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1
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Sideways in linen.
2
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,960
For many years,
this has been my day job.
3
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:16,960
-
4
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,960
Going in hard and hot!
5
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,520
But when
the important work was over...
6
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,720
I've lost one of my nose tampons!
7
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,960
...I came home to this.
8
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,520
It's my farm in the Cotswolds.
9
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,760
Nestling among the ancient
stone villages,
10
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:46,880
it's a peaceful, 1,000-acre haven
of wide open fields,
11
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,200
brooks,
12
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,400
waterfalls,
13
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,040
woods,
14
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,240
and wild flower meadows.
15
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,680
It stretches from those trees
over there on the far horizon,
16
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,040
then it goes behind that big wood,
17
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,760
down into the valley
and then up past here
18
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,880
to a point a couple of miles over there.
19
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,040
And ever since I bought it back in 2008,
20
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,280
it's been run by a chap from the village.
21
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:23,680
However, he told me a couple
of months ago that he is retiring,
22
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:27,640
so I've come up with a plan.
23
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,840
I shall farm it myself.
24
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,440
I've never done this.
25
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:46,000
Ooh! Farming happening.
26
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,840
That's as straight as a roundabout!
27
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,560
Oh, that sign of me going up there
is not happening.
28
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,440
We're gonna have a sign saying,
"Guess who drilled this?
29
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,520
Jeremy, Kaleb?"
30
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,120
Take off!
31
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,800
Right.
32
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,080
Let's go round up some sheep.
33
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,880
Jeremy, you're going
too fast.
34
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,520
Oh, shit. Please stop.
35
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,440
Come on, don't rain. Don't rain.
36
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,120
This is global warming.
37
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,160
And you racing about all your life
in vehicles.
38
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,160
Just unbelievable horseshit.
39
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,720
See them? They're goldfinches.
40
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,720
Really? It actually makes me really happy.
41
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,520
Behold! I am Moses.
42
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,240
And what the fuck
are you doing up here?
43
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:31,840
Who's Moses?
44
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:40,600
It's a baby.
45
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,720
Ooh. Jeez.
46
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,240
Have you looked after sheep before?
47
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,960
- I think I've got in its anus.
48
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,000
No.
49
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,800
Oh, yes!
50
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,040
This is my wilding project.
51
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,160
Oh, my God!
- Oh, no, no, no.
52
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,520
This is not wilding.
That's damage.
53
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,560
It's like Fortnum & Masons.
54
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,480
It's what?
55
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,240
Oh, my God. What have I done?
56
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,160
Whoa!
57
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,960
-
58
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,640
Stay in your vehicle please.
Stay in your vehicle.
59
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,600
I'm pushing 60. I've smoked three
quarters of a million cigarettes.
60
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,040
I've had pneumonia. If I get it...
61
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,800
Yeah, there's not a lot of hope.
62
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,840
Oh, shit.
63
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,240
Shit, shit.
64
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,640
Wayne Rooney's dead.
65
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,840
And this is the moment.
66
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,880
You missed a bit.
67
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,560
-Where?
-In the mirror.
68
00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:58,920
-No, I didn't.
-You did.
69
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,400
-I didn't.
-You did.
70
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,320
All that is to come,
but right now,
71
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,680
it's time to start my first job.
72
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,440
The biggest, most important
job of them all.
73
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:20,080
Planting wheat and barley
in all the big fields like this one.
74
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:22,880
And how do you do that?
75
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:29,160
No idea. Literally, honestly,
I have absolutely no clue.
76
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:33,680
All I do know is it's going
to involve some tractoring.
77
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,600
Obviously,
to do tractoring I need a tractor.
78
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,320
So, on day one,
I set off to my local dealership.
79
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,600
Quite like this one.
Look, the Super Major.
80
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,360
There are worse names.
81
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:17,760
As I'm familiar with stuff that has
four wheels and an engine,
82
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,880
I should have been at home here,
but I wasn't.
83
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:25,520
So I sought advice from
the dealership's owner, Patrick Edwards.
84
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,200
How much is this?
85
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,560
7,500. That is what we specialize in.
86
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,240
-You've got an engine at the front.
- Yeah.
87
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:37,720
You've got a gear box, and a back axle.
No suspension. No fancy electronics.
88
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,640
There's nothing to go wrong
that we can't mend.
89
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,440
-What horsepower has that got?
- 45 horsepower.
90
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,920
It's a bit feeble.
91
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,040
Well, it fed the country.
92
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,600
I know but people didn't
eat very much in those days.
93
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,320
-Um...
94
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,520
What's the most power,
what's that got horsepower-wise?
95
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,960
Well, that would be
about 65 horsepower.
96
00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,960
And is that the most
powerful one here?
97
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,320
Yes, yeah.
98
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,560
-65 Horse-power?
-Yes.
99
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:11,880
I then took one of his
restored tractors for a test drive.
100
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,800
Oh, it begins.
101
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,560
Let's open it up.
102
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,560
Oh.
103
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,400
Having finished
my test drive, I made a decision,
104
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:32,920
and bought this.
105
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,720
This is a Lamborghini R8.
106
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,600
Oh, my God, this thing is enormous!
107
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,480
Everything about it is just large.
108
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,560
Weighs ten tons.
109
00:06:55,640 --> 00:07:00,520
I have 40 forwards gears,
and 40 reverse gears.
110
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:07,080
And I know that little Massey Ferguson
was very sweet, but come on!
111
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,280
Okay, and here we are
at the farm.
112
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,600
Ooh, hello.
113
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,400
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
114
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,280
Oh, shit.
115
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,240
Right.
116
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,280
First up with
an opinion was my girlfriend, Lisa.
117
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,240
It isn't. It isn't,
the shed's too...
118
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,000
Enormous.
119
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,840
Little.
120
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,040
-Ah!
121
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,000
Here's someone who does
know about farming.
122
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,600
It's Charlie Ireland.
Now he's my, sort of, land agent.
123
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:57,200
He knows what's needed
and when it's needed.
124
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,960
He'll be guiding me over the coming year.
125
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,720
-Jeremy, hello.
-Charlie, how are you?
126
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,040
Very well thanks.
How are you?
127
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,000
-It's quite large.
128
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,200
Um...
129
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,240
Come on, it's a good tractor.
130
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,120
It's got the wrong hitch on.
