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1
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,885
Next up,
Secretary Schrute
2
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:13,722
will read the minutes
from Sunday's meeting.
3
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,643
Minutes from previous meeting
of Knights of the Night.
4
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,437
No, Jim. Hey.
5
00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:21,896
Oh.
6
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,565
This meeting is for
Knights of the Night only.
7
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,400
Knights of the Night are
volunteer crime patrollers.
8
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,943
We're often compared
to the Guardian Angels,
9
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,611
but we could not be
more different from them.
10
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:32,741
Seriously, we are nothing
like the guardian angels.
11
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,076
I mean,
broad strokes purposes, sure.
12
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,411
Think Guardian Angels.
13
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,455
One of our many
recent good deeds,
14
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,957
we set out to capture
the Scranton Strangler.
15
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:44,377
Mission accomplished.
Not by us.
16
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,047
I'm actually just looking
for my Blackberry, so carry on.
17
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:49,132
No, no, no, no, no.
I see how this movie ends.
18
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,051
You make fun of me,
everyone laughs.
19
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:53,428
Ha, ha, ha.
Screw you.
20
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,473
Dwight, don't be bothered
by your friend's presence.
21
00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:57,932
What are you gonna do now?
22
00:00:57,974 --> 00:01:00,060
You gonna make fun of our
leader's weird voice, huh?
23
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,728
[imitating leader]
Dwight, don't be bothered
24
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,313
vah, vee,
vah, vah, vah.
25
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,606
Over the line, Jim.
26
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:05,732
I'm just looking
for my phone,
27
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,526
- so pretend I'm not here.
- Fine.
28
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,528
Minutes from previous meeting
of Knights of the Night--
29
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,364
it's our
official name, Jim.
30
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,865
Sounds good.
31
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,784
One, attendance was taken.
32
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,286
Two, get well card
for H. Williams
33
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,663
was passed around.
34
00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:22,916
Want to make fun of that, Jim?
35
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,501
It's terminal.
Is that funny to you?
36
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,211
No, that's awful.
37
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,921
Three, D. Schrute
was awarded medal
38
00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:29,964
for 500 miles patrolled.
39
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:32,967
Hey, all right.
[applauds]
40
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,386
That's not easy, right?
41
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,763
And the rest
was just boilerplate stuff
42
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,056
- that's--
- Go ahead and read it.
43
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,391
- Some people weren't here.
- Okay.
44
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,226
Meeting interrupted
by D. Schrute's coworker
45
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,602
who had forgotten Blackberry,
46
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,854
which you do every week, imbecile.
47
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,022
Leader reprimanded D. Schrute
48
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,816
for shouting insults
at coworker.
49
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:50,694
Leader warned D. Schrute
for the last time.
50
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:52,195
D. Schrute had allergy attack
51
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,572
which caused his eyes
to briefly water.
52
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:57,409
Reflective strips
were glued to patrol jackets.
53
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,412
Knights went outside
with flashlights to test them.
54
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:01,913
Smart.
55
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,082
Knights stayed outside
to play flashlight tag.
56
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,959
Oh, come on.
That sounds awesome.
57
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:07,836
- It was pretty cool.
- Was it?
58
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,087
It was fun.
59
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,296
It was--
it was pretty awesome.
60
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,549
Oooh!
61
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:13,633
[cell phone ringing]
62
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,593
Hey, yeah.
63
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,345
No, I got it.
64
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,889
Just leaving now.
65
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,892
[cheerful music]
66
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:30,066
{\an8}♪ ♪
67
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,079
January 3, 2011.
68
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,416
A day which will
live infamously.
69
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:49,753
Holly Partridge Flax,
otherwise known as Holly,
70
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:53,214
otherwise-otherwise known
as a living, breathing angel,
71
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,051
is engaged
to another man.
72
00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:59,137
This is freaking me out. I...
73
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,306
Okay, let's just switch
to the happy video, okay?
74
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,932
No, no, no, no.
Let's push through.
75
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,476
We'll do this.
76
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:07,145
{\an8}Today will either be the best
or the worst day of my life.
77
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,105
{\an8}Holly gave AJ an ultimatum.
78
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,358
{\an8}He either proposes
by New Years or they break up.
79
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:14,319
{\an8}Now if she's engaged,
I'm gonna go crazy,
80
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,904
{\an8}and I'm gonna start
attacking people.
