All language subtitles for Kid Sister s02e03 My Yiddishe Momme.eng

[clinking]

[clanging]

? [church bells ringing] ?

- ? [church bells ringing] ?
- [chopping]

? [church bells ringing] ?

? ?

Hannah, hannah?

- Huh, louisa.
- [clapping]

Ah, come.

[laughs]

Come, sit please, sit.

I never get to see you.

Look at you.

Now I need to teach you how to
scum a soup, hmm.

Your mother can't scum a soup to
save her life.

Everybody knows it.

And that is why we don't go to
yours for shabbat, hmm.

[water splashing]

- [clapping]
- no, no.

Trust me, darling, you don't
need more chips.

Good, so tell me about this boy.

[chopping]

Oliver, hmm, is it a good match?

I think so.

Has he got a trade?

- A butcher, tailor.
- He's a musician.

Aiyah, musician!

Ok, ok.

Why are you here, nana?

I hear you'll be married soon.

You need to learn to make soup.

Do you, really?

Like we don't really do that
anymore.

That is what I thought.

[bang]

Until I shacked up with hershey.

Then my plans--my plans were
swept by the wayside.

And soon you end up doing
everything for everybody because

It's easier if you do it all
your fucking yourself, ha!

[water running]

And do the people thank you for
it?

Oh, hannah, thank you.

No.

They resent you until the day
you die.

I'm sorry, nana.

That's just not gonna happen to
me.

Listen to me, louisa.

Don't become a yiddish.

Remember, it's not worth it.

[clock ticking]

[shouting]

[gasping]

[heavy breathing]

- [crickets chirping]
- [exhaling]

What does that old hag know?

? ?

? oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

? oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

? ?

Yeah, I've been liking it a lot.

And the names are great.

I met a guy at shawl whose name
is joshua schwarzman.

He's a doctor, right?

Yeah, that's right.

Doctor josh schwarzman.

[laughter]

Now, tell us, are you too
observing kashrut?

We haven't quite--

No, we are,
we have been.

We're kosher as hell.

I mean, obviously we miss
lasagna,

But this is way more important
to us, right?

- Mm hmm.
- Yeah.

This all sounds good.

And we look forward to speaking
with you again.

Bye.

- Bye.
- Thanks.

Oh, my gosh, whoo.

Ok, well, that was amazing,
right?

They're addicted to us.

You had them eating out of the
palm of your hand.

- Yay.
- You've been pure shit.

- No.
- Are you two keeping kosher?

- Yeah.
- Kosher, kosher.

Yeah.

Well, then you won't have a
problem having me over to your

Place for lunch for a fully
kosher home-cooked meal.

Perhaps this Sunday?

No, I won't.

Sounds great.

- Excellent.
- Cool.

If you screw it up, just so you
know,

It'll be the first treif meal
I'll have had in my entire life.

? ?

Siggy, get it away.

[laughter]

Oh, no.

I'll be dead long before I look
like that.

You will live to be 120 years
old.

No.

You promised you'd kill me when
the time comes.

You're not backing out of it
now.

We've picked the pillow.

You're doing it.

[knocking]

Ok, remember, clear but not
forceful.

If you startle him, he could
run.

? ?

Mr. March, March this way.

Thank you.

I am incredibly scared.

Yeah, karen wanted to be here,
but I said it was better it was

Just us guys--a mano a mano.

I know she can be a bit scary
sometimes.

- Oh, hi, ollie.
- He--hello.

So, ollie, how are things with
lulu?

- Good.
- Yeah.

- Settling in well at the flat?
- Uh huh.

- Don't mind me.
- [bang]

- This is an orange.
- Ask him about--

I will.

Thank you.

So karen mentioned that lulu
said something about the rabbi

Approaching the topic of a
wedding.

And we're wondering if that
means that you're betrothed.

- Betrothed?
- Engaged to be wed.

Did you say you wanted this?

- Thank you, darling.
- Check the back.

[banging]

Karen, enough.

Argh, ollie, we need to know
what's happening.

Can you please just tell us
exactly what rabbi wolf said.

- About getting married?
- Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, so basically he set--set
some dates and he pencilled in

A wedding seven months from now.

