Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:05,037
(ELECTRIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,406
ANDREW: Hailing from Calgary, Alberta,
3
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:11,076
the family man with the
ultimate wrestling body slam.
4
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:14,513
It's the Battering Pham!
5
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:18,517
Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!
6
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:22,587
Are you ready for the
TV event of the summer?!
7
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:25,858
Summer, summer, summer.
8
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,326
Looks like we got a grudge match,
9
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,660
ladies and gentlemen!
10
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:32,264
Who's the Battering Pham up against?
11
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,865
Looking for 50 bucks,
12
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,334
she's the champ with no money,
13
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,269
dealing with a serious case of FOMO.
14
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,937
It's Khia.
15
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,874
That was disappointing!
16
00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,142
Come on! You used to love this stuff!
17
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:47,645
- Yeah, well, wrestling's fake.
- You're fake! Sorry.
18
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:52,584
Obviously it's fake, but
the pageantry is real.
19
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:53,952
What do you want 50 bucks for anyways?
20
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,754
Lil' Buster concert tickets.
21
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,623
That's a lot of money for
someone I've never heard of.
22
00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,791
- Who else is goin'?
- Mannix...
23
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,027
And friends. It's a friend thing.
24
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:04,530
- Is Hudson comin'?
- No! No dads.
25
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,631
I'll take that as a soft maybe.
26
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:10,369
- CAROL: Hello?
- Who's that? Is this The Purge?
27
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:13,305
?
28
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:16,375
Andrew. Really?
29
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,110
Still doing the Battering Pham?
30
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,511
KHIA: Auntie Carol!
31
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,012
- Aw.
- Hi!
32
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,148
- What are you doin' here?
- I've got a conference on Monday.
33
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,850
So I thought I'd fly in early
and visit my loser brother
34
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:27,052
and his beautiful family.
35
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,688
Loser?
36
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,489
I'll show you loser.
37
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,224
- I'm not touching you.
- (SIGHING)
38
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,294
- I'm not touching you.
- (GROANING)
39
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,662
- It doesn't even hurt.
- What about this?
40
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,363
- (BONES CRACKING)
- (GROANING)
41
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,198
Leo, you're missing it!
Auntie Carol's beating up Dad.
42
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,334
Don't come down, Leo. I
don't want you to see this.
43
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:44,269
- Say it!
- (LAUGHING)
44
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:48,206
Carol is the prettiest, smartest,
strongest woman in the world.
45
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,242
And?
46
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,077
- I smell like cat pee.
- (GIGGLING)
47
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:57,166
?
48
00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:58,567
Does this look right to you?
49
00:01:58,569 --> 00:02:00,035
Dad, stop e-mailing
the weather stations
50
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,503
when the forecast is off.
51
00:02:01,505 --> 00:02:02,804
If you don't hold them accountable,
52
00:02:02,806 --> 00:02:04,106
they'll start making things up.
53
00:02:04,108 --> 00:02:05,440
So, what's it gonna be?
54
00:02:05,442 --> 00:02:07,109
Bubble tea of the day for me.
55
00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:08,744
- And Dad?
- Small coffee.
56
00:02:08,746 --> 00:02:10,246
Come on. Mix it up a little.
57
00:02:10,248 --> 00:02:12,248
Yeah, Ramesh. How
'bout a mango smoothie?
58
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,718
- Small coffee.
- You got it.
59
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,020
CATHY: One bubble tea of the day.
60
00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:20,222
So, what are you guys doing Wednesday?
61
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:21,856
Why? Who wants to know?
62
00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:24,592
Uh, me. I'm just hosting a games night.
63
00:02:24,594 --> 00:02:27,196
- I have plans.
- Ooh, how secretive.
64
00:02:27,198 --> 00:02:31,166
- No, they're not.
- Okay.
65
00:02:31,168 --> 00:02:32,467
What are your plans?
66
00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:34,203
Well, I was going to eat,
67
00:02:34,205 --> 00:02:36,405
clean-up, watch some tennis re-runs,
68
00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,173
and then there's this
econometrics problem
69
00:02:38,175 --> 00:02:39,541
I've been noodling over.
70
00:02:39,543 --> 00:02:41,343
Okay, Dad, those aren't plans.
71
00:02:41,345 --> 00:02:43,345
That is just like a montage of boredom.
72
00:02:43,347 --> 00:02:46,215
I'm also going to watch
Andrew's in-depth walk-through
73
00:02:46,217 --> 00:02:47,549
on the Back to the Future trilogy.
74
00:02:47,551 --> 00:02:49,150
You know you could watch the movies?
75
00:02:49,152 --> 00:02:50,586
But how will I know that
they're worth watching
76
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,821
unless someone explains it to me?
