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DAVID: May I call in a favour?
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00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:06,000
MICHAEL: Um...
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,960
do I owe you a favour?
Yeah.
4
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:10,960
I'm reasonably sure, yeah.
5
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,960
Who's playing Scrooge?
6
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,960
We'll find out before the interview,
apparently.
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00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,960
Why so last-minute?
Who the fuck knows?
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00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,960
Yes! I filled in for you
at the beat poetry night in March.
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00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:31,800
Er... Ah, I helped with
your acceptance speech in April.
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00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,800
You told me I wasn't gonna win.
11
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:34,960
Did you win?
No.
12
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,960
So I saved you time. We're even.
13
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,960
No, the Lorraine show in May.
14
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,960
I did all the legwork
cos you were all jetlagged.
15
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:43,960
Graham Norton, June.
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00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,000
I did the legwork
when you were hungover.
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00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,960
Poster signing at Comic Con in July.
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00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,320
Er... August,
book signing at Foyles.
19
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,960
No, I was there for that one!
20
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,960
No, you'd, um, sprained your wrist
playing ping-pong.
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00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,960
I signed for both of us.
22
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,960
We are not even.
We are even.
23
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,960
No, no. September,
your charity auction thing.
24
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,960
I donated lunch with David Tennant.
25
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,960
That was for the homeless!
26
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:07,960
A favour's a favour.
27
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,960
You enjoyed it.
28
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,960
The winner took me
to a Little Chef in Milton Keynes
29
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where she stuffed her face
whilst reading out loud
30
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,960
her pornographic fan fiction,
entitled
31
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:19,960
Just What The Doctor Ordered,
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spraying me with chicken goujons
and fucking Fanta!
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You enjoyed it!
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This party...
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Er, for Georgia?
Yeah.
36
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,960
It's a wee bit difficult to arrange,
trapped in a hotel room in Tokyo
37
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:45,640
on the other side of the world,
so I need a little bit of help
38
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:46,960
with the finishing touches.
39
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,960
What's still to do?
The food.
40
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:49,960
And the drink.
41
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And the music and the guests.
42
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:52,960
Have you sorted anything?
43
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,640
The venue, yes.
44
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I just need someone to check it.
45
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,960
What?
46
00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:58,960
No, no, no, no.
47
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,960
I can't drive to London.
It's on your side of London.
48
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,800
Do it over the phone!
49
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:04,960
No, I can't.
Why not?
50
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:05,960
It might smell.
51
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,960
I'm sorry. For a moment there, I
thought you said, "It might smell."
52
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,480
Yeah. There's a review
on Tripadvisor.
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00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,960
Says something about the drains,
that it smelt of battery chickens.
54
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:14,960
Battery chickens!
55
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,960
So, can you please go and check?
56
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:17,960
HE SIGHS
When?
57
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Today?
No, no!
58
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,960
Why not?
We're going to a Christmas market.
59
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,960
This is more important!
60
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,960
TV's Rob Brydon MAY be making
waffles.
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00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,960
TV's Rob Brydon can shove
his waffles up his arse.
62
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,960
I mean, that's blasphemy.
63
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,960
Come on, Georgia's always wanted
to go.
64
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,960
I will lose the booking
if it's not confirmed today.
65
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:37,320
I need to check it
before I can confirm it.
66
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,960
In case it smells of chickens?
67
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,960
In case it smells of chickens.
68
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,320
What's the restaurant called?
69
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,960
Dolos. D-O-L-O-S. Almasy Street.
70
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,160
And the booking's under your name?
Yeah.
71
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,960
You check that they can fit 50.
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00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,960
And do food.
73
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,160
Maybe ask about cocktails
and karaoke.
74
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,960
And a cake,
cake with her name on it.
75
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,960
I want it to be classy.
76
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,480
Hence the karaoke.
Oh,
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00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,320
do not tell Georgia
you're helping me with this.
78
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,960
Please, don't tell anyone.
I won't.
79
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,960
Promise me.
I promise.
80
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,960
I don't want her thinking I'm inept.
Perish the thought!
81
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,320
David, Michael. Oh, hello.
82
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,960
Hello.
I wasn't expecting you.
83
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,960
Just having a wee chat.
I'm just meeting
84
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,960
the interviewer here,
just to check the link before...
85
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,960
Actually, it might be best
if you two were...
86
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,960
Oh.
