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1
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The Rockridge Bulk Emporium
Brothers are about three things.
2
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:07,005
BOTH: Infinite savings,
efficiency, and back support.
3
00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:08,607
What's the plan when
we're stuck behind a family
4
00:00:08,743 --> 00:00:10,742
taking up the whole aisle?
5
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,544
Whoo! Spin move!
6
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:15,080
And then, beelining towards the
tube sock 12-pack of my dreams!
7
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,415
What if the three-pack of lunch meats
8
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,950
aren't in the regular spot?
9
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:19,551
I find the lady who
already has them, I say,
10
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,021
"ma'am, where the meat at?!"
11
00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:24,690
Meanwhile, I'm carbo-loading
on tiny pizza samples.
12
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,992
(MAKING CLICKING SOUNDS)
And getting one for my dog.
13
00:00:27,084 --> 00:00:29,651
Boom! It's sample or be sampled!
14
00:00:29,687 --> 00:00:32,054
Come on, can we go now?
15
00:00:32,123 --> 00:00:34,657
Is this what adulthood
is going to be like?
16
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,258
It's the best part.
17
00:00:36,294 --> 00:00:38,326
I honestly feel more complete as a man.
18
00:00:38,362 --> 00:00:39,995
Train's leaving for paradise.
19
00:00:39,997 --> 00:00:41,196
BOTH: Choo-choo!
20
00:00:41,232 --> 00:00:48,771
?
21
00:00:48,773 --> 00:00:52,675
Kids, the chair-making
show we like is on.
22
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:57,346
You want to join? Kids?!
23
00:00:57,635 --> 00:01:00,535
Camille? Babe?
24
00:01:02,706 --> 00:01:03,905
Ramesh?
25
00:01:03,941 --> 00:01:05,507
- (DOORBELL RINGING)
- CAMILLE: I'm writing.
26
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:06,708
Can you get that?
27
00:01:06,777 --> 00:01:07,910
(GROANING)
28
00:01:07,912 --> 00:01:09,077
(DOORBELL RINGING)
29
00:01:09,212 --> 00:01:10,712
Coming!
30
00:01:10,748 --> 00:01:12,581
- (DOORBELL RINGING)
- Whoa!
31
00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:14,950
- Vance. Bob.
- Andrew. Good day.
32
00:01:14,952 --> 00:01:18,720
Andrew, don't you look well? May we?
33
00:01:18,722 --> 00:01:21,323
So, how's suspension treating you, Bob?
34
00:01:21,458 --> 00:01:23,525
Well, I'm just living it up.
35
00:01:23,694 --> 00:01:26,227
Oh, lucky you because
my workload doubled,
36
00:01:26,263 --> 00:01:29,230
and I found out your to-do
list never got to-done.
37
00:01:29,266 --> 00:01:31,266
Which brings us to why we're here.
38
00:01:31,335 --> 00:01:33,268
(SIGHING) Vance and our therapist
39
00:01:33,270 --> 00:01:36,371
thought it would be a good
idea if I apologized to people
40
00:01:36,407 --> 00:01:39,775
for any harm I may have
caused with my "corruption".
41
00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:41,877
- No air quotes.
- My corruption.
42
00:01:41,879 --> 00:01:43,378
So, I guess I owe you an apology.
43
00:01:43,380 --> 00:01:45,213
I regret you may have
been hurt by my actions.
44
00:01:45,348 --> 00:01:46,782
There, I did it.
45
00:01:46,784 --> 00:01:49,184
No, you didn't. Now,
come on, say it, mean it.
46
00:01:49,319 --> 00:01:52,320
(SIGHING) I'm...
47
00:01:52,356 --> 00:01:54,189
I'm s...
48
00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:55,490
I'm s... I am...
49
00:01:55,559 --> 00:01:57,125
I am so...
50
00:01:57,127 --> 00:01:58,527
Why is it so hard to say sorry?
51
00:01:58,529 --> 00:02:01,062
Look, we're good.
52
00:02:01,098 --> 00:02:03,531
It's my first weekend off
with no work in a while
53
00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:05,333
and I just want to chill with my family.
54
00:02:05,402 --> 00:02:08,503
- Yep, you got it. Bye.
- No, Bob.
55
00:02:08,572 --> 00:02:11,006
You know what? Andrew, we would love it
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00:02:11,141 --> 00:02:13,074
if you and your beautiful
family would spend this weekend
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00:02:13,110 --> 00:02:14,276
at our quaint little cottage.
58
00:02:14,411 --> 00:02:15,944
BOTH: What?
59
00:02:16,079 --> 00:02:17,412
Well, we're clearly not going anymore
60
00:02:17,448 --> 00:02:18,680
because we're in need of an emergency
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00:02:18,815 --> 00:02:20,281
couples therapy session.
62
00:02:20,317 --> 00:02:21,750
You're not joking?
63
00:02:21,819 --> 00:02:24,085
I've always wanted to go to a cottage.
64
00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:25,820
Well, it's all yours. Bob
will send you the details.
65
00:02:25,889 --> 00:02:27,322
Let's go, Bob.
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00:02:27,457 --> 00:02:30,492
(SIGHING) Vance, why would you do that?
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00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:32,127
- VANCE: It serves you right!