81
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,031
{\an8}If she's not engaged,
in all honesty,
82
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,407
{\an8}I may just burn
this whole place to the ground
83
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,742
{\an8}out of happiness.
84
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,661
{\an8}Either way, I am going to need
some talking down,
85
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,997
{\an8}and nobody talks me down
like myself in a video
86
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,499
{\an8}talking me down.
87
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,167
{\an8}Michael, I know
what you're thinking.
88
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,794
{\an8}Holly is engaged
to somebody else,
89
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,087
{\an8}and you want
to kill yourself.
90
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,880
{\an8}That may seem like a good idea,
but it's not.
91
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,174
{\an8}[laughing]
Snot.
92
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,802
{\an8}Sorry, it sounded like
you said, "it's snot."
93
00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:39,928
{\an8}I'm so sorry.
94
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,930
{\an8}Okay, so killing yourself...
95
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,140
{\an8}[laughing]
96
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,850
{\an8}I was just thinking
about snot.
97
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,604
{\an8}[laughter]
98
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:50,939
{\an8}Good morning.
99
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,691
{\an8}Hey, guys.
Uh, fun thing.
100
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:55,527
{\an8}The index cards on your desk
are resolution cards.
101
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,529
{\an8}You write your New Year's
resolution on them,
102
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:01,908
{\an8}I'll collect them, and then
display the cards on...
103
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,910
{\an8}♪ Da, da, da, daaaa ♪
104
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,037
{\an8}This resolution board.
105
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,123
{\an8}Wow,
did your baby draw that?
106
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,542
{\an8}The glitter is blinding.
107
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,378
{\an8}- Oh, I think it's good.
- It's gonna be fun.
108
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,714
{\an8}I recently met Sue,
the office administrator
109
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,716
{\an8}at Vance Refrigeration.
110
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,426
{\an8}She has this awesome wall
111
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:22,220
{\an8}full of fun initiatives
and morale boosters and stuff.
112
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,598
{\an8}Sue just goes for it.
She's awesome.
113
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,809
{\an8}I know Sue,
she's not that great.
114
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:31,104
{\an8}And you know her husband's
in a wheel chair, right?
115
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,314
{\an8}- Okay, champagne.
- Happy.
116
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,192
{\an8}- Sponge.
- Sad.
117
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,527
{\an8}To soak up my tears.
118
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,197
{\an8}Gummi bears
and gummi worms.
119
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:43,992
{\an8}Bears sad, worms happy.
C'mon, man.
120
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,494
{\an8}Ukulele's... happy?
121
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,996
{\an8}Sad.
Something to break.
122
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,457
{\an8}Chocolates.
123
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:51,666
{\an8}For you,
job well done.
124
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,418
{\an8}Thank you.
125
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,086
{\an8}And two bottles
of scotch.
126
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,254
{\an8}Both sad.
127
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,631
{\an8}And did you get
the tickets?
128
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,425
{\an8}I did,
I did indeed.
129
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,385
{\an8}Two front row center
to Paula Poundstone,
130
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,429
{\an8}live in Poughkeepsie.
Holly's favorite.
131
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,389
{\an8}I hope she doesn't
call us up onstage.
132
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,599
{\an8}That would suck.
133
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,309
{\an8}Hey, you think
you could do my job better?
134
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,852
{\an8}I don't know.
What's your name?
135
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,520
{\an8}Michael.
136
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,730
{\an8}[laughing]
137
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,690
{\an8}I'm really excited
for Michael either way.
138
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,859
{\an8}Because if Holly chooses
to be with him,
139
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,278
{\an8}he will be so, so happy.
140
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,197
{\an8}And if not, he'll be avoiding
141
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,783
{\an8}the biggest mistake
of his life.
142
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,785
Oh.
Hey, guys.
143
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,329
I'd like to introduce you
to a new little friend of mine.
144
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,539
His name is
New Year's resolution board.
145
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:35,210
Shaaaaa--shut up. Hello.
146
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,169
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
147
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,295
What happened?
Is there a ring?
148
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,381
So, high five me.
We're back.
149
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,174
To a happy--
aaaah.
150
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,342
Look at those.
151
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,677
Mittens.
Those a present?
152
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,136
[whispering]
Come on.
153
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,472
- They're warm.
- Those are so fuzzy and warm.
154
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,432
Aah, let me feel those.
Let me feel that.
155
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,309
Put her there.
Give me a good firm one.
156
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,560
Ooh, that's a good,
firm handshake.
157
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:53,603
You're hired.
