All language subtitles for Archer s14e07 Mission Out of Control Room.eng

Brand-new computers,

top-of-the-line
hacking capabilities,

high-def monitors,

simultaneous audio-visual
communications,

and tracking field agents
from location to pulse rate.

And this sends an
electromagnetic pulse

to stop their heart.

No, it doesn't.

Ugh! Then why do we
even have this thing?

Now, sure, this
setup cost as much

as a small European village...

Ugh. I own
way too many of those.

...but this
is how I can finally

have control over missions
while they happen.

No more chaos, no more
agents not listening,

because I'll be in their
ear the entire time.

Pretending to
be the ghost of their uncle

and slowly driving them mad!

Smart.

That's not what I'm doing here.

All I want is an end

to the insane collateral
damage we cause

that eats up our profits

and makes us the butt
of everyone's jokes.

Did you hear the one about

how we get sent on
idiotproof missions...

...but we just
become better idiots?

Yeah! 'Cause I screamed
it at you yesterday.

Right.

Wait that was you?

But all that changes now.

This mission goes perfectly,
it'll show everyone

we are one of the best
agencies in the world.

Six agents, three
countries, one mission:

to shut down the international
online black market Dragon Run.

Holy shit! It's online?

The Dragon Run system is
programmed to delete itself

if any of the
mainframes get hacked,

so our agents need
to simultaneously

insert the malware drives,

which will upload the
criminal data to our servers.

And, oh, man, that sweet
Interpol bounty will be huge.

And I am the conductor
of this perfect symphony.

At what point in that sentence
did it get sexual for you?

Look, our agents
may be out there,

but the real
battlefield is in here,

where I face the dogs of
chaos and bring them to heel.

Bring them to heel.

And I brought a giant
party sub for everyone!

All right, everyone.

We'll be tracking you on
your body cams to lead you

through each of your
missions and get you

to your respective
Dragon Run mainframes.

Make sure to keep
comms open so...

What the hell is she doing?

Hello!

Lana? You saying something?

- Hello!
- What is happening, Greg?

Sorry, you were on
mute. But not anymore.

I think this equipment is so new

and we didn't really
get any training.

Can team leaders confirm
everything is ready?

All right. First,
Team Ballsfor.

Oh, God, Pam, I'm not gonna
say, "What's Ballsfor?"

For slappin' your chin, dummy!

I said I
wasn't gonna say it!

Well, Team Ballsfor

is outside the
warehouse and prepping.

Has my objection to team
leader choice been noted?

Yes, I have your objection
right here in my notes.

"Ray whines about
some bullshit."

It's not... I have seniority!

These
guns! Pow-pow!

I have bionic legs!

I could kick a hole
right through you!

Ray, it's no big deal.

You're infiltrating
a Japanese warehouse

and Pam speaks Japanese.

Her being team leader
works for the mission.

That's not a real reason.

It's not like Zara or
Krieger speak Spanish,

but they're rappelling
into a Mexican cave.

I don't think caves
speak Spanish.

Unless you count the echoes.

Hate to be pedantic, but
I speak Spanish fluently.

And we're not actually
rappelling into a cave

but into a Mexican cenote.

Well, it sounds like
you love being pedantic.

And it sounds like you love
being a whiny little bitch.

Damn! She nailed you.

Can the teams not communicate
with each other via the comms

to avoid crosstalk?

And can we check in with team...

Stiletto, seriously?

What's
wrong with Stiletto?

They're sexy, and anyone
can pull them off.

Lord knows I can.

Turns out, Krieger
and I both like

to carry them with
us at all times.

You're talking about
the stiletto dagger, right?

Yes, but we also like to
confuse people with homonyms.

Love a good homonym.

Words!

Don't love that new friendship,

but it works for the mission.

According to the schematics,
you need to follow the pipes

to the back entrance
of the server farm.

And is it normal to
keep a bunch of tech

suspiciously close to water?

It is if you want to have
a shocking amount of fun.

The water is used as coolant.

Krieger just needs to
hook his computer up

to the mainframe
and shut it down.

Huh. This is
actually a good plan.

It's exciting to be
impressed by something.

Maybe for once, I
don't have to worry

about this team
getting me killed.

Um, I think you mean me saving
you from getting killed.

The only thing
you're saving me from

is sexual attraction at work.

Once again, No
crosstalk, please.

Fine, Team Team Names Are Stupid

checking in with two questions.

One, leaving me until last

is completely disrespectful.

Not a question.

Two, why did everyone

get someone mildly useful

- except for me?
- And you know why.

