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1
00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:01,269
.
2
00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:05,106
- Roach situation in
the break room is getting worse.
3
00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:06,607
So clean up your crumbs,
and Heather,
4
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,442
stop hording yogurt lids
in your locker.
5
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:10,244
You're not gonna win
that free cruise.
6
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:13,347
- On to something more important
than a bunch of dumb bugs.
7
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:17,051
Who's excited about
awards season?
8
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,586
- Um, Glenn,
the Oscars were last month.
9
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:21,455
I know that,
because we had that Oscar pool.
10
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,224
Wait, who won that again?
11
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,425
[indistinct grumbling]
- I believe that was you.
12
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:27,061
- Oh, yeah, that was me.
13
00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:28,362
It's all about
the technical categories.
14
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,531
- Yep, you said that.
- Forget about the Oscars.
15
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:36,270
I am talking about the new
Cloud 9 Integrity Awards.
16
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,139
I know, right?
So cool.
17
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:41,409
The winner from each store
gets an unframed certificate,
18
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:44,512
and attends a luncheon
with an all-you-can-eat buffet.
19
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,181
- Wait, hold on.
So you go through the buffet,
20
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:49,250
and fill your plate once,
and that's all you get?
21
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,152
- No, it's all-you-can-eat.
22
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,388
Anyway, uh, the recommendation
forms are here, and--
23
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,490
which Brett will be happy
to help you with--
24
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,592
in case you think of
someone you work with,
25
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,195
or maybe work for,
26
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:04,432
who you think has shown
integrity in the workplace.
27
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,567
- You can't push yourself
for an award.
28
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,570
- Me? I don't even know
if managers are eligible.
29
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,139
- Oh, yeah,
they're probably not.
30
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,873
- Well, I know they are,
because I checked, so...
31
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,608
- Oh, I see,
so it's all you can eat
32
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:16,577
on your one trip to the buffet.
33
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,646
- No, you're--
you're not getting it.
34
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,615
It--it's multiple trips.
That--that's the beauty of it.
35
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,251
- Well,
I'm probably not eligible,
36
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:24,452
since I'm dating Jeff.
37
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,620
You know, I wouldn't want to add
more drama to the scandal,
38
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:30,090
or add gasoline
to the fire, right?
39
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,462
[laughs]
You were all so interested
40
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,564
when you thought
Sandra was dating Jeff.
41
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,399
- Yeah, it just feels
kinda done now.
42
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,467
- Yeah.
43
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,369
- What size plate
do you have to bring with you?
44
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,471
- They have plates there.
45
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,474
[upbeat music]
46
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,342
*
47
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:50,678
- So Jeff's
kind of a bigwig, huh?
48
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:51,679
I heard when he drives
somewhere,
49
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,314
Cloud 9 pays for his gas.
50
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:55,616
- Oh, well, they pay
for his haircuts too, so...
51
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,351
- That's awesome.
- Hm.
52
00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:59,353
- Uh, anyway, you know,
I put in six requests
53
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,222
for an exterminator
for that roach problem,
54
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:02,423
and then it occurred to me,
55
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,193
maybe Jeff could help
grease the wheels.
56
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,361
- You want me to talk to Jeff?
57
00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:09,497
[sighs]
I don't know, Dina, it's...
58
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:10,331
- Oh, sorry.
59
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:13,201
I just thought
he was really into you.
60
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,635
- He is.
[scoffs]
61
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,171
He's obsessed with me.
62
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:18,539
I'm all, "What do you wanna
have for dinner?"
63
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:21,509
He's like,
"Mateo, I'm obsessed with you."
64
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:24,412
- Uh-huh, well,
if you wanna prove it,
65
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:25,413
why don't you give him a ring?
66
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,315
I mean,
if he's obsessed with you.
67
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:28,649
- Mm-hmm.
68
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:31,285
- The primary circuit
supplies the secondary portion
69
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,653
of the valve with air.
[valve hisses]
70
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:35,389
Pump the brakes to demonstrate.
[air hisses]
71
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:38,526
- What you doing?
- Um, I am making a delivery.
72
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,294
- Since when do you make
deliveries?
