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1
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,552
Hello, son.
2
00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:11,803
If you're watching this,
3
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,139
that means
I'm already dead.
4
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,849
Life is a road...
5
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,976
How do you know
it's gonna be a boy? How--
6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,269
Would you stop interrupting, please?
7
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,980
Yesterday,
I was scraping some gunk
8
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,190
off my wall sockets
with a metal fork,
9
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:27,527
and I gave myself
the nastiest shock.
10
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:29,487
And when I came to,
11
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,156
I had an "epiphery."
12
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,493
Life is precious.
13
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,495
And if I die,
14
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:41,332
I want my... son...
15
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,712
to know the dealio.
16
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,380
The dealio of life.
17
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,549
Here are some things
that I want to teach you
18
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,009
that your mother
won't be able to.
19
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,928
To jump-start a car,
first pop the hood.
20
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,181
Then you take these bad boys
21
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:59,559
and clip them
anywhere on the engine.
22
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:02,520
Then, you take these,
23
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,440
and clip them wherever.
24
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,860
Number eight.
25
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,362
Learn how to take off
a woman's bra.
26
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,280
What?
We will demonstrate on Pam.
27
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,323
No.
And--
28
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,449
No.
Come on.
29
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,368
You just
twist your hand,
30
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:17,911
until...
31
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,372
something breaks.
32
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,456
Ow.
33
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,832
Well, you get the picture.
34
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,292
Thanks, Pam.
35
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,545
And remember,
no matter what,
36
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,880
I will always love you.
37
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,674
What if he's a murderer?
38
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,175
He's not gonna be
a murderer.
39
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,219
Maybe that's
how you die. You know what?
40
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,138
Dwight,
do you want to do this or no?
41
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,599
I want to do this. Okay.
42
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,559
From the top.
Ready?
43
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,894
3...
Action.
44
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,605
[cheerful music]
45
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:48,817
♪ ♪
46
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,458
Hello, everyone.
47
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,002
As you know,
48
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,004
we are six days away
49
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,588
from Phyllis's wedding.
50
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,090
[scattered applause]
51
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,842
{\an8}So get your suits
to the dry cleaners,
52
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:14,926
{\an8}and get your hair did.
53
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,469
{\an8}And Karen, um...
54
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,388
{\an8}you might want to invest
in a--a dress
55
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,098
{\an8}or a skirt
of some kind
56
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,808
{\an8}if you don't already
have one.
57
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,435
{\an8}This may be Phyllis's
58
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,644
{\an8}only wedding ever.
59
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,271
{\an8}It's my job to ensure
60
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,605
{\an8}that none of you
look like ragamuffins.
61
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:31,609
{\an8}So... I am instituting
62
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,486
{\an8}primae noctis.
63
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,405
{\an8}Primae noctis,
64
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,657
{\an8}I believe
from the movie Braveheart,
65
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,951
{\an8}and confirmed on Wikipedia,
66
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:44,414
{\an8}is when the king
got to deflower every new bride
67
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,041
{\an8}on her wedding night.
68
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,127
{\an8}So...
69
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,504
I'm sorry. I...
70
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,340
had a very different understanding
71
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,300
as to what primae noctis meant.
72
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:59,387
And, um, I would never, ever
want to do that.
73
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,474
I mean--for the women
to have to do.
74
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,976
That's...
[inhales]
75
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:10,148
So let us
take a moment of silence
76
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,859
for the women of Braveheart.
77
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,697
For the brave women.
78
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,783
It couldn't have been fun.
79
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,078
I'm trying to get everyone
excited about Phyllis's wedding,
80
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:24,496
because I want her
81
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,664
to get people excited
about my wedding,
82
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:27,999
when the time comes.
83
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,125
Which won't be hard.
84
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,543
Because it's gonna be awesome.
85
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,212
A lot better than hers,
that's for sure.
86
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,047
It'll probably be on a boat.
87
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:37,050
♪ Here's come the bride,
Phyllis is the bride ♪
88
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:39,928
♪ These girls are not,
they have no men ♪
89
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:43,223
♪ And many more *
What's up, spinstas?
90
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:44,349
Nothing.
91
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,684
You know, this
is a luncheon shower.
92
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,268
Girls only.
93
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,812
No problem.