158
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:54,938
Yes, well,
let's get right into
159
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,106
the Anderson account, shall we?
160
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:58,024
Oh, definitely.
Yes, yes, right away.
161
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,317
- Okay.
- Yes, yes.
162
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,111
Right away. Okay.
163
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,278
Hey, hey, hey.
164
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,822
Want me to crank
the thermostat to 90?
165
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,031
Smoke her out?
166
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:05,990
She can't keep
those mittens on forever.
167
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,409
Yes--no, what?
Stop.
168
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,077
Yes.
169
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,164
Congrat--
170
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,332
- Wow.
- Ooh.
171
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,877
Oh, my God.
That's it, that's it.
172
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,379
Oh, I get it.
173
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,172
Everybody knows
about the ultimatum.
174
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,674
Yes, I told everyone.
175
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,051
Ha, ha!
Ha, ha!
176
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,388
Hey,
right back at you, bitch.
177
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,183
Happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy, happy!
178
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:35,520
- Okay.
- [blowing paper horn]
179
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,857
- [Michael on computer]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
180
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,192
Okay, calm down!
Breathe.
181
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,527
[real Michael]
I'm trying.
182
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,070
[Michael on computer]
I said breathe.
183
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,363
[real Michael]
I'm trying.
184
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,364
[Michael on computer]
Wait a second.
185
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,033
Are you
listening to music?
186
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,325
[real Michael]
What?
187
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,618
[Michael on computer]
Shut that off.
188
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,328
[real Michael]
I'm not listening to the music.
189
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,830
[Michael on computer]
Fine, just go crazy
190
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,248
for a little while.
191
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:57,167
[real Michael]
Ha ha, whoo!
192
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,043
[Michael on computer]
Looking good.
193
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,127
You're looking good.
194
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,004
[real Michael]
Mmph, mmph!
195
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,839
[Michael on computer]
Oh, I gotcha, I gotcha!
196
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,466
[real Michael]
Aah, aah!
197
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,508
[Michael on computer]
I'm pulling you back!
198
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:06,885
[real Michael]
Aaaah!
199
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,303
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
200
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:09,429
[Michael on computer]
Michael dance-off! Go!
201
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:10,430
[real Michael]
Oh!
202
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,598
Oh, that's nice.
That's nice.
203
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:12,766
[Michael on computer]
Go!
204
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:13,725
[real Michael]
Me, okay!
205
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,226
Mm, mm, uh, oh yeah!
206
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,353
[Michael on computer]
Nice!
207
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,354
We're gonna
calm down later.
208
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,605
[real Michael]
I'm doing it.
209
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:19,689
Oh, yeah!
210
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,066
Oh, yeah!
Right there, right there!
211
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,901
[screaming]
212
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,528
Oh, yeah!
[laughing]
213
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,157
Hey, Dwight. I'm collecting
resolution cards.
214
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,326
- Not doing that.
- Why not?
215
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,535
I've achieved plenty,
216
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,870
and there's no better
than the best.
217
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,080
Drink less caffeine.
218
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,581
That's a good one, pam.
219
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:40,085
I used to have a bit of
a Monsieur Pibb problem myself,
220
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,879
but it is hell
on the vocal folds.
221
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,339
Here's mine.
222
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,551
- Learn to cook for one.
- Yeah, I love cooking,
223
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,470
but I always find myself
throwing out
224
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,347
half the food that I prepare,
225
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,224
so I figured it's time
to just start preparing
226
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,809
the right amount of food
for the right number
227
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,519
of people, which is one.
228
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,770
Well, maybe
you'll meet someone.
229
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,647
No, some people
just don't meet someone.
230
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:01,940
I'm fine with it.
231
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,108
Really.
232
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,401
This is not a pity party.
233
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,653
It's not a party at all.
It's just sad.
234
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,989
- Angela.
- Yes.
235
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,117
"Make time for romance."
236
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,369
- Who's the senator?
- My boyfriend.
237
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,246
Oh. Oh, you mean
the state senator.
238
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,706
I'm sorry, I was confused
239
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,582
'cause you accidentally wrote
"the senator."
240
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,750
- [sigh]
- Wait, wait, wait.
241
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,128
It's that easy?
That's not a resolution.
242
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,046
That's just something
I wanna do.
243
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,674
Okay, fine.
I can do that.
244
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,722
[mimicking trumpet sound]
My resolution is...
245
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,056
meet a loose woman.
