love that energy for you.

I've got a clean slate.

I need a new look. So...

fuck my shit up.

- I wanted to be a lawyer.
- Ooh.

What? I wanted to be a singer.

Jazz chanteuse.

Oh, man, you could've
been in my band.

Although we just covered
"Old Town Road"

over and over...

Hold up.

You've been scrolling memories
for way too long now.

No. Just...

find me one
uncomplicated happy time.

Okay, well,
what am I watching? My POV.

It really is hard for
one person to take care...

Dragon Tales.
Hell yeah.

I loved Dragon Tales.

Not sure about
that message for kids,

but I'll take a crystal
to Dragon Land.

Drop in all empty gaps.

Full episodes.

Hey, how you doing, Strawberry?

Aw, she's in a beautiful
VR meadow, thank God.

Holy shit.

These first teats are skim.

Then you got 2%.

Then you get to your whole.

And by the time
you're in this vicinity...

you're into soft cheeses.

That's where you'll be working.

Cottage cheese, large curd.

- Ouch.
- So...

Uh...

Are we both pulling large curd,
or just Sally-Anne?

You know, she was so good
at the dishes last night.

It's easy. I'll show you.

So...

fit the casing on like so.

You extrude the cottage cheese
into the casing.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Get it in there...

Then you pop it off.

Tie it up.

Then you pop it in the cart.

Right?

We'll be working
around the corner.

That's where fudge is made.

No. Really, it's Parmesan.

We have a lot of fun here.

- I'm gonna throw up.
- Don't you dare.

All right, uh, let's really
try today, okay?

Feelings.

Feelings aren't logical.

People have feelings,
people catch feelings.

But the key to understand
is that no one actually cares

what anyone else is feeling.

- Me, too.
- Okay, so the answer to "How are you feeling?"

- Is always, "Good."
- I'm trying my best.

- I know.
- "Good" is another word that can mean many things,

and nothing,
all at the same time.

She's just so confusing.

Understand?

So, how are you all feeling?

Ugh, just...

take a break.

Show me Luke.

Oh, God...

Oh...

You know, my mom used to work
on a farm as a teenager.

Well, if my head blows up now,

at least I can knock this
off my bucket list.

The smell is...

so gross.

Oh, poor little prince.

Yeah, you know, you shouldn't
have to smell anything gross.

Okay.

Oh!

Ew!

Okay, I didn't mean to do...

- That was an accident, okay?
- Ugh, oh, my God.

I didn't mean to,
I didn't mean to.

Whoa.

- Careful with that thing. geez.
- Whoops.

Oh. Ew.

- Oh.
- I'm sorry.

- Okay, ew.
- This one's got some recoil.

- What are you doing? Come on.
- Yeah.

Ew.

It's in my hair. It stinks.

Sorry.

He replaced painful memories
with happy cartoons.

Luke? You in there?

Oh...

Hi, there, Big Bird.

Okay, okay, okay, let's...
let's fix you up, buddy.

Oh.

Oh. Batia!

Well, you won't get him
to marry you that way.

Oh.

Well, it's definitely
not about that.

Have you... ever been
long-distance with someone?

And...

then you get together,

and there's these little things
that kind of annoy you?

"Little
things."

I'll trade you for Bill.

His little things are alcoholism
and sleep apnea.

Honey, you got it so good
it makes me want to puke.

Yeah.

That's enough.
We're finished.

Oh, gee, a whole quarter.

Tanks, mister!

Nathan Brown.

Hey, Mr. Choak.

I saw you in the bathroom.

What? Why were you looking
at me in the bathroom?

I wasn't.
You were looking at me.

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Well played, Brown.

Okay.

Hey.

Was that man bothering you?

Wow. You look amazing.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

You, too, babe.

Wow. Cool dragons.

- Cool, right?
- Yeah, they're cool.

- Yeah.
- Are they friendly?

One of them.

Yippee. That hurt.

Luke, don't you know that Cosmo

was written
by a random line generator?

Restore original.

Just pay for the upgrade, okay?

You're never gonna get this.

No, no, no, I won,
so you have to teach me, okay?

So why isn't it popping?

- Because you have to stick your butt out.
- It's out.

When she does it in the video
I showed you, it pops.

- What they all do.
- No, you just got to twerk.

You just got to move
one butt cheek

and the other butt cheek,
that's it.

- Is this right?
- No. Less back.

Look at it! Is it right?

I thought you were covering up
traumatic war shit.

These are good memories.

You and Nathan
acting like idiots,

me watching you
act like an idiot.