131
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:14,920
What?
132
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,800
That's a European hitch.
133
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,520
What's...
I got it from Germany.
134
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,120
You may well have done.
135
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,160
So I can't attach anything
to the back of this?
136
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,200
Not at the moment.
137
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,880
But it is a big tractor.
138
00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,280
I think it's a vast tractor up here.
139
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,080
-Uh...
-Too big?
140
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,520
Yes.
141
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,240
Charlie then sat me down
to explain just how expensive
142
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,480
it would be to get my crops in the ground.
143
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,200
So you've got a tractor.
144
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,720
-Yeah.
-Albeit too big.
145
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:47,360
You then need some
implements to go on the back of it.
146
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,320
So the tractor at 40.
What else do you need?
147
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,640
A cultivator, 20-25,000.
148
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:58,040
A new drill, probably 40-50,000.
149
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,760
60,000 for a sprayer.
150
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,400
And you haven't got a trailer.
151
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,200
10,000.
152
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,600
Blades are 62,000.
153
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,720
About 35,000.
154
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,200
Same in fertilizer.
155
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:14,360
So we're about two...
we're a quarter of a million.
156
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:15,360
Quarter of a million pounds.
157
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,360
And that's just the, you know, sort of
the backbone of the equipment you want.
158
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,720
No, no, I'm sorry, I'm just going
to say it again.
159
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,600
-Quarter of a million pounds.
-A quarter of a million pounds.
160
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,880
So we can either do it two ways.
Either get some new equipment,
161
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,160
or we can probably do it
the sensible way
162
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,840
and get some good secondhand
machinery that's lower value.
163
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,440
-Yeah.
-There's a couple of farm sales coming up.
164
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,240
Okay, so we'll go to a farm sale.
165
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:38,880
Yeah.
166
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,000
So, a few days later,
167
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,360
on a beautiful Cotswolds' morning,
168
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,760
I fired up the checkbook
and went shopping.
169
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,520
Charlie had provided me
with a list of what to buy,
170
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,520
but it might as well have been in Arabic.
171
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,520
No idea what that is.
172
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:16,600
No idea.
173
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,600
What the hell is that? I mean,
what is everything?
174
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,080
Like a medieval funfair, this.
175
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,200
Hundreds of different ways
of killing yourself.
176
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:33,080
There are apparently 20 times
more deaths among people
177
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,880
working in agriculture
178
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:38,120
than there are in all
the other sectors combined.
179
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,880
20 times more.
180
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,600
And when you see equipment like this,
you can see why.
181
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,400
You're alone, you're in a field,
you fall in there...
182
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,640
and then you're just sort of
fed into your own field.
183
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,000
I see, right,
I think I've worked this one out.
184
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,000
You attach it to the tractor here,
185
00:10:58,360 --> 00:10:59,760
and then you slip
186
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,360
and that scrapes your arm off,
187
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,160
and then the other one scrapes
your arm into the ground.
188
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,320
Greetings. Are you a farmer?
189
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,280
No, no, I'm a forester.
190
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,680
Really good way of chopping
your arm off in forestry.
191
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,680
Oh...
192
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,080
You actually haven't got any fingers.
193
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,520
Unbelievable. Have you
seen this?
194
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,120
-Works in forestry.
-Yeah.
195
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,800
This is a thing of beauty.
196
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,600
Button-back Dralon three-piece suite.
197
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,240
Oh, yes.
198
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,240
Soon, the fields
started to fill up.
199
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,800
And the auction buzz was building.
200
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,840
He's just showing off. Look at me,
still got an arm.
201
00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,200
Amazon have said they want
as much diversity in this show
202
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,960
as we can possibly manage,
and I think we're doing well
203
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,200
because if you look,
204
00:11:55,280 --> 00:12:00,080
there's every different type
of white 60-year-old man here.
205
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:06,520
Right, we have a great line-up
of arable kit, and grassland kit.
206
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,560
To make sure
I didn't rip myself off,
207
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:14,240
Charlie had also provided
a handy price guide for each bit of kit.
208
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,360
I need lot three here.
209
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:21,880
Good price would be six and a half.
Bad price would be 13.
210
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,520
Vernon C&M cultivator.
At £1,000 just to your left.
211
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,760
At £1,000 I'm bid.
At £1,000. At £1,000.
212
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,200
Under the watchful gaze
of a man who seemed to have had
213
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,040
an argument with a threshing machine,
214
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,400
I started bidding.
215
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,680
14. 16. 1800, I'm bid.
216
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,680
2,000 I'm bid. Two-two. Two-four.
217
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,680
At two-six. Three-two.
218
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,560
At three-three. At three-eight.
219
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,000
3850.
220
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,600
Your bid, sir. Six-double one.
221
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,880
-Six double one. Thank you.
- Thank you.
222
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,080
That was good.
223
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,480
See, we were told six
and a half thousand was a good price.
224
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:03,840
We've just got that for 3950.
225
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,160
Yes!
226
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,680
On we go, lot 33.
227
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,080
It's a Bomford double-seven hedge cutter.
228
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,280
2,000 I'm bid.
229
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,440
I did go a bit over
on some of my other purchases.
230
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,240
-Your bid, sir.
-Oh, dear.
231
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:23,640
So, I was told not to go above
3,600 and I've gone to 5,100.
232
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,400
Here we go then.
Bid's on there.
233
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,000
But, at the end
of the sale...
234
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,760
At four-two I'm bid.
235
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,080
At 2006.
236
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,720
...I had everything I needed.
237
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,560
Your bid, sir. Six-eleven. The buyer.
238
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,520
Having spent
£82,000 on equipment,
239
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,520
and £2 on office furniture,
240
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:54,080
my next job, according to Charlie,
was to go through the timetable
241
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,040
for getting the crops in the ground.
242
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,280
So I've worked out a cropping plan.
243
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,920
And this is what we're putting
in this year then.
244
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,520
This is what I think we should put in.
245
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,440
This is, we've got to get
the winter barley in...
246
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,360
So the winter barley,
that's all the way along here.
247
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,040
Well, that's got to be
done now and the wheat here,
248
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,080
-it's got to be done now.
- Yeah.
249
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,680
So it's 235 acres.
We've got all this to...
250
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,960
And then we've got the 200 acres
of spring barley to prepare for.
