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1
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:12,804
This is a gift for your
many years of service here.
2
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,639
Wow.
Thanks, Michael.
3
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,225
Can I just say that of all
4
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,979
the idiots in all the idiot
villages in all the idiot
5
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,816
worlds, you stand
alone, my friend.
6
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,735
- Hello.
- Hey.
7
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:29,195
Hi.
Good to see you.
8
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:31,573
Just having a little
exit interview.
9
00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:33,324
Yeah, I know.
That's why I'm here.
10
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,493
No, no, no. This is
very boring stuff.
11
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,661
Why don't you take a tour?
12
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,829
Have you seen the baler?
13
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,415
No, I'll look at it later.
14
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:43,043
It's part of my job.
15
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:46,838
Okay.
16
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,632
Did you need me
to take notes?
17
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,968
- Hey Pam, stay.
- Okay.
18
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,388
Um
19
00:00:56,097 --> 00:01:00,101
Alright.
Well, then I will proceed.
20
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,394
I just have some
21
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,397
questions that I
was going to ask.
22
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:08,902
Um.
23
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:14,240
Who do you think you are?
24
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,247
I'm Toby.
25
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:24,459
Yeah, correct.
26
00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:26,795
Um.
27
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,339
What gives? What...
28
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,258
What gives you the right?
29
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:36,596
I brought the binder.
30
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,348
Do you want to take
a little look?
31
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,599
Sure.
You know what?
32
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,434
That sounds good.
I'll take a little looksie.
33
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,770
- Here we go.
- Thank you.
34
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:52,028
What would you improve
about Dunder Mifflin?
35
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,738
This place? Um,
I got some ideas.
36
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,156
No, no, no, no, no, no.
37
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,826
No, I'm not asking it.
I'm just reading it out loud.
38
00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,869
I'd like to hear the answer.
39
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:04,916
Well, let me see.
I would, um...
40
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,469
(whispering) I'll kill you.
41
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,932
I guess everything's okay.
42
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,560
I made it this far, right?
43
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,270
What's the point?
44
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,439
Toby, why don't you open
your present?
45
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,276
No, no, no, no, no.
No, hey, hey, hey.
46
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,279
This might not be what I
think that I don't even know
47
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,531
is in there because there are
a lot of presents in my car
48
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,033
and I don't know which is which.
49
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,201
Suck on this.
50
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,998
What the hell is that?
51
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,082
- Michael?
- That's,
52
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,084
what do you mean, Michael?
53
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,795
That's not even
my handwriting.
54
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:54,924
Hey, what the hell
is going on here?
55
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:56,843
Who thought it would be
56
00:02:56,885 --> 00:03:00,638
hysterical to give Toby a rock
for his going away gift?
57
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,057
- You did?
- No!
58
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:04,642
You made me wrap it. I
thought it was over the line.
59
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,728
Okay, you know what that is?
You know what that is?
60
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,188
That is
61
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,192
a psych.
62
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:14,861
Psych.
63
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,030
So, that is not
my real gift to Toby.
64
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,114
So, what is your gift?
65
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,116
My gift is forthcoming, Pam.
66
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:21,618
What is it?
67
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:28,249
- I am going to give Toby...
- Your watch?
68
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,046
Yes, I am.
69
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,382
That was it.
70
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:38,009
- How did you know that?
- I just knew.
71
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,804
- How did you know?
- Oh, that is so sweet.
72
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,848
- Well, that's my watch.
- Thanks.
73
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,017
I'm going to set it to
Costa Rica time.
74
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,227
Hey, that's good.
75
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,771
It's the kid, look, look,
look, look.
76
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:53,191
Hey, it's the temp, look.
77
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,276
- Oh, my gosh.
- It's the temp.
78
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,946
- Is that the police?
- Yes.
79
00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,531
Well, this is what happened.
80
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,282
Ryan's big project was
81
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:04,536
the web site,
which wasn't doing so well.
82
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:05,954
So, Ryan,
83
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:09,207
to give the impression of
sales, recorded them twice.
