Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,719
This programme contains adult humour
2
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,399
A wee boys' night.CHEERING
3
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:06,719
I'll have a girls' night.
4
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,279
This is nice, Laura.
5
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:10,919
Nice panties, Joe Exotic!
6
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:14,319
Everything aboot you is false.
7
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,679
Things aren't great betweenVincent
and Vonny right now.
8
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,239
Yous don't actually think
thatme and Eilidh are...?
9
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,519
ALL: Aye.
10
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,479
I'm losing my wife, boys.
11
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,359
Surprise!
12
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,640
SHOUTING AND LAUGHTER
13
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,640
Right, Darren, tights.
14
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,319
I've always wanted to be a pop star.
15
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:40,759
MUSIC PLAYSThis is a guid yin.
16
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,039
I've always been in wee bandsand that.
17
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,480
Get a wee beat, a wee build-up.
18
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,479
Right, ready?Right, haud it straight.
19
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,159
But noo it's time tae get serious.
20
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:54,479
# I went from provy chequesto Posh and Becks
21
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:58,599
# From popping the meterto hanging out with Peter
22
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,359
# Dinklage, I mean Tyrion Lannister
23
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:06,719
# See me at a party, I'll
besliding doon the banister... #
24
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,679
SHE HOLDS NOTE
25
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,599
Darren, you've ripped the tights!
26
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:12,839
Sorry. Sorry.
27
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,039
Look, I need the tightsor my Ps will pop.
28
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,080
I'll get another pair.Och, just forget it.
29
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,799
Whit? It sounds good.
30
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,519
It's pure amateur hour.
31
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,199
Old tights, having to stoapwhenever
the ice cream van goes by.
32
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,799
Well, you don't need to buy
a coneEVERY time it comes roond.
33
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,399
I mean the noise.
34
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,279
The noise ruins the recording.
35
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,719
Look, I need a professionalhome studio in here,
36
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,359
somewhere I can go wheneverthe
muse whispers in my ear.
37
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:42,199
The only person whispering
inColette's ear is Ronald McDonald.
38
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,199
How can we get a home studioin here?
39
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,119
We dinnae even have roomfor my trophy cabinet.
40
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,679
You never shut up aboot
meflinging oot thae trophies.
41
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,479
Look, I telt yae,you'll win them all again.
42
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,119
I'll win the tae kwon dounder
12 juniors trophy again?
43
00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:03,360
Listen, Darren, wae my music,
I can make a dream life for us.
44
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,640
And your personal training
stuff,it's nice, but...
45
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,359
..it's only ever gonnae
bea piddly wee amount of money.
46
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,359
You ever heard of the shite ceiling?
47
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,439
Naw.
48
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:20,079
Look, when you started oot,
you made shite money, right?
49
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,279
Right.
50
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,239
Even if you dae thisfor another 20 year,
51
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,559
the best you can hope for iskinda shite.
52
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,279
That's the ceiling.
53
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,879
HE SIGHSI get you.
54
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:34,319
Noo, I want you to visualisemy music taking aff,
55
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:38,280
and my heid bursting right throughthat ceiling.
56
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,959
You want me to visualise your heid
57
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,439
bursting through a ceilingmade of shite?
58
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,720
In't it beautiful?
59
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,479
HE SIGHS
60
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,279
Well, if you want a studio,you'll get a studio.
61
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,719
Come here. Oh!
62
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,720
I have nae ideahow to pay for this studio.
63
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,720
HE SIGHS
64
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:10,959
Erin phoned.
65
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,879
She's coming home from uniin a couple of weeks.
66
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,479
Oh, is she? Mm-hm.
67
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,660
Do you think that my old examresults
could still get me into uni?
68
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,159
Why would you want to go to uniin your 40s,
69
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,839
and hang aboot wae Erin and herpals?
70
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,079
Bunch of wee Torquilsand Sebastians,
71
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,639
skin-tight mustard troosers,
bollocks and kneecaps sticking oot
72
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:35,039
everywhere. I bet they wouldthink I was cool.