- (DOOR CLOSING)
68
00:02:32,129 --> 00:02:35,463
Phams, pack your bags!
We're going to a cottage!
69
00:02:38,102 --> 00:02:40,235
Seriously, where is everyone?
70
00:02:40,370 --> 00:02:43,872
?
71
00:02:44,007 --> 00:02:45,240
(HORNS HONKING)
72
00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:46,842
RAMESH (ON PHONE:) Oh, how's traffic?
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00:02:46,844 --> 00:02:48,710
It sucks. I just turned off the engine.
74
00:02:48,746 --> 00:02:50,178
We're literally just parked here.
75
00:02:50,314 --> 00:02:52,314
How do so many people have cottages?
76
00:02:52,316 --> 00:02:54,249
Hmm, generational wealth.
77
00:02:54,384 --> 00:02:58,119
Dad, are you sure you're going
to be okay alone this weekend?
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00:02:58,155 --> 00:03:00,422
Oh, I'll be fully occupied.
79
00:03:00,557 --> 00:03:01,657
CAMILLE: Making pancakes.
80
00:03:01,792 --> 00:03:03,258
Waffles, actually.
81
00:03:03,393 --> 00:03:06,194
Don't worry, I shan't
burn down the house.
82
00:03:06,263 --> 00:03:09,297
In fact, I have a few homey
things to tackle around here.
83
00:03:09,432 --> 00:03:11,266
Uh, really? Like what?
84
00:03:11,268 --> 00:03:13,267
The house shan't be burned down.
85
00:03:13,304 --> 00:03:14,670
That is your takeaway here.
86
00:03:14,805 --> 00:03:16,405
- Okay.
- RAMESH: Well, ta-ta.
87
00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:18,373
- Watch out for bears.
- (PHONE BEEPING)
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00:03:18,442 --> 00:03:20,341
This cottage is in, like,
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00:03:20,377 --> 00:03:22,411
deep woods, with an outhouse, right?
90
00:03:22,546 --> 00:03:25,213
Vance said it was "quaint yet rustic".
91
00:03:25,215 --> 00:03:27,281
What white people call "roughing it".
92
00:03:27,318 --> 00:03:29,551
Woodsy Walter stays in
his own shelter alone.
93
00:03:29,553 --> 00:03:31,620
- I'm going to try it.
- Who's Woodsy Walter?
94
00:03:31,755 --> 00:03:34,021
- Some dork he follows.
- You're the dork.
95
00:03:34,058 --> 00:03:35,356
Khia, what are you listening to?
96
00:03:35,392 --> 00:03:37,959
Oh, it's the Cabin Cleaver podcast.
97
00:03:38,095 --> 00:03:41,095
There is a serial killer out
near the lake we're going to,
98
00:03:41,131 --> 00:03:44,299
back in the early 2000s,
the Lakeside Lopper.
99
00:03:44,368 --> 00:03:45,901
He lopped off six people's heads.
100
00:03:46,036 --> 00:03:47,836
(LAUGHING)
101
00:03:47,838 --> 00:03:49,170
The radio up here is so quirky.
102
00:03:49,206 --> 00:03:50,772
DJ (ON RADIO:) Great news, folks.
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00:03:50,808 --> 00:03:53,108
The world's biggest beer cozy landmark
104
00:03:53,243 --> 00:03:54,976
has reopened for the season.
105
00:03:54,978 --> 00:03:57,212
So, bring the family,
but expect a line-up.
106
00:03:57,214 --> 00:03:59,447
Yes! That's on my DIDIL: My...
107
00:03:59,516 --> 00:04:01,849
ALL: Dream it, do it list.
108
00:04:01,885 --> 00:04:04,986
Real talk, I cleared my insane
schedule for this weekend,
109
00:04:05,022 --> 00:04:06,988
so my DIDIL involves doing nada.
110
00:04:07,057 --> 00:04:09,791
Fine, you earned it.
111
00:04:09,827 --> 00:04:11,859
But spending time together
as a family in nature
112
00:04:11,895 --> 00:04:14,395
is number one on my DIDIL.
113
00:04:14,431 --> 00:04:16,064
Since when are you interested in nature?
114
00:04:16,199 --> 00:04:18,333
I never got to do stuff
in the wild growing up.
115
00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:21,603
The closest I ever came was, this
one time, my cousin Lily threw
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00:04:21,672 --> 00:04:24,606
a computer into a ravine and
my uncle made us fish it out.
117
00:04:24,608 --> 00:04:26,374
My mom didn't want me to
spend too much time in the sun
118
00:04:26,410 --> 00:04:28,543
because my skin would get darker.
119
00:04:28,545 --> 00:04:31,078
Shadism is not a good look, Naniji.
120
00:04:31,115 --> 00:04:34,081
Lucky for you, your parents are perfect.
121
00:04:34,118 --> 00:04:35,517
BOTH: Eeeeee!
122
00:04:35,652 --> 00:04:37,285
DJ (ON RADIO:) Break out the crokinole,
123
00:04:37,354 --> 00:04:40,021
the forecast is calling for more rain.
124
00:04:40,023 --> 00:04:41,857
Ignore that.
125
00:04:41,859 --> 00:04:44,225
We're going to enjoy the hell
out of this beautiful country.