So then are you engaged?

Because it sounds like you're
getting married,

But no one's proposed.

I guess technically the rabbi
proposed.

Right.

Look, there's something I wanna
give you.

You can take it if you want.

No pressure.

But this belonged to my mother.

- It's lovely.
- Hmm.

A little sturdy leather box.

So you're gonna wanna to open
it.

Oh, wow, yeah.

Wow, ok.

- That's very nice.
- I think so too.

? ?

- Do you understand?
- I think so.

Good, right.

I'll leave this with you then.

? ?

- This is insane.
- But how does it feel?

It feels unbelievable.

Ok, I feel invincible.

The secret to a happy, calm baby
is recreating the environment

Of the womb.

Swaddling and shushing and
swinging and sucking.

Mm hmm.

Look how snug he is.

I want that.

Leo, get up.

[knocking]

- [thud]
- jesus.

We need you to hide.

- I'm so sorry.
- What?

You still haven't told them?

Look, this is for your own
safety, ok?

Oh, thanks so much,
no worries.

[door closes]

It was a courier.

I should have known your mom
would never knock.

Yeah.

Ok, just warning you now, that
it's not going to happen again.

Pick your preferred work
environment.

See, this annoys me.

It's a career quiz, and the
first question is what career

Do you want?

Ok, I'm going at, artistic and
creative?

Same.

Flexible and unpredictable.

Me.

Pick your ideal Saturday
afternoon.

Uh, trust falls with my drama
troupe.

Then to the cinema, where I talk
the entire way through

An old film.

[laughter]

They--this question does not
have that as an option.

Hanging with friends.

Exploring a new city.

Hey, is that chill if ollie and
I have the rabbi for lunch

On Sunday?

- I'd go to that.
- Yes.

Can we meet him?

You just got a vouch that we're
like v devout.

Oh, what animal do you feel most
connected to?

This, I like.

Penguin, obviously.

Badger.

A lion.

Ok, results loading.

- Whoa.
- [laughter]

Actor, you're destined to become
a star.

Oh, my god, art teacher,
that's so crazy.

We've basically answered, like,
all the same stuff.

Shit is so accurate.

So accurate.

Ok, what is wrong?

I might head to bed 'cause it's
so late.

Oh, wow.

Retail cashier.

Bag items and greet folk with a
smile.

Korea cashier.

It's so specific.

That's dumb.

These things are stupid.

[seagulls crying]

We're still going to go
swimming.

Oh yeah, definitely.

Can you just get the back for
me?

My shoulder injury, can't quite
reach around there.

Just tuck the back--back bits
in?

No, no, I'm not putting my
fingers up there.

Oh, come on, ollie.

Just shove it up there.

Yeah, ow ow.

Not too hard,
that's enough.

Ok.

I'm stuck.

What?

Ollie, ow, ow, ollie.

Should I propose to lulu, do you
think?

Oh, do you want to do that?

Her dad gave me a ring from his
mum.

An engagement ring?

Did you ask for that?

- Actually, never mind.
- That is so involved.

Mum, let's just swim, please.

No, listen to me.

These people, not--not these
people.

But these emmanuels, they are
very pushy people.

Look, mum, he didn't say
propose.

He just offered it.

Said it might be useful.

Useful to whom?

I swear, the overstepping that
goes on.

You've met them twice.

Oh, I know things.

Don't ask.

The thing is, I just never
really thought of us as marriage

People, ollie.

You should do what you two want.

I'd like to marry lulu.

It is what I want.

- Oh, that's good then.
- I'm going swimming.

Yup.

? ?

So you have cleaned the oven and
ran it for 24 hours and boiled

All of the dishes and cups?

We've done it all.

Our kitchen looks like a
freaking spaceship.

Looks like it believes in
conspiracy theories.

Do you wanna hear my theory?

Is it going to be kind of
cynical and maybe question

Everything?

Religious rules around food are
so complicated because whoever

Designed them--

- God.
- God, clearly.

--Didn't want their group eating
with people outside

Their culture.

I mean, when it is this hard to
sit and share a meal with

Someone, you kinda just go,
"you know what?

