All language subtitles for Marlon s01e07 Hospital Party.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,147 --> 00:00:02,916 What's up, people? Welcome to "The Marlon Way." 2 00:00:02,917 --> 00:00:04,651 Me and my ex-wife, Ashley, when we parent, 3 00:00:04,652 --> 00:00:07,333 we do it differently. See, I keep it real, 4 00:00:07,334 --> 00:00:09,368 and she keeps it real emotional. 5 00:00:09,369 --> 00:00:11,403 And when Ashley cries, like most women, 6 00:00:11,404 --> 00:00:12,772 it comes in four stages. 7 00:00:12,773 --> 00:00:14,706 Stage one: Heavy breathing. 8 00:00:14,707 --> 00:00:17,642 [breathing deeply] 9 00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,544 Stage two: [gasps] 10 00:00:19,545 --> 00:00:23,181 They look up into the sky and start fanning their eyes. 11 00:00:23,182 --> 00:00:25,250 Stage three: Lip sucking. 12 00:00:25,251 --> 00:00:28,086 [panting] 13 00:00:28,087 --> 00:00:31,322 Stage four is a full on, ugly cry, 14 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:34,492 buttoned up with a big old Viola Davis snot bubble. 15 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:37,929 Just mucus spread all across her face. 16 00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:41,966 See, men, when we cry, we do it real cool, like Denzel. 17 00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:47,772 Just one tear rolling down our cheek with no expression. 18 00:00:47,773 --> 00:00:49,707 ? Marlon, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ? 19 00:00:49,708 --> 00:00:51,609 ? Marlon, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ? 20 00:00:51,610 --> 00:00:53,244 ? Marlon, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon, Marlon ? 21 00:00:53,245 --> 00:00:58,416 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 22 00:00:58,417 --> 00:01:00,552 [hip-hop music] 23 00:01:00,553 --> 00:01:03,621 Okay. Snacks for Marley, iPad for Zack, 24 00:01:03,622 --> 00:01:05,623 sweatshirts in case the hospital is cold. 25 00:01:05,624 --> 00:01:08,660 What else am I forgetting? Oh, toilet seat covers! 26 00:01:10,296 --> 00:01:12,831 You have your own toilet seat covers? 27 00:01:12,832 --> 00:01:14,599 Don't you? 28 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,168 I hover. 29 00:01:17,169 --> 00:01:19,170 Girl, you need to chill. 30 00:01:19,171 --> 00:01:22,240 Zack's surgery is outpatient. He'll be home in a few hours. 31 00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:24,943 I just like to be prepared. Plus, it keeps me distracted 32 00:01:24,944 --> 00:01:28,112 from thinking about how fragile Zack is. 33 00:01:28,113 --> 00:01:31,049 It's a bird! It's a plane! 34 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:35,453 It's... a kid that's way heavier than I thought he was! 35 00:01:35,454 --> 00:01:37,188 - Whoa! Aah! - [grunts] 36 00:01:37,189 --> 00:01:39,123 Oh, my God! 37 00:01:39,124 --> 00:01:41,860 Marlon, you shouldn't be jiggling him around. 38 00:01:41,861 --> 00:01:44,015 Oh, what's the matter? Mommy's jiggle-jealous? 39 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:45,883 Come here. I got you girl. Come here. 40 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:46,998 Oh, ya. 41 00:01:46,999 --> 00:01:48,781 - Put me down. - Remind you of something? 42 00:01:48,782 --> 00:01:49,855 Marlon! 43 00:01:51,085 --> 00:01:53,159 Okay, listen, he was just a little nervous 44 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:56,062 about going to the hospital, so I just wanted to remind him 45 00:01:56,063 --> 00:01:58,998 that superheroes aren't afraid of anything, right? 46 00:01:58,999 --> 00:02:00,833 What are we gonna do to that bone infection? 47 00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:04,037 We're kicking the bone infection's ass! 48 00:02:04,038 --> 00:02:05,671 Ahem. 49 00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:08,775 Hey, what'd I tell you about saying the word "ass"? 50 00:02:08,776 --> 00:02:11,444 Nothing. 51 00:02:11,445 --> 00:02:14,480 You know, me and you could never rob a bank together. 52 00:02:14,481 --> 00:02:17,550 Zack, you're only gonna need these crutches... 53 00:02:17,551 --> 00:02:18,951 [voice breaking] For a couple more days. 54 00:02:18,952 --> 00:02:23,656 Oh, my God. [mock sobbing] 55 00:02:23,657 --> 00:02:24,857 You see that? The heavy breathing? 