77
00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:56,759
(SINGING IN VIETNAMESE)
78
00:02:58,629 --> 00:03:01,830
And the fluid from his lungs
shot out and hit the ceiling.
79
00:03:01,832 --> 00:03:03,131
- Cool.
- Gross.
80
00:03:03,133 --> 00:03:04,532
Trying to make food over here.
81
00:03:04,534 --> 00:03:06,969
Enough with the gross doctor stories.
82
00:03:06,971 --> 00:03:08,437
Your dad isn't great with blood.
83
00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,972
Yeah, he fainted from
seeing his own nose bleed.
84
00:03:10,974 --> 00:03:12,441
Noses shouldn't bleed.
85
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:13,776
Classic Quang.
86
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:15,711
Doesn't "Quang" mean smart?
87
00:03:15,713 --> 00:03:17,546
Yes. Yes, it does.
88
00:03:17,548 --> 00:03:19,047
Not when it's about you, Quang.
89
00:03:19,049 --> 00:03:20,382
Wait.
90
00:03:20,384 --> 00:03:22,484
They don't know about your nickname?
91
00:03:22,486 --> 00:03:25,788
Leo, tell B�c Carol
about Vietnamese school.
92
00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:27,522
I'm really good.
93
00:03:27,524 --> 00:03:28,691
All right. Hit me with some.
94
00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:30,592
_
95
00:03:30,728 --> 00:03:32,761
- Eh!
- (LAUGHING)
96
00:03:32,763 --> 00:03:33,996
Your accent's better than your dad's.
97
00:03:33,998 --> 00:03:35,531
That's what my teacher said!
98
00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:37,999
- No! What?
- Quanger's gonna Quang.
99
00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:40,335
Okay, so when your
dad was about your age,
100
00:03:40,337 --> 00:03:41,737
but shorter, a little bit chubbier...
101
00:03:41,739 --> 00:03:45,207
Khia! Tell us about Little Buster.
102
00:03:45,209 --> 00:03:46,608
(GASPING) I love Lil' Buster.
103
00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:48,010
Right?
104
00:03:48,012 --> 00:03:51,980
Well, I'm trying to get Dad to
give me money to go see him live.
105
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,682
- Why don't you do chore doors?
- I hate chore doors.
106
00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:56,452
Chores? I'm out.
107
00:03:56,454 --> 00:03:58,020
Yeah, I'm with Leo.
108
00:03:58,022 --> 00:04:01,791
- CAROL: There's a cash prize.
- You have my attention.
109
00:04:02,293 --> 00:04:04,660
For rice paper rolls, you
shouldn't use boiling hot water.
110
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,294
Warm water's better.
111
00:04:06,296 --> 00:04:09,298
Oh, looks like Aunt
Carol can't take the heat.
112
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,767
- (YELLING)
- (LAUGHING)
113
00:04:11,769 --> 00:04:14,469
? Don't know what I'm seein' ?
114
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,905
? but I like the feelin' ?
115
00:04:17,307 --> 00:04:19,641
Ooh, look. Art classes.
116
00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:21,076
Camille, please.
117
00:04:21,078 --> 00:04:23,479
They can't even make a decent poster.
118
00:04:23,481 --> 00:04:25,180
Bowling league?
119
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,783
You know they don't clean the
finger holes of those balls.
120
00:04:27,785 --> 00:04:29,485
It's disgusting.
121
00:04:29,487 --> 00:04:32,721
Didn't you and Mom used
to do stuff like this?
122
00:04:32,723 --> 00:04:36,658
Before she got sick, yes.
We used to bowl all the time.
123
00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:38,726
I just don't think it would hurt
to be a little bit more social.
124
00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:40,629
I am plenty social.
125
00:04:40,631 --> 00:04:43,232
Would you mind taking a
step back from me, please?
126
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,403
- He was too close to me.
- Oh, I didn't say anything.
127
00:04:48,405 --> 00:04:53,141
?
128
00:04:53,143 --> 00:04:54,543
Before we get started,
129
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,911
just remember this was your aunt's idea.
130
00:04:56,913 --> 00:04:59,347
Okay, there's a chore in each cup.
131
00:04:59,349 --> 00:05:01,816
Punch the cup you want,
do the chore, get the cash.
132
00:05:01,818 --> 00:05:04,486
But be wary of temptation!
133
00:05:04,488 --> 00:05:07,823
As the money goes up,
so does the difficulty!
134
00:05:07,825 --> 00:05:10,024
- I thought you hated this?
- I hate mind games.
135
00:05:10,026 --> 00:05:11,660
That's why I'm warning you.
136
00:05:11,662 --> 00:05:13,529
Yeah, well, 10 bucks is
not a lot of temptation.