73
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,079
Wee bumbag, wee side pony.
74
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,199
Oh, aye."Pleased to meet you, Laura.
75
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,039
"I'm Menzies, the male feminist.
76
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,479
"Would you like to come up to
mybedsit and read some erotic poetry?"
77
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:47,839
SHE CHUCKLES
78
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,200
DOORBELL RINGS
79
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,319
Now, I might be a cash-richindustry disruptor,
80
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,919
with an explosive career narrative,
81
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,119
but I like to remind myselfthat
I came fae nothing.
82
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,959
That's why I like to pop
inand visit Henry and Laura.
83
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,879
Visiting us is one of the few things
84
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,519
that Vincent and Vonnyactually do together.
85
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:13,239
We need to encourage them tostop
leading these separate lives.
86
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,839
Well, nice side pony, Tracy Beaker,
87
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,639
but Vonny has got no interestin my interests.
88
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,679
Oh, excuse me if I don't
want tospend my nights watching
89
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:26,559
middle-aged Brazilians gettingtheir
man boobs vacuumed on YouTube.
90
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,399
Well, excuse me if I don't wantto
spend MY time getting hammered
91
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,839
and watching Cabaret.
92
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,679
I mean, I dae want to dae
that,but no three times a week.
93
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,120
It's twice a week at most.
94
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,279
And did I not offer to
go tothat lip pumpers party
95
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,719
with you in Birmingham?There you go.
96
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:43,679
Laura, I am not gonnae take Vonny
97
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,079
to an augmentation industryconference.
98
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,199
Why not?
99
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,479
Cos she would just make snideremarks.
100
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:50,999
She would heckle all the speakers.
101
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,159
I mean, I would rather
takeMorrissey to a bullfight.
102
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,319
SHE GASPS
103
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,199
I mean, me and Henrydo everything together.
104
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,399
See, Vincent?I told you it could be worse.
105
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,759
Right, well, I've got somethingwe
can all dae thegither.
106
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,999
Colette's just aff the phone,
107
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,600
and you'll no believewhat she said. Whit?
108
00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:13,319
I decided the best wayto
boost Colette's studio funds
109
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,759
would be to take on a fight.
110
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,439
It'll be my first fight in ages.
111
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,079
But I'll be keeping my haund in.
112
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,119
Keeping your haund ina jar of Nutella, maybe.
113
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,639
I'm kidding on!
114
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,380
I'm absolutely buzzing aboot this.
115
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:30,719
Stauner McGregor has got a fight.
116
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,039
VONNY GASPS
117
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,199
A real fight?
118
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,039
Aye. No like the timehe used you as a baby wipe?
119
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,119
Naw, an actual fight.
120
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,959
Big family night oot here! Ah!
121
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,639
All that violence,people baying for blood.
122
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,679
Actually, this will be right
upyour street, like a date night.
123
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,119
We could turn up looking amazing!
124
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,399
Yeah, girl, aye, blow
away all thaeblando square nuts
125
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:56,279
with their 15 quid Boohoo
shoesand their Primark dresses.
126
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,959
Nae offence, Laura.
127
00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,999
A bit of glamorous violencedoes float my boat.
128
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,479
What if he gets hurt?
129
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,119
That's the main reason to go!
130
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,959
Aye, to applaud every single
punchto that dyed black beard, man.
131
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,359
Boom!
132
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,079
You really want him to get beat?
133
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,879
Beat? I'm hoping he gets thatbig,
daft, pirate-in-a-porno heid
134
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,479
booted right aff his neck.
135
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,079
I thought you were all
palsafter your boys' night.
136
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,039
Right, wan step at a time, Laura.
137
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,359
He sat on that couch last weekwearing a vest.
138
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,279
Oh, God! Vest obsessed?
139
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:27,279
If you looked at him fae the
side,you could see his nipples.
140
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,319
And?
141
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,839
If a guy is coming intae my hoose,
142
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:33,760
it should be impossible
to seehis nipples fae any angle.
