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1
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,434
Nothing?
2
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,980
♪ It's true ♪
3
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:26,067
♪ The marriage that we
once had now is through ♪
4
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:30,321
♪ And now we're doing
all that we can do ♪
5
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:34,701
♪ To keep us all
together as a crew ♪
6
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:38,496
♪ Just do as we
say, not as we do ♪
7
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:42,500
♪ We really thought
that we were done ♪
8
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:45,128
♪ But we've just begun ♪
9
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,232
Has anybody heard
from your mother?
10
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:49,174
- Nope.
- I've not.
11
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,675
Hmm.
12
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,736
I gotta get to the Sons
of Liberty reenactment.
13
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,136
I can't be late.
14
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:56,639
As you may have deduced,
the redcoats are coming.
15
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,100
Something tells me
it'll all be OK.
16
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,228
If Paul Revere doesn't ride,
the entire course of history
17
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,688
could be changed.
18
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,730
By breakfast, we could all
be subjects of the king.
19
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,610
I'll take my chances.
20
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,904
Um, what did you do with
my whale oil lantern?
21
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,030
Oh, sorry.
22
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,312
It's recharging in the hallway.
23
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,951
Seriously, how do I look?
24
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,661
Devastating.
25
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:21,956
Betsy Ross is going to go
all wobbly in her petticoats.
26
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,500
She isn't Betsy Ross yet.
27
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,919
She's still Betsy Griscom,
single and available.
28
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,605
And last week at
rehearsal, I couldn't tell
29
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,464
if she was flirting
with me or Ben Franklin.
30
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,092
Just ask her for her number.
31
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:35,178
Yes, as they would have in 1775.
32
00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:38,264
Oh, I know what this is.
33
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,599
You're upset that I'm dating.
34
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:42,519
Dad, I'm thrilled that
you're trying to date.
35
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:44,938
Good.
36
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:46,356
I'm glad.
37
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,525
I might have suggested
a clever online profile
38
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:51,319
or an appealing photo
or two, but whatever.
39
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,822
If you're more comfortable
with cosplay, God bless.
40
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,574
Thanks.
41
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,451
Your opinion means a lot to me.
42
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,121
Truth is, dating gets
harder the older you get.
43
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,080
Oh, it's never easy.
44
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,623
Trust me.
45
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,710
I do not want to know
why you just said that.
46
00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:08,471
All right, Dad, I
turned off the Bluetooth
47
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,672
on your whale-oil lantern
so it doesn't start
48
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:11,798
playing Lil Nas X.
49
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,135
See? You get it.
50
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:18,304
Verisimilitude is the backbone
of historical fiction.
51
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,890
My DNA is strong with this one.
52
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,893
Great news.
53
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,645
Well, I'm going
to grab my musket,
54
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:29,441
and then it's time to throw
off the yoke of tyranny.
55
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,151
Taxation without representation?
56
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,944
I don't think so.
57
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,572
Can I rely on you to man the
fort, General Washington?
58
00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:36,614
Man it?
59
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:37,490
No.
60
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,783
But I can woman it.
61
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,826
Even better.
62
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,703
Woman it, then, please.
63
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,503
I'm not even going to ask.
64
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,341
I am looking at you...
65
00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:04,225
Telling myself "I can get
through this" without asking.
66
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,227
It's not going to be easy.
67
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,689
Finished?
68
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:13,276
Hold on.
69
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,528
OK.
70
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,381
- Where's Julia?
- Oh, she had a work emergency.
71
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:18,424
What kind of work emergency?
72
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,633
She didn't say,
and I didn't ask.
73
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:20,658
Why not?
74
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,078
Because she texted, "Don't ask."
75
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,413
Your marriage just might work.
76
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,015
But listen, I gotta
head out, 'cause...
77
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,375
No, no, no, no, no.
78
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,126
Don't tell me.
79
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:34,756
'Cause whatever it is, it won't
be as good as my imagination.
80
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,341
- Hey, Trey.
- Hey, Gracie.
81
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,717
What's up?
82
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,070
- Dad, can I have a sleepover?
- Ooh.
83
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,095
I'm off duty.
84
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,638
That's up to your mom.
85
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,948
Oh, I texted her, but her
"do not disturb" is on.
86
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,391
That's OK.
87
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,868
Your mom's entrusted
full responsibility
88
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,560
until she arrives to me.
89
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,648
So as your future stepdad, I
say, commence the sleepover.
90
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,691
Yay!
91
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,234
Thank you, Trey.
92
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,112
Sleepovers are the best.
93
00:03:57,153 --> 00:04:00,740
Bold move agreeing to a
sleepover without any data.
94
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,784
You don't know how
many kids are coming.
95
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,077
You don't know what parents...
96
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,137
Uh, Grace, I need some data.
97
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,871
How many kids are coming?
98
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,540
Just Katie.
99
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:09,934
The Katie I brought to your
suite at the Lakers game.
100
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,001
Oh, I love that Katie.
101
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,711
- Do you know that Katie, Jim?
- I do.
102
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,438
She's Grace's best friend
since kindergarten.
103
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,507
I've met her,
conservatively, 9,000 times.
104
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:23,263
Hey, Paul, don't you have
a midnight ride to get to?
105
00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:24,264
Oh, my god!
106
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,099
Paul Revere!
107
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,769
Thank God.
108
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,372
I was about to ask for
some Crunch Berries.
109
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:37,277
Aye, aye, Captain.
110
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,532
Mr. Kearney, should be
feeling the sedative
111
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:43,950
take effect in a few minutes.
112
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,244
Just lie back and relax.
113
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,788
Julia, this is an incredibly
nice thing you're doing
114
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,016
for your former father-in-law.
115
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,332
Oh.
116
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,751
I may be divorced from your son,
117
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,586
but you'll be my kids'
grandpa for life,
118
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:58,089
helping them, spoiling them,
losing them in a crowd.
119
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:04,679
Hampton Beach is a
very complicated beach.
120
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,766
You know, thanks for keeping
it a secret from Jim.
121
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,019
If he ever heard I had a kidney
stone, he'd be worried sick.
122
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,520
He loves you very much.
123
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,980
I blame myself.
124
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,232
Once when he was a kid,
I pretended I was dead
125
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:19,235
for the entire afternoon.
126
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:23,114
Best nap I ever had.
127
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,408
Drug's kicking in, Bobby?
128
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,951
Oh, yeah.
129
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,162
I can't believe I
ever judged junkies.
130
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,831
They're on to something.
131
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:36,834
Okey do key.
132
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,065
I hope Julia's emergency
is short-lived.
133
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,966
Oh, and I've gotta hit the,
uh, little patriots room.
134
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,009
Then I will be on my way.
135
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,094
But you got this.
136
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,095
OK.
137
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:49,140
Ooh.
138
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,394
Hey, Katie. What's up?
139
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,895
- Hi.
- Trey Taylor, remember?
140
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,147
Is Grace here?
141
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,607
Hey, Katie. How's it...
142
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,025
Hi, Mr. Kearney.
143
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,110
Katie?
144
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,153
What did you guys say to her?
145
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,072
Both: Nothing.
146
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,449
Derek just dumped me.
147
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,492
OK.
148
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,285
OK, let's go to the kitchen.
149
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,917
Sleepovers are the best.
150
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,382
Feeling any better now, Robert?
151
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:23,883
Flying high, Doc.
152
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,511
So to view the kidney
stones, we will insert
153
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,097
a camera into your urethra.
154
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,807
Perfect.
155
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,684
In my 40 years, this
is the first time
156
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,436
I have gotten that reaction.
157
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,315
Camera in my urethra.
158
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,567
Simple in and out.
159
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,028
Lickety-split.
160
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:46,197
Bobby, do you know
what the urethra is?
161
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,533
I don't.
162
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,828
But the doctor was wearing
a Rolex, so he must.
163
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,540
The urethra is the tube
that runs from your bladder
164
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,793
to the tip of your... device.
165
00:06:58,835 --> 00:06:59,669
Device?
166
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,380
What, like my iPhone?
167
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,342
No, the tip of
your... your unit.
168
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,718
Unit?
169
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,428
Your device, your
unit, your member?
170
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,512
I'm sorry.
171
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,972
I was never good at "Pyramid."
172
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,850
Your penis?
173
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,018
My penis?
174
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,187
What the hell's he
doing down there?
175
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,814
It's a kidney stone,
not a penis stone.
176
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,443
Tell that butcher he's
gotta find another way in!
177
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,569
They're all set for you.
178
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,655
You guys are barbarians!
179
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,157
We may need a minute.
180
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,037
Hey-hey, Revere.
181
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,081
Where's your outfit?
182
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,248
I texted my understudy.
183
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,291
He's going to go on.
184
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,001
But it's gonna be a disaster.
185
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,545
He knows nothing about
being a silversmith.
186
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,757
Or the needs of a
woman like Betsy Ross.
187
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,425
But I cannot leave you alone.
188
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,486
What are you talking about?
189
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,719
I can handle a sleepover.
190
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,888
You yourself said I got this.
191
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,264
Me got this.
192
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,599
I said you got that.
193
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,701
Now there's a crying
girl involved.
194
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,185
You do not got this.
195
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,561
So you got this?
196
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,271
I got this more
than you got this.
197
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,314
Show me what you got.
198
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,857
What are you going to do?
199
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,235
Nothing.
200
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,156
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I
could've done nothing.
201
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,655
Mm.
202
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,615
But could you do nothing
in a strategic manner?
203
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,283
These are young adult women
204
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,952
people.
205
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:17,288
So we're going to let them
work it out while we monitor.
206
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,873
We're going to spy on them?
207
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:22,752
I prefer the term
"compassionate surveillance."
208
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,504
I look terrible.
209
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,297
No, you look so beautiful.
210
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,674
No, I'm hideous.
211
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:28,800
It's not true.
212
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,552
You are such a pretty crier.
213
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,722
Thank you.
214
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,473
And Derek doesn't
know what he's doing.
215
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,975
He does.
216
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:40,353
His last text was, "I
know what I'm doing."
217
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,272
Why are boys so stupid?
218
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,025
The universe made them
that way to train us.
219
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,943
It did?
220
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,278
Yes.
221
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,989
It's trying to build our
resilience by preparing us
222
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,074
for all the dumb stuff
that men are going to do
223
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,826
when we get older.
224
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,620
Oh, my god, she's right.
225
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,330
You gotta help me
win him back, Grace.
226
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,665
No.
227
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,583
That will only
make you look weak.
228
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,251
But I am weak.
229
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,294
That's not true.
230
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,503
You're stronger than him.
231
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,422
If I'm strong, why am I crying?
232
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,424
Because strong
people have to cry.
233
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,718
Because cr... crying is brave.
234
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,595
Since when?
235
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,156
Since always, but no
one's ever told us.
236
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,432
So I'm telling you
that you are very
237
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,683
strong to show your emotions.
238
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,727
Hmm. I need to lay down.
239
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:27,192
Uh, I believe these are
indigenous to South America.
240
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,610
Really?
241
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,571
I don't know what
you're talking about.
242
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,910
OK, if we're going to surveil
together, you better get wise.
243
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,412
If and when our cover is
blown, whatever I say,
244
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,538
you have to go along with.
245
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,833
The rule is "yes, and."
246
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,543
You can't say,
"Uh, I have no idea
247
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,711
what you're talking about."
248
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,546
That's how people get killed.
249
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,757
Got it. Learning as I go.
250
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,720
What the hell is that?
It looks like a boy.
251
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:56,971
Did you put him out there?
252
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,808
Did I put a boy on a balcony?
253
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,226
What kind of question is that?
254
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,770
I've been standing
right here next to you.
255
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,231
Hi, Mr. Kearney.
256
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,392
Um, Derek, this is Trey Taylor.
257
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:14,823
Of course.
258
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,199
Hello, Mr. Taylor.
259
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,283
Go, Celts.
260
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,368
Thank you.
261
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:21,246
Always nice to meet a fan.
262
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,707
Easy, Sinatra.
263
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,166
How did you get up here?
264
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,061
I took the elevator to
the roof of the building
265
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,503
next door.
266
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,314
Then I parkoured from the
roof over there to your roof.
267
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:33,591
Then I came down the fire
escape to your apartment.
268
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:37,053
When you say you parkoured...
269
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,221
I vaulted.
270
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,098
You vaulted?
271
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,058
No Ring cameras out there, Jim?
272
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,786
No, Trey, there's no
Ring cameras out there.
273
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,186
This is the first
time Spider-Man
274
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,564
has paid us a visit.
275
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,982
Is Grace home?
276
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,150
Oh.
277
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,027
Is that all you
wanted to find out?
278
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,713
Seems like an answer you could
have got without free-soloing
279
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,822
down our building.
280
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,533
I can't text her,
because I skipped out on
281
00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,802
my National Honor
Society meeting
282
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,578
and left my phone in the bushes,
283
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,788
so if my parents look
me up on Life360,
284
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,182
they'll still think
I'm at the school.
285
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,207
Mm.
286
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,043
Well, thank you for being honest
287
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,961
about your dishonesty, Derek.
288
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,213
- Derek, what...
- what are you doing here?
289
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,049
Grace, can I talk
to you in private?
290
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,133
Why?
291
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,444
So I won't tell
Katie that you're
292
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:17,570
a careless, mean, stupid boy?
293
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:18,887
Too late.
294
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,388
I didn't say or
do anything mean.
295
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,116
I tried to just be
honest about what I felt.
296
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,309
- Honesty.
- Yeah, that's always the excuse.
297
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,539
Do I really gotta
talk to you about this
298
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,523
in front of your dad and
the owner of the Celtics?
299
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:36,738
- Yes, actually.
- Bet your little tushy.
300
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,991
Dad, Trey, could you... could
you give us a moment, please?
301
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,326
- Oh.
- Yeah, sure.
302
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,845
Yeah, it's, uh... it's
important to respect,
303
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,162
uh, your space.
304
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,624
Give the privacy
that you deserve.
305
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,834
Derek, what is going on?
306
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:53,338
I broke up with Katie,
because I'm in love with you.
307
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,298
Wait. What?
308
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,817
I broke up with
Katie, because I'm...
309
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,802
No, don't say it again.
310
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,279
I've felt this way
since the fifth grade,
311
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:04,057
and I've never had the
guts to say it till now.
312
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:06,685
Thanks for hearing me say it.
313
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,687
I need to go before
I get grounded.
314
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,572
Uh, right here.
315
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:20,907
See?
316
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,827
Um, it says "refrigerate
after opening."
317
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,704
Yes, and?
318
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,458
Wh-wh-what else
does it say, Jim?
319
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:37,465
"Use by October 12th."
320
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,235
Trey, could you get
Jimmy to distract Katie
321
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,343
for a few minutes?
322
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,553
Absolutely.
323
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,263
You got this.
324
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,602
Bobby? Open up.
325
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,939
I won't! I won't! I won't!
326
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:55,483
If your dad thinks urethral
entry is scary now,
327
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:58,069
wait till the drugs wear off.
328
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,698
Uh, he does think it's
scary, and he's not my dad.
329
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:05,285
And I can think of many
other places I'd rather be.
330
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:09,164
Thousands and thousands and
millions of other sentences
331
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,666
I'd rather be speaking than,
"Your dink is not in danger!"
332
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,963
Dad, I need your advice.
333
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,424
Derek has been, like,
the coolest guy ever
334
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,675
since seventh grade.
335
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,510
Every girl in school
has had a crush on him.
336
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:25,722
He's good at baseball,
basketball, soccer.
337
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,098
He's smart.
338
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,600
Eh...
339
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,101
Well... and here's the problem.
340
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,396
He said he likes me, and
that's why he came here.
341
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:37,901
And my head is spinning, 'cause
the most popular guy in Boston
342
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,402
just said he likes me.
343
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:40,695
Mm.
344
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,197
Tom Brady is kind of popular.
345
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,158
Dad.
346
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,911
And you think you
might like Derek back?
347
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,579
Well, you've met him.
348
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:52,290
Wouldn't you?
349
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,792
Huh.
350
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,834
Huh.
351
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,252
Hmm.
352
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,772
Isn't this a nice
night for your mother
353
00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:00,674
to have a work emergency?
354
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,473
You know what, Bobby?
355
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,393
I regret coming here.
356
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,769
Why?
357
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:14,604
Because you obviously
don't really
358
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:15,855
think that highly of me.
359
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,565
Of course I do.
360
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,919
No, you don't, because if you
did, you'd take my counsel.
361
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:21,486
My dad's stubborn like yours.
362
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,155
He's not my dad.
363
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,324
I help people in crisis, Bobby.
364
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,410
People pay me to
help them when they
365
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,762
are not thinking
straight, as you
366
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,162
are not thinking straight now.
367
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,457
And while I don't want and
would never accept a penny
368
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,459
from you, I would
appreciate the courtesy
369
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:37,812
of you considering
what I have to say,
370
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,129
because I'm about to snap.
371
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:44,175
I promise you, they do far
worse things every year
372
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,345
at the OB/GYN, and you don't
hear a word of complaint.
373
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,389
You wouldn't last 10
minutes as a woman.
374
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:52,434
None of you would.
375
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:55,478
So I want you to open that door,
376
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,315
suck it up, and spread your
urethra to the sunshine.
377
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,112
Well, when you put
it like that...
378
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,451
Gracie, we're kind of
crossing the Rubicon here,
379
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,453
aren't we?
380
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,455
I don't understand.
381
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,622
Um, Caesar.
382
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:15,999
Uh, Julius Caesar.
383
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:19,085
There was a river,
and once he crossed it
384
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,380
look, all right, this
whole teenage romance thing
385
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,923
is not usually my
area of expertise.
386
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,925
Mine, either.
387
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,136
OK, but if I were to
take a stab at it,
388
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:30,930
um, I think one thing
I would say is that, um
389
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,474
one thing you should
be aware of, uh,
390
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:37,979
is that deep down, uh, all
of us are awful people.
391
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,397
- Dad.
- No, no, no.
392
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,024
Seriously, I've
been working my way
393
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,752
through this observation
ever since I was
394
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:43,836
well, ever since I was your age.
395
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:47,238
Um, people are... are awful.
396
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,740
Awful.
397
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,659
I think that's why someone
a long, long time ago,
398
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,704
uh, came up with the whole
concept of what we call values
399
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,749
to make us think deeply
about the consequences
400
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,669
of our being awful.
401
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,339
Values ask us to pause, uh,
before taking a flamethrower
402
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:07,550
to our happiness, to not do
selfish, impulsive things,
403
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,511
even though selfish,
impulsive choices
404
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,012
sometimes feel fantastic.
405
00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:12,222
- They really do.
- Yes.
406
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:13,807
I know. I know.
407
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:15,284
Whenever I get the
urge to do something
408
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,310
selfish and impulsive,
I get all tingly inside.
409
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,604
I... I feel incredibly alive.
410
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,482
And for whatever reasons...
none that make any sense
411
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,818
we're made to... to
feel these drives
412
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,195
and emotions and
feelings that do not
413
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:30,448
serve us in any way other
than to mess up our lives.
414
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:34,744
I hate how we're made.
415
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,788
And it's not all the time,
416
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,540
but right now, uh, what happened
417
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:42,127
with Derek, an emotional,
impulsive, selfish boy...
418
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,505
He's so special.
419
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:50,218
Uh, Grace, I was
eavesdropping on your talk
420
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,720
- with Katie.
- Dad, no.
421
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:52,721
That's so uncool.
422
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:53,763
Why would you do that?
423
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:56,057
Because I'm awful.
424
00:16:56,099 --> 00:17:00,103
I do foolish, ill-advised,
impulsive things,
425
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,480
even though at my age,
I should know better.
426
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,607
When my conscience tells
me, "Hey, hey, Jim,
427
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,027
"don't do that,"
sometimes I actually say,
428
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,255
"Hey, why don't you take a
load off there, Mr. Conscience?
429
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:12,490
Tonight I'm ride or
die with Captain Id."
430
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:16,161
And I regret it almost
every single time.
431
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,663
But... but be that as it may,
432
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:22,375
I was so proud of what you
told Katie to console her.
433
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:25,128
It just... it came
out of you in seconds,
434
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,630
because it's who you are,
435
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,591
a good friend, a good person
436
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:33,428
who now finds herself
possibly smitten
437
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:36,264
with a boy who dumped her friend
438
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,266
and who lies to his parents
439
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:41,186
and who Cirque du Soleil'd
his way onto our balcony
440
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:44,105
just to talk to you.