94
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:49,896
The guys are having
95
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,731
a little shindig
of their own
96
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,066
in the warehouse.
97
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,193
From 2:30 to 3:15.
98
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,737
It is the only time
that Bob was available.
99
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,197
Sort of a guys' night out.
100
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,324
A G-N-O, if you will.
101
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,534
A g-no.
102
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,328
Actually, it's more
of a guys' afternoon in.
103
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,830
A G-A-I.
104
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:07,872
A gai.
105
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,874
Not...
106
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,002
Not... it's, uh...
not gay.
107
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,212
It's a, just a...
108
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,548
It's a bridal shower
for guys.
109
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,299
A guy shower.
110
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,510
An hour-long shower
with guys.
111
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,431
Shut up.
Not gai.
112
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:25,557
So...
113
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,684
This must be incredibly painful
for you.
114
00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,394
Not really.
Mm?
115
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,564
Well, if it is,
I am a good listener.
116
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,941
And, um,
117
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,651
we could grab a couple pints
at B&J,
118
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,361
curl up, you know.
119
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,155
No, that--that sounds good.
120
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:42,699
But I'm fine, fortunately.
121
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,576
All right, well,
I am a resource, Pam, so...
122
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,618
Yeah, I know.
123
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,207
[Jim yawns]
124
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,876
(Karen)
I guess Jim and I
125
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,794
have had a little bit
of a rough patch
126
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,588
for the past couple weeks,
127
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,548
but we had
some really good talks.
128
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,008
And actually,
129
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,427
now I think
that we're better than ever.
130
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:07,932
Karen and I
had a long... talk last night.
131
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,893
And the night before that.
132
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,686
And, uh...
133
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,146
Every night...
134
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:17,150
for the last five nights.
135
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,457
(Pam)
Something's up with Jim and Karen.
136
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,459
Not that I've been eavesdropping.
137
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,503
It's not really
any of my business.
138
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:39,130
But...
I've gotten pretty good
139
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,633
at reading
the back of Jim's neck.
140
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,510
Halpert!
141
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:46,304
Tall, queer,
handsome as ever.
142
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,806
[lisping]
"Hey, everybody, it's me.
143
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,475
Jim."
144
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,644
Hello, hello.
145
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,187
Todd Packer.
146
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,563
Karen Filipelli.
147
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,564
Jim's girlfriend.
148
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,774
Shut up!
149
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,025
Yep.
Shut it!
150
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,819
That's rude.
151
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,153
Either this chick
is a dude,
152
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,447
or Halpert
got scared straight!
153
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,740
(Michael)
Yes, yes.
154
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:06,991
Oh ho!
Yes.
155
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,159
Oh ho ho ho ho.
156
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,869
There--uh!
[groans]
157
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:10,995
What happened?
158
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,288
[Michael gasping]
159
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,040
(Packer)
Quick, somebody help!
160
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,876
Help the man!
Ow, no, no!
161
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,004
(Michael)
I can't believe you're not going to be there.
162
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,296
It's gonna be good.
163
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,799
It's gonna be
a great bachelor party, man.
164
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,843
(Packer)
I have a full day of sales calls.
165
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:25,802
You should get out of them.
166
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,053
I can't.
167
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:30,098
It's--it's the only time
he can do it.
168
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,850
2:30 to 3:15.
169
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,518
It's gonna be great.
170
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,769
We're going to be doing
some darts,
171
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,896
we're gonna be, uh,
grilling up some steaks.
172
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,190
I got some pie...
173
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,693
Going to be
very delicious...
174
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,320
And what kind of stripper
did you get?
175
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:47,824
I did not order
a stripper.
176
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,409
Whaddaya mean,
you didn't order a stripper?
177
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,327
Have you ever even been
to a bachelor party?
178
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:52,871
[scoffing]
Yeah.
179
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,664
[both laughing]
180
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,291
Um...
181
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,876
[hemming and hawing]
182
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,419
Not personally, no.
183
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,379
All right, Mike.
Okay?
184
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,548
A stripper
is Bachelor Party 101.
185
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,175
I know, I--
If you don't get a stripper,
186
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,426
your party
is gonna suck.
187
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,261
I can't get a stripper here.
188
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,596
Sexual harassment.