137
00:05:13,531 --> 00:05:15,197
Girl's got standards.
138
00:05:15,199 --> 00:05:16,765
- Respect.
- KHIA: Yeah!
139
00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:18,767
Damn, Carol! Stop
gentrifying chore doors!
140
00:05:18,769 --> 00:05:20,235
This is easy.
141
00:05:23,074 --> 00:05:24,740
Clean the basement storage.
142
00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:28,243
You were gonna get me
to do this for 10 bucks?
143
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,812
That's the mind game.
144
00:05:29,814 --> 00:05:31,446
Chore doors was your grandfather's way
145
00:05:31,448 --> 00:05:32,848
of teaching us about greed.
146
00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:35,317
Ba was teaching us
the value of hard work.
147
00:05:35,319 --> 00:05:37,252
Whatever. You don't have to do it.
148
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,456
Oh, I'm doing it. This
is a hundred bucks, baby.
149
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,559
(GIGGLING)
150
00:05:43,561 --> 00:05:46,695
Hey, remember when Dad put a
thumbtack in one of the cups?
151
00:05:46,697 --> 00:05:48,263
Why are you making me look bad?
152
00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:50,866
Quang, you're a grown-ass man
153
00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:52,267
dressed as a wrestling character
154
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,068
that you made up when you were a child.
155
00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:56,538
- How you look is on you.
- (DOOR OPENING)
156
00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:58,807
CAMILLE: Babe, whose car is that?
157
00:05:58,809 --> 00:06:01,209
Quang, come on! I was kidding!
158
00:06:01,211 --> 00:06:03,679
I like your headband.
159
00:06:03,681 --> 00:06:06,348
Oh, my God! Carol!
160
00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:10,018
- Hi!
- Oh, Carol the doctor!
161
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:13,622
We read about you saving the
lives of kids in that cave.
162
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,491
- That must've been messy.
- And rewarding.
163
00:06:16,493 --> 00:06:17,926
And you!
164
00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:20,095
Ramesh, you are looking
healthy AF, my man!
165
00:06:20,097 --> 00:06:22,831
You hear that, Camille?
I'm looking healthy as an F.
166
00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:24,299
Mm.
167
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,235
Have you been working
out? You look good.
168
00:06:26,237 --> 00:06:28,303
- You okay?
- Just Carol being Carol.
169
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,871
- (RUMBLING DOWNSTAIRS)
- What was that?
170
00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:32,741
- KHIA: I'm fine.
- Oh, Khia is doing chores.
171
00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:34,843
(LAUGHING) Since when?
172
00:06:34,845 --> 00:06:38,380
Since Carol started throwing
around big time dollar bills.
173
00:06:38,382 --> 00:06:40,449
Okay, time for a breather.
174
00:06:40,451 --> 00:06:42,651
I'll... I'll handle
this, Battering Pham.
175
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,820
- Thank you.
- Yes.
176
00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:46,988
Get that sweet tush out of here.
177
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,591
? We set the bar high,
on top 'cause we so fly ?
178
00:06:49,593 --> 00:06:51,059
(TOILET FLUSHING)
179
00:06:51,061 --> 00:06:53,996
(SIGHING) Lil' Buster concert t-shirt.
180
00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:56,431
Fifty bucks? No problem.
181
00:06:56,433 --> 00:07:00,202
- I got it.
- What's happening?
182
00:07:00,204 --> 00:07:02,371
How long have you been in there?
183
00:07:02,373 --> 00:07:03,871
Well...
184
00:07:03,873 --> 00:07:05,907
Never mind. You wanna make twenty bucks?
185
00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:07,776
Twenty bucks? Yeah!
186
00:07:07,778 --> 00:07:09,244
Moby, Bret, and Jojo were talking about
187
00:07:09,246 --> 00:07:10,545
going in on a drone.
188
00:07:10,547 --> 00:07:12,080
- Bret wasn't in...
- I don't care.
189
00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:13,715
- You in or not?
- Deal.
190
00:07:13,717 --> 00:07:16,585
But, I take juice breaks
every hour on the hour.
191
00:07:16,587 --> 00:07:18,687
- (WATCH BEEPING)
- Juice break.
192
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:22,357
- You get 30 seconds.
- I only need 10.
193
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,960
Camille, oh, my God! These
onion bhajis are so good.
194
00:07:24,962 --> 00:07:26,294
They're actually for later,
195
00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:28,096
but I'm glad that you enjoyed them.
196
00:07:28,098 --> 00:07:30,499
Okay, give me the latest.
197
00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:34,836
You want motorcycle skin
graft, or superglued butts?
198
00:07:34,838 --> 00:07:37,639
- Butts plural?
- Butts plural.
199
00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:39,507
Okay, I want both. Dad, did you hear?