126
00:04:44,294 --> 00:04:46,561
- (HORN HONKING)
- Come on!
127
00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:49,498
We're trying to build
some core memories here!
128
00:04:49,633 --> 00:04:53,034
?
129
00:04:53,170 --> 00:04:55,503
Get out of here, stupid bugs! Come on!
130
00:04:55,539 --> 00:04:57,305
You're supposed to spray yourself.
131
00:04:57,374 --> 00:04:58,973
Or go natural.
132
00:04:59,042 --> 00:05:01,042
Woodsy Walter showed how
to harvest citronella oil.
133
00:05:01,044 --> 00:05:02,777
You're obsessed with that guy.
134
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,312
You're one to talk, murder girl.
135
00:05:04,381 --> 00:05:06,714
Don't fight. This is nature time.
136
00:05:06,716 --> 00:05:08,249
It's beautiful.
137
00:05:08,318 --> 00:05:09,985
(GAGGING) Bug. Ugh.
138
00:05:12,589 --> 00:05:14,890
ALL: Whoa!
139
00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:16,458
This is fancier than our house.
140
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:18,059
They have VR headsets?
141
00:05:18,128 --> 00:05:20,528
Oh, it smells like a spa.
142
00:05:20,597 --> 00:05:22,530
- Nice.
- They got 6G up here.
143
00:05:22,566 --> 00:05:23,798
I'm listening to the last episode.
144
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:25,133
No.
145
00:05:25,135 --> 00:05:26,501
It's DIDIL time. Come on!
146
00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:29,203
I've got some classic
cottage fun in mind.
147
00:05:29,239 --> 00:05:30,739
Listening to podcasts?
148
00:05:30,874 --> 00:05:33,875
Splitting up to see who can
survive the longest off the land?
149
00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:35,243
Finding the hot tub.
150
00:05:35,245 --> 00:05:36,644
Let me give you a hint.
151
00:05:36,646 --> 00:05:40,815
Zzz! Plop!
152
00:05:40,851 --> 00:05:43,084
Oh, what do we have here?
153
00:05:43,153 --> 00:05:46,320
It's fishing! Huh?
154
00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:56,230
Is this going to get any less boring?
155
00:05:56,266 --> 00:05:58,700
Fishing is not about rushing.
156
00:05:58,835 --> 00:06:02,971
Woodsy Walter catches
fish with his bare hands.
157
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,306
I will give you all of my tet
money if you can catch a fish
158
00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:07,175
with your bare hands.
159
00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:09,176
No, no, you're not going to do that.
160
00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:10,778
He wants to; Let him.
161
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:13,114
(SIGHING) Whoa!
162
00:06:13,116 --> 00:06:14,282
Oh! Oh!
163
00:06:14,351 --> 00:06:15,984
What do I do?! What do I do?!
164
00:06:15,986 --> 00:06:17,618
Okay, I'll look it up, I'll
look it up, I'll look it up.
165
00:06:17,654 --> 00:06:19,120
(SCREECHING HAPPILY)
166
00:06:19,255 --> 00:06:22,858
Um, okay. "Lure it in
and... remove the hook
167
00:06:22,993 --> 00:06:24,259
and bludgeon its head."
168
00:06:24,328 --> 00:06:26,661
What? I'm not going to do that. No.
169
00:06:26,697 --> 00:06:29,130
- Andrew, Andrew.
- Oh, no, no. You're the chef,
170
00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:30,732
and I have an overactive gag reflex.
171
00:06:30,801 --> 00:06:32,133
- Ugh!
- Ugh! Okay!
172
00:06:32,269 --> 00:06:33,434
Whoa!
173
00:06:33,504 --> 00:06:35,070
Ahh!
174
00:06:35,072 --> 00:06:36,271
Ho, ho, ho!
175
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:37,872
The Lopper!
176
00:06:37,908 --> 00:06:40,008
Is there a head inside?
177
00:06:40,010 --> 00:06:41,376
Why is that your first thought?
178
00:06:41,511 --> 00:06:43,545
Okay, fine. Maybe no fish sticks,
179
00:06:43,547 --> 00:06:47,548
but we can have some
campfire s'mores tonight.
180
00:06:47,584 --> 00:06:48,816
There's a fire ban in the area.
181
00:06:48,852 --> 00:06:50,485
What?!
182
00:06:50,487 --> 00:06:52,821
Well, there goes DIDIL number
four through twenty-one.
183
00:06:52,823 --> 00:06:54,855
I already got another one. Let's go!
184
00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:06,765
Huzzah! Ha-ha! Now, that's aligned.
185
00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:10,121
No more five degrees off
for you, Mr. Tea cupboard.
186
00:07:10,157 --> 00:07:11,789
(CHUCKLING)
187
00:07:11,825 --> 00:07:15,326
I do like being able to talk
to myself out loud again.
188
00:07:15,328 --> 00:07:17,929
There's something so pleasuring
189
00:07:17,998 --> 00:07:20,798
about self-auditory stimulation.
190
00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:22,600
All right.
191
00:07:22,669 --> 00:07:26,404
Ah, yes, the ice maker
has been acting up again.
192
00:07:26,406 --> 00:07:28,807
Ah...
193
00:07:32,245 --> 00:07:34,412
(GRINDING WHIRRING)
194
00:07:34,547 --> 00:07:38,015
That's new.