189
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,014
[sighs]
190
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,932
I just--
Get one for the girls, too.
191
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,059
That evens it out.
192
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,353
You know,
separate but equal.
193
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:18,104
So that's what that means.
194
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,693
Hey, would it be weird for you
195
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:26,404
if I sat you with Jim and Karen
at my wedding?
196
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,032
Um, I don't think so.
197
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,325
Good.
198
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,035
I don't want anymore drama
at my wedding.
199
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:34,412
I already have baby mama drama.
200
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,624
Bob's other family's coming in
from Ho Chi Minh City.
201
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,711
No drama here. Okay.
202
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,716
Okay, everybody.
Slight change of plans.
203
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,094
We are still going to be
having two parties,
204
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,512
but each is going to get
205
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,430
a little extra dose
of naugh-tay.
206
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,306
Unh!
207
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,766
[laughing]
All right!
208
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,810
Unh!
Gay...
209
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,186
Michael?
Yes?
210
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:01,022
I don't think we can do that,
whatever that is.
211
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,774
Yes, we can,
if the girls do it too.
212
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,401
The girls are just having
a shower.
213
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,443
It's really different.
214
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,529
You always side with her,
don't you?
215
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,738
No, I don't.
216
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,199
Look, Toby, why don't you
just go home today?
217
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,867
Take the afternoon off.
See you tomorrow.
218
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,620
I can't just go.
Yes, you can.
219
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,122
No.
220
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,832
Yes.
221
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,085
All right, I'll go.
All right.
222
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,420
All right, all right.
[mumbles]
223
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:26,673
[both mumbling]
224
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,217
I have to make it look like
I tried.
225
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,177
Right?
226
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,806
Nice afternoon. Cool.
227
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,976
Okay, co-ed naked strippers
in this office.
228
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,185
For realsies.
229
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,645
Under no circumstance
should a man
230
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,856
strip off his clothes
in this office.
231
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,816
Shut up, Angela!
232
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,197
(Pam)
Hey.
233
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,199
Hey.
234
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,828
Uh...
235
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,163
Uh...
236
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,831
Everything okay?
237
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,166
Oh, yeah.
238
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,500
Why?
239
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,170
Well, you seem
a little tired.
240
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,339
Oh.
241
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,299
Yeah, well...
242
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,843
I guess there's been
a couple of late nights.
243
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,055
Karen and I
have been up talking.
244
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,432
[Jim exhales]
245
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,641
You should get more sleep.
246
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,352
Yeah.
247
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,811
I know I should.
248
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,230
Never underestimate the power
of a good night's sleep.
249
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,024
No, I'm sure you're right.
250
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,693
When I get eight hours,
compared to, like, six hours...
251
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,029
it's like,
big difference!
252
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,155
Really?
253
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:33,990
Oh, yeah.
254
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,201
Gotta get your REM cycle.
255
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,411
Going with the whole...
256
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,872
sleeping...
257
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,833
better than not.
258
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,502
Good advice, Beesly.
259
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,170
Thanks.
See you out there?
260
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,547
Yeah.
261
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,758
Don't fall asleep
at your desk.
262
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,010
[under breath]
Oh, my God.
263
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,720
Okay.
We are off.
264
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,682
Ryan and I are going to go
get some supplies.
265
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:02,519
And I need you
to handle...
266
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,229
[quietly]
hiring the strippers.
267
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,563
[whispering]
Absolutely not.
268
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,690
[whispering]
I'm on it.
269
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,109
Well, get on it,
and make it happen.
270
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,403
And money's no object.
271
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,947
But if it's over $100,
let me know.
272
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:19,494
It will be over $100.
273
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,746
Not where I'm looking.
274
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,082
Yikes.
275
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,167
Independent chemical operation?
276
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:28,461
[laughs]
That's a chemical stripper.
277
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,549
Angela, could you please change
278
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,676
this 20 for some ones
from petty cash?
279
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,220
Sure.
280
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,139
What do you need
so many ones for?
281
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,223
The stripper.
282
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,975
[sighs]
283
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:44,102
[grumbles]
284
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,937
Petty cash...
[mumbles]
285
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,856
PCTD.
PCTD.
286
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,274
He is so disgust--
287
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,317
I'm not giving you any ones.
288
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,319
Damn it.