84
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,875
Once as office sales, and once
85
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,711
as web site sales,
which is what we refer
86
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,714
to in the business as
misleading the shareholders.
87
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,591
Another good term is fraud.
88
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:23,388
The real crime, I think,
was the beard.
89
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,558
(upbeat theme music)
90
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,912
- Oh, my God, Ryan.
- Oh, my God.
91
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,748
Troy, do you
know anything about this?
92
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:50,957
Maybe I do.
93
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,126
Maybe I do. Enough
of your magical riddles.
94
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,005
{\an8}I cannot wait to visit
Ryan in prison.
95
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,548
{\an8}I'm going to wear my hottest
96
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,426
{\an8}tracksuit and get my hair done
and then be like, Hi, Ryan.
97
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,094
{\an8}And then all the other
prisoners are going to be
98
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,639
{\an8}like, damn, Ryan,
you got a hot ex-girlfriend.
99
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,266
{\an8}Oh, I would've never
treated her so
100
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,435
{\an8}bad when I was
outside of prison.
101
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,023
Play it again.
102
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,942
[Holly] What's protocol on
this?
103
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,362
{\an8}Don't really do
nothing, I guess.
104
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,992
(knock at the door)
105
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,495
{\an8}Michael, are you okay?
106
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,955
{\an8}I'm just worried
about my friend.
107
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,582
{\an8}Of course, you are.
108
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,542
I'm fine.
109
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,128
{\an8}I'm holding it together.
I have a business to run.
110
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,630
No, hey, stop.
111
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,341
You can let yourself be upset.
He's your friend.
112
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:48,640
You know what I usually find?
113
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,643
{\an8}Holly is sweet and simple.
114
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,561
{\an8}Like a lady baker.
115
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:58,233
{\an8}I would not be surprised
to find out that she had
116
00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,694
{\an8}worked in a bakery
before coming here.
117
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,404
{\an8}She's that kind of warmth.
118
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,284
{\an8}I'm pretty sure she's baked
on a professional level.
119
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:12,247
{\an8}And if the food stations
are here and here.
120
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,373
{\an8}No,
121
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,542
{\an8}here and here.
122
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,836
Drinks here, then
people can mingle.
123
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,754
But then where
would the band go?
124
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:23,425
- What about there?
- No, Bob.
125
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,218
I don't know.
126
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,511
It's times like these.
127
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,139
I wish my mother were
with me right now.
128
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,934
She'd show me what to do,
but that's stupid.
129
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,394
She's not here.
130
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:41,026
She's at Water Aerobics
for the next 45 minutes.
131
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,902
Phyllis, is that going
to be enough food?
132
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,362
That's all I have
in the budget.
133
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,323
Is it just a matter
of money?
134
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,577
Oh, Bob.
135
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,705
Anything for my lovely.
136
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,540
What would I do without you?
137
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,834
I hope you never
have to find out.
138
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,587
See you at the party.
139
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,631
Play it again.
140
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,723
Hey, I got all your texts.
141
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,767
- What's up?
- Darryl.
142
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,362
Ryan thinks he's so cool
143
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,781
getting carted off to prison
in a designer suit.
144
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,200
Well, guess what.
You'll get yours one day, Ryan.
145
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,952
Would you do me a favor
and connect me to Ryan?
146
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,454
Absolutely.
147
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:39,876
(clears throat)
148
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:41,920
Right to voicemail.
149
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,632
Hey, Ryan, it's Jim.
You know what?
150
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,343
Totally disregard that last
voicemail because you
151
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,220
obviously have
your hands tied.
152
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,638
Good luck.
153
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,476
♪
154
00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:00,438
Cool. A bouncy house.
155
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,565
Kevin, take your
shoes off first.
156
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,485
♪
157
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,446
No antigravity machine, huh?
158
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,990
Sorry, Michael, I don't
think they're real.
159
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,867
Ferris wheel is
pretty cool, though.
160
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,495
Wow.
Look at our parking lot.
161
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,664
Yeah, who would've thought?