195
00:07:38,085 --> 00:07:40,417
- (WHIRRING)
- Ah! Ah!
196
00:07:40,454 --> 00:07:42,453
Ah!
197
00:07:42,456 --> 00:07:44,556
Aah! (GRUNTING)
198
00:07:44,558 --> 00:07:52,558
?
199
00:07:54,434 --> 00:07:58,303
? Our house had the biggest patio ?
200
00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:02,707
? Our house had all the summer shade ?
201
00:08:02,776 --> 00:08:04,709
(COUGHING)
202
00:08:04,844 --> 00:08:09,047
- ? We had patio lanterns ?
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
203
00:08:10,316 --> 00:08:13,017
? Those patio lanterns ?
204
00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:16,454
? They were the stars in our sky ?
205
00:08:18,091 --> 00:08:21,993
? Those patio lanterns ?
206
00:08:21,995 --> 00:08:24,428
ANDREW: Sun's out!
207
00:08:24,464 --> 00:08:26,131
There you are.
208
00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:29,133
Only found one, but we can take turns.
209
00:08:29,169 --> 00:08:32,403
No, I'm done. I am making my own DIDIL.
210
00:08:32,539 --> 00:08:36,341
It's called DMOTAC, do
my own thing and chill.
211
00:08:36,476 --> 00:08:37,742
Khia!
212
00:08:37,877 --> 00:08:40,477
Same. Time to Woodsy Walter it up.
213
00:08:40,514 --> 00:08:42,046
Leo!
214
00:08:42,182 --> 00:08:43,480
Okay, but we could still...
215
00:08:45,585 --> 00:08:47,585
I found a float tank in the west wing.
216
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,221
I love you, though.
217
00:08:50,290 --> 00:08:51,589
Babe... (SIGHING)
218
00:08:51,658 --> 00:08:54,692
Traitors! All of you!
219
00:08:54,761 --> 00:08:57,494
- (BUZZING)
- Ah.
220
00:08:57,531 --> 00:08:59,430
Who left the door open?
221
00:08:59,566 --> 00:09:01,498
God! Stupid bugs. Gah!
222
00:09:05,739 --> 00:09:09,774
? Higher, higher, higher, higher ?
223
00:09:11,311 --> 00:09:13,578
It is not hot in here.
224
00:09:13,647 --> 00:09:15,813
Yeah, I couldn't figure
out how to turn it on,
225
00:09:15,849 --> 00:09:18,917
but the smell of cedar,
it's enough to take me away.
226
00:09:18,919 --> 00:09:20,851
Oh, my God!
227
00:09:20,887 --> 00:09:23,254
What happened to your face?
228
00:09:23,256 --> 00:09:24,788
Bird watching.
229
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:27,458
More like birds watching
me, than attacking me.
230
00:09:27,527 --> 00:09:30,127
Yeah, might be time to
let go of this DIDIL stuff.
231
00:09:30,163 --> 00:09:32,196
I can't believe the kids don't care.
232
00:09:32,232 --> 00:09:35,065
Didn't our families immigrate
to give us a better life?
233
00:09:35,101 --> 00:09:37,641
Indoors! I like to
believe that my ancestors
234
00:09:37,642 --> 00:09:39,437
struggled so that, one day,
235
00:09:39,441 --> 00:09:42,609
I could eat curly fries in a hot
sauna, and I want that for them.
236
00:09:42,744 --> 00:09:44,944
Maybe I just need to
meet them on their level.
237
00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:49,348
Or you could help me check
off something on my DIDIL.
238
00:09:49,384 --> 00:09:51,150
We can do that anytime!
239
00:09:51,219 --> 00:09:53,953
This is my only chance to
sing tragically hip at sunset.
240
00:09:53,989 --> 00:09:55,521
Name one song.
241
00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:58,357
Not the point!
242
00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:03,696
HUDSON: Hello?
243
00:10:03,698 --> 00:10:05,431
- Ahh!
- Hey, Ramesh.
244
00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:08,568
Just dropping off Andrew's
half of the bulk birdseed.
245
00:10:08,703 --> 00:10:10,103
You good?
246
00:10:10,238 --> 00:10:12,037
Perfectly fine, thank you.
247
00:10:13,908 --> 00:10:16,442
Oh, hey, man, incontinence
is nothing to be ashamed of.
248
00:10:16,511 --> 00:10:18,611
- What?! No!
- My grandma June has a...
249
00:10:18,746 --> 00:10:20,580
The ice maker's broken.
250
00:10:20,715 --> 00:10:24,317
Andrew usually fixes it. I
thought I'd give it a try.
251
00:10:24,386 --> 00:10:25,651
Oh, no problem, I have the same fridge,
252
00:10:25,687 --> 00:10:29,054
Rockridge Bulk Emporium two-pack.
253
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:30,289
Mind if I...
254
00:10:30,358 --> 00:10:31,791
- Be my guest.
- All right.
255
00:10:31,926 --> 00:10:33,426
See?
256
00:10:33,561 --> 00:10:37,797
Right... under here. So,
we just get in here...
257
00:10:37,932 --> 00:10:40,399
- No, stop!
- Let me just...
258
00:10:40,435 --> 00:10:41,800
Stop touching things.