143
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,599
Stop going on aboutDarren's nipples!
144
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,999
Laura, haud on, Henry does
havea point aboot the vest thing.
145
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,239
I mean, this is a man's hoose,no Nakatomi Plaza.
146
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,359
Well, there'll be no vestat the fight.
147
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,319
Darren will be innothing but his pants,
148
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,599
which pretty much seals the dealfor me.
149
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,720
Two tickets, please. Yes!
150
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,119
Yass! That's another ticket sold.
151
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,919
See, that's Darren's problem.
152
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,599
He's only thinking aboothow
to sell the next ticket.
153
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,079
I'm thinking aboot how
to sellthe next 10,000 tickets.
154
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,479
If you really want to shifttickets, you need to
155
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,039
start promoting yersel.
156
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,199
The fists may win you the titles,
157
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,279
but it's the mooththat sells the tickets.
158
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,319
Whit's the name of the wee guyyou're fighting?
159
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,679
Jack Piper.
160
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:23,359
Right. Noo, imagine that I
amfilming a wee promo video of you
161
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,839
trash-talking Jack Piper. Let's go.
162
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,920
HE SIGHSDae it before I trash-talk you.
163
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:35,559
Jack, you and me are bothexcellent technicians.
164
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,479
You're selling a fight,no a lab coat.
165
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,079
Try this.
166
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,119
Jack Piper, you're an arse wiper.
167
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,119
You're nothing but a stupid...
168
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,759
Jack's a nice guy.
169
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,120
You're fighting him,no firing intae him!
170
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,719
Jack, I respect you...
171
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,439
Naw! You don't respect him!
172
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,439
Look, get personal, slag
hisgirlfriend, call her a cow.
173
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,079
I am not saying that!
174
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,519
Right, listen tae me.
175
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:08,239
Jack Piper, arse wiper,
you think you're gonnae beat me
176
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,079
and take all the money back
tae yerwee cow of a girlfriend?
177
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:14,039
Thinks she's brilliant on Facebookwae
pictures of her wee, tiny waist
178
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,919
that she's been up all nightPhotoshopping,
179
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,399
covered in Gucci that she
boughtfor 20 quid fae AliExpress.
180
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:23,200
She's a cow, she's a bint, andshe
pulls willies for glass cheques!
181
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,639
Yae dae know I'm fighting
Jack,and no his girlfriend, aye?
182
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,120
HE SIGHS
183
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,280
BELL RINGS
184
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,680
TRIUMPHANT MUSIC
185
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:43,680
MUSIC FADES
186
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,400
VINCENT WHISTLES
187
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,559
Oh, hiya!
188
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,759
Hey, hey!
189
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,399
Are you nervous?
190
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,799
Oh, just call me Mrs Cadbury.
191
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,839
My arse has been making buttonsall day. Eugh!
192
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,999
Right, come oan, everybody,seats ower here.
193
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,960
Vonny, you look beautiful!
194
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:10,320
MUSIC: Lose Yourselfby Eminem
195
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:19,480
MUSIC: C'est La Vieby B*Witched
196
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,680
Right. Mm.
197
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,240
Ah!
198
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:38,200
Noo, Vonny, are we the best-
lookingcouple in here or whit?
199
00:09:38,201 --> 00:09:41,639
Well, you can only beatwhat's in front of you,
200
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,079
but, aye, we do look good.
201
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:47,879
Well, you might look good,but I look magnifique.
202
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,439
YOU look better?
203
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,920
You're punching, mate,everybody tells me that.
204
00:09:51,921 --> 00:09:55,719
You do look good in that clobber,right enough.
205
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,319
Oh, aye? Mm.
206
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,719
You like this? Mm-hm.
207
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,039
You want a better look?
208
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:01,399
SHE CHUCKLES
209
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,199
What are you doing?
210
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,359
Ah.
211
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,199
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm!
212
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,080
SHE LAUGHSStop it!
213
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,040
Right, let's see you, then.
214
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,800
Oh, Laura's up.Oh, aye, oh, aye. Here we go.