56 00:02:24,858 --> 00:02:28,194 [mock sobbing and speaks gibberish] 57 00:02:28,195 --> 00:02:30,730 - Stage one of the ugly cry. - [laughs] 58 00:02:30,731 --> 00:02:33,066 I'm glad you guys think this is funny, 59 00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:34,834 but my baby's having surgery. 60 00:02:34,835 --> 00:02:36,636 Are you sure this isn't gonna hurt? 61 00:02:36,637 --> 00:02:38,604 Honey, remember, it's like we talked about, right? 62 00:02:38,605 --> 00:02:41,174 The doctor's just gonna make a small incision in your leg. 63 00:02:41,175 --> 00:02:42,975 He's gonna clean out the infection. 64 00:02:42,976 --> 00:02:44,243 You'll be on antibiotics for a couple day... 65 00:02:44,244 --> 00:02:48,114 Boy, you gon' be high as hell. 66 00:02:48,115 --> 00:02:49,482 They gon' give you that stuff 67 00:02:49,483 --> 00:02:51,817 that made Bobby and Whitney fall in love. 68 00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,421 Look, you gon' be home by 9:00. 69 00:02:55,422 --> 00:02:58,564 I'ma be beating your behind in "John Madden Football" by 9:05. 70 00:02:58,565 --> 00:03:01,661 Zach, you're good... I prayed on it. 71 00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:04,088 My god is a mighty healer. 72 00:03:04,616 --> 00:03:07,699 Sinners be dropping to their knees in a second, huh? 73 00:03:07,879 --> 00:03:10,925 God, it's me Yvette. 74 00:03:10,926 --> 00:03:13,989 I holla at you the last time I needed something. 75 00:03:15,576 --> 00:03:19,659 God knows my heart, and you can trust and believe that. 76 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:23,863 I trust and believe God's gon' be ducking your calls. 77 00:03:23,864 --> 00:03:25,832 He gon' be up there like, "Is that Yvette? 78 00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:29,602 "Jesus, I ain't here! Quick, turn out the sun! 79 00:03:29,603 --> 00:03:32,772 Close the clouds!" 80 00:03:32,773 --> 00:03:36,343 Jesus loves me. This I know. 81 00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:38,545 Um, I think that's Jes�s. 82 00:03:40,247 --> 00:03:45,485 And he owns an auto body shop right down there on Crenshaw. 83 00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:47,921 Well, Jes�s fixed my fender for half price. 84 00:03:47,922 --> 00:03:50,190 So, ha-ha! [snaps fingers] 85 00:03:53,194 --> 00:03:55,829 Marley! It's time for us to go. 86 00:03:55,830 --> 00:03:58,331 I'm ready. I was just making some chocolate milk for Zack. 87 00:03:58,332 --> 00:04:00,333 Come on, let's race. Let's go. Come on, come on. 88 00:04:00,334 --> 00:04:02,335 That's as fast as you can go? Come on, I got you. 89 00:04:02,336 --> 00:04:04,504 I do that backwards. You can't get this, boy. 90 00:04:06,874 --> 00:04:10,310 What in the ninja was that? 91 00:04:10,311 --> 00:04:12,812 - We need to talk. - I don't like conversations 92 00:04:12,813 --> 00:04:14,781 that start with "We need to talk," 93 00:04:14,782 --> 00:04:16,015 'cause it's never nothing good. 94 00:04:16,016 --> 00:04:17,951 It's never like, "Hey, we need to talk. 95 00:04:17,952 --> 00:04:19,386 "I think you're really cool, and I want to give you 96 00:04:19,387 --> 00:04:21,321 a billion dollars." No, it's always like, 97 00:04:21,322 --> 00:04:24,958 "I saw the doctor, and I think you should too. 98 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:27,193 I'm pregnant. It's not yours." 99 00:04:29,597 --> 00:04:32,132 Marlon, I know we're only gonna be in the hospital 100 00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:35,135 for six hours, but that can be very stressful on parents. 101 00:04:35,136 --> 00:04:37,103 - Mm-hmm. - And in situations like these, 102 00:04:37,104 --> 00:04:38,972 I also know you can be very... 103 00:04:38,973 --> 00:04:39,939 - Sexy? - No. 104 00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:41,074 - Charismatic? - No. 105 00:04:41,075 --> 00:04:43,643 - Did I say sexy? - Marlon! 106 00:04:43,644 --> 00:04:45,779 This is what I'm talking about. You being you. 107 00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:47,781 It reminds me of why we got divorced. 108 00:04:47,782 --> 00:04:50,383 Look, I was just trying to lighten the mood for Zack, okay? 109 00:04:50,384 --> 00:04:51,851 He's going to surgery, and I just wanted to, you know, 110 00:04:51,852 --> 00:04:53,286 make everything easy for him. 111 00:04:53,287 --> 00:04:54,521 And I just need to make sure 112 00:04:54,522 --> 00:04:56,222 that everything goes smoothly, 113 00:04:56,223 --> 00:04:57,657 which is why I need you to be... 114 00:04:57,658 --> 00:04:59,292 Sexy? 115 00:04:59,293 --> 00:05:01,394 Oh, my God. 116 00:05:01,395 --> 00:05:04,464 ? 