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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:05,037 (ELECTRIC GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,406 ANDREW: Hailing from Calgary, Alberta, 3 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:11,076 the family man with the ultimate wrestling body slam. 4 00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:14,513 It's the Battering Pham! 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:18,517 Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah! 6 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:22,587 Are you ready for the TV event of the summer?! 7 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:25,858 Summer, summer, summer. 8 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,326 Looks like we got a grudge match, 9 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,660 ladies and gentlemen! 10 00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:32,264 Who's the Battering Pham up against? 11 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,865 Looking for 50 bucks, 12 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,334 she's the champ with no money, 13 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,269 dealing with a serious case of FOMO. 14 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,937 It's Khia. 15 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:41,874 That was disappointing! 16 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,142 Come on! You used to love this stuff! 17 00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:47,645 - Yeah, well, wrestling's fake. - You're fake! Sorry. 18 00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:52,584 Obviously it's fake, but the pageantry is real. 19 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:53,952 What do you want 50 bucks for anyways? 20 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,754 Lil' Buster concert tickets. 21 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,623 That's a lot of money for someone I've never heard of. 22 00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,791 - Who else is goin'? - Mannix... 23 00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,027 And friends. It's a friend thing. 24 00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:04,530 - Is Hudson comin'? - No! No dads. 25 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,631 I'll take that as a soft maybe. 26 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:10,369 - CAROL: Hello? - Who's that? Is this The Purge? 27 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:13,305 ? 28 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:16,375 Andrew. Really? 29 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,110 Still doing the Battering Pham? 30 00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,511 KHIA: Auntie Carol! 31 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,012 - Aw. - Hi! 32 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,148 - What are you doin' here? - I've got a conference on Monday. 33 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,850 So I thought I'd fly in early and visit my loser brother 34 00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:27,052 and his beautiful family. 35 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,688 Loser? 36 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,489 I'll show you loser. 37 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,224 - I'm not touching you. - (SIGHING) 38 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,294 - I'm not touching you. - (GROANING) 39 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,662 - It doesn't even hurt. - What about this? 40 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,363 - (BONES CRACKING) - (GROANING) 41 00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,198 Leo, you're missing it! Auntie Carol's beating up Dad. 42 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,334 Don't come down, Leo. I don't want you to see this. 43 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:44,269 - Say it! - (LAUGHING) 44 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:48,206 Carol is the prettiest, smartest, strongest woman in the world. 45 00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,242 And? 46 00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:52,077 - I smell like cat pee. - (GIGGLING) 47 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:57,166 ? 48 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:58,567 Does this look right to you? 49 00:01:58,569 --> 00:02:00,035 Dad, stop e-mailing the weather stations 50 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,503 when the forecast is off. 51 00:02:01,505 --> 00:02:02,804 If you don't hold them accountable, 52 00:02:02,806 --> 00:02:04,106 they'll start making things up. 53 00:02:04,108 --> 00:02:05,440 So, what's it gonna be? 54 00:02:05,442 --> 00:02:07,109 Bubble tea of the day for me. 55 00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:08,744 - And Dad? - Small coffee. 56 00:02:08,746 --> 00:02:10,246 Come on. Mix it up a little. 