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1
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:13,560
INCHEZ FREESTYLES
2
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,560
And also not safe with the chickens
3
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,240
cos of the conditions
they are reared in,
4
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:23,120
and don't get me started on the
dairy farm. No, that's not calm...
5
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,640
Lau it, Jinx.
Did you hear man ask for an ad-lib?
6
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,320
Disperse!
This is a hip-hop-free zone.
7
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:33,200
I'm sorry, Miss Jackson,
but I am for real.
8
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,880
That pussy can't do nothing!
9
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,880
I'll tell the whole wing
he's a snitch!
10
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:38,520
Grass. Huh?
11
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:40,280
It's grass in the script.
Oh.
12
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,400
I'd say 'snitch'
is more Transatlantic,
13
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,920
but look, other than that, it's
really starting to get there.
14
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,560
Erm, I've copied and pasted enough
school reports to know that
15
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,160
'starting to get there' is just
a polite way of saying I'm shit.
16
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:53,320
No. Warren! I need this.
17
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,840
Me and Billy McCarthy,
18
00:00:54,840 --> 00:01:00,280
one of the toughest inmates in ITV's
gritty new prison drama - Flex.
19
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,920
Watch your language, Mr Carmichael!
20
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,960
Harrison, on me head, you tart!
21
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,360
Mr Harper. Ah!
22
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,680
Your students are out of control.
23
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,320
Out of control?
That was bang on-target.
24
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:13,760
HUBBUB
25
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,120
What was that on the roof?
26
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,680
Er, nothing.
27
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,960
What's the club we've got on there
on a Tuesday morning?
28
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,560
Bird-watching? Yeah,
bird-watching gets proper naughty.
29
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,880
I reckon the geeks are up there
30
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,680
fighting over who gets
the binoculars.
31
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,240
Well, I'll go
and lay down the law and, er,
32
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,640
you go and pop the kettle on.
33
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,440
Do your tie up properly, please.
34
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,320
The usual, sir?
I'll drop it on your tab.
35
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,120
Tab? Do you come here often,
Mr Harper?
36
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,320
Turn off the music!
37
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,960
And what, pray tell, is Pumtang?
38
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,480
It's an energy drink.
39
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:10,440
Ugh! No prizes for guessing how
it got its name.
40
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,400
Reminds me of my college days.
41
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,000
Wow. Why is it being sold in school?
42
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,520
Well, how else am I going to shop
4,000 cases of Pumtang?
43
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,840
This was the best suggestion!
44
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,520
So this is you
laying down the law?
45
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,600
No. I was just trying to encourage
some entrepreneurial spirit.
46
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,960
Miss! I saw an opportunity,
and I took it.
47
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,240
Pumtang is banned
in all EU countries.
48
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,440
It gives you paranoid
hallucinations or some shit.
49
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,520
This is the one benefit of Brexit.
50
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,440
There were plenty
of benefits of Brexit.
51
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,440
Let's all just relax, OK?
52
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:43,080
Those reports about the
hallucinations, that was fake news.
53
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,320
I mean, it happens to, like,
one in a thousand people.
54
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:51,360
Oh, my days! It's the Dotty
Demogorgon from the Upside Down!
55
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,200
It's got the face
of an angry bottle!
56
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,400
Well, there's your one.
57
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,760
Usma, no! Put it down! No, no, no!
58
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:38,120
Miss, you can't take my phone.
What if I had a medical emergency?
59
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,240
And what sort of medical condition
requires you to have an iPhone?
60
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,520
I'm a Gemini. It's very chaotic.
61
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,800
I might need to check
my horoscope at any moment.
62
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,120
Go on.
63
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,800
Yes, book, please.
64
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,200
Ooh! Ooh, what do we have in here?
65
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,000
What do you need all this for?
66
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,280
You think this just happens, Miss?
I've been up since 4am.
67
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,480
We don't choose our battles,
Miss, man. They choose us.
68
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:05,760
Beauty chose me, boy!