215
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,360
WHISTLES
216
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,919
Very nice.
217
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,799
See? I can tell alreadyit's
gonnae be a good night.
218
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,559
And dae yae know what wouldmake it even better?
219
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,440
A cheeky wee wager.
220
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:39,039
Here, here, I'm gonnae seeif
anybody fancies losing money
221
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,919
on that big Jack Sparrowtribute act.
222
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,319
Oh. You want in?
223
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,799
Oh, aye.
224
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,079
Here, Vonny... Hey, sh!
225
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,919
I don't want Laura to hear.
226
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,200
Ah, right. Aye.
227
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:53,730
INAUDIBLE
228
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,279
BELL RINGS
229
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:05,119
So, the fights start,and it's awful.
230
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,119
BLOWS LAND, CROWD GROAN
231
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,839
The promoter said he was going
tothrow me out if I kept screaming,
232
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:13,959
"Stop the fight."Oh, yeah. I was...appalled.
233
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,679
Kick him in the head!
234
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:17,639
Punch him in the willy!
235
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,039
BELL RINGSOh, my God!
236
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,719
APPLAUSE
237
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,320
BOOING
238
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:39,560
So, er, that's a nice number twoyou've got there.
239
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,560
I love number twos.
240
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,879
I don't mean doing number twos,
241
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:57,600
I just mean I like the shape of a...
242
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,920
..like, a nice, big...
243
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,840
..number two.
244
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,039
Mm.
245
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:12,399
Just tae re-emphasise,I'm
talking aboot that number two,
246
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,439
and not the ones that...
247
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,840
..come out your bum.
248
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,320
Come on. Selfie.
249
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,439
Hi!
250
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,439
Oh, there she is!
251
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,279
Bring it in, Eazy-E.
252
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,759
They were having such a nice
night,and Vincent spoiled it.
253
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,799
Why is he bringing Eilidh
toanother night out with his wife?
254
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,039
Oh! Oh!
255
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,200
Boom.
256
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,799
What are you daein'?!
257
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,740
COLETTE: I've just rememberedwhat
the dry boak feels like.
258
00:12:52,741 --> 00:12:56,639
JASON: That's, like, one ofthe
coolest things I've ever seen
259
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,120
in my life.
260
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,159
Oh, beautiful!
261
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,639
COLETTE: He calls her Eazy-E?
262
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:08,039
I'd love to know what
Difficult-Vmakes of that one.
263
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,319
So, Eilidh? Mm-hm?
264
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,719
What brings you here?
265
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,319
Er, I bought her a ticket.
266
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,079
Of course he did.
267
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,519
And I'll tell you for
why,because riddle me this -
268
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,439
who goes to see fights?
269
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,999
Ding! I know.
270
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,319
Gangsters.
271
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,159
Exactly, gangsters.
272
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,680
Lowlives and their wives.
273
00:13:29,681 --> 00:13:33,439
Er, dae yae want taekeep your voice doon?
274
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,479
You know what I mean, though,shite wae money.
275
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,319
And that's why I've gotthe 10% off vouchers
276
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,359
to go and visit the god of glamhimself.
277
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,679
You're gonnae walk abootasking gangsters' wives
278
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,959
if they want their face fixed?
279
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,799
You'll be the one needingyour
face fixed, ya mad Dib Dab.
280
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,439
She'll be fine!
281
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,919
She is a wee charmer, this one.
282
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,200
I mean, look at her.
283
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,879
She's irresistible!
284
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:02,879
I'll tell you what's irresistible
-the urge to spin his jaw.
285
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,559
You don't treat your wife like that.
286
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,559
If that was Darren acting like that,
287
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:10,359
his baws would be grapplingwae
the blades of his NutriBullet.
288
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,199
What's that weird hand thingthat they did?
289
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:17,159
I was the best ensemble dancerin
the West End for ten years,
290
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,799
and he is practisingthe
Portuguese finger flamenco
291
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,319
with wee Pepper Potts?
292
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:24,239
I will cut his hands offand post them to Moira!