246
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:36,599
Oh, God.
247
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:37,767
- That's a good one.
- Yeah?
248
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,060
You know what?
That's my new one.
249
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,479
- I'm taking that one, too.
- Awesome.
250
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,231
You know what
you guys should do?
251
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,983
Go to the book store
at lunch.
252
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,902
There's tons of cuties
and it's easy to talk to them.
253
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,654
"Hey, what book is that?
254
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,322
"Cool,
let's hang out tonight.
255
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,033
Sex already?
Whoa."
256
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,076
- The book store?
- It's that easy?
257
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:56,494
I'll come with you,
show you how it's done.
258
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,704
- Okay.
- I'll drive.
259
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,706
My resolution
is to read more,
260
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,916
and if someone else is
driving me to the book store,
261
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:05,003
I can eat my PB&J in the car.
262
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:08,965
2011 is coming up all Darryl.
263
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,967
Hello.
264
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,385
Oh, somebody's got a new phone.
265
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,429
- Yeah.
- That is neat.
266
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,098
I got it for Christmas.
I'm so out of my league here.
267
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,184
[E.T. voice]
E.T. phone Holly.
268
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,269
Holly like phone?
269
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:24,189
[E.T. voice]
Holly misses old phone.
270
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,357
[E.T. voice]
Why?
271
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,317
[E.T. voice]
New phone is confusing.
272
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:28,735
Gets bad reception.
273
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,403
[E.T. voice]
Oh, bummer.
274
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,488
[E.T. voice]
Bummer.
275
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,073
[E.T. voice]
Reese's Pieces.
276
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,199
[E.T. voice]
Reese's Pieces?
277
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,992
Oh, God. Please stop.
278
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,535
I still have my old phone.
279
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,704
This thing, indestructible.
280
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,459
[cell phone ringing]
281
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,211
Oh, I should get this.
282
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,755
- [clears throat]
- Hey.
283
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:52,008
Oh, no.
Don't go see that one.
284
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,051
I want to see that together.
285
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,261
Yeah, go see
that action one.
286
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,222
[laughing]
Okay.
287
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,723
I love you, too.
288
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,395
All right.
289
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,525
10 miles to Williamsport.
290
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,402
I'm gonna sell this town
so hard on paper.
291
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,653
Hey, do you know
any good fast food
292
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,822
off exit 210B?
293
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,199
No, no, only 210A.
294
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,743
You've obviously passed that,
which is too bad
295
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:19,869
'cause I know a lot of great--
296
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,996
All right.
[dial tone]
297
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,791
Holly doesn't seem
to be engaged,
298
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,501
and yet she's talking
to AJ like she is.
299
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:27,919
I can't figure it out.
300
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,338
Do you think she's already
dating a different AJ?
301
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,673
I don't think so.
302
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:34,134
- But you don't know so.
- I know so.
303
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,260
When you broke it off
with Roy,
304
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,845
did you still tell him
you loved him?
305
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,097
- No.
- But you did still love him.
306
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,682
- I'm not gonna have--
- Do you love him now?
307
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:43,601
No!
Just talk to her.
308
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,186
No, she'd just resent me.
309
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,188
Or worse, she would think of me
as her friend.
310
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,273
[weird voice]
Oh, hi, friend.
311
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,900
- Yuck.
- I'll talk to her, Michael.
312
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,027
You think
she'd talk to you?
313
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,236
Why wouldn't she?
314
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,571
That's true,
she's really nice.
315
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:55,739
She'd talk to anybody.
316
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,867
Why don't you bring Erin
to balance you out.
317
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,077
There's a plan.
318
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:04,706
It is so obvious to me
that Holly needs to dump AJ.
319
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,334
The thought of kissing him,
320
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:12,380
his face pressed up
against my face,
321
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:16,801
his heavy breath
bearing down on my neck,
322
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:21,222
his tongue parts my lips
323
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,559
and darts into my mouth. Disgusting.
324
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,770
All right.
325
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,104
We should
divide up by section.
326
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,065
I will take
romance and travel.
327
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,775
I'll take the entirety
of the second floor.
328
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,943
I got that cutie
behind the counter.
329
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:40,950
Well, if you read a lot,
330
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:41,951
you should check out
our e-readers.
331
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,328
They're really neat.
332
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,413
Oh, I work
at a paper company.
333
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,374
Those things terrify me.
334
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,376
They could put us
out of business, you know?
