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1
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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:07,206
(Electronic beeping)
3
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,507
(Explosion)
4
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,377
Ha! Take that, munch!
5
00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,379
Why did you kill me?
6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,414
We are teammates.
7
00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,649
Not anymore. You're dead.
8
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:22,855
Parker, are you excited?
It's that time of year again.
9
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:25,891
It's my half-birthday? Where's
my half-cake and half-gift?
10
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:29,528
No, no, even better.
11
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,965
It's time for "the mama's
sweet baby boy pageant."
12
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:39,371
The mothers of Stevens Point have a
pageant where we parade in costume
13
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,906
with our youngest sons.
14
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,941
Oh! Best day of the year!
15
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:46,684
Worst day of the year, but
it's really important
16
00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:50,578
to my mom so I suck it up
and die a little inside.
17
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,518
Mom used to make me do the pageant,
18
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,287
but then there was a new baby
boy for her to dress like a doll.
19
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:59,224
Now I go to laugh and take
lots and lots of pictures.
20
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:03,295
Remember when you were seven and the
theme was "mysteries of the ocean"?
21
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,364
My favorite.
22
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,335
(Laughs) Oh, look at my little sailor.
23
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:14,907
So this year's theme is
"beyond the arctic circle."
24
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:19,978
Now mama pulled a few strings
so you get to be the narwhal.
25
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,482
Can I get a nar-what-what?
26
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:26,018
Whoo! Whoo!
27
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:30,022
This is a narwhal. I know
it's technically a whale,
28
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:33,325
but let's be honest. It's a sea unicorn.
29
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,727
I've gotta get out of this pageant.
30
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,995
It'll be worse than "disco fever."
31
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,367
(Theme music playing)
32
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:43,735
Better in stereo
33
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,004
b... b... better
in stereo
34
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:48,040
-
I'm up with the sunshine
-
Let's go
35
00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:50,409
-
I lace up my high tops
-
Oh no
36
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,044
slam dunk, ready or not
37
00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:54,012
yeah, show me what you got
38
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:56,415
-
I'm under the spotlight
-
Holler
39
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,417
I dare you, come on and follow
40
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:01,520
you dance to your own beat
41
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,955
I'll sing the melody
42
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:05,524
when you
say yea-ah-ah
43
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,693
I say
no-oh-oh
44
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,595
when you say stop
45
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:12,297
all I want to do is go go go
46
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,000
you you, the other half of me me
47
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,603
The half I'll never be-e
48
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:20,839
the half that drives me crazy
49
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,542
you you, the better half of me me
50
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,378
the half I'll always need
51
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,846
but we both know
52
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,048
we're better in stereo.
53
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:35,521
Hey, guys. (Sneezes)
54
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:38,056
Oh, no, she's sick. Pete, she's sick.
55
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:41,793
Whenever one twin gets sick,
the other goes down, too.
56
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:44,663
One time Liv got sick in California.
57
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:49,067
By that afternoon, Maddie
had a fever in Wisconsin.
58
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:51,069
You've heard of the black plague.
59
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,906
Well, this is the blonde plague.
60
00:02:53,908 --> 00:02:57,075
Let's not panic. Maybe
they've grown out of it.
61
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,878
I saw Maddie this morning. She's fine.
62
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,079
(Sneezes)
63
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:03,148
Is she, woman?
64
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,516
Is she?
65
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,519
Mommy. (Coughs)
66
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,587
I'm sicky.
67
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:12,925
(Groans) I'm so cold.
68
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:14,126
I want my blanky.
69
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:16,862
I can't get sick. Okay.
70
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:20,666
(Grunts) There, there. All better.
71
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:23,068
Okay.
72
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,070
Mmm, so hot.
73
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:28,040
Is this blanky made of fire?
74
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:33,078
Well, looks like I'm on plague patrol.
75
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,080
I can kiss that pageant goodbye.
76
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:37,916
Wait a minute, honey.
I can take care of the twins.
77
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,986
- What? You would do that for me?