293
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,479
I will lick the stamp.
294
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,759
Do you know what the worst
partof it was? There were at least
295
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,039
ten worst parts of it.People
feeling embarrassed for me.
296
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,919
Screw that. Vonny Scott feelsembarrassed
for other people.
297
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,719
Too right. I feel embarrassed
foryou, Laura, do you know what I mean?
298
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,559
Eh? Vonny Scott does notget other woman-ed.
299
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,119
I am both THE womanand the other woman,
300
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,999
and if there was yet another womanon the side,
301
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,039
I would be her as well,
do you know what I'm saying?
302
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,279
You're every woman? I am Chaka Khan.LAURA GASPS
303
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,799
# Chaka KhanChaka Khan
304
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,839
# Chaka Khan
305
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:48,999
# Chaka KhanChaka Khan
306
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,519
# Let me rock you, let me rock you,Chaka Khan
307
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,319
# It's all I wanna doLet
me rock you, Chaka Khan. #
308
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,479
That felt like fun at the time,but on reflection,
309
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,480
it was a total cringe.
310
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:01,999
Do you know? Henry has his
flaws,but he would never do that.
311
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,319
He is fundamentallya decent guy.
312
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,959
But do you know what he did today,
when I talked about going to uni?
313
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,279
He laughed.
314
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,999
Like, he can't see me as
anythingother than a housewife.
315
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,679
That is exactly what I'm saying -
316
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,479
Henry is fundamentally an arsehole!
317
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,479
Oh, how did we get tied tothese ridiculous men?!
318
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,239
I mean, we are magnificent women.
319
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,799
Yeah.
320
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,199
Girl power.
321
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,120
Right sentiment, doll,wrong millennium. Come on.
322
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,399
Look, I only saidthe lassie was great.
323
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,199
Yae cannae dae that.
324
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,639
Your wife might accept youtelling
her another woman is great
325
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,639
if it's your grannyor wee Jean fae the pub,
326
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,079
who's raised thousands of poundsfor the Beatson,
327
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,399
but no' when it's your attractive,young secretary
328
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,879
who everybody thinksyou're shagging!
329
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,439
What, even if she IS great?
330
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,680
Especially if she is great!
331
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,360
VINCENT SIGHS
332
00:15:56,261 --> 00:16:00,959
I think a mair honest promo videowould have been,
333
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,159
"Jack Piper, I'm absolutelyshiting myself."
334
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:07,279
You know, behind every great
manis an even greater wumman,
335
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:11,159
wae a powerfulyet vulnerable singing voice
336
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,639
that can spit oot venomous
rhymesthat she wrote herself
337
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,839
and doesnae take any snashfae Lynn Weir
338
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,999
or her manky midge-raking family.
339
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,559
That's my favourite quote.
340
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,559
Darren, listen tae me.
341
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:24,799
Who's the champ?
342
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,079
You are.
343
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,920
Wrong. Who's the champ?
344
00:16:27,921 --> 00:16:30,239
Are you talking aboot the UFC?
345
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,479
You're the champ, Darren.
346
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,559
Aw, right, aye, me. I'm the champ.
347
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,999
Yes, and who's got the hunger?
348
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,519
Is that you?
349
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,119
No, that's you as well.
350
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,919
You're the champ andyou've got the hunger.
351
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,239
OK. And who is the mostdangerous
man in the history
352
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,279
of the whole fight game?
353
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:48,720
Khabib Nurmagomedov.
354
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,279
Och, you meant me again, didn't you?
355
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,159
HE SIGHSDarren, look at me.
356
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,000
You are gonnae win this.
357
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,760
Noo this wumman is gonnae
goand sing for her baby.
358
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,999
# I forget myself
359
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:17,279
# I want you to remind me
360
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:21,519
# Oh, I don't want anybody else... #
361
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:22,759
Oh, no this again!
362
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,799
# When I think about you,I touch myself... #
363
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,679
Come on noo,your nephew's sitting there!
364
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,639
There's a wee boy here.