335
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,336
Heard those machines hold,
like, ten books at once.
336
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,879
Actually, it's 10,000.
337
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,547
Holy [bleep].
What?
338
00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,257
Let me see that.
339
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:59,552
So light.
It's like a croissant.
340
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,230
Where's all
the fly honeys at?
341
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,941
Honeys?
You only need one, my friend.
342
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,776
You only need one.
343
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,529
Well, I don't see one.
344
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,947
- And we actually need two.
- That's true.
345
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:21,199
- Hi.
- Hi.
346
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,367
Welcome.
347
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,119
Let us know
if you need anything.
348
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,037
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
349
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,249
Why did we pretend
like we work here?
350
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,127
- Is that what we were doing?
- I don't know, uh...
351
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,670
- Hey, how'd you do?
- Good.
352
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:34,879
- Good, real good.
- Yeah.
353
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,423
- Yeah.
- I think we kinda nailed it.
354
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,674
Yeah, pretty much.
355
00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:38,800
But, you know, this place
is kinda tapped out,
356
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,176
- so let's roll.
- Cool.
357
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,928
- Okay.
- What'd you get?
358
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,055
- A book about oceans.
- Oh, really?
359
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,015
What else?
Let me see.
360
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,516
That's, uh, porn.
361
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:50,145
Pornography.
Old lady. Nasty porn.
362
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,941
Follow my lead.
363
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,152
- Hey, want some company?
- Want some company?
364
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,903
Oh, sure.
Have a seat.
365
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,906
How were your breaks?
366
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,491
Oh, really good.
I went to Portugal.
367
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,451
I went to Portugal.
368
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,661
Oh, wow.
You went together?
369
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,121
- No.
- No.
370
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:09,998
So, I just gotta know.
371
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,541
What's going on
with you and AJ?
372
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:12,834
Nothing really happened.
373
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,210
I mean,
I know I made a big deal
374
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:15,712
about this whole
New Year's deadline,
375
00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:19,174
but, um, it came and went,
and we're still together.
376
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,717
You didn't break up
with AJ at all?
377
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,552
I mean, not even for a week
to make him buy you a present?
378
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,137
It just wasn't fair
of me to give him
379
00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:25,930
an ultimatum
in the first place.
380
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,016
The whole thing
is totally my fault.
381
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,517
But we're gonna be
just fine.
382
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,769
Just fine.
383
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,520
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
384
00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:36,024
- Did you guys enjoy--
- Have a good lunch.
385
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,568
- Happy New Year.
- Oh.
386
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:39,819
Happy New Year.
387
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,364
How can somebody
give an ultimatum
388
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,366
and not follow through with it?
389
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,701
That's...
390
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,870
every morning, I wake up,
and I look in the mirror,
391
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,790
and I say, "Michael,
you have to be hilarious today,
392
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,792
or I am going to fire you."
393
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,210
Is it easy?
No.
394
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,420
Do I like it?
No, I don't.
395
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,089
But do I do it?
Yeah, I do
396
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:02,217
because I gave myself
an ultimatum.
397
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:04,886
Oh.
398
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,388
- Whoa.
- Hold on.
399
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,765
I am not going back until
I fulfill my resolution.
400
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:11,059
Oh, no, no, no.
Uh-uh.
401
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,519
Come on, why not?
402
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,270
I've never been
in one before.
403
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,940
I'm tired of being Mr. Perfect
role model all the time.
404
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,358
I'm telling you,
don't do it.
405
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,360
I got nothing against
strip clubs,
406
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:23,488
but I do have something against
them at noon on a Monday.
407
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,573
The day shift
at a strip club?
408
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,867
You can't unsee that.
409
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:28,993
Well,
we can't just go back.
410
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,286
I mean, we came out
to meet women.
411
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:32,580
Hey, there's a roller rink
across the street.
412
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,374
There's always chicks
at the rink.
413
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,167
What kind of chicks
are you gonna meet there?
414
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,293
I don't know.
415
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:38,461
Single moms
at a skating party?
416
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:41,589
Sweet 16
ten-year reunion parties.
417
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,633
Chicks fall down,
need help getting back up.
418
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,218
Roller derby practice.
419
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,303
Aah!
Rrrawr!
420
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:48,930
We're going skating.
421
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:52,142
[Rose Royce's "Car Wash"
playing]
422
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:55,437
* Working at
the car wash, yeah ♪
423
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:58,148
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
car wash ♪
424
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,275
♪ ♪
425
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,193
How's everyone's year
going so far?