73
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,629
- Uh--[scoffs]
Since I realized
74
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,965
we don't have any female
truck drivers in 2017.
75
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,601
[gears grind]
76
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,237
Okay,
I'm helping my parents move.
77
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,504
- Ah...
- They forgot to rent a truck,
78
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,340
and they have to be
out of their house today.
79
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,242
[gears grind]
80
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,476
- Uh...
[laughs]
81
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,278
Okay, if you need some help,
82
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,247
I actually know
how to drive stick.
83
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,549
I thought it would be something
that would impress women.
84
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:02,783
It does not.
85
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:04,985
- Uh, nope, I'm fine.
Thank you.
86
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,388
- All right.
[gears grinding]
87
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,490
Yeah, you got this.
[air hisses]
88
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,425
- Okay, fine, you can help.
- Aww...
89
00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:13,561
enough with the gratitude.
- [sighs]
90
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:16,430
- Okay, hitting the road.
91
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:19,533
No limits, no rules.
92
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:25,339
I like to be
right up on the wheel.
93
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,741
- Hey, Glenn.
- Hey.
94
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,643
- Would it be okay
if I recommended you
95
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,646
for the Integrity Award?
96
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,316
- [laughs]
What? Me?
97
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,518
Huh?
[snorts]
98
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,019
You--are you sure?
99
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,754
- Yeah, you're such a good guy.
100
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,590
But if you're
uncomfortable with it--
101
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,458
- No, no. Do it, do it.
- Okay...
102
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,727
well, I'm gonna put it
in the ballot box.
103
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,597
- Yeah, okay.
Whatever you decide, you know.
104
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:50,831
My middle name's Phillip
105
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:53,467
- Okay.
106
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:56,570
- I would like
44 crab legs, please.
107
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,639
- * You were my lover
108
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:02,009
* But you act so undercover
109
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:05,679
* Love your child
my whole life long *
110
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,781
- I'm sorry, if I show you
special treatment,
111
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,617
people are going to
start asking questions.
112
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:12,720
There's nothing I can do.
I gotta go.
113
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,622
- Was that Jeff?
114
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,625
- Yeah, I asked him about
the exterminator, and--
115
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,593
- I knew it.
As the internet would say,
116
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,762
"you can no haz cheeseburger."
Forget it.
117
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,631
- No, no, he, um--
[clears throat]
118
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,499
Is sending somebody
right away.
119
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,835
I told you,
he's obsessed with me.
120
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:31,071
- Oh, you really need to
work on your good news voice.
121
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,606
I have a series of tapes
I can lend you.
122
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,807
They're very helpful.
123
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,576
For example...
[clears throat]
124
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,512
"Grandma's alive!"
No, no, hold on.
125
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,381
"Grandma's alive!"
126
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,649
No, that's not
sounding right either.
127
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,517
I'll find it.
It's just...
128
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,386
news I would never be happy
to give.
129
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,422
- Hey, Sandra.
130
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:49,890
Hey, how was your vacation?
131
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:52,092
- I didn't take one.
- No, I meant last year,
132
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,862
when I gave you that week off
to go to Atlantic City.
133
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,731
- Oh...
- Don't worry about it.
134
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,700
So who you nominating?
135
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:03,103
- You.
- [snorts] What? Me?
136
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,407
No--Sandra, that's so--
[imitates explosion]
137
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,476
You know, that is
so out of leftfield.
138
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:09,410
- Watch out! Watch out!
139
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,445
Move, move
Coming through, coming through.
140
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:12,446
- What's going on?
141
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,114
- Found this dog outside--
stuck in the snow.
142
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,749
- Oh, my God, is he okay?
- Yeah, he's gonna be fine.
143
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:16,684
I just need to
warm him up quick.
144
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,586
Hey, Tim, go grab
one of those dog baths,
145
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:19,720
bring him to the men's room.
146
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,556
Heather, grab some hairdryers,
blankets, and towels.
147
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,758
Come on, little buddy.
I got you.
148
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,927
- Thank God Garrett was there.
- Yeah.
149
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,430
- Talk about integrity.
150
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,704
- Uh, I--I don't--I don't think
you're allowed to erase.
151
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,508
- I'm so excited
to meet the parents.