Oh, "fuck off"?
87
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,960
Just for half an hour.
Who's playing Scrooge?
88
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,960
That is a great question.
89
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:29,960
Hi, hi, sorry.
Dominic!
90
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:30,960
Simon.
Hi, yes.
91
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,960
And of course, this is David Tennant
92
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,800
and Michael Sheen.
93
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,960
Hello, lovely to meet you, Dominic.
Hi.
94
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,800
I'm a little early.
Oh, don't worry.
95
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,960
We'll leave you to it.
Er, hwyl fawr.
96
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,960
See you later. Da boch.
97
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,480
Very, very good.
98
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,960
Very good.
Looking forward to it.
99
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,320
Och, me too. Who's playing Scrooge?
100
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:49,960
Actually, David and Michael have
101
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,960
to head off, don't you?
Don't they? Don't you?
102
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:53,960
See you in a bit.
Off you go.
103
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,480
Guys, thank you.
Thank you for your time.
104
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,960
Bye-bye.
Bye. See you in a bit.
105
00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:01,960
So, you got David and Michael back.
106
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,640
Yes, well, we have just been looking
for the right thing
107
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:05,960
all these months, something fun.
108
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,000
A sort of radio play.
109
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,640
Well, radio's fun.
110
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,480
I didn't realise that the working
relationship was back on track.
111
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:12,960
Er, yes. God, we are...
112
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,960
We are just so fond of each other.
You said publicly
113
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,960
that you thought that the pairing
had run its course
114
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,960
and become boring.
Yes, well,
115
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,960
I'm glad you brought that up,
actually...
116
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,480
"I'd rather put a fire out
with my face
117
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,960
"than work with him again."
118
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,960
Was that Michael?
David.
119
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:29,960
David? Was it? Right.
120
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,960
"I'd rather watch cheese melt
121
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,960
"and then ask the melted cheese
to direct."
122
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,640
That was Michael.
123
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,960
Yeah, well, the respect is back now.
124
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,320
Who's playing Scrooge?
125
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,960
Ah, you, you're good, you are.
126
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,800
Just wait half an hour and
all your questions will be answered.
127
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,960
It's gonna be David, Michael,
Anna, Georgia, Lucy...
128
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:50,960
And you.
And me.
129
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,960
And a casting announcement.
130
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,960
Oh, would be good, wouldn't it?
131
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,000
Fingers crossed.
132
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,960
All right. Thank you, Simon.
133
00:04:58,960 --> 00:04:59,960
Bye, bye, bye, bye.
See you in a bit.
134
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,960
HE SIGHS
135
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,960
Lucy, it's me. We are about to speak
136
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,160
to Front Row and I haven't decided
137
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,320
who's playing Scrooge yet -
David or Michael.
138
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:15,960
Whoever doesn't get it
will likely shout at me
139
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,960
and I'd like to avoid that...
Simon?
140
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:18,960
Got to go.
141
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,640
Call me back. Love you. Bye.
Simon?
142
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:21,960
I'm here!
143
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:22,960
OK, hold on one sec.
144
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,320
I'm here.
145
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,960
Simon?
146
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:29,960
Hi, yes.
147
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,160
Who is playing Scrooge?
148
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,960
David?
How would Michael feel about that?
149
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:34,960
Well, you know Michael.
150
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,960
Actually, I don't.
151
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,800
Hey.
I don't like this plant here.
152
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:40,960
Hi!
153
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:41,960
What are you doing?
154
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,960
I'm hiding keys.
Oh. Why?
155
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,960
Cos we're supposed to be taking Lyra
to meet Santa.
156
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,960
Now Michael is saying
that he's driving to London.
157
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:50,960
Is he driving to London?
158
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,960
Not without his keys!
Mm.
159
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,800
Is Michael playing Scrooge?
160
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,960
Well, how would David feel
about that?
161
00:05:58,960 --> 00:05:59,960
GEORGIA SCOFFS
162
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,640
I mean, come on, it's David.
163
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:02,960
Yes, but what does that mean?
164
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,960
Ah, Scrooge.
165
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:05,960
Mm. Is Michael playing him?
166
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,960
I assumed it was David.
Simon?
167
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:08,960
Mm-hm.
Who's playing him?
168
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,960
They need to know who they're
playing before the interview. Yeah.
169
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,960
Sure. How are they both...