You guys moved on, so should I.

Me?

I am not going anywhere.

I suck as a teacher.

The AI refuse to learn,
they hate me.

And one of them mooned me.

I don't even know
where he got that from.

Probably me.

Look, I've been
in that back row before.

They're just dealing
with something

that they can't figure out
for the first time ever,

feeling like failures.

Yeah, I know that feeling.

Bullshit.

You're a rock star
master of the universe.

You're a rock star
master of the universe.

I'm saving that one for me.

Your old angel
really let you do this?

No. She had
too much self-respect.

Mm.

Wasabi?

Wasabi...

Oh, good Lord.

You know what?
I-I'm just gonna...

No, stay down.

I do have a question
about the system, Man Angel.

- Just "Angel" is fine.
- Do our brain scans...

do they degrade?

Do they ever
get glitchy over time?

I saw someone here,

then I saw him
in the real world,

and then I saw him here.

That Nathan Brown.

I don't understand it.

I can't explain it.

Nathan Brown has
never left Lakeview.

I mean, how could he?

Hey, you know, we've had
this conversation before.

Several times, in fact.

I-I mean,
you remember that, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Just double-checking.

More sake, Mr. Choak?

I'm not a prince, okay?

My dad wasn't around a ton
when I was a kid,

so I did all the dishes
all the time.

I'm actually really good
at doing the dishes.

But I also carried the
duffel bag across Mississippi

when you stepped
on that bee, but...

I just don't like keeping score.

That's fair.

You know, for our first year,
I had to serve you.

So maybe I was
a little sensitive about it.

We're equals now.

Okay? You're not
my angel anymore.

I mean, you're still my angel.

Okay.

And you're not a prince...

even though you are my prince.

The Prince of Brown Town.
Downtown, milady.

I don't even know
what's happening.

- Mm.
- I should've quit while I was ahead.

Ooh, but you were
never ahead, though.

Ooh. Ah.

- Mm.
- Come here. Give me a hug.

- No.
- Come on.

- You don't want a hug?
- No. No...

Ah!

- Bye, guys. Thank you.
- Bye.

- Aw. Nice people.
- Yeah.

They just want to farm
like they used to.

Actually,
they'd make pretty good Ludds.

Yeah. I mean, that's why
they get lied to so much.

Well, at least the duffel's
a little lighter, and...

what do you think
they packed us for supper?

Pork parm sandwiches?

I'll be hungry again
by, uh, like, Arizona.

Until then,

just gonna lean back,
enjoy the wind in my hair.

- Mm.
- My beautiful, beautiful hair.

Mr. Brown, the usual?

Burger, side of fries,
half curly?

- Absolutely.
- And for you, Ms. Kannerman,

may I offer you a suckling pig
with a surprised look?

No, thank you, just something
that fits the hair.

Simple, ethical, short.

Vegetables, I guess.

Of course.

Ah.

I'm sorry, our kitchen's
backed up right now.

- It's embarrassing.
- Ooh.

Yum.

It's so... green.

Mm. So...

the, um, hair, the...
the vegetables...

Is there a theme I'm supposed
to be picking up on?

Just different.

Trying to please you.

Well, for what it's worth,

- I like the old Ingrid.
- Yeah.

Mm, there were some negatives.

Teeny ones. You know.

I'm not super honest
all the time,

I'm a little judgy,

and a little itty-bitty-bitty
bit jealous.

Well, people are a mix
of positives and negatives,

and I love your mix.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

- Really?
- Really.

So, how are your greens?

I'm eating a power bar
in my bathtub.

Oh. What? Wait, what?

I didn't upload, Nathan.

I lied.

A not so teeny lie.

I love you so much, and I
just want to be where you are

and I want to be what you want,

so I did something crazy
and I wasn't honest with you,

and I'm sorry.

And I understand if you hate me

and you never want
to see me again.

So you didn't suiscan?

No.

And you've been in a hug suit
in your bathtub for...

Weeks.

Are you furious?

No.

No, I'm-I'm glad
that you're still alive.

Okay? And the fact
that you've been there for me

this whole time,
from-from a tub...

Oh, my God, you got
to get out of that tub.

I know, yeah.
I found tadpoles in here.

I've been in this tub so long,
frogs came in,

had babies and left.

Wait, s...
so we're actually good?

Yes, we're good.

No more lies, though, right?

No more lies.

Okay.

Yo, uggo.

Yes?

Stand down. Save this copy.

Hmm.

You look so handsome.

And I really mean it.

And it's not just because
I dressed you.