57 00:02:10,248 --> 00:02:12,248 Yeah, Ramesh. How 'bout a mango smoothie? 58 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,718 - Small coffee. - You got it. 59 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,020 CATHY: One bubble tea of the day. 60 00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:20,222 So, what are you guys doing Wednesday? 61 00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:21,856 Why? Who wants to know? 62 00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:24,592 Uh, me. I'm just hosting a games night. 63 00:02:24,594 --> 00:02:27,196 - I have plans. - Ooh, how secretive. 64 00:02:27,198 --> 00:02:31,166 - No, they're not. - Okay. 65 00:02:31,168 --> 00:02:32,467 What are your plans? 66 00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:34,203 Well, I was going to eat, 67 00:02:34,205 --> 00:02:36,405 clean-up, watch some tennis re-runs, 68 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,173 and then there's this econometrics problem 69 00:02:38,175 --> 00:02:39,541 I've been noodling over. 70 00:02:39,543 --> 00:02:41,343 Okay, Dad, those aren't plans. 71 00:02:41,345 --> 00:02:43,345 That is just like a montage of boredom. 72 00:02:43,347 --> 00:02:46,215 I'm also going to watch Andrew's in-depth walk-through 73 00:02:46,217 --> 00:02:47,549 on the Back to the Future trilogy. 74 00:02:47,551 --> 00:02:49,150 You know you could watch the movies? 75 00:02:49,152 --> 00:02:50,586 But how will I know that they're worth watching 76 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,821 unless someone explains it to me? 77 00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:56,759 (SINGING IN VIETNAMESE) 78 00:02:58,629 --> 00:03:01,830 And the fluid from his lungs shot out and hit the ceiling. 79 00:03:01,832 --> 00:03:03,131 - Cool. - Gross. 80 00:03:03,133 --> 00:03:04,532 Trying to make food over here. 81 00:03:04,534 --> 00:03:06,969 Enough with the gross doctor stories. 82 00:03:06,971 --> 00:03:08,437 Your dad isn't great with blood. 83 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,972 Yeah, he fainted from seeing his own nose bleed. 84 00:03:10,974 --> 00:03:12,441 Noses shouldn't bleed. 85 00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:13,776 Classic Quang. 86 00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:15,711 Doesn't "Quang" mean smart? 87 00:03:15,713 --> 00:03:17,546 Yes. Yes, it does. 88 00:03:17,548 --> 00:03:19,047 Not when it's about you, Quang. 89 00:03:19,049 --> 00:03:20,382 Wait. 90 00:03:20,384 --> 00:03:22,484 They don't know about your nickname? 91 00:03:22,486 --> 00:03:25,788 Leo, tell B�c Carol about Vietnamese school. 92 00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:27,522 I'm really good. 93 00:03:27,524 --> 00:03:28,691 All right. Hit me with some. 94 00:03:28,692 --> 00:03:30,592 _ 95 00:03:30,728 --> 00:03:32,761 - Eh! - (LAUGHING) 96 00:03:32,763 --> 00:03:33,996 Your accent's better than your dad's. 97 00:03:33,998 --> 00:03:35,531 That's what my teacher said! 98 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:37,999 - No! What? - Quanger's gonna Quang. 99 00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:40,335 Okay, so when your dad was about your age, 100 00:03:40,337 --> 00:03:41,737 but shorter, a little bit chubbier... 101 00:03:41,739 --> 00:03:45,207 Khia! Tell us about Little Buster. 102 00:03:45,209 --> 00:03:46,608 (GASPING) I love Lil' Buster. 103 00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:48,010 Right? 104 00:03:48,012 --> 00:03:51,980 Well, I'm trying to get Dad to give me money to go see him live. 105 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,682 - Why don't you do chore doors? - I hate chore doors. 106 00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:56,452 Chores? I'm out. 107 00:03:56,454 --> 00:03:58,020 Yeah, I'm with Leo. 108 00:03:58,022 --> 00:04:01,791 - CAROL: There's a cash prize. - You have my attention. 109 00:04:02,293 --> 00:04:04,660 For rice paper rolls, you shouldn't use boiling hot water. 110 00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,294 Warm water's better. 111 00:04:06,296 --> 00:04:09,298 Oh, looks like Aunt Carol can't take the heat. 112 00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,767 - (YELLING) - (LAUGHING) 113 00:04:11,769 --> 00:04:14,469 ? Don't know what I'm seein' ? 114 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,905 ? but I like the feelin' ? 115 00:04:17,307 --> 00:04:19,641 Ooh, look. Art classes. 116 00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:21,076 Camille, please. 117 00:04:21,078 --> 00:04:23,479 They can't even make a decent poster. 118 00:04:23,481 --> 00:04:25,180 Bowling league? 119 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,783 You know they don't clean the finger holes of those balls. 120 00:04:27,785 --> 00:04:29,485 It's disgusting. 121 00:04:29,487 --> 00:04:32,721 Didn't you and Mom used to do stuff like this? 122 00:04:32,723 --> 00:04:36,658 Before she got sick, yes. We used to bowl all the time. 123 00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:38,726 I just don't think it would hurt to be a little bit more social. 