259
00:10:43,205 --> 00:10:45,605
Oopsie.
260
00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:47,006
You broke it.
261
00:10:49,878 --> 00:10:51,711
I can't let this food go to waste.
262
00:10:51,713 --> 00:10:53,212
Can we take some of it to your house?
263
00:10:53,248 --> 00:10:57,049
Sorry, man, my fridge is packed
to the max with infinite savings.
264
00:10:57,118 --> 00:11:00,552
Well, then... hungry?
265
00:11:04,626 --> 00:11:06,558
Hey, hey, my baby girl.
266
00:11:06,595 --> 00:11:08,561
May I?
267
00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:09,931
(SIGHING) Yeah.
268
00:11:11,763 --> 00:11:13,630
Hey, we might not have a campfire,
269
00:11:13,699 --> 00:11:15,031
but we can still tell some stories.
270
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:17,767
Yeah. Um...
271
00:11:17,902 --> 00:11:21,237
Okay. I'll tell a story.
272
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,439
All right. It's on my DIDIL...
273
00:11:22,574 --> 00:11:24,674
Lit only by his lantern,
274
00:11:24,676 --> 00:11:27,377
the Lakeside Lopper would stalk
campers and cut off their heads.
275
00:11:27,446 --> 00:11:32,115
Then, he would dry out their
tendons and braid them together,
276
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,984
so that he could use it
for rope for his shelter.
277
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:38,188
He'd grab their organs right...
278
00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:40,390
No, no, I can't. I can't.
279
00:11:40,459 --> 00:11:41,691
No. And then, he'd take their skin
280
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,059
and rip it right off their bones.
281
00:11:43,194 --> 00:11:45,061
La-la-la-la-la-la-la! Not listening!
282
00:11:45,196 --> 00:11:49,865
People still think
that he might be alive!
283
00:11:53,138 --> 00:11:54,937
Too easy.
284
00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,142
Whoa!
285
00:11:59,277 --> 00:12:01,678
This is like the Ritz-Carlton
of forest shelters.
286
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,012
Can I help?
287
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,346
The point is to kind of do it alone.
288
00:12:04,383 --> 00:12:06,182
Oh.
289
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:11,755
Fine. You can join in for a bit.
290
00:12:11,757 --> 00:12:13,690
All right.
291
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,859
? Me and my favourite boy ?
292
00:12:16,928 --> 00:12:20,764
- ? Build it in the wood ?
- Hey! I work better in silence.
293
00:12:20,766 --> 00:12:24,501
Oh, respect the craft. Gotcha.
294
00:12:24,636 --> 00:12:26,236
Oh, spider!
295
00:12:26,238 --> 00:12:28,904
(YELPING, WHIMPERING)
296
00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:31,174
Dad, your arm's bleeding.
297
00:12:31,176 --> 00:12:32,541
I'll make a poultice.
298
00:12:32,677 --> 00:12:35,111
No, no, no, no. Come
on. I'll walk it off.
299
00:12:35,246 --> 00:12:37,379
I'll walk it off.
300
00:12:37,416 --> 00:12:39,215
(WINCING) Ahh...
301
00:12:39,251 --> 00:12:41,384
? Only got one arm ?
302
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:44,521
? Not gonna slow me down ?
303
00:12:44,523 --> 00:12:46,856
Dad, Woodsy Walter
says his number one tip
304
00:12:46,858 --> 00:12:49,526
is to cut dead weight.
305
00:12:49,661 --> 00:12:52,195
Oh, no problem.
306
00:12:52,197 --> 00:12:53,830
Tell me if you want to hang out later.
307
00:12:53,832 --> 00:12:55,865
Maybe we'll go for a little swim.
308
00:12:55,934 --> 00:12:57,900
Maybe.
309
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:08,812
Ha-ha! Look at us, two bachelors
cooking up a fridge full of food
310
00:13:08,814 --> 00:13:11,414
on a Saturday night, doing the thing.
311
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,750
All I wanted to do was
312
00:13:13,819 --> 00:13:16,552
fix some things and pleasure myself
313
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,155
with endless self-auditory stimulation.
314
00:13:19,290 --> 00:13:21,558
Look at how that went.
315
00:13:21,693 --> 00:13:23,226
Okay, it's not that bad.
316
00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:25,628
I should accept that
things just don't go my way.
317
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,429
That's not true.
318
00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:30,233
You have so many things
going right; House to live in,
319
00:13:30,302 --> 00:13:32,835
food to eat, friends.
320
00:13:32,904 --> 00:13:34,504
(OVEN BEEPING)
321
00:13:34,573 --> 00:13:37,439
Oh, my God, the pizza tacos!
322
00:13:37,476 --> 00:13:40,709
- Let me up.
- (BOTH GRUNTING)
323
00:13:42,147 --> 00:13:44,380
This rock-skipping game looks so real.
324
00:13:44,516 --> 00:13:46,249
What's your record so far?
325
00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:48,918
One-and-a-half rocks
if I skip two rocks.
326
00:13:49,053 --> 00:13:51,320
So, you didn't want to go
canoe portaging with Dad?
327
00:13:51,356 --> 00:13:54,190
I don't even think he knows
what "portaging" means.
