All language subtitles for The Office Superfan Episodes S05E20 Two Weeks Extended Cut 1080p PCOK WEB-DL DD+5 1 H 264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

I had no idea when I got
into that car to go to New York

that I was going to be quitting.

I got on the ramp
and I was like,

"Two hours. Two hours to go.

Feeling good, crank some tunes.

Should've peed before I left."

Michael, get to the good part.

Okay, so I get
up to the building,

revolving door broken.

Ooh.

So I have to take
the normal door.

Oh my god.

At least he's in the building.

No! No!

I was so nervous, it
was the wrong building.

I had walked into
the wrong building.

He finally has a story
we really wanna hear,

and he knows it.

Okay, focus, focus.

You're in the right building,
you're with the right people,

what happened?

I looked at Wallace
and I said, "I quit."

And as I turned to leave,
I looked back and I said,

"You have no idea
how high I can fly."

You didn't tell him
how sick of him you were?

Why would I do that?

Well, wouldn't it
feel good to tell him

that he's incompetent?

That he's wasted 15
years of your life?

Maybe spit in his face?

You guys have thought about
this a lot more than I have.

I just winged it.

I love a good quitting story.

It makes me feel like I have
control over my own life.

It gives me hope.

Maybe I'll have one of my
own someday (chuckles).

But I dream, so...

(bright upbeat music)

(telephone rings)

(Michael laughs)

About a week ago, Michael
gave his two weeks notice,

and surprisingly, there
is a very big difference

between Michael trying
and Michael not trying.

(Michael moans)

This is Michael's last week,
so I hope

to see some improvement in my
blood pressure.

Michael, is that scotch?

Scotch and Splenda.

Tastes like Splenda, gets
you drunk like scotch.

(Michael slurps)
(telephone rings)

Clinky. Clinky-clink.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

What am I gonna do?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do,

I'm gonna do a little bit of
this, a little bit of that.

I'm gonna stay up all day.

I'm gonna sleep up all night.

I'm gonna give it a ho!

Hey! Ho!

And I'm gonna stop
worrying about calories.

Maybe you should
go into your office,

close the door, and make
some calls about jobs.

I have a job.

For four more days.

- Yes.
- What about after that?

Maybe I'll travel.

Maybe I'll go
entertain the troops.

Do you have any
leads on a job?

Pam, what you
don't understand,

at my level, you don't just look

in the wanted ads for a job.

You're head-hunted.

Have you called
any head hunters?

Any good head hunter
knows that I am available.

Any really good head hunter

will storm your village at
sunset with overwhelming force

and cut off your head
with a ceremonial knife.

Right, because that's
what we're talking about.

I need you to go
over this client list

and indicate any
wrong or false data.

Your I need you
to is my command.

Okay.

We were letting Michael
serve out his two weeks

so he could go out with,
um, with some dignity.

At least that was our intention.

Oh, Michael. Where
are you gonna go?

What are you gonna do?

Well, this is gonna
give me a chance

to spend some more
time with my condo.

Yeah.

You know what I wanna do?

I wanna go to Mexico.

- Mm-hm.
- And just make jewelry,

and be naked, drink
margaritas all day,

have amazing sex.

Maybe I'll come.

No, you can't come.

It's just me and Charles.

Right.

Maybe you'd want a dog though.

Mm, I don't want
some weird Mexican dog.

What about a cat?

Hey, Michael.

Hey.

Can I talk to
you for a minute?

You can talk to me
for as long as you want,

because I have all
the time in the world.

(Andy chuckles)
Oh, God.

Phyllis.

I just wanted to
tell you that...

Oh, oh! What's that?

Oh, hey. What is this about?

You know, 'cause you're
leaving and everything.

- Oh.
- It's farewell.

Right.

I never told anybody this,

but when I first transferred
here from Stamford,

I was really
vulnerable, and alone,

and scared, and homesick,

and I cried myself to
sleep every single night.

And you made me feel
welcome and comfortable.

It was awesome,
and you're awesome,

and I will never forget that.

So I hope I get to work
with you someday again.

Me, too. Me, too.

- Is this wine?
- Ah!

Busted. Yes.

I already have wine.

Oh.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Isaac Shelby, here
for the interview.

Yes. Please have a seat.

It'll be a few minutes.

Thank you.

You interviewing too?

Mm.

Hm?

Interviewing?

For?

Regional manager.

Yes, I am.