365
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,199
# Oh-oh, oh-oh... #
366
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,599
I'm 23.
367
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:38,799
# I don't want anybody else
368
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:43,559
# When I think about you,I touch myself
369
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,919
# Oh, oh
370
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,359
# I touch myself. #
371
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,439
FEEDBACKThe name's Colette Scott.
372
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,439
New music comin' oot this year.
373
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,479
Just DM me on Instagramfor personal appearances.
374
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,160
Peace out!
375
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,279
SCATTERED APPLAUSE
376
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,780
Come on, Darren, you big ride!
377
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,919
Oh, so she's allowed to say that,is she?
378
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,719
Here are the only things a
wife isallowed to call a big ride.
379
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,079
One, a horse.
380
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,679
Two, a roller-coaster.
381
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,559
Three, her husband.
382
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,320
Four, Tom Hardy, because,
come on,let's be reasonable.
383
00:18:17,321 --> 00:18:20,439
Good, clean fight.Protect
yourselves at all times.
384
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,780
Nothing below the belt, OK?Yous know the rules.
385
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,719
APPLAUSE
386
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,839
Look at the physique on that guy!
387
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,919
He looks like you daein yer ain heid.
388
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,399
Darren's gonnae die.THEY CHUCKLE
389
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,359
LAURA TUTSCome on, Darren, son.
390
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:39,159
BELL RINGS
391
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,040
CROWD GROANSOh, ya basturt!
392
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,679
CROWD GROANS
393
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,480
Oh, my God!
394
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,799
CROWD GROANS
395
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,319
Holy shit!
396
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:55,799
Er, here, that big ride
cametae a sudden halt, didn't it?
397
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,759
That was everything I'd hoped for.
398
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,119
I tell you, last time I
seena stauner go doon that fast
399
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,639
was when my ma caught mewatching Basic Instinct.
400
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,199
Vincent, shut up.
401
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,959
It was like Lord Of The Dance...
402
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,119
..if Darren's face was the stage
403
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,700
and Jack Piper's fistswere
Michael Flatley's feet.
404
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,759
Is that a doctor?
405
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,319
He's all right.
406
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,680
He'll be all right.
407
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,039
DARREN COUGHS
408
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,400
Oh, thank God.
409
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,960
APPLAUSE
410
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,479
Bravo. Bravo.
411
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,120
You quite happy with that, then?
412
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,879
Naw.
413
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,439
I felt bad.
414
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,080
I thought it would be a laughto
see him get a doing, but...
415
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,879
..I forgot how bada doing can be.
416
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,719
You were hoping he'dget his face punched in.
417
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,999
Look, mibbe Vincent wanted himto lose,
418
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,439
but I really wanted him to win.
419
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:55,799
Bro, so, big Dwayne "The
Cock"Johnson might have got beat,
420
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,199
but we didnae, pal.
421
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,719
Here's your winnings.
422
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,340
Any thoughts oan the next fight?
423
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,680
Aye, I think you've just caused it.
424
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,720
Whit did I say tae yae? Aye.
..Whit did I say tae yae?!
425
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,639
Mrs Scott,every voucher's been snatched up.
426
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:22,239
Between you and me, though,the women in here,
427
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,279
their lips are so thin that
theirnoses are practically bouncing
428
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,879
off of their falsers.Mm.
429
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,399
Well, let me bounce this off you.
430
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,240
Are you sleeping with my husband?
431
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:35,600
Er...
432
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,639
I don't know whyyou would ask me that.
433
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,679
Oh! Well, I don't know whyyou
would both spend every day
434
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:44,959
flirting on the front desk.
435
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,559
I don't know why you're
doingtouchy-feely hand shit.
436
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,159
There are a lot of unknowns
here,but the biggest one
437
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,159
being whether or notyou're a wee pump-the-boss.
438
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,879
Mrs Scott, I am absolutely
nota wee pump-the-boss,
439
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,879
if I'm understandingthe meaning of that.
440
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,559
I mean, yes, I stan Vincent.
