All language subtitles for The Office Superfan Episodes S04E09 Local Ad Extended Cut 1080p PCOK WEB-DL DD+5 1 H 264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

Yeah, everything!

No, it's all good. It's all good.

Phyllis!

Dancing babies!

Dancing babies.

I love it. I love it.

We are making a commercial

for Dunder Mifflin today.

Our first ad ever.

Corporate purchased some
airtime in local markets

to spread the word about
Dunder Mifflin Infinity,

and they are even sending
up a professional ad company

to help us make it later. So,

it's uh, not too shabby.

Best ad ever,

♪ Gimme a break, gimme a break ♪

♪ Break me off a piece of that ♪

(chuckling) I am totally blanking.

What is the thing?

Nobody tell him.

What? No, why?

You got it. You're so close.

♪ Break me off a piece of that ♪

(hums out the rest of melody)

♪ Break, ap-ple sauce. ♪

Break me off a piece
of that apple sauce,

I don't think that.

♪ - Piece of that
Chry-sler car. ♪

Nope.

♪ - Foot-ball cream
(makes frustrated sound) ♪

[Michael] Okay.

It's football cream.
It's football cream.

All right, so!

Anybody else? No bad ideas.

Everybody.

Let's keep them coming.

Oh God. Okay. Toby.

Well you know how everyone
fast-forwards

through ads ads these
days? Well what about an ad

in slow motion? You know, if
they fast forward through it,

it'll just seem normal and
and it'll catch your eye.

Plus, uh, the slogan
can be, 'Dunder Mifflin,

We adapt to the pace of your
business.'

[Phyllis] Yeah.
(group agreeing)

There are no bad ideas, but
for an idea,

that was really, really bad.

I spent three years in
advertising before I came here.

And that is probably why
most ads suck. Pam, yes?

I'm taking a computer
animation class

so I could try to do a logo.

Look at that.

Even the receptionist is
getting in on the creativity.

Very good! Very good.

I'm going to commit to this.

I'm going to work really
hard on my little,

five-second animation for
this paper company logo.

Same way Monet got his start.

He worked at a Waterlily factory.

[Kevin] Michael.

Oh, that's them.

Those are the ad guys
right there. All right.

My very fortunate and creative
group, go back to your desks

and I will let you know
when it is time to film.

(whispering) Pam! Pam,
come here for a second.

Did you get the memo
about dressing your best?

Yeah.

About dressing your best
today?

Yeah I distribute, so I get all
the memos.

Cool. Cool. I just want
to make sure you got it.

Yeah, I get all the memos.

Okay, good. Good.

Hello, hello.

Hey, how you doing?

Michael Scott, Regional Manager.

Hey, Michael.

Hi, Michael nice to meet you.

Excited to talk ideas.

Us too man.

You know what? I want
this to be cutting edge.

I want it to be fast,
quick cuts, you know,

youthful sort of um, MTV
on crack kind of thing.

That sounds great.

All right. Good.

Well, this is what we have to
work with.

Advertising is about big ideas.

If you want to sell a can of Coke,

you don't just show a can of
damn Coke.

You show, a baby, picking
flowers on the moon.

And then people are like,
'Whoa! I'm thirsty.'

You know? It's not rocket science.

This, is Pam Beasley
representing our girl-next-door.

Pretty, but nothing special.
You know, but she sort of

keeps it real.

What you might want to do,
is if you could zoom in

like really quick zooms on
her, that would be great.

And if you can't do that,

just lurch in with the camera.

Might be good.

I would like you to meet
Andrew Bernard, the NARD-dog.

Who let the NARD-dog out?

(woofs like a dog)

He gives the best back rubs in
the office.

That's true, I give a
mean back rub. Also do good

aroma therapy.

(blows raspberry and laughs)

You just got NARD-dogged!

Now, this gentleman right
here, is the key to our

urban vibe.

Urban?

I grew up in a small town, what
about me seems urban to you?

Stanley is hilarious.

Phyllis is like our Mrs. Butterworth,

kind of a less urban Aunt Jemima.

These are our accountants.

And as you can see, they
are very different sizes.

What you might want to do is
kind of a,

a Papa bear, Mama bear, Baby
bear thing.

That might be kind of fun.

[Kevin] Mama bear.

[Michael] Who else? Oh, Creed
is the old guy over there.

Don't look at him.

You might wanna, use him to sort of

get that Orville Redenbacher dynamic.

Sure.

Right.

And if not, we just make him disappear.

This is Jim Halpert. Jim
has a very expressive face.

Don't you, Jim?

He is like our Mr. Bean.

(Jim chuckles)

So do um, do sad. Do, the sad face.

I don't know, what?

That's skeptical. Do sad.

Mmm.

Thaat's pencil pirate.

That's annoyed.

Well, he doesn't do very
well under pressure.

No.

(Michael signs audibly)

And anybody else, we can
just hire an actor to replace.

Follow me.

Let's get this moving.

I think it's great that the
company is making commercial

because, not very many
people have heard of us.

I mean, when I tell people
that I work at Dunder Mifflin,

they think that we sell mufflers,

or muffins, or mittens or,

and frankly, all of those
sound better than paper, so,

I let it slide.

(upbeat theme song)

(keyboard noises)
(distant phones ringing)

Playing that game again?

Second Life is not a game.

It is a multi-user virtual environment.

It doesn't have points or scores.

It doesn't have winners or losers.

Oh, it has losers.

I signed up for Second
Life about a year ago.

Back then, my life was
so great that I literally

wanted a second one.

In my second life, I was
also a paper salesman

and I was also named Dwight.

Absolutely everything was
the same, except I could fly.

Dwight Schrute played paintball.
So played second Dwight.

Dwight Schrute milked a cow,
so milked second Dwight.

Dwight Schrute fell in love,

so fell second Dwight.

How things change.

Now I wouldn't wish my real life

on my worst second enemy.

Little girl in a
field, holding a flower.

We zoom back to find
the she's in the desert,

and the field is an oasis.
We zoom back further,

the desert is a sandbox in the
world's largest resort hotel.

Zoom back further. The hotel
is actually the playground,

the world's largest prison,
but we zoom back further.

Okay, I can, I can tell
that your time is valuable.

Actually, I don't get
paid by the hour anymore,

but thank you. I get paid by the
year, so.

That all sounds
really, really ambitious.

Yeah, I know.

Why don't we show you what we
did with the national branch.

Mmm.

Okay.

(lively music)

That's what we came up with?
That sucks.

(laughing) Wow.

That's what we came up with.

Well, we can do better than that.

Well the main part of the ad
has to stay the same, actually.

Yeah. It's the last
five seconds where we have

some leeway.

The waving?

Well, no, no, you
don't have to be waving.

That was just what they did.
You guys can be clapping.

Or sitting, standing
outside, inside, whatever,

and this is where you
really get to be creative.

(phone ringing)

Damn it!

I'm taking a computer
animation class, and,

I can draw right into the
program using this tablet,

but whenever I plug it
in the computer crashes.

It's like, the company knows I'm

doing something to expand myself.

Hello, McFly?

McFly.

Need your help on something.

A little bit of advice. Bro to bro.

(sighs) Break room.

So how's Moe's?

Enough small talk. What's the
advice?

All right.

I've been spending a
lot of time making out

with Angela lately.

We've been necking, but
only necking, right?

Not actually kissing,

our mouths, just a neck on neck.

It's just like rubbing slash
nuzzling our necks together.

It's hot, I'm not going to lie
to you,

but it's a little weird,

but you seem like a guy with answers.

So, how do I fast track
this? Get to first base?

We cannot talk about this

because

someone might hear us.

We'll use code names.

Angela can stay the same, but
we'll change Andy to Dwight.

That's not different enough.

Dwike?

(subtle computer noises)

What is the highest form
of art? Literature? Ballet?

No, impressions.

Because you are taking someone
creative, and you are adding

even more creativity by copying them.

You have a call from Eddie Murphy.

Hello?

Shrek! Shrek, I'm a
donkey! I'm a donkey, Shrek!

(Michael laughing)

I'm just kidding. It's me.

Hey-o Ry.

What?

Oh, okay. Calm down.

I just have a small problem.

I told her not to call
about small problems.

Yeah. Well, when I
call about big problems,

you don't like that either.
So, make up your mind kiddo.

Here is the deal.

The ad guys that you sent are
locking me in a creative box,

and sort of ignoring my ideas.

That's good. They're
creative. You're not.

You know what, here's
the thing about you.

You're so dry that
sometimes it's hard to tell

when you're kidding.

Here's how you tell,

I'm never kidding.

I'm creative, Ryan.

It's not part of your job.
It's like, maybe you can cook

but that doesn't mean you
should start a restaurant.

Well actually I can't cook
and I am starting a restaurant,

Mike's Cereal Shack.

I'm thinking, we'll have as many varieties

as you can buy in the store.

Okay, I'm not really
interested in that right now.

I'm delegating creativity
to creative professionals.

It's a different skillset.
Look, I wasn't good at sales.

Right?

Yeah!

But I'm good at managing
people who do sales.

Are you? I don't think you're
doing such a great job here,

suppressing ideas and creativity.

All right. Let me ask you this.

Tell me if you think this is creative.

When I was five,

I imagined that there was
such a thing as a unicorn.

And this is before I had even
heard of one or seen one.

I just, drew a picture of a horse

that could fly over rainbows,
and had a huge spike

in it's head. I was five.

Five years old.

Couldn't even talk yet.

Hey guys, um, you know what,
we can not shoot this ad today.

Okay. When should we come
back?

How about never a hundred
hours, sir?

Well, we were sent here to help

I'm not gonna argue with this guy.

Let's go. Good luck, dude.

Hey, thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Are you watching?

Yup.

(Pam laughs)

Wow! Beasley.

Watch it and reverse, his head reformed

like Humpty Dumpty.

And that's why computers
weren't meant to,

how long did it take you?

Half an hour.

Really?

That is true talent.

I mean, making Dwight's
head explode like that.

Shh. He'll hear you.

No, he's in a total trance.

Doesn't he always look like
that?

Watch this.

Hey Dwight, there's a
bear wrestling a cyborg

out in the parking lot.

Who is that?

Who's the bear or who's the
cyborg?

Yeah.

I stand corrected.

Yeah.

Hit it again.

When I was little,

I used to make up these fake
ads for my favorite dolls.

And later I thought about
going into advertising,

but that seemed kind of like
selling out.

And then, I don't know.

I just sort of blinked
and, six years went by and

I'm going to go work on my thing.

All right, I think you've had enough.

Whatever. This whole
world is fake anyway.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't go there.

Michael, David Wallace.
What is this about dismissing

the ad people?

Yeah. I'm glad you called.

Ryan is being a little bitch again.

[Ryan] I'm on Michael.

What's up, my brother?

Listen,

David, I would like to
do this ad in-house.

I want to use only the creativity
that we have right here

in the office and, I will send
it to you tomorrow morning.

Take a look at it.

If you do not think
that it's ready to air,

send the ad agency back down here

and we'll do it on my dime.

[David] This is weird.

I'm willing to stake my
entire reputation on it.

[David] Okay. I'll,

see it tomorrow.

Okay.

Okay.

And thus, Michael Scott
sealed his own destiny,

in a good way.

My favorite genre of ad would
probably be comedy because

there are a lot of very, very talented

writers and directors who
are working in the ad game.

And uh, I think within a
subcategory within that

would be the talking animals
sort of ad.

The frogs or the dogs,

or the,

duck.

I like that. I don't know why.

I just think that's funny.

Hey everybody, I just got off
the phone with David Wallace

and he has given us the
go-ahead to make the first-ever

Dunder Mifflin television commercial.

Huh?!

(applauding)

[Dwight] Yeah!

All right! Woo!

I can't hear you!

I heard you a little bit less
that time.

We'd already applauded.

Must be, okay. Okay.

Michael is on a mission
to prove that he's creative,

which I think is odd because
Michael actually might be the

most creative person I've ever known.

Every day, Michael says
and thinks things that

no one has ever said or thought before.

I am a creative person
and I can not have

corporate thinking that I'm not creative.

Sorry, Michael, you
can't host the Dundees.

We have Chevy Chase and
he is a professional.

As cool as that would be, no,

no.

I'd co-host with Chevy Chase.

Has anyone ever come up to you
and said,

'You're not creative'?

Yes.

Well, they're wrong.

You are creative.

You are damn creative.
Each and every one of you.

You are so much more creative
than all of the other dry,

boring morons that you work with.

Who are you talking to, specifically?

I kinda know what it's
like to be in commercials.

My nickname in high school
used to be Kool-Aid Man.

When I was younger,

I always want it to be
an actor in commercials.

Then I realized I had a brain.

This will not be my first
time in a television commercial.

When I was in high school,

I played a six-year-old,
in an electronic store ad.

It was humiliating.

I'm excited about doing the
ad, but,

I'm not really used to doing
videos with

so many people around.

We have three scenes
to film, big scenes.

We have a song to write.
So let's get cracking.

Kelly, I want you to do makeup.

Oscar, I would like you to
do costume design, obviously.

Meredith, I would like you to do catering.

Andy, special effects.

Angela, animal wrangler.

Creed, sound.

Kevin,

grip.

Who can do music?

How about Daryl?

He brought his keyboard
to the Christmas party

and he was really very good.

Okay. Okay. All right. All right.

We'll have Daryl do it.

Phyllis, I'd like you to look
around town

and see if we have any
celebrities in our local area.

Do you have an assignment for
me?

I do.

I would like you to sit at your desk,

because you are not a creative person.

Thank you, Michael.

All right. Well, let's
get this thing in the can,

as they say.

Part of me,

hopes Stacy will see this
commercial and come crawling back.

The other part of me,

just wishes that I hadn't
forgotten to pick her up

from the airport.

Oh, I've fallen for the ol'
'take off your clothes ploy

and be in this commercial'.

But not this time.

Not this time.

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me saying that I
don't care?

Good.

All right, so let's start.

All right.

I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to be doing, but.

You are my producer. You are a suit.

I am the creative genius.

You take care of all the boring
stuff and let my mind just

run free.

Yup.

Now, we have $85 and a Sam
Goody gift certificate,

Nice.

And we need to be done
by 9:00 AM tomorrow.

Mhmm.

Why don't you start by
telling me what you got?

We start

on a single blank sheet of paper.

Love it.

And we widen to reveal ancient Rome.

Can't do that.

Okay. We,

widen to reveal a spaceship

blasting out of a woman's womb.

Definitely can't do that.

(bleep), man!

You know what?!

This is (bleep)!

Okay. Scott,

why don't you take your
head out of the clouds

and come back down to planet earth

so we can make a commercial.

Ah!

I'm just doing my job, man.

If you don't let me
pursue my artistic vision,

I'm going to walk.

Good, fine. I've got one Andy Bernard

that will direct this
puppy for half your fee.

No, no. Jim, Jim. Don't,
don't, no.

What? What?

I can do it. I can do
it. I can do it good.

I can do it good.

Please, don't.

(mumbling) Please give me
another chance.

Okay.

Go make a commercial.

Do you want this open or
closed?

Closed.

(door closes)

The thing about being
a creative type is that,

you throw tantrums.

Who are the most creative
people on earth, besides me?

Three-year-olds.

(keyboard clicking)

Is this okay with me?

Yes.

Alright.

(gasping) Sue Grafton
is at the Steam Town Mall,

she's doing a book signing right now.

Okay. Okay. Phyllis, this
is what I want you to do.

I want you to go down to the mall.

I want you to get in line.

I want you to get her to
be in this commercial.

This would be a huge
coup, people. All right.

Do not take no for an answer!

Okay.

Does anyone actually know
what Sue Grafton looks like?

I mean is she hot or?

She's crazy hot.

Well then maybe we
should just use Angela

and say she Sue Grafton.
Would anyone notice?

That's not happening.

I find the mystery genre disgusting.

I hate being titillated.

Bye everyone.

Light it up, Phyllis!

[Creed] Get her, Phyl.

* Out of paper, out of stock ♪

♪ There's friendly
faces around the block ♪

♪ Break loose from the chains ♪

♪ That are causing your pain ♪

♪ Call Michael and Stanley, ♪

♪ Jim, Dwight, Creed ♪

♪ Call Andy and Kelly ♪

♪ For your business
paper needs ♪

♪ Dunder Mifflin ♪

♪ The people person's paper
people ♪

♪ Dunder Mifflin ♪

♪ The people person's paper
people ♪

Timeout, timeout, timeout,
timeout, timeout, timeout.

I thought. I was under
the impression that this

was going to be a rap.

What's rap?

(blows raspberry) Okay. Daryl. Wow.

You need to learn a lot
about your own culture.

I'll make you a mix.

Great

News flash.

I got some juicy updates
on operation Fallen Angel.

Remind me to tell you later.

Hey.

No talk. I'm animating.

Why don't we take a quick
ten second break from that,

so can show you what's going on here.

Okay. This is Dwight's Second Life.

He's on it all the time.

So much so, that his little guy here

has created his own world.

It's called Second Second Life,

for those people who want
to be removed even further

from reality.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Oh my God. He's really in pain.

Who's that?

Oh, that's just my avatar guy. Whatever.

He looks a lot like you.

How much time did you spend on
that?

Not much.

It's just for, tracking Dwight so.

Right.

You're a sports writer in
Philadelphia?

Nice build, too.

Yep.

You have a guitar, slung on
your back.

I did not know you played guitar.

I, why don't we go back to the

the animation.

No, no, no! I want to
see more of Philly Jim.

Show me how this,

Na! Show me how this works.

Oh, boy.

(piano riff)

♪ Out of paper ♪

♪ Out of stock ♪

♪ There's friendly
faces around the block ♪

♪ Break loose from the chains
that are causing you pain ♪

♪ Call Michael, Stanley,
Jim, Dwight, and Creed ♪

♪ Call Indian Kelly for
your business paper needs ♪

♪ Call Dunder Mifflin ♪

♪ People person's paper people ♪

♪ Dunder Mifflin ♪

♪ People person's paper people ♪

Stop, stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop,

(hitting piano keys)
stop, stop, stop, stop.

This is not me. This is
not, it's not my music.

You're right. It's better than you.

It's us.

♪ Dunder Mifflin ♪

♪ People person's paper people ♪

No, no, no, I hate it! I hate it.

I don't hate it. I just
don't like it, at all.

And it's terrible.

You're on your own, Mike.

Okay. You know what? Um.

Hold on. Hold on, Daryl.

You just said you hate it.

No. I said I,

You said you hate it.

I said I I I hate the style.

♪ Break me off a piece
of that lumber tar. ♪

♪ Snickers bar. ♪

Oh, okay (claps).

Wow. Wow.

This looks uh, terrible.

That's supposed to be a
finish line, that looks like

tape on black top.

I wanted photographers all
around here.

I don't see anybody with cameras.

I want a break.

No, no. Just the opposite.

The sun is going down
and we have no extras.

We need atmosphere here
and we don't have any.

Remember that woman who was kind
of weird,

had the curly hair, used
to be hanging around?

Who?

Does anybody have any
idea what I'm talking about?

* Break me off a that
piece of that grey poupon ♪

Andy, Andy, shut it!

This is a pivotal scene of the ad.

Let's focus here.

This is important.

I wanted to see bleachers
against this wall and a track!

A running, we should have
shot it at a running track.

This is a very important part of
our ad.

And if we don't get this,
if we don't nail it,

we're going to lose the
whole triumph of the moment.

The triumph of the will.

Now, God. What, what Phyllis?

(sad) Well, I got it in line
to buy Sue Grafton's book and

when it came to my turn I
asked her if she wanted to be

in the ad and she said, no,
thank you.

But I wasn't supposed to
take no for an answer.

That'ta girl.

So I kept on asking and
they finally threw me out of

the store in front of all my friends.

(sniffles)

Did you, or did you not get
Sue Grafton?

(Phyllis whimpering)

No.

Oh. You're a.

Can somebody give her a tissue, please?

Creative people have to face obstacles.

Do you know how long
it took Martin Scorsese

to shoot The Godfather?

Neither do I, but

(elevator dings)

it got done.

So.

You ready for dinner?

Oh, I can't go. I'm not done yet.

I hope you're not
killing yourself on this

because I'm sure it's good
enough for Michael's ad,

that will probably be seen by no one.

Maybe, but, it's not
good enough for me yet.

Okay.

Do you want me to stay?

No, no. You can go home.

I'm good.

Really? 'Cause I feel a little weird

leaving you with these
particular people.

I have headphones.

Aw, and you think
that's enough. Alright.

[Pam And Jim] Goodnight.

Everyone has to start
somewhere, right?

I mean maybe designing an
animated logo for a TV commercial

that will never see the
light of day will rocket me

to stardom. Stranger things have happened.

Somewhere, right?

Somewhere where that's happened?

Pam is staying late tonight
to uh, achieve her dreams.

So I'm pretty proud of her.

Unfortunately, she was my ride home.

You coming?

I, uh.

Piss or get off the pot.

The seatbelt's no good.

Late night?

(phone rings)

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

(phone ringing)

Dunder Miflin, this is Pam.

Good morning.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

I looked away for a
second and Creed snatched

your hash browns.

Thank you.

[Jim] You're welcome.

I worked until about 2:45 AM.

And then I had to decide if
I wanted to spend the night

with Michael, editing in
his office and Dwight,

watching Michael edit in his office,

or drive home and probably
fall asleep at the wheel

and die in a fiery car wreck.

I passed out on my
keyboard trying to decide.

(Second Second Life game noises)

Hey, where did you get that?

Aaah!

(explosion)

Hey, not fair!

Aah!

Life's not fair.

Let me pour you some bubbly

because somebody got to a
whole new level last night.

Andy, I can't hear this right now.

No, no, no, no.

This is good.

You know how we haven't
really gotten anywhere

that I want to get to physically
yet?

Well last night, that changed.

We're making out,

I'm kissing her neck and
her cheek and her earlobe.

And she's not really kissing me back,

but she closes her eyes and
she's like,

'Oh, D,'

'Oh, D'.

She called you, 'D'?

Yeah.

'D' for 'Andy'.

Oh,

D.

Oh, D.

Oh,

D.

Oh, D.

[Dwight and Andy] Oh, D.

(laughing)

[Dwight and Andy] Oh, D.

I'm about to send the ad
to corporate. And it is sent.

They'll probably watch it right away.

I, I would.

Okay.

(dialing, line ringing)

Yes?

Pam, please clear my phone lines.

Certainly.

Beep boop, beep beep boop,
beep, beep beep, beep, beep.

Okay, clear.

The could call any second now.

Oh, god.

I better call.

Well, it's been tough.

The uh, geniuses at corporate
rejected my commercial

and tonight they are airing
the brain-dead version.

So, welcome one and all,
to the world premier

of Corporate Crap Fest.

(lively music)

(applause and cheering)

Hey, seemed like a big hit.

No, people are stupid.
People like waving,

waving cells, not art.

The ad we made, our ad, the real
one, was,

full of humor and full of depth

and full of heart.

And it was real.

Hey, could do me a
favor? Could you put that

in the DVD player?

Hey, everybody. I just want
to welcome you all to the

premier of the real
Dunder Mifflin commercial,

the Michael Scott Director's
Cut.

I hope you like it.

('Chariots of Fire' playing)

It all starts with an idea.

But you can never tell
where an idea will end up.

Because ideas spread, they change,

grow.

They connect us with the world.

And in a fast-moving world,

where good news moves
at the speed of time,

and bad news,

isn't always what it seems.

Because, when push comes to shove,

we all deserve a second chance,

to score.

Dunder Mifflin.

Limitless paper in a paperless world.

Oh!

(applauding)

Animation? All her, by the way.

Really?

Yeah just thought she

The animation was cool.

Thanks.

Listen you ever been on a
motorcycle?

Naw.

Michael, that was fun.

That was fun.

Next round of drinks is on me,
people!

(everyone cheers)

There was a series of advertisements

about a group of guys who would
call each other all the time

and they would bond
over football and beer.

And, it was funny, but it
was also really charming.

And there was one key word
they'd always say, 'Wazzup',

to each other and, and we
followed them.

And this was through a number
of months, maybe years.

And you know, you, I think,

I think the hardest part is you
start to kind of get to know

these characters and then
they just pull the plug.

And, I don't know why.
I don't know why, um.

That was one of my faves.

♪ Claude Van Damme ♪

♪ Hair for men ♪

♪ Poison gas ♪

♪ Nutra sweet ♪

It's got a rhyme with peace.

Fancy feast!

♪ Break me off a piece
of that fancy feast! ♪

It's a cat food.

Nailed it.

(door opening sounds)

What the? Someone put
my bazooka in jello.

(upbeat music)