251
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:24,040
So we've got to get cultivation, get
spraying off, cultivations and drilling.
252
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,080
-In...
-In under two weeks.
253
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,000
Okay.
254
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,400
Yeah, the problem is if we don't
drill the winter barley then,
255
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,840
the yield will start dropping off.
256
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:37,480
We need lots of seeds in the ground
to get those going,
257
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,040
so we've got quite a lot to do.
258
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,760
Okay.
259
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:45,920
And then there's the biggest challenge
is you've got, we've got to learn how to,
260
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,600
you know, you've got
to learn how to do it.
261
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,320
-Yeah, I know, but, I mean--
-'Cause, you know, there's an old saying,
262
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:55,040
that I've got, you know,
"Well sown is half grown."
263
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:59,520
So if the crop is planted well,
then actually you're halfway there.
264
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,640
So the biggest risk factor is--
265
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,440
-Not planting properly.
-Not planting it properly.
266
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,520
Right.
267
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,240
And we haven't mentioned the other factor.
268
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,360
We all get weather.
269
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,320
If the weather is rubbish,
we just have to sit there.
270
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,520
So the soil needs to be dry.
271
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,440
The soil needs to be,
you know, in good condition.
272
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,600
Lorry.
-There's a lorry arrived.
273
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,840
What have we got?
-We've got fertilizer...
274
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,160
-Yeah.
-Coming here.
275
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,400
And seed in this one. So...
276
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,520
-So I need to--
-We need to move the tractor.
277
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,960
-Yeah.
-Then the forklift's in here.
278
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,520
-Yeah.
-So we'll get that going.
279
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,560
Should have got
a smaller tractor.
280
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,360
I reckon these guys are gonna get
itchy in a minute.
281
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,240
Just as I was about
to get started,
282
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,280
cheerful Charlie delivered
a little bundle of government red tape.
283
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,840
-We've got some hay in there.
-Yeah.
284
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,280
So we need to move the hay, so you can't
store a combustible such as hay,
285
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,560
straw, or anything like that
with fertilizer.
286
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,520
The two mix quite well,
so you've got an oxidizing agent.
287
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,160
-Why not, why not?
- Well because...
288
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,080
Hay doesn't spontaneously combust.
289
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,800
Well, it might do
in the presence of fertilizer.
290
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,200
-Why might... really?
-Just... we're not allowed to.
291
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,560
It's breaching the fertilizer industry
assurance standard rules.
292
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:48,800
So the government has an opinion
on what I store my fertilizer next to?
293
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,440
In fairness, it's quite a sensible one.
294
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,640
Within our working week,
we've got to build in, you know,
295
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,160
the regulations and rules
that we have to comply by.
296
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:03,160
Some of those rules
are a little bit challenging
297
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,480
but, you know, they're there for a reason.
298
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,520
Farming's a patient game,
299
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,080
and given that he's, you know,
not the world's most patient man...
300
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,160
Fucking useless.
301
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,440
You know, that will be a real test.
302
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,560
Up, up, up, up, up,
up, up, up, up.
303
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:30,560
Fuck's sake.
304
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,680
Eventually, the hay,
305
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,720
and everything else
that might suddenly explode,
306
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,440
was taken out of the shed.
307
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,440
And much to the relief
of the delivery drivers,
308
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,000
I could finally start unloading.
309
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,560
Oh, look at this. Look at this.
310
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,560
Ah-ha-ha.
311
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,320
Backwards.
312
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:06,800
Cheers, mate. That's brilliant.
313
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,440
Do you want to pull forwards
so I can get the seed off?
314
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,200
There's, uh, 46 more bags
on here for you.
315
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,080
What?
316
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,560
Yeah. It's all for you.
317
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,800
All the way back.
318
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,080
You're kidding!
319
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,320
This is all for you.
320
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,240
I know, he just said.
321
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,680
Despite a couple of small accidents...
322
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,760
Oh, shit.
323
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:45,680
...I had all the fertilizer and the seed
unloaded in just five hours.
324
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:57,880
This was it?
-Yeah.
325
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,320
One of those,
and one of those.
326
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,760
-Sixteen and a half tons.
- That's right.
327
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,520
There you go, and many thanks
for your patience.
328
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,080
-No problem.
-It was my first day,
329
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,440
so I wasn't quite as quick as
I perhaps will be one day.
330
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,080
Now, I had the seed and fertilizer,
331
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,560
I was finally ready to start farming.
332
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,560
And with Charlie's tight timetable
looming over me,
333
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:32,280
I had to learn my way around
the equipment quickly.
334
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:38,160
So once the correct hitch
had been fitted to the tractor,
335
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,920
I sprang into action.
336
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:59,560
I assumed the answer to the question
of how I join everything together
337
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,680
lay in the cab. However...
338
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,560
Three buttons there. I don't know
what they do.
339
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,080
No, no, don't know.
340
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:09,520
No.
341
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,680
No.
342
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,880
Buttons here, don't know.
343
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,480
No.
344
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,920
And then... Oh, God, look.
345
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,760
There was only one thing for it.
346
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,040
Call my local branch
of the National Farmers' Union
347
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,680
and ask for help.
348
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,160
No, that would be prefect. Thanks.
349
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:33,920
That's good. My union representative's
coming over to give me some help.
350
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,000
I'll go and light the brazier.
351
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,640
Instead of Arthur Scargill, however...
352
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,280
they sent Georgia Craig.
353
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,920
I'll be honest, I'm not
the most practical man.
354
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,280
-Are you good with tractors?
-Yeah.
355
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,520
But this is the only tractor
you've got?
356
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,320
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
357
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,800
-Okay.
-Well, what's wrong with it?
358
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,400
It's just a bit... it's quite big
for what you've got.
359
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,800
Everyone keeps saying it's too...
everyone says it's too big.
360
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,480
What made you choose it?
- It's a Lamborghini.
361
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,160
-I'll get it done more quickly.
-Right, okay.
362
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,440
So what's the problem?
363
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:14,160
Honestly, truthfully, I don't
really know how the tractor works.
364
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,640
I can drive it but I can't operate it.
365
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,560
-But it's got three gear levers.
-Yeah.
366
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:24,160
Two brake pedals and 8,000 buttons.
367
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,560
-Okay.
-Some of which are in German.
368
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,400
Okey-doke.