200
00:07:39,509 --> 00:07:41,443
Carol's gonna tell us a story.
201
00:07:41,445 --> 00:07:43,845
Already heard. Gruesome ending.
202
00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:45,380
What are you doing?
203
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,782
This portrait mode
doesn't do me any favours.
204
00:07:47,784 --> 00:07:49,384
CAROL: I got him on some dating apps.
205
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:52,454
CAMILLE: Dating apps? I mean,
I leave you for 15 minutes
206
00:07:52,456 --> 00:07:54,323
and you're online dating?
207
00:07:54,325 --> 00:07:57,459
I mean, you don't even give
your phone number to the dentist.
208
00:07:57,461 --> 00:07:59,661
Camille, honestly, I don't know
why I didn't do this earlier.
209
00:07:59,663 --> 00:08:03,398
This Tru Bond app has
introduced me to Wilhelmina.
210
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,734
She loves parasailing
and the harpsichord.
211
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,602
Sounds like Wilhelmina
can't choose a hobby.
212
00:08:07,604 --> 00:08:09,938
Forget Wilhelmina. We didn't match.
213
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:12,107
But, here's another one! Judy J.
214
00:08:12,109 --> 00:08:13,375
She likes fun places and tight spaces.
215
00:08:19,717 --> 00:08:22,483
Cool doctor aunt shows up with
her cool doctor dollar bills
216
00:08:22,485 --> 00:08:24,953
always cool doctor-one-upping me.
217
00:08:24,955 --> 00:08:26,821
(YELLING)
218
00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:28,756
Well, at least Khia does chores.
219
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,625
I asked Mannix to wash
the dishes last night.
220
00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:31,926
You know what she said to me?
221
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,296
"Mom and Claude take us out to eat."
222
00:08:34,298 --> 00:08:35,964
Well, ooh la! Ra-ti-da!
223
00:08:35,966 --> 00:08:37,399
Must be nice.
224
00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:41,102
(GRUNTING)
225
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,738
She's tellin' my kids to do chores?
226
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,774
- In your house?
- On my home court?
227
00:08:48,712 --> 00:08:50,178
Are we too sensitive?
228
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:52,113
Man, you shut your beautiful mouth.
229
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,716
Would you ever ask a bird not to fly?
230
00:08:54,718 --> 00:08:57,185
Hm? Or a sunset not to dazzle?
231
00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:59,654
You have feelings! You
gotta feel those feelings!
232
00:08:59,656 --> 00:09:02,223
I am! That's the problem.
233
00:09:02,225 --> 00:09:04,059
You can't let her get
you down like that, man.
234
00:09:04,061 --> 00:09:05,260
You're living the dream!
235
00:09:05,262 --> 00:09:07,996
- I guess.
- You guess?!
236
00:09:07,998 --> 00:09:11,065
Andrew! House in the burbs.
237
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:13,402
Incredible wife, amazing kids.
238
00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:15,036
- Hot sister.
- Easy.
239
00:09:15,038 --> 00:09:16,271
Dope neighbours.
240
00:09:16,273 --> 00:09:17,939
You can't let your Carol hater-ade
241
00:09:17,941 --> 00:09:20,442
rain all over your parade.
242
00:09:20,444 --> 00:09:22,878
You know what? You're right.
243
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,213
It's not my fault that Carol's a loner.
244
00:09:25,215 --> 00:09:26,648
She did this to herself.
245
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,884
That... that's not
exactly what I was saying.
246
00:09:28,886 --> 00:09:32,554
Her bank account might be
bustin' with dollar bills,
247
00:09:32,556 --> 00:09:34,823
but my heart is bustin' with love.
248
00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:36,091
Dude, stop saying "bustin'."
249
00:09:36,093 --> 00:09:38,059
Once again, the hoop solves all!
250
00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:40,161
Alley-oop!
251
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,297
- (GRUNTING)
- You okay?
252
00:09:42,299 --> 00:09:43,732
- No, I almost had it.
- Okay.
253
00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:45,767
? Can't see me now ?
254
00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:48,503
Do you think I should use
a different photograph?
255
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,305
Maybe the one with the boat.
256
00:09:50,307 --> 00:09:52,240
Oh, definitely use
the one with the boat.
257
00:09:52,242 --> 00:09:53,775
But technically it's not my boat.
258
00:09:53,777 --> 00:09:55,243
CAROL: Meh. By the time they find out...
259
00:09:55,245 --> 00:09:56,978
Okay, Carol.
260
00:09:56,980 --> 00:10:00,014
Um, you have been so helpful,
but I don't love the idea
261
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,649
of my dad hooking up with randoms.
262
00:10:01,651 --> 00:10:03,985
She shan't be random for long.