- Sure.
78
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,688
You are such a prince.
79
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,527
Does no one see me dying here?
80
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,163
Well, hop to it, prince.
81
00:03:51,165 --> 00:03:53,532
Mama loves you.
82
00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,769
Daddy.
83
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,505
Bubby.
84
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,041
(Retching)
85
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,944
Liv, honey. Are you all right in there?
86
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,413
Yeah.
87
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,482
Good news is I got it all out of me.
88
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:15,053
Bad news is I think we
might need a new toaster.
89
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,661
Just one second. (Retches)
90
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:38,110
There's a hundred ways to die in Clancy's
Dairy Farm slash community center.
91
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,578
Choose one.
92
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:40,779
Ha!
93
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:46,952
There's also a hundred
ways to look like a doofus.
94
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,854
Burn!
95
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:53,959
Now stop this tomfoolery and turn the
mat over to a real Kendo master.
96
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:57,829
Why, are you hiding one
under your orange man perm?
97
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,934
One...
98
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,037
I will destroy you at Kendo.
99
00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:09,975
And two, this is all me, baby.
100
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,844
Fine, then I challenge you to a duel.
101
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:18,750
I'm gonna slice you, dice you,
then serve you over rice, you.
102
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:21,853
Very well.
103
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,156
When I win, you will have
me over for a sleepover
104
00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:26,958
so your enchanting sister Liv can
be bewitched by the sight of me
105
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,828
in my casual evening attire.
106
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:33,131
Nothing lights a girl's
candle like footie pajamas.
107
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,100
You don't have to tell me, brother.
108
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:39,938
Fine, but if I win, I get your Minions.
109
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,940
My Minions?
110
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:47,846
I could never part with Taylor,
Joel and the other one.
111
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:52,584
Luckily, that will never happen
because of my can-do Kendo skills.
112
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:10,068
(Rock music playing)
113
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,807
(Grunting)
114
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:33,091
- Is that a ladybug?
- (Screams)
115
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,895
Demon at the summer
garden. Minions, seize her.
116
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:41,166
(Joey cackling)
117
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:46,738
I used your fear of ladies
and bugs against you.
118
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:51,009
Your Minions are now my mine-ions.
119
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,812
Victory music please.
120
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,881
(Rock music playing)
121
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,723
Wait. Don't leave me with the ladybug.
122
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,933
Mm, minty.
123
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,903
I could get used to this. Minions!
124
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,806
To robotics class.
125
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:28,647
Hello, Artie. Have you
lost weight since yesterday?
126
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,049
Like, I don't know,
like three Minions worth.
127
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:34,052
Fake compliment that
turned into a burn burn.
128
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:39,057
You guys are so good at that.
129
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:43,028
I don't even know the
combination to my locker.
130
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:46,331
My Minions have always opened it for me.
131
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:54,005
I wouldn't worry about it.
132
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:57,075
That's not your locker. (Laughs)
133
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,277
Minions, we ride!
134
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:08,920
Parker, I know you're only here
twice a week for robotics class,
135
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,022
but you were not supposed to
take projects out of the lab.
136
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:14,125
Mom and superintendent
Kneebauer are right there.
137
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,428
Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.
138
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,903
- (Gasps)
- Hey!
139
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:30,308
Oh, no, I have made a
horrible error in judgment.
140
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,178
Parker, what is the matter with you?
141
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,047
And why are you wearing a second skirt?
142
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,183
I have four more under this one.
143
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,152
I don't leave the house until
I'm completely prank proof.
144
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,989
Now what are you planning
on doing with this hooligan?
145
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,992
Are you tough enough to
discipline your own kid?
146
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:50,695
Of course I am. Now,
Parker, if you are old enough
147
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,932
to get into high school trouble, you are
old enough for high school consequences.
148
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,767
You have detention for the next two days.
149
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,236
I'll make you a snack.
150
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,038
Two days?
151
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:04,209
This entire hallway almost
got an eyeful of underpants.