369
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,240
Lesson one
was learning how to attach the tractor
370
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,800
to something called a cultivator.
371
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,080
That's it. Hold it there.
372
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,320
Who put a door catch there?
373
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,240
It's the last time I'm coming out
of there forwards.
374
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,000
The first thing I've noticed
is that pin is down,
375
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,680
so you want to have
both pins up.
376
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,080
Can I go in there?
377
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,640
I would turn the engine off,
and then pull the pin up,
378
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,800
-to be safe, as it's your first time.
-Back up the ladder?
379
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:56,720
Yeah.
380
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:00,800
-Right.
-Right so--
381
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:01,920
Pull that pin up.
382
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,680
So what we're gonna do is,
lift the link arms up.
383
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,360
-Right, so I start the engine?
-Yeah.
384
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,440
Back up the ladder.
385
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,520
-Don't do that. Sit in it.
386
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,680
Right.
- No, can I kick that one?
387
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:23,600
It's just slight-- look.
388
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,240
No. no, no. Don't kick it.
Do it inside.
389
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,240
Back up the ladder.
390
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:32,680
That's it. Hold it there.
391
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,280
Can I operate it from in here
and see if that works?
392
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,440
No, because they might come flying up.
393
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,280
For Christ's sake.
394
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,400
Okay, so you're nearly on.
395
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,920
You just need to come back
a tiny little bit and then they'll go on.
396
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,400
Yeah,
but it's literally a millimeter.
397
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:49,880
Yeah. You only need a little bit.
398
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,520
Back up the ladder again.
399
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:54,760
Fucking hell.
400
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,120
That's it. Right.
401
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,440
Turn the engine off
and then we'll do it from out here.
402
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,280
I'm going to operate it from in here.
I don't care what she says.
403
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:05,960
Ha, ha!
404
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,160
No. Oh, shit.
405
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,800
Yes! I did it.
406
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,760
I just couldn't be bothered
to come down the ladder again.
407
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,160
With the cultivator attached,
408
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,280
we headed out to a nearby field
409
00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:22,600
so Georgia could teach me how to use it,
and what it did.
410
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,320
The idea is
that we're just loosening the top,
411
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,360
the sort of friable surface of the soil.
412
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,880
So we loosen it up now,
jiggle it up a bit.
413
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,920
Yeah.
-So when we put the seeds in
414
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,280
-using the driller...
-Yeah.
415
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,640
-...they're into good, loosened-up soil.
-Yeah.
416
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,960
And so began my first driving lesson
for 42 years.
417
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,080
-First gear?
-Yeah.
418
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,520
-Low?
-Yeah.
419
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,360
Let's farm.
420
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,920
Look at that, I'm farming.
421
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,040
I'm doing it!
422
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:05,440
Look at the difference already.
423
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,000
You can see where you've cultivated.
424
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:11,360
Right, let's go a little bit faster
'cause we always want to get that soil
425
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,760
to bubble up. Speed up a bit.
426
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,000
And that soil is, like, boiling, isn't it?
Like a soil boil.
427
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:21,560
It's amazing.
428
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:26,680
So before you turn,
429
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,240
lift up, then we're gonna do
a three-point turn.
430
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:31,520
Lifting.
431
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:33,400
Little turn.
432
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:38,840
Going down.
433
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:43,760
Do you like cruising
in your Lambo?
434
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,040
Oh, come on,
it's a pretty good tractor.
435
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:47,480
Too big.
436
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:48,560
Isn't too big.
437
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:49,480
It is.
438
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,400
I was very much
enjoying farming,
439
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:58,920
so I decided to pull over
and enjoy it some more with a ploughman's.
440
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,400
What cheese is this?
-Cheddar.
441
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,200
-Do you want some piccalilli?
- Mmm.
442
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,520
I think you're ready to go on your own.
443
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,440
Cultivating.
444
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:11,440
Really?
445
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,320
Yeah,
'cause you'll get your own feel for it.
446
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,800
Flying solo on day one.
447
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:16,720
Hmm.
448
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,280
I'm actually doing farming.
449
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,600
-Which is what I--
-That's what you wanted to do.
450
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:21,520
I've never... I know.
451
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,480
And Howard, the previous farmer, said...
452
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,960
I'm jacking it in
and I just thought I'll do it.
453
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,920
And everybody said you're stupid,
454
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,880
you're literally...
that's the stupidest thing ever.
455
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,480
You'll never be able to do it.
456
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,480
And now you are.
- I'm actually doing farming.
457
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:42,920
Look at that now.
458
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:44,800
That's beautiful, isn't it?
459
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,120
Perfect.
460
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:50,200
I like that tractor.
461
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:51,520
Hmm. I like that tractor.
462
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,480
I shouldn't have been mean
about it to start with.
463
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,640
No.
-I was probably just jealous.
464
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,720
The next morning, I was up early.
465
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,880
Excited about going solo.
466
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,880
This is not a bad commute,
you know, this isn't.
467
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:22,880
Forging a path through the dew
on a beautiful, beautiful autumn morning.
468
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,360
Look at that view.
469
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,080
Lower cultivator. Cultivator lowered.
470
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,600
Farming happening.
471
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:05,800
Look at my seagulls.
472
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,960
There are thousands of 'em.
473
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:10,880
Ha.
474
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:15,120
I wonder if seagulls can hear tractors
from 70 miles away.
475
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,280
They must be able to.
476
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,080
It was a wonderful happy day.
477
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:21,800
Third gear.
478
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,120
Nice.
479
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,720
In fact, the only irritation
was having to faff about
480
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,200
turning round at the end of every run.
481
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,080
So I came up with a better idea.
482
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,480
Right, here's my plan, it's a good one.
483
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,920
I'm not gonna one of those
three point turns, then come back
484
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,800
alongside the bit I've just done.
485
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,920
I'm gonna do
a series of U-turns like that,
486
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:54,480
and then
487
00:27:55,880 --> 00:28:00,400
come back on the bits I haven't done
and it'll all fit together.
488
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,480
All right, ready?
Up she comes.
489
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,000
Go on full lock.
490
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:10,120
And then drop it back down.
491
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:15,200
Oh, yeah.
492
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,120
I just have to stay parallel with that bit
I've already done over there
493
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,760
and then I'll, yes.
494
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,880
Sadly, though, this turned out
to be harder than I thought.