263
00:10:03,987 --> 00:10:06,388
Dad!
264
00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:09,724
But, this is what you
wanted. I'm out there!
265
00:10:09,726 --> 00:10:13,928
- And he's about to get in there.
- Carol! I know.
266
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,397
I just...
267
00:10:15,399 --> 00:10:17,065
It all feels a little sudden.
268
00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:21,169
It's been nearly 20 years.
269
00:10:21,171 --> 00:10:22,871
So what's the rush?
270
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:27,275
- (PHONE CHIMING)
- Ding dong!
271
00:10:27,277 --> 00:10:32,280
Lady on the line! Okay,
time to reel her in.
272
00:10:32,282 --> 00:10:34,015
Carol knows what I'm talking about.
273
00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:40,021
You know I'm paying you, right?
Can you move a little faster?
274
00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:43,358
(SPEAKING SLOWLY) Okay.
275
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,093
Fine.
276
00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:47,762
I guess Bobo and Joby are
getting a drone without you.
277
00:10:47,764 --> 00:10:51,699
It's Jojo and Moby! And Bret.
278
00:10:51,701 --> 00:10:53,034
Except I just checked the group chat.
279
00:10:53,036 --> 00:10:54,536
Bret's back on the fence.
280
00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:57,038
Just move!
281
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,575
(SIGHING)
282
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:01,843
Come on!
283
00:11:07,184 --> 00:11:10,985
- Is this Dad and B�c Carol?
- KHIA: I guess.
284
00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:14,523
- LEO: They look so happy.
- Yeah, and?
285
00:11:14,525 --> 00:11:16,324
It's just that they're always fighting
286
00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:18,726
and going at each other.
287
00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:22,263
Is that gonna happen to
us? You get mad at me a lot.
288
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,265
I do not!
289
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,601
(WATCH BEEPING)
290
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,936
Don't even think about it.
291
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,271
Hey-o!
292
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,607
Right, well, I'm off to Bubble Bae.
293
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,209
But wrestling's gonna start.
294
00:11:34,211 --> 00:11:37,945
My apologies, but I
have an Internet date.
295
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:41,215
- Playa!
- (LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
296
00:11:41,217 --> 00:11:42,684
RAMESH: Wish me luck!
297
00:11:42,686 --> 00:11:44,219
- (SIGHING)
- That bad, huh?
298
00:11:44,221 --> 00:11:45,753
What? No, everything is fine.
299
00:11:45,755 --> 00:11:47,422
I don't feel weird about this at all.
300
00:11:47,424 --> 00:11:49,957
Hey, at least he's makin' time for love.
301
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,559
Yeah, sure.
302
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:56,297
I just think that we
should all prioritize love.
303
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,966
You know what I mean?
304
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,768
- Are you talking about me?
- ANDREW: No, no, no.
305
00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:02,503
I was just thinkin'
that I got a great house,
306
00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:05,306
incredible wife, amazing kids.
307
00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,108
Yeah, you do.
308
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:09,978
And, I would love the same for you.
309
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:14,616
- Excuse me?
- Oh, what happened to "pet store guy?"
310
00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:17,352
Yo, you know who was
cool? Pet store guy.
311
00:12:17,354 --> 00:12:19,521
Stop talking about pet store guy.
312
00:12:19,523 --> 00:12:22,390
- What's your problem?
- My problem is you.
313
00:12:22,392 --> 00:12:25,059
Not everyone marries the first
person who kisses them, okay?
314
00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:27,662
What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
315
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,398
What I'm sayin' is, if
you put as much effort
316
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,200
into nurturing a relationship
317
00:12:32,202 --> 00:12:34,402
as you put into being
this world famous doctor,
318
00:12:34,404 --> 00:12:36,204
maybe you could
319
00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:39,174
have a nurturing relationship.
320
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:42,810
What? She's not hearing me right.
321
00:12:42,812 --> 00:12:45,814
I'm just saying that
someone could love you!
322
00:12:45,816 --> 00:12:47,782
- (DOOR CLOSING)
- Carol?
323
00:12:47,784 --> 00:12:49,417
- (DOOR CLOSING)
- Camille!
324
00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:53,321
?
325
00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:56,525
It's about to start. Where's Leo?
326
00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:58,560
I don't know. He's your son!
327
00:12:58,562 --> 00:12:59,894
What happened?
328
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:01,563
Nothing. We just need space.
329
00:13:01,565 --> 00:13:04,632
ANNOUNCER ON TV: ... That's
been years in the making.
330
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:06,167
Any updates to your dad's date?
331
00:13:06,169 --> 00:13:07,435
We getting a new grandma?
332
00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:08,903
- Khia!
- Maybe.
333
00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:12,640
It's fine. Really. I mean,
if he's happy, I'm happy.