124 00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:40,629 I am plenty social. 125 00:04:40,631 --> 00:04:43,232 Would you mind taking a step back from me, please? 126 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,403 - He was too close to me. - Oh, I didn't say anything. 127 00:04:48,405 --> 00:04:53,141 ? 128 00:04:53,143 --> 00:04:54,543 Before we get started, 129 00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,911 just remember this was your aunt's idea. 130 00:04:56,913 --> 00:04:59,347 Okay, there's a chore in each cup. 131 00:04:59,349 --> 00:05:01,816 Punch the cup you want, do the chore, get the cash. 132 00:05:01,818 --> 00:05:04,486 But be wary of temptation! 133 00:05:04,488 --> 00:05:07,823 As the money goes up, so does the difficulty! 134 00:05:07,825 --> 00:05:10,024 - I thought you hated this? - I hate mind games. 135 00:05:10,026 --> 00:05:11,660 That's why I'm warning you. 136 00:05:11,662 --> 00:05:13,529 Yeah, well, 10 bucks is not a lot of temptation. 137 00:05:13,531 --> 00:05:15,197 Girl's got standards. 138 00:05:15,199 --> 00:05:16,765 - Respect. - KHIA: Yeah! 139 00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:18,767 Damn, Carol! Stop gentrifying chore doors! 140 00:05:18,769 --> 00:05:20,235 This is easy. 141 00:05:23,074 --> 00:05:24,740 Clean the basement storage. 142 00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:28,243 You were gonna get me to do this for 10 bucks? 143 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,812 That's the mind game. 144 00:05:29,814 --> 00:05:31,446 Chore doors was your grandfather's way 145 00:05:31,448 --> 00:05:32,848 of teaching us about greed. 146 00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:35,317 Ba was teaching us the value of hard work. 147 00:05:35,319 --> 00:05:37,252 Whatever. You don't have to do it. 148 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,456 Oh, I'm doing it. This is a hundred bucks, baby. 149 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:43,559 (GIGGLING) 150 00:05:43,561 --> 00:05:46,695 Hey, remember when Dad put a thumbtack in one of the cups? 151 00:05:46,697 --> 00:05:48,263 Why are you making me look bad? 152 00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:50,866 Quang, you're a grown-ass man 153 00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:52,267 dressed as a wrestling character 154 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,068 that you made up when you were a child. 155 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:56,538 - How you look is on you. - (DOOR OPENING) 156 00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:58,807 CAMILLE: Babe, whose car is that? 157 00:05:58,809 --> 00:06:01,209 Quang, come on! I was kidding! 158 00:06:01,211 --> 00:06:03,679 I like your headband. 159 00:06:03,681 --> 00:06:06,348 Oh, my God! Carol! 160 00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:10,018 - Hi! - Oh, Carol the doctor! 161 00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:13,622 We read about you saving the lives of kids in that cave. 162 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,491 - That must've been messy. - And rewarding. 163 00:06:16,493 --> 00:06:17,926 And you! 164 00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:20,095 Ramesh, you are looking healthy AF, my man! 165 00:06:20,097 --> 00:06:22,831 You hear that, Camille? I'm looking healthy as an F. 166 00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:24,299 Mm. 167 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,235 Have you been working out? You look good. 168 00:06:26,237 --> 00:06:28,303 - You okay? - Just Carol being Carol. 169 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,871 - (RUMBLING DOWNSTAIRS) - What was that? 170 00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:32,741 - KHIA: I'm fine. - Oh, Khia is doing chores. 171 00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:34,843 (LAUGHING) Since when? 172 00:06:34,845 --> 00:06:38,380 Since Carol started throwing around big time dollar bills. 173 00:06:38,382 --> 00:06:40,449 Okay, time for a breather. 174 00:06:40,451 --> 00:06:42,651 I'll... I'll handle this, Battering Pham. 175 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,820 - Thank you. - Yes. 176 00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:46,988 Get that sweet tush out of here. 177 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,591 ? We set the bar high, on top 'cause we so fly ? 178 00:06:49,593 --> 00:06:51,059 (TOILET FLUSHING) 179 00:06:51,061 --> 00:06:53,996 (SIGHING) Lil' Buster concert t-shirt. 180 00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:56,431 Fifty bucks? No problem. 181 00:06:56,433 --> 00:07:00,202 - I got it. - What's happening? 182 00:07:00,204 --> 00:07:02,371 How long have you been in there? 183 00:07:02,373 --> 00:07:03,871 Well... 184 00:07:03,873 --> 00:07:05,907 Never mind. You wanna make twenty bucks? 185 00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:07,776 Twenty bucks? Yeah! 186 00:07:07,778 --> 00:07:09,244 Moby, Bret, and Jojo were talking about 187 00:07:09,246 --> 00:07:10,545 going in on a drone. 