152
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,810
Trying to decide
if I should ask my questions
153
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,612
in chronological order
from birth,
154
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:47,147
or by degree of embarrassment.
155
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,783
- Oh, Jonah,
so sweet, so dumb.
156
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:50,851
Do you actually think
I'd bring you along
157
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:51,919
if my parents were here?
158
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:56,857
They're in the new place.
We're just getting boxes.
159
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,926
- Hey, princess.
160
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,395
We're a little behind schedule.
161
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,631
- A little?
- Hi, I'm Jonah,
162
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:06,634
and I have a lot of questions.
163
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,138
- Why aren't you guys packed?
164
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,906
- It's an emotional process.
165
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:16,143
Amelia,
you made this in preschool.
166
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,679
- Amelia?
- Uh, stay in your lane.
167
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,747
- I'm already packed.
168
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,916
Took me two minutes
to box up everything I own.
169
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,487
- Let's see.
Uh, this is mostly socks,
170
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,457
a toothbrush, and a banana.
171
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,559
- I keep it simple.
What else do I need?
172
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,093
- I don't know,
maybe your heart medicine,
173
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:36,564
so that your body
doesn't reject your new valve?
174
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,700
- Yep.
175
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,470
- Look, I'm gonna need to stay.
Can you Uber back?
176
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,872
- Oh, n-n-no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
177
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,575
This is where I need to be,
Amelia...
178
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:48,776
- You know what, Connie?
179
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,444
Let's start with
those photo albums.
180
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,579
What do ya say?
181
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,847
- Sit.
- Okay.
182
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,549
- All right,
now I'm gonna give you one more,
183
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,150
'cause I'm looking out
for your sodium.
184
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,952
Here you go.
- Hey, Garrett.
185
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,588
Hey there, little guy.
How's your--
186
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:01,689
[dog growls]
187
00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,457
- Oh, he thinks you're trying
to steal his nacho.
188
00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,125
- Oh...
189
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,127
I'm not.
190
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,797
Anyway, good for you
for finding him.
191
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,499
You probably saved his life.
192
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,567
Hm, who saw that coming?
193
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:14,468
I didn't.
194
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,704
- Eh, you know,
it wasn't that big a deal.
195
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,238
- You might even win the award.
196
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:22,209
How crazy would that be?
Garrett, Integrity Award winner.
197
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:26,714
- Look, I know how much
you want the award.
198
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:29,483
- Whoa!
That's quite a leap.
199
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:30,918
- Well, on the off chance
that I'm right,
200
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,653
why don't we do this?
201
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,488
Attention, Cloud 9 employees,
202
00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,557
do not recommend me
for the Integrity Award.
203
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,859
If you would like to reward me
for rescuing a dog,
204
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,161
feel free to bring baked goods
by Customer Service,
205
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,631
preferably homemade.
206
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,198
- Thank you.
207
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:46,834
- And no lemon squares,
or anything with oatmeal.
208
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,737
Save that crap for somebody
who did not rescue a dog.
209
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,573
- My cousin's actually
an exterminator up in Davenport.
210
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:53,874
Name's Rob.
You know him?
211
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,676
- Uh-uh.
- Eh, worth a shot.
212
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,010
Would've been cool.
213
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,580
All right, everyone out.
214
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,915
Break room is officially closed
for fumigation.
215
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:03,884
This stuff is highly toxic.
216
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,787
Sandra, stay or go.
I really don't care.
217
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,556
All right, bug man,
room is yours.
218
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,890
Go to town.
219
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,728
- [gasps]
220
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,930
Oh, okay, NBD.
221
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:18,666
Just a few roachies.
222
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:19,867
[gasps, screams]
223
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:23,537
[clears throat]
I mean, ah.
224
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:25,539
Come at me, bro.
225
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:26,640
- Oh...
226
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:29,543
she said the other kids
were wearing capes at school.
227
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:32,012
Then I picked her up one day.
Nope.
228
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:35,549
- Okay, Mom, I was coping
with Grandpa dying in my arms.
229
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,818
And you know what,
why don't you guys get packing?
230
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,287
If you wanna chit-chat,
exchange numbers.
231
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,922
- Already Facebook friends.