289
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,405
Ruddy cheeks,
thick calves,
290
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:57,323
no tats, no moles.
291
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,117
No tats.
292
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,952
No, tats.
293
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,454
Of course I want--
(Jim) Stop.
294
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,830
That's disgusting.
Leave me alone
295
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,457
and get the male stripper. Fine.
296
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,125
I knew you would, Nancy.
297
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,251
Sally.
298
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,337
Uh... no preference.
299
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,464
Uh, what do you think,
a redhead or brunette?
300
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,592
Blonde.
301
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,385
Nice.
302
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,430
Do you have
any blonde women?
303
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,308
Hmm.
304
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,436
[Michael giggling]
305
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,146
He hasn't even
said a word yet.
306
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,606
Just giggling.
307
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:36,112
Gotcha.
[chortling]
308
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:41,576
[cell phone playing
Chamillionaire's Ridin']
309
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,536
Yes?
[Jim on phone] You okay?
310
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,330
I'm in the--
I'm in the sex shop.
311
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,456
(Jim)
Ah, gotcha.
312
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:48,541
[Michael snickering]
313
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,876
Okay, so they have
Albert Einstein,
314
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,878
Ben Franklin,
or SpongeBob SquarePants.
315
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,338
SquarePants?
316
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,298
Yep, SpongeBob SquarePants.
317
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,342
And you think
that'd be sexy?
318
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,677
Michael referred me
319
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:02,430
to a male strip club
called Banana Slings.
320
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,432
Instead, I called
321
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,351
the Scholastic Speakers
of Pennsylvania.
322
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,727
Ooh, ha ha!
323
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,229
(man)
Hold the door, please!
324
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,522
Oh.
Thank you.
325
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,065
Ho ho. Hello.
326
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,400
Hello.
327
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,318
You wearing a thong?
328
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,528
What?
329
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,571
[laughing]
330
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,868
Sparkling cider
is very good.
331
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,246
I think that's champagne.
332
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,415
Hello, ladies.
333
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,834
Who here
is a history buff?
334
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,585
Um...
335
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,421
Who's a fan
of buff naked?
336
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,755
[giggling]
337
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:39,092
Without further ado,
the one,
338
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:41,011
the only...
339
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:44,472
the sexy
Mr. Benjamin Franklin.
340
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:47,017
Thank you for that introduction,
Mr. Scott.
341
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:50,186
And good afternoon,
fine gentlewomen
342
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,439
of Dunder-Mifflin.
343
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,648
(Michael)
Huh?
344
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,067
Half pants, right,
Mr. Franklin?
345
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,819
Knickers, in fact, yes.
346
00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,070
He's in his knickers.
347
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,072
Mr. Franklin.
348
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,407
Hmm?
I would say
349
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:05,535
you were probably one of
the sexiest presidents ever.
350
00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:08,621
Well, actually,
I never was president.
351
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,082
Yes, but Ben Franklin was.
352
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,002
Ah.
353
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,546
I am here to teach you
a little bit
354
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,673
about my life.
355
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,467
And the era
of the Founding Fathers.
356
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,760
[suggestive grunt]
357
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,347
And when they came over
on the Mayflower.
358
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,974
Bow-chicka-bow.
359
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,851
(Meredith)
Wait.
360
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,227
This is the entertainment?
361
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,645
Yeah.
All right.
362
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:35,648
So I want you to give him
your undivided attention,
363
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,733
and Mr. Franklin...
Hmm?
364
00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:39,110
If any of these ladies misbehave,
365
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,113
I give you permission
to spank them.
366
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,782
Especially that one.
367
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,704
Have you ever
seen a stripper before?
368
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,164
[scoffing]
Yes.
369
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,291
Jennifer Garner
portrayed one on Alias.
370
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,043
It was one
of her many aliases.
371
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:55,960
Yeah.
372
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,337
Me neither. Hey.
373
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:58,797
Hi.
I'm Elizabeth.
374
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,507
I'm the dancer
that was requested.
375
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,634
Okay. Ha.
376
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:06,054
I specifically ordered
a stripper.
377
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,180
I'm the stripper.
378
00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:08,682
Oh.
Okay, good.
379
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,267
Well, in future, please
identify yourself as such.
380
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,019
Oh, God. Okay...