334
00:13:12,642 --> 00:13:14,709
- That is very wise.
- CAMILLE: I know.
335
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,845
And I'm glad that
he's trying new things.
336
00:13:16,847 --> 00:13:20,782
I mean, Tru Bond seems like a good app.
337
00:13:20,784 --> 00:13:23,618
Whoa. Tru Bond?
338
00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:26,054
Um, isn't that app
for people with like...
339
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,255
- How do you know what it is?
- Everyone does!
340
00:13:28,257 --> 00:13:31,192
Okay, what is Tru Bond for?
341
00:13:31,194 --> 00:13:34,996
- People with a freaky streak...
- Khia, enough!
342
00:13:34,998 --> 00:13:36,965
But, yeah.
343
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:40,601
Freaky streak.
344
00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:43,071
- Like...
- (SIGHING)
345
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:47,042
(WHISPERING)
346
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,478
How do you both know about this?
347
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,147
BOTH: My friends told me.
348
00:13:52,149 --> 00:13:54,082
I gotta go.
349
00:13:58,021 --> 00:14:02,423
So, is Auntie C doing,
like, a money transfer thing,
350
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,025
or should I just wait
'til she gets back?
351
00:14:04,127 --> 00:14:05,760
She might not be back.
352
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,395
Oh, that sucks. I was
gonna show her this.
353
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,501
Whoa.
354
00:14:13,503 --> 00:14:16,504
This was the first time I
beat your aunt at Mario Kart.
355
00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:18,973
Leo's worried we're
gonna end up like you two.
356
00:14:18,975 --> 00:14:20,341
Really?
357
00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:21,876
Yeah.
358
00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:22,978
What do you think?
359
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,312
Well, it depends.
360
00:14:24,314 --> 00:14:25,846
Do I get to be the stay-at home dad,
361
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:28,450
or the rich doctor?
362
00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:31,519
Funny.
363
00:14:31,521 --> 00:14:33,921
(SIGHING) I gotta find your aunt.
364
00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:36,123
- You good to watch Leo?
- Sure. Hey!
365
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,392
Make sure she brings my money!
366
00:14:37,394 --> 00:14:41,296
?
367
00:14:42,999 --> 00:14:45,600
AVERY: I swear my rabbit
knows me better than anyone.
368
00:14:45,602 --> 00:14:46,935
RAMESH: Lucky bunny.
369
00:14:46,937 --> 00:14:49,537
(LAUGHING) You're so funny.
370
00:14:49,539 --> 00:14:52,339
No, I'm being serious.
Rabbits are very lucky.
371
00:14:52,341 --> 00:14:53,675
Their feet at least.
372
00:14:53,677 --> 00:14:56,944
(LAUGHING) So, what do you do for fun?
373
00:14:56,946 --> 00:14:59,080
I enjoy movies quite a bit.
374
00:14:59,082 --> 00:15:00,815
New ones, old ones, you name it.
375
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,951
Ooh, anything exciting?
376
00:15:02,953 --> 00:15:05,220
I just watched Blade Runner.
377
00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:08,023
It's the most erotic reflection
on mortality I've ever seen.
378
00:15:08,025 --> 00:15:11,225
- Sounds like my kind of movie.
- You've not seen it?
379
00:15:11,227 --> 00:15:14,896
Well, I guess I'm not very mainstream.
380
00:15:14,898 --> 00:15:17,431
So, what got you on the app?
381
00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:20,167
- Doctor recommended!
- Really?
382
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,704
I mean, I suppose she's
more my niece-in-law?
383
00:15:23,706 --> 00:15:26,574
But really, my daughter's
the one who pushed me into it.
384
00:15:26,576 --> 00:15:30,077
Love a pushy daughter.
Makes for a stronger daddy.
385
00:15:30,079 --> 00:15:35,016
?
386
00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:40,054
ANDREW: (KNOCKING) Hey, Carol.
387
00:15:40,056 --> 00:15:41,222
It's Andrew.
388
00:15:45,095 --> 00:15:48,396
(SIGHING) How'd you find me?
389
00:15:48,398 --> 00:15:50,065
I mapped out the nearest hotels,
390
00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:51,599
checked for ones with water slides...
391
00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:54,669
- You called Mom?
- I called Mom.
392
00:15:54,671 --> 00:15:57,038
- Ugh.
- (SIGHING)
393
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,542
She also mentioned that things just
ended with a guy you were seeing.
394
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:02,743
I didn't know. I'm sorry.
395
00:16:02,745 --> 00:16:06,481
Why? I broke it off with
him. It wasn't working.
396
00:16:06,483 --> 00:16:08,015
Oh. I'm sorry.
397
00:16:08,017 --> 00:16:10,251
- Stop being sorry!