495
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,160
Oh, God, I've not done this right.
496
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:38,960
Yeah, look what I've done.
497
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,120
I've made a mess.
498
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,520
I'm gonna have to come up it again.
499
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,840
Jeremy Clarkson,
he can't even drive in a straight line.
500
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,880
There's a bit over there
as well. Jesus wept.
501
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,280
I was wasting a lot of fuel
doing unnecessary runs,
502
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,440
and time. Time which I couldn't afford.
503
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,160
I had to get this field done,
504
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:13,480
and all the others.
505
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:18,640
That's 435 acres
506
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,240
in less than 14 days.
507
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:27,600
And all I'd managed to do on the first day
was ten acres.
508
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,360
Now I've made a total Horlicks of this.
509
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,040
I realized that I needed help.
510
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,320
-Kaleb, nice to meet you.
-How are you--
511
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,640
So I called Kaleb Cooper.
512
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,400
The tractor driver who'd worked
for the previous farmer.
513
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,080
I'm in a muddle.
514
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,560
I'm in a proper, proper muddle because,
515
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,400
well, I mean you've farmed this farm,
haven't you for--
516
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,400
Yeah, I've farmed this farm
for three years.
517
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:55,600
-Three years is it?
-Yeah.
518
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,480
Well I've been nearly 24 hours
519
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:02,240
and all I've managed to do is cultivate
ten acres of,
520
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:03,840
is that Bury Hill South?
521
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:05,800
Ten acres?
522
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:07,240
Hmm.
523
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,680
And some of it went a bit wrong.
524
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:11,240
Um...
525
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:14,120
When you've done it in the past,
how long did it take to cultivate?
526
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:15,880
So that would probably take me
527
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:17,480
a good week,
528
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,720
but that's long hours
to do the whole farm.
529
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,760
Never mind long hours, but a week?
530
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:23,840
Yeah. A week.
531
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,440
And that was just the cultivating.
532
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:30,760
We'd then have to plant the seeds
using something called a drill.
533
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:32,600
And how long would that take?
534
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,880
A bit longer because, A...
what drill have you got?
535
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,240
A... a red one.
536
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:42,680
A red one?
537
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:46,960
It's colored red. It's re...
or is it orange?
538
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:47,880
It's reddy-orange.
539
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:48,880
Reddy orange?
540
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,880
So what else do you do apart from this?
541
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,520
So I've got my own contracting business
on the side,
542
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,240
Kaleb Cooper Contracting Services.
543
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,920
I've also got a 1.5-ton digger.
544
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:02,880
I do general digger work, such as burying
pipes, water pipes, digging footings.
545
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,120
So you're quite practical.
546
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:05,400
-Yeah. I've also--
-Animals?
547
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,920
I've also got 50 head of sheep.
548
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:13,720
I normally try and do five pigs a year
to fatten up for sausages, pork chops.
549
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:18,720
I've also got about 120 chickens
at the minute on the farm.
550
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,120
I sell the eggs locally.
551
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,520
How old are you?
552
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:22,880
I'm 21.
553
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,120
-What?
-This year. 21.
554
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,040
You're making me feel pathetic.
555
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,800
I'm 59. I haven't done any of that.
556
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,000
So what's your plan? So we've got--
557
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,720
This has been drawn up by Charlie Ireland.
558
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,680
Yeah.
-We've got winter wheat
559
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,120
in Bury Hill South and--
560
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,440
-Yes.
-Do you know what that one's called?
561
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,480
Laus. You do. What's this one called then?
562
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,640
Near Brossola.
563
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,520
-Yeah. This one.
-Deadman.
564
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,640
-Do you know the names of all the fields?
-Yeah, I know the names of all the fields.
565
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,480
Heredrone,
566
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,840
coming down is Downs Ground.
567
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,680
Coming down after that is Big Ground,
568
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,920
coming after that is Banks,
569
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,760
and then Spittaway, Taylor's.
570
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:05,120
Down on the road here is Near Bossola.
571
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,640
Mmm-hmm.
-Far Brossola.
572
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,400
How do you know this?
573
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,280
Well I spent three years in each field
574
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,520
spraying, drilling, cultivating.
575
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:14,720
-You're a local man then?
-Yeah.
576
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:15,920
Chippy born and bred.
577
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,240
-Chipping Norton School?
-Never left the place.
578
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:18,240
You've never left it?
579
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:19,760
-No.
-Been to London?
580
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,040
No. Oh, once on an art trip.
581
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:23,160
I stayed in the coach.
582
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:26,120
-Didn't like it.
- What you--
583
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,200
Too many people.
584
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:29,760
Banbury?
585
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:31,440
Banbury at a push.
586
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,560
That's if I need something desperately.
587
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,280
But otherwise you're happy,
Chipping Norton.
588
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:37,960
Chippy Norton, Chadlington, Heythrop.
589
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,640
That's pretty much, yeah, that's me.
590
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,520
You sound like just the saving grace.
591
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,720
It's almost as though God himself
has beamed you down.
592
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,600
Good. Let's go see the tractor.
593
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,720
Wow. Lamborghini!
594
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:50,800
I know.
595
00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:00,280
With Kaleb and I
operating in shifts, the pace picked up.
596
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,560
And it needed to because,
as Charlie kept reminding me,
597
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,000
time was money.
598
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:15,040
If I can get all my winter barley
planted by October the 7th,
599
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:18,320
I can expect next year
a yield of around about
600
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:19,920
three and a half tons an acre.
601
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,640
But if it rains,
602
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,760
or the tractor breaks down and I'm late,
603
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,040
even by so much as a few days,
604
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:32,280
that yield would drop
to perhaps two tons an acre.
605
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,520
Ton and a half down per acre,
606
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:38,920
and each ton is £120.
So over a hundred acres,
607
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,960
I'd be losing £18,000.
608
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,760
Kaleb reckoned however,
that if we kept up this pace,
609
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:56,600
we could have all 435 acres planted
610
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,280
by the deadline of October the 7th.
611
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,960
Bottom field is complete.
612
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,560
Yes, you mighty tractor.
613
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,160
However, just three days
into our labors...
614
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:27,960
When the rain did eventually slacken
48 frustrating hours later,
615
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:29,640
I ventured out again.
616
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:32,960
But I didn't get far.