188 00:07:10,547 --> 00:07:12,080 - Bret wasn't in... - I don't care. 189 00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:13,715 - You in or not? - Deal. 190 00:07:13,717 --> 00:07:16,585 But, I take juice breaks every hour on the hour. 191 00:07:16,587 --> 00:07:18,687 - (WATCH BEEPING) - Juice break. 192 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:22,357 - You get 30 seconds. - I only need 10. 193 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,960 Camille, oh, my God! These onion bhajis are so good. 194 00:07:24,962 --> 00:07:26,294 They're actually for later, 195 00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:28,096 but I'm glad that you enjoyed them. 196 00:07:28,098 --> 00:07:30,499 Okay, give me the latest. 197 00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:34,836 You want motorcycle skin graft, or superglued butts? 198 00:07:34,838 --> 00:07:37,639 - Butts plural? - Butts plural. 199 00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:39,507 Okay, I want both. Dad, did you hear? 200 00:07:39,509 --> 00:07:41,443 Carol's gonna tell us a story. 201 00:07:41,445 --> 00:07:43,845 Already heard. Gruesome ending. 202 00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:45,380 What are you doing? 203 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,782 This portrait mode doesn't do me any favours. 204 00:07:47,784 --> 00:07:49,384 CAROL: I got him on some dating apps. 205 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:52,454 CAMILLE: Dating apps? I mean, I leave you for 15 minutes 206 00:07:52,456 --> 00:07:54,323 and you're online dating? 207 00:07:54,325 --> 00:07:57,459 I mean, you don't even give your phone number to the dentist. 208 00:07:57,461 --> 00:07:59,661 Camille, honestly, I don't know why I didn't do this earlier. 209 00:07:59,663 --> 00:08:03,398 This Tru Bond app has introduced me to Wilhelmina. 210 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,734 She loves parasailing and the harpsichord. 211 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,602 Sounds like Wilhelmina can't choose a hobby. 212 00:08:07,604 --> 00:08:09,938 Forget Wilhelmina. We didn't match. 213 00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:12,107 But, here's another one! Judy J. 214 00:08:12,109 --> 00:08:13,375 She likes fun places and tight spaces. 215 00:08:19,717 --> 00:08:22,483 Cool doctor aunt shows up with her cool doctor dollar bills 216 00:08:22,485 --> 00:08:24,953 always cool doctor-one-upping me. 217 00:08:24,955 --> 00:08:26,821 (YELLING) 218 00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:28,756 Well, at least Khia does chores. 219 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,625 I asked Mannix to wash the dishes last night. 220 00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:31,926 You know what she said to me? 221 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,296 "Mom and Claude take us out to eat." 222 00:08:34,298 --> 00:08:35,964 Well, ooh la! Ra-ti-da! 223 00:08:35,966 --> 00:08:37,399 Must be nice. 224 00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:41,102 (GRUNTING) 225 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,738 She's tellin' my kids to do chores? 226 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,774 - In your house? - On my home court? 227 00:08:48,712 --> 00:08:50,178 Are we too sensitive? 228 00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:52,113 Man, you shut your beautiful mouth. 229 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,716 Would you ever ask a bird not to fly? 230 00:08:54,718 --> 00:08:57,185 Hm? Or a sunset not to dazzle? 231 00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:59,654 You have feelings! You gotta feel those feelings! 232 00:08:59,656 --> 00:09:02,223 I am! That's the problem. 233 00:09:02,225 --> 00:09:04,059 You can't let her get you down like that, man. 234 00:09:04,061 --> 00:09:05,260 You're living the dream! 235 00:09:05,262 --> 00:09:07,996 - I guess. - You guess?! 236 00:09:07,998 --> 00:09:11,065 Andrew! House in the burbs. 237 00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:13,402 Incredible wife, amazing kids. 238 00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:15,036 - Hot sister. - Easy. 239 00:09:15,038 --> 00:09:16,271 Dope neighbours. 240 00:09:16,273 --> 00:09:17,939 You can't let your Carol hater-ade 241 00:09:17,941 --> 00:09:20,442 rain all over your parade. 242 00:09:20,444 --> 00:09:22,878 You know what? You're right. 243 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,213 It's not my fault that Carol's a loner. 244 00:09:25,215 --> 00:09:26,648 She did this to herself. 245 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,884 That... that's not exactly what I was saying. 246 00:09:28,886 --> 00:09:32,554 Her bank account might be bustin' with dollar bills, 247 00:09:32,556 --> 00:09:34,823 but my heart is bustin' with love. 248 00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:36,091 Dude, stop saying "bustin'." 