117 00:05:04,465 --> 00:05:05,565 ? Holla ? 118 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:09,636 [imitates tires screeching] 119 00:05:09,637 --> 00:05:11,037 [imitates engine revving] 120 00:05:11,038 --> 00:05:12,205 [panting] 121 00:05:12,206 --> 00:05:14,407 Where have you been? 122 00:05:14,408 --> 00:05:19,112 We was out there beating cancer... 123 00:05:19,113 --> 00:05:22,982 kids in wheelchair races. 124 00:05:22,983 --> 00:05:24,350 That was a really weird place to put a pause. 125 00:05:24,351 --> 00:05:26,019 Yeah. Uh-huh. 126 00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:29,122 Come on, let's get you out of here, buddy. 127 00:05:29,123 --> 00:05:31,191 Get this. When you park here, 128 00:05:31,192 --> 00:05:33,026 you have to pay for an entire day. 129 00:05:33,027 --> 00:05:35,728 $42! Well, that's not gonna happen. 130 00:05:35,729 --> 00:05:37,664 I gotta talk to somebody about this. 131 00:05:39,767 --> 00:05:43,069 Can I have $42? 132 00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:44,804 No. 133 00:05:44,805 --> 00:05:46,940 I gotta talk to someone else about this! 134 00:05:46,941 --> 00:05:48,541 I'm Nurse Patrice. 135 00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:50,643 Don't let my bubbly demeanor fool you. 136 00:05:50,644 --> 00:05:52,312 I don't play. 137 00:05:52,313 --> 00:05:54,647 Hi, Patrice. It's wonderful to meet you. 138 00:05:54,648 --> 00:05:56,716 I'm Ashley Wayne, this is our son, Zack, 139 00:05:56,717 --> 00:05:58,451 and this is my ex-husband, Marlon. 140 00:05:58,452 --> 00:06:00,153 Hey there, Nurse Ratched. 141 00:06:04,225 --> 00:06:06,125 I like your little Crocs. 142 00:06:06,126 --> 00:06:09,329 They're comfortable, yet stylish, just like you. 143 00:06:09,330 --> 00:06:11,464 [chuckles] 144 00:06:11,465 --> 00:06:14,100 I'll be back to put an IV in. 145 00:06:14,101 --> 00:06:15,602 - [scoffs] - [mocking scoff] 146 00:06:17,371 --> 00:06:20,907 Oh, I like 'em ghetto like that, boy. 147 00:06:20,908 --> 00:06:24,177 She smell like Newports, Juicy Fruit, and gunpowder. 148 00:06:26,714 --> 00:06:28,848 I don't think that lady likes us. 149 00:06:28,849 --> 00:06:30,683 No, no. She don't like you, 150 00:06:30,684 --> 00:06:34,287 and she definitely don't like you, but she's feeling Daddy. 151 00:06:34,288 --> 00:06:35,989 Marlon, that was our one chance 152 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:38,725 to get in good with the nurse, who is the gatekeeper 153 00:06:38,726 --> 00:06:40,660 for everything we need while we're here. 154 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,662 I know, and she's also scary as hell. 155 00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:44,631 I was just trying to, you know, lighten things up. 156 00:06:44,632 --> 00:06:46,499 Hello. I'm John Pepper. 157 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,635 I'll be performing Zack's surgery today. 158 00:06:48,636 --> 00:06:50,069 - Hi, Doc. - Are you the guy 159 00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:51,771 that's gonna cut me open? 160 00:06:51,772 --> 00:06:53,973 Honey, the doctor's done this hundreds of times. 161 00:06:53,974 --> 00:06:55,642 There's nothing out of the ordinary. 162 00:06:55,643 --> 00:06:58,878 Except for the fact that the man's name is Dr. Pepper. 163 00:06:58,879 --> 00:07:01,581 And ain't nobody gonna acknowledge it? 164 00:07:01,582 --> 00:07:04,717 Yeah, yeah. He named like a soda. 165 00:07:04,718 --> 00:07:06,352 Hey, Dr. Pepper. 166 00:07:06,353 --> 00:07:08,321 You ever go skiing up on Mountain Dew? 167 00:07:08,322 --> 00:07:10,223 Take Dr. Brown and Mr. Pibb with you, 168 00:07:10,224 --> 00:07:12,792 and you pick up the Tab? Ha-ha! 169 00:07:12,793 --> 00:07:13,993 - Marlon! - Hmm? 170 00:07:13,994 --> 00:07:15,228 No more soda jokes. 171 00:07:15,229 --> 00:07:18,131 That's okay. I heard them all. 172 00:07:18,132 --> 00:07:19,499 That must be Diet Dr. Pepper. 173 00:07:22,269 --> 00:07:25,104 I stand corrected. 174 00:07:25,105 --> 00:07:27,507 [sighs] Sorry it took so long to get the coffee. 175 00:07:27,508 --> 00:07:29,842 Aunt Yvette asked a doctor to take her pulse. 176 00:07:29,843 --> 00:07:34,047 Well, it was going well until I found out he's a nurse. 177 00:07:34,048 --> 00:07:35,815 Zack's not having surgery today. 