381
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,896
"Is she hot?"
382
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,153
Text back,
"Kind of."
383
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,366
And Jan said it was okay
to have a stripper in here?
384
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,576
Hello, miss.
How are you?
385
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,661
Pleasure to meet you.
I'm Darryl.
386
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:30,704
Nice to meet you.
387
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,622
It is not up to Jan.
It is up to me.
388
00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:34,207
Actually, it's up to Toby.
Well--
389
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,834
And Michael told Toby
that he should go home.
390
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,545
The redhead guy
with the sad eyes?
391
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,546
I like him.
He's cool.
392
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,922
Yeah, ugh, okay.
From HR.
393
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,049
Well, what I need you to do
is make sure that you can
394
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:45,385
turn this warehouse
into a sexy venue
395
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:46,803
in less than 30 minutes.
396
00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:47,971
Promise me you can do that.
397
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,222
I'll try.
398
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,890
Promise me?
399
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:55,270
I only promise things
to my three-year-old daughter.
400
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,730
Okay.
Okay.
401
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,232
Yep, all right,
let's get out of here.
402
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:04,487
It was a warm June evening
in 1752,
403
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,406
the night of my fateful
kite flight.
404
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:07,490
Mr. Franklin.
Yes?
405
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:09,034
Do you have a girlfriend?
406
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,286
I have a lovely wife. Deborah.
407
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,830
But don't you also
have girlfriends in Paris?
408
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:15,123
(Karen)
Mm.
409
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,374
(Pam)
Like, a lot of them?
410
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,625
Ah, well, that
411
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,211
is a gray area
of my life.
412
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,921
Okay? So.
413
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:25,133
It was a warm June evening...
414
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:26,426
Look at that.
415
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:30,638
Nothing like grilling
in the great outdoors.
416
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,308
Is this the same grill
you grilled your foot on?
417
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,601
No.
418
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,019
Yes.
419
00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:37,937
Oh, gross.
But I got all the foot off of it.
420
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,523
Mm--
Okay, Ben Franklin.
421
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,734
Ah--aha!
422
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:46,237
Oh, Ben Franklin
tied a cherry stem in his mouth!
423
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,365
Well, that is because
I am a Renaissance man.
424
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,741
Ben Franklin?
425
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,493
Hmm?
Do you wear boxers,
426
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:52,744
briefs, or pantaloons?
427
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,204
[chuckling]
428
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,372
Well.
429
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,332
You're very saucy.
430
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,209
[chuckles]
431
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,169
[both laughing]
432
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:05,507
I think Ben Franklin has
a little bit of a crush on me.
433
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:08,134
Maybe he'll take me to Paris.
434
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,136
Guys! Beef!
435
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,430
[silly voice]
It's what's for dinner.
436
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,432
Who wants some man meat?
437
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,725
I do.
I want some man meat.
438
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,185
Michael,
439
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,853
Dwight would like
your man meat.
440
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,855
Well, then,
my man meat he shall have.
441
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:23,149
There you go.
442
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,402
[robot voice]
Deliciousity.
443
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:26,611
Of course.
444
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,488
(Michael)
There we go.
445
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:31,533
So I guess you have
the Ben Franklin wig,
446
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,034
and the costume,
and you figure,
447
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,994
"How could I put this
to practical use?"
448
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,246
Well, I like to think
that his dad
449
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,248
was a Ben Franklin impersonator.
450
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:41,084
And he really
pressured him into it.
451
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:42,669
[laughing]
452
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:45,005
Hey, um,
I wanted to talk to you.
453
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,173
I-I know this is weird
or whatever,
454
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,425
but, um...
455
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,636
Jim told me
about you guys.
456
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,887
What do you mean?
457
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,223
Well, that you kissed.
458
00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:57,934
And we've talked it through,
and it's totally fine.
459
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,269
It's not a big deal.
460
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,187
It was just a kiss.
461
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,525
Wait, you're not still
interested in him?
462
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,193
Oh, yeah.
463
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,405
Really.
464
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,032
Oh, no.
465
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,908
I'm--I was confused
by your phrasing.
466
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,077
You should definitely
go out with Jim.
467
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,704
I mean,
you're going out with Jim.
468
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:18,955
I'm not going out
with Jim.
469
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,415
[nervous chuckle]
You're dating him.
470
00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:21,624
Which is awesome,
471
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,044
because you guys
are great together.
472
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:24,878
'Kay.
473
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,172
I'm not into Jim.
474
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,341
Yeah.
475
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,718
So, um... we're good.
476
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,387
Yeah.
477
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,348
Sorry.
478
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,849
What are you sorry about?
479
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,185
Um...
480
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,061
What?
481
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,396
What are you sorry about?
482
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:44,522
Nothing.
483
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,941
I was just thinking
of something else.
484
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:50,403
Okay, the game is no-limit,
deuce to 7 lowball.
485
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:52,197
Blinds 25-50.
486
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,074
Nickels are worth 10,
dimes 25,
487
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,408
and quarters 50.
488
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,534
Nothing wild.
489
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,244
Michael shuffle!
490
00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,913
Here we go.
491
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,168
(Kevin)
Michael...
492
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:09,255
Ah.
Gentlemen...
493
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,091
The entertainment
is here.
494
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,802
Everybody, I'd like to
introduce you to Elizabeth.
495
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,053
Hi, guys.
496
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,429
[Michael chuckling]
Nice outfit.
497
00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:19,724
I hear there's
an important meeting here.
498
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,852
Mm, I think you're here
to strip.
499
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:25,146
That's--that's part
of my thing.
500
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,773
I--okay, I know. Yeah.
501
00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:31,736
I bought my fiancée Stacy a
stripper pole for her birthday.
502
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,989
It is so cool.
503
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,535
But I don't know
how to install it.
504
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:39,911
This is pointless.
505
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,579
If I wanna see a white woman
take her clothes off,
506
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:45,000
I'll pour my wife a Kahlúa
and put on a Barry White album.
507
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,377
I'm not really into strippers.
508
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,295
And--you know
what I find sexy?
509
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:50,964
Pam's art.
510
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,132
She's an artist.
511
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:55,301
And I appreciate that.
512
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,970
It's very moving.
513
00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,639
And... sexy.
514
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:01,641
The art.
515
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,226
Hit it.
516
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:05,937
[Bad Company's
Feel Like Makin' Love plays]
517
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,647
[Michael laughs]
518
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:08,982
So where's the groom?
519
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:10,692
Oh.
He is right there.
520
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,444
There he is.
521
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,361
Absolutely not.
522
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,738
[clears throat]
That's all you.
523
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,948
It's all you.
524
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:17,991
Okay.
525
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,534
All right, I'll do it.
526
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,536
Yeah, let's do it.
527
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,495
Let's do this thing.
528
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:23,913
Yeah?
529
00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:25,665
What do I...
Just sit on down.
530
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:27,334
All right.
All right.
531
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,710
Okay.
And here we go.
532
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:30,545
Oh, here we go.
All right.
533
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,339
Yes.
Whoo!
534
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,841
(Michael)
Not bad, not bad.
535
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,760
You smell nice.
Like Tide.
536
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,595
Mm, what's that?
537
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,514
You smell like
Tide detergent.
538
00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:43,725
[loudly over the music]
Do you use Tide detergent?
539
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,769
♪ Feel like makin' love *
Shh.
540
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:46,936
Ha ha!
541
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,772
Whoo!
542
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:50,565
I have a girlfriend, so...
543
00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:54,069
I bet she'd be jealous.
544
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,695
(Michael)
Yeah, she'd probably...
545
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:56,738
Yes, she would be.
546
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,031
You know what?
Okay. Excuse me.
547
00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:00,200
This--please.
Stop it, stop it.
548
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,451
Turn off the music.
This is wrong.
549
00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:02,535
[music stops]
This is wrong!
550
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:03,536
This is wrong.
551
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:07,540
I have a girlfriend.
552
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,292
Uh-uh.
553
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,044
And you are engaged,
and I'm sure you have
554
00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:13,004
a boyfriend
in prison or something,
555
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,381
so...
556
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,508
Let's just clear out, okay?
557
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,467
Shame on you.
558
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,471
Go back to work!
559
00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:34,192
What can I do?
560
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,153
Haven't you done enough?
561
00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:38,780
I thought she would please you.
562
00:20:38,822 --> 00:20:41,783
She did... please me.