249 00:09:36,093 --> 00:09:38,059 Once again, the hoop solves all! 250 00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:40,161 Alley-oop! 251 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,297 - (GRUNTING) - You okay? 252 00:09:42,299 --> 00:09:43,732 - No, I almost had it. - Okay. 253 00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:45,767 ? Can't see me now ? 254 00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:48,503 Do you think I should use a different photograph? 255 00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,305 Maybe the one with the boat. 256 00:09:50,307 --> 00:09:52,240 Oh, definitely use the one with the boat. 257 00:09:52,242 --> 00:09:53,775 But technically it's not my boat. 258 00:09:53,777 --> 00:09:55,243 CAROL: Meh. By the time they find out... 259 00:09:55,245 --> 00:09:56,978 Okay, Carol. 260 00:09:56,980 --> 00:10:00,014 Um, you have been so helpful, but I don't love the idea 261 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,649 of my dad hooking up with randoms. 262 00:10:01,651 --> 00:10:03,985 She shan't be random for long. 263 00:10:03,987 --> 00:10:06,388 Dad! 264 00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:09,724 But, this is what you wanted. I'm out there! 265 00:10:09,726 --> 00:10:13,928 - And he's about to get in there. - Carol! I know. 266 00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,397 I just... 267 00:10:15,399 --> 00:10:17,065 It all feels a little sudden. 268 00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:21,169 It's been nearly 20 years. 269 00:10:21,171 --> 00:10:22,871 So what's the rush? 270 00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:27,275 - (PHONE CHIMING) - Ding dong! 271 00:10:27,277 --> 00:10:32,280 Lady on the line! Okay, time to reel her in. 272 00:10:32,282 --> 00:10:34,015 Carol knows what I'm talking about. 273 00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:40,021 You know I'm paying you, right? Can you move a little faster? 274 00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:43,358 (SPEAKING SLOWLY) Okay. 275 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,093 Fine. 276 00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:47,762 I guess Bobo and Joby are getting a drone without you. 277 00:10:47,764 --> 00:10:51,699 It's Jojo and Moby! And Bret. 278 00:10:51,701 --> 00:10:53,034 Except I just checked the group chat. 279 00:10:53,036 --> 00:10:54,536 Bret's back on the fence. 280 00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:57,038 Just move! 281 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,575 (SIGHING) 282 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:01,843 Come on! 283 00:11:07,184 --> 00:11:10,985 - Is this Dad and B�c Carol? - KHIA: I guess. 284 00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:14,523 - LEO: They look so happy. - Yeah, and? 285 00:11:14,525 --> 00:11:16,324 It's just that they're always fighting 286 00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:18,726 and going at each other. 287 00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:22,263 Is that gonna happen to us? You get mad at me a lot. 288 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,265 I do not! 289 00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,601 (WATCH BEEPING) 290 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,936 Don't even think about it. 291 00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,271 Hey-o! 292 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,607 Right, well, I'm off to Bubble Bae. 293 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,209 But wrestling's gonna start. 294 00:11:34,211 --> 00:11:37,945 My apologies, but I have an Internet date. 295 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:41,215 - Playa! - (LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) 296 00:11:41,217 --> 00:11:42,684 RAMESH: Wish me luck! 297 00:11:42,686 --> 00:11:44,219 - (SIGHING) - That bad, huh? 298 00:11:44,221 --> 00:11:45,753 What? No, everything is fine. 299 00:11:45,755 --> 00:11:47,422 I don't feel weird about this at all. 300 00:11:47,424 --> 00:11:49,957 Hey, at least he's makin' time for love. 301 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,559 Yeah, sure. 302 00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:56,297 I just think that we should all prioritize love. 303 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,966 You know what I mean? 304 00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,768 - Are you talking about me? - ANDREW: No, no, no. 305 00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:02,503 I was just thinkin' that I got a great house, 306 00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:05,306 incredible wife, amazing kids. 307 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,108 Yeah, you do. 308 00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:09,978 And, I would love the same for you. 309 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:14,616 - Excuse me? - Oh, what happened to "pet store guy?" 310 00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:17,352 Yo, you know who was cool? Pet store guy. 311 00:12:17,354 --> 00:12:19,521 Stop talking about pet store guy. 312 00:12:19,523 --> 00:12:22,390 - What's your problem? - My problem is you. 313 00:12:22,392 --> 00:12:25,059 Not everyone marries the first person who kisses them, okay? 314 00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:27,662 What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 315 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,398 What I'm sayin' is, if you put as much effort 316 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,200 into nurturing a relationship 317 00:12:32,202 --> 00:12:34,402 as you put into being this world famous doctor, 318 00:12:34,404 --> 00:12:36,204 maybe you could 319 00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:39,174 have a nurturing relationship. 