178 00:07:35,816 --> 00:07:38,217 - Mmm! - The Lord fixed it! 179 00:07:38,218 --> 00:07:39,952 ? Won't he do it? ? 180 00:07:41,655 --> 00:07:44,524 No, I mean, we need to delay his procedure. 181 00:07:44,525 --> 00:07:47,226 His white blood cell count needs to level out. 182 00:07:47,227 --> 00:07:50,129 Uh, keep him relaxed. You're probably gonna stay here 183 00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:53,066 - for two or three days. - Three days? 184 00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:55,868 You guys promised I was gonna be out of here by tonight. 185 00:07:55,869 --> 00:07:58,705 - Oh, honey, it's gonna be fine. - Fine? 186 00:07:58,706 --> 00:08:01,374 It's gonna be great, man. It's gonna be off the... man! 187 00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:04,777 This is me and you at a three-day hospital party! 188 00:08:04,778 --> 00:08:06,412 What? We gon' turn up, turn up, 189 00:08:06,413 --> 00:08:08,181 turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up! 190 00:08:08,182 --> 00:08:10,283 [grunting] Haa! 191 00:08:10,284 --> 00:08:13,820 Marlon and I in one room for three days? 192 00:08:13,821 --> 00:08:15,355 All right. I can do this. 193 00:08:15,356 --> 00:08:17,056 I don't know. 194 00:08:17,057 --> 00:08:19,525 I saw on "Dr. Phil" this couple that was stuck 195 00:08:19,526 --> 00:08:22,695 in the hospital with their kid, and they got so stressed, 196 00:08:22,696 --> 00:08:25,965 the dude knocked his wife out with a bedpan. 197 00:08:25,966 --> 00:08:27,567 Oh, clear! Pow! 198 00:08:27,568 --> 00:08:29,902 Ohh! Whoa! 199 00:08:29,903 --> 00:08:32,438 - Bop! Ohh! - [groans] 200 00:08:32,439 --> 00:08:35,942 All I'm saying is you better get to that bedpan first. 201 00:08:35,943 --> 00:08:38,478 ? 202 00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:41,601 [hip-hop music] 203 00:08:41,602 --> 00:08:43,737 Oh, Stevie. That's so sweet. 204 00:08:43,738 --> 00:08:45,205 You stayed to support Zack. 205 00:08:45,206 --> 00:08:47,874 I'm also sticking around to get my $42 worth. 206 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,043 I've already collected ACE bandages, rubber gloves, 207 00:08:50,044 --> 00:08:53,980 and an insane amount of baby Tylenol. 208 00:08:53,981 --> 00:08:56,483 Came to get another pillowcase. 209 00:08:56,484 --> 00:09:00,619 I just saw a cart full of unattended Jell-O cups. 210 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,388 Zack, it's gonna be good. 211 00:09:02,389 --> 00:09:03,889 Feel better, buddy. Bye. 212 00:09:05,492 --> 00:09:07,593 I wish I didn't have to spend the night here. 213 00:09:07,594 --> 00:09:10,329 I know, but you know what? 214 00:09:10,330 --> 00:09:14,700 Mommy has something that I think might cheer you up. 215 00:09:14,701 --> 00:09:17,102 Boom! His name is Babby. 216 00:09:17,103 --> 00:09:20,172 He's seen better days, but my mom gave him to me 217 00:09:20,173 --> 00:09:22,441 when I was having my tonsils taken out, 218 00:09:22,442 --> 00:09:25,678 and he held my hand the entire time. 219 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,313 He was so... [sobbing] 220 00:09:28,314 --> 00:09:30,649 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 221 00:09:30,650 --> 00:09:32,518 Why is Mommy in stage two? 222 00:09:34,287 --> 00:09:37,056 I think she was trying to cheer me up. 223 00:09:37,057 --> 00:09:39,992 It looks like Babby's the one that needs cheering up. 224 00:09:39,993 --> 00:09:41,660 This little ghetto bunny. 225 00:09:41,661 --> 00:09:45,164 Look like he got beat up all down Sesame Street. 226 00:09:45,165 --> 00:09:47,466 Like he got jumped by Big Bird and Snuffleupagus. 227 00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:49,401 They was like, "You better bring your ass home 228 00:09:49,402 --> 00:09:51,003 before the streetlights come on, little homey!" 229 00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:55,841 [both laugh] 230 00:09:55,842 --> 00:09:58,911 Hey, Mommy, um... 231 00:09:58,912 --> 00:10:01,246 What is wrong with you? I leave for five minutes, 232 00:10:01,247 --> 00:10:04,650 I come back, you crying like Obama's leaving office. 233 00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:09,822 - You got to keep it together. - I'm sorry, okay? 234 00:10:09,823 --> 00:10:12,057 It got the best of me for a second. 