69
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,240
After the spectacle you made
of yourself the other day,
70
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,880
I suggest you tread very carefully.
71
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,320
This is a violation, Miss!
An actual violation!
72
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:20,520
I know this is a violation
because I fully feel violated!
73
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,720
Morning. Phone.
74
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,360
But I'm a teacher.
75
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,320
For now, yes.
76
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,400
But you're on your final warning.
Empty your bag!
77
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,880
We're all getting punished
just because Mr Harper
78
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,720
caught Blessing selling her Pumtang!
79
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,840
It's an energy drink!
80
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,840
Sir, I've heard of method acting,
81
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:39,240
but I didn't know you could get
the whole school onboard.
82
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,400
You what?
Well, it's like a prison.
83
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,840
It's perfect for your audition
tape today.
84
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:45,320
You can go full method.
85
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,440
Ah! Spot-on, you little cup!
86
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,400
I think it's 'mug'. Yeah... Mug.
87
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,240
Oi. I need to come correct, Miss.
88
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,720
I got more beefs than Salt Bae.
89
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,520
What? Wait.
90
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,640
How come Warren ain't getting
searched? Yes, Miss.
91
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,800
As a disciplinarianananan,
I do think we should search Warren.
92
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,160
He looks like one of them
quiet kids that no-one remembers
93
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,560
until you're watching
a documentary about him on Netflix.
94
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,040
I do like to keep to myself.
95
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,600
You need to start taking this
job seriously
96
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,120
if you don't want to lose it.
97
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,960
Ah, not so fast, Mr Fraser.
98
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,200
Bend over.
99
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,840
Mm.
100
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,880
Vegetables account
for 70% of food waste.
101
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,240
They are off-menu.
102
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,600
You're still upset, aren't you?
103
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,640
Look, if it's any consolation,
I'm sorry.
104
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,920
I was inspired by what turned
out to be a fictitious
105
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,600
WhatsApp about the giant
lasagne in Wembley Stadium.
106
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,200
We had to cancel the swimming gala.
107
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,760
With all due respect,
if I'd have pulled it off,
108
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,680
my pool-ya-baisse would have been
the stuff of leg-ends.
109
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,800
Keep it cheap and shit it out!
110
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,160
Do I make myself clear?
111
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,800
Sorry, that's a carrot in my pocket.
112
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,160
So, you guys, on behalf
of the class,
113
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,960
until our belongings are returned,
I will be taking a vow of silence.
114
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,600
That's the third time
you've told us.
115
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,040
Yeah, but Jinx is right.
Someone needs to do something.
116
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,200
This is dead.
117
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,880
My career's dead,
and I got a kid on the way.
118
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,680
What can I do to get Hoburn
to respect me?
119
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,160
Your job?
Other than that.
120
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,960
Aren't you supposed to be
with your form for registration?
121
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,960
They're fine.
I set up the baby monitor.
122
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,160
Actually, I'll pop it on mute.
123
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:26,000
OK. It's time to put yourself into
the body of a hardened criminal.
124
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,720
Ha-ha! Don't say it. Resist.
125
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,040
HE TUTS
126
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,800
Goodbye, flamboyant drama teacher.
127
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:37,480
Hello, knuckle-dusting gangbanger
with a penchant for spice.
128
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,400
Sit your nut down, son!
129
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,440
You filthy...
130
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,600
..whining...
131
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,160
..slags!
WHISPERS: Wow.
132
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,520
This is my wing.
133
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,640
You ain't nothing but scum.
134
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:55,680
Sit down!
135
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,800
Mr Carmichael - exemplary.
136
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,160
Keep up the good work!
137
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,320
Cute.
138
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,840
If she wants hard men,
I'll give her hard men.
139
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,840
Miss Hoburn, great work
this morning.
140
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,560
It is exactly what this
absolute scum need.
141
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,520
Scum? You don't mean our students?
142
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,440
Yeah, but Mr Carmichael said...
143
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,840
How can I help you?
144
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,920
Actually, it's how I can help you.