320 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:42,810 What? She's not hearing me right. 321 00:12:42,812 --> 00:12:45,814 I'm just saying that someone could love you! 322 00:12:45,816 --> 00:12:47,782 - (DOOR CLOSING) - Carol? 323 00:12:47,784 --> 00:12:49,417 - (DOOR CLOSING) - Camille! 324 00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:53,321 ? 325 00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:56,525 It's about to start. Where's Leo? 326 00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:58,560 I don't know. He's your son! 327 00:12:58,562 --> 00:12:59,894 What happened? 328 00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:01,563 Nothing. We just need space. 329 00:13:01,565 --> 00:13:04,632 ANNOUNCER ON TV: ... That's been years in the making. 330 00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:06,167 Any updates to your dad's date? 331 00:13:06,169 --> 00:13:07,435 We getting a new grandma? 332 00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:08,903 - Khia! - Maybe. 333 00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:12,640 It's fine. Really. I mean, if he's happy, I'm happy. 334 00:13:12,642 --> 00:13:14,709 - That is very wise. - CAMILLE: I know. 335 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,845 And I'm glad that he's trying new things. 336 00:13:16,847 --> 00:13:20,782 I mean, Tru Bond seems like a good app. 337 00:13:20,784 --> 00:13:23,618 Whoa. Tru Bond? 338 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:26,054 Um, isn't that app for people with like... 339 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,255 - How do you know what it is? - Everyone does! 340 00:13:28,257 --> 00:13:31,192 Okay, what is Tru Bond for? 341 00:13:31,194 --> 00:13:34,996 - People with a freaky streak... - Khia, enough! 342 00:13:34,998 --> 00:13:36,965 But, yeah. 343 00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:40,601 Freaky streak. 344 00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:43,071 - Like... - (SIGHING) 345 00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:47,042 (WHISPERING) 346 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,478 How do you both know about this? 347 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,147 BOTH: My friends told me. 348 00:13:52,149 --> 00:13:54,082 I gotta go. 349 00:13:58,021 --> 00:14:02,423 So, is Auntie C doing, like, a money transfer thing, 350 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,025 or should I just wait 'til she gets back? 351 00:14:04,127 --> 00:14:05,760 She might not be back. 352 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,395 Oh, that sucks. I was gonna show her this. 353 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,501 Whoa. 354 00:14:13,503 --> 00:14:16,504 This was the first time I beat your aunt at Mario Kart. 355 00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:18,973 Leo's worried we're gonna end up like you two. 356 00:14:18,975 --> 00:14:20,341 Really? 357 00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:21,876 Yeah. 358 00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:22,978 What do you think? 359 00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,312 Well, it depends. 360 00:14:24,314 --> 00:14:25,846 Do I get to be the stay-at home dad, 361 00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:28,450 or the rich doctor? 362 00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:31,519 Funny. 363 00:14:31,521 --> 00:14:33,921 (SIGHING) I gotta find your aunt. 364 00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:36,123 - You good to watch Leo? - Sure. Hey! 365 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,392 Make sure she brings my money! 366 00:14:37,394 --> 00:14:41,296 ? 367 00:14:42,999 --> 00:14:45,600 AVERY: I swear my rabbit knows me better than anyone. 368 00:14:45,602 --> 00:14:46,935 RAMESH: Lucky bunny. 369 00:14:46,937 --> 00:14:49,537 (LAUGHING) You're so funny. 370 00:14:49,539 --> 00:14:52,339 No, I'm being serious. Rabbits are very lucky. 371 00:14:52,341 --> 00:14:53,675 Their feet at least. 372 00:14:53,677 --> 00:14:56,944 (LAUGHING) So, what do you do for fun? 373 00:14:56,946 --> 00:14:59,080 I enjoy movies quite a bit. 374 00:14:59,082 --> 00:15:00,815 New ones, old ones, you name it. 375 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,951 Ooh, anything exciting? 376 00:15:02,953 --> 00:15:05,220 I just watched Blade Runner. 