- [giggles]
232
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,825
- So next we have...
233
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,027
oh, naked Amy.
- Mom...
234
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,796
- Please,
you were three years old.
235
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,263
- Don't worry,
I only saw up-top stuff--
236
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,699
nothing south of the border.
237
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:52,733
- Kay,
you're not making it better.
238
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:56,003
- Oh, I didn't mean that
in, like, a Latino way.
239
00:08:56,036 --> 00:09:00,908
- Hey, Dad, you know,
Jonah is a real art lover.
240
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:04,578
- Oh.
- Oh, really?
241
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:07,615
Powerful, aren't they?
242
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,982
- Yeah...
yeah, yeah,
243
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:12,019
you have a--a real eye
for composition.
244
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,687
- They're celebrities.
245
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,355
- Yeah.
Yeah, I caught that.
246
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,024
- I knew you'd appreciate them.
247
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,927
- Yeah...
- Pick your favorite one.
248
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,762
- Oh, me? No, no, no.
Come on, I couldn't.
249
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,864
- No, no, no, I insist.
250
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,066
I don't have room for them
anyway in the new place.
251
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,735
- Oh, okay, thanks.
252
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,804
Um, yeah, I'll--I'll take,
you know, Putin.
253
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,740
- Why?
- Well, I--
254
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,875
that's just because--I mean,
I--I'll take any of them.
255
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,345
- No, no, no, no, fine.
You want Putin, take him.
256
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,748
- Thank you.
This, uh--this mean a lot.
257
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:44,351
- Let's say, um--
$30 sound fair?
258
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,855
- Yeah--yeah, $30's--$30's cool.
259
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,322
$30's good.
Yeah.
260
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,758
- Hey, Cheyenne.
261
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,760
I was just reading
your recommendation.
262
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,628
It is so nice.
263
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,096
- Oh, thanks.
264
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,865
- But three sentences?
265
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:01,068
Can I really be summed up
in three sentences?
266
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,770
- Oh, should it be longer?
267
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,672
- Well...
268
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,675
I'm just wondering if we could
up the wow factor.
269
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,042
I mean, it's not about
making it longer.
270
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,912
It's about making it better
and longer.
271
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:15,048
- So do you want me
to write another one?
272
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,818
- I think you want you
to write another one.
273
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,820
That's what I'm hearing.
- Oh, okay.
274
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,955
I'll do it as soon as I'm done
with this customer.
275
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,056
- Oh, I'll take over,
276
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,793
so--so you can get to it
while it's fresh in your head.
277
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:29,096
- What is?
- I can't wait to find out.
278
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,932
- Okay.
- Okay.
279
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,801
Hi.
280
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,804
Are you ready to be
your best self?
281
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,807
[cheery music]
282
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:40,841
*
283
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,676
- Okay.
284
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,812
*
285
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,915
[bug bomb hisses softly]
286
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,118
That's it?
287
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,759
[upbeat pop music]
288
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:04,031
*
289
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,733
- Hey, there you are.
290
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,167
The exterminator was here.
You just missed him.
291
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,137
- Oh, yeah, I saw him.
Really skinny guy.
292
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,171
- Huh, I didn't think so.
293
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,840
- Well, you can't tell
in a jumpsuit.
294
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,908
- Anyway, thanks for
making Jeff send him.
295
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:15,776
Sure.
I'm a good man to know,
296
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,778
so let me know
if you need anything else.
297
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:18,979
- Cool.
Well, I'd love to get
298
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,914
the bulbs changed
in the parking lights.
299
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,049
Kitchen needs to be re-grouted.
300
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,985
Utility room's a mess.
- Okay...
301
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,087
seems like a lot to ask
all at once.
302
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,223
- Come on now, you just need to
make it worth his while, right?
303
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:33,861
Bedroom-wise? Kitchen-wise?
Dungeon-wise?
304
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,863
Whatever it is you guys do.
305
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,832
This would just
really help me out.
306
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,134
- Okay, sure, no problem.
- Great.
307
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,070
Let me know if you need
any good sex moves.
308
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:45,005
- Nope, I'm good.