426
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,236
- Really, really good.
- Excellent.
427
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:04,821
- Good, Pam.
- So good.
428
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,406
Good, Kevin.
Thank you for your enthusiasm.
429
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:07,699
Yeah.
430
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,367
The goal of this meeting
is to get everybody
431
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,453
excited about
their resolutions.
432
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,288
- Do I have to be here?
- Nope.
433
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,581
This meeting is optional.
434
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,499
You can go back
to your desk and work.
435
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,209
I will stay.
436
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,545
Who's been good about
their resolution so far?
437
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,340
Erin,
tell us about it.
438
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,509
Well, my goal was to learn
a new word every single day.
439
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,971
And I must say
that it is going immensely.
440
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,306
Cool.
441
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:35,393
Here's a little "way to go"
gift from sabre.
442
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,686
- Intercepted.
- Hey, Gabe.
443
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,271
Huh?
Whoops.
444
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:40,482
Creed, I notice you don't
have a resolution on the board.
445
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,733
What's yours?
446
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,485
I want to do a cart wheel,
447
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,569
but real casual.
448
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,404
I can not make
a big deal out of it,
449
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,781
but I know everybody saw it,
450
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,200
just one stunning,
gorgeous cartwheel.
451
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,576
How's it going?
452
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,828
I'm having
a little trouble motivating.
453
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,080
One of the hardest parts
454
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,374
about making resolutions
is keeping them.
455
00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:00,877
In fact, most resolutions
are abandoned by February.
456
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:01,836
- Or sooner.
- Yeah.
457
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,046
[laughter]
458
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,631
- It's not a joke.
- But that's okay.
459
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:05,882
Because it's not about
being perfect,
460
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,467
it's about trying.
461
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,178
In fact, why don't we go around
and confess some of the ways
462
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,971
that we've already fudged
on our resolutions?
463
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,265
Well, I said that I would
eat more vegetables,
464
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,184
and I haven't yet.
465
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:18,269
But it's okay.
I still have time
466
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,480
since last year I ate none.
467
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:21,731
Okay, well, my confession
468
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,192
is that today
I had a sip of coffee.
469
00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,027
- But that's fine.
- Is it?
470
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:28,405
Yes, because with
all of your support,
471
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:30,657
by this time next year,
maybe I'll be
472
00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:32,867
down to one glass
of iced tea a week.
473
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,202
Next year?
Come on.
474
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:35,370
I mean,
what is the point?
475
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,705
What is the point of that?
476
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,416
I made a resolution to floss,
and I did it.
477
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,710
12:01, January 1st.
Bam!
478
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:42,961
Blood everywhere.
479
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,921
Not all of us are
Michael freakin' Scott.
480
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,464
What is wrong
with you people?
481
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,799
Can't you stick to anything?
482
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,176
Erin, I want you
to go to the kitchen
483
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:51,428
and get me
some vegetables.
484
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:53,430
Creed, you say you want
to do a cartwheel?
485
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,556
Nothing's stopping you.
486
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,391
Come on, old man.
Do a cartwheel!
487
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,851
Well, I can't.
I don't know how.
488
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,352
You're just going
to somersault around
489
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,729
for the rest of your life.
490
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:01,896
And you know what's
gonna be on your tombstone?
491
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,189
Loser.
492
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,399
My tombstone's already made,
thank you.
493
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,234
Just do a cartwheel!
494
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:07,569
This is
all I could find.
495
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,572
Eat it.
496
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,574
You don't have
to do that, Kevin.
497
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,743
Oh, no.
I'm glad this is happening.
498
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,244
Thank you, Michael.
499
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,580
Why are you eating
stem first?
500
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,666
This is a new food for me.
How else should I eat it?
501
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,626
The other way.
502
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,755
Can I get some Cheez Whiz
or hollandaise?
503
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,131
No, no.
504
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,592
No Cheez Whiz, no hollandaise,
no chocolate sauce,
505
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,719
just eat it. Come on.
Here comes the airplane.
506
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,013
There you go, open, open,
into the hanger, there you go.
507
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:35,972
- Oh, no.
- Michael.
508
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,140
Yeah, eat it.
509
00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:38,975
Put it in your mouth,
and just eat it.
510
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,435
God, I hate it.
511
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:41,644
I don't care
whether you hate it.
512
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:42,979
- You said you'd do it!
- Michael, Michael.
513
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,314
- All right.