- Hey!
- Yes, Cyril. Hello.

I know you're here.

I meant hey as in,
you're insulting me.

Wouldn't it be more
surprising if we stopped?

Well, Archer, maybe if you
hadn't almost killed us

on our last mission...

Uh, uh, let's remember
I saved someone too.

- Like who?
- Myself. From boredom.

By blowing off the
mission and going

to the national mud
wrestling championships.

Which were great but very muddy.

Which was completely
off assignment.

Not to mention we traced

the office head lice
breakout to you.

If it weren't for all that,

you wouldn't be
in this situation.

Oh, so it's my fault my
scalp tastes delicious?

- Wait, so I'm the punishment?
- No.

Archer's punishment was his
mainframe location being...

Ugh. New Jersey.

And Cyril being on his team
was just a screw-you bonus.

I can't believe
I'm in New York's

lurching afterbirth.

I'm embarrassed we
send garbage here.

Back on mission!

Dragon Run uses a
distributed container model

for compute and storage.

That means we have to
do this synchronously,

or the other nodes take over.

- So, Pam...
- And Ray.

And eye roll. We tapped
into the warehouse cameras,

and the northeast entrance
is your best way in.

Take out the two guards,
and use their badge

to get in the door.

Everything is happening
exactly as it should.

Just as I foresaw.

Ugh. Want
to try that again

but a little less
Emperor Palpatine-y?

Silence when your
leader is speaking!

I mean, that's what you
were gonna say, right?

Yeah, we really needed
Japanese for that.

Stiletto, how're we looking?

Ooh, well, I'm glad
we were briefed

on the literal
endless bats above us.

- It's still a bit...
- Intoxicating?

I was gonna say unsettling,

but those are not
interchangeable.

Don't worry, the control center
is using your comms to project

an ultrasonic tone to
keep the bats calm.

Wow, you paid extra
for the bat-calming package?

It came in a bundle with
other animal options.

Yeah, cool, cool, cool.

Uh, you know, just curious, uh,

you got one in there that
arouses squid sexually?

I thought you
were into octopi.

Well, I'm branching
out.

Like tentacles.

Krieger, you're never
touching this machine.

But yes.

Wouldn't it
be a better plan

to have the ultrasound with us?

No, controlling
it from here

assures we stay on plan
without mistakes being made.

I don't like the
implication I make mistakes,

but I'll let it slide since
you're keeping the bats calm.

Yeah, because if
I've learned anything

from the bats I've taxidermized,

it's that they do not like
the sound of me laughing

when they're about to die.

You do taxidermy? Cool.

It's a very efficient art form.

That's what you
got from that? Huh.

I am really not used to
people actually listening

to the content of
what I'm saying.

Each team needs to let me know
when they hit the mainframe.

Archer, we're gonna tap

into the house security
system, and you can...

Just walk into the house
after breaking the lock?

Because it's just a house

in the middle of
the night, Lana.

Or did you want to
deactivate the doggy door

and use your fancy radio waves

to knock out the gnomes outside?

I didn't see any gnomes.

Shh! Cyril, did you hear that?

It was you killing the joke.

The house could just be a decoy.

And remember, we're aiming
for no collateral damage,

so stay alert, and
find the mainframe.

Yeah, we'll also try not to
find hepatitis A, D, or E,

which is basically
impossible in Jersey.

This really seems like
a normal house, um,

which would be bad if we
just broke into it, right?

- Oh, my God!
- What?

I just remembered!

Frank Sinatra is
from New Jersey.

How could that be?

Please remember that
I'm monitoring you,

so stay on task in a
professional manner.

This is my
professional manner.

Ms. Kane, I brought
you some nourishment

so you can keep your strength
up for the big battle.

Cheryl, the whole
point of all of this

is to avoid a big battle.

We can finally get off the
treadmill of mediocrity

because we won't have a
huge mess to clean up.

No, I meant the worker
battle I've been planning

for when we're
done with all this.

It's to the death!

- Of course it is.
- Or...

I could find the button
that can kill on command.

Like...

this one!

What did you do?

What was necessary.

No, something happened
to one of the agents.

Their blood pressure spiked.
They might've been shot.

Is everyone okay?
Teams, check in now!

Team Ballsfor in position
with the mainframe.

Yeah, because I found it.

Yeah, congrats, Ray.

You spotted the door
marked "mainframe."

Which was in English.

We're good too. Coming
up on the mainframe now.

Although
we are walking a path

the Mayans once believed

was a gateway to the underworld,

so if this all ends in
a sacrificial death,

we'll be honoring tradition.