328
00:13:54,325 --> 00:13:56,058
Do you think he even likes this stuff?
329
00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:58,995
I think that this is his way to
force us to spend time with him.
330
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,130
What even is a core memory, anyway?
331
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,398
Something you'll always remember.
332
00:14:02,434 --> 00:14:04,534
I mean, trauma, right?
333
00:14:04,603 --> 00:14:06,202
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- Totally.
334
00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:11,107
Even though this is a
serial killer's playground,
335
00:14:11,242 --> 00:14:13,610
it's pretty chill.
336
00:14:13,745 --> 00:14:15,178
It must have sucked that Mom and Dad
337
00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:16,946
never got to do this until now.
338
00:14:16,948 --> 00:14:19,215
Remember when they wanted
to "embrace Winter",
339
00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:20,883
and so they took us skiing?
340
00:14:20,952 --> 00:14:22,751
Mom couldn't even get off the ski lift
341
00:14:22,788 --> 00:14:25,221
and Dad went down backwards.
342
00:14:25,356 --> 00:14:27,423
Yeah. I mean, at least they always try.
343
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:30,360
Yeah, that's pretty cool, I guess.
344
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:31,961
- Wanna go outside?
- Sure.
345
00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:33,929
There's a Lopper crime
scene I wanna check out.
346
00:14:40,572 --> 00:14:42,805
(SIGHING CONTENTEDLY)
347
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:47,910
Oh!
348
00:14:47,979 --> 00:14:50,045
Okay, now, it's too hot.
349
00:14:50,081 --> 00:14:52,114
I figured out how to turn it on.
350
00:14:52,116 --> 00:14:54,851
It's voice-activated.
351
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,686
? I got lots of ?
352
00:14:57,722 --> 00:15:01,123
? Curly fries! ?
353
00:15:01,159 --> 00:15:02,592
I think we should put
the parental controls
354
00:15:02,594 --> 00:15:04,260
back on the kids' Internet.
355
00:15:04,395 --> 00:15:07,196
No more podcasts or Woodsy Walters.
356
00:15:07,265 --> 00:15:09,399
Why? Because it teaches
them independent thought?
357
00:15:09,568 --> 00:15:12,001
Exactly. It's too much.
358
00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:13,535
No, they're growing older.
359
00:15:13,572 --> 00:15:15,338
It's natural for them to want space.
360
00:15:15,407 --> 00:15:17,807
It feels like they
don't need me anymore.
361
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:19,342
(KIDS SCREAMING)
362
00:15:19,344 --> 00:15:20,743
- What is that?
- The kids!
363
00:15:20,779 --> 00:15:22,679
- (KIDS SCREAMING)
- Daddy's coming!
364
00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:25,949
- Sauna off!
- VOICE ASSISTANT: Okay.
365
00:15:25,951 --> 00:15:30,186
(KIDS SCREAMING)
366
00:15:30,188 --> 00:15:32,288
We were just in the woods!
367
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:34,556
- We saw a bear!
- Bears don't carry axes!
368
00:15:34,593 --> 00:15:36,392
It's the Lopper!
369
00:15:36,428 --> 00:15:38,360
Holy crap!
370
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,829
Big fur! What do we do?!
371
00:15:40,866 --> 00:15:43,833
If it's brown, lay down, and
if it's black, fight back.
372
00:15:43,968 --> 00:15:46,636
It was like a black-brown.
Maybe more brown-black?
373
00:15:46,705 --> 00:15:48,737
- Quick! Shoulder to shoulder!
- Look big! And move!
374
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,373
Okay! Aah!
375
00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,642
Just in case, I want you all to know
376
00:15:52,644 --> 00:15:54,210
I love you all so much.
377
00:15:54,345 --> 00:15:56,512
And I was the one who stunk
up the van on the way here.
378
00:15:56,648 --> 00:15:58,381
- Ugh.
- Love you, too.
379
00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:00,116
Part of me wants it to be the Lopper.
380
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,051
I'm not well.
381
00:16:02,053 --> 00:16:04,654
I love all of you so much, and
I forced you to do the DIDIL
382
00:16:04,723 --> 00:16:06,389
because I think we're drifting apart.
383
00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:08,924
Sometimes, I bite...
My toenails before bed.
384
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,726
ALL: Eww.
385
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:11,961
Love you?
386
00:16:11,997 --> 00:16:13,196
(ROARING)
387
00:16:13,331 --> 00:16:17,266
(SCREAMING)
388
00:16:17,269 --> 00:16:20,069
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa! Put down the oar.
389
00:16:20,138 --> 00:16:22,071
Someone forgot to sheath this.
390
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,606
Bob?
391
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:26,342
Why are you dressed
like an apex predator?
392
00:16:26,344 --> 00:16:29,278
Like I'm letting Vance have my fur.
393
00:16:29,314 --> 00:16:31,547
Okay, but why are you here?
394
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,182
Vance kicked me out.
395
00:16:33,251 --> 00:16:37,687
And then... I got fired.
396
00:16:37,689 --> 00:16:39,888
And then, my car ran out of electricity.
397
00:16:39,925 --> 00:16:42,692
I had to slog for an
hour through the woods.
398
00:16:42,761 --> 00:16:44,560
Wait, you got fired?
399
00:16:44,596 --> 00:16:47,429
Oh, that's terrible news, man.