162
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:24,504
♪
163
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,758
Is Jim going
to propose tonight?
164
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,427
He is, isn't he?
165
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,886
No, he's not.
166
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:33,930
Is he?
167
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,477
Oh, he didn't
just eat, did he?
168
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:42,355
I don't know.
He's kind of always eating.
169
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,484
You know, there's not enough
barbecue sauce for the ribs.
170
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,528
Can one of you pick up
some more?
171
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:49,863
Phyllis?
172
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,616
I'll take care of it.
I mean, you can't throw
173
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,202
a party without the help of
the committee, can you?
174
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,496
That would be terrific, Angela.
175
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,165
It would really mean a lot.
176
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,666
It's no problem, Phyllis.
177
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,589
♪
178
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,218
♪
179
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,097
Why don't we eat more corn
dogs? They're delicious.
180
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,600
- Totally. They're the best.
- Corn dogs should be
181
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,227
the standard. Corn dogs
should be called hot dogs.
182
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,730
And hot dogs should
be called bad dogs.
183
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,232
Why don't we make
corn burgers?
184
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,984
What a messed-up world.
185
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,780
Seriously, do you
like my idea?
186
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,366
Corn burgers?
187
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,701
Hey, why don't we go
on the Ferris wheel?
188
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,787
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
189
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,458
♪
190
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:46,878
Hey, Creed.
191
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,256
- Hey.
- Go, go, go. Jim, shut it.
192
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,259
Creed, I think Pam and I
were just going to...
193
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,762
Shut it,
Thank you.
194
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:02,686
♪
195
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,359
What do we have?
196
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,736
They say that they
have ribs on the way.
197
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,321
Oh, yeah.
198
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:16,241
But if you line up enough corn
dogs, it looks just like ribs.
199
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,993
- Yes, that's true.
- Can't beat a corn dog.
200
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,330
Yes, you can't. I'll have
50 corn dogs, sir?
201
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:27,544
So, I'm going to start walking
around, I guess.
202
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:32,590
Heading in a direction
a lot of different...
203
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,426
Which way?
Which way should I head?
204
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,261
- Do you think?
- That way?
205
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:39,597
- No, I'm not gonna...
- That way?
206
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,808
All right, that sounds good.
207
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,436
It was a pretty
good company
208
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,354
but I just couldn't
see a future there.
209
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,773
They kept hiring
from the outside.
210
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,985
It was easy to get in,
but impossible to rise up.
211
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,278
That's what she...
212
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,363
A lot of places are like that.
213
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,867
I think it's really
cool you hired Kevin.
214
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,326
Thanks.
215
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,790
♪
216
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,502
Now?
217
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,923
♪
218
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,968
- You have it?
- Almost.
219
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,350
Here we go. Here we go.
Put it in.
220
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,104
That's my car.
221
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,691
Hey, what are you doing?
222
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,777
Mose!
223
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,028
What the hell is
going on here?
224
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,654
Nothing you need to know
the details about.
225
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,073
There is a raccoon
in the car, Dwight!
226
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,324
No, there's not.
227
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,326
- Why did you do that?
- It was playful hazing.
228
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:44,120
No, there's no such
thing as playful hazing.
229
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,831
Dwight, I want you to look
at Holly right now.
230
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,459
Everybody, I want you
to look at Holly right now.
231
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,002
And maybe if you look at her
232
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,047
deeply enough, you will
see what I see in her.
233
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:59,260
And that is that we are all
very lucky to have her here.
234
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:02,097
Holly is the best thing
235
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:07,310
that has happened to this
company since World War II.
236
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,729
50 years.
She is the best.
237
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,691
Take care of that.
All right?
238
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,651
- It's not rabid.
- Shh.
239
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,528
Thanks for
bringing that up.
240
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,321
Get it out.
Come on, get out.
241
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,365
- I'm really sorry.
- Michael,
242
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,159
thank you so much
for saying that.
243
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,912
I feel so welcome here.
244
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,085
Um, excuse me.
245
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,340
Did you see that?