For regional manager,

I've decided to go
with an outside hire,

for obvious reasons.

I always thought that they
should call these inner views,

because it allows the employer
to look inside of you.

Wow.

Where are you from?

Philly.

That's a drive.

Yeah, well, this is one of
the few places that's hiring.

It's brutal out there.

Yeah.

Well, quality people
rise to the top,

especially in paper.

Well, I had a similar
attitude 10 months ago.

(Michael sighs)

Hey, do you have a resume?

Yeah.

- Mind if I take a look at it?
- Sure.

Size up the competition.

(Issac chuckles)

Oh.

President, president,
vice president.

How much of this stuff is real?

That's a real resume.

Oh, you went to
school for a long time.

Do you mind if I keep this?

I think I'd like it back.

Okay.

All right.

- Pam?
- Mm-hm?

When will the new
copier be ready?

I'm working on it, Kev.

You said it would
be ready by today,

and it is today.

It'll be ready soon.

Soon could mean anything.

Soon could be three weeks.

Is that what
soon means to you?

Sometimes.

Then come back soon.

During the course of business,

a copier goes through something
called normal wear and tear.

I think it's 75 cents.

That's a lot.

Bandit, no.

No, no, no.

Yesterday they
delivered the new one,

but they didn't set it up,

so my day just got a
little more interesting.

(keyboards clicking)

(Michael clears throat)

(telephone rings)

Hey, Toby. I have a real
quick question for you.

Sure.

What should your resume be

and what should you
do with your life?

Okay. Two questions, I guess.

Fine. No, no, no.

I'm sticking to what I said,

one question with two parts.

Okay, well look,
the second part,

you know, that's
really personal.

I mean, only you
can answer that.

So you're trying
to get out of it?

God. Thanks for
your help, moron.

Okay, well look, the resumes,

I can really help you there. I
must read 20 a day.

Okay, good.

Write this down.

Okay.
(Michael clears throat)

Born in a medium-sized town,

Michael Gary Scott always
knew he was different.

Okay, so we might
start with, let's see,

your most recent thing,
summary of achievements.

What have you done
here at Dunder Mifflin?

Changed things,
ushered in a new era

of love and comedy
in the workplace,

hired many, fired few,

made money, lost money,

learned to stop counting.

This is our moment.

This is our time.

This next part should
be sung, if possible.

(monsters growling)

It's monster.com, singular.

Thank you.

You work in paper long enough,

you get to know the players.

[Man] Hi, you've
reached Prince Paper.

We are sad to inform
you that after 40 years

of serving the community,

we are no longer in business.

Thank you for your support,
and may God bless you.

[Woman] Bye.

(Michael sighs)

What am I gonna do?

Uh.

(Michael chuckles)

Excuse me.

Hello.

Hey.

Having a nice stay here?

Great.

You must be from Jamba Juice.

Uh, why, what's that?

It's a juice company,
'cause you're a smoothie.

Okay.

- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, sorry.

Sorry about that.

(Kelly screams)

Why do I ever talk?

Just shut up, shut up, shut up!

Psst.

(telephone rings)

Psst.

Yeah?

You want me to come
into your office?

Oh.

Okay.

All right.

Look, close your eyes.

- I'd prefer not to.
- Just close your eyes.

(Michael laughs)

I'm going to start
my own paper company.

(Michael laughs)

You're starting your
own paper company?

- Yeah.
- Why?

Can you believe?

'Cause I know paper.

I know everything there
is to know about paper.

Do you know that the
industry's in decline?

Yeah.

Oh, God. I practically
invented decline.

- Right?
- Right.

I know paper, I
know how to manage.

I have a name. Close your eyes.

No, I did that before.

- It added nothing.
- Just close 'em.

Okay.

All right, Michael
Scott Paper Company.

You want in?

You wanna be a part of this?

I am not gonna do this.

Oh.

And you are not
going to either.

Oh, agreed.

- Except-
- Here's the thing.

What I wish for you
is that you land a job

at a company that A,
exists, and B, has a salary,

because they're set up
to do that kind of thing.

Hey, hey.

What's up, Chuck?

- Jim.
- Hey.

What are you doing?

Nothing. Just talking.

Okay.

Michael handed in his two week
notice, did you also hand in

- your two week-
- I didn't.

No? Okay.

(Charles sighs)

After you.

- No, I'm staying.
- Okay.

(keyboards clicking)

You want me to translate the
German instructions for you?