152
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,244
I want this little monster in
there for the rest of the week.
153
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,147
He kind of has plans on Friday.
154
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,082
They've just been canceled.
155
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:19,408
Oh, did mama's sweet baby boy
get thrown into detention
156
00:09:19,439 --> 00:09:23,858
"accidentally," making himself
unavailable for the pageant?
157
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:27,332
Oops. I guess he did.
158
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,038
Line up, detainees.
159
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,041
Superintendent Kneebauer,
you're in charge of detention?
160
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:39,778
Oh, yeah, and you're in
for a week of hard labor.
161
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:43,982
Listen up, maggots.
162
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,117
I want this school to shine.
163
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:49,020
First up, graffiti removal.
164
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:53,191
And we're waiting for what?
165
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:59,130
Dump truck? What kind of loser
calls himself "dump truck"?
166
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,833
Who you calling a loser?
167
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,835
It's lovely to meet
you, Mr. Dump Truck, sir.
168
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,236
I'm a big fan of your work.
169
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:10,208
Listen, noob, I don't know how
they do things in middle school,
170
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,377
but this here is my detention.
171
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,547
That's the boss, but I'm the guy.
172
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,852
She lets me say that. We got
a little arrangement going on.
173
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:24,122
You're gonna do what I say, noob.
174
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,491
First, you're gonna empty the
rat traps out by the dumpster.
175
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,027
Then you're gonna empty the
roach traps out by the dumpster.
176
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:31,162
And then you're gonna clean the dumpster.
177
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,232
Then you're gonna go to the cafeteria
and you're gonna make me some nachos.
178
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,137
Wash your hands after the dumpster.
179
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:44,576
Anything's better than
being mama's sweet baby boy.
180
00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:47,012
Even a bag of dead dumpster rats.
181
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,480
(Squealing)
182
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:51,049
Mostly dead dumpster rats.
183
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:59,190
(Sneezes)
184
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,259
- Daddy!
- (Ringing)
185
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,362
There's the bell. Gotta go to school.
186
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:07,432
Hey, mom.
187
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,934
Love that outfit.
188
00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:15,907
Daddy's here with the juice.
189
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,043
Dad, that wasn't the juice bell.
190
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:20,145
That was the fluff my pillows bell.
191
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:23,515
This is the juice bell.
192
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,150
That's the first period bell.
193
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:28,119
I am so late for class.
194
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,088
Liv Rooney present, Mrs. Tidwell.
195
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,023
I have my pencil and I'm ready to learn.
196
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,126
Oh, oh, honey.
197
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,028
- Honey, you're delirious with fever.
- What?
198
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,030
Come on, no school for you, sweetheart.
199
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,901
Dad, I'm fine. Joey,
tell dad that I'm fine.
200
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:46,304
Wow, Joey, your arms
are getting really big.
201
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:51,309
Is that the rub my feet bell?
202
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,446
No, daddy, it's get the
boogies out of my nose bell.
203
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:58,049
Come on, daddy, here's a snot sucker.
204
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:02,287
Second period. It's time for choir.
205
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:05,990
Amazing grace
206
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,993
How sweet the sound
207
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:10,128
Thank you.
208
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:13,898
That saved a wretch
209
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,901
Like me
210
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:23,141
What? What? Tissue, tea, cough drop?
211
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,043
What?
212
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:29,114
If you loved me, you would know.
213
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,954
I once was lost
214
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:39,224
But now I'm...
215
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,091
(Retches)
216
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,228
(Coughs)
217
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,131
Thank you. (Retches)
218
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:51,469
Oh, wow, okay.
219
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,474
Guys, I can crack my own claw.
220
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:06,351
You're not gonna chew for me, too?
221
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:15,527
Minions seem like a good idea until
they are smothering you all day long.
222
00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:17,695
Applying your deodorant after gym.
223
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:20,698
Popping blackheads on your forehead.
224
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,434
Handing you toilet paper under the stall.
225
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:27,438
Granted, it was six ply and
really soft on my bottom.