400
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,765
Yeah. (SOBBING)
401
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:52,368
Oh... Bob, I'm sorry you're
going through a rough time.
402
00:16:52,503 --> 00:16:54,170
(SOBBING)
403
00:16:54,172 --> 00:16:57,239
- (SOBBING CONTINUES)
- I got you, buddy.
404
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:05,047
?
405
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:06,783
Love the air fryer, Bob.
406
00:17:06,785 --> 00:17:08,584
So roomy.
407
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,253
- Take it.
- Oh, that's not nece...
408
00:17:10,388 --> 00:17:12,254
Kids are grown, they never come up.
409
00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:13,856
Vance and I thought we'd retire here.
410
00:17:13,925 --> 00:17:15,725
I guess I can now.
411
00:17:15,794 --> 00:17:18,127
(SCOFFING) You do a little
light money laundering
412
00:17:18,262 --> 00:17:20,330
and suddenly, everybody's
so by the book.
413
00:17:20,465 --> 00:17:23,065
Well, at least you
still have this place.
414
00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:25,601
Yeah. It was my grandfather's.
Then, we did a massive reno.
415
00:17:25,603 --> 00:17:28,137
I had to go to court
with my sister for it.
416
00:17:28,272 --> 00:17:30,006
I haven't seen her in ten years.
417
00:17:30,141 --> 00:17:32,942
But that lake view, it's worth it.
418
00:17:32,944 --> 00:17:34,744
I take it you enjoyed yourself?
419
00:17:34,813 --> 00:17:36,612
It was all right.
420
00:17:36,648 --> 00:17:39,948
Tackled some things on
my did... activity list.
421
00:17:39,985 --> 00:17:42,017
They didn't seem into it.
422
00:17:42,053 --> 00:17:44,020
Yeah, family's overrated.
423
00:17:44,089 --> 00:17:47,423
You compromise, you sacrifice,
you make activity lists.
424
00:17:47,492 --> 00:17:48,957
And for what?
425
00:17:48,994 --> 00:17:52,561
Well, for a chance to
love and be loved back.
426
00:17:52,597 --> 00:17:54,364
(CHUCKLING MIRTHLESSLY)
Love only leads to hurt.
427
00:17:54,499 --> 00:17:57,100
Yeah, but then it comes back
to love and understanding.
428
00:17:57,102 --> 00:17:59,702
(CHATTERING)
429
00:17:59,771 --> 00:18:01,136
It's unconditional.
430
00:18:01,172 --> 00:18:02,905
Well, if they keep rejecting you,
431
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,640
you can stay here with me.
432
00:18:04,642 --> 00:18:07,310
Ha! I think I'll do pretty
much anything in my power
433
00:18:07,445 --> 00:18:08,777
to make sure that doesn't happen.
434
00:18:08,813 --> 00:18:10,313
And on that note,
435
00:18:10,448 --> 00:18:12,915
they wanted to leave hours ago, so...
436
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,451
- Okay, it's been a time.
- Take care, Bob.
437
00:18:15,487 --> 00:18:17,119
(SIGHING)
438
00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:19,721
And I hope the lake heals your heart.
439
00:18:19,758 --> 00:18:21,057
Let's go, Phams!
440
00:18:24,195 --> 00:18:26,195
(SNORTING)
441
00:18:26,264 --> 00:18:28,865
Ah! Aah!
442
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,002
(GROANING) Food hangover is no joke.
443
00:18:33,004 --> 00:18:36,005
Neither is a real hangover.
444
00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:39,942
Your pi�a coladas were too delicious.
445
00:18:40,011 --> 00:18:42,077
Hey, if you have a pile
of coconuts to use...
446
00:18:42,113 --> 00:18:44,813
BOTH: You colada them!
447
00:18:44,849 --> 00:18:46,215
(CHUCKLING)
448
00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:47,883
Thank you for helping, Hudson.
449
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:51,287
I'm sorry for my bad
mood. It's been hard.
450
00:18:51,356 --> 00:18:54,357
Hey, hit me, Meshey.
451
00:18:54,492 --> 00:18:56,225
I never thought, at this age,
452
00:18:56,227 --> 00:18:58,627
I'd be living in my daughter's basement.
453
00:18:58,663 --> 00:19:01,230
I thought by fixing these things,
454
00:19:01,365 --> 00:19:03,633
I could gain some sense of
control, even for a moment.
455
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,302
I couldn't even have that.
456
00:19:06,371 --> 00:19:08,637
I feel you.
457
00:19:08,706 --> 00:19:12,108
I never thought I'd be a
single dad raising a teenager.
458
00:19:12,243 --> 00:19:13,642
Now, that's hardship.
459
00:19:13,678 --> 00:19:15,778
Ha! I had my time with that.
460
00:19:15,847 --> 00:19:17,846
And Camille turned out great.
461
00:19:17,882 --> 00:19:20,983
You made the best out
of a hard situation,
462
00:19:21,019 --> 00:19:22,985
just like last night.
463
00:19:23,054 --> 00:19:25,654
Gotta take it one samosa at a time.
464
00:19:25,690 --> 00:19:27,924
You're right. Thanks.
465
00:19:28,059 --> 00:19:31,327
Do you think your bulk
depot sells single fridges?