No, I'm sure they're
pretty much the same

as the English instructions.

(scoffs) Typical
American arrogance

that got us involved in a war
we never should have been in.

- That's a really-
- World War II.

Well, fine.

Do the German instructions say
what this is supposed to do?

Deutsche.

Let me see here.

That is either an
incense dispenser

or a ceremonial sarcophagus.

Hm.

Yeah.

Probably.

My German is pre-industrial
and mostly religious.

For instance, my
word for tech support

is the same as coffin maker.

- Hey, Pam?
- Yes?

- I'm going out, okay?
- Okay.

Hey, Michael.

Oh, Pam.

Oh, where are my belts?

If David calls,
phone into my cell.

Absolutely.

Pam.

Did you find your belts?

No, no.

This order form,
instead of saying

Dunder Mifflin at the top,

is there any way I could get
it to say something else?

Like Michael
Scott Paper Company?

Oh, somebody's
been talking in bed.

Pillow talk.

Yeah.
(Michael chuckles)

Listen, Michael.

Have you really
thought this through?

'Cause it's a pretty big risk.

This is a dream that
I have had since lunch,

and I am not giving
up on it now.

Yeah.

You could give it
up, though. Right?

And almost no one would know.

Pam, those who stick to
doing what they do best

may never do what they do best,

because they're stuck
doing what they did best.

I memorized that as a
child, and I live by it.

You've been living by that?

Mm-hm.

Before you got here,

I'm the one who landed
all of these clients.

Half of 'em, at least.
I can do it again.

I know the market, I
know the price points.

I'm on it. Don't worry.

So how do I do that?

Well, um, you can scan it,

and then you can
upload the image,

and then you can copy-

Could I take a piece of paper

and just tape it with
transparent tape?

Yeah.

Good.

Oh. Thank you very much.

Mm-hm.

Hey, Double D.

What's up, Mike?

Michael.

- Hey.
- Hey.

If you'll just
excuse us for a sec.

You know what, you could stay.

Why don't we...

This is good.

I just had a question.

You guys work in a warehouse.

How much warehouse
space do you think

a paper company would need

if it had like 25 clients,

hoping somebody to expand?

Maybe like a garage.

What, you starting
your own company?

Mm-mm. No.

Can I invest?

Yes.

- Can I invest?
- Yeah.

Aw, my money's tied up.

All tapped up.

- Shoot!
- Darn it.

It sounded like a sure thing.

Oh, doesn't it?

Mike, I'll answer
all your questions,

but I need you to
know something.

I'm messing with you.

This doesn't sound
like a good idea.

Understood.

Okay.

He wanted to start
his own company,

and I was just trying
to dissuade him.

I tried. I honestly tried.

This will work.

It has to work. I
have a mouth to feed.

It's a gecko.

I stupidly got it
because I thought

it would be a great
conversation starter.

It has yet to start
a conversation.

Anyway, I have no reason to
believe that I can't do this.

So that is why I have to
leave at 5:00 on Tuesdays,

it's to pick up my little
sisters from school.

We're really tight. We're
like the Kardashians.

You know you can run
this stuff by Toby?

- (knocking at door)
- Yeah, I don't like

- talking-
- Come in.

I'm sorry, I didn't
realize you were with anyone.

But I just wanted to
bring you the brochure

on that accounting seminar
that I was telling you about-

- Yep.
- Earlier.

Okay, we're in the
middle of something-

Actually, you know, it
was so much fun last year.

There was a sundae bar.

I mean, I didn't have any,
you know, to stay trim.

Did Michael just let
anybody in his office?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- He loved it.
- Yes, he loved it.

He invited us in all the time.

- Yeah.
- He was like, "Come in."

I am aware of the
effect I have on women.

So you should be
heading back to your desk.

Okay. Bye, Charles.

Well, you'll let me know.

Goodbye.

She's such a special person.

She's turning 50 this year.

You know, I gotta look
into Michael's policy

on inter-office dating.

I get the idea he encouraged it.

I'm starting my
own paper company.

- No way!
- Yeah.

In this climate?

Yeah, in all climates.

It's going to be worldwide,

and I'm looking for some
talented salesman to join me.

That's where you come in.

I would love to
go with Michael,

but the Bernards have always

maintained a rare quality
of self-preservation.

In French, it is referred
to as (speaks French).

(speaks French)

There's no word
for it in English.

Well, it's a very intriguing
concept, isn't it?