What, by taking registration?
145
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,400
Nah, better than that.
146
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,640
Prison for kids.
147
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,640
Mr Harper, this may be your alma
mater but I don't owe you a living.
148
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,720
Miss, just give me
a chance to turn this...
149
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,040
..this place around.
150
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,800
Discipline is our number-one problem
and I am your number-one guy.
151
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,960
Some old, erm, colleagues of mine,
152
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,400
they run this prison programme
for kids.
153
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,080
Basically, they scare
the hell out of 'em
154
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,120
and they never put a foot wrong
again. Hmm...
155
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,640
You can thank me later.
156
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,120
Or fire you.
Ha-ha! Yeah!
157
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,800
Ha-ha!
158
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,160
Oi, oi!
159
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,400
Lenny!
160
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,280
Look at you, Mr Teacher, sir!
161
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:11,000
You seem to be on very familiar
terms with this gentleman.
162
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,720
Well, you know what they say -
163
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,400
nothing bonds two men
like shitting in the same cell.
164
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,520
Yep. I can imagine that is true.
165
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:18,960
Smeeks, ma'am. Prison officer.
166
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,600
Don't I recognise
you from somewhere?
167
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,120
I don't think so.
168
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,960
Feltham? Cookham Wood? Park?
Werrington? Wetherby?
169
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,280
What are those places?
170
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,920
Young Offenders...
Teacher training institutes.
171
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:31,320
Mm.
172
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,400
So, what have you
got in store for us?
173
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,640
Reality.
174
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,520
Big old dose of where life
can take 'em.
175
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,080
No sugar coating.
176
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,160
I am so thankful to my lord
and saviour Jesus Christ
177
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,600
for turning me life around.
178
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,200
HE SNIGGERS AND LAUGHS
179
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,280
Always a joker!
180
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,320
Oh, you're serious.
181
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,160
Yeah. That's why I've committed
my life to saving kids.
182
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,320
And you?
I like scaring the little bastards.
183
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,360
Excellent.
184
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,280
I'll leave you to it.
185
00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,880
Nice.
186
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:19,480
Ah, the old eagle's nest.
187
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,480
You're not getting
your aubergines back.
188
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,200
Hey, these fluffy white bao
have sat in that throne
189
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,000
and I would never question
its authority.
190
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,720
However, and I know you don't
like my big ideas, but...
191
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,640
..prison food.
192
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,920
What do you know about prison food?
193
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,480
Thailand - one-week stretch,
drugs mule.
194
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,320
Innocent, of course, but the stench,
the survival techniques,
195
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,320
the conversion to Islam,
that's for life.
196
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,920
Shaquille, time is money.
Permission to serve gruel.
197
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,560
Wholesale price 79p.
198
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,000
Per head?
Per school.
199
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,920
Done. For dessert, I'm thinking
cupcakes with keys baked in.
200
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,680
Also, an amuse-bouche
served on little Rizlas.
201
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,400
No. No, no, no, no, no.
202
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,040
No gimmicks, no flourishes and,
above all,
203
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,960
no waste. Copy that.
204
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,520
In total, I served four-and-a-half
years for armed robbery.
205
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,760
Hoo-hoo! Bad man.
206
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,960
In prison, I was going down
a very dark path.
207
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,000
Addiction, violence,
208
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
losing friends and family.
209
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,760
You can't show any sign of weakness.
210
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,960
I once shanked someone
for taking me lunch.
211
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:28,200
THEY LAUGH AND CHEER
212
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,840
Then, then, then...
213
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,360
I ended up losing my eye.
214
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,320
This is prosthetic.
215
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,160
ALL: Show us! Show us! Show us!
216
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:45,120
THEY GROAN AND LAUGH
217
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,400
It looks like a boiled egg.
218
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,120
OK, thank you everyone.
Settle down, please.
219
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,280
I want you to think about all
the things you would no longer have
220
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,680
if you end up in prison.
221
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:56,280
Homework! School dinners!
Materialism.
222
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,600
Oh, God...
223
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,120
This is awful.
224
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,840
It's more like a recruitment drive
than a deterrent.
225
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:05,040
Keep the faith. The next phase
of the programme has a big impact.
226
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,000
But not every headteacher
has the nuts to go with it.
227
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,160
It's quite radical.
228
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,840
I'm not just any headteacher.
229
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,360
I have a leadership background.
230
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,920
I managed Woolworths, BHS,
Debenham's...
231
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,160
Aren't they all closed down?
232
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,000
They're all online. It's progress.
233
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,600
Now, what are you proposing?
234
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,920
The next stage is where we
confine the pupils.
235
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,120
It's controversial, but we find
by limiting their freedoms...
236
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,840
Someone stick a phone up his arse!
237
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,400
Lock 'em up. All of them.
238
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,680
Yeah, right and all.
Staff too.
239
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,240
What?!
240
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:41,960
Oh, come on, mortgage eyes!
241
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,080
You're not really going to lock me
up, are you?
242
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,320
Mortgage eyes?
243
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,720
One's fixed, one's variable.
244
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,040
Your little experiment
ain't going to break me.
245
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,240
My mind is a fortress.
246
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,160
Blessing,
you're just coming off the Pumtang.
247
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:55,520
That stuff is haram.
248
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:56,880
Your face is haram.
249
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,920
This is some proper
mind control ting.
250
00:11:58,920 --> 00:11:59,960
Watched on YouTube.
251
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,360
Please, don't mention social media!
252
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,040
It's been over an hour
without my phone.
253
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,440
Can FOMO be terminal?
254
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,080
I know all about this shiz.
255
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,960
My old man's been in
and out of prison.
256
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,080
Your dad's a bishop.
257
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,880
He's probably just been
doing visits.
258
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,120
Yeah, that's what
he wants man to think.
259
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,280
He's undercover sneaking into the
clink for badman shenanigans.
260
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,000
It's true you know. Inchez told me
his dad's actually a prostitute.
261
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,680
What? I said he was a Protestant!
262
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:30,200
Does the bishop do funerals?
Cos Harrison just killed you, bruv.
263
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,160
THEY LAUGH
264
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,000
Oh, thank God for that.
265
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,320
I don't believe this.
266
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:53,040
Man, this is long!
We've been in here for time!
267
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:56,560
Inchez, you're meant to cross off
the days, not the minutes.
268
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,600
Yeah, I knew that.
269
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,320
They're watching us!
Oh, my God, can you smell food?
270
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,600
Oh, I'm starving.
271
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,960
Bruv, that's Fraser's cooking.
272
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,320
Oh, I know. Yum!
273
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,880
These four walls have really got
to your small, small head.
274
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,120
They haven't got to me,
thank you very much.
275
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,600
You literally have a pet
bird in a shoe box.
276
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,480
Oh, cute! You whittled a horsie!
277
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,520
You lot are all playing
into their hands!
278
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:25,800
Look at Usma.
279
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,360
She is broken.
280
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,880
Ah, broken.
281
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,560
I'm a lifer with no
chance of parole.
282
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,720
She's just uncontoured.
283
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,080
I'm not sure Billy "The Bollocks"
McCarthy knows about contouring.
284
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,480
You just leave it to Billy to worry
about what Billy do or don't know,
285
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,680
you hear me, you little scrote?
286
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:47,320
Better. Much better.
Yeah, that's great.
287
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:48,960
Ha-ha! Whoo...
288
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,360
Relax, all right?
289
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,920
We've just got to sit tight
and let Hoburn think we've changed.
290
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,200
No more confiscations
and I'll be in her good books.
291
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:59,120
You lot are pathetic!
Can't handle a bit of bird, hmm?
292
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,040
Stretch like this...
293
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,760
..I can do standing on me head.
294
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,520
Is he going to be like this all day?
295
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,320
Just until he's
done his audition tape.
296
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,400
How's he going to do that
without a phone?
297
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,080
Let me ooout!
298
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,880
Mr Flint?
299
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,560
Ah! Miss Hoburn!
300
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,840
So far, so good!
301
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,280
Well, I could certainly
get used to this quiet.
302
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,280
How long do you plan
to keep them locked up?
303
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,160
Well, erm,
how long's a piece of string?
304
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:45,720
Well, a typical spool of thread
can be between 600 and 1,400 yards.
305
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,400
I kept a close eye on that.
306
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,960
Fast fashion workers
are so untrustworthy.
307
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,200
But that's kids for you.
308
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,240
SHE LAUGHS
309
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:57,360
HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
310
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,160
But string - well, I suppose that
depends on the string.
311
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,000
Exactly.
312
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,880
Wow, OK.
313
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,000
It all depends.
314
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,040
Genius.
315
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,560
I do hate to see him like this.
316
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,720
Oh, lau him man!
I prefer him like that.
317
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,960
It's not as if there's
anything you can do, is there?
318
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,600
Well, I could lend him my phone.
What? You have a phone? How?
319
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,040
What? My nana sewed it
to my blazer for emergency purposes.
320
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,320
I haven't been on Instagram
for three hours.
321
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,640
This is an emergency!
322
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,360
Oi, Warren, give me the phone!
323
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,360
I'ma call the feds,
I'ma bust us out of here!
324
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,000
And say what? We're at school.
325
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,720
Let me have the phone, Warren G.
326
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,640
I need to spit some bars
for my YouTube channel.
327
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,200
I've got a new tune brewing!
Nah, man!
328
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,120
I need to upload a natural skincare
tutorial, show my bare face.
329
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,960
I'll pretend it's for charity
or some shit.
330
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,120
All right, all right.
Everyone needs to cool down.
331
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,080
Yeah, you guys. Help me embrace our
freedom from the prison
332
00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,680
of algorithms and echo chambers.
333
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,360
I'm using my incarceration
to journal my experience
334
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,560
of being persecuted. What are you
going to do with that?
335
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,960
Upload it onto Reddit.
336
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,720
WHISPERS: Oh, wait...
337
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:14,760
THEY SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER
338
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,080
WHISTLE BLOWS
339
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,640
Children! Could we try
talking to each other
340
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,360
with a bit of respect, please?
341
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,120
Thank you.
Oi! Hand it over, you slag!
342
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,360
Sir! You know what,
maybe Blessing is right.
343
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,960
Prison is changing you.
I'm the daddy of this wing.
344
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,280
OK, Daddy,
but Warren has the only phone, sir.
345
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,520
What's it worth?
346
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,400
Freeze!
347
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,880
What are you doing?
348
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,080
Bend from the knees
when lifting heavy objects.
349
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,480
Health and safety 101.
350
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,840
Avoid the three Hs - hernias,
hip replacements and haemorrhoids.
351
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,600
Ah...
352
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,440
Oh. Cheers.
353
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,880
It'll cost you a free snout!
354
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,440
Nah, I don't smoke.
355
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,400
Hey...
356
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,440
An old colleague from here
ended up in the pokey.
357
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,320
Ever come across Mr du Plessis,
PE teacher?
358
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,720
Did a five stretch for his web
series, Fake School Minibus.
359
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,560
Meet a lot of people in the clink.
360
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:30,880
Yeah.
361
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,960
And I've got the Thai pen pals
to prove it.
362
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,640
Yes! Aha!
363
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,480
Thanks, man. Free Inchez
is going to blow up!
364
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,440
Yo, Harrison,
take a good pic of me.
365
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,560
Let's post that shit.
366
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,200
Hashtag threeinchez - posted.
367
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,720
Whoa! Free with an F, you dipshit!
368
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,720
Delete that! The world's going
to think I'm rapping about having
369
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:07,880
a three-inch schlong.
370
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,080
Oh, I thought you were combating
toxic masculinity,
371
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,800
like a micro-penis visibility day.
372
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,920
This dipshit has just thrown man
under the bus.
373
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,720
Well, well, well.
374
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,000
That's not very kind, Aloysius.
375
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,600
You just lost your privileges.
376
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,200
No phone for you.
377
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,280
Mind if I have a word with
the governor?
378
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,440
Boss?
379
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,080
Look, I didn't mean
no disrespect earlier,
380
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,680
but if our friendship
out there means anything,
381
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,400
you'll help me out with
a bit of dog and bone.
382
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,200
Give me the chain.
383
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,560
WHISPERS: Fine.
384
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,720
Good boy.
I'll unlock the phone for you.
385
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,000
Ten minutes.
386
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,320
Usma, I need you!
387
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,960
Nah, man, she's had her time!
388
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,720
Shut it! She knows me angles!
389
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,680
Move man.
390
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,680
Ha! How 'bout that?
391
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,080
HE LAUGHS
392
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,680
You feel it too, sir.
393
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,960
I see it.
394
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,200
Listen, all I care about
is keeping my job.
395
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,040
If Miss Hoburn's happy with how this
works, then I am sweet.
396
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,880
How exactly is random men
locking us up going to work?
397
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,600
Isn't that a little bit
suspect to you?
398
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,440
They could be doing
anything out there.
399
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,400
No, Flints is me mate.
What about Smeeks?
400
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,200
I do recognise him from somewhere.
401
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,640
Oh, my God! It's perfect.
402
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,400
Oh, send it to my agent. Cool.
403
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,720
Oh... You know that Mr Smeeks?
He does look familiar.
404
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,840
Innit?
405
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,960
Yeah, but where would you lot
meet a prison officer?
406
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,480
SCOFFS
Prison officer? In his dreams.
407
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,560
He's not worked in years.
What, you know him?
408
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,240
Know him? Who do you think beat him
to Heat Magazine's
409
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,880
Most Promising New Teen
Soap Star Award?
410
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,880
Oh, my God, yes, that's it!
He was in Hollyoaks!
411
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,280
He played Sally's secret son's
stalker ex-boyfriend.
412
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,560
Until his career
was engulfed by scandal.
413
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,600
Champagne, cocaine,
and he was a dirty little thief.
414
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,680
So why didn't you say anything?
415
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,400
Er, do you children listen
in my class?
416
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,200
What is the first rule
of method acting?
417
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,440
Er, don't know, man.
418
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,280
Never break character!
419
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,880
So, if all your friends
are unserious,
420
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,800
then this is all a fix.
421
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,760
They're probably robbing
the place right now.
422
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,760
Oh, shit! Hoburn's going to kill me!
423
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,040
Right, we've got to stop 'em!
424
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,840
Well, hello,
let's just call for help!
425
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,400
After I delete that post!
Give me that phone. Wait!
426
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,760
What are you doing?
427
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,840
It's Warren's face ID.
I'm trying to look like him.
428
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,640
Give me that! My phone!
429
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,520
Get off! Hey!
430
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,280
Warren, don't be stupid.
We need to get out of this shithole.
431
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,800
Shithole?!
432
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,320
This is paradise.
I've never had it so good.
433
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,560
I'm respected in here.
I'm somebody.
434
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,480
No, Warren! This isn't respect.
435
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,120
It's fear.
436
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,800
Look at me.
437
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,960
Inside here, you're feared.
438
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,520
Out there, you're loved.
439
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,160
Go on, give me the phone.
Yeah, you're right.
440
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,720
It's dead.
441
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,120
THEY GROAN
442
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:02,640
You and your tapes!
443
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,480
Fraser... Ah!
444
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,440
Reminds me of my prison days.
445
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,360
Mm. Have you, er,
seen today's facilitators?
446
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:16,080
It's nearing the end of the day and
there seems to be no sign of them.
447
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,000
You're telling me.
Mamma's got her gruel on.
448
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,080
Did they say how long
the kids will be locked up?
449
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:25,120
Ah, well... How long, Mr Fraser,
is a piece of string?
450
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:29,040
Mm, I'm not sure that applies to
the incarceration of schoolchildren.
451
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,760
I speak from bitter experience.
452
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,280
So, have you seen Mr Smeeks?
Smeeksy and Flinty, aka the Man Dem.
453
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,640
I saw them carrying school
computers into the car park.
454
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,240
They didn't have a clue, bless 'em.
455
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:42,120
Sorry, school computers
into the car park?
456
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,120
And you didn't think to stop them?
457
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:46,640
Stopped them
from having lifelong health issues.
458
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,680
The silly sausages were
doing it all wrong.
459
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:49,720
I helped them...
460
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,960
..steal school equipment.
461
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,520
DOOR HANDLE RATTLES
462
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,160
I'm going to kill Mitchell Harper.
463
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,200
The air vent!
464
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,880
I'll head to the classrooms,
you tool up!
465
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:03,160
Tool up?
The confiscation cupboard.
466
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,040
Three rights and a left,
from memory.
467
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,280
OK.
468
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,720
And lift!
469
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,840
I'll do free raps for everyone,
I swear man!
470
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,200
Help!
471
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,120
Come on!
472
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:21,440
SCREAMING
473
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,520
Warren, you had a penknife.
Let's just use that.
474
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,520
I think suicide is a bit extreme,
Mr Carmichael.
475
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,040
Er, no - to pick locks!
476
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,800
Surely somebody must know
how to do that.
477
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,440
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
478
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,040
When will anybody respect me?
479
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,840
Anyway, I've already tried.
480
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,200
Can't we like dig a hole,
like in the wall or something?
481
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,680
We can tie a note to Warren's bird.
It can fly for help.
482
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,080
Jethro? His wing is broken.
483
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,440
It'll be 3-6 weeks
before he's capable of that.
484
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,920
Well, we have to think of something.
485
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,360
A solution is not just going
to fall from the sky.
486
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,080
MAN SCREAMS
487
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:03,520
Look how I landed!
Look how I landed!
488
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,440
Yes, Fraser! You are a genius!
489
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,720
What tools did you bring?
490
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,040
My bad self.
491
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,160
Oh, quality.
492
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,240
So, not only am I going to lose my
job, we're not stuck in here with
493
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,480
a totally unarmed Fraser
who smells like a...
494
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:17,520
What is that?
495
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,080
Ooh, gruel! Yummy!
496
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,000
Wait...
Harrison, where did you just go?
497
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,440
Well, I was finding this all
a little bit stressful,
498
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,000
so I went outside to clear my head.
499
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,400
Ain't nothing to clear.
500
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,520
Man's head is emptier
than Noel Clarke's diary.
501
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,640
Ow, man.
Where did you go to get air?
502
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,480
The fire exit by the showers.
503
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,040
When did you discover that?
I've been using it all day.
504
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:42,720
Why didn't you suggest this when
we were working out escape plans?!
505
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,320
Oh, gosh, yeah. Great point.
506
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,040
Ugh! What a melt.
507
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,880
MUSIC: Glidin'
by Pa Salieu featuring Slowthai
508
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,960
Any kinda war, man glidin'
Glidin'
509
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,000
Glidin'
510
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,240
On God, till my death, mi nah care
Mi nah care
511
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,360
The dirt I've done, mi nah care
Mi nah care
512
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,360
If I licked your guy, mi nah care
Mi nah care
513
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,280
You know smoke must spark anywhere
Anyhow...
514
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,120
We've been had.
515
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,720
Let's catch the thieving bastards!
516
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,080
Ah!
517
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,480
Because you talk skengs don't mean
you shoot
518
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,800
High energies but the head top
loose
519
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,880
I guide me,
I don't follow no rules
520
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,800
Ayy, fuck dat, hold dat grudge
till the death of me
521
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,800
Snakes in the grass hella
schemin', I'm tryna take off heads
522
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,640
That's why you pree dem tings
523
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,560
Self-conscious, brudda, you need
to love yourself or somethin'...