377 00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:08,023 It's the most erotic reflection on mortality I've ever seen. 378 00:15:08,025 --> 00:15:11,225 - Sounds like my kind of movie. - You've not seen it? 379 00:15:11,227 --> 00:15:14,896 Well, I guess I'm not very mainstream. 380 00:15:14,898 --> 00:15:17,431 So, what got you on the app? 381 00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:20,167 - Doctor recommended! - Really? 382 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,704 I mean, I suppose she's more my niece-in-law? 383 00:15:23,706 --> 00:15:26,574 But really, my daughter's the one who pushed me into it. 384 00:15:26,576 --> 00:15:30,077 Love a pushy daughter. Makes for a stronger daddy. 385 00:15:30,079 --> 00:15:35,016 ? 386 00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:40,054 ANDREW: (KNOCKING) Hey, Carol. 387 00:15:40,056 --> 00:15:41,222 It's Andrew. 388 00:15:45,095 --> 00:15:48,396 (SIGHING) How'd you find me? 389 00:15:48,398 --> 00:15:50,065 I mapped out the nearest hotels, 390 00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:51,599 checked for ones with water slides... 391 00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:54,669 - You called Mom? - I called Mom. 392 00:15:54,671 --> 00:15:57,038 - Ugh. - (SIGHING) 393 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,542 She also mentioned that things just ended with a guy you were seeing. 394 00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:02,743 I didn't know. I'm sorry. 395 00:16:02,745 --> 00:16:06,481 Why? I broke it off with him. It wasn't working. 396 00:16:06,483 --> 00:16:08,015 Oh. I'm sorry. 397 00:16:08,017 --> 00:16:10,251 - Stop being sorry! - Sorry! 398 00:16:10,253 --> 00:16:12,020 I don't know what to say! 399 00:16:12,022 --> 00:16:14,142 Do you know what Mom told me right before I came here? 400 00:16:14,143 --> 00:16:16,290 - No. - That I should take Lorenzo back, 401 00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:19,093 because I'm running out of time to have kids. 402 00:16:19,095 --> 00:16:21,829 Ouch. 403 00:16:21,831 --> 00:16:23,131 Was Lorenzo the pet store guy? 404 00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:24,532 - Stop it! - Sorry. 405 00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:26,701 I like my life. 406 00:16:26,703 --> 00:16:30,972 What you have is great for you, but it's not what I want. 407 00:16:30,974 --> 00:16:32,707 Even though it's what everyone else wants for me. 408 00:16:32,709 --> 00:16:34,509 I just want you to be happy. 409 00:16:34,511 --> 00:16:37,111 And, I know it's different, 410 00:16:37,113 --> 00:16:39,681 but, I get it. 411 00:16:39,683 --> 00:16:41,282 You know what Mom said to me 412 00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:42,851 when I told her I'd stay home with the kids? 413 00:16:42,853 --> 00:16:45,286 - Hm? - Nothing. 414 00:16:45,288 --> 00:16:46,721 For three months. 415 00:16:46,723 --> 00:16:49,257 Oh, my God. I wish. 416 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,725 You know, we put our lives together, 417 00:16:50,727 --> 00:16:52,794 we'd make one passable Asian child. 418 00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:55,863 (BOTH LAUGHING) 419 00:16:55,865 --> 00:16:58,533 Hey. Check this out. 420 00:16:58,535 --> 00:17:00,401 Oh, my God! Stop it! 421 00:17:00,403 --> 00:17:03,805 (GASPING) Yo, I was adorable. 422 00:17:03,807 --> 00:17:05,339 And you know I let you win, right? 423 00:17:05,341 --> 00:17:08,476 - Okay, take it easy. - (KNOCKING) 424 00:17:08,478 --> 00:17:11,512 TIM: It's, uh, it's Tim. From Tru Bond. 425 00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:15,750 - Should I go? - Already bonded! 426 00:17:15,752 --> 00:17:17,051 TIM: Ah, okay. 427 00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:21,489 Yeah, um, maybe we don't tell Mom about this. 428 00:17:21,491 --> 00:17:23,091 Yeah. 429 00:17:23,093 --> 00:17:28,029 ? 430 00:17:28,031 --> 00:17:30,965 I'm just gonna powder my nose and we can go. 431 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,668 Unless... join me in the bathroom? 432 00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:35,103 I can hold it. 433 00:17:35,105 --> 00:17:36,838 I don't care much for public restrooms. 434 00:17:43,112 --> 00:17:44,779 Hey, Dad! Finally! 435 00:17:44,781 --> 00:17:46,080 Let's make a break for it. 436 00:17:46,082 --> 00:17:48,215 What? Why? 437 00:17:48,217 --> 00:17:50,185 That app isn't what you think it is. 438 00:17:50,187 --> 00:17:51,452 What do you mean? 439 00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:56,658 (WHISPERING) 440 00:17:58,394 --> 00:18:01,296 - I know that. - Oh, so you... 441 00:18:01,798 --> 00:18:03,764 - Oh. - Yes. 442 00:18:03,766 --> 00:18:08,135 Now, your ongoing presence here is really killing the buzz. 443 00:18:08,137 --> 00:18:09,937 Okay, well then, I was just... 444 00:18:09,939 --> 00:18:13,007 Oh. Who's this? 445 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:17,578 - Hi, I'm Camille. - Camille, will you be joining? 446 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,480 - No. - No! 447 00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:24,452 ? 