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1
00:00:00,341 --> 00:00:02,022
[percussive music]
2
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Good morning, Rosa.
3
00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,409
Whoop, whoop, whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop!
4
00:00:06,495 --> 00:00:07,744
It's the caffeine police.
5
00:00:07,829 --> 00:00:10,363
You have the right to a cup of coffee.
6
00:00:10,415 --> 00:00:11,998
Oh, thanks. You didn't have to do that.
7
00:00:12,034 --> 00:00:13,366
Hey, that's what friends are for,
8
00:00:13,452 --> 00:00:16,753
and, uh, the lady
likes extra soy, right?
9
00:00:16,838 --> 00:00:18,505
[sobs] Mm-hmm.
10
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:21,141
There's also almond milk.
I could go back for almond.
11
00:00:21,210 --> 00:00:22,943
[sniffles] I'm sorry.
12
00:00:23,011 --> 00:00:24,544
Oh, my God this is so embarrassing.
13
00:00:24,613 --> 00:00:27,080
Um. [chuckles]
14
00:00:27,115 --> 00:00:28,615
[inhales sharply]
15
00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:31,418
Uh, I broke up with my
boyfriend last night.
16
00:00:31,453 --> 00:00:33,620
You what?
17
00:00:33,672 --> 00:00:35,255
[whispering] What?
18
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:36,256
[sighs] Yeah.
19
00:00:36,291 --> 00:00:37,290
What?
20
00:00:37,376 --> 00:00:39,376
Oh, my God.
21
00:00:39,461 --> 00:00:40,594
[whispers] Yeah.
22
00:00:40,629 --> 00:00:42,462
I am so sorry, Rosa.
23
00:00:42,514 --> 00:00:46,132
[feet tapping]
24
00:00:46,218 --> 00:00:49,185
You sure it wasn't
just, like, a bad fight?
25
00:00:49,271 --> 00:00:50,937
I mean, I'm... I'm just floored.
26
00:00:50,939 --> 00:00:53,625
You guys are so perfect together.
27
00:00:53,745 --> 00:00:55,858
It always seemed like that. But...
28
00:00:55,978 --> 00:00:57,477
It's over now.
29
00:00:57,529 --> 00:00:58,645
[feet tap]
30
00:00:58,697 --> 00:01:00,146
If there's anything I can do,
31
00:01:00,198 --> 00:01:03,033
anything at all, just let me know.
32
00:01:03,118 --> 00:01:04,150
- Thanks.
- Sure.
33
00:01:04,236 --> 00:01:05,485
That's really sweet of you.
34
00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:07,454
Hey, stay put. I'll get you a tissue.
35
00:01:08,790 --> 00:01:11,408
[Irish jig]
36
00:01:11,493 --> 00:01:12,626
Here you are.
37
00:01:12,661 --> 00:01:14,828
- Oh, thanks.
- Sure.
38
00:01:14,913 --> 00:01:16,162
Appreciate it.
39
00:01:16,214 --> 00:01:17,831
[feet tap]
40
00:01:17,883 --> 00:01:20,900
[downtempo electronic music]
41
00:01:20,969 --> 00:01:21,801
42
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Ah!
43
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44
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[squeaks]
45
00:01:28,727 --> 00:01:30,226
46
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[growls]
47
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48
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Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
49
00:01:44,776 --> 00:01:47,027
[phone buzzing]
50
00:01:47,112 --> 00:01:49,579
Mm.
51
00:01:49,665 --> 00:01:50,697
Mm.
52
00:01:50,749 --> 00:01:52,248
[buzzing continues]
53
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[sighs]
54
00:01:53,418 --> 00:01:54,868
Hi.
55
00:01:54,953 --> 00:01:57,203
The thing about love,
Liz, is that sometimes
56
00:01:57,255 --> 00:02:00,173
fate is the ultimate matchmaker.
57
00:02:00,208 --> 00:02:02,208
- Mm-hmm.
- Think about it.
58
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:05,428
The girl of my dreamscomes to work in my office
59
00:02:05,514 --> 00:02:09,265
at the exact same moment
that I have worked on myself
60
00:02:09,351 --> 00:02:12,602
and am ready to enter a
serious, long-term relationship.
61
00:02:12,688 --> 00:02:14,187
That's really great.
62
00:02:14,222 --> 00:02:16,222
You've had a crush on
her for a long time.
63
00:02:16,308 --> 00:02:18,975
Oh, no, no, no, no, this
isn't just a crush, Liz.
64
00:02:19,061 --> 00:02:20,610
We're soul mates.
65
00:02:20,696 --> 00:02:23,063
Rosa loves coffee; I
love getting her coffee.
66
00:02:23,148 --> 00:02:25,031
Rosa loves Junot D?az;
67
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:27,150
I, for a long time,
68
00:02:27,235 --> 00:02:31,287
have really wanted to read
something by him or her.