Did you see it?
246
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:38,758
Did you see what?
247
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,593
Wow, wee.
248
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,013
Well, Jan didn't believe
249
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:46,683
in showing affection, so
sometimes I don't know how
250
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,727
to react when her
girl touches me.
251
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:53,106
Oh, I like it.
(laughs)
252
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,570
Hey, Mrs.
Vance, we're all out.
253
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,781
Hey, Angela, we need
the barbecue sauce.
254
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:02,824
Wow.
255
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:05,535
Did I forget to buy more?
256
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:06,995
Now you know what it feels
257
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,581
like to have
an incompetent assistance.
258
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,876
♪
259
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:16,046
Hey, Kev, I need
you to do me
260
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,049
a solid and go buy some
more barbecue sauce.
261
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,593
Okay.
262
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:28,558
Cool. You drive your
own car?
263
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,810
Yup, this is my car.
264
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,063
Do you drive your own car?
265
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:37,817
- Yup, just like you.
- Okay, Bye.
266
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,152
Bye.
267
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:44,741
Kevin, I'm
really proud of you.
268
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:51,498
I need you to make
269
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,958
an announcement that this
party is a disaster.
270
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:57,045
But I don't think
it's a disaster.
271
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,381
I think it's fun
and I like the food.
272
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,424
Deep fried Twinkies.
It's gross.
273
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,093
- Is that what that is?
- Yes.
274
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,636
You know what?
I didn't try those.
275
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,137
I can try this
276
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,181
Ugh.
277
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:11,184
Fried Twinkies.
You kidding me?
278
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:13,812
Starting to wonder about
the food in this place.
279
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,731
Oh, God, that is so good.
280
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,361
All right, let's
hear it for Phyllis
281
00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,571
for this awesome party, huh?
282
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,740
Probably the best
one that we've ever had.
283
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,200
(applause and cheering)
284
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:31,079
But the real reason that we
are here is to say goodbye
285
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:34,916
to a guy who we will probably
never, ever see again.
286
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:36,334
And who will probably never
287
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:41,256
even visit because Puerto Rico
is so very far away.
288
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:45,010
I would like to bring
up Toby Flenderson.
289
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,679
Come on up here.
Come on. No, no, no.
290
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,597
- No, that's okay.
- Toby.
291
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:55,895
[Everyone] Toby, Toby, Toby,
Toby, Toby, Toby.
292
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,773
Toby has written
a fantastic speech for you.
293
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,026
He spent a year on it.
294
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,694
It's very funny and charming
295
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,196
and heartwarming,
and it rhymes.
296
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,241
And if it's not any good,
he has instructed us all
297
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:11,411
to storm the stage and beat
him to a bloody pulp.
298
00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,454
No. (laughs)
299
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,497
So, take it away,
Toby!
300
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:17,083
Woo!
(clapping)
301
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,794
Well, uh, okay.
302
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,465
It's really great
to be here tonight.
303
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:28,428
The Ferris wheel, the band,
and the low sunlight.
304
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,348
I'll miss you all when
I go to Costa Rica.
305
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,308
And if I keep drinking beer
306
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:36,186
like this, I'm going
to have to take a leak-a.
307
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,604
(laughter)
308
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,647
On a more personal note,
I just want to say thanks.
309
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,650
No matter what was
going on in my life,
310
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,195
my divorce or the custody
311
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,238
battle or that thing
with my sister,
312
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,950
it was just nice knowing I had
a supportive place to come to.
313
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,036
- Okay, play the cut off music.
- No.
314
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,662
I'm going to really
miss going
315
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,165
to Beers with you guys
every Tuesday night.
316
00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,750
Yeah.
317
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,878
And lastly, I'd love to urge
you to keep up with my fight,
318
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,798
to have the building
checked for radon gas.
319
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,800
You know,
It's a real serious matter.
320
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:09,010
And every time I try to
have the...
321
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,680
Blah, blah, blah,
overstaying your welcome.
322
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,348
Let's keep it moving.
Let's keep it moving.