Well, then whose
blood pressure is...

Cyril, what the hell happened?

Oh, God. We're going
to jail for life.

Oh, my God. Oh,
I can't breathe.

Okay, so if the house is a decoy

and you're under fire, we can...

Oh, boy. W-we're
gonna need to hold.

Hold? God, Archer.
What did you do?

This one isn't on me.

If you guys are here to kill me,

I'd really appreciate
you letting me

clear my browser history first.

Cyril, your biometrics
are all over the place.

- You need to calm down.
- Calm down?

We are grown men who just broke
into a teenage boy's bedroom

in the middle of the night!

Cyril, you didn't
even do anything.

I'm the only one this kid'll
bring up in therapy one day.

Right, kid?

- I mean, yeah, probably.
- See?

- Brag much?
- This is just a small hiccup.

It doesn't take us off mission.

I don't see what you're
worried about, Lana.

We pretty much usually always
complete missions successfully.

Sometimes.

- Often.
- Wow,

a lot of modifiers there.

Yeah, and we always
cause a giant mess

and get all the blowback,
but not this time.

So, Cyril, you need to
calm down and focus!

This is like Cheetah
Scouts all over again.

You think it's your new start,

but it's actually a portal
to unimaginable horror.

Ugh, my mom is so desperate
for me to join Cheetah Scouts.

- Ugh.
- Oh, God.

Oh, God. They
thought I was cool

at my first Cheetah
Scouts meeting,

but then they found out.

They found out!

Oh, wow, Cyril
seems to be having

some kind of painful flashback.

Permission to mercy-shoot him?

What's the holdup here?
We're in position,

but someone will find those
knocked-out guards soon.

And if I were team leader,
I would've hid those bodies.

Well,
pretty convenient

you're just saying that now!

Listen to me! This mission
is not falling apart!

- Not on my watch!
- Yeah!

We don't know the meaning
of the word "hubris"!

Archer, can you
find the mainframe

while the other teams
are still in position?

Well, it's not in this
room, unless it looks like

the Time Life subscription
to being a virgin.

- Dibs!
- A virgin with a hot mom.

Oh. Pass.

Wow. Hey, Trev. Uh,
what's her deal?

Is now the
time for this?

It might be. I
mean, what if she's

- dating right now or...
- For the love of God,

stop with the crosstalk!

Then why can
we hear each other?

I don't know. Why
can they, Greg?

Hey, listen.

If you guys are here about...

Dragon Run...

...I set up the
mainframe in the basement.

Wow, a teen hacker.

I read about that in
Overused Trope Magazine.

Dude, it was just an
after-school hobby.

Yeah, buying and
selling illegal goods

looks great on a
college application.

I don't even want to be
a part of it anymore.

Oh, did you not find a world
of ones and zeroes comforting

in the face of your
disgusting hormones?

Or did the girl you wanted to
impress not think it was cool?

- That's not what happened.
- Really?

- Who's your best friend?
- Laura.

But that's different, dude,

because I just have to
stick around long enough

for her to realize
she really likes me.

- I rest my case.
- All right.

I promise I will show
you to the basement

and the mainframe if you
promise not to tell my mom.

She would be so mad at me.

Oh, God, it's knot-tying
all over again!

Also, you have to promise
not to date my mom.

Uh...

Oh, my God, Archer,

tell him that's fine,

and get down there now!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lana,

let's not get ahead
of ourselves here.

Archer, I swear to God!

And she is God!

Fine! Cyril, get the kid.

Just grabbing a
kid and taking him

into a basement...
totally normal.

How long is this hold lasting?
We've got incoming guards.

You are supposed to
be on top of this, Greg!

- I am?
- That is what this

control center is
supposed to be for!

To handle any
crisis that comes up

before it becomes a disaster!

Um, speaking of crisis,

none of these photos
seems to include a dad.

He, uh, died when I was a kid.

Oh, wow, tough
break. I'm so sorry.

I grew up without a dad too.

Uh, unrelated, did he die
from something contagious

that your mom might have?

That's not unrelated.

Let him answer, Cyril!

Archer, stop trying
to bang his mom!

Greg, why haven't you pulled
up the warehouse cameras?

Because you didn't tell me to.

Greg, you have one job!

Oh, is it reading your mind?

Thank you!

Now we can finally...

wait, what? What's happening?

Is this a cyberattack
retaliation?

Uh, I think this is what

the electrician meant
when he was all...

"Blah, blah, blah,

"this control center uses a
lot of power, blah, blah, blah.

The building isn't
built for it, blah."

What? Why didn't
you tell me that?