69
00:02:31,373 --> 00:02:33,039
[snoring]
70
00:02:33,075 --> 00:02:34,708
I know Rosa isn't flashy
71
00:02:34,743 --> 00:02:37,494
like the "Maxim" magazine
type most guys are into,
72
00:02:37,579 --> 00:02:39,412
but that's kind of
what I love about her.
73
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It's like I'm the only one
who can see how special she is.
74
00:02:42,918 --> 00:02:44,634
Uh, I got to go.
75
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,971
Hey, hey, man, uh, what are
you guys all waiting for?
76
00:02:48,056 --> 00:02:49,806
This is the line to ask out Rosa.
77
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What? You guys all want to date Rosa?
78
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What I like most about her
is that she isn't flashy
79
00:02:54,563 --> 00:02:57,147
like the "Maxim" magazine
type most guys are into.
80
00:02:57,232 --> 00:02:58,765
I guess we're all just the only one
81
00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:01,101
who can see how special she is.
82
00:03:01,186 --> 00:03:04,070
Gentlemen, I need one
straight line here.
83
00:03:04,106 --> 00:03:05,438
We're gonna get as many of you guys in
84
00:03:05,524 --> 00:03:07,607
to ask Rosa out as
possible, but for now,
85
00:03:07,692 --> 00:03:11,277
I need you to remain in line
till she's ready to date.
86
00:03:11,329 --> 00:03:13,113
Also, gentlemen, please stop using
87
00:03:13,198 --> 00:03:15,448
the Starbucks bathroom down the street.
88
00:03:15,534 --> 00:03:17,951
Starbucks has informed
me they will press charges
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00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:21,421
if you continue to do what
you've been doing in there.
90
00:03:21,456 --> 00:03:25,375
I need order; I need respect. O.R.
91
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:27,177
Hey, no cutting! [all groaning]
92
00:03:27,262 --> 00:03:29,212
He's cutting the line!
What are you doing?
93
00:03:29,297 --> 00:03:30,680
- Hey, man, when...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
94
00:03:30,766 --> 00:03:32,182
When... when... when do you think
95
00:03:32,267 --> 00:03:33,466
they're gonna start letting people in?
96
00:03:33,552 --> 00:03:35,185
First off, I need you to back off
97
00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:36,636
and keep your hands to yourself.
98
00:03:36,721 --> 00:03:38,104
- I w...
- If you touch me
99
00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:39,856
with your hands, I have
the authority to tase you.
100
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Jesus Christ. Uh, okay.
101
00:03:41,943 --> 00:03:43,893
Uh, but what do you think, ballpark?
102
00:03:43,979 --> 00:03:45,528
Could be a little while.
103
00:03:45,614 --> 00:03:47,530
You know, Rosa's still
dealing with the heartbreak.
104
00:03:47,616 --> 00:03:48,898
I think right now she just wants to be
105
00:03:48,984 --> 00:03:50,483
- with family and friends, okay?
- Yeah.
106
00:03:50,569 --> 00:03:52,068
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
107
00:03:52,154 --> 00:03:53,486
- I'm a friend. I'm a...
- Sir, your hands.
108
00:03:53,572 --> 00:03:54,954
Okay, I know, yeah, my hands.
109
00:03:54,990 --> 00:03:56,122
- Gotta keep 'em.
- Gotta keep 'em.
110
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I'm a friend.
111
00:03:58,543 --> 00:03:59,492
You're her friend?
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Yes.
113
00:04:00,545 --> 00:04:01,494
What's your name?
114
00:04:01,580 --> 00:04:03,797
Josh Greenberg.
115
00:04:03,832 --> 00:04:06,332
Hold on.
116
00:04:06,384 --> 00:04:08,334
Yeah, got a guy here says he's a friend.
117
00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:10,336
[babbling]
118
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Josh Greenberg.
119
00:04:14,009 --> 00:04:16,176
That's Golf, Romeo, Echo, Echo...
120
00:04:16,261 --> 00:04:17,677
- Check.
- Yeah, you got it.
121
00:04:17,729 --> 00:04:19,512
- [babbles]
- Okay.
122
00:04:19,564 --> 00:04:20,897
- [babbling]
- Okay, are you sure?
123
00:04:20,982 --> 00:04:22,315
[babbles]
124
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:27,437
5'10", 145. Maybe 5 1/2, 6.
125
00:04:27,522 --> 00:04:29,355
- [babbling]
- Okay.
126
00:04:29,407 --> 00:04:30,907
All right, fine, I'll let him know.
127
00:04:30,992 --> 00:04:32,525
Stevie? Take one of these.
128
00:04:32,611 --> 00:04:34,527
Put that on.
129
00:04:34,613 --> 00:04:35,745
- Let's do it.
- Follow me.
130
00:04:35,831 --> 00:04:37,864
Hey, cool, cool.
131
00:04:37,949 --> 00:04:39,532
[all groaning, booing]
All right, come this way.