466
00:19:31,396 --> 00:19:33,996
I could at least start
looking for a replacement.
467
00:19:34,032 --> 00:19:37,466
(CHUCKLING) It has nearly everything.
468
00:19:37,535 --> 00:19:39,535
It's beautiful.
469
00:19:46,124 --> 00:19:48,791
DJ (ON RADIO:)
The highway is bumper to bumper
470
00:19:48,793 --> 00:19:52,461
out of cottage country. Why
would anyone want to leave?
471
00:19:52,463 --> 00:19:53,929
I'm sorry I pushed way too hard
472
00:19:54,065 --> 00:19:55,998
and was only focused on what I wanted.
473
00:19:56,133 --> 00:19:59,668
I just wanted to give you kids
the classic Canadian experience.
474
00:19:59,704 --> 00:20:01,870
Yeah, but classic for who, Dad?
475
00:20:01,906 --> 00:20:03,271
Man...
476
00:20:03,308 --> 00:20:04,607
Growing up,
477
00:20:04,742 --> 00:20:08,410
I wanted to be white so bad, or just...
478
00:20:08,446 --> 00:20:09,879
At least to have the
things they got to have.
479
00:20:10,014 --> 00:20:11,614
Yeah, I felt like they had all the fun.
480
00:20:11,616 --> 00:20:13,015
- ANDREW: Yeah.
- We're fun,
481
00:20:13,150 --> 00:20:14,817
and we have traditions, too,
482
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,885
like those letters you write
us on our first day of school.
483
00:20:16,921 --> 00:20:20,422
And making me lie about my
age, so we get things cheaper.
484
00:20:20,458 --> 00:20:21,924
Yeah, and our new tradition,
485
00:20:21,993 --> 00:20:24,160
making fun of Leo for
biting his toenail.
486
00:20:24,162 --> 00:20:25,895
(CHUCKLING)
487
00:20:26,030 --> 00:20:28,331
Come on. I thought we were going to die.
488
00:20:28,466 --> 00:20:30,933
Yeah, we make our own version
of classic experiences.
489
00:20:30,935 --> 00:20:34,970
How about making a giant
beer cozy one of our classics?
490
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:37,038
Babe, do not tease me.
491
00:20:37,075 --> 00:20:38,507
No, Dad, let's do it.
492
00:20:38,576 --> 00:20:40,309
Let's check one off of our DIDIL!
493
00:20:40,444 --> 00:20:43,012
That's what I'm talking about!
494
00:20:43,014 --> 00:20:44,513
Once this traffic moves!
495
00:20:44,515 --> 00:20:46,248
- (HORN HONKING)
- Okay...
496
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,383
Seriously! Move! Just go!
497
00:20:48,452 --> 00:20:50,720
We're all headed to the same place.
498
00:20:50,855 --> 00:20:52,288
(WHIMPERING)
499
00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:55,056
(CROW CAWING)
500
00:20:55,093 --> 00:20:56,925
FEMALE AGENT: Whoever did this
really knows what they're doing.
501
00:20:56,994 --> 00:21:00,395
MALE AGENT: Never seen
one of these before.
502
00:21:00,431 --> 00:21:01,930
(SNIFFING) Jeez.
503
00:21:01,966 --> 00:21:03,666
The bottle's all sticky, too.
504
00:21:03,668 --> 00:21:04,934
It's gotta be covered in prints.
505
00:21:05,069 --> 00:21:08,937
FEMALE AGENT: Got something.
506
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,407
- Looks like blood.
- Call in forensics now.
507
00:21:11,476 --> 00:21:14,276
Yeah. Wait. Does this mean... ?
508
00:21:14,278 --> 00:21:15,411
(SIGHING)
509
00:21:17,148 --> 00:21:19,281
The Lakeside Lopper is back.
510
00:21:19,350 --> 00:21:22,418
(CROW CAWING)
511
00:21:22,487 --> 00:21:24,120
?
512
00:21:24,255 --> 00:21:25,754
RADIO DJ: The local
police advise everyone
513
00:21:25,823 --> 00:21:27,289
to lock their doors and boathouses.
514
00:21:27,325 --> 00:21:29,658
It seems as if the
dreaded Lakeside Lopper
515
00:21:29,694 --> 00:21:30,960
is back on the prowl.
516
00:21:31,095 --> 00:21:33,528
In other news, there was huge traffic
517
00:21:33,564 --> 00:21:36,131
getting into the world's
biggest beer cozy landmark
518
00:21:36,167 --> 00:21:37,399
this opening weekend.
519
00:21:37,534 --> 00:21:38,968
(HORNS HONKING)
520
00:21:38,970 --> 00:21:41,237
ANDREW: This line-up
has taken five hours,
521
00:21:41,372 --> 00:21:43,906
but it's worth it because
it was on my DIDIL.
522
00:21:43,908 --> 00:21:46,375
I am so thirsty. Do you have any water?
523
00:21:46,510 --> 00:21:48,977
RADIO DJ: I'm not sure what a DIDIL is,
524
00:21:49,013 --> 00:21:50,579
but I hope it's nothing bad.
525
00:21:50,581 --> 00:21:52,514
(LOON CALLING)
526
00:21:52,564 --> 00:21:57,114
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