You know what
electricians are like.

They'll say anything.

That is not a
recognized stereotype.

Can anyone at least hear us?

The console needs a
couple minutes to reboot,

but we can get audio.

Son of a bitch.

Team Ballsfor, report.

Yeah,
how's it hangin'?

- Damn it, Greg!
- Hold!

We need to hold, damn it!

Good thing
you speak Japanese.

Okay, we need to keep
everyone in position

until the control
center comes back on,

which had better be
goddamn soon, Greg.

God,
they're everywhere!

Oh, God! The bats
are everywhere!

Come on, the ultrasound
turned off too?

No shit!

I knew you people
would get me killed!

How hard is it to
stick to a plan?

The bats always
said they'd get their revenge!

Vengeance, thy
name is tadarida brasiliensis!

Huh, sounds like this
mission would've been easier

without the control
center at all.

No, this control center
is the only thing

that is keeping this all...

working! Finally!

Now, I can see
everything that's...

Hyah!

going horribly
wrong! Oh, my God!

Okay, guys, I need
you to listen!

We need to hold! God,
is this what hell is like?

Ow! Pretty close!

Wait, are Archer and Cyril
actually in position?

Yes, Lana, because
we didn't need

that unnecessary control center.

But I wouldn't mind
the footage from this

if those photos are the closest
I'm getting to that mom.

Actually, I'll
just take a photo.

Actually, I'll just
sleep with her.

No! You promised.

I promised not to
date her, Trevor.

For a teenager helping
run a black market,

you should be more
aware of treachery.

Remember this lesson.

We can use the control
center for the other agents.

Greg, turn the
ultrasound back on,

and then tap into
the warehouse feed

to divert attention
away from Ray and Pam.

Hey, Greg, where are you...

Wh-what the hell's going on?
Why is everyone getting sick?

Cheryl?

Yes, Ms. Kane?

Where did you get
that party sub?

Duh, from the party sub store.

I bought it last week
and kept it under my desk

so I wouldn't forget it.

But you didn't eat any of it?

Of course not. In
solidarity with you.

Plus, it smelled so weird.

Pam, please tell me you
and Ray handled the guards.

Yes, but we need to hold.

Why?

I gotta drain the clam.

Unless the control center
can empty my bladder.

Can it?

Cheryl, did you get the
ultrasonic cloaking back up

so the bats stop
attacking Team Stiletto?

Yes, by which I mean no

because I don't know what
anything you just said means!

The control panel manual
said it was user-friendly.

Where did Greg put
the damn manual? Greg!

Hearing this isn't inspiring
a lot of confidence.

Please tell me you
have a backup plan.

Ugh, uh, Krieger,

do you know anything
about this system?

That depends.

Is it a model 27-0,

or is it a model 27-Y?

I-I-I don't know. Neither?

Oh, good,
'cause I was bluffing.

I just made those up.

Um, what's going on here?

Mom alert. We
have a hot mom alert.

Repeat, hot mom alert.

Nice!

I finished peeing, by the way.

Is Pam's bladder
really top priority?

Crosstalk, crosstalk, crosstalk!

Okay, to
deal with the mom.

The plan is to try to access
the home security system.

Say there was an alarm and
that you're with the...

Cheetah Scouts.

Oh, my God. Archer, no.

Where's the nuclear button?

Did you say Cheetah Scouts?

Of course. I'm your son's
new Cheetah Scouts leader.

Right, and I'm his
assistant scout leader.

I'm actually in charge of knots.

Uh, but don't ask
me to show you any.

Yeah, and we're here in our

brand-new black ops
Cheetah Scouts uniforms

to welcome your son
to Troop, uh, 333.

Right, right. That...
that's why they're here.

Nothing
else weird or illegal

is happening here, Mom.

Or you could just not say
anything at all, kiddo.

Well, that is...

great! Oh, I'm so relieved.

When Trevor had me buy him
this fancy video game stuff,

I was afraid he'd never
do anything active again.

Well, Cheetah Scouts
is very active.

Some might say too active.

And you don't have to
say anything either,

Assistant Scout Leader Cyril.

Well, thank God you two
are in his life now.

He could really use
some father figures.

Mom.

Hey, I grew up without a father,

so I get that more than anyone.

I guess you guys actually
handled that, uh, not terribly.

And they didn't need you
or the center at all.

You were totally useless.
Isn't that great?

Right. Yeah.

Well, if you two aren't busy,

any chance we could
get a heads-up

the next time dozens of
guards are coming our way?

Ray, what's
going on there?