- Sorry!
398
00:16:10,253 --> 00:16:12,020
I don't know what to say!
399
00:16:12,022 --> 00:16:14,142
Do you know what Mom told
me right before I came here?
400
00:16:14,143 --> 00:16:16,290
- No.
- That I should take Lorenzo back,
401
00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:19,093
because I'm running out
of time to have kids.
402
00:16:19,095 --> 00:16:21,829
Ouch.
403
00:16:21,831 --> 00:16:23,131
Was Lorenzo the pet store guy?
404
00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:24,532
- Stop it!
- Sorry.
405
00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:26,701
I like my life.
406
00:16:26,703 --> 00:16:30,972
What you have is great for
you, but it's not what I want.
407
00:16:30,974 --> 00:16:32,707
Even though it's what
everyone else wants for me.
408
00:16:32,709 --> 00:16:34,509
I just want you to be happy.
409
00:16:34,511 --> 00:16:37,111
And, I know it's different,
410
00:16:37,113 --> 00:16:39,681
but, I get it.
411
00:16:39,683 --> 00:16:41,282
You know what Mom said to me
412
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:42,851
when I told her I'd
stay home with the kids?
413
00:16:42,853 --> 00:16:45,286
- Hm?
- Nothing.
414
00:16:45,288 --> 00:16:46,721
For three months.
415
00:16:46,723 --> 00:16:49,257
Oh, my God. I wish.
416
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,725
You know, we put our lives together,
417
00:16:50,727 --> 00:16:52,794
we'd make one passable Asian child.
418
00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:55,863
(BOTH LAUGHING)
419
00:16:55,865 --> 00:16:58,533
Hey. Check this out.
420
00:16:58,535 --> 00:17:00,401
Oh, my God! Stop it!
421
00:17:00,403 --> 00:17:03,805
(GASPING) Yo, I was adorable.
422
00:17:03,807 --> 00:17:05,339
And you know I let you win, right?
423
00:17:05,341 --> 00:17:08,476
- Okay, take it easy.
- (KNOCKING)
424
00:17:08,478 --> 00:17:11,512
TIM: It's, uh, it's Tim. From Tru Bond.
425
00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:15,750
- Should I go?
- Already bonded!
426
00:17:15,752 --> 00:17:17,051
TIM: Ah, okay.
427
00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:21,489
Yeah, um, maybe we don't
tell Mom about this.
428
00:17:21,491 --> 00:17:23,091
Yeah.
429
00:17:23,093 --> 00:17:28,029
?
430
00:17:28,031 --> 00:17:30,965
I'm just gonna powder
my nose and we can go.
431
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,668
Unless... join me in the bathroom?
432
00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:35,103
I can hold it.
433
00:17:35,105 --> 00:17:36,838
I don't care much for public restrooms.
434
00:17:43,112 --> 00:17:44,779
Hey, Dad! Finally!
435
00:17:44,781 --> 00:17:46,080
Let's make a break for it.
436
00:17:46,082 --> 00:17:48,215
What? Why?
437
00:17:48,217 --> 00:17:50,185
That app isn't what you think it is.
438
00:17:50,187 --> 00:17:51,452
What do you mean?
439
00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:56,658
(WHISPERING)
440
00:17:58,394 --> 00:18:01,296
- I know that.
- Oh, so you...
441
00:18:01,798 --> 00:18:03,764
- Oh.
- Yes.
442
00:18:03,766 --> 00:18:08,135
Now, your ongoing presence
here is really killing the buzz.
443
00:18:08,137 --> 00:18:09,937
Okay, well then, I was just...
444
00:18:09,939 --> 00:18:13,007
Oh. Who's this?
445
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:17,578
- Hi, I'm Camille.
- Camille, will you be joining?
446
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,480
- No.
- No!
447
00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:24,452
?
448
00:18:24,454 --> 00:18:25,687
Did you find Auntie C?
449
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:29,557
No. Psych!
450
00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:32,359
She'll tear you apart,
stitch you back up,
451
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,961
and do it all over again.
452
00:18:33,963 --> 00:18:37,031
Get ready for a
full-body ex-slam-ination!
453
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:41,970
- It's Carol the Conqueror!
- (KIDS CHEERING)
454
00:18:41,972 --> 00:18:44,038
Who wants a ct scan to the solar plexus?
455
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,873
I do!
456
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,909
ANDREW: Be careful! She's
stronger than she looks.
457
00:18:47,911 --> 00:18:50,711
Don't do it! He's just a kid!
458
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,581
I almost forgot.
459
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,049
Thank you.
460
00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:59,754
- What's this?!
- Brother bonus.
461
00:18:59,756 --> 00:19:01,856
Go make Juju and Toby jealous.