441
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,279
You "stan" him?
442
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,959
I am a complete professional.I just do my job.
443
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,159
Handing out flyersin a scabby town hall
444
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,039
dressed as Betty Boopisn't your job.
445
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,919
Oh, but it is, Mrs Scott.
446
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,839
I'll do whatever it takesuntil
the name Vincent Scott MD
447
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,199
is known worldwide.
448
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,679
Oh, my God.
449
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,359
You even talk like him.
450
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,559
That's because I believe inwhat we're doing.
451
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,119
That's why I'm so excited
abootthe conference in Birmingham.
452
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,799
It's going to give mea chance to learn...
453
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,279
Wait, you're going tothat
conference with Vincent?
454
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,400
I thought you knew.
455
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,279
I do not stan myself right now.
456
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,680
I could quite happily yeet myselfinto a bin.
457
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,199
Laura.
458
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:50,079
So, you're taking your
wee Eazy-Eto that conference
459
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,599
in Birmingham, mm?
460
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,439
What, the one he didn't want
youto go to? The very one, gorgeous.
461
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:58,119
This is no how this nightwas supposed to go.
462
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:03,159
Right, I know it looks likeI'm
sneaking my assistant away
463
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,839
to an intimate boutique
hotelfor three days. Intimate?!
464
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,559
It's one of thae things,
465
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,359
"Oh, turns out we've gotadjoining
rooms, very cosy."
466
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:14,039
Vincent, stoap talking.
467
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,999
Champagne on ice, "Oh, maybeI
should run you a wee bath,"
468
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,879
and then it's, "I've actuallygot
you a little gift,
469
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,239
"it's some red lingerie..."
470
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,839
Vincent, stoap talking.
471
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,159
I don't know why I'm painting
youthis picture here,
472
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,719
because that's no what it is.
She is my protege, that's it.
473
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,439
"Protege"!Vincent, you aren't Prince.
474
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,799
You might be his height,but that's about it!
475
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,599
Well, Vonny, do you want
to knowwhy Eilidh is gonnae be
476
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,359
accompanying me to that confidence?
"Accompanying"! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
477
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,999
HENRY: Choose your words carefully.
478
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,799
Passion.
479
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,079
Mair carefully than that.
480
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,359
She is passionate aboot my work.
481
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:55,239
You are bored of my work.
482
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,119
And you... You're bored of me.
483
00:22:57,120 --> 00:23:00,759
And quite frankly, Vonny,I am bored of you.
484
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,199
SHE GASPS
485
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,159
You're bored of Vonny Scott?
486
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,919
Well, I will bore youa second arsehole
487
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,559
with the heel of my Louboutins.
488
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,719
You have no idea how lucky you gotlanding me!
489
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,039
Oh, is that right?
490
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,799
Well, I am a self-madesmall business titan
491
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,079
on a millionaire trajectory.
492
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,879
I am Mr Vincent Scott MD.
493
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,439
Ha! You're not even a real MD,you're a dentist.
494
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:30,479
Don't...
495
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,479
I am a doctor of beauty.
496
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:33,719
Dentist!
497
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,199
You're a little bald dentist!
498
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:42,519
Vonny... Everybody bin your flyers,
Vincent Scott MD is a bald dentist!
499
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:47,719
And this jumped-up dancer
here,when she got her dream gig
500
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,719
choreographing a West End
show,it was such a disaster.
501
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,079
A catastrophe.
502
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,759
It was cancelledefter four performances!
503
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,280
You bastard.
504
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,200
You have no ideawhat you've got here!
505
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:09,039
You truly are the onewho is punching, Vincent.
506
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,240
You're punching.
507
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:12,640
Do you know what?
508
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,000
You're right.
509
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:17,880
SHOCKED GASPS
510
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,640
Best punch of the night.
511
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,199
Henry, can you go and seeif Darren's all right?
512
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,159
I'm too scared to go.
513
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,559
I think Vincent might
bein worse shape, to be honest.
514
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,240
Henry, can you just go, please?