524
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,320
Let's be having you!
525
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,600
ALL ROAR
526
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,360
Ooh, come on...
527
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:47,760
Psssst.
528
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,320
Look, I can explain. This is...
529
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,960
Place it down carefully.
530
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,920
A lot of Lash's budget went on that.
531
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,560
Sorry. Me, um... Me depth of field's
not what it used to be.
532
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,360
How could you do this to me, Flinty?
533
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,240
I'm on me final warning.
534
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,480
I didn't want to.
535
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:09,880
It was Smeeks.
536
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,400
If Smeeks told you to jump out
of a window, would you do it?
537
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:13,880
You really ARE a teacher.
538
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,920
Yes. Yes, I am.
539
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,000
And I would much prefer to spend
six months
540
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,120
shitting in a three-man cell
with that lot
541
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:22,760
than spend another second
with you. Thanks?
542
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,000
Oi!
543
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,560
IN GRUFF VOICE: You ain't going
nowhere, you slag!
544
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,080
Bernie is out for blood.
545
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,560
You're gonna make all of this kosher
again so Mitchell can keep his job.
546
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,160
I think they just ordered two pints
547
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,760
of Shit 'Emselves.
548
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,040
STEPHEN CHUCKLES
549
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,640
Gross.
550
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:42,920
But the school property -
551
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,520
I mean, Mr Fraser witnessed you
absconding with it.
552
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,080
She no lie.
553
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,480
It's all part of the programme.
554
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,840
Studies have shown that becoming
a victim of crime is a strong
555
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,120
deterrent to a life of crime,
but it had to be convincing.
556
00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:57,880
You kept the kids
locked up for four hours.
557
00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:59,760
I mean, how can you justify that?
558
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,520
With all due respect, Miss Hoburn,
559
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,040
look at their behaviour now.
560
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,840
Miss Hoburn!
I just wanna say thank you.
561
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,720
I have gone cold turkey
on the pumtang!
562
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,360
To think that I thought that those
guys were up to no good.
563
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:21,360
Uh-uh.
Today has saved me.
564
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,040
Miss, Miss! Thanks, yeah.
565
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,400
I swear, today made me realise
I don't need make-up.
566
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,880
I'm still me without it!
567
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,240
But you're caked in make-up.
568
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,320
Yeah, obviously!
I'm MORE me with it, innit?
569
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,400
Miss, as a thank-you for today,
570
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,760
I have dedicated my book to you.
571
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,720
It's called A Long Walk To Tring,
572
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,040
and it's all about my incarceration.
573
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,960
Jinx! Thank you.
574
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,720
I will honestly never read it.
575
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,640
Well, Mr Harper,
today has been a big success.
576
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,360
Well done, me! I'm a visionary.
577
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,520
So I get to keep me job?
For the time being.
578
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,840
Yes! Yes!
579
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,360
STEPHEN SCREAMS
580
00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:05,800
I didn't get the part!
And not even a recall!
581
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,600
Apparently I was too macho.
582
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,440
Pearls before swine, sir!
583
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:10,480
Aaargh!
584
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:16,720
Oi, you see that microscope, yeah?
I think that's for you.
585
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,160
Oh, mate!
586
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:20,840
I'm sorry, Inchez.
587
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,360
Look, I wanted to make it up to you,
588
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:23,520
so I made a post of my own.
589
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,760
It's already got so many likes.
590
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,840
People need to know
that you're a unique talent.
591
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:30,880
OnlyOneInchez.
592
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,760
Oh, my days!
593
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,400
Right, everyone, home time!
Out, you animals!
594
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:46,240
I can't believe Flinty and Smeeks
get to walk away scot-free.
595
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,880
Or DO they?
596
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,040
RETCHING
597
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:51,680
That's it, lads.
598
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,880
Only eight more buckets to go.
599
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,480
Open wide.
600
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,760
You think it's bad going in?
601
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,440
You should see it coming out.
602
00:28:04,490 --> 00:28:09,040
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