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1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:03,769
Goddamn!
2
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:04,836
You made this?
3
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,171
-I know what you're thinking:
4
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:09,174
You didn't know people under 85
were allowed to make brittle.
5
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:10,809
-Are they?
-They just legalized it.
6
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,379
-Well, I'm glad it's no longer
an ageist art form,
7
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,881
Although I do fear
you young punks will ruin it.
8
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:18,450
Is it tough making brittle
without your sense of smell?
9
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,052
-Not really, but it did
get in the way of me
10
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:22,221
Becoming a truffle pig.
11
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,156
-Well, you're an
unbelievable brittlist...
12
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,257
Brittler... Brittelier?
13
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,726
-I prefer
"boss-ass brittle bitch."
14
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,127
-Okay.
15
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:32,197
-But people can call me whatever
they want as long as I sell out.
16
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,665
These wedding bills
are piling up.
17
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,335
-Well, I'll be sure to send
the staff over to buy
18
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,303
Some of this boss-ass
brittle, bitch!
19
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,606
-What'd you just say?
20
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,740
-I just said it
'cause you said it.
21
00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:44,876
- I would never--
- just kidding!
22
00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:47,178
Hey, I've actually been
meaning to ask you,
23
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,680
Do you have any skis in stock?
24
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,016
-Not this time of year,
but we should be getting some
25
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,418
In the next couple weeks,
26
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,319
So I'll keep my ear
to the ground.
27
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,888
-Mind keeping an eye
to the ground instead?
28
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,823
Might yield better results.
29
00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,158
-The fuck you just say?
30
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,093
I'm just kidding!
31
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,428
-And hey, the only way
to fail is to quit,
32
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,697
So don't give up on those
truffle pig dreams, okay?
33
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,835
-Can't forget
my boss-ass brittle...
34
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,437
Not gonna say it.
35
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,774
♪
36
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,042
Chris: 97...
37
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,844
98...
38
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:21,013
Yup!
99...
39
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,081
Damn...
100!
40
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,383
-Oh!
41
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,118
-You're gonna
crush those olympics!
42
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,853
-From your lips
to my right arm's ears.
43
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,223
-Whoa, that was pretty dope.
44
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,259
-I would say
it was prodigious.
45
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,627
-Is that so?
46
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,330
-It means impressively great
in extent, size, or degree.
47
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:41,466
-Yeah, I knew that.
-I don't believe you did.
48
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,335
-What an arrogant ass.
49
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:47,072
-Even when he says hello,
it sounds like an insult.
50
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,840
That's a gift.
51
00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:50,509
-Sorry, man, no can do.
52
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,578
We don't really unload
garages full of random shit.
53
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,014
Dj: Uh, just gimme a second.
Hey, whoa--
54
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,482
Hey, jimmy, you there?
55
00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:00,051
Sorry, let me just switch
my hearing aids over.
56
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,521
Okay.
Hey, sorry about that trainee.
57
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,624
Did I hear you say that, uh,
you're unloading your garage?
58
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,626
You happen to have
any skis in there?
59
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:10,529
Amazing.
Lemme just grab your address.
60
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:12,898
Okay, I will swing by asap.
61
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,166
No, thank you!
62
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,767
Alright, see ya, jimbo.
63
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,169
-We do pickups now, boss?
64
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,905
-Uh, not usually, bud, but we
do always go the extra mile
65
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,106
For our customers.
66
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,309
Hey, did I hear you say,
"garage full of random shit"?
67
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,312
-Uh, yeah,
but that's what he called it!
68
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,047
-Keeran, I need you
to think of yourself
69
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,383
As a brand ambassador
for omt, okay?
70
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,451
So how you speak to
the customers needs to reflect
71
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,720
The ethos of that brand.
You got it?
72
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,123
-Ethos is that new
souvlaki place downtown, right?
73
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:39,925
-Yeah, they make
their baklava in-house.
74
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,026
It's unreal.
75
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,261
Even the falafel is great.
76
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,929
Not too dry.
It's authentic stuff.
77
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:44,997
-Cool.
78
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,466
-But what I'm saying is,
you need to be polite
79
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:50,302
And professional
on the phone at all times.
80
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,869
This is important, okay?