[laughs]
309
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,206
- You're gonna wanna take
his whole mess of parts,
310
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,175
and just twist 'em up fast,
okay?
311
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,010
Like a--like a windup toy.
312
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,512
Uh, pretend it's a jar
of pickles that won't open.
313
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:56,049
Excuse you,
this is a private conversation.
314
00:11:56,083 --> 00:12:00,120
- Okay someone's ready
for the dance.
315
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,955
- Hi, boy!
Hi.
316
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:04,424
I was looking
everywhere for him.
317
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:05,959
[laughs]
Aww, hi, boy.
318
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:07,761
- Oh, what's going on here?
319
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,096
- Garrett didn't just
find a dog.
320
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,031
He found a veteran's dog.
321
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,966
- Thank you.
You're a hero.
322
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,002
- Oh, no, sir, thank you.
You're the real hero here.
323
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,904
- You are.
- Well, okay, I'll take it.
324
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,772
[applause]
325
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,273
- Maybe we all are.
326
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:23,010
All of us are heroes.
327
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,980
- Connie,
you have more necklaces
328
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:29,783
made out of coins
than I have ever seen.
329
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:32,886
Until now,
the record was zero.
330
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,521
- [sighs] I'm hungry.
331
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,156
Connie, I'm hungry.
332
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,124
- Okay, I will order pizza,
333
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,793
and we will keep packing
until it gets here.
334
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:40,828
- Pizza?
335
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,462
This is our last meal
in this house.
336
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,932
We can't just eat junk
out of a cardboard box?
337
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,067
- I mean, we could.
- I'll make tamales.
338
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,902
- Ooh, that sounds good...
- Oh, yeah.
339
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,103
- But so does pizza.
340
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:50,971
- Mom,
we don't have twelve hours
341
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,206
for you to make tamales.
- I'll hurry.
342
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,207
I just have to
find that steamer.
343
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,810
- Mom, please, no.
Don't--do not open that--
344
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:59,146
I just packed--
345
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,848
I can't.
346
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:08,288
- Jonah, I'm feeling like $30
was a little low.
347
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,228
[cheery music]
348
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,330
- So all of us at corporate
would like to congratulate you
349
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,332
on some find work today.
Really impressive.
350
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,134
- Ah, just doing what I do.
351
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:25,238
Plus, my manager, Glenn Sturgis,
set such a great example for me.
352
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:26,473
- Right,
but you're the one who saved
353
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,041
the life of a war hero's dog.
354
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,509
I mean, that deserves
recognition.
355
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,610
- Well, hold on.
356
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:34,447
I think you mean
allegedly saved a life
357
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,317
of an alleged dog.
- It was definitely a dog.
358
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,353
- And who knows if that guy
was even a real war hero.
359
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,522
Maybe he was one
of those veterans
360
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,392
that, you know, shot up
a village of innocent people.
361
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:48,361
Lot of folks snap
under the fog of war.
362
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,130
- [whispers]
What are you doing?
363
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,232
- Um, well...[stammers]
I'm not sure how--
364
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,533
- Garrett just called you
a bad name,
365
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,502
and now he's giving you
the finger
366
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,371
- Attention, Cloud 9 employees,
367
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,373
I am now accepting
recommendations
368
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:01,408
for the Integrity Award,
369
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,511
not because I care,
but largely out of spite.
370
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,413
[knock at door]
371
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:09,482
- Hey, uh, so I'm not
exactly sure what this means,
372
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,351
but your mom said,
"You better come down.
373
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:14,287
You're not too big
to get the chancla"?
374
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,456
- She's threatening
to throw her sandal at me.
375
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,191
Why?
Did she have it out?
376
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:21,361
- Wait,
is this your childhood bedroom?
377
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:24,064
- Yeah, take in all the glory.
378
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:27,334
- So this is where it all began
for young Amelia.
379
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,169
[laughs]
Lets see here.
380
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,539
Oh, not one, but two, three...
381
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,642
six pictures of Scott Wolf.
382
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:38,411
- Yeah, I was part
of the Wolf Pack.
383
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,081
- Hey, is this--
Is this "Rent"?
384
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,615
I never pictured you as a--
a theater nerd.
385
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,151
I was one too.