- Eat it, eat it!
514
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,274
- Oh, my God.
- You're killing him, Michael.
515
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,359
All right,
all right, all right!
516
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,943
- Michael!
- Shh!
517
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:52,030
Okay, I ate the fluffy part.
Can I be done?
518
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,156
Let me see
if you swallowed it.
519
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:54,991
Open your mouth.
520
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,659
Under your tongue.
521
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,286
Oh, God!
522
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,663
You guys are pathetic.
523
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,878
Can I get some candy
or something?
524
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,089
- No, you can't have any candy!
- I'll get him water.
525
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,256
Okay, Michael.
Just settle down.
526
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,342
Um...
527
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,638
- [spits out broccoli]
- Oh! God!
528
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,436
[E.T. voice]
Holly Flax.
529
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:24,562
Yes, Michael?
530
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,148
[E.T. voice]
Not Michael, E.T.
531
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,943
What's up?
532
00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:32,362
Well, I just want to talk
about what happened in there.
533
00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:33,571
Oh.
No, Michael.
534
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,031
I don't want
to talk about it with you.
535
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:37,909
And I'm fine, I just--
I don't want to talk about it.
536
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,745
Okay.
537
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:46,626
[Rose Royce's
"Born to Love You" playing]
538
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:47,669
* Born to love you ♪
539
00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:51,047
♪ Ooh, sweet thing ♪
540
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,633
♪ My little sweet thing,
I was ♪
541
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,385
♪ Born to love you ♪
542
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:58,221
♪ I wanna sing girl ♪
543
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,432
♪ You're my reason
for living ♪
544
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,817
Holly, come on in.
Thanks for coming.
545
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,819
I thought there should be
an HR rep here for this.
546
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,908
So Kevin and Creed,
things got a little bit intense
547
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,577
- in the conference room.
- You think?
548
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,078
And I wanted to apologize.
549
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,247
These resolutions
should be about you,
550
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,416
and I made it about me,
551
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:28,043
and it was
none of my beeswax.
552
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,169
You were super mean.
553
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,296
It was insensitive,
and I am sorry.
554
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,506
It was
traumatizing, Michael.
555
00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:37,093
I wouldn't be surprised if
I never ate a vegetable again.
556
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:41,598
I really wanted you to follow
through on your resolutions.
557
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,391
The cartwheel,
the veggies.
558
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:44,559
I...
559
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:48,063
I care about you. Very much,
560
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:51,399
and you loom
so large in my heart
561
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,361
that I crossed the line.
562
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,571
Okay, Michael,
no offense,
563
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:59,115
but you need
to get your own life.
564
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,241
You're right.
565
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:05,121
And I hope that we
can still be friends.
566
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:08,583
I don't think
I'm there yet, boss.
567
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,335
- Well, I am.
- Okay.
568
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,961
[straining to breathe]
Oh, mmm.
569
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,630
[straining to breathe]
All right.
570
00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:16,091
- I'm gonna help you.
- Okay, okay.
571
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,843
* I came to get down,
I came to get dancing ♪
572
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,513
Hey, uh,
it's just you.
573
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,473
Anything you want to hear?
574
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:27,185
Um, Dave Matthews Band.
575
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,145
No hits,
deep tracks only.
576
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:30,772
Okay.
577
00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,023
[Dave Matthews Band's
"Ants Marching" playing]
578
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,067
I said no hits.
579
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:36,319
Heh, heh.
580
00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:43,284
♪ ♪
581
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,830
I just feel blocked.
582
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,790
I feel like I'm living
but I'm not--
583
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:50,750
- Hey, Ryan.
- Yeah.
584
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,752
How's your
fart project coming?
585
00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:53,962
That's real,
real classy, Kevin.
586
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:55,380
Hey, was it me
or you that just shoved
587
00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,048
the butt end of a pound
of broccoli into my mouth
588
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,466
because Michael
told me to.
589
00:20:58,508 --> 00:20:59,926
- Me.
- Mm-hmm.
590
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:02,595
- Kevin, don't.
- Mm.
591
00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:03,847
Come on.
592
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,849
Oh, Pam?
Soda, caffeine.
593
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,726
Yeah, just a little.
594
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,185
I have a lot
to deal with today.
595
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:11,354
Well, if you don't have
to do 'em...
596
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,481
Meredith, what are you doing?
I could be pregnant.
597
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:14,858
Okay, no.
598
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,569
Oh, my resolution
was to get more attention.