How're they both feeling?
170
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,000
What do you mean?
171
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,480
Is David having fun in Japan?
No.
172
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,960
But it's such a peaceful country.
173
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:19,960
Well, he wants to come home.
174
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,960
Michael...
Does Michael like Christmas?
175
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,960
He seems eager to escape.
176
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,160
So, they're both unhappy?
Simon,
177
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,640
is it David or is it Michael?
Neither!
178
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,960
Because I've obviously got us
a guest star.
179
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,960
A guest star?
Who?
180
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,480
I can't say.
Why not?
181
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,800
He's shy.
Shy?
182
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:41,960
But very high-profile.
183
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,960
Is it, like, Hollywood high?
At least!
184
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,960
Awards?
All of them, I think.
185
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,800
How old is he?
How old's Scrooge?
186
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,000
Over 60.
Well, our guy is 62 next month.
187
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,960
Well, will he be joining
the interview?
188
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:53,960
Yep.
189
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,960
MICHAEL: Is that Simon?
Yes.
190
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,960
Tell him I need to speak to him.
191
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,960
He doesn't know where the keys are.
192
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,960
OK, is this real, Simon?
193
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,160
Would I make it up?
194
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,160
Me again.
195
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,160
I've put off
deciding between David and Michael
196
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,960
by telling Anna and Georgia
that I have a Hollywood superstar
197
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,960
standing by to play Scrooge.
But I don't.
198
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,960
Simon!
Call me back.
199
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,160
Love you. Bye.
Simon!
200
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,960
Michael.
201
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:27,960
Hiya!
202
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,960
Hi.
How are you?
203
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,960
HE MUMBLES AWKWARDLY
204
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,960
Ah, we've never really spoken
like this before, have we,
205
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:41,960
just the two of us?
Um, no.
206
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,960
Well, this is what it's like.
207
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,960
I don't like it.
Are you in London?
208
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:47,960
Yes, for the day.
209
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,960
I need a favour.
210
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,640
Can you check out a restaurant?
A restaurant?
211
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,960
It's called Dolos
on Almasy Street.
212
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,960
Someone online has mentioned
chickens.
213
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,960
On the menu?
No, the smell.
214
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,640
Are there chickens wandering free?
So, I need you
215
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,960
to check and confirm.
216
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:05,960
Pow, pow, pow.
217
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,480
Why can't you?
218
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:08,960
Um...
219
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,640
Anna's hidden my keys.
220
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,320
Why?
Oh, it's a game we play.
221
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,960
Well, I'm driving home.
When?
222
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,960
After the interview.
Well, you can go on the way!
223
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,960
I can't. It's Christmas.
224
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,960
Look, Simon, Simon,
this is important, OK?
225
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,960
It's not just any party, OK?
226
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,960
What is it?
It's...
227
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,960
a wake.
228
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,960
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
229
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,800
Yeah.
230
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,960
Who... Who's it for?
231
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,960
A vicar.
232
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,960
Were you close?
233
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,960
Look, I know we've not seen
eye to eye,
234
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,160
but if you do this for me...
You'll be nice to me today?
235
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,960
..I'll be nice to you all day.
236
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,960
You won't shout at me,
no matter what I do?
237
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,160
Scout's honour.
Deal!
238
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,960
Ah, great, thank you!
239
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:54,960
Is the booking under your name?
240
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,960
No, it's under David Tennant.
241
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,960
It's another game we play.
You and Anna?
242
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,000
Just check there's space for 50, OK?
Who pretends to be David?
243
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,960
And food. Canapes, I think.
244
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,960
And, um, cocktails and karaoke.
245
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,960
You want cocktails and karaoke?
246
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,160
Well, you know,
people sing when they drink.
247
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,960
At a wake?
Michael,
248
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,960
how are we getting to the market?
249
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,960
Well, it depends on whether the keys
have gone past the U-bend.
250
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,960
Oh, oh, oh, and don't tell anyone
you're helping, OK?
251
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,800
And don't even mention the wake.
252
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:27,960
I won't, I won't.
253
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,960
Michael needs a favour in return
for him to be nice all day.
254
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,960
Simon...
I can get David to play Scrooge
255
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,960
and Michael can't shout at me.
Simon...
256
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,960
All I've got to do is go to some
restaurant after the interview.
257
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,960
Are you free after the interview?
258
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,000
Why?