323
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,100
Toby, everybody
324
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,518
(applause)
325
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,353
Now a lot of
you know that I
326
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:20,980
- am an accomplished songwriter.
- Song, parody writer.
327
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:24,067
I have done things
like Beers in Heaven.
328
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:26,986
- Classic.
- Or Total Eclipse of the Fart
329
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:29,114
- I like that one.
- I love them to sing them,
330
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:32,283
but I am not going
to be doing that today.
331
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,410
I am going to be doing
332
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:36,121
something I wrote
specifically for Toby.
333
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,956
Do you know, um?
334
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,834
- Goodbye Stranger. Supertramp?
- Yeah.
335
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,627
♪
336
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,171
♪ It was early morning,
yesterday ♪
337
00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:48,758
♪ I was up before the dawn ♪
338
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,097
♪ and I really have
enjoyed my stay ♪
339
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:57,267
♪ Toby must be moving on ♪
340
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,311
When I had my colitis.
341
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,771
Toby was very helpful.
342
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:05,066
He gave me seven weeks off.
When I had my acid reflux,
343
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:09,070
Toby was not as helpful,
so, I'm mixed on Toby.
344
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,239
I gave Toby my buddy Jorge's
345
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,366
number in Costa. He'll hook
Toby up with everything.
346
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:14,993
Cable TV, women.
347
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:18,121
Oh, and this amazing
coffee to snort.
348
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:20,582
Toby seemed like a nice guy.
349
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:22,792
I never actually
talked to him.
350
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,086
About five years after we
started working together,
351
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:28,048
we were alone in the kitchen,
and I almost said something
352
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:31,051
to him,
but by then it seemed
353
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:33,887
there were more than enough
people to talk to already.
354
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:37,766
♪ Goodbye Toby,
it's been nice ♪
355
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:41,019
♪ Hope you find
your paradise ♪
356
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,812
I'm going to miss Toby.
357
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:46,775
He has a nice, calming
presence in the office.
358
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,276
And don't tell him I said
359
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:50,737
this, but I always thought
he was kind of cute.
360
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:54,908
♪ Come tomorrow,
feel no pain ♪
361
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,162
♪ Feel no pain ♪
362
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:06,961
♪ Toby, Toby, Toby ♪
363
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,964
♪ Toby's going away!
See ya ♪
364
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:13,009
♪ He's outta here, see ya.
He's outta here ♪
365
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:19,557
♪ Goodbye Toby, Goodbye Toby,
Goodbye Toby ♪
366
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,018
♪ Goodbye Toby ♪
367
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:24,562
Toby is very old.
I think that it's good
368
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,191
that he's going to do some
things before he, you know,
369
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,651
dies.
370
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,069
I'm going to cry now.
371
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,072
The Finer Things Club is
going to have a spot to fill.
372
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,407
The candidates are Kevin,
373
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,993
Stanley, Meredith, Creed,
Phyllis, Angela, uh,
374
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:42,914
we may have to change it
to just The Things Club.
375
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:44,874
Toby is the flu.
376
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,377
When the flu is attacking your
body and making you sick
377
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,838
and making you nauseous
and throwing up all over
378
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:54,009
the place, you have
to sweat it out.
379
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,261
And I had to sweat out Toby.
380
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,513
And I feel much better now.
381
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,391
Not bad.
382
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,309
Oh, hey, thanks.
383
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,645
Someday I would love
to hear Beers in Heaven.
384
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:06,646
Oh, okay.
385
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:09,607
Yeah, well,
actually, too soon.
386
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,444
It's very sexual.
387
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,737
(cell phone ringing)
388
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:14,988
Sorry.
389
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,198
Kevin.
390
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:19,617
Kevin, where are you?
391
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,161
You missed my song, buddy.
392
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,079
Yeah, Michael,
I'm at Gerrity's.
393
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,581
You have to come down here.
394
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:25,582
Just pay for it and we'll
395
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:26,791
reimburse you when
you get back.
396
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,501
No, I brought my money.
397
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,628
Michael, there's something
that you need to see.