81
00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:53,906
-I'm so sorry.
Please don't fire me.
82
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,273
I'll do better on the phones!
83
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,075
I never wanna
let my work dad down.
84
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,310
-Relax, you're not fired, bud.
85
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,111
And please don't
call me your work dad.
86
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,480
It's unsettling.
87
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:04,082
-It won't happen again,
work father.
88
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,350
-Okay.
89
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,886
-I just don't know.
-It's a big decision.
90
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,155
But you know
who swears by this glove?
91
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,890
Mike trout.
92
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:16,294
One of the most prodigious
players to ever play the game!
93
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,964
-Well, how can I say no
to the most prodigious player?
94
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,601
I'll take three.
95
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:26,904
-I'll meet you over
at the cash when you're ready.
96
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:29,841
-What the hell was that?
-What was... What?
97
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,243
-You stole my word.
98
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,911
You said "prodigious."
it's my word.
99
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,279
-My bad.
100
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,115
I didn't know there were rules
on who could use fancy words.
101
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,483
-There's a plethora of rules,
102
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:39,985
Because the word
maketh the man,
103
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:42,120
And when the rules are broken,
it makes me lugubrious.
104
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,122
-Oh, if that means phlegmy,
stay away from me!
105
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,857
My coach will kill me
if I get sick.
106
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,259
-It's not illness-related,
you prat.
107
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,727
-Patty's got a soccer tourney
this weekend and I'm driving.
108
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,529
Really can't afford
to get whatever it is
109
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,563
You're riddled with.
110
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,266
-Lugubrious means sad, okay?
111
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,968
It makes me sad.
-Oh.
112
00:03:56,103 --> 00:04:00,806
Well, I don't wanna
make you lugu... Sad.
113
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,373
Won't happen again.
114
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,875
-Thank you.
115
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,549
-You're saying you
want a job here at omt?
116
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,418
-Look, this is the last place
that I ever saw myself,
117
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,153
But my life is in peril, so...
118
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,621
-Well, what's going on?
119
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,623
-It's like you follow
one car home
120
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,091
After that car cuts you off,
121
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,027
And then chauffeur
just shuts down your account?
122
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,228
I mean... Hah!
123
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,297
It's like apparently "illegal"
to follow people home.
124
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,598
I don't know.
-It is.
125
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,900
-It's total corporate-profit-
over-people horse shit.
126
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,370
-Do you have
any retail experience?
127
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,305
-No, nada.
-Okay.
128
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,606
Um, what are your strengths?
129
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:38,176
-I would say my greatest
strength is that
130
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,379
I respect you too much to
give you a bullshit answer
131
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,350
To a cliché interview question
like that.
132
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,985
-Thank you?
-You're welcome!
133
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,653
Oh, uh, and I would love
134
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,156
If I could have
staggering shifts from dj.
135
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,859
We, uh, tried to co-run
a lemonade stand together
136
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:58,063
When we were kids
and his nose got broken.
137
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,397
Allegedly.
138
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,132
-I see.
139
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:04,269
I'm sorry, nat,
I just don't have the budget
140
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,937
To hire anybody right now.
141
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,040
-But, cynthia,
you are a mastermind.
142
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:11,543
What do you say
you just lean in and...
143
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,078
You could figure something out!
144
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,546
-Heh!
145
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,547
Flattery will get
you everywhere.
146
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,217
You're so funny, you!
147
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,852
-Oh, sorry. Not here.
-What?
148
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,088
-No, no.
Sorry, nat, it's impossible.
149
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,489
really?
150
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:25,490
-Impossible.
151
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:26,958
that sucks!
152
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,293
Oh my god...
153
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:33,631
♪
154
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,634
Dj: Whoa, jimmy,
this is a gold mine!
155
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,034
Jimmy: Take whatever you want.
156
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,771
I'm moving to florida,
and my soon-to-be ex-wife says
157
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,841
Anything I don't take with me,
she's gonna burn to the ground.
158
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,376
-Brutal!
What'd you do?
159
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,712
-Heh.
I'd rather not say.
160
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,046
-We respect your privacy.
161
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,915
Jimmy: So, uh, lock up
when you're done!
162
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,051
-Sounds good, jimmy.
Thanks for thinking of omt.
163
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,187
-Anyway,
I can't thank you enough
164
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,522
For letting me have first dibs.
165
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,658
Oh, by the way,
I have work in an hour.
166
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,192
Do you think that's doable?
167
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,527
-Pssht...
168
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,262
Are you kidding me?
169
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,664
If these trends continue, we'll
be out of here in 5 minutes
170
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,266
With 55 minutes to spare.
171
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:11,269
-Hell, we might even have time
for ethos on the way home.
172
00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:12,671
-We'd be fools not to go.
173
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,509
-Whoa!
174
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,676
Are you okay?
175
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,245
-Yeah...
You?
176
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,280
-Yeah, I'm good.
177
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,487
-But I can't get this open.
178
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,288
-Uh...
179
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,492
okay,
well, this door's locked, too.
180
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,027
-What kind of lock is it?
181
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,329
-What kind of lock
would bring you hope?
182
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,131
-None of 'em, I guess.
-Hmm.
183
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,467
-Don't worry, we'll still
get you to work on time
184
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,269
With a belly full of ethos,
no less.
185
00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:45,470
-Okay...
186
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,273
Dj: Oh...
187
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,512
We might have to skip ethos.
188
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,389
-Yeah,
we are definitely trapped.
189
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:05,557
We should probably call someone.
190
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,325
-Great idea.
191
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,593
My phone's in the car.
192
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,462
-Uh, mine's at 1%.
193
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,663
-Dude, seriously?
194
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,130
-I was gonna
charge it in the car,
195
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,966
But you were using
the cord, so...
196
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,267
-That was very nice of you.
197
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,702
-I'm no hero.
198
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,136
But we probably
only have one call.
199
00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:20,138
Two if we keep it brief.
200
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,873
I don't have jimmy's
number, though.
201
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,209
I'll call omt.
They can give us jimmy's number.
202
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,477
-Love it. Let's do it!
-Okay, here we go.
203
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,080
-Bluetooth,
right in the hearing aids.
204
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,082
-Ah.
-Amazing technology.
205
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,951
Keeran: thank you for calling one more time.
206
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,487
My name is keeran, and I'm here to go above and beyond
207
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,022
To help you with
all your sporting needs,
208
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,023
From hockey to baseball,
from tennis to racquetball,
209
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,424
From fishing to lacrosse, from basketball--
210
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,759
-Hey, keeran, it's dj.
211
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,895
Uh, I appreciate
the professionalism, bud,
212
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,031
But, uh, I'm in a bit
of a rush here.
213
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,365
Also, "from tennis
to racquetball"
214
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:48,566
Isn't that big of a spread.
215
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:51,035
-Okay, I can sense you're upset,
but omt is here to help.
216
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,504
How can I help? I'm keeran.
217
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:53,705
-You already
gave your name, bud.
218
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,941
Uh, listen,
I'm in a bit of a rush here.
219
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,909
I'm stuck in, uh,
jimmy's garage with gwen.
220
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,411
-Oh, tell gwen I've been
downing her brittle all morning.
221
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,580
It's the best!
222
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,114
-He says he loves your brittle.
-Thanks, keeran.
223
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,716
Keeran: Ask her how she makes it.
224
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,183
-How do you--
he wants to-- keeran!
225
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,919
We don't have time for this,
buddy, okay?
226
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,988
Listen, I need you to
look up jimmy's number
227
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,189
As quick as you can, okay?
228
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,657
Keeran: I see what you're doing.
229
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,659
I'm afraid I can't give out
any phone numbers
230
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:15,860
Under any circumstance.
231
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,863
-Keeran, my phone's at 1%.
Please, quick!
232
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,397
-Why don't you
just charge it, then?
233
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,732
-Keeran!
234
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,001
-Okay, let me just figure out
how to put you on hold
235
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,536
And then I'll get a--
-keeran?
236
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,603
-Did your phone die?
237
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,471
-No, I think he hung up.
I got him.
238
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,707
I'm calling him back here.
239
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,841
Keeran: Hello.
240
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:31,876
Thank you for calling omt.
241
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,612
I'm keeran. I'm a part-time
sales associate--
242
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,880
-Hey, keeran, it's dj.
243
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,481
Keeran: Oh. Hey, dj. I got the number.
244
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,017
-Great.
What is it?
245
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,652
-It's 519...
-519...
246
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,653
628--
247
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,422
-Shit...
248
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,091
It died.
-No!
249
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,059
-Well, there's gotta be
a charger in here somewhere.
250
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,361
-Heh... For a flip phone, maybe!
251
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,630
-Well, let's look.
252
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,831
Worst-case scenario, maybe
we find the other ski, too.
253
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,567
-Yes, let's find
those skis for eddie.
254
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,001
Good distraction.
255
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,637
-The... Skis are for eddie?
256
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,004
-Yeah, his birthday's
coming up
257
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,406
And I wanted to surprise him.
-Oh...!
258
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,176
Aw, how cool is that,
that we're here for eddie?
259
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,113
-Yeah! But I really appreciate
you helping me with this.
260
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,114
-Of course.
261
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,889
Nat: Oh! Hey, cynth!
What's up?
262
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,926
-My word,
what are you doing in there?
263
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,729
-Oh, man, you would not believe
how much these businesses waste.
264
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,065
I mean, look at this.
265
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,801
It's like a veritable
smorgasbord in here.
266
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,136
-So... You're dumpster diving?
267
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,139
-No! No, no,
I prefer to think of it as
268
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:38,276
Thriving off the waste
of the wealthy fat cats.
269
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,879
but yeah, yeah,
I'm dumpster diving.
270
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,146
Do you, uh--
roll?
271
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:45,483
-Oh! Um, thank you.
I am--
272
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,152
-I'm off bread.
-Got you.
273
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,420
-Is your brother aware of this?
274
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,889
- Uh... no.
- I don't need his help.
275
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,024
I am an independent woman.
276
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:56,628
-Oh, god,
that takes me back to '99.
277
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,697
I was on the lam in guadalajara
278
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,366
And had to steal tacos
off of restaurant tables
279
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,967
Just to stay alive!
280
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,570
And I thought y2k
was gonna wipe my record clean.
281
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,872
But when that
turned out to be a sham,
282
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,108
I had to get resourceful too.
283
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,275
-So...
284
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,310
Stripping?
285
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,647
-Yeah, yeah.
Sure, let's go with that.
286
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:16,914
-Cool.
287
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,651
Well, uh, I gotta go check out
the ethos dumpster
288
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:22,520
Before the sun does too much
damage to the souvlaki.
289
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,556
so...
290
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:27,592
nat?
291
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:32,263
God does grant me the courage
to change the things that I can.
292
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:33,198
-Uh...
293
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,000
-You know what?
I'm gonna go back in
294
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,135
And I'm gonna
look at those numbers again
295
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,803
And I'm gonna
get you a job.
296
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,071
-No way.
297
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,307
That is sick!
That's radical!
298
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,442
I totally believe in you!
-Ah!
299
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,077
-If you wanna,
if you wanna hang later,
300
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,278
We can grab dins maybe.
301
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,947
- Oh, I'm goo--
- blech!
302
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,950
stuck in here
'cause of eddie...
303
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,352
Gwen: Find anything?
304
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,553
-Uh, no.
305
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:58,957
I mean, just these devil sticks,
hamlet costume,
306
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,959
And this zebra telephone.
307
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,761
Hello?
Yeah, no one there.
308
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,495
Still trapped. You?
309
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,831
-Just whatever the hell this is.
310
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,800
-No way... I know
exactly what this is!
311
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:09,968
-Yeah?
312
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,203
-My mom used to have
one of these in the basement.
313
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,405
It was called
the blubberbuster 2000.
314
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,977
-Women were definitely
climaxing to this, right?
315
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,779
-Oh, yeah.
Not my mom, though.
316
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,447
Not that I don't want
my mom to climax.
317
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,282
- that's very...
- Thoughtful.
318
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,584
-It's all yours if you want it.
-Oh, no.
319
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,220
My basement's already
teeming with brittle things.
320
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,055
-You're a real brittle head,
huh?
321
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,391
-I used to dream about
opening my own shop.
322
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,392
-Yeah?
323
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,028
-I would call it
"brittle house on the prairie."
324
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,196
It's ridiculous, I know.
325
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,064
-You need to open
this shop immediately.
326
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,299
-Uh, no!
It takes money and it's risky,
327
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,836
And I haven't even
told eddie yet.
328
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,204
-How does eddie
not know about bhop?
329
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,739
-Because it's never
gonna happen!
330
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,474
Because who's ever heard of
a successful brittle store?
331
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,877
-I once saw
a hugely successful store
332
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,480
That sold nothing
but penis-shaped doughnuts.
333
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,181
if that kid can make
334
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,551
Their perverted pastry dreams
come true,
335
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,885
So can you.
336
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,687
-Thanks, dj.
337
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,088
You're a good friend.
338
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:06,891
Hit me!
339
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,563
Jen: Ahh!
340
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,566
Chris: 197...
341
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:15,633
198...
342
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,369
199, yup!
343
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,570
200!
344
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,039
did it!
345
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,707
-Oh!
-Oh-ho-ho!
346
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,242
-Hoo! Hoo!
347
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:28,513
-If you don't come home
with at least six gold medals,
348
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,582
It'll be a real lugubrious
state of affairs.
349
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,851
Jen: Ah, there's only one
medal available, but, uh,
350
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:34,919
I appreciate your support,
buddy.
351
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,654
-Look, I'm trying to
be equitable here, man,
352
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:37,889
But you just did it again.
353
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:38,956
-Did... What?
354
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,192
-Used my word, "lugubrious."
mine.
355
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,194
We talked about this.
What is this, adrenal fatigue?
356
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,896
What?
-I didn't even notice.
357
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,664
-Oh, you just happened
to use the phrase
358
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,598
"lugubrious state of affairs"?
359
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:48,867
That's just normal
layman speak for you?
360
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,034
-I swear.
361
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,902
And I'm for real sorry, man.
362
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,607
-I put a ton of effort
into these words,
363
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,941
Upgrading my lexicon daily,
364
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,610
And they're not available
for any plebeian
365
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,144
To just haphazardly purloin.
366
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,013
When it comes to learning
sophisticated terminology,
367
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,147
I'm indefatigable.
368
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,515
Don't do it again!
369
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,686
-Are you messing with him?
370
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,622
-Just 100%!
371
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:11,923
-Wow!
372
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,624
I think you like confrontation.
373
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,759
-It's not confrontation,
374
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,595
It's confrontainment!
375
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,632
Gwen: So...
376
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,634
What's your ridiculous dream?
377
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,471
-I wanted to be a pro
hockey player and I did it.
378
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,440
I didn't make the nhl, but it
was still a pretty sweet ride.
379
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,309
-Why'd you stop?
-It was time.
380
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,445
Uh, plus, I love korverton,
381
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,547
And after travelling
all over the place
382
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,782
It was nice to come home.
383
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,851
-Oh, god,
I'm so bored of korverton.
384
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,819
Probably because I never left.
385
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,122
I did go to montreal
in high school,
386
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,857
But I got pickpocketed
by a mime.
387
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,125
I saw him do it, too.
388
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,593
I thought it was
part of the bit,
389
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,861
Then I just watched him
pull himself on a rope
390
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:52,263
Until he was gone.
391
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,465
-I don't mean to brag,
but I've been to 20 countries
392
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,134
And I've been
pickpocketed 16 times.
393
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,336
- any of them mimes?
- No.
394
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,305
-Then that don't
impress me much.
395
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,073
-Shut up,
was that a twain bomb?!
396
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,408
-Yeah, I'm a huge fan.
You?
397
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:07,812
-I guess you could say that...
398
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,481
-Shut up! Is that real?
-Oh, yeah.
399
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,150
Got it after her
hometown show in timmins.
400
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,218
I'm still buzzin'!
401
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,187
I regret nothing.
402
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,564
-Um, there's something
I need to tell you.
403
00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:29,267
do you hear that?
404
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,302
-Are you messing with me?
-No, it's like a...
405
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,904
Like a repeated
high-pitched tone,
406
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,973
Kind of like an alarm.
407
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,308
-Do you smell that?
-Very funny, dj.
408
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,643
The sound is real, by the way.
409
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,912
-Okay, I'm so sorry,
but the smell is real too.
410
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,047
Honestly,
it's like straight-up farts.