259
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,800
We need to do a research chat
with the guest.
260
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,960
No.
OK, why not?
261
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,960
I have to check out a restaurant.
What for?
262
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:02,960
A children's party.
263
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,480
You don't have any children.
No.
264
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,960
I'm doing a favour for a friend.
Is the friend a child?
265
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:07,960
He has children.
266
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,960
So, why can't he check it out
for himself then?
267
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,480
He's at a wake.
268
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,960
His vicar died.
I'm really sorry, I can't...
269
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,160
OK, what is the restaurant called?
Dolos.
270
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,960
What, the one on Almasy Road?
Yes.
271
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,960
That's super close. I've heard
amazing things, by the way.
272
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,000
Have you heard anything
about chickens? Chickens?
273
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,960
There's rumours of a smell.
Right, no.
274
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,960
What if I go for you?
When?
275
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,960
Now. I'll go now,
and then you do the research chat.
276
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,960
That would be incredible.
So, is it just the chicken smell?
277
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,960
Er, no. Can they fit 50 and do food?
278
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,800
Like pizza and soft drinks?
No, canapes and cocktails.
279
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,960
For children?
For the parents.
280
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,960
Right.
And is the booking under your name?
281
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,960
No, it's under David Tennant.
282
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,640
I sometimes use his name
to get tables.
283
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,960
OK. Well, stop doing that.
284
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,480
Understood.
285
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,960
Oh, hi, baby!
Hey, baby.
286
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:00,960
Are you ready?
287
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,960
Very nearly.
288
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,960
Right, anything else?
Er, yes.
289
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,800
A karaoke machine.
OK, great. I'll be back.
290
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,800
Thank you. Bye.
291
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,960
Me again.
292
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,640
Things nearly came unglued,
but Georgia saved the day.
293
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,000
I just need to step back
this guest star
294
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,960
before anyone else hears about it...
David?
295
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,960
..and I am home free.
296
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:27,960
Hello?
297
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,960
Hang on. Just getting dressed.
OK.
298
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,160
Are you smart or smart-cas?
299
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,320
Smart kimono!
300
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,000
Ho-ho-ho, very nice!
301
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,960
When in Tokyo...
302
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,960
You would seem to be making
less of an effort.
303
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:48,960
Ah, well, the glory of radio is
the sartorial freedom it affords.
304
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,960
Is that right, yeah?
Yes, I auditioned
305
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,000
for my first radio play from home
over the phone
306
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,960
and in the nude.
307
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,000
Wow!
Done it ever since.
308
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,960
David, Michael.
309
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,960
I have made a decision.
310
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,800
OK.
311
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,960
David, I would like you
to play Scrooge.
312
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,480
Really?
And I'm pretty sure
313
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,960
that Michael will be nice about it.
314
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,800
I respect your decision.
315
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,640
But what about the guest star?
316
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,960
What? Guest star?
317
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,960
Yeah, I just had a text from Georgia
318
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,960
saying you've got some big
Hollywood star to play Scrooge.
319
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,960
Hang on, so David's not playing
Scrooge?
320
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,960
You've got a Hollywood guest star?
Yeah.
321
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,800
Well, is he showing up
for the interview?
322
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:30,960
Apparently so.
Simon?
323
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,480
Simon?
324
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,960
Hi, hi. Shwmae!
325
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,960
Oh, he's back! Hello.
326
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,960
Am I still too early?
Yeah, don't worry about it.
327
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,960
No, we encourage coming and going,
don't worry.
328
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,320
Yeah.
I can always go again and come back.
329
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,320
No, listen...
Apparently, Simon has
330
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,800
a bit of a surprise for us.
331
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:47,960
A surprise?!
332
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,960
Are you hinting at a guest star?
333
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,960
Oh, hey, Georgia.
Ah, David.
334
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:54,960
DOMINIC: Hi.
335
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,960
Dominic. You are early.
336
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,320
The boys are dropping hints.
337
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,000
Well, they shouldn't be doing that.
No, they shouldn't be doing that.
338
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,960
Can we have a couple more minutes?
339
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,960
DOMINIC: Yeah. Two minutes, not one?
Yep, OK, sure.
340
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,960
GEORGIA: Cool.
Can I just take a minute?
341
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,960
Have you been out, G?
342
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,960
Yeah, I had an errand to run.
343
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,960
I was telling Mike about the text
you sent about the guest star.