386
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,119
- Yeah, that's exactly
how I pictured you.
387
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,588
- Oh! And I was on
the debate team as well.
388
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,557
I feel like
if we went to school together,
389
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,192
we would've been friends.
390
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:56,463
- Um, I'd like to think not,
but, yeah, probably.
391
00:14:56,496 --> 00:15:00,100
- This was not just a crush...
392
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,601
there's a darkness here.
393
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:08,675
*
394
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:12,345
[glass shatters]
395
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,185
- Okay.
396
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,221
- I think it's, like,
the longest thing
397
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,455
I've ever written.
398
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,624
First time I wrote
"opportunity."
399
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,359
That word's nuts.
400
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,461
- Yeah, well, I--
I think we're getting there.
401
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:31,664
But I still think we need, like,
a big story here.
402
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:35,102
Like,
what is my dog-in-the-snow?
403
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,304
- Oh, remember that one time
404
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:38,505
that you stopped
that shopping cart
405
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,507
from smashing into aisle six?
406
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,442
- Yeah, like that,
407
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:46,179
but what if
aisle six was a baby,
408
00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:49,382
and the shopping cart was,
like, an axe murderer?
409
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:53,520
- So you want me to lie
to get you an Integrity Award?
410
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:57,690
- What I'm hearing is that
you want you to lie
411
00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,626
to get me an Integrity Award.
412
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,529
[rock music]
413
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,665
- * Don't know what you got
414
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:09,502
* Till it's gone
415
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,438
- But the worst part
about the chanclas
416
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,273
is if you duck the first one...
417
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,774
[together]
There's another one.
418
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:15,775
- Exactly.
[knock at door]
419
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,644
- Right.
- Hon,
420
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,712
would you like
two or three tamales?
421
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,414
What the hell are you doing
with my daughter?
422
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,449
- Whoa, whoa.
- I'll kill you.
423
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,517
- No, no, no, no, no, sir.
No, not--it's not--
424
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,287
- I'm kidding.
Look at him freaking out.
425
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,257
- It's still hilarious, Dad.
- Your cousins are downstairs.
426
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,658
Steven's girlfriend
is very loud.
427
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,160
- I told you.
428
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,661
- I'm going to the store
to get some ice.
429
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:39,399
- No, Dad, we don't need ice.
We need you to pack your stuff.
430
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,368
This is never gonna get done.
431
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:44,537
I'm so sick of having to do
everything for them.
432
00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:45,772
- Then don't.
433
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,640
- Come on.
- No, I-I-I mean it.
434
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:51,178
What--what would happen
if you just left right now?
435
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,045
- Then I would be the one
436
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,246
who had to deal
with the consequences.
437
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,214
- No, you would be the one
438
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,549
who decided to deal
with the consequences,
439
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,451
instead of just
letting them deal with it.
440
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:01,454
I'm just saying,
it's not your responsibility
441
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,223
to make sure that
everything goes well
442
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:06,293
for everybody else.
443
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,228
- Yeah.
444
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,596
You're right.
445
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:12,665
They're grownups.
They'll figure it out.
446
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,735
Okay.
Great, let's get out of here.
447
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,804
- Okay, let's go.
448
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,240
Oh, like tha--
Oh, like, out that way?
449
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,608
- Oh, yeah, I'm not dealing
with my cousins.
450
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,311
It's like non-stop
Dr. Evil impressions.
451
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:26,746
- Excuse me, do you have
anymore bug bombs in back?
452
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,216
There's only one left,
and I have to do my whole house.
453
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,850
- Oh...[laughs]
One's all you need for a house.
454
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,819
Three of them would fill
a Scottrade Center.
455
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,822
[cheery music]
456
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,096
[cheery music]
457
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:46,766
- You really schlonged me
with this whole dog scam.
458
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,235
- Well, that's a low blow.
459
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,869
But since I'm a man of...
[clears throat]
460
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,771
Integrity,
I'm gonna let it slide.
461
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,706
- Why are you doing this?
462
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,775
You don't even care
about this award.
463
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,211
- Why do you assume
that I don't care?
464
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:01,281
One time I do a good deed,
I'd like a little recognition.
465
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:03,850
I like plaques.