Well, Team Leader Pam thought
it would be a good idea

to stash the guards we
knocked out in the closet.

Ray, that was your idea.

Oh, right.

It doesn't matter.

Everyone needs to get
their thumb drive in,

or we'll be compromised.

It'd be great
if some attention

could be placed on getting
us to the mainframe

without bat rabies.

You can just say "rabies."

Okay, since
I clearly don't know

how to work this center
and some of you seem to be

just fine without it,

Krieger, how would you
get through the bats

if you were just...
on your own?

Oh, that's allowed?
Well, I'll be right back.

Oh, my God, Krieger just

pulled out this giant
electric light thing.

Oh, my God, he's
going after the bats.

It's brilliant!

It's like watching a ballet,
but instead of stupid dancing,

it's fighting off bats.

God, there's someone
competent at this agency,

and it's Krieger.

His personal backup
plan is so unique,

it could not have been
centrally planned.

Watching this is an
unforgettable moment.

Anyone who doesn't see this

has a worse life for
having missed it.

It's always going to
be a mess, isn't it?

I will never be
able to control it.

You mean IBS? I'm afraid not.

No, no, the chaos,
the collateral damage,

it's just impossible to control.

Yes, it is, but, being
caught in a Sisyphean cycle,

you continue to fight
against the chaos

that will ultimately prevail

because you're worried
about the external reaction

instead of looking
at the final result

and accepting some things
cannot be controlled.

We're talking about me and
the sandwich thing, right?

You know what? Screw it.

Everyone, just find
your way into position.

Do whatever you need to do.
Archer, is the mom gone?

Um, yeah, you could say that.

It's so hard, you know?

They grow up, and they're
out of your hands.

As a fellow single parent,

I can tell you're
doing your best.

Well, that's why I
moved us to New Jersey.

And what a great
choice that was.

I mean, Frank Sinatra's
from New Jersey.

Sounds to me like we
have a lot in common.

Whatever. As long as one
of you is in position.

Looks like I'm not the
weak link after all, huh?

Well, you basically did nothing,

and Archer, being Archer,
got you out of that.

- Thank you.
- Zara,

did you and Krieger make
it to the mainframe?

Yeah, but only because
Krieger was so brilliant.

Lana, your plan was shit,

especially since it
held Krieger back

from doing the amazing
things he needed to do.

I mean, Krieger, should
we hang out more?

Only if you don't have
relatives or next of kin

who'd ask questions.

Pam, Ray, please tell me
you have everything handled

- over there.
- Ready.

And I think Ray should
plug in the drive,

since he's joint team leader.

Pam, no, y-you don't
actually have the power to...

- Aw, Pam! You really mean it?
- I do, Ray.

Lana made me team leader
because people are still salty

about you selling out
our secrets to Fabian.

But then I made it up to y'all.

Total Raydemption.

That's not how trust works.

- Pam!
- No crosstalk!

But, Ray, you having
my back in that fight

really showed me that
no matter what...

Resolve that shit later.

Plug in the drive
in three, two...

Now! Do it now!

Team Ballsfor,
mainframe deactivated.

Team Stiletto,
mainframe deactivated.

Team Trevor,
mainframe deactivated.

No, no. That's
not our team name.

And you don't get
to... you know what?

Team Cyril, mainframe
deactivated.

- Kaboom!
- Ugh.

Don't be so desperate, dude.

All right, here we go.

All black market
transactions are frozen.

Uh, Dragon Run
server is shut down.

And the data transfer
to us is complete!

- We did it!
- Yay!

- Success!
- All right!

It's kind of worrying,
just how excited we are

that we did our jobs
without anything exploding

or catching fire or the
police getting called,

but I'm not overthinking it.

And Ray finally
stopped bitching.

Shut up, Cheryl.

- Never mind.
- Okay.

Now all I have to do is
upload the files to Interpol

- and...
- What? No.

Get an office drone to do that
shit when they're done puking.

Uh, well, then when do I do?

What the
boss always does:

goes out and celebrates a win

that they had very
little to do with.

You know what? You're right.

I need to trust my agents

and know that they
can get the job done

even if it's not
the way I plan it.

- So let's go and get drunk.
- Yay!

Leave it.

You got it, boss.

Control?

Our only way out of here
is covered with gunmen.

Is there another exit?

Yeah, or maybe we
could get an extraction.

Apparently the mainframe
is now set to self-destruct,

so requesting
immediate extraction.

Hello. Lana? Lana.

For the love of
God, extraction, ple...

So you want to shoot
some hoops, baller?

Shut up.

Nerd.

Made in Georgia.

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