Fuck it".

I know exactly what you mean.

But right now, I have a massive
kosher lunch to prepare and no

Time for your radical marxist
views.

What do you need?

Ok, you and ollie set the table,
have fun, show some flair.

The important thing with this
lunch is that we stay calm.

We focus on getting through it
together and that we're kind,

Ok?

Where does rabbit come?

Ollie.

Do you guys have a favourite
birthday you've had?

Basically, it's--

This looks like fucking shit.

Looks like a child set it.

Did a child come in and set that
table?

No.

Oh, the knives and forks are the
wrong way round.

[laughter]

Is it opposite day?

I didn't know it was opposite
day.

Should we sit on the ceiling and
drink from our plates and just

Eat from our cups?

What is happening here?

[birds chirping]

No one was gonna mention it was
opposite day?

- It's not opposite day.
- So that means it is.

? ?

[gasps]

Do you wanna ruin your appetite?

[grunt]

No, no, no, raymond, no.

Five second rule.

She's being frankly cruel.

And, you know, I think I saw her
sip from the soup and then put

The spoon straight back in.

That shit is not sanitary.

- Way.
- Way.

Anyone for sparkly water?

[all] way.

? ?

[chatter]

Some people choose not to.

Hello, shalom, tina koto
and assalamu alaikum.

For today's lunch, I'm trying
something a little different.

Tradition is so traditional, but
what if we could stick to the

Rules while also not doing that?

I mean, the meal is kosher
fully,

It's just I'm trying out
something a bit experimental,

If that makes sense.

- She's bumming.
- Shut the fuck up.

Jews don't eat dairy after
consuming meat,

But dairy desserts are the best
desserts, am I right?

Preach.

So today I'm debuting the
backwards meal.

So it was opposite day.

We begin with mousse.

Is this bad?

Like, is this just so psycho?

I feel like we
should rain check.

I'm gonna try this again another
time.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

So we start with dessert.

We move on to the meat main and
then finish with what, starters?

I love it.

Play on.

- [laughter]
- ? ?

Ok.

? ?

Thank you.

? ?

This energy she's got, I love
it.

She'll make a fine yiddishian
mama yet.

Raymond, you won't have room
because of that cheese stick

You ate.

- I have room.
- No, no, no.

Ollie, will you lead us in the
baraka for chocolate, please?

[speaking in yiddish]

- Very, very good.
- Amen.

- Amen.
- Amen.

Amen.

? ?

Lou, this is delicious.

Yum.

Don't, it's disgusting.

You guys hate it.

I'm gonna go spend some time on
the toilet.

[baby crying]

I should go up, shouldn't I?

Karen says that if you let them
cry it out,

They'll end up addicted to
drugs.

But I also read that if you go
in too fast,

They don't learn to self soothe,
get depressed,

And end up addicted to drugs.

So--

I believe there's a middle
ground.

Things you can do in between
rushing in to soothe and leaving

Him to cry.

[baby crying]

This isn't in any of the books,
but sometimes when he's upset,

He likes it when I put on fox
news.

I'm I making him racist?

Maybe, but at least he'll be a
racist quietly.

[baby crying]

[laughter]

If noah likes fox, give him fox.

You're doing great at this bit,
really.

You're a wonderful mother.

[baby crying]

Aww.

[door opening]

[baby crying]

Do you want him to end up on
fucking myth?

[baby crying]

Jesus christ.

[stomping]

[baby crying]

? ?

The craz thing that happened
on tour easy, easy.

I was doing gig, the run rabbi,
and I was attacked by the

Macaque snow monkeys of
jigokundani.

[laughter]

The--the ones in the hot
springs?

Yeah, the ones that look like
little old men.

- [laughter]
- a macaque attack?

- [laughter]
- that's true.

Anyway--

No, no, no, no, you don't have
to do that.

The girls will do that.

Anyway, I was jamming it out on
stage big time and I hear

The elder macaque snarl as he
snuck up on to me and he sunk

His teeth into--

Pardon me, rabbi, to the girls
will do it?

Yeah, can you explain that one
cause that was a very--

Ok, we're gonna--

[nervous laughter]

? ?