411
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,983
-What, like sulphur,
or like...
412
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,117
Like natural gas?
413
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,919
Is that what you think
the alarm is?
414
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,120
Like a natural gas detector?
415
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,055
-Oh my god,
is this place gonna explode?
416
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:54,191
-Keeran, hold all my calls.
417
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,727
Alright, nat,
let's get you working.
418
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:05,470
♪
419
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:06,838
♪
420
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,609
Okay... Okay...
421
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,545
♪
422
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,282
♪
423
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:21,052
♪
424
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:26,824
Oh...
425
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,226
♪
426
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,031
-I'm not saying
it's gonna explode,
427
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,099
I'm just saying
I hope it doesn't explode.
428
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,734
-Stop saying explode!
429
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,235
-I'm sorry, don't explode on me.
430
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,171
-I'm gonna kill you.
-My bad, you set me up.
431
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,305
-The beeping's getting louder.
432
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,239
-How much louder?
-I dunno!
433
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,708
How am I supposed
to measure that?
434
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,242
-Decibels?
-Who can earball a decibel?
435
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,244
Is the smell getting worse?
436
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,012
-In that it's now a taste?
Oh, yeah!
437
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,213
-Why is this happening?
438
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,949
-Oh god, it's made
its way into my throat!
439
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,649
-I think the sound
is getting piercing.
440
00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:53,851
-It is?
-Probably!
441
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,319
Ah, the sound is definitely
maybe getting piercing!
442
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,621
I think it's almost
maybe actually
443
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,556
Definitely going
to explode on us!
444
00:15:58,691 --> 00:15:59,656
Get down!
445
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,192
Dj: Ow!
446
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,263
-Hey, guys.
447
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,465
-What the...?
-Huh?
448
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,604
eddie: Where are you going?
449
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,606
-Dj: This place is gonna blow!
-Eddie: What do you mean?
450
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:16,941
Dj: Come on, come on!
451
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,676
-Don't you hear that sound?
-You mean that sound?
452
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,013
-Dj: Oh, I hear it now.
-Eddie: Yeah!
453
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,883
-I thought we were gonna die,
but it was just...
454
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:26,951
A theremin.
455
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,086
-That's...
456
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,153
That's beautiful.
457
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,855
-I'm so glad you didn't die.
458
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,124
I'd be so lost without you.
459
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,558
Gwen: How did you find us?
460
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:37,361
-Oh, yeah, I went to angry al's
to come see you,
461
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,897
And, uh, josh said you were
over at omt, and this, like,
462
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,233
Super professional kid gave me
the address here, and then,
463
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,901
You know, ethos is on the way,
464
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,004
So I thought I'd get us
a little lunchy-poo!
465
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,771
-Thanks, man!
466
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,307
-Oh, man, I'm sorry.
467
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,942
I didn't know you'd be hungry.
468
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,176
Anyway,
we gotta get you to work.
469
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:53,878
Gwen: I'll meet you at the car.
470
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:54,878
-Okay.
-Okay.
471
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,117
By the way, what did
you wanna tell me earlier?
472
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,852
-Oh, wait here.
473
00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:07,057
-Found the other ski.
474
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:10,094
I can wax 'em up and bring
'em over to you after work.
475
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,996
-Thank you.
476
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,498
You're the best.
477
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,604
-I... Probably should go
make sure I still have a job.
478
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,474
You do that.
479
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:32,083
-You can return them in 10 days
if you're not satisfied.
480
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,285
Our customer service
is indefatigable!
481
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,629
-You nefarious, odious,
unscrupulous thief!
482
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,497
You deceitful, reprehensible,
verbiage burglar!
483
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,533
-Hey, hey, hey, relax!
484
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,301
I hate seeing you so apoplectic.
485
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,336
-I swear to god, I--
486
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:54,705
Wait... "apoplectic"?
487
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,074
How did you--
uh, where did you get that?
488
00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:01,045
-Well, my friend,
I, too, am literate.
489
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:04,381
-I had no idea I was labouring
with a fellow sesquipedalian.
490
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:06,183
-"sesquipedalian"
is an adjective.
491
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,853
I'm, in fact,
a sesquipedalian person.
492
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,589
-How do you know so much,
yet keep it all inside?