132
00:04:39,618 --> 00:04:40,917
- This is a friend, guys, relax.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
133
00:04:41,002 --> 00:04:42,118
It's a platonic friend.
We got Greenberg.
134
00:04:42,204 --> 00:04:43,586
Sorry.
135
00:04:43,672 --> 00:04:45,255
[elevator bell dings] Coming through.
136
00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:46,706
- Platonic friend coming through.
- Sorry, sorry, guys.
137
00:04:46,791 --> 00:04:47,957
Look out, friend coming through.
138
00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:49,259
- I need you to move.
- Sorry, sorry.
139
00:04:49,344 --> 00:04:50,210
- Purely platonic.
- I'm a friend.
140
00:04:50,262 --> 00:04:51,845
I got one of these.
141
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,296
I don't make the rules.
I don't make the rules.
142
00:04:53,381 --> 00:04:55,548
- You can go right that way.
- Thank you.
143
00:04:55,634 --> 00:04:57,050
Hey, Rosa.
144
00:04:57,102 --> 00:04:58,852
Hello, Josh.
145
00:04:58,887 --> 00:05:01,054
How's the scanning going?
146
00:05:01,106 --> 00:05:02,555
Tedious.
147
00:05:02,641 --> 00:05:05,475
Just got to do these and those,
148
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:06,726
and then I am done.
149
00:05:06,778 --> 00:05:08,144
- Oh. It's okay.
- Oh!
150
00:05:08,230 --> 00:05:09,479
- Oh, shit.
- It's okay. It's okay.
151
00:05:09,564 --> 00:05:11,564
- Oh, my God.
- Ahh.
152
00:05:11,650 --> 00:05:13,816
[light instrumental music]
153
00:05:13,902 --> 00:05:15,902
Oh, no.
154
00:05:15,954 --> 00:05:16,903
I had to do it.
155
00:05:16,988 --> 00:05:18,872
I'm so sorry.
156
00:05:18,907 --> 00:05:22,876
Uh, have... have a good weekend.
157
00:05:22,911 --> 00:05:24,627
Yeah, I hope so.
158
00:05:24,713 --> 00:05:27,247
I just found out I have to
move out of my ex's on Saturday.
159
00:05:27,299 --> 00:05:28,915
Oh, no, seriously?
160
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,416
- Yeah.
- That sucks.
161
00:05:30,468 --> 00:05:33,052
Uh, do you... do you want a hand?
162
00:05:33,088 --> 00:05:34,754
Moving?
163
00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:36,973
You don't have to do
that. You would do that?
164
00:05:37,058 --> 00:05:38,591
Yeah, that's what
friends are for, right?
165
00:05:38,643 --> 00:05:39,976
All right, thanks.
166
00:05:40,061 --> 00:05:41,010
All right, I'll just...
167
00:05:41,096 --> 00:05:43,096
Yeah.
168
00:05:43,148 --> 00:05:44,597
I'm a friend. We're best friends.
169
00:05:44,649 --> 00:05:45,932
I will shoot. [Taser crackling]
170
00:05:45,984 --> 00:05:47,317
I told you guys to stay in line!
171
00:05:47,402 --> 00:05:48,735
Bunch of freaks. This is what happens.
172
00:05:51,576 --> 00:05:52,659
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
173
00:05:52,744 --> 00:05:53,910
- Got it?
- Yeah, yeah.
174
00:05:53,995 --> 00:05:54,961
Ow.
175
00:05:55,047 --> 00:05:57,080
[upbeat music]
176
00:05:57,165 --> 00:05:58,331
Whoo!
177
00:05:58,417 --> 00:06:03,136
178
00:06:03,221 --> 00:06:04,421
[box clatters]
179
00:06:04,473 --> 00:06:05,755
[rug thuds]
180
00:06:05,807 --> 00:06:08,391
181
00:06:08,427 --> 00:06:11,261
So what's your favorite
guilty pleasure movie then?
182
00:06:11,313 --> 00:06:12,262
"Titanic."
183
00:06:12,314 --> 00:06:13,847
Mm-mm, no,
184
00:06:13,932 --> 00:06:16,316
because any movie that's
won an Academy award...
185
00:06:16,401 --> 00:06:17,517
- Yeah.
- Can't be considered
186
00:06:17,602 --> 00:06:18,818
a guilty pleasure.
187
00:06:18,904 --> 00:06:21,855
All right, uh, then, uh...
188
00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:23,606
if pressed... [clears throat]
189
00:06:23,692 --> 00:06:27,160
I would say that I
have a passing affinity
190
00:06:27,245 --> 00:06:30,413
for, uh... "Must Love Dogs."
191
00:06:30,449 --> 00:06:31,664
Are you serious?
192
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,283
You asked me. [chuckles]
193
00:06:33,368 --> 00:06:35,118
- I love "Must Love Dogs."
- No.