617
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,920
Right. The bolt has come out of there
618
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,880
and that bolt's come out
and turned the other way round,
619
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,960
which means these discs
aren't turning, which means,
620
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,560
look, I'm just creating
a little mud mountain.
621
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,560
Fucking hell.
622
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:01,960
Come on.
623
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,200
That's just jammed.
624
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,320
-Good.
-Got the new bolt?
625
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:16,280
Right, so the leg's done.
626
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,160
That's done, that's...
so this is working again now.
627
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,280
Yeah, it's all back up together.
628
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:20,320
But it's raining.
629
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,560
The roller on the back here
will pack up with mud
630
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:29,960
and then you'd just be skimming on the top
and hard work to get it unblocked.
631
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,160
Of the 400 acres we needed to tackle,
632
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,640
we'd only managed 150.
633
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,640
Right, well that's alarming because
634
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,600
I now have...
635
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:47,400
I've got nine days.
636
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,000
I've got nine days
to do all those fields down there,
637
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,640
and that means I've got to cultivate them,
638
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,000
and drill it,
639
00:35:58,320 --> 00:35:59,760
and I've got nine days
640
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:03,320
and the weather forecast says it's going
to be raining for the next seven of them.
641
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,360
Why don't farmers all have coronaries?
642
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:20,080
As predicted, the rain continued to fall
for the rest of the week.
643
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,600
But eventually the sun did come out.
644
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:32,160
So, finally, we can start
cultivating again.
645
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,480
Map of where I'm going.
646
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:42,680
Not going.
647
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,160
Why am I not moving? Come on.
648
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:45,760
I've got no drive.
649
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:48,400
Right. What have I forgotten?
650
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,280
Let's have a look.
651
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:54,840
What's going on?
652
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,040
All in fucking German.
653
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,520
Got no book with that, have we?
654
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,320
It's all right. Google translate.
655
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,040
Page not found.
656
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:04,160
Ah!
657
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,960
Is there anyone we can call?
658
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,480
I'm trying to find our dealer,
the nearest one, to call them.
659
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,040
Hello.
-Hi, Peter.
660
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:15,280
Hello.
661
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,960
Hi, it's Jeremy Clarkson
over in Chipping Norton.
662
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,880
Starts, put it in gear
and then let the clutch in and...
663
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:26,360
I would start
with your brake fluid reservoir
664
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:31,280
so it's either low or having
a hissy fit with the level sensor.
665
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,360
Right, reservoirs.
666
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:38,920
This is now Italian.
667
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,840
Now, wait, wait, wait.
Good news, this is in French.
668
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,520
Never been to France.
669
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:47,640
That can't be brakes.
670
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,280
No, that's all to do
with the hydraulics on this.
671
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,560
No. We need a book, don't we?
672
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:53,680
Yes, but we haven't got one.
673
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,160
I mean I've got thousands of books,
have you got a book?
674
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:57,160
No.
675
00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:59,640
Any books?
-No.
676
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,160
-Have you not got a book?
- No.
677
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:02,920
I've got hundreds and hundreds
of books but--
678
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,080
Yeah, but how do you read hundreds
and hundreds of books?
679
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:06,440
-What?
- How do you read them all?
680
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,280
If you've got hundreds of them,
you can't read all of them surely?
681
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,640
-Yes, no, I've read thousands of books.
-Oh, I don't do that.
682
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:12,880
Have you had a haircut?
683
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,960
Yeah, I have. Trying 'em all.
684
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,160
-What?
-I'm trying all different haircuts.
685
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:18,840
-Why?
-Until I get older,
686
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:20,640
you know, 'cause I'm going
to lose all my hair.
687
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,560
-Are you?
-The next thing I'm gonna perm it.
688
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:25,640
Good luck with that.
689
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,080
How many hairstyles have you had?
690
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:28,680
Went from long,
691
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:30,800
top and side,
692
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,600
top, about five in the last,
what, probably--
693
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,160
Have you had a Phil Oakey?
694
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:36,120
What's that?
695
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,120
Human League. Long on one side,
short on the other.
696
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:39,600
No, no, not about that.
697
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,400
-Okay. Anyway, could we just get back...
-Yeah.
698
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,800
Can we just stop talking
about your hairdressing?
699
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:45,120
You brought it up!
-Concentrate...
700
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,560
I just wanted to know
'cause I was making conversation
701
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,600
-while you found the brake reservoir.
-Why?
702
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:54,000
Fucking buy a tractor in the UK,
not in Germany, you'd be all right.
703
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:59,600
Despite much ferreting, we couldn't find
the source of the problem.
704
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,960
-Fuck!
705
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:06,840
Right. That's it.
706
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:10,080
-Cup of tea then.
-Yet another day of no farming.
707
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:11,200
Yeah.
708
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:13,880
We could grease up.
709
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:18,120
-Oh.
-
710
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:22,920
Don't look at me like that.
711
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,200
You mean grease all the nipples.
712
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grease the nipples.
713
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:33,400
Right. We've got an hour,
we can grease nipples.
714
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:42,120
The following day, mercifully,
we were able to get back to work.
715
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,120
I am slightly embarrassed this morning
716
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,800
because the tractor
wasn't actually broken.
717
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:50,640
There's a lever down here
718
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,040
which had got knocked somehow
into neutral,
719
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,800
which is why it wouldn't set off,
720
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,960
and that means I lost
an entire afternoon's farming
721
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,320
because this tractor is...
722
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,480
complicated.
723
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,280
As a result of everything,
724
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:12,040
there was now no hope
of hitting Charlie's deadlines.
725
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,600
We were miles behind with the cultivating,
726
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,320
and we hadn't even started planting
the seeds.
727
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,320
The situation now, I'd call it desperate.
728
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:31,320
Please don't rain.
729
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,280
Please don't rain.
730
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,880
And back at base,
an even bigger issue was developing.
731
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,000
Shit,
that is a really big problem isn't it?
732
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:50,920
Yeah.
733
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,920
See what's happened is,
it's the bag of seed.
734
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,320
We've had it for such a long time now,
735
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,680
not being able to get it in the ground
because of the rain,
736
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,120
which has been going underneath the...
737
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,160
well, the wall of the barn
738
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,760
and the seed has actually started to grow
739
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:04,960
in the bag
740
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:07,640
so you can't feed that
into the drill, can we?