226
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,075
But still, a man needs his space.
227
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:35,113
Stop it.
228
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,614
(Whirring)
229
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:40,518
Okay, really, none of
this is weird for you guys?
230
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,828
Get off me, get off me,
get off me, get off me.
231
00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:47,058
Artie!
232
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:50,495
I have never been so happy to see you.
233
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,564
Hey, Minions.
234
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:57,068
Dude, you have to take them back.
235
00:13:57,070 --> 00:14:02,140
I thought it would be cool, but I
am just not a Minion man, man.
236
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,776
Joey, Minions cannot be given away.
237
00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,244
They must be won back.
238
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:11,049
I won them from Neville Hosaka
in a vicious game of Hopscotch.
239
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,618
And now you've won them from me.
240
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:18,423
Fine, then we'll just have a rematch so
you can win them back fair and square.
241
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,191
I'll have the Minions set it up.
242
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,360
You'd do that?
243
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,230
Bless you, brother!
244
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,766
(Playing blues tune on harmonica)
245
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:41,179
Dump truck, where's the noob?
246
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:45,083
I sent him to scrape the gum off
from under every desk in school, boss.
247
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,819
A job like that could
break a man. Great work.
248
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:53,358
Yeah, I bet he's curled up under
one of them desks right now, sobbing.
249
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,793
Listening for crying, boss?
250
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,197
Listening for crying.
251
00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,840
Gum scraped.
252
00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,475
What's next?
253
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,143
Whoa!
254
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,612
You scraped all this gum yourself?
255
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:18,149
Well, I wanted you to know I
was man enough for detention.
256
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,518
No.
257
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,487
You're no man.
258
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,155
You're a machine.
259
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:29,227
How about a round of applause
for the gumball machine, huh?
260
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:34,365
I started the week as a
lowly middle school noob.
261
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,200
Now I was the gumball machine.
262
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:39,337
I had broken the ice, like
the horn of the narwhal.
263
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:43,274
No wait. Not a narwhal, never a narwhal.
264
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:48,813
Superintendent Kneebauer, I
have come to beg for your mercy.
265
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:51,182
Parker's my sweet baby boy.
266
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,419
Oh, he done wrong, but he paid the price.
267
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:58,523
Can you find it in your heart
to set him free tomorrow?
268
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,525
You know what?
269
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,760
I think he's learned his lesson.
270
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,263
This is your last day of
detention, gumball machine.
271
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:09,233
No, no, no. Not a fan of human contact.
272
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:10,702
Did you hear that, sweetie?
273
00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:14,272
We are going to make it
to the pageant after all.
274
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:18,643
Or I'm going to rob a bank
and go to actual jail.
275
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:22,280
It's got to be better than last
year's pageant. (Shudders)
276
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:35,655
Gumball machine, we wanted
to give you something
277
00:16:35,686 --> 00:16:38,525
to remember your time in the joint.
(Spits)
278
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,598
Gum me.
279
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,605
You showed me something, little guy.
280
00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:54,846
This is the grossest piece
of awesome I've ever held.
281
00:16:57,416 --> 00:17:00,318
But I'm not going anywhere.
282
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,988
That's when I told the guys about
"mama's sweet baby boy pageant."
283
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:07,191
It was humiliating, but they got it.
284
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,694
There's something about
identical orange jumpsuits
285
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,396
that brings people together.
286
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,464
A whale with a pointy horn?!
287
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,967
That's not right, gumball machine.
288
00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:18,202
That ain't right at all.
289
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,804
Exactly.
290
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,973
Which is why I need your
help to stay in detention.
291
00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:24,375
What can we do?
292
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,781
(Snoring)
293
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:36,254
We can give Kneebauer a wake up call.
294
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,656
You do the honors.
295
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:41,325
(Snoring)
296
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:50,001
(Screams)
297
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,708
When I get down from here,
you little punks are gonna
298
00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:57,438
be in detention the rest
of your worthless lives!
299
00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:08,519
You're late.