235 00:10:12,058 --> 00:10:14,460 Marlon, what is this? 236 00:10:14,461 --> 00:10:16,595 I sent you home for schoolbooks, toothbrushes, 237 00:10:16,596 --> 00:10:18,063 and clean underwear. 238 00:10:18,064 --> 00:10:19,665 Come on, it's a hospital. 239 00:10:19,666 --> 00:10:20,933 Ain't nobody need clean underwear. 240 00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:22,801 They got them gowns with they ass out. 241 00:10:22,802 --> 00:10:25,671 So you ignored everything I said? 242 00:10:25,672 --> 00:10:27,973 Yeah, pretty much. Hey, Zack. 243 00:10:27,974 --> 00:10:31,343 I got a TV, Xbox, and four bags of Doritos. 244 00:10:31,344 --> 00:10:33,345 [chuckles] Awesome! Thanks, Dad! 245 00:10:33,346 --> 00:10:34,446 - My dude. - My dude. 246 00:10:34,447 --> 00:10:35,547 - My dude! - My dude! 247 00:10:35,548 --> 00:10:37,950 - My dude... - Marlon! 248 00:10:37,951 --> 00:10:40,486 Dr. Pepper said he's supposed to be relaxing. 249 00:10:40,487 --> 00:10:43,856 You always pick being fun over being responsible. 250 00:10:43,857 --> 00:10:47,226 It's just like when I told you that the kids weren't ready 251 00:10:47,227 --> 00:10:49,528 for a puppy, and you went out and got them a puppy. 252 00:10:49,529 --> 00:10:51,330 How they gonna ready for a puppy 253 00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:53,365 if they don't have a puppy? 254 00:10:53,366 --> 00:10:55,601 Do you remember what happened to that puppy? 255 00:10:55,602 --> 00:10:57,202 The kids forgot to bring him inside 256 00:10:57,203 --> 00:10:59,004 and he was killed by coyotes. 257 00:10:59,005 --> 00:11:02,207 I like to think that Boscoe was taken in by the pack, 258 00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:06,044 and now he runs with a group of wild dogs. 259 00:11:06,045 --> 00:11:10,015 [whispers] We found his ear in the hot tub. 260 00:11:10,016 --> 00:11:14,052 Yeah, but that was his gang initiation. 261 00:11:14,053 --> 00:11:15,821 See, you always have a negative spin 262 00:11:15,822 --> 00:11:17,389 on the whole Boscoe experience. 263 00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:20,692 You know that was the best 11 hours of our life? 264 00:11:20,693 --> 00:11:22,961 Oh, boy. 265 00:11:22,962 --> 00:11:24,830 All right, funny man. There's your cot. 266 00:11:24,831 --> 00:11:26,832 I'm sorry. Excuse me. We're gonna need two. 267 00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:28,300 Oh, it's only one per family, 268 00:11:28,301 --> 00:11:29,735 so y'all gon' have to work that out. 269 00:11:29,736 --> 00:11:30,936 I gotta find some fool running round here 270 00:11:30,937 --> 00:11:32,457 with a pillowcase stealing things. 271 00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:33,664 Excuse me. 272 00:11:34,674 --> 00:11:36,008 All right. You heard that. 273 00:11:36,009 --> 00:11:39,845 We only got one cot, so no funny stuff, okay? 274 00:11:39,846 --> 00:11:44,716 This bed right here is for sleeping, not creeping. 275 00:11:44,717 --> 00:11:47,419 ? 276 00:11:47,420 --> 00:11:49,821 Would you scootch over? 277 00:11:49,823 --> 00:11:52,357 I have scootched as far as I'm gonna scootch. 278 00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:54,693 Deal with it. 279 00:11:54,694 --> 00:11:56,595 This is just like our marriage. 280 00:11:56,596 --> 00:11:59,431 Oh, you mean, where I appreciate the seriousness 281 00:11:59,432 --> 00:12:03,001 of the situation, and you make everything into a joke? 282 00:12:03,002 --> 00:12:04,636 No. 283 00:12:04,637 --> 00:12:07,272 Where we lie in bed waiting for you to be less angry 284 00:12:07,273 --> 00:12:10,375 so I can finally get some. 285 00:12:10,376 --> 00:12:12,211 You know what? Go on. Make your jokes. 286 00:12:12,212 --> 00:12:15,213 The doctor says Zack is supposed to relax, and you keep him up 287 00:12:15,215 --> 00:12:17,649 all night playing video games and eating junk food. 288 00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:19,151 Oh, yeah, that's right. 289 00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:21,153 I was supposed to not let our kids have any fun 290 00:12:21,154 --> 00:12:23,555 because Ashley wants to keep things super serious. 291 00:12:23,556 --> 00:12:25,123 You know, this is just like the time... 292 00:12:25,124 --> 00:12:27,259 Oh, do not bring up the bounce house! 293 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,228 The bounce house! 