398
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,672
- What is it?
- Just hurry.
399
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,050
Is he okay?
400
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,218
Yeah, he's at the supermarket,
he needs me.
401
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,679
The party, driving
to the supermarket,
402
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:40,972
it's a big day for him.
403
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,099
Yeah, that's true.
404
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:44,559
Don't move a muscle.
405
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,479
I will be back
momentarily, all right?
406
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:51,107
Finish your drink.
Okay. I'll be back.
407
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:57,072
♪
408
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:00,742
[Jan] It was good to see you.
409
00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:04,454
- It was great to see Jan.
- Wow, okay.
410
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,916
- Hello, Jan.
- Hello, Michael.
411
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,126
Wow.
Kevin really?
412
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,754
Sorry, we're in the middle
of a party.
413
00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:13,922
Is this why you
called me down here?
414
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,091
Yeah, Michael, I just, uh...
415
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,260
I think you kids have
a lot to catch up on.
416
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:20,762
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
417
00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:23,306
Thanks, Kevin. Um...
418
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,732
I can't believe it.
419
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,985
Look at you.
Are you nauseous?
420
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,321
- No.
- Do you have cravings?
421
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,699
You never touched my Propecia
or my Accutane, did you?
422
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:41,908
- No.
- Good.
423
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,869
Thank God.
Cause that's. Wow.
424
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:45,995
I'm so happy.
425
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:48,331
- I am so deliriously happy?
- Why?
426
00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:50,875
Because you're pregnant.
And because it obviously
427
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:51,876
happened when we
were together.
428
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:54,045
And I am very.
429
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,381
Yeah, it did happen
when we were together.
430
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:59,509
That's true, but you...
431
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:02,262
are not...
432
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,432
uh, you're not the dad.
433
00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:17,444
You cheated on me?
434
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:20,405
When I specifically
asked you not to?
435
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:24,617
No, I did not.
I did not cheat on you.
436
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,119
I did not.
437
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,331
Okay, so it's not mine.
438
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,042
And it's not somebody else's.
439
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:35,378
So, I know
440
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,923
the whole toilet seat
thing is a myth, so,
441
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:41,384
I went to a sperm bank.
442
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,804
- You did?
- Yeah.
443
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,514
When we
were going out?
444
00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:47,932
Uh, yeah.
445
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,726
I don't understand.
446
00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:52,479
You always used
to be very cautious.
447
00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:55,315
Wear two condoms.
448
00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:57,817
You'd rather have somebody
else's sperm than my sperm?
449
00:21:57,859 --> 00:22:01,529
No, no, no. It's not just
any sperm bank.
450
00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:06,117
I mean, this is a really
great place. It's amazing
451
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,078
actually. I'm going
to bring you the catalog.
452
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,496
You should look through it.
453
00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:10,955
And in fact, it's right next
454
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:14,459
to that little breakfast place
that you like in the city
455
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:16,211
where you can draw
on the tables.
456
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:18,129
- IHop.
- IHop.
457
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,507
If I was 22 and I had lots
458
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:23,301
of time to have lots
of children, then sure.
459
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:24,636
Let's let Michael have
a shot at one of them.
460
00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:27,472
But honestly, I need
to make this one count.
461
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,265
That's really good.
462
00:22:29,307 --> 00:22:32,852
I feel so much better to get
all that out on the table.
463
00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:34,229
I'm glad you told me.
464
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,689
Look, I don't
know what you're
465
00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:37,691
going to be doing tomorrow,
but I have my Lamaze class
466
00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:41,986
in Allentown, and
you could come.
467
00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:46,783
I usually use a foam noodle
instead of a partner.
468
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:52,706
Um, I'll...
I'll have to think about it.
469
00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:55,709
Okay.
470
00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:59,713
My whole life, I
471
00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:02,173
have known two things.
472
00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:05,468
I love sex, and I
want to have kids.
473
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,095
And I always thought
474
00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:09,347
that those two things
would go hand in hand.