448 00:18:24,454 --> 00:18:25,687 Did you find Auntie C? 449 00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:29,557 No. Psych! 450 00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:32,359 She'll tear you apart, stitch you back up, 451 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,961 and do it all over again. 452 00:18:33,963 --> 00:18:37,031 Get ready for a full-body ex-slam-ination! 453 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:41,970 - It's Carol the Conqueror! - (KIDS CHEERING) 454 00:18:41,972 --> 00:18:44,038 Who wants a ct scan to the solar plexus? 455 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,873 I do! 456 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,909 ANDREW: Be careful! She's stronger than she looks. 457 00:18:47,911 --> 00:18:50,711 Don't do it! He's just a kid! 458 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,581 I almost forgot. 459 00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,049 Thank you. 460 00:18:57,820 --> 00:18:59,754 - What's this?! - Brother bonus. 461 00:18:59,756 --> 00:19:01,856 Go make Juju and Toby jealous. 462 00:19:01,858 --> 00:19:03,991 You know those aren't their names. 463 00:19:03,993 --> 00:19:05,193 - Whatever. - ANDREW: Hey, you two! 464 00:19:06,596 --> 00:19:08,796 - (SHUTTER CLICKING) - Aw, that's so cute. 465 00:19:08,798 --> 00:19:10,531 - (BOTH GRUNTING) - Pham grab! 466 00:19:10,533 --> 00:19:11,833 Stop! I wasn't ready! 467 00:19:11,835 --> 00:19:13,134 CAROL: Come here, guys! Get his legs. 468 00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:15,235 - I got his legs! - Leo, no! 469 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,805 CAROL: Leo, bite his leg! Bite his leg! 470 00:19:17,807 --> 00:19:19,607 ANDREW: (SCREAMING) Get off me! 471 00:19:19,609 --> 00:19:22,710 - (OTHERS YELLING) - LEO: Body slam! 472 00:19:22,712 --> 00:19:27,148 - (OTHERS YELLING) - CAROL: Get him, Leo. 473 00:19:27,150 --> 00:19:32,086 - CAROL: Oh, he's slowing down. - (OTHERS YELLING AND CHEERING) 474 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,822 (OTHERS YELLING) 475 00:19:34,824 --> 00:19:39,093 - CAROL: Three, two, one, yeah! - LEO: (LAUGHING) Yeah! 476 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:43,497 (OTHERS LAUGHING AND CHEERING) 477 00:19:43,499 --> 00:19:45,232 You okay? 478 00:19:45,234 --> 00:19:47,468 - Yeah. - Where's your dad? 479 00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:50,038 - He's still out. - Playa's gon' play. 480 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,506 (FEIGNING LAUGHING) Jealous? 481 00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:55,309 I got all I need right here. 482 00:19:55,311 --> 00:19:56,644 Come on. 483 00:19:56,646 --> 00:20:01,316 (OTHERS LAUGHING AND CHEERING) 484 00:20:03,386 --> 00:20:06,320 ANDREW: Coming down the stairs, she may have a new step-mom 485 00:20:06,322 --> 00:20:07,989 by the end of the night. 486 00:20:07,991 --> 00:20:10,558 It's Mom the Rom Com Power Bomb. 487 00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:19,800 CAMILLE: M-e-u-l... 488 00:20:19,836 --> 00:20:21,170 Are you in Leo's Vietnamese school homework? 489 00:20:21,171 --> 00:20:24,005 No. Yes. I don't know. I'm inspired. 490 00:20:24,007 --> 00:20:25,273 He's learning Vietnamese. You're Vietnamese. 491 00:20:25,274 --> 00:20:27,008 I thought I should learn. 492 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,243 Plus... 493 00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:31,879 - (SPEAKING VIETNAMESE) _ - Oh, you are amazing. 494 00:20:31,948 --> 00:20:33,847 I know, also, Vietnamese is hard. 495 00:20:33,883 --> 00:20:37,284 Oh, it's not that bad. Hey, quiz me. 496 00:20:37,353 --> 00:20:39,287 - Okay, uh, cousins. - Easy. 497 00:20:39,289 --> 00:20:41,689 "Anh ho" for older male cousin, 498 00:20:41,758 --> 00:20:43,691 "chi ho" for older female cousin, 499 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,627 and "em ho" for younger cousin of any gender. 500 00:20:46,629 --> 00:20:49,864 - Correct. - That's why they call me Mr. Vietnam. 501 00:20:49,866 --> 00:20:52,700 Nobody calls you that, but the accent is doing it for me. 502 00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:54,936 Ooh, the Vietnamese accent 503 00:20:55,071 --> 00:20:59,573 very underrated in the sexy accent department. 504 00:20:59,642 --> 00:21:01,242 - What's next? - (CAMILLE LAUGHING) 505 00:21:01,311 --> 00:21:03,644 - Aunts? - Oh, I got a ton of aunts. 506 00:21:03,713 --> 00:21:07,648 You got b�c for your parent's elder sister, 507 00:21:07,650 --> 00:21:09,784 cau, 508 00:21:09,786 --> 00:21:12,320 and yee. 509 00:21:12,455 --> 00:21:14,788 - And that's it? - There are five answers. 510 00:21:17,594 --> 00:21:19,393 Stop putting so much pressure on me! 511 00:21:19,462 --> 00:21:21,829 Vietnamese is very hard. 512 00:21:21,898 --> 00:21:24,932 Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Vietnam. 513 00:21:24,934 --> 00:21:26,534 (SINGING IN VIETNAMESE) 514 00:21:31,585 --> 00:21:36,135 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36907

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