Um.

Mm.

Michael is starting
his own paper company.

What do you think about that?

Your own paper company?

Can you believe it?

Well, we'll see.

- We'll see.
- Wow.

It's a nugget of
an idea right now,

- so-
- Right.

Potential, lots of potential.

Yes.

What a courageous venture.

It's very courageous,
very exciting.

It's such an
amazing opportunity.

I would be a fool to pass it up.

I would be a fool to
pass up the opportunity

to ask you to be a part
of the opportunity.

Um, location is hard for me

- with the farm-
- That's what I was thinking.

- And the responsibilities-
- That's what I was thinking.

With the farm-

- That's so crucial.
- You getting to

wherever I'm gonna put my thing.

- Okay.
- So think about it.

- Yeah.
- Let's put a pin in it for now.

I would love to
put a pin in that.

On the battlefield, when
your commander gets shot,

you can run over to him,

cradle his bloody
torso in your arms

and sing him into death,

or you can write him off,
salute your new captain,

and follow him
until he gets shot.

Everyone, can I
have your attention?

This is the moment you've
all been waiting for.

Right?

(fingers drumming)

Little miss thing
wants attention.

Meredith.

(Pam sighs)

(copy machine whirs)

(copy machine beeps)
Oh.

So G44.

It's not ready, Kevin.

I am at a crucial point
where I have sunk four hours

into that copier,

and I am not gonna
let it beat me

like that wireless router did.

[Oscar] You put
a note in my food?

I made it sterile.

Just saying it's sterile
doesn't make it so.

I am offering you
the opportunity of a lifetime, Oscar,

to come work for me.

Do you have a business plan?

(Michael laughs)
A funding request?

Market research?

- Financials?
- No.

- No, no.
- You need those things.

Most new businesses,

they don't make a profit
'til at least two years.

And then your margins
will be razor thin.

Best case scenario, you
don't cut yourself a salary

for at least five years.

Can you go five years
without a salary, Michael?

- Okay.
- Five years?

Hey, you already have the job.

You don't have to convince me.

It's just not
prudent, Michael.

[Michael] Stanley.

[Stanley] Can't you
see I'm urinating?

Listen. Listen, Stanley.

- You don't need to answer me now.
- [Stanley] No.

[Michael] Just, I want
you to think about it.

- I am starting my own company.
- [Stanley] No.

Okay, you're not
letting me finish,

and you just lost out
on a million dollars.

[Stanley] No, I didn't.

You know what?

I had a great time at prom,

and no one said yes
to that, either.

How's it working?

Um.

Let's see.

It's fine.

I did it.

I learned everything
about this machine.

I know all the buttons,
even the inside ones.

I know all the error messages.

I could do a bound book in
plastic with offset colors,

which feels...

Look, Michael will
find another job

the same way he found this one.

He'll board a bus,
smell a woman's hair,

follow her to her place of work,

and walk out with an entry
level sales position.

(phone rings)

[Charles] Hey, Hank.

You ready?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Michael?
- Hm?

I can't pretend I
haven't seen that,

so I'm gonna ask
you to stand up,

walk out, and you
can't take anything.

Okay. I have immunity.

It's my two weeks-

Not if you're
starting a competing paper company, Michael.

(Michael laughs)

Hank.

Okay, Michael.

Hank?

You really think Hank is
going to be loyal to you?

Hank, please escort
Charles from the building.

(Hank chuckles)

Come on, man. Let's go.

(phone rings)

I always thought
Michael got a bad rap.

He's a good guy, and
he's super funny.

Yeah. Maybe I should
tell him before he goes.

He's all the way over there.

Maybe I'll run into him
at the mall someday.

(Michael sighs)

Well, here we are.

- I would just like-
- No, no, no, no.

You're done, Michael.

(phone ringing)

All right then,
everybody! I'm outta here!

(indistinct)

What is he doing? It looks
like he's saying something.

I think he's singing.

I can't believe this
is really happening.

Good day to put the top down!

And I feel free!

And just like that,

as mysteriously as he
arrived, he was gone.

I would like to say
that I will miss him.

I would like to say that.

I'll miss him when he dies.

I'm not gonna spend
energy missing him

every step of the way.

I'll miss Michael.

But have you seen this new guy?

When God closes a door,
he opens a window.

If you know what I mean.

Wow.

Old Creedy outlives
yet another boss.

Time to put a marble in the box.