475
00:23:10,265 --> 00:23:12,892
But now I think it might
be one or the other.
476
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,854
Oh look, they're starting.
477
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:18,106
(explosion)
478
00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:20,734
(firework crackling)
479
00:23:21,818 --> 00:23:23,570
(clapping and cheering)
480
00:23:24,362 --> 00:23:26,906
(firework crackling)
♪
481
00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:33,329
♪ I say to myself, you're
such a lucky guy ♪
482
00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:35,749
Well, I hope you
had fun today
483
00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:38,877
because you're never,
ever throwing a party again.
484
00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:45,508
♪ To have a girl like her is
truly a dream come true ♪
485
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:48,094
(firework exploding)
486
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:56,144
♪ Out of all the fellows in
the world she belongs to me ♪
487
00:23:56,186 --> 00:23:58,146
(firework explosion)
488
00:23:58,730 --> 00:24:01,900
♪ Well it was just
my imagination ♪
489
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:02,942
Hey
490
00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:05,445
Can I have your
attention, please?
491
00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:08,531
I was waiting for the right
492
00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:11,910
time to do this,
and I can't think of a better
493
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:15,246
time than right now
with the music playing and all
494
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:19,084
our friends around
and fireworks going off.
495
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:20,835
My parents are here.
496
00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:22,587
Andrew and Ellen Bernard.
497
00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:25,507
Thank you for sharing
in this joyous moment.
498
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:29,803
Miss Angela Martin, will you
please join me on stage?
499
00:24:31,471 --> 00:24:34,391
Okay, then I will come
to you, my flower.
500
00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:36,976
Dammit!
501
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:41,606
Angela.
502
00:24:43,233 --> 00:24:45,944
Will you do me the honor
503
00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:52,325
of giving me your tiny hand
in marriage?
504
00:25:00,709 --> 00:25:01,668
Okay.
505
00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:04,254
Into the mic, sweetie.
506
00:25:04,295 --> 00:25:07,799
- I said, okay.
- She said, yes.
507
00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:09,259
(faint clapping)
508
00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:11,970
And the crowd goes wild.
509
00:25:12,512 --> 00:25:15,348
Woo!
(clears throat)
510
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:19,060
♪
511
00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:20,687
(sigh)
512
00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:23,481
I've been carrying that ring
513
00:25:23,523 --> 00:25:27,360
around in my wallet for six
years because you don't know
514
00:25:27,402 --> 00:25:28,737
when you're going
to meet the right girl.
515
00:25:28,778 --> 00:25:31,072
And the moment is
going to be right.
516
00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:34,034
And tonight,
with the fireworks
517
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:39,330
and the music and everything,
it was right.
518
00:25:39,372 --> 00:25:41,916
- Can I be a bridesmaid?
- No.
519
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:46,087
♪
520
00:25:48,757 --> 00:25:49,799
Well,
521
00:25:51,926 --> 00:25:53,845
it's my own fault.
522
00:25:53,887 --> 00:25:56,014
♪ ♪
523
00:25:56,056 --> 00:26:00,685
Dude, I'm...
I'm engaged.
524
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:03,188
I know, it's awesome man.
It's great.
525
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,982
Mr. Andrew Bernard.
526
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:08,985
It's got a nice ring to it.
527
00:26:10,070 --> 00:26:14,366
Hey. Hey, you know,
I just realized uh,
528
00:26:14,407 --> 00:26:16,534
I don't have a picture
of the two of us.
529
00:26:16,576 --> 00:26:18,620
- Oh, yeah.
- Could we?
530
00:26:18,661 --> 00:26:20,997
Sure. Meredith, do
you mind?
531
00:26:22,457 --> 00:26:23,833
Okay.
532
00:26:26,086 --> 00:26:27,420
One, two, three.
♪
533
00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:30,548
Let's do it again.
534
00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:32,050
Pam, your smile was weird.
535
00:26:32,092 --> 00:26:34,386
Its digital so, take as
many as you want.
536
00:26:34,427 --> 00:26:36,680
♪
537
00:26:36,721 --> 00:26:38,556
One, two, three.