741
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,520
No. If you look underneath,
it's just a carpet of roots.
742
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:13,640
Fuck.
743
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:20,920
We needed to get the remaining seeds
in the ground as quickly as possible.
744
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,160
Right, ho!
745
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:23,600
Even if that meant
746
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:27,040
planting them in fields
that hadn't been cultivated.
747
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:34,600
First, though, I had to get to grips with
the fearsomely complicated seed drill,
748
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:38,200
which turned out
to be neither red nor orange.
749
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,640
So as we go along,
there are nine of these on the--
750
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,840
-Yeah.
-That splits, it creates a little mound.
751
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,400
-That's it, yeah. Creates--
-And then the seed
752
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,760
comes down here, two seeds,
one goes to the left-hand side.
753
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,000
-That's it.
-And one goes to the right,
754
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:53,640
and it's planted...
755
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:55,760
-Like that.
-A couple of inches down.
756
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,080
Yeah, apart, yeah.
757
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,600
-It's machine gunning the ground.
-Yeah.
758
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:01,080
With goodness and nutrients.
759
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,920
A lot to take in, so are you listening?
Are you ready?
760
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,640
-Yeah.
-Yeah? Main menu.
761
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:08,640
Yeah.
762
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,920
Rate. Yeah, so our rate,
763
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,080
we're going on at 220 per kg per hectare.
764
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,200
This is your fan speed, all right.
765
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,640
So in a minute when I turn the fan on,
766
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,640
that's gonna come with a number.
You want it running about 4,000.
767
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:24,920
This is your tram.
So every eighth time you pick it up,
768
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,200
it's going to put a tram line in.
So we're off the tram line.
769
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,640
-What do you mean, off the tram line?
-We're starting a field.
770
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,600
From the last field, we're set
at eight, so this field--
771
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,480
-Eight what?
-Eighth tram line.
772
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,880
-So what that means--
-Kaleb, I've lost complete...
773
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,080
I don't know what you were doing
30 seconds ago.
774
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:44,840
All right.
-I reckon you could drop a cruise missile
775
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:48,160
on Damascus more easily
776
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:52,480
than you could get that drill
to plant some seeds along there.
777
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,040
After baffling me for a bit longer,
778
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,400
Kaleb and I switched seats
and we got cracking.
779
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:03,000
Here we go, and drilling.
780
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,760
Drilling an uncultivated field like this
would mean less yield and,
781
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,640
therefore, less profit
at the end of the year.
782
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:16,520
But, for complicated reasons
to do with carbon in the soil,
783
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,000
it is kinder to the environment.
784
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,200
Greta Thunberg likes this.
785
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,760
Yeah.
I don't know who that is, but yeah.
786
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:27,920
Keep going, keep going, keep going.
787
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,040
Got to be dead straight
because when they start growing,
788
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,200
you're going to have lines
like this if you're not careful.
789
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,800
And people driving up and down
the main road will see it and think--
790
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:37,120
Exactly.
791
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:40,640
I'm gonna have a big sign at the end
saying: "Kaleb did this."
792
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:44,640
You missed a bit.
793
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:46,800
-Where?
-In the mirror.
794
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:48,880
-No, I didn't.
-You did.
795
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,200
They're not gonna see that
from the main road, are they?
796
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:53,400
Most probably.
Everyone will pick up on everything.
797
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,360
Guaranteed. If you make a cock-up
in the middle of nowhere,
798
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:57,640
someone's gonna see it.
799
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,840
They'll go into the pub and go,
"Did you see that bit he missed
800
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:04,400
over in coordinates of this, this, this?"
801
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,600
They will, they'll get the coordinates
of that place
802
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,360
and they'll tell everyone. I do it.
803
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,680
Once he thought
I'd got the hang of it,
804
00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:18,880
Kaleb went off to look after his own
farming stuff, leaving me all alone.
805
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,240
I'm solo, solo drilling.
806
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,720
So Jeremy's out drilling,
which is actually one of the most
807
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,320
complicated parts
of getting crops established.
808
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:40,000
So what he's doing
is going up and down the field,
809
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:44,400
so the seed is being planted
in rows behind the seed drill.
810
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,960
And then the drill will shut off.
811
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:57,200
It will leave two un-drilled sections
which are called tram lines.
812
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,000
We use those tram lines
813
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:04,720
as a guide so that when the sprayer goes
up between them,
814
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,720
we're putting on
the right amount of spray,
815
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,800
putting on the right amount of fertilizer
816
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,680
and hence it's all mathematically laid out
817
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:14,720
so it's a pretty critical part
of the operation.
818
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,080
Oh, shit. Oh, wrong button.
That's the problem.
819
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,240
There it is and there we are.
820
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:27,360
A lot more complicated than cultivating,
this is. A lot more.
821
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,480
Soon I wanted to sit in the sun
having another picnic,
822
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,480
but I was beginning to understand
that in farming
823
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:44,600
you really do have to make hay
while the sun shines.
824
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,560
How many more ups and downs
have I got to do in this field,
825
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,520
and will I get it done before the sunset?
826
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:56,720
What have we got?
One, two...about 30 more, perhaps.
827
00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:59,720
Yeah. If I've got to do 30 more
ups and downs,
828
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:01,840
but it's now quarter to five,
829
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,680
I'm gonna be doing this
with my headlights on.
830
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,720
In order to speed things up I, once again,
831
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,600
decided to replace
the annoying three point turns
832
00:46:14,240 --> 00:46:17,200
with my much faster sweeping manoeuvre.
833
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,520
And here we go.
834
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:22,960
Yes, look at that.
835
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:29,520
It's just me and my drill
and my Lamborghini.
836
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,200
Dropping, and seeding.
837
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:42,600
What a beautiful evening,
838
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,120
in the Cotswolds.
839
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:51,040
However, when Kaleb came back,
the evening mood took a bit of a downturn.
840
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,320
What have you been doing?
841
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,560
What? What do you mean?
842
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:58,240
What have you been doing?
843
00:46:58,320 --> 00:46:59,280
Going up and down.
844
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:00,600
Going up and down like this?
845
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:01,520
No.
846
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,680
I went up and then went across like that.
847
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:04,960
What did I say at the start?
848
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,240
You said don't do that
but I couldn't see why.
849
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,600
Oh, that sign of me going up there
is not happening.