I got walls.
466
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,886
- Are you crying?
- Yeah! I got feelings, too,
467
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,855
although not such
strong feelings
468
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:11,558
that I should be crying.
That's weird.
469
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,559
[sniffles]
470
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,794
- Okay, this is our store today.
471
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,264
Here's where I'd like to see it
in three months.
472
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,232
Fresh coat of paint,
advanced security system.
473
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,300
You can tell Jeff
whatever they have
474
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:21,801
at the Tel Aviv airport
will be fine.
475
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,837
Now here's where I'd like
to see it in three years.
476
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,274
- Enough!
I'm not your slave, okay?
477
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:30,310
Uh, I mean, Jeff's not.
[coughing]
478
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,579
Jeff's--Jeff's not gonna do
any of those.
479
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,347
- [coughs]
What is going on?
480
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:37,584
[both coughing]
481
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:43,223
Oh, that's not great.
482
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,825
both: * In daylight,
in sunsets *
483
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:48,828
* In midnights,
in cups of coffee *
484
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,830
- * In inches, in miles
- * In inches, in smiles
485
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,700
- * In laughter, in strife
- Smiles and strife.
486
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,902
- [crying] I'm sorry.
I just feel terrible.
487
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,405
- [crying] I feel sick.
I feel sick.
488
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:02,809
- Yeah, as boys, we're told
to keep our feelings inside.
489
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,744
But this is good.
490
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,879
I'm crying,
you're crying.
491
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,615
[sniffs]
And--
492
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,818
And my nose is bleeding,
and your nose is bleeding.
493
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,353
- What? Oh.
494
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:14,387
[alarm ringing]
- Code Orange.
495
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,789
This is a Code Orange
toxic event.
496
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,726
Everyone evacuate the building.
497
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,729
[all coughing, clamoring]
498
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:26,733
both: * How do you measure,
measure a year? *
499
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,936
- Whoa, what is going on?
500
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:33,873
- I don't know,
but looks like kind of a mess.
501
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,809
- You know, they're adults.
502
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,746
I'm sure they can handle it.
Whatever it is.
503
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,649
- You know,
we never did get lunch.
504
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:43,750
- Gotta eat.
505
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,819
[alarm continues blaring]
506
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:51,991
*
507
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,360
- Oh, no, not here, sir.
508
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,395
We have a--
509
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,996
[camera shutter clicks]
510
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,998
- What percentage oxygen
you using?
511
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,700
Standard 80?
512
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:01,801
Yeah.
513
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:04,904
[indistinct chatter]
514
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,975
- So some moron
decided to set off
515
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:12,445
ten industrial-sized bug bombs
in your break room.
516
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,247
- Oh, I'm sure
he was just trying to help.
517
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:16,249
Or she!
Whoever it is.
518
00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:19,252
- Hey, so, uh,
early dinner tonight?
519
00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:21,821
- What are you doing?
- Huh? Oh, it's fine.
520
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,390
I--I came clean.
521
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:27,026
I mean, the secret
was just inflaming my ulcer.
522
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,796
- And they're okay with it?
- Yeah, it's fine.
523
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:33,433
It's--it's basically fine.
524
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:37,904
You need to transfer
to a different store.
525
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:40,740
- Transfer?
526
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:41,974
Oh.
527
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:46,279
- Why can't I just have a car?
528
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,315
- I don't know.
You just can't.
529
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,284
- No, see, the thing is
"Party of Five"
530
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,853
showcased his boyish appeal,
but it made it harder for him
531
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,822
to get darker,
more adult roles.
532
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,357
- I wonder what he's doing now.
533
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,359
- He married Kelly from
"The Real World: New Orleans."
534
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,928
They live in Park City
with their three kids.
535
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,298
- Whose names are...
536
00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:08,000
- [laughs]
How would I know?
537
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:09,502
Jackson, Miller,
and Lucy.
538
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:12,739
[both laugh]
[phone vibrating]
539
00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:17,310
Okay,
so who was your '90s crush?
540
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:19,846
- Alyssa Jayne Milano was born
in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn...
541
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,814
- Of course it was
Alyssa Jayne Milano!
542
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,416
- In 1972.
39770
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