(camera clicks)
538
00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:41,518
One, two, three.
(camera clicks)
539
00:26:41,559 --> 00:26:42,894
I don't know, I just,
540
00:26:42,936 --> 00:26:46,564
I really thought Jim was
going to propose tonight.
541
00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:51,528
- Hey, there.
- Hey.
542
00:26:51,569 --> 00:26:53,321
So, you missed
something really big?
543
00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:54,489
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
544
00:26:54,531 --> 00:26:56,282
Andy proposed to one
of your accountants.
545
00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:57,742
Oh, wow.
546
00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,661
I mean, that's as specific
as I can be on my first day.
547
00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:02,288
Well, I can see Andy
proposing to Angela.
548
00:27:02,330 --> 00:27:04,207
I can also see him
proposing to Oscar.
549
00:27:05,875 --> 00:27:07,752
So, you know
550
00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:12,173
somehow, after all those ribs,
I'm still really hungry.
551
00:27:12,966 --> 00:27:14,175
I was thinking of maybe going
552
00:27:14,217 --> 00:27:16,761
off campus somewhere
and getting some dessert.
553
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:19,431
Oh, well, you know what?
554
00:27:19,472 --> 00:27:21,599
You should go
to the Glider Diner.
555
00:27:22,225 --> 00:27:23,643
Ask Stanley about that.
556
00:27:23,685 --> 00:27:26,604
- Practically lives there.
- Okay.
557
00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:28,982
I'll go to the
diner with you.
558
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:30,817
That would be great.
559
00:27:31,526 --> 00:27:33,403
We can go eat pie.
560
00:27:33,445 --> 00:27:36,656
- I love pie.
- Me too.
561
00:27:37,741 --> 00:27:39,034
- Have a good night.
- Okay.
562
00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:40,160
Bye.
563
00:27:49,836 --> 00:27:51,880
Yeah, it was a good day.
564
00:27:51,921 --> 00:27:54,549
I mean, first days are
always the hardest, right?
565
00:27:55,008 --> 00:27:56,301
Well, I should go?
566
00:27:56,343 --> 00:27:58,094
I got to buckle him in.
567
00:28:02,182 --> 00:28:03,516
Well, this is it.
568
00:28:03,558 --> 00:28:05,518
I am here to see you off.
569
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,897
Thanks.
Really Michael?
570
00:28:08,938 --> 00:28:11,274
- Sorry, Corporate policy.
- It's not.
571
00:28:11,316 --> 00:28:12,609
You might take something.
572
00:28:12,650 --> 00:28:14,152
I don't think he's
going to take anything.
573
00:28:14,194 --> 00:28:15,904
Okay,
security guard.
574
00:28:18,156 --> 00:28:19,074
(watch beeping)
575
00:28:19,115 --> 00:28:21,117
- Some kind of alarm.
- Okay.
576
00:28:22,535 --> 00:28:26,623
Hi, Jan, it's Michael.
I just, um,
577
00:28:27,290 --> 00:28:28,667
I just want to let you know
578
00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:33,046
that I am going to go to your
Lamaze class tomorrow.
579
00:28:34,297 --> 00:28:38,301
And if there's any details you
need to fill me in on like,
580
00:28:39,344 --> 00:28:42,389
what exactly Lamaze is,
that would be great.
581
00:28:42,430 --> 00:28:45,600
And I will see you
tomorrow morning.
582
00:28:50,522 --> 00:28:54,901
I am going to be
kind of a Daddy.
583
00:29:01,991 --> 00:29:03,576
Party planning
is a real high.
584
00:29:03,618 --> 00:29:05,120
Like a runner's high.
585
00:29:08,331 --> 00:29:12,127
(crashing sound)
(moaning)
586
00:29:15,839 --> 00:29:18,717
(heavy breathing)
587
00:29:19,926 --> 00:29:23,179
(Gasp)
(thumping sound)
588
00:29:25,223 --> 00:29:27,350
(upbeat theme music)
41367
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