344
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,960
Michael,
is that what you're gonna wear?
345
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,960
Yes, well, the glory of radio...
346
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,960
Anna!
I'll get a jacket.
347
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,960
He auditions in the nude.
That's an image
348
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:24,960
that's gonna haunt me.
349
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,960
Take off the kimono.
Yep.
350
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,960
The game is up.
351
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,960
I'm confessing everything.
Remember me well.
352
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,640
Georgia!
353
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,960
Right. OK, all sorted.
354
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:35,960
I need to tell you...
355
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,960
There were no chickens, and the bins
smell in summer but not in winter.
356
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,960
Great news. Also, you didn't mention
it was for Christmas,
357
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:42,960
which, by the way, is my birthday.
358
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,960
I have something terrible
to confess.
359
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:45,960
They can do pizza and canapes.
360
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,320
The cocktail list is basic, but
they can do milkshakes. No karaoke,
361
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,160
so I got you a bouncy castle.
362
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,960
Bouncy castle?
They partner with a company
363
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,480
that does, like, kids' stuff,
364
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,960
so I got you a bouncy castle,
a ball pit and soft play.
365
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,960
That's a lot.
Yeah, and a magician.
366
00:13:58,960 --> 00:13:59,960
Magician?
367
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:00,960
Uh-huh, Chuckles.
368
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,640
What if they don't want Chuckles?
369
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,960
Then they should have organised it
themselves.
370
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,960
Simon.
Michael, good news.
371
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,800
There are no chickens.
372
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,960
Oh, the restaurant? How do you know?
373
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:14,960
Well, I just called on the phone.
374
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,960
Well, I could have called!
375
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,960
Yes, but bad news. No karaoke.
376
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,960
But good news,
they're throwing in a bouncy castle.
377
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,480
Bouncy castle? It'll lighten
the mood. No, it won't.
378
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,640
Well, then, a ball pit
will do the trick.
379
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,320
A ball pit?
And soft play elements.
380
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,960
It's a wake!
It doesn't have to be gloomy.
381
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,960
People will spill their cocktails.
382
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,960
No cocktails, only milkshakes.
Milkshakes?
383
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,960
People love milkshakes and magic.
384
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,960
And magic?
385
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,960
Hi, I'm your magician.
My name's Chuckles.
386
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,960
Here's my top hat. What's inside?
387
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:42,960
It's a little rabbit.
388
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,960
What if people don't want Chuckles?
Then they should have
389
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,960
sorted it out for themselves.
390
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,960
This is in the way.
391
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,960
MICHAEL SIGHS
392
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,960
Look, I know you didn't want
to do another series.
393
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,960
I know that, but you've got to feel
excited about this.
394
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,960
I do!
395
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,960
I'm all starstruck
with anticipation.
396
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,960
I thought about Georgia's party.
397
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,960
Are you being original enough?
398
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,000
With what?
399
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,960
With the entertainment.
400
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,960
Well, that's what
the karaoke's about.
401
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,160
Yeah, but what about
a bouncy castle, a ball pit,
402
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,960
soft play area,
milkshakes and a magician?
403
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:17,960
No, I'd feel bad about that.
404
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,000
You lack imagination.
405
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,960
Just check the smell, confirm
the basics and ask about the cake.
406
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,320
The cake!
407
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,960
Right. Oh, can you get
a bit more light, babe?
408
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,960
Oh. Well, it's half past ten
at night here.
409
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,960
OK, then get a lamp.
410
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,160
And, Simon, are you gonna hold
that plant the whole way through?
411
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,640
I thought I might.
Anna!
412
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,960
Can you chase her, Michael?
Yes.
413
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,960
Simon!
414
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,800
Hello?
Are you nearly ready?
415
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:41,960
We need a cake!
416
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:42,960
A cake?
With the name in icing on it.
417
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:43,960
But it's a wake.
418
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,960
Five minutes.
We don't have five minutes.
419
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,960
Can you just check
with the restaurant?
420
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,960
What name do you want on it?
Georgia.
421
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:50,960
Can you help?
422
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,320
OK, I think we're ready.
423
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,960
I quite like the suspense.
It feels exciting.
424
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,960
Does the restaurant do cakes?
425
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,960
Cake?
I forgot about the birthday cake.
426
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,960
Oh, there's a bakery next door.