(phone rings)

(dog barking)

The whole office
feels darker, you know?

It's just a sad, dark day.

Andy, he's gone.

[Andy] I know.

You don't have to
kiss his ass anymore.

Michael's like a movie
on a plane, you know?

It's not great, but it's
something to watch, you know?

And then when it's over,

you're like "How much time
is left on this flight?"

You know?

"Now what?"

What a great day today.

Michael Scott Paper Company

is going to need
Post-its, and jumbo clips,

and whatever these are.

Michael.

No!

Michael, hey!

Are you kidding me?

Michael!

Mike!

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Michael. Okay.

Okay, Michael is not allowed
in the building. Okay?

Persona non grata, got it?

Persona non grata!

Got it.

Yeah.

I mean,

I mean, he, Michael
is, you know, I'm...

(Charles sighs)

(telephone rings)

Michael.

Shh, shh, shh.

Don't look down.

Look straight up.

Come on. Ow!

Please.

These are for employees only.

Angela, Kevin, help me out.

I just need a few
things and I'll be gone.

To go start your
own paper company?

Yes. It's gonna be great.

Michael, why is it that
you asked everyone except me,

Angela, Creed, and Meredith?

I was going to.

I wanted to, but I had
to start somewhere.

And you didn't
wanna start with us?

No, of course not.

But now I want everybody.

Dwight.

Hey, in reference to the
conversation that we had before-

What an amazing opportunity.

Yeah.

I would be so honored.

We should address that
in a couple of weeks.

Absolutely, okay.

Just taking a little
time (indistinct).

Jim.

Hey.

Jim.

Did you have time to
think about my offer?

I did have a chance
to think about it,

but then I thought
about something else.

So which way are you leaning?

Well, it is tempting,

but I am 100% leaning
towards passing.

(door opens)

Hey, did anyone
see the client list

that Michael was supposed
to be working on?

- No.
- Okay.

Let me know if you find it.

(door clicks shut)

Okay.

Guys.
(telephone rings)

Listen.

Okay. Okay.

We don't have much time.

Just act normal.

Don't look at me.

People, stop.

Don't look down.

Don't look down or
he's gonna see me.

Not all the way up.

Keep 'em at a
normal height, okay?

This is not Michael
Scott talking right now.

This is your future.

Hello, I am your future.

You are older and you
are very happy now

because you went with
Michael Scott, right?

So everybody come on down,

and let's just crawl
out of here together.

All right?

Come on.

Are you doing your best here?

Are you being the
best that you can be?

All right, everybody
who's gonna go with me,

I want you to stomp your foot.

Okay.

All right.

Come on.

Come on.

You're coming with me.

Come on, Phyllis.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Michael! Get up.

Oh, God. Okay.

All right, all right.

Time to go. Time to go.

Jim, let's go. Come on!

- Come on!
- Michael.

What are you doing?

I think maybe Hank
should be here.

Hank?

No, I don't need Hank.

You're gonna mess with me? Is
that what you're gonna do?

I'll tell you
something, Charles.

I don't even care, because
I've got nothing to lose.

- Okay.
- Oh my God!

Oh, God!

No! No!

All right. It's not worth it.

(door clicks shut)

(door slams shut)

- Oh, no.
- What?

I'm going with him.

What?

- Pam?
- I'm going.

Pam.

You can't be serious.

Michael, wait!

I'm coming with you.

You are?

Yeah.

(Michael laughs)

Okay. It's gonna be great.

Great.

Except I don't wanna be
a receptionist anymore.

Right.

Executive assistant.

Salesman.

All right.

Okay.

- Deal.
- Deal.

Okay. Well, Jim?

Still no.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Well, let's go.

Oh, all my stuff
is still upstairs.

Are people watching?

Probably.

Michael, it's not how
you leave an office,

- it's how you-
- Jim, Jim, Jim.

We're having a
company meeting here.

I will bring all
your stuff home.

- Okay.
- All right.

I'll see you later.

- Bye.
- See you later.

(Michael laughs)

So we had a
personnel change today.

Shouldn't affect our day to day,

but until we get a
new receptionist,

I want Kevin on the phones.

Phones.

Also, there's been way
too much wasting time.

- So Stanley.
- Yes?

Yeah, I want you
on top of that.

Okay? I want you to be
my productivity czar.

Okay? Good.

Okay, that's it on my list.

So, you know, no excuses, guys.

Let's get going, okay?

(bright upbeat music)