294 00:12:29,229 --> 00:12:30,991 I wanted to get Marley a bounce house 295 00:12:30,992 --> 00:12:33,298 for her sixth birthday, and you said we couldn't 296 00:12:33,299 --> 00:12:36,235 because you read an article about three kids 297 00:12:36,236 --> 00:12:38,604 that got blown away in a rogue bounce house. 298 00:12:38,605 --> 00:12:40,272 Yeah, and you know what? 299 00:12:40,273 --> 00:12:43,175 I found a replacement that was just as fun. 300 00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:46,812 You replaced it with a mime. A mime? 301 00:12:46,813 --> 00:12:49,848 Oh, forgive me for wanting to protect our children 302 00:12:49,849 --> 00:12:51,984 from a windy, bouncy death. 303 00:12:51,985 --> 00:12:54,620 And I'm sorry that I care about our son being sick. 304 00:12:54,621 --> 00:12:55,988 He's fine. 305 00:12:55,989 --> 00:12:58,724 - He's never felt better. - Mom? 306 00:12:58,725 --> 00:12:59,992 I think I'm gonna be sick. 307 00:12:59,993 --> 00:13:03,195 I ate too many Doritos. 308 00:13:03,196 --> 00:13:06,965 Look, he's not thinking about his leg anymore. 309 00:13:06,966 --> 00:13:09,167 [sighs] You know what? 310 00:13:09,168 --> 00:13:11,169 Today, we did things the Marlon way: 311 00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:12,704 All fun and games. 312 00:13:12,705 --> 00:13:14,806 But I'm his parent, too. So tomorrow, 313 00:13:14,807 --> 00:13:15,974 he's gonna relax my way. 314 00:13:15,975 --> 00:13:18,477 The hospital party stops. 315 00:13:18,478 --> 00:13:22,247 What you gon' do? Call your mime? 316 00:13:22,248 --> 00:13:23,582 [imitates phone ringing] 317 00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:25,417 Hello? I can't get to the phone right now 318 00:13:25,418 --> 00:13:27,920 because I'm stuck in a box. 319 00:13:27,921 --> 00:13:30,322 ? 320 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:33,342 [hip-hop music] 321 00:13:33,343 --> 00:13:35,144 Oh, I didn't sleep a wink 322 00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:38,114 because Marlon was kicking me all night in that tiny cot. 323 00:13:38,115 --> 00:13:40,616 Well, girl, Marley started telling me something 324 00:13:40,617 --> 00:13:44,620 about Harry Potter and them, and I passed out like a light. 325 00:13:44,621 --> 00:13:47,423 I think the wine might've helped. 326 00:13:47,424 --> 00:13:49,325 Ahem. 327 00:13:49,326 --> 00:13:52,728 Hi, Patrice. Um, do you have any tape? 328 00:13:52,729 --> 00:13:56,332 I want to hang this "quiet zone" sign outside of my son's door. 329 00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:59,100 Zack really should relax, so I want to keep things 330 00:13:59,101 --> 00:14:00,936 as low-key as possible. 331 00:14:00,937 --> 00:14:03,438 [muffled funk music playing] 332 00:14:03,439 --> 00:14:04,906 What the hell? 333 00:14:04,907 --> 00:14:08,810 ? 334 00:14:08,811 --> 00:14:11,746 Marlon! What are you doing? 335 00:14:11,747 --> 00:14:14,649 I'm doing the running man, Zack's doing the rolling man, 336 00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:16,518 and Stevie's doing the... 337 00:14:16,519 --> 00:14:19,220 I don't know what the hell you doing, man. 338 00:14:19,221 --> 00:14:26,027 Mom! Do your dance with Dad! 339 00:14:26,028 --> 00:14:28,630 Marlon, today was supposed to be low-key, okay? 340 00:14:28,631 --> 00:14:31,066 I mean, I brought puzzles and games, 341 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:33,168 and I thought the party was about to stop. 342 00:14:33,169 --> 00:14:35,570 We were, but then the doctor came, 343 00:14:35,571 --> 00:14:38,239 and he wanted to run more tests, so Zack got scared. 344 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,008 So I had to kick it up a notch. 345 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,043 Man, I'm so glad black couples 346 00:14:42,044 --> 00:14:43,712 always got a rehearsed dance on deck. 347 00:14:43,713 --> 00:14:45,380 - Hey! Hey! - Okay, Marlon! 348 00:14:45,381 --> 00:14:46,588 - Come on, hit this one! - I'm done! 349 00:14:46,589 --> 00:14:47,916 Oh, come on. What? 350 00:14:47,917 --> 00:14:48,950 You don't think I can do the splits? 351 00:14:48,951 --> 00:14:50,051 Watch this. Drop down! 352 00:14:50,052 --> 00:14:52,821 Ohh! Okay. 353 00:14:52,822 --> 00:14:55,824 All right. All right. 354 00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:58,893 Marlon, the last two days have been 355 00:14:58,894 --> 00:15:00,996 exactly like our marriage all over again. 