427
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,640
Well, then, don't worry,
I'll call them.
428
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,320
Yeah, they do fun things
with, like, marzipan.
429
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,640
Naked women, motorbikes and things.
I just need "Georgia" written on it.
430
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:09,960
The party's for Georgia?
That's right.
431
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,960
At Dolos?
That's right.
432
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:12,960
On Christmas Day.
433
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,000
With a birthday cake.
David?
434
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:19,640
Yeah?
Why is Simon arranging my party?
435
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:20,960
He's not.
I'm not.
436
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,000
Who are you arranging it for?
437
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,320
Michael!
Michael?
438
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:25,960
What's Michael got to do with it?
439
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,960
What?
440
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,960
Is Simon arranging a party for you?
441
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,320
Can we please be
442
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,160
more sensitive?
Why do we need to be sensitive?
443
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,960
Michael didn't want me to mention,
but it's not a birthday party,
444
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,960
it's a wake.
ANNA: A wake?
445
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,960
DAVID: Who died?
Michael's vicar.
446
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,960
I didn't know we had a vicar.
447
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,000
Not any more.
448
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,320
And that her name was Georgia.
Michael?
449
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,960
Yes.
Is Simon arranging a wake for you?
450
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,960
Yes.
451
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:58,960
What happened to the vicar?
452
00:16:58,960 --> 00:16:59,960
Terrible accident.
453
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,000
When?
454
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,960
December 3rd.
455
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:03,960
What happened?
456
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,960
She was attacked... by a reindeer.
457
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:07,960
Ah, OK.
458
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,960
How old was she?
She was 57.
459
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,960
And why are you the one
arranging it?
460
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,480
I was her best friend.
461
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:15,960
I thought I was your best friend.
Shut up!
462
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,640
Where do you know her from?
463
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:18,960
Sunday school.
Welsh?
464
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:19,960
Greek.
Orthodox?
465
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,160
Atheist.
Name?
466
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,960
Georgia.
Surname.
467
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,960
Tennant.
Right. Balls!
468
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,960
David, did you ask Michael
to arrange my birthday party?
469
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,960
Yes.
Right.
470
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,960
Michael, in turn, asked Simon.
471
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,480
In confidence.
472
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,960
I mean, why not ask a fucking spade?
473
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,960
Anna hid my keys!
Simon, in turn, asked me.
474
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:38,960
So you sorted
475
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,960
your own birthday party.
Mm-hm.
476
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,960
With a bouncy castle, pizza bites
and a clown named Chuckles.
477
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:44,960
It sounds like a good party to me.
478
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,160
Did it smell of battery chickens?
Enough!
479
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,960
OK, we will unpack
480
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,960
this casserole later.
OK.
481
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,960
This is total chaos, and for once,
Simon is the least to blame.
482
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,800
Well, that's really good to hear.
483
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,000
Thank you so much
for saying that, Georgia.
484
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,480
And I'd like you all to remember
that impression
485
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,960
that you have of me right now
because it might not last
486
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:06,960
too long. This seems like a
good time to tell you, to confess...
487
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,960
that I might have misled you
just a little
488
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,960
about our guest star, and...
489
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,960
Ciao, tutti. Hello, hello!
Shwmae, shwmae, shwmae.
490
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,160
Am I finally on time?
491
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,960
Absolutely spot-on.
That's great.
492
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,960
Listen, I know
you're all terribly busy,
493
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:20,960
you don't have much time,
494
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,960
so why don't I just jump
straight in?
495
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,000
Sure.
A Christmas Carol.
496
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,960
Yes, A Christmas Carol. Toot-toot.
497
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:34,960
Mm, first question.
Who is playing who?
498
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,960
And not just because I heard
a whisper earlier,
499
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,960
can we expect
any high-profile guest stars?
500
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,960
Simon?
Simon?
501
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:43,960
Simon?
Simon?
502
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,960
Sorry I'm late.
ALL: Lucy?
503
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,960
Hi!
We weren't expecting you.
504
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,960
Well, I wanted to introduce you
to your new co-star.
505
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,960
Co-star?
Didn't Simon say?
506
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,960
He mentioned something.
507
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,960
We've been working together, and
Simon asked me to reach out to him.
508
00:18:58,960 --> 00:18:59,960
Did I?
509
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,160
In all those voicemails?
510
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,960
In all those voicemails, yes.