441
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,526
What would you call
behavior like that?
442
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,527
I don't know.
443
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,863
You tell me, Dad.
444
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:55,325
Maybe it's just the act of
someone who hasn't necessarily
445
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:58,036
thought everything through,
446
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,789
like you might
want to right now.
447
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:03,541
I'm so messed up.
448
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,336
Uh, pivotal moments always
seem to pop up unannounced,
449
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:09,339
like a zit on the
morning of your prom.
450
00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:12,425
You look in the mirror, and
you're like, "Oh, come on."
451
00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:16,638
You're at a crossroad.
452
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,139
Or is it "crossroads"?
453
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:19,516
- It's "crossroads."
- Yeah.
454
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:20,350
Plural.
455
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:21,768
Two roads crossing.
456
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:24,437
You can only take one.
457
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:26,981
I'm going to text Derek and
tell him I'm not interested.
458
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,608
Mm, good choice.
459
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:32,070
Uh, only problem is, he
does not have his phone.
460
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,656
His phone is in a
bush by the school.
461
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:37,450
Oh, so his parents can't
track him on Life360?
462
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:38,326
Smart.
463
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:41,454
I've done that move.
464
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,248
What?
465
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,125
I'm an awful, selfish,
impulsive person
466
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,710
sometimes too.
467
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:49,713
You get that from me.
468
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,464
Should I send it now?
469
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:55,385
Maybe reread whatever you
wrote a couple of times and...
470
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:03,643
He can read it when he
gets back to the bush.
471
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,688
Oh, and I love you.
472
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,857
Beyond love.
473
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,817
I love you too.
474
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:20,452
Hey,
you did got this.
475
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,211
Ohh.
476
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,675
How you feeling, Bobby?
477
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,635
Stones out?
478
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,264
Criminy Dutch!
479
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,974
I had all these
stones inside me?
480
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,059
Mm-hmm.
481
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,518
I'm like a freaking quarry.
482
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,230
Y... you're not going to tell
anyone about this, right?
483
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:50,815
No, because if I do,
484
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,657
they'd know that I lied
about where I've been.
485
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,320
And the kids will know their
grandfather's not the force
486
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,489
of nature they think I am.
487
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,908
But luckily, their mom is.
488
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,576
When I have to be.
489
00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:05,747
Any time you need me to go
with you to the OB/GYN thing,
490
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,332
just say the word.
491
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:08,750
I will never say that word.
492
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,461
Sorry I was such a baby.
493
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:13,213
Ah, you were worse than a baby.
494
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,965
You were a cowardly,
candy-ass infant.
495
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:19,344
Congratulations, Mr. Kearney.
496
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,597
Your urinary tract is
as clear as a bell.
497
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:26,643
Just try not to ring it
for a couple of days.
498
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:27,727
Gotcha.
499
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:28,937
So no "Golden Girls"?
500
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:32,816
That's correct.
501
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,317
And sign this.
502
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,403
And as much as we are
all going to miss him,
503
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,113
your dad will be good to go.
504
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,323
He's not...
505
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,286
Yes, of course.
506
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,458
You know what?
507
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:51,769
Uh, why don't you count
to 50, then come in?
508
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,187
Otherwise, it'll
look too suspicious.
509
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,170
Got it.
510
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,214
OK.
511
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,298
- Hey, hon.
- Hi, Mom.
512
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,426
- Hey.
- Hey, guys.
513
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:02,470
So what'd everyone do tonight?
514
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:05,140
I had a sleepover with Katie.
515
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,474
Does Katie know?
516
00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,600
She crashed early.
517
00:21:07,642 --> 00:21:08,768
Long story.
518
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:11,730
Both: Sleepovers are the best.
519
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,606
Everything OK with
your work emergency?
520
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,900
- Yeah.
- It was good she was there.
521
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,111
I mean, it's always good
when she's anywhere.
522
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,490
- Help us pick a show to watch.
- OK.
523
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:25,035
Anything but "Golden Girls."
524
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,747
- Oh, boy.
- OK.
36301
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