356 00:15:00,997 --> 00:15:03,632 You have ignored everything I've asked you to do. 357 00:15:03,633 --> 00:15:05,897 Yeah, 'cause you trying to control everything that I do. 358 00:15:05,898 --> 00:15:08,770 Okay, enough! Party over! 359 00:15:08,771 --> 00:15:10,739 Good news. Zack's blood work came back 360 00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:11,873 and it's a go for surgery. 361 00:15:11,874 --> 00:15:14,542 [dramatic musical sting] 362 00:15:16,846 --> 00:15:18,413 [elevator bell dings] - We'll be right here 363 00:15:18,414 --> 00:15:20,882 - when you get out, okay? - Okay. 364 00:15:20,883 --> 00:15:22,751 Yeah, and you'll back to making 365 00:15:22,752 --> 00:15:25,020 my life miserable before you know it. 366 00:15:25,021 --> 00:15:27,522 [chuckles] You hear them sounding all sappy? 367 00:15:27,523 --> 00:15:29,691 You tell 'em what we gon' do to that bone infection. 368 00:15:29,692 --> 00:15:31,459 We're gonna kick its... 369 00:15:32,428 --> 00:15:35,196 - Ass. - You're damn right we are. 370 00:15:35,197 --> 00:15:36,665 [chuckles] 371 00:15:36,666 --> 00:15:39,267 My guy. 372 00:15:39,268 --> 00:15:42,170 Hey, Doc, do me a favor? When you're in there, 373 00:15:42,171 --> 00:15:44,272 can you please do something 'bout his stank breath 374 00:15:44,273 --> 00:15:46,174 and his crusty feet? 375 00:15:46,175 --> 00:15:48,343 And if you could re-circumcise him, that'd be nice. 376 00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:50,545 It's a little crooked. 377 00:15:56,385 --> 00:15:58,953 - Mom? - Yeah, sweetheart? 378 00:15:58,954 --> 00:16:01,423 Can I take Babby with me? 379 00:16:01,424 --> 00:16:03,424 Of course you can. 380 00:16:05,928 --> 00:16:07,762 - I love you. - I love you, too. 381 00:16:16,706 --> 00:16:19,074 Okay, Marlon. 382 00:16:19,075 --> 00:16:20,809 Now I need jokes. 383 00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:21,976 [exhales] 384 00:16:21,977 --> 00:16:23,945 [voice breaking] Yeah. 385 00:16:23,946 --> 00:16:25,814 I'm writing 'em. 386 00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:29,784 - Marlon? - Hmm? 387 00:16:29,785 --> 00:16:32,487 - Are you okay? - Yeah. [clears throat] 388 00:16:32,488 --> 00:16:33,822 Yeah, I'm fine. 389 00:16:33,823 --> 00:16:37,992 Just, like, something in my eye. 390 00:16:37,993 --> 00:16:38,993 I'm good, though. 391 00:16:38,994 --> 00:16:44,699 [gasping sobs] 392 00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:48,837 They gonna take my baby under the knife! 393 00:16:48,838 --> 00:16:52,474 Oh, Lord, take me instead! 394 00:16:52,475 --> 00:16:54,476 Lord! Oh! 395 00:16:54,477 --> 00:16:58,680 [sobbing loudly] Oh, Lord! 396 00:16:58,681 --> 00:17:01,649 Take me instead! [sniffles] 397 00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:05,153 Take me instead! 398 00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:08,323 [loudly wailing] 399 00:17:10,292 --> 00:17:12,060 Come on, Marlon. Get up. Get up. 400 00:17:12,061 --> 00:17:14,195 - You gon' be all right. - Both: He's gonna be fine. 401 00:17:14,196 --> 00:17:15,764 - Baby girl, it's gon'... - Mm-mm, no. 402 00:17:15,765 --> 00:17:18,132 It's gon' be all right. Come on, baby. 403 00:17:18,134 --> 00:17:21,770 [shushing and gasping sobs] 404 00:17:21,771 --> 00:17:24,305 - Mom? - Hold me, baby girl. 405 00:17:24,306 --> 00:17:25,940 - [groans] - Hold Daddy. 406 00:17:25,941 --> 00:17:28,243 - No, Daddy, no! - Dad! 407 00:17:28,244 --> 00:17:30,078 - Daddy, no! - Mama! 408 00:17:30,079 --> 00:17:33,047 Oh, Lord, why'd you have the take the baby? 409 00:17:33,048 --> 00:17:36,684 Don't take this one, God! 410 00:17:36,685 --> 00:17:38,553 - You take our baby home. - Mom! 411 00:17:38,554 --> 00:17:41,956 Get out of here. I'm going to get our son. 412 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,127 - Go! Come on! - [screams] 413 00:17:46,128 --> 00:17:48,563 They ain't gon' do this! [all screaming] 414 00:17:48,564 --> 00:17:50,732 - No, no, no. - Marlon! 415 00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:52,367 No! Don't take... Don't take him! 416 00:17:52,368 --> 00:17:54,669 - Daddy! Dad! - Don't take him! 417 00:17:54,670 --> 00:17:56,738 - Marlon! - Take me instead! 418 00:17:56,739 --> 00:17:58,006 - Take me instead! - Marlon! 419 00:17:58,007 --> 00:17:59,941 Don't take my boy! 420 00:17:59,942 --> 00:18:02,544 Dad, get off me! 421 00:18:02,545 --> 00:18:03,912 - [shouts] - Marlon? 