493
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,724
-Speaking eruditely,
all the time,
494
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:17,862
Can make you seem like
a real lugubrious sack of shit.
495
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:21,332
-So I've heard from many
ex-suitors, and yet I persist.
496
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,267
-Ah, well, you do you.
-Hm.
497
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,402
-We're good now?
-We're copacetic.
498
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:28,238
-Dope.
-Indubitably.
499
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,610
-Hmm, if only there were a medal
500
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,880
For winning the nerdiest
dick-swinging contest.
501
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,748
-Word.
502
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,285
-I thought it couldn't be done,
but... I did it.
503
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,354
I did it!
504
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:46,257
I never should have
doubted you, cynthia.
505
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:49,293
Okay!
506
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,496
-Go for nat.
507
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,665
Cynthia: nat, I did the impossible!
508
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,634
I negotiated with our
hockey tape supplier
509
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,835
And got them to reduce
their price by 5%.
510
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,771
I cut our internet down
to a slower provider--
511
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,907
Customers are gonna have to
wait an additional 8 seconds
512
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:04,841
Per transaction, but what's
time other than money?
513
00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:07,712
And finally, I switched to
one-ply recycled toilet paper!
514
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,580
Rough as the devil,
but cheap as hell.
515
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:12,850
So I am now so proud
to be able to offer you...
516
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,321
Three shifts per week!
517
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,456
Which will hopefully
allow you to eat food
518
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,325
That isn't out of a dumpster.
519
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:25,329
So, welcome to the team,
natalie james!
520
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,765
-Oh, cynth, that's so cute.
I appreciate it.
521
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,266
But, um, hard pass.
522
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,601
-What?!
523
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:33,203
-Yeah, I got my chauffeur back,
so it's all good.
524
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:35,105
okay, bye-bye!
525
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:46,517
-You mother--
nobody cuts off nat!
526
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,952
Carl, buckle up!
527
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,287
It's about to get messy.
528
00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,922
yeah!
529
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,025
-And the alarm
that gwen thought she heard,
530
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,761
It was just a guy tuning
the high notes on his theremin.
531
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,562
-Is that the instrument
where you jerk off the air?
532
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,264
-Yeah, that's the one.
-Sick.
533
00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,032
And the gas smell was farts?
534
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,701
-Oh, no, it was natural gas.
535
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,036
Turns out jimmy's
scorned ex-wife
536
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,603
Was gonna blow
the place to bits.
537
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:07,638
-Damn!
538
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,974
Hate to see a negative
cliché confirmed.
539
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,176
Sounds like you and gwen
had a traumatic experience.
540
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,343
-We sure did.
541
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,980
But you know what they say
about trauma...
542
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,381
It brings people together.
543
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,784
you said it, buddy.
544
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,390
Josh: Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!
545
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,260
Ahh-hh-hh-hh-hh!
546
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:33,930
-"selcouth": Strange, unusual.
Yeah.
547
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:37,101
"pulchritudinous":
Physically beautiful. Like me.
548
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,602
-Hey, man.
549
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,339
Uh, I'd like to sell these.
550
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,107
Um, don't tell gwen.
551
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:44,342
-Why not?
552
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,743
-Well, she got 'em for me,
553
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,811
Which is really, really sweet,
554
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,912
I just hate the colour,
you know?
555
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:53,083
Give you 20 bucks.
Not a penny more.
556
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,284
These skis are ponderous.
557
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,553
what the hell does that mean?
558
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,822
-It means bunglesome
or incommodious.
559
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,960
-Fuck you, man.
560
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,432
-"libatory"...
561
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,267
Oh, that's good.
562
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,103
"badmash": A hooligan.
563
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,505
Hmm, quite a badmash!
564
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,441
"humdudgeon":
An imaginary illness or pain.
565
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,510
I don't have any of those.
566
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,779
"pizookie": The original
cast iron cookie.
567
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:22,913
Okay, obviously.
568
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:27,651
"sternutator": An agent
that causes sneezes.
569
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,854
"pantagruelian": Enormous.
570
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,058
My goodness, keeran
is a pantagruelian horn dog.
571
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,560
"scofflaw": A person
who flouts the law.
572
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:37,728
Ooh, "flouts" is good too.
40967
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