563
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:43,618
That's the problem.
564
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:49,207
I cheated on my girlfriend,
565
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,960
and I am a horrible person.
566
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,421
Did you... in your pants?
567
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,259
No, I didn't... in my pants.
568
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,097
But I could've.
569
00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:12,188
I could have.
570
00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:16,109
Elizabeth, I want you
to sit here.
571
00:21:16,151 --> 00:21:17,444
When the phone rings,
answer it.
572
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:20,113
You want me
to answer phones
573
00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:22,157
with my clothes on?
574
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:23,950
We hired you
for three hours' work.
575
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,326
And we're gonna get it.
576
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,542
Ooh, I love your poster.
577
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,378
Thank you.
578
00:21:40,675 --> 00:21:43,803
[mouthing silently]
579
00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:48,141
You know,
I invented electricity.
580
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:49,642
I know.
581
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:50,560
Well, I'm sensing
582
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:53,438
a little electricity
right here.
583
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,523
Didn't Ben Franklin
have syphilis?
584
00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:56,691
[short laugh]
585
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:59,194
Yes, but I don't.
586
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:02,072
[laughs]
My name is Gordon.
587
00:22:02,113 --> 00:22:03,656
Oh.
588
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,450
On one hand,
I want to be honest with Jan
589
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:06,701
and tell her the truth.
590
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:07,952
But on the other hand,
591
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,121
I'm afraid
she's gonna dump me.
592
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,498
You know, Michael,
593
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:13,583
I fathered
an illegitimate son.
594
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:15,210
Really.
But I kept all this
595
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,420
from my wife, Deborah.
596
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:20,465
These things only serve
to upset the women.
597
00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:24,094
They are the gentler sex.
598
00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:26,262
Wow.
599
00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:29,307
Ben Franklin, you're really
kind of a sleazebag.
600
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,643
Excuse me?
601
00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:33,603
Get out of my office.
You're disgusting.
602
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,440
Kay.
603
00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:42,904
[door closes]
604
00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:44,781
I would've never voted for him.
605
00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:49,244
Stripper?
606
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:50,787
Could I ask you
a question?
607
00:22:50,829 --> 00:22:52,956
About women?
608
00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:55,041
While I'm on hold, I can talk.
609
00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:56,751
Um...
610
00:22:56,793 --> 00:23:00,213
Should I tell my girlfriend
that you danced up on me?
611
00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:03,883
[inhales]
612
00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:06,928
Secret secrets are no fun.
613
00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:10,140
Secret secrets hurt someone.
614
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:14,602
Wow.
615
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:16,396
Thank you.
616
00:23:19,107 --> 00:23:20,775
Care for a piece
of chocolate?
617
00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:21,943
Chocolate!
618
00:23:21,985 --> 00:23:23,278
Where did you acquire it?
619
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,113
That is a delicacy
in the Amazon,
620
00:23:25,155 --> 00:23:26,322
but it has not yet
been imported
621
00:23:26,364 --> 00:23:28,324
to the United States.
622
00:23:28,366 --> 00:23:30,410
Who was the king
of Austria? Joseph II.
623
00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:32,287
Who was the king
of Prussia? Friedrich Wilhelm III.
624
00:23:32,328 --> 00:23:33,663
Who was the king
of England?
625
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:36,291
Why, the tyrant King George,
of course.
626
00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:37,625
I don't care
what Jim says.
627
00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:40,128
That is not
the real Ben Franklin.
628
00:23:40,170 --> 00:23:44,549
I am 99% sure.
629
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:46,801
98.
630
00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:49,054
[Jan on speakerphone]
Michael, I left a meeting.
631
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,264
What is so urgent?
632
00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:54,267
Are you... are you okay?
633
00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:55,769
Not really.
634
00:23:55,810 --> 00:23:57,979
Look, I don't know
how to say this,
635
00:23:58,021 --> 00:23:59,189
so I just will.
636
00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:00,148
(Jan)
Okay.
637
00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:03,109
I, um...
638
00:24:03,151 --> 00:24:06,279
went to a bachelor party.
639
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:10,033
And things got
a little out of hand.
640
00:24:10,075 --> 00:24:13,328
Uh, when--when did--
when, last night?
641
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:15,497
No, today at work.