850
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:15,960
We're gonna have a sign saying,
"Guess who drilled this? Jeremy, Kaleb?"
851
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:17,960
Well, what's the matter with that?
852
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,600
I said every eighth time
you're putting a tram line in.
853
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:22,680
Your tram lines are gonna be everywhere.
854
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,680
Down here you're gonna have tram line,
tram line, tram line,
855
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:26,600
tram line, every three meters.
856
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:30,040
On this bit here,
you're gonna have no tram lines.
857
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:33,840
When I come to spray it and fertilize it,
how do I know where to drive?
858
00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:36,080
Guess.
859
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:38,880
I don't know.
I don't know what I'm doing in there.
860
00:47:39,240 --> 00:47:41,000
I'll do it properly now or is it too late?
861
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,120
Oh, it's too late.
You're pretty much screwed.
862
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:46,160
And you haven't even drilled it straight.
863
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:48,400
What do you mean
I haven't drilled it straight?
864
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,640
That's as straight as a roundabout.
865
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,800
Well it's 'cause it started off
bent there by the hedge
866
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:57,960
so it's still bent here.
867
00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,360
It wasn't that bent though, was it?
868
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,600
I didn't know about the eighth thing,
869
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:04,120
you didn't say you must do that
because if you don't--
870
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:05,240
I did tell you that.
871
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:06,520
I couldn't understand
what you were on about.
872
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:07,720
It was country speak.
873
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,120
Everyone is gonna see this.
874
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,000
That's a main road there.
875
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,960
Yes, I know, but I've learned
my lesson now and I won't do it again.
876
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,160
Have you not seen TV episodes
on stuff like that,
877
00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:19,760
on people drilling,
oh, he's going up and down.
878
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,200
No. no, I didn't watch that.
879
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,400
I'll buy you a drink later
and you'll feel better.
880
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:29,720
I'm in so much trouble.
881
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,880
The next day, there was even more trouble.
882
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,600
Most of the oilseed rape fields
planted earlier
883
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:49,200
by the previous farmer were fine.
884
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:52,440
So we've got nice rows of rape,
which has come up really well.
885
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:53,440
Yeah.
886
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:54,680
But in one...
887
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:56,160
Why isn't it growing?
888
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,080
The flea beetle got hold of it, so--
889
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:03,200
-What?
-Whereas the... further up there...
890
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:04,680
I'm sorry,
891
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:06,760
this has been planted?
892
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:07,760
This has been planted.
893
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,760
-Where's the rape gone?
-Well, it's failed.
894
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,640
It's gone.
We might find the odd plant in the middle,
895
00:49:12,720 --> 00:49:14,080
but I'll show you what's happened.
896
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:15,520
The whole field's failed?
897
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,080
Yeah. Just the little
black beetle have come in
898
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:19,720
and they've just foraged it.
899
00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:22,360
The whole bloody lot?
- Yeah.
900
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,280
All four hectares. Ten acres of it.
901
00:49:26,720 --> 00:49:28,840
You know, there comes a point that,
you know--
902
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:31,720
There is no... There's... I just...
903
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:34,880
Because of a beetle?
904
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:35,920
Yeah.
905
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:37,960
Well, why can't we kill it?
906
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:39,400
Well, neonicotinoids are...
907
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:41,640
you know, the seed coatings
were banned in Europe.
908
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,160
-What, so we can't use them?
-We can't use them.
909
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:46,600
I mean this is...
What's the typical yield?
910
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:51,080
So there's about 12 tons,
so there's about £4,000 worth of loss.
911
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:55,080
-£4,000 just gone because of the beetle.
-Just gone, yeah.
912
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,800
And the EU won't let me kill the beetle.
913
00:49:57,920 --> 00:49:59,960
Well, you know,
we've just got to work within the rules.
914
00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:04,640
We are working within the rules
and an entire field is dead.
915
00:50:04,720 --> 00:50:06,360
Yeah.
916
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,480
I figured,
as I climbed back on my tractor,
917
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:16,000
that things couldn't get any worse,
918
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,480
but I was wrong. Very wrong.
919
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,360
The next day it started to rain again,
920
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:30,320
and this time it didn't really stop
for the next six weeks.
921
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:39,600
Across the country, warnings
remain in place for severe weather.
922
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:44,520
Risk of flooding,
risk of transport disruption.
923
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,560
Torrential rain,
a month's worth in a day.
924
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,760
The Wye here
at its highest level since records began,
925
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:51,880
clearly unprecedented.
926
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,800
The Met office says
"presents a danger to life."
927
00:50:56,800 --> 00:51:00,200
...has caused havoc
not seen for almost a century.
928
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:07,320
For British farmers,
the autumn of 2019 was Armageddon.
929
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:12,040
My farm is 700 feet above sea level,
930
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,640
and the brashy soil drains well,
931
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,360
but even it had become a quagmire.
932
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:26,240
And planting seeds in ground like this
is impossible.
933
00:51:31,240 --> 00:51:34,280
I used to while away my evening hours
reading car magazines,
934
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:36,680
but not anymore.
Nowadays it's Farmer's Weekly
935
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:40,520
and it's Farmer's Guardian
and all they're talking about is the rain.
936
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,160
The unbelievable levels of rain
that we've been having.
937
00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:46,920
Look, "Deluge Disaster," "Biblical,"
938
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:51,040
and inside that's the only topic
of conversation as far as I can work out.
939
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:55,280
That's all there is, just rain, rain,
rain, rain, rain, rain, rain.
940
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,280
"Farms sacrificed to protect homes
from rising floodwater."
941
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,720
"Worst autumn
leaves winter crops un-drilled."
942
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,600
This poor guy hasn't planted
a single thing,
943
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,360
can't plant anything, it's too wet.
944
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:09,760
Look at that poor sod.
945
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,640
Look at that for a farm.
What's he gonna do?
946
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,760
Everyone is saying to me
you couldn't have picked
947
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,080
a worse year to start farming.
948
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,480
You couldn't.
This is unbelievable weather.
949
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:24,560
Unbelievable.
950
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:29,800
Oh, God.
951
00:52:39,720 --> 00:52:40,800
Oh, you--
952
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:42,320
So have you looked after sheep before?
953
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:44,440
No.
954
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:45,480
Here they come.
955
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:47,840
No, no, no, no, no, no.
72192
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