511
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,960
Yes.
Yeah. He asked me to ask him
512
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,960
if he'd be up for playing Scrooge.
ALL: And?
513
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,160
And he said yes.
514
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:14,320
Brr-rrr-rrr-rrr...
515
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,320
VOICEOVER: 'Sure.
I mean, the camera issue
516
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,480
'and the bad Wi-Fi,
that was the final...
517
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,160
'But they had not been happy
for a while.'
518
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,960
GUEST STAR: Sorry.
It's all right. Let's cut there.
519
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,160
'It had been a long day
and a big scene,
520
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,960
'a tricky scene, and new people
always slow things down.'
521
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,000
I can't seem to turn the camera on.
522
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,960
Well, we'll fix it.
Judi Dench had problems too.
523
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,960
Sorry.
It's not your fault.
524
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,960
I'm not very technically minded.
525
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,960
Simon, what are we calling that one?
Take 12.
526
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:48,960
How's the light in here?
527
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,960
Fine.
But the sun was up when we started.
528
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,800
DAVID: Where do we have
to go back to?
529
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,960
We'll have to go back
to your entrance in the kimono.
530
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,960
No, that's, like, 20 pages.
531
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,960
GUEST STAR: Sorry.
It's not your fault.
532
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:00,960
We must be able to cut in later.
533
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,960
No, cos we need it for the pace,
don't we?
534
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:03,960
Got to put the cocking kimono
on again!
535
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,960
Yeah, if you can. And, Michael,
you were in a different outfit,
536
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,960
the lights were off, I think.
537
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,960
Chairs were in a different position,
Anna was off-screen,
538
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,960
you had a different jacket.
Georgia, your coat...
539
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,960
Was that after I had my coat on?
I think so.
540
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,640
Does anybody remember
whether this was there?
541
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,160
Yep, it was on your left.
No, right.
542
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,960
I dunno.
Mum, my iPad's run out of batteries.
543
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:23,960
Oh, David, Doris's iPad's run
544
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,960
out of battery.
Er, charger's up here.
545
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,960
I'll put it outside the door.
Go upstairs and get it from Dad.
546
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,960
GUEST STAR: Aren't you in Japan?
No, he's upstairs.
547
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,480
The magic of television.
DAVID: Fucking wish I was in Japan.
548
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,000
GUEST STAR: Sorry again.
It's not your fault.
549
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,480
Whose fault is it, Simon?
550
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,480
Let's just get through this.
No, I don't want to.
551
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:40,960
Can we just get through this scene?
552
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,960
We're tired, Simon.
GUEST STAR: I'm sorry.
553
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:43,960
Shut up!
Whoa, Michael!
554
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,800
No, no, no, I've had enough!
But don't take it out on...
555
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,640
It's a mess!
It's a mess, this whole thing!
556
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,960
Well, it's a big scene.
557
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,160
Yeah, and in pursuit of what?
558
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,960
You wanted to do
a third series, Simon.
559
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:54,960
I know.
560
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,320
Promised us something new.
This is new.
561
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:58,960
No, no, this is a Whitehall farce.
562
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,960
And you think that's easy?
Yeah, I think it's stale.
563
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,960
I think it's a knockoff
Frasier episode.
564
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,960
It's been done before,
and, might I add,
565
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:11,960
by brighter, better, funnier,
more original people than you!
566
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,960
Yeah, well, you know what?
567
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:14,960
I didn't wanna do
568
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,960
a third series either.
Oh, no?
569
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,960
No.
Then why are we doing one?
570
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,960
David, do you feel...?
571
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:26,960
Georgia?
572
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,960
Peter?
573
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:31,960
VOICEOVER: 'And so, they left,
574
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,160
'with the first two episodes
of series three filmed,
575
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,960
'with the producers
576
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,640
'and the broadcasters
still expecting four more.'
577
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:39,800
Sorry.
578
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,960
It's not your fault.
579
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,320
All right?
580
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,960
Yeah, I think so.
581
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,960
Do you wanna swap?
582
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,960
Yeah.
Yeah.
583
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,960
He gets nervous about his height.
584
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,960
Yes, but he's nearer the camera.
It's the perspective.
585
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,960
Is that better?
Yeah, that's much better.
586
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,960
Where were we?
587
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:10,960
Yes.
588
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,960
Ah, the infamous series three.
589
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,960
Were there?
40276
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