300
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,022
My Minions usually serve
as my navigation system.
301
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:13,624
I got lost three times on the way here.
302
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,993
Some hunters found me
wandering in the woods.
303
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:21,432
Yeah, whatever, weirdo.
Come on, let's do this.
304
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:32,276
Okay, come on, just hit me
once and I'll take a dive.
305
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,544
Kendo up.
306
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:40,318
Avert your eyes, Minions. I don't
want you to remember me like this.
307
00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:47,892
Is he allowed to do that?
308
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:51,395
He's breaking all the
rules of Minionhood...
309
00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:54,298
For me.
310
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:58,002
I feel my strength returning.
311
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:01,906
Okay, it's just like, if there
are "rules" of Minionhood...
312
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,876
this is a beautiful moment,
Joey. Don't ruin it.
313
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:18,990
(Grunting)
314
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,046
(Cheering)
315
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:44,982
The king is back!
316
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:48,853
- Minions, we ride.
- (Shouting)
317
00:19:50,722 --> 00:19:54,725
Your little monster of a son
and his band of misfits tied me
318
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,627
to a chair and hung me from the ceiling.
319
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,132
Sorry, mommy, I goofed up.
320
00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:06,003
If I didn't carry a
multi-tool in my garters,
321
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,806
I never would have gotten out of there.
322
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,542
Parker... wait, you wear garters?
323
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:16,013
Just because I'm superintendent doesn't
mean I have to stop being a lady.
324
00:20:17,749 --> 00:20:19,784
She revoked my pardon, mom.
325
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:22,053
I'm going to be in
detention for the pageant.
326
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,088
Shucky darns!
327
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,857
Wait a minute. Something's up.
328
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,093
Are you trying to stay in detention
329
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:30,428
so you don't have to
do the pageant with me?
330
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:34,131
What? No, I just broke bad.
331
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,501
Got in with the wrong group of guys,
332
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:42,106
stopped eating vegetables,
quit flossing before bed.
333
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:45,443
I'm riddled with gingivitis.
334
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,945
Okay, okay, you are definitely faking.
335
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:51,148
Honey, if you didn't want
to do the pageant with me,
336
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,950
all you had to do was say so.
337
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,685
I don't want to do the pageant.
338
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,654
Oh, you are doing that pageant.
339
00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:01,726
Welcome...
340
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:04,795
To the "mama's sweet baby boy pageant."
341
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:10,201
We bring you "beyond the arctic circle."
342
00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:12,970
(Cheering)
343
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:17,842
I am the narwhal, the unicorn of the sea.
344
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:25,216
Hey, mama's sweet baby
boy, you better nar-work it.
345
00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:30,588
Hey, guy, I'm about to punch.
346
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:34,225
How about you keep it down 'cause
some of us is trying to enjoy the show?
347
00:21:34,227 --> 00:21:36,961
You go, gumball machine! Whoo!
348
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,763
(Dance music playing)
349
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,761
- Morning, guys.
- Hey, girls. Feeling better?
350
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:14,632
Yeah, I am raring to go for that
exam in Mrs. Tidwell's class,
351
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:17,001
and then it is off to buy a new purse.
352
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:19,770
One with less chunks in it.
353
00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:23,107
Yeah, I was so sick.
354
00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:27,211
But luckily I was able to shut my
body down, and I slept the whole time.
355
00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:31,148
Dad, thanks for taking care of us.
356
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:35,553
Yeah, not that I really think it was
that hard, but we really appreciate it.
357
00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:40,124
Well, they may not appreciate it, but I do.
358
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:42,893
Thank you, honey. I owe you one.
359
00:22:42,895 --> 00:22:46,163
Good, you can replace the
toaster that Liv ruined.
360
00:22:48,066 --> 00:22:51,869
Ruined? Are you kidding?
361
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,205
This is the best toast I have ever had.
362
00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:59,143
- Mmm, tastes like hotdogs.
- (Both gag)
363
00:22:59,193 --> 00:23:03,743
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