515
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,719
What help am I gonnae be?
516
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,679
I arrange my ma's party,it turns intae a rammy.
517
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,599
I arrange a boys' night for Vincent,
he has an emotional breakdown.
518
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,360
I get everybody oot the
night,and look what's happened.
519
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,200
Am I actually daeing any goodfor this family?
520
00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,640
You all right?
521
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,759
I just got straight oot skelpedthere.
522
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,399
Wasnae exactly Thrilla in Manilawas it?
523
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,600
Naw, it was mair likeShiter in Shawlands.
524
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,680
Still, it's a payday.
525
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,320
Aye. 500 quid.
526
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,680
There was another 500 for the win.
527
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,519
HE SIGHSI knew it was too short notice.
528
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,439
So why did you take it oan, then?
529
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:31,279
Because I want to see Colette's
heidbursting through that shitey carpet,
530
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,479
you know?
531
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,679
Whit?
532
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:39,519
I need money to build hera
home studio for her music career.
533
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,559
You soften on a guy when he
putshis body in the firing line
534
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,279
so that your sistercan chase her dream,
535
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,639
even if you know that yoursister is Wile E Coyote
536
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,239
and the dream is the Road Runner.
537
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,640
Well, that's devotion.
538
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,719
You'd do the same for Laura.
539
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,079
I don't know.Have you heard Laura try to sing?
540
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,919
Naw.
541
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,199
I've seen you try to fight but.
542
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,719
Oh! That was quite quick for you,Darren.
543
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,180
Mibbe a wee bit of brain
damagewill sharpen you up.
544
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,519
Oh!
545
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,799
A lot mair people than Darrenwould
need to get punched silly
546
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,959
before Colette has a music career.
547
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,079
But you've got to dae your bitfor family.
548
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:24,039
Here, listen, I sold a bunchof
tickets tae the boys in the work,
549
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,880
so stick that in your bin anaw.
550
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,160
Cheers, Henry, I appreciate it.
551
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,600
Right, mon, let's go see your fans.
552
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,039
HE WINCES
553
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:41,359
Come on.
554
00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:43,000
Let's go.HE WINCES
555
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,599
Oh, my baby!
556
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,519
Look at you.
557
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,119
Still beautiful.
558
00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:57,599
Mair beautiful.
559
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,079
HE WINCESOh! Where's it sore?
560
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,600
Just all the punched bits.
561
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,919
Your lips?
562
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,960
There's definite discomfortin the lips.
563
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,279
Mm, mm-mm.
564
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,600
Here, nae mair tightsower the mic for you.
565
00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:21,519
JASON YELLS
566
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,439
Right, come on noo, you two,get oot that ring.
567
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,199
JASON YELLS
568
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,719
Woo!
569
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,239
Oh, no! Argh!Oh, yeah!
570
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:33,559
Am I surprised that instead ofcoming
after me to try and fix this,
571
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,559
he climbs into the ringwith his nephew
572
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,679
to practise his favouritewrestling moves?
573
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,319
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!
574
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,719
BOTH YELL
575
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,680
I'm not surprised at all.
576
00:27:44,681 --> 00:27:48,479
But it will be a surprise
for himwhen he comes home
577
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,239
to find his PlayStation 5in the Aga
578
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,840
and no Vonny Scott in his bed.
579
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,359
This is over.
580
00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:59,679
One!
581
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,560
Two!
582
00:28:01,561 --> 00:28:05,399
HENRY: You'd better be selling Avon,Vonny!
583
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,519
Laura, can I stay with youa few days?
584
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,479
HE MOUTHS
585
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,359
I know you've taken her
in,ya backstabbing beanpole.
586
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:14,199
What's this?
587
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:15,919
It's a massager.
588
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:17,159
"MASSAGER" VIBRATES
589
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:18,879
Oh!
590
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,039
Vonny staying here is,
like,my dad's worst nightmare.
591
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,680
This is gonnae be brilliant.
592
00:28:23,730 --> 00:28:28,280
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
43400
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese