All language subtitles for K.c. Undercover s03e19 K.C. Times Three.eng

BUNKD on KC Undercover... I
thought you said you were

with your sick grandma.
You thought I was KC.

Aha. I'm not. I'm her cousin Kassandra.

Her cousin? Byron knows

that something's up,

and I cannot blow my cover.

Too bad you don't have a secret twin

locked in your basement.

Hello, Bernice.

Whassup, ugly?

Hi, Byron!

Remember my cousin Kassandra

who you thought didn't exist?

I need to go to the bathroom.

Uh, well, then I'll just go with you.

[both grunting]

Bernice is dangerous,
and it's all my fault

because I'm the one who let her
out, and I don't know what to do.

What you should have done is
had me wear that KC disguise

that I wore to cover for
you for the Organization.

Nooooo, I don't wanna go to jail.

Good job, Marisa, you're
coming off really believable.

[KC] Don't make me take you, Bernice!

Nooo, I thought you were my friend!

I hate that I have to talk
to this convict Bernice.

Just saying her name makes
me sick to my stomach...

"Bernice." Uggh! Sick!

I tell you, just sick.

Hey, sweetie, how ya holdin' up?

Terrible. It's scary in here.

[sighs] I know, I know.

Just... you know what, think about it

as full-time detention.

They don't hose you down and
delouse you in detention.

To make it even worse,
they have me sleeping

on a mattress with questionable stains.

Well, on the bright side, you're
not sleeping on the floor.

I have to use the communal shower.

Oh! Okay.

So what I'm hearing is,
you're being exposed

to lots of new people.

I'm only allowed six squares
of toilet paper a day.

Six. Yeah. I found out the hard way

when I wasted three on a sneeze.

So, in other words, um...

Uh, yeah, there's no
good spin on that one.

Listen, just hang in there, okay? I'm
getting lots of leads on Bernice

and I should be locating
her really soon.

Okay.

Ow.

How the heck am I gonna find Bernice?

? Oh, when danger comes for you ?

? You know I'll stand beside you ?

? 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ?

? I always find a way, a
way out of the fire ?

? But don't tell nobody, tell nobody ?

? I'm not perfect, so many things I ?

? Want to tell you, but I ?

? I keep it undercover ?

? Living my life on red alert ?

? Doing my thing, gonna make it work ?

? Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ?

? But I always got your back ?

? Nobody can do it like I can ?

? I got to find out who I am ?

? Ain't got to worry about me ?

? It's all part of the plan ?

? I keep it undercover ?

? I keep it undercover ?

Well, it looks like
Marisa's stuck in prison

till we can find Bernice.

You know, for once, I'd like this house

to descend into chaos
while I'm on a mission

and your father's at home.

All right, what do we know?

Nothing. Bernice could be
anywhere at this point.

We don't even know her last name

or if Bernice is just an alias.

And for her sake, I hope it is,

'cause who names their kid Bernice?

My original name was 6212171

dash X2P.

"Bernice" doesn't sound
as bad now, does it?

Uh, KC, there's something
you should see on the TV.

Okay, Ernie, you can bore me with
your dragon shows later, all right?

You're on TV.

TV: We have a composite
sketch of the suspect,

a young female

who so far has robbed
14 convenience stores.

She's been dubbed the
Inconvenience Store Robber.

KC! How could you?!

Oh, yeah, that makes
tons of sense, Ernie.

While you were in the bathroom
I drove to Pennsylvania

and robbed 14 convenience stores.

Well, you could have been.

He was in there for over an hour.

The girl came in, and I took
one look at those evil eyes,

I knew she was up to no good.

She took all the cash out the register,

and even took all the pennies out the
Give A Penny, Take A Penny dish!

Now, what kind of monster does that?

Hey, don't look at me,
I always give a penny!

You know what, I'm going to Pennsylvania
and I'm gonna catch Bernice.

Don't you think we should go
with you for backup? I got this.

So you're gonna take care
of this all on your own?

Uh, yeah, all on my own.

Sorta like how you decided
to bust Bernice out

all on your own, and then let
her escape all on your own?

And then disguise your best friend

and put her in jail all on your own?

Sure, go ahead! Mess it all up again

all on your own.

Excuse me, are you implying
I can't do this by myself?

I'm not implying, I'm sayin' it.

You know what? Your brother's right.

Judy, Ernie, you're going with KC.

What? Mom, I... They're
coming with you, KC,

no if, ands, or buts.

If there's no buts, then
why is Ernie going?

Oh, no. She's back.

Look, the cash register's
empty, but help yourself

to all the beef jerky you
want, just don't hurt me.

Okay, relax, relax,

I am not the one who robbed you, okay?

The woman who robbed you
is an escaped convict

who got a face transplant, and...

You know what, just
give me some beef jerky

and you go crouch in
the corner somewhere.

Um, you don't eat beef jerky.

Oh, it's not for me.

What was that for?!

That was for coming with me

when I clearly told you
I didn't need any help.

You know what, Judy, go scan
the parking lot for clues.

Based on the tire tracks and paint
transfer on that light pole,

we're looking for a 2004 American-made

four-door sedan in midnight blue.

The Inconvenience Store
Robber has struck again

In Cherry Hill, New Jersey.

Looks like we're headed to Cherry Hill.

Cherry Hill. A township
in Camden County.

Population 71,000, making it the
15th most populous municipality

in New Jersey.

Current weather: 71 degrees.

Hmm. Thank goodness I'm not
doing this mission alone.

I mean, how else would I have
learned those useless facts?

Well, I guess you could have
done a simple Web search

with the key words...
Okay, you know what?

Just get in the car.

Um, what are you doing?

I'm righting a wrong.

[knock on door]

Hey, Lucy, what's up? Hey!

Well, I am worried sick
about my daughter Marisa.

Aw, don't worry. I'm
sure she'll graduate...

eventually.

But this isn't even about school.

No, Marisa is missing.

No, no, she's not missing.

Oh. Um, she's...

been staying here with us at our house.

Why?

Why? Because, you know,

she's... is mad. At you.

I mean really mad.

She ran away from home

and only got as far as next door?

Boy, that girl is lazier
than I thought she was.

Wait, wait. Why is she even mad at me?

Because, you know, 'cause
of that thing you did.

Oh, because I took away...
Yep, uh-huh, that's it.

Wow. Well, thanks so
much for watching her.

I'm just gonna take her home now.

Oh. Uh... Marisa!

[sing-songy] Time to come ? ho-ome ?

You know what, Lucy? She's
not here right now.

She'll be back in an hour.

Okay. Yeah.

Well, she better be,
because I'm coming back

when the big hand is on the 12

and the little hand is on the...

[phone beeps] Set the
timer for one hour.

No problem...

...that a case of prosthetics,
a voice modulator,

and a good wig can't solve.

[turns off engine]

Okay, so this was the last
convenience store Bernice robbed.

I'm gonna go in. You two stay here.

I need to go with you. I
need a quick recharge.

Maybe they'll let me plug in.

Yeah, an eleven-year-old
with a retractable cord

that comes out of her butt
and plugs into the wall?

That's definitely not gonna
raise any suspicion.

It's a truck stop in Jersey.

I guaranty they've seen worse.

Listen, you two stay here.

At least put this ski mask on.

You don't want the clerk
to think you're Bernice.

He can't think you're a threat.

You want me to put this ski mask on

so that I don't look like a robber?

Uh... yeah.

Well, it sounds dumb when
you put it like that.

Uh, no, it sounds dumb
any way you put it.

( electronic tones )

Uh, Judy, what the heck did you
eat at that convenience store?

I'm getting a breaking news report.

And the infamous
Inconvenience Store Robber

has now identified herself.

Hey. Hey. I'm KC. KC Cooper.

That's C-O-O-P-E-R.

Yeah, that's right.

Look at this face.

This is the face of danger.

And I will not stop

until I am dragged away to
prison for the rest of my life.

And I deserve to pay for my crimes.

With these pennies.

You guys, what am I supposed to do now?

Everybody thinks that I'm the robber.

I'm gonna be a wanted woman.

Well, there's a first
time for everything.

HbSNEYCH catching up to her.

According to the police scanner,

she just robbed this convenience store

five minutes ago.

KC, the cops could be here any second,

and you've been identified.

So we'll go in and talk
to the store clerk.

Well, then, what am I supposed to do?

You just sit here, all alone,
and don't of anything.

You know, pretend it's one of
your regular Saturday nights.

[laughing]

Ha ha ha ha. I don't know
why you're laughing.

That's every night for you.

[police scanner] KC Cooper,

the Inconvenience Store Robber,

has just been seen heading east

on Route 78.

Ernie, Judy, I've located Bernice.

I'm gonna go get her.

No! Don't go alone! Wait for us!

Guys, I got this, okay?

I do not need your help.

[starts car]

I'm in pursuit.

[laughs] Of myself.

[knock on door]

Hmm.

Marisa Clarissa Miller!

You get your butt down here right now!

[Kira's voice] Okay...

here comes undercover mother.

[beep]

[Marisa's voice] Hello, Mother.

I am a teenage runaway,
and it is all your fault.

Look, Marisa, I know I did that thing

that made you mad and stuff,

but enough is enough.

It's time to come home now.

I am not coming home, Mother,

and I honestly don't know when
I will be ready to come home.

So until then, I bid you... adieu.

Don't you sass me with
your fancy Cooper words.

You're coming home with me right now.

No, I'm not. Yes, you are!

No, I'm not! Yes, you are!

No, I'm not! What if
I take you shopping?

Can we buy Kira something expensive

to thank her for her hospitality? Sure!

What are we waiting for, Mommy?
Let's go!

Aha, there you are, you beautiful-on-the-outside,
ugly-on-the-inside maniac.

Okay. Ernie, Judy, I
got eyes on Bernice.

Good teamwork, KC.

We were supposed to be doing
this mission together.

A big part of backing you up
is not being left back here.

Well, if it isn't ugly-on-the-outide,
ugly-on-the-inside KC.

- [crashing]
- [tires squealing]

Hey! Pull over, you
penny-stealing psychopath!

Go read a dictionary, book worm!

Having a fortitude of loquaciousness

is nothing to be ashamed of.

In other words, having a
good vocabulary is cool!

[helicopter hovering]

[helicopter loudspeaker] KC Cooper,

we recognize your face of danger.

Exit your vehicle with your hands up.

[Bernice revs engine]

[sighs]

Hey, uh, Ernie?

Judy? Ha ha.

Something kind of funny happened

while I was trying to
track down Bernice.

We know. You're getting arrested.

How'd you guys know that?

Uh, we're watching it on the news.

But hey, on the bright side,

you did it all on your own.

Hey, guys.

by having an 11-year-old
behind the wheel?

Hey, when your feet are long
enough to reach the pedals,

you can drive.

Why are we even bothering
to help KC at this point?

Based on Bernice's pattern of robbery,

she's heading north-by-northeast,

which means she can only
be heading to one place:

Iceland! She's gonna hide in
the Land of Fire and Ice!

Hey, look at that, I grabbed a car
that has more than one dipstick.

Bernice is heading to Park
Avenue in New York City.

Where there are rich people,
there are plastic surgeons,

and Bernice wants nothing more
than to get her old face back.

So she's been robbing the convenience
stores to pay for her surgery!

What if we're already too
late and she has a new face?

Then we'll just beat it down
till it looks like KC again.

So, what do you feel like ordering?

I'm wondering if they have
that shrimp pasta special?

Marisa! You're allergic to shrimp!

Yeah, I know, I know.

I was just making sure that...

that they didn't have it

in anything I order.

You know, Mom, thank you so much
for taking me shopping today.

I know Kira is gonna love those
expensive, fancy shoes we got her.

You put so much thought into that gift

you'd think you were
buying 'em for yourself.

[forced laughter]

Well, you always taught
me to be generous, so...

No... No, I didn't.

I did have fun with you today.

You are really growing up.

You know, Lucy... uh, I mean, Mom...

I had fun too.

I'm really lucky I have you.

Tell me about it.

Can you imagine if you'd be stuck
with that Kira as a mother?

Excuse me?

Well, I mean, I... I don't
mean to talk out of turn,

but that Kira is a real mess.

[fake laughter] Well, I
don't know about that.

KC's a straight-A student.

Well, of course she is.

She spends all of her
time at the library

away from that mother of hers.

She's...

sketchy, that Kira.

If by "sketchy" you
mean loving, dedicated

and still got it goin' on.

Well, I'll tell ya,
something's goin' on,

because I once saw her at
two-thirty in the morning

getting into a van
with a strange man...

who was tied up!

Well, you know what, maybe
you should be worrying about

where your own daughter is at night.

Where are you at night?

[stammers] In my room, praying,

and thinking about how grateful
I am to have you as a mom.

Now, we weren't talking about me,

we were talking about
that hot mess Kira.

She's awful, isn't she?

Okay, let's find Bernice.

Excuse me.

Dr. Depardieu? From Paris?

Uh, yes.

Uh, I mean, oui.

Arent you a little young
to be a plastic surgeon?

[French accent] Well, that ees
because, I was, how you say it,

child prodigy.

I graduated medical school at fourteen.

Oh, impressive. And you are?

Uh, these is my surgical nurse.

Coco Takanawa?

Is this some kind of joke?

This is obviously a child.

Ha! Ha!

A child? How flattering.

I'm actually a patient of Dr.
Depardieu's,

and I'm sixty-two years young!

But shhh. Don't tell my boyfriend.

Wow! You are good.

Your patient is waiting for
you in operating room A.

Is this patient's name Bernice?

No, it's Harold.

In that case, we need to
consult with Dr. Tuckfeld.

Dr. Tuckfeld is about to start
surgery in operating room B.

Well, B is where we'll be.
Right, Dr. Depardieu?

Oui, oui. B-B.

Bye-bye!

Hurry it up, doc, I can't
wait to get rid of

this disgusting excuse for a face.

Not that I mind the business,

but I'm not a proponent of
unnecessary plastic surgery.

Ah, who cares what you
think, you quack?

Just start slicing.

Oh, and don't be stingy
with that night-night gas.

I don't want to feel a thing.

Stop that surgery!

Ah, come on! Seriously?

Keep back, Dr. Tuckfeld.

That woman is a dangerous fugitive.

I should have known. The ones who pay

with a backpack full
of cash usually are.

Let the doctor go.

No. Not until I get my old face back.

That's what you think. Nurse?

Ohh! I'm going back to
nose jobs and butt work!

Yahh!

[Ernie yelling]

Uh, Judy, you plan on helping?

Hey, I drove the car. Can't
you do anything on your own?

Hey!

Okay, fine.

[whooshing]

I'm an expert in 17 different
kinds of martial arts.

Which one would you prefer
to be beaten up by?

Karate? Yah!

Kung-fu? Waaa.

Or my personal favorite, Judy-Jitsu.

Eeeeyaaagh!

[clank] Aaah! Ow!

This is too weird!

It's like I'm beating up my sister!

Give up? No. It's like I'm
beating up my sis-aaah!

[laughing, shouting]

Whoo! I've been waitin'
sixteen years to do that!

[panting] Nurse...

Ah, well. Welcome home, Bernice.

I'm sure they saved a mattress with
questionable stains just for you.

Great. So I escaped for nothing.

I'll be stuck with these
eyebrows forever.

Seriously, what'd you
do, paint them on?

[sing-songy] I'm ? free-ee ?

[Marisa's voice] KC...

Wait, which one of you is KC?

Of course I know which
one of you is KC.

I'd know my best friend anywhere.

Hug me, I'll cut you.

KC!

I'd know my best friend anywhere.

Can I take this off now?

Yeah, sure, go ahead.

[exhales] Whoo!

Lucky. Last time I tried that,
my face hurt for a week.

I hate you, KC Cooper!

Right back atcha. And I
want my clothes back!

Well, Bernice is
officially behind bars.

And I am finally out of ? pri-son ?

I want to say thank you.

You were right. I... I need the backup,

and I could not have pulled this
whole thing off without you.

We know, because you tried. And failed.

And then tried again. And failed.

And then tried again... You make it
very difficult to be nice to you.

I know. It's kind of my thing.

Oh, KC, look, you're on TV.

...in a case of mistaken identity,

the Inconvenience Store Robber was
falsely identified as KC Cooper.

The real KC Cooper, who had
nothing to do with the robberies,

is a straight-A student,
a model citizen,

and a lover of all animals.

Wow. You guys really
think of everything.

I didn't call that in. Neither did I.

What? Some stuff

you still gotta do all on your own.

[woman] Rob, your name's on TV!

[boing]

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