194
00:06:35,203 --> 00:06:36,953
I've never met anyone else
who loves "Must Love Dogs."
195
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,788
You really love "Must Love Dogs."
196
00:06:38,874 --> 00:06:40,957
Yeah, like, you give it
a chance, it's actually...
197
00:06:41,042 --> 00:06:42,292
both: Surprisingly not bad.
198
00:06:42,377 --> 00:06:43,593
- Yes!
- Yes.
199
00:06:43,628 --> 00:06:45,011
And John Cusack is just...
200
00:06:45,097 --> 00:06:46,963
both: Doing his best with the material!
201
00:06:47,048 --> 00:06:48,348
- Yes!
- Hey.
202
00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:50,133
[laughs] That's it.
203
00:06:50,218 --> 00:06:52,769
- Yay!
- Yes!
204
00:06:52,804 --> 00:06:55,472
That is a television
for watching programs on.
205
00:06:55,524 --> 00:06:57,974
[laughs] Thank you.
206
00:06:58,059 --> 00:06:59,309
Yeah, of course.
207
00:06:59,361 --> 00:07:02,695
I really appreciate all the help today.
208
00:07:02,781 --> 00:07:05,648
My pleasure. It was my... no, I...
209
00:07:05,734 --> 00:07:08,151
actually had a lot
of fun doing it, so...
210
00:07:08,203 --> 00:07:10,370
Me too. Yeah.
211
00:07:10,455 --> 00:07:13,823
[indistinct chatter,laughter on TV]
212
00:07:13,909 --> 00:07:16,159
Yeah, okay, uh, so I'll split then.
213
00:07:16,244 --> 00:07:18,795
All right. Um, I'll see you on Monday.
214
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:20,713
- Yeah, Monday, all right.
- Yeah, Monday.
215
00:07:20,799 --> 00:07:22,382
- Yeah, Mondays.
- [laughs]
216
00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:23,383
- All right, so...
- All right, so...
217
00:07:23,468 --> 00:07:24,884
Great story, Bob.
218
00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:25,835
Well, that's it for the local news.
219
00:07:25,921 --> 00:07:27,754
Both: Yeah.
220
00:07:27,839 --> 00:07:29,005
Stay tuned for tonight'slate-night movie,
221
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,390
"Must Love Dogs."
222
00:07:30,475 --> 00:07:31,508
[dogs barking] Are you
223
00:07:31,593 --> 00:07:32,592
- Holy shit.
- That's scary.
224
00:07:32,677 --> 00:07:34,177
That's... [both laugh]
225
00:07:34,262 --> 00:07:35,311
I didn't plan this.
226
00:07:35,347 --> 00:07:36,813
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
227
00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:39,682
Um, I mean, should we...
228
00:07:39,734 --> 00:07:41,267
Oh, just watch, like, the first scene.
229
00:07:41,353 --> 00:07:42,769
Or watch until the part where the...
230
00:07:42,854 --> 00:07:44,354
both: Dogs pull her into the pond.
231
00:07:44,406 --> 00:07:45,522
- Yes.
- Oh, my God, all right.
232
00:07:45,607 --> 00:07:47,190
- So that's clearly...
- Yeah.
233
00:07:47,242 --> 00:07:48,608
- What's going to happen.
- [laughs] So sudden.
234
00:07:48,693 --> 00:07:50,109
All right. both: Ching ching.
235
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:51,361
[laughs]
236
00:07:51,446 --> 00:07:53,530
[puppies squeaking]
237
00:07:53,615 --> 00:07:55,448
[sweeping orchestral music]
238
00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:57,333
[dog barking]
239
00:07:57,369 --> 00:07:59,536
man: I don't know whyI didn't see it sooner.
240
00:07:59,621 --> 00:08:02,505
I don't know why I waitedso long to kiss you.
241
00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:03,923
Woman: Stop talkingabout kissing
242
00:08:04,009 --> 00:08:05,375
and just kiss me already.
243
00:08:05,427 --> 00:08:08,628
[groans]
244
00:08:08,713 --> 00:08:10,346
[dog barking]
245
00:08:10,382 --> 00:08:11,881
246
00:08:11,933 --> 00:08:15,768
Boy, these two sure do
love dogs, don't they?
247
00:08:15,854 --> 00:08:17,971
[whispering] They love those dogs.
248
00:08:18,056 --> 00:08:19,889
249
00:08:19,975 --> 00:08:22,609
[dogs barking]
250
00:08:22,694 --> 00:08:23,977
[dramatic musical fanfare]
251
00:08:24,062 --> 00:08:25,395
We interrupt this broadcast
252
00:08:25,447 --> 00:08:26,863
to bring you some breaking news.
253
00:08:26,898 --> 00:08:29,032
An asteroid is headed towards Earth
254
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:31,317
and will destroy the planetin exactly seven minutes.
255
00:08:31,403 --> 00:08:32,735
- What?
- What?
256
00:08:32,821 --> 00:08:34,988
Oh, my God, look!
257
00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:36,372
Mother of shit!
258
00:08:36,408 --> 00:08:38,575
[people screaming faintly]
259
00:08:38,627 --> 00:08:40,159
Asteroidologists have advised
260
00:08:40,245 --> 00:08:41,961
that you all remainright where you are
261
00:08:42,047 --> 00:08:44,881
for these, our lastseven minutes on Earth.
262
00:08:44,916 --> 00:08:46,883
We also advise that if there's something
263
00:08:46,918 --> 00:08:49,586
you've been meaning to do,even something a little risky,
264
00:08:49,638 --> 00:08:53,089
to use these last few preciousmoments and go for it.
265
00:08:53,174 --> 00:08:55,758
We repeat, this is your last chance
266
00:08:55,844 --> 00:08:58,428
to do that thing you want to do.
267
00:08:58,513 --> 00:09:00,980
Uh... [grunts]
268
00:09:01,066 --> 00:09:03,816
Uh, Rosa, I've been thinking
about this all night.
269
00:09:03,902 --> 00:09:05,485
There's something I need to know.
270
00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:07,570
Um...
271
00:09:07,606 --> 00:09:11,991
[asteroid rumbling]
272
00:09:12,077 --> 00:09:15,194
What is the name of the actor
that plays a veterinarian
273
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,664
in the "Must Love Dogs"?
274
00:09:17,749 --> 00:09:20,783
[rumbling continues]
275
00:09:20,869 --> 00:09:22,335
I don't know.
276
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:23,703
Yeah, no, we'll figure... we can...
277
00:09:23,788 --> 00:09:25,204
We'll figure it out later. We got...
278
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:26,256
We got five minutes to figure that out.
279
00:09:26,291 --> 00:09:27,874
Yeah.
280
00:09:27,959 --> 00:09:30,176
Again, we cannot stress enough,
281
00:09:30,262 --> 00:09:31,177
do that thing you want to do.
282
00:09:31,263 --> 00:09:32,712
[dramatic music]
283
00:09:32,797 --> 00:09:34,547
Oh, what the hell.
284
00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:36,849
[romantic music]
285
00:09:36,935 --> 00:09:38,434
Bret, I wanted you to
do that for so long.
286
00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:40,436
Oh.
287
00:09:40,472 --> 00:09:43,106
I couldn't not do it.
I'm a man, after all.
288
00:09:43,141 --> 00:09:44,524
Yeah, you are, Bret.
289
00:09:44,609 --> 00:09:46,526
Yeah, yeah.
290
00:09:46,611 --> 00:09:48,978
291
00:09:49,064 --> 00:09:50,697
Rosa?
292
00:09:50,782 --> 00:09:52,448
[sighs] Yes, Josh?
293
00:09:52,484 --> 00:09:55,068
Um... Ah, what the hell.
294
00:09:55,153 --> 00:09:56,452
- Whoa. No.
- Oh.
295
00:09:56,488 --> 00:09:57,620
Oh, oh. No, no. No, no.
296
00:09:57,656 --> 00:09:58,821
- I'm so sorry.
- [groans]
297
00:09:58,907 --> 00:10:00,156
I'm sorry I gave you that impression.
298
00:10:00,241 --> 00:10:02,575
I think you are so great...
299
00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:04,661
- Oh, good.
- And so sweet...
300
00:10:04,713 --> 00:10:06,045
- Thank you.
- And so funny...
301
00:10:06,131 --> 00:10:07,163
- Thank you.
- And so...
302
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:09,499
But I want to be your friend so bad.
303
00:10:09,551 --> 00:10:11,134
- Yeah.
- Because that's, like,
304
00:10:11,169 --> 00:10:13,636
the highest level of intimacy,
really, if you think about it,
305
00:10:13,672 --> 00:10:15,588
and I'm... I'm really sorry.
306
00:10:15,674 --> 00:10:17,056
No, stop. Would you stop?
307
00:10:17,142 --> 00:10:18,725
I'm sorry. I'm the one... I'm...
308
00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:20,059
I'll tell you what.
309
00:10:20,145 --> 00:10:22,345
Uh, at least we won't have to have
310
00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:24,430
that awkward conversation
at work on Monday morning...
311
00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:26,065
- Ah.
- You know, 'cause...
312
00:10:26,151 --> 00:10:27,233
[rumbling continues]
313
00:10:27,319 --> 00:10:29,268
We'll all be dead.
314
00:10:29,354 --> 00:10:31,604
[dramatic musical fanfare]
315
00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:34,073
Some heroes have successfully
exploded the asteroid.
316
00:10:34,159 --> 00:10:35,658
The Earth is saved. [sighs]
317
00:10:35,694 --> 00:10:37,026
We'll all be able to
go to work on Monday.
318
00:10:37,112 --> 00:10:38,778
[bleep].
319
00:10:38,863 --> 00:10:39,946
I think we'll remember this moment
320
00:10:40,031 --> 00:10:41,447
for the rest of our lives...
321
00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:42,782
where we were, who we were with,
322
00:10:42,867 --> 00:10:45,418
what they tried to do to you.
323
00:10:45,503 --> 00:10:46,953
We now return to "Must Love Dogs."
324
00:10:47,038 --> 00:10:49,622
[goofy music][dogs barking]
325
00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:51,007
So, yeah, I'm... I'm
gonna take off, I think.
326
00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:52,091
Okay. I...
327
00:10:52,177 --> 00:10:53,209
- Okay.
- All right.
328
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,427
Wait, Josh, I'm...
329
00:10:54,512 --> 00:10:56,379
Yeah?
330
00:10:56,464 --> 00:10:58,548
[gentle music]
331
00:10:58,633 --> 00:11:01,801
Thank you so much for helping me move...
332
00:11:01,886 --> 00:11:03,770
- in today.
- Yeah, no, you're welcome.
333
00:11:03,855 --> 00:11:05,605
Um...
334
00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:13,196
335
00:11:13,231 --> 00:11:15,064
[bright instrumental music]
336
00:11:15,116 --> 00:11:16,899
[people cheering]
337
00:11:16,951 --> 00:11:19,035
Yahoo!
338
00:11:19,070 --> 00:11:20,153
Whoo!
339
00:11:20,238 --> 00:11:23,239
[upbeat whistling]
340
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,408
341
00:11:25,493 --> 00:11:27,326
[fireworks booming]
342
00:11:27,412 --> 00:11:29,462
343
00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:32,548
[upbeat whistling]
344
00:11:32,584 --> 00:11:34,133
345
00:11:34,219 --> 00:11:35,468
- Whoo, whoo!
- Whoo-hoo!
346
00:11:35,553 --> 00:11:38,554
[upbeat whistling]
347
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:41,057
348
00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:02,668
And then she flat-out turned me down.
349
00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:05,844
It was, like, maybe one of
the worst moments of my life.
350
00:12:05,930 --> 00:12:08,347
Bummer, man. Oh, can I
have a chicken burrito?
351
00:12:08,432 --> 00:12:11,934
It's just not fair, you
know? I put in the man hours.
352
00:12:11,969 --> 00:12:14,270
All right, I got her
coffee every morning.
353
00:12:14,305 --> 00:12:18,190
I listened to her problems
about her stupid ex-boyfriend.
354
00:12:18,276 --> 00:12:20,442
I-I helped her move, for God sakes.
355
00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:21,944
Michael, I helped the woman move.
356
00:12:21,979 --> 00:12:23,946
What... what more does she want from me?
357
00:12:23,981 --> 00:12:26,031
For real.
358
00:12:26,117 --> 00:12:28,784
You know, plain truth,
359
00:12:28,819 --> 00:12:30,619
girls just don't want to date nice guys.
360
00:12:30,655 --> 00:12:32,488
Never have, never will.
361
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:33,872
For real.
362
00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:36,375
Like, why... why isn't it
363
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:41,380
just that you date the
guy who's nicest to you?
364
00:12:41,465 --> 00:12:43,165
There should be a law.
365
00:12:43,217 --> 00:12:46,335
For real.
366
00:12:46,387 --> 00:12:48,504
For real.
367
00:12:48,589 --> 00:12:52,808
And then she rejected
me on the very couch
368
00:12:52,843 --> 00:12:55,928
that, earlier that afternoon,
I had helped her move,
369
00:12:56,013 --> 00:12:59,398
so I ask you, please consider my bill,
370
00:12:59,483 --> 00:13:02,184
because in my America, fair is fair.
371
00:13:02,269 --> 00:13:04,186
Thank you.
372
00:13:04,238 --> 00:13:06,989
So you want us to enact a law
373
00:13:07,024 --> 00:13:11,026
that would require
women to date nice guys?
374
00:13:11,078 --> 00:13:13,529
Yes.
375
00:13:13,581 --> 00:13:15,164
Interesting.
376
00:13:15,199 --> 00:13:17,199
Seems rather reasonable.
377
00:13:17,284 --> 00:13:21,086
Nice guys being rewarded
for being nice guys.
378
00:13:21,172 --> 00:13:23,288
And the girl would get
something out of it.
379
00:13:23,374 --> 00:13:25,541
She'd get to be with the nice guy.
380
00:13:25,626 --> 00:13:27,793
That doesn't make any sense.
381
00:13:27,878 --> 00:13:30,679
Just because a man is nice
to you doesn't mean you...
382
00:13:30,715 --> 00:13:34,049
Good point, Louise.
383
00:13:34,101 --> 00:13:35,718
- Now a question for you.
- Mm-hmm.
384
00:13:35,803 --> 00:13:37,553
Hypothetically, if a guy was very nice
385
00:13:37,638 --> 00:13:39,888
to, say, another judge,
386
00:13:39,974 --> 00:13:43,142
was always complimenting
her on her good points,
387
00:13:43,227 --> 00:13:46,362
would that mean that she
would have to date that man?
388
00:13:46,397 --> 00:13:48,147
Absolutely.
389
00:13:48,232 --> 00:13:49,648
From this day forward,
390
00:13:49,734 --> 00:13:52,067
if a guy is really, really nice to you,
391
00:13:52,153 --> 00:13:53,819
he gets to be your boyfriend.
392
00:13:53,904 --> 00:13:56,405
The "Nice" law is officially passed.
393
00:13:56,490 --> 00:13:57,873
[triumphant music]
394
00:13:57,908 --> 00:14:00,659
That isn't even how we pass a law.
395
00:14:00,745 --> 00:14:02,795
Another good point, Louise.
396
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,297
397
00:14:05,383 --> 00:14:06,915
Yeah!
398
00:14:07,001 --> 00:14:10,002
[upbeat techno music]
399
00:14:10,087 --> 00:14:17,810
400
00:14:20,931 --> 00:14:21,847
Shake it
401
00:14:21,932 --> 00:14:29,154
402
00:14:31,358 --> 00:14:33,776
Mm, thanks, man.
403
00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:35,527
[line trilling]
404
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,112
Hey, this is Rosa.
405
00:14:37,164 --> 00:14:38,163
I'm away from my phone right now,
406
00:14:38,249 --> 00:14:39,114
so please leave a message.
407
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,332
Thanks.
408
00:14:40,418 --> 00:14:41,917
- Hey.
- Oh! Jesus!
409
00:14:41,952 --> 00:14:44,787
Oh, sorry, you just... you scared me.
410
00:14:44,872 --> 00:14:46,088
I didn't mean to scare you.
411
00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:47,956
I just wanted to say you're welcome.
412
00:14:48,042 --> 00:14:49,258
What?
413
00:14:49,293 --> 00:14:50,843
I held the door open for you out there.
414
00:14:50,928 --> 00:14:53,929
Oh, yeah, uh, that was very nice of you.
415
00:14:53,964 --> 00:14:56,765
You're welcome.
416
00:14:56,801 --> 00:14:59,802
Hey, hey, hey, oh, whoa,
what are you doing there, man?
417
00:14:59,887 --> 00:15:01,470
Just following the law.
418
00:15:01,555 --> 00:15:04,189
If a guy's nice to you, he
gets to be your boyfriend.
419
00:15:04,275 --> 00:15:06,141
Okay, okay, okay. Very good.
420
00:15:06,227 --> 00:15:09,061
I now see where you might've
gotten a little confused.
421
00:15:09,146 --> 00:15:12,147
All right, I came up with that law...
422
00:15:12,199 --> 00:15:14,116
because there was this girl named Rosa
423
00:15:14,151 --> 00:15:16,151
that I was very nice to...
424
00:15:16,203 --> 00:15:17,319
Like how I was nice to you.
425
00:15:17,371 --> 00:15:18,487
And I really liked her.
426
00:15:18,572 --> 00:15:19,822
Like how I really like you.
427
00:15:19,874 --> 00:15:21,707
Okay, mister...
428
00:15:21,792 --> 00:15:23,459
Chainsaw.
429
00:15:23,494 --> 00:15:26,712
You seem like... you
seem like a nice man,
430
00:15:26,797 --> 00:15:29,631
but I really think we would
be better off as just friends.
431
00:15:31,836 --> 00:15:33,502
Oh.
432
00:15:33,554 --> 00:15:35,087
[melancholy music]
433
00:15:35,172 --> 00:15:37,339
I get it now. I get it now.
434
00:15:37,424 --> 00:15:39,842
Just because I was nice to Rosa
435
00:15:39,927 --> 00:15:42,895
doesn't mean she has to sleep with me.
436
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:45,063
She has the right to sleep
with or not sleep with
437
00:15:45,149 --> 00:15:46,849
whomever she wants; it's up to her;
438
00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:48,650
and I just have to live with it.
439
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:51,737
Wow, sounds like you really
learned something today.
440
00:15:51,822 --> 00:15:54,857
I think I really did.
441
00:15:54,942 --> 00:15:56,825
Okay, let's go before my balls explode.
442
00:15:56,861 --> 00:15:58,026
[zipper buzzes] Oh, my God.
443
00:15:58,112 --> 00:16:00,162
Wait, help! Help! Help!
444
00:16:00,197 --> 00:16:01,196
Is everything okay in here?
445
00:16:01,282 --> 00:16:02,781
Oh, thank God.
446
00:16:02,867 --> 00:16:04,750
Officers, you came just in time.
447
00:16:04,835 --> 00:16:07,202
This... lovely man...
448
00:16:07,288 --> 00:16:09,788
- Chainsaw.
- This man, Chainsaw,
449
00:16:09,874 --> 00:16:12,541
in a bit of irony
that is not lost on me,
450
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:15,427
has just proven to me
that a law I came up with
451
00:16:15,513 --> 00:16:18,597
was actually a really horrible idea.
452
00:16:18,682 --> 00:16:20,599
Sounds like you really
learned your lesson.
453
00:16:20,684 --> 00:16:22,384
Good. Phew, good. All right.
454
00:16:22,469 --> 00:16:25,771
Uh, so can things just go
back to how they used to be?
455
00:16:25,856 --> 00:16:29,057
Absolutely, yeah, yeah,
once the law is repealed,
456
00:16:29,143 --> 00:16:32,060
which, as you know, is a
lengthy and complex process.
457
00:16:32,112 --> 00:16:33,395
You know, you can start by writing
458
00:16:33,447 --> 00:16:34,863
to your local congressman.
459
00:16:34,899 --> 00:16:36,732
Thank you.
460
00:16:36,784 --> 00:16:39,451
- Well, have a good sex.
- Yep.
461
00:16:39,537 --> 00:16:41,236
- Thanks, officers.
- Thanks, guys.
462
00:16:41,288 --> 00:16:42,571
[light instrumental music]
463
00:16:42,656 --> 00:16:46,625
I... do you like to
make out a bit, or...
464
00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:48,844
Sort of. You'll see.
465
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,921
Hey, babe?
466
00:16:56,007 --> 00:16:57,540
Yeah?
467
00:16:57,625 --> 00:17:00,626
I was kind of thinking
Belcourt for brunch
468
00:17:00,711 --> 00:17:02,344
because they have those great Bellinis.
469
00:17:02,380 --> 00:17:03,762
Yeah, okay.
470
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,632
And then maybe swing by the flea market.
471
00:17:06,717 --> 00:17:09,051
Wait a second.
472
00:17:10,972 --> 00:17:13,973
"Nice law repealed."
"Nice law repealed."
473
00:17:14,058 --> 00:17:16,976
Chainsaw, you and I...
474
00:17:17,061 --> 00:17:18,811
are officially broken up.
475
00:17:22,066 --> 00:17:23,449
What about Jackie's wedding?
476
00:17:23,534 --> 00:17:25,651
What? So... okay.
477
00:17:25,736 --> 00:17:28,871
Uh, we just won't go then.
478
00:17:30,741 --> 00:17:33,325
Well, we already RSVP'd for two.
479
00:17:33,411 --> 00:17:35,794
You can't back out on RSVPs.
480
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,580
They paid ahead for each person.
481
00:17:37,632 --> 00:17:38,797
[chuckles]
482
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:41,884
Yeah, right. Um...
483
00:17:41,919 --> 00:17:47,256
Okay, so, we... we'll go,
484
00:17:47,308 --> 00:17:51,310
uh, but we'll go as friends.
485
00:17:51,395 --> 00:17:52,344
Friends.
486
00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:53,812
Yeah.
487
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:56,815
[tense string music]
488
00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:58,317
[voice breaking] I'll
see you at the wedding.
489
00:17:58,402 --> 00:18:00,069
Yeah, it doesn't have to be like that.
490
00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:03,989
491
00:18:04,075 --> 00:18:05,407
I gave you everything!
492
00:18:05,443 --> 00:18:07,159
[door rattles closed]
493
00:18:07,245 --> 00:18:09,995
You know, I'm happy he's gone,
494
00:18:10,081 --> 00:18:12,498
but that guy made the
best boot stew I ever had.
495
00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:14,867
Mm-hmm, those were
some fun dinner parties too.
496
00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:17,119
But the main thing is, Rosa
and I are back to normal.
497
00:18:17,171 --> 00:18:18,621
I actually even invited her to...
498
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,756
- Hey. Hi.
- Hey, there she is.
499
00:18:20,791 --> 00:18:22,291
- What's up, Josh?
- Hi.
500
00:18:22,376 --> 00:18:24,543
- Rosa, this is my friend Mike.
- Hi.
501
00:18:24,629 --> 00:18:26,178
Friend Mike, this is my friend Rosa.
502
00:18:26,264 --> 00:18:27,680
- Nice to meet you.
- You too.
503
00:18:27,765 --> 00:18:30,099
I'm gonna go get some
chips. I'll be right back.
504
00:18:30,134 --> 00:18:33,135
You know, I just want
her to be happy, you know.
505
00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:34,887
I... so I'm saying it.
506
00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:36,772
Rosa should date whoever she wants.
507
00:18:36,807 --> 00:18:38,941
For real.
508
00:18:41,562 --> 00:18:44,480
[Mr. Dream's "Palace Complex"]
509
00:18:44,565 --> 00:18:47,566
[upbeat rock music]
510
00:18:47,864 --> 00:18:51,374
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
511
00:18:51,701 --> 00:18:54,250
512
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:58,850
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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