--Into my balls.

It bit my nuts.

Surely we are not gonna let that
fly.

No, I know that was fucked, ok.

It was.

But our whole future is in that
guy's hands.

It was like, that was like
mythical levels of misogyny.

It's like god tear douchery.

I don't think he meant it that
way.

Right?

Like in--in a jewish household,
a woman rules the roost

And feeds her family.

You know, it's like, kind of,
her territory.

This--and I honestly, it's kind
of built into the culture.

Ok, then fuck the culture.

No, no, no, no, lou, as somebody
who does not participate

In her culture because of said
misogyny,

I can kind of say that.

Sina, please stop making this
about you.

I--I really need your support
right now.

Support?

I spent the entire day covering
this whole house in fucking

Tin foil.

I read a whole book on how to be
kosher.

So no, lou, how many books have
you ever read for me?

- I read that--
- none.

I went along with this lunch.

I--I support you 100%.

But like, what that guy just
said goes against your morals.

- It's not that serious, sina.
- Really?

Like, if ollie and I we're doing
this for real,

Okay, I'd be pissed.

But we're basically just like
cosplaying orthodoxy in order

To get through this.

You know, there's a performance
to this.

That's what you don't get.

Like--

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know
you're--you're putting on the

Ritz for the rabbis, and then
once it's all said and done--

We'll go back to normal.

Yes, I promise.

Yeah, that's fucked.

That is so not cool.

That's so, like, disingenuous.

Oh my god, it is.

It's slippery up there on your
soapbox?

Like, you know, like, are
you--are you getting cellphone

Reception on your high-ass
horse?

Lou, you might not be taking
this seriously,

But ollie clearly is.

He is getting the fucking snip
for you.

- I know.
- Ok, you know.

Well then, if you're not into
this religion's whole vibe,

You need to go out there and
fucking say something

Like now.

Sina, take your foot off the
cunt pedal for one second.

? ?

[chatter]

This isn't you.

[laughter]

? ?

- How did this begin?
- At the bris.

Bridget put him into the--the
magic hold.

And how many times has she been
here?

A couple.

Maybe like three or four.

Six, she's been here six times.

So how does it work?

Every time I leave, you just
bring in this secret fake

Grandmother like some sort of
sick fuss?

- I didn't say she was fake.
- What?

I just meant that technically
she is a grandma too.

Argh.

We're not trying to replace you.

It's just, you know, it--it
takes a village.

I am not gonna stand here and
play chinese checkers

With that woman.

It's just checkers.

And I don't need someone cucking
me in my own child's house.

I need her.

I--I need all of the help that I
can get.

Sh--she's nice to me and she
likes my cooking and she tells

Me that I look nice even when I
know that I look like shit.

It's just--it's been really hard
without my parents here.

But I'm here.

I don't need you to be here.

I need you to help.

And every time you--you come
over unannounced and you

Undermine all of our choices.

We become less and less
confident parents.

Well, bridget has helped me in a
way that you so far have not

Been able to.

You have gone behind my back and
you've insulted me.

You have actually betrayed me.

Please.

When leo gets back, you tell him
that I won't be getting in your

Way anymore.

[stomping]

And I'm taking this with me.

[stomping]

[door opens]

And the charger.

[door slams shut]

- [laughter]
- [chatter]

? ?

[chatter]

- You ok?
- I'm fine.

? ?

You should be really proud.

? ?

This way.

? ?

I'm just tired.

? ?

Your phone's on 2%.
No wonder you're tired.

I'll do the dishes.

Go and charge it.

- Oh my god.
- Stat.

[footsteps]

[birds chirping]

[birds chirping]

? [church bells ringing] ?

Well, you either die a hero or
you live long enough

To become your grandmother.

Well, not exactly, but yes,
there are some--

[door slams]

Huh, jason bieber's back, and
he's got a lot to say

About marriage.

[footsteps]

Karen?

[slamming]

[stomping]

[door slams]

Honey?

? ?

[knocking]

? ?

Can I come say sorry?

? ?

? ?

You're right, this isn't me.

? try to fall back in love

? before we come back up

? for air

? ?

? for air

? ?

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