642
00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:17,082
You went to a bachelor party
at work?
643
00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:18,958
Yes, I kind of arranged it.
644
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,211
Well, I don't even think
the stripper was that hot.
645
00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:23,088
Do--do you guys
think she was hot?
646
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:24,339
Kelly, don't do this.
647
00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:25,548
Do what?
I just asked you a question.
648
00:24:25,590 --> 00:24:27,133
You know
what you're doing.
649
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:28,093
Anyway,
you know who was
650
00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:29,552
totally flirting
with Ben Franklin?
651
00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:31,096
Pam.
652
00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:32,514
Really?
653
00:24:32,555 --> 00:24:34,265
Looks like I hired
the right guy.
654
00:24:34,307 --> 00:24:35,517
I'm glad.
655
00:24:35,558 --> 00:24:37,143
Any real potential there,
Beesly?
656
00:24:37,185 --> 00:24:38,311
[Pam laughs]
657
00:24:38,353 --> 00:24:40,230
Yeah. Right.
658
00:24:40,271 --> 00:24:42,774
God, I need a boyfriend.
659
00:24:42,816 --> 00:24:44,693
Um...
660
00:24:44,734 --> 00:24:46,986
You know, Ryan,
I'm--I'm totally ready
661
00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:49,197
to be set up with one of
your business school friends.
662
00:24:49,239 --> 00:24:50,532
Whenever.
663
00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:51,908
(Ryan)
'Kay.
664
00:24:54,285 --> 00:24:55,578
Oh, my God.
665
00:24:55,620 --> 00:24:58,206
I would get so fat
if I worked here. Yeah?
666
00:24:58,248 --> 00:25:00,291
I lose my appetite
all the time.
667
00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:02,919
You could strip,
you know.
668
00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:04,921
Thanks.
669
00:25:07,007 --> 00:25:10,510
You could probably
answer the phones here.
670
00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:13,888
I'd rather kill myself.
671
00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:15,015
Really?
You--
672
00:25:15,056 --> 00:25:17,726
you'd take your clothes off
for money.
673
00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:20,103
I'm not gonna do this forever.
674
00:25:20,145 --> 00:25:21,980
I'm taking art classes.
675
00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:28,695
So you don't want
to end our relationship?
676
00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:30,196
(Jan)
I'm closer to firing you.
677
00:25:30,238 --> 00:25:32,741
That is so sweet.
678
00:25:32,782 --> 00:25:35,326
You are the best
cheated girlfriend in the world.
679
00:25:35,368 --> 00:25:36,536
Do you know that?
[Jan sighs]
680
00:25:36,578 --> 00:25:37,746
You are.
I'll talk to you later.
681
00:25:37,787 --> 00:25:39,914
[Jan hangs up]
You are. Okay.
682
00:25:39,956 --> 00:25:41,750
Dwight, get in here.
683
00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:43,460
That is one very special woman.
684
00:25:43,501 --> 00:25:46,379
Dwight, I would like you
685
00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:48,048
to give me the cell number
of that stripper.
686
00:25:48,089 --> 00:25:50,383
She gave me some of the best
advice I've ever gotten.
687
00:25:50,425 --> 00:25:52,510
Good work.
Thank you.
688
00:25:52,552 --> 00:25:53,928
Uh, I don't have it.
689
00:25:53,970 --> 00:25:55,972
I'm gonna have to trace it
from her license plate.
690
00:25:56,014 --> 00:25:57,766
Perfect.
691
00:25:57,807 --> 00:26:01,269
So you know who turned out
to be kind of a creep?
692
00:26:01,311 --> 00:26:03,688
Ben Franklin.
693
00:26:03,730 --> 00:26:06,566
And...
Elizabeth, the stripper?
694
00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:08,151
Gave me great advice.
695
00:26:08,193 --> 00:26:09,944
Which rhymed.
696
00:26:11,321 --> 00:26:13,698
Really makes you wonder how
697
00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:15,784
Ben Franklin
can become president,
698
00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:19,496
but someone
like Elizabeth can't.
699
00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:25,168
Are you nearsighted
or farsighted?
700
00:26:25,210 --> 00:26:26,544
Both.
701
00:26:26,586 --> 00:26:28,922
That's why I invented
the bifocals. Gaah!
45995
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