422 00:18:03,913 --> 00:18:06,581 I got Babby! I got Babby! Come on! 423 00:18:07,808 --> 00:18:11,843 [hip-hop music] 424 00:18:15,132 --> 00:18:18,135 - Where's Zack? - He's in recovery. 425 00:18:18,136 --> 00:18:20,170 Dr. Pepper says he's doing great. 426 00:18:20,171 --> 00:18:21,238 Good. 427 00:18:21,239 --> 00:18:22,940 You, on the other hand, 428 00:18:22,941 --> 00:18:27,210 cried so hard, you lost a lot of fluid... 429 00:18:27,211 --> 00:18:31,281 and dignity. 430 00:18:31,282 --> 00:18:33,383 [chuckles] Why you smiling? 431 00:18:33,384 --> 00:18:35,385 'Cause I get it now. 432 00:18:35,386 --> 00:18:37,955 You weren't just being an unemotional jackass. 433 00:18:37,956 --> 00:18:39,923 You were being strong for Zack. 434 00:18:39,924 --> 00:18:42,059 Yeah. 435 00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:46,430 If Zack would've saw me scared, then he would've gotten scared. 436 00:18:46,431 --> 00:18:48,598 Daddies are Superman. 437 00:18:48,599 --> 00:18:50,666 Kids don't want to see us as Clark Kent. 438 00:18:52,669 --> 00:18:55,572 I'm sorry if I've been so uptight. 439 00:18:55,573 --> 00:18:59,943 It's just, when I get stressed, I have to control everything. 440 00:18:59,944 --> 00:19:03,280 Yeah, well, when I get stressed... 441 00:19:03,281 --> 00:19:06,616 [scoffs] I don't stress. 442 00:19:06,617 --> 00:19:08,952 I just have fun. 443 00:19:08,953 --> 00:19:12,456 - We are very different people. - Yes, we are. 444 00:19:12,457 --> 00:19:15,292 It's amazing we stayed married for 16 years. 445 00:19:15,293 --> 00:19:19,629 Yeah, I knew you was crazy after the first six months. 446 00:19:19,630 --> 00:19:23,467 [both laugh] 447 00:19:23,468 --> 00:19:24,768 We are very different people, 448 00:19:24,769 --> 00:19:28,071 and maybe that made us bad spouses, 449 00:19:28,072 --> 00:19:31,308 but I think that's what makes us great parents. 450 00:19:31,309 --> 00:19:32,976 Because you know what? 451 00:19:32,977 --> 00:19:35,812 You'll never let our babies blow away in a bouncy house. 452 00:19:35,813 --> 00:19:38,982 And you're always gonna bring home a puppy... 453 00:19:38,983 --> 00:19:42,486 who will be killed by a pack of coyotes. 454 00:19:42,487 --> 00:19:43,653 I'm telling you, 455 00:19:43,654 --> 00:19:44,955 that one-eared Pomeranian 456 00:19:44,956 --> 00:19:47,691 is running that crew. 457 00:19:47,692 --> 00:19:50,827 ? 458 00:19:50,828 --> 00:19:52,662 All right. Come on in. 459 00:19:52,663 --> 00:19:54,998 Keep your eyes closed. Hey, no sneaky peaking. 460 00:19:54,999 --> 00:19:56,867 None of this. 461 00:19:56,868 --> 00:19:59,002 I see you. I know you. I'm watching you. 462 00:19:59,003 --> 00:20:00,537 You did the same thing at Christmas. 463 00:20:00,538 --> 00:20:02,178 That's why I took them Jordans back 464 00:20:02,179 --> 00:20:03,840 and bought your ass some Starburys. 465 00:20:03,841 --> 00:20:05,208 - Marlon? - Hmm? 466 00:20:05,209 --> 00:20:07,044 - What are you doing? - Okay. 467 00:20:07,045 --> 00:20:09,346 It's been two weeks since Zack's surgery, 468 00:20:09,347 --> 00:20:11,381 and Dr. Pepper said he's at 100%, 469 00:20:11,382 --> 00:20:14,017 so I want to take his little leg on a test run. 470 00:20:14,018 --> 00:20:15,685 All right, you guys. Open. 471 00:20:15,686 --> 00:20:17,888 Both: Surprise! 472 00:20:17,889 --> 00:20:20,991 Bounce house! 473 00:20:20,992 --> 00:20:23,860 - You are out of your mind. - Yes, I am. 474 00:20:23,861 --> 00:20:26,897 Hey, this way, we can have a bounce house 475 00:20:26,898 --> 00:20:28,932 with the certainty it won't blow away. 476 00:20:28,933 --> 00:20:31,501 Well, unless somebody real fat jump in and it just pop. 477 00:20:31,502 --> 00:20:33,637 Pow! [blows raspberry] 478 00:20:33,638 --> 00:20:35,505 [laughs] 479 00:20:35,506 --> 00:20:37,874 Oh! Hey! 480 00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:39,876 - Come on, Ash! - Come on! 481 00:20:39,877 --> 00:20:41,545 - Come on in! - Come on! 482 00:20:41,546 --> 00:20:43,447 - Come on, Mama. - Come on, Mom! 483 00:20:43,448 --> 00:20:45,348 Make room for Mama! 484 00:20:45,349 --> 00:20:46,483 Yay! 485 00:20:46,484 --> 00:20:49,052 [laughter and cheering] 486 00:20:49,053 --> 00:20:51,621 [coyotes howling] 487 00:20:51,622 --> 00:20:53,099 [small dog barking] 488 00:20:53,178 --> 00:20:55,521 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 489 00:20:55,571 --> 00:21:00,121 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36215

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