462
00:19:01,858 --> 00:19:03,991
You know those aren't their names.
463
00:19:03,993 --> 00:19:05,193
- Whatever.
- ANDREW: Hey, you two!
464
00:19:06,596 --> 00:19:08,796
- (SHUTTER CLICKING)
- Aw, that's so cute.
465
00:19:08,798 --> 00:19:10,531
- (BOTH GRUNTING)
- Pham grab!
466
00:19:10,533 --> 00:19:11,833
Stop! I wasn't ready!
467
00:19:11,835 --> 00:19:13,134
CAROL: Come here, guys! Get his legs.
468
00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:15,235
- I got his legs!
- Leo, no!
469
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,805
CAROL: Leo, bite his leg! Bite his leg!
470
00:19:17,807 --> 00:19:19,607
ANDREW: (SCREAMING) Get off me!
471
00:19:19,609 --> 00:19:22,710
- (OTHERS YELLING)
- LEO: Body slam!
472
00:19:22,712 --> 00:19:27,148
- (OTHERS YELLING)
- CAROL: Get him, Leo.
473
00:19:27,150 --> 00:19:32,086
- CAROL: Oh, he's slowing down.
- (OTHERS YELLING AND CHEERING)
474
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,822
(OTHERS YELLING)
475
00:19:34,824 --> 00:19:39,093
- CAROL: Three, two, one, yeah!
- LEO: (LAUGHING) Yeah!
476
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:43,497
(OTHERS LAUGHING AND CHEERING)
477
00:19:43,499 --> 00:19:45,232
You okay?
478
00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:47,468
- Yeah.
- Where's your dad?
479
00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:50,038
- He's still out.
- Playa's gon' play.
480
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,506
(FEIGNING LAUGHING) Jealous?
481
00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:55,309
I got all I need right here.
482
00:19:55,311 --> 00:19:56,644
Come on.
483
00:19:56,646 --> 00:20:01,316
(OTHERS LAUGHING AND CHEERING)
484
00:20:03,386 --> 00:20:06,320
ANDREW: Coming down the stairs,
she may have a new step-mom
485
00:20:06,322 --> 00:20:07,989
by the end of the night.
486
00:20:07,991 --> 00:20:10,558
It's Mom the Rom Com Power Bomb.
487
00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:19,800
CAMILLE: M-e-u-l...
488
00:20:19,836 --> 00:20:21,170
Are you in Leo's
Vietnamese school homework?
489
00:20:21,171 --> 00:20:24,005
No. Yes. I don't know. I'm inspired.
490
00:20:24,007 --> 00:20:25,273
He's learning Vietnamese.
You're Vietnamese.
491
00:20:25,274 --> 00:20:27,008
I thought I should learn.
492
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,243
Plus...
493
00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:31,879
- (SPEAKING VIETNAMESE) _
- Oh, you are amazing.
494
00:20:31,948 --> 00:20:33,847
I know, also, Vietnamese is hard.
495
00:20:33,883 --> 00:20:37,284
Oh, it's not that bad. Hey, quiz me.
496
00:20:37,353 --> 00:20:39,287
- Okay, uh, cousins.
- Easy.
497
00:20:39,289 --> 00:20:41,689
"Anh ho" for older male cousin,
498
00:20:41,758 --> 00:20:43,691
"chi ho" for older female cousin,
499
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,627
and "em ho" for younger
cousin of any gender.
500
00:20:46,629 --> 00:20:49,864
- Correct.
- That's why they call me Mr. Vietnam.
501
00:20:49,866 --> 00:20:52,700
Nobody calls you that, but
the accent is doing it for me.
502
00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:54,936
Ooh, the Vietnamese accent
503
00:20:55,071 --> 00:20:59,573
very underrated in the
sexy accent department.
504
00:20:59,642 --> 00:21:01,242
- What's next?
- (CAMILLE LAUGHING)
505
00:21:01,311 --> 00:21:03,644
- Aunts?
- Oh, I got a ton of aunts.
506
00:21:03,713 --> 00:21:07,648
You got b�c for your
parent's elder sister,
507
00:21:07,650 --> 00:21:09,784
cau,
508
00:21:09,786 --> 00:21:12,320
and yee.
509
00:21:12,455 --> 00:21:14,788
- And that's it?
- There are five answers.
510
00:21:17,594 --> 00:21:19,393
Stop putting so much pressure on me!
511
00:21:19,462 --> 00:21:21,829
Vietnamese is very hard.
512
00:21:21,898 --> 00:21:24,932
Your secret is safe
with me, Mr. Vietnam.
513
00:21:24,934 --> 00:21:26,534
(SINGING IN VIETNAMESE)
514
00:21:31,585 --> 00:21:36,135
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36907
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.