599
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:18,903
Nope, she's lying.
600
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:22,532
Hey, Ryan.
[fake farting noise]
601
00:21:22,574 --> 00:21:23,700
[real fart]
602
00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:26,036
One, two, three.
603
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:28,997
I did it.
I did a cartwheel.
604
00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:30,498
[bleep] you,
[bleep] you!
605
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:31,791
God!
606
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,752
- Okay, that's it.
- God!
607
00:21:41,259 --> 00:21:42,969
Lesson learned.
608
00:21:43,678 --> 00:21:46,723
Are you ready for another?
You've been done for a while.
609
00:21:46,765 --> 00:21:49,309
I'm okay.
Thanks, Hank.
610
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:53,021
Oh, wow, does that
espresso machine work?
611
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:55,273
- It does for seven dollars.
- Okay.
612
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,570
- Hey, Holly.
- Hi.
613
00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:02,906
- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
614
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:04,741
- How's the cocoa?
- It's good.
615
00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:06,284
It's the best.
616
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:08,870
[chuckles]
617
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:14,125
- Are you okay?
- I'm okay.
618
00:22:15,794 --> 00:22:17,712
I know you probably
don't need my advice,
619
00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:20,507
but don't feel like
you have to make
620
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,133
any sort of decision today.
621
00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:24,052
Oh, I know.
622
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:26,096
Well, honestly,
it wasn't fair of me
623
00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:28,348
to give him an ultimatum
in the first place,
624
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,100
and the whole
different cities thing.
625
00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:31,393
Yeah.
626
00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:34,938
You know, I thought Jim was
gonna propose a lot of times,
627
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:37,273
and I kept on being wrong.
628
00:22:37,315 --> 00:22:39,693
[smooth jazz music
grows louder]
629
00:22:39,734 --> 00:22:41,444
But I knew
he was the right guy,
630
00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:43,113
and that's all that mattered.
631
00:22:43,154 --> 00:22:45,448
[smooth jazz music
grows louder]
632
00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:46,825
Can I get my espresso?
633
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,493
Can I get my seven dollars?
634
00:22:48,535 --> 00:22:50,328
♪ ♪
635
00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:52,288
[funk music playing]
636
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:55,583
- What's up?
- Hey, where'd you go?
637
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,211
- To the arcade.
- Oh, cool.
638
00:22:58,253 --> 00:22:59,754
Why,
did you meet someone?
639
00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:01,131
Yeah.
I did, actually.
640
00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:03,049
- Oh?
- His name is Andy.
641
00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:04,843
And he roller skates
like a Greek god.
642
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,011
And you know what?
643
00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:07,220
I kinda like
hanging out with him.
644
00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:09,973
Right on, son.
645
00:23:10,015 --> 00:23:12,142
Gentlemen.
[clears throat]
646
00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:15,186
- And where did you go?
- Strip club.
647
00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:17,981
I was looking at the strippers
at the strip club.
648
00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:20,275
- Right.
- So that's it, guys?
649
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,402
If you want,
I can put on the strobe.
650
00:23:24,446 --> 00:23:26,489
[upbeat music playing]
651
00:23:26,531 --> 00:23:28,324
Yeah!
652
00:23:28,366 --> 00:23:29,868
[laughing]
653
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,870
♪ ♪
654
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,496
- Whoo!
- Whoo, whoo!
655
00:23:33,538 --> 00:23:39,419
♪ ♪
656
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:43,882
Do you want
to keep this?
657
00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,884
Mm-mm, no.
658
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:47,510
Do you want
to keep this?
659
00:23:47,552 --> 00:23:50,764
Yeah.
660
00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:53,308
- Do you wanna keep this?
- No, you can toss them.
661
00:23:55,268 --> 00:23:57,020
My resolution?
662
00:23:57,062 --> 00:23:59,898
I never want
to make Holly cry again.
663
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:03,234
Unless it's from
laughing too hard.
664
00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:05,362
Or making love
too beautifully.
665
00:24:09,783 --> 00:24:12,118
We're gonna be just fine.
666
00:24:14,204 --> 00:24:16,331
You know how you
say something over and over
667
00:24:16,373 --> 00:24:18,875
and the words
start to sound weird?
668
00:24:18,917 --> 00:24:20,835
Going to be just fine.
669
00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:24,089
Just fine,
just fine, just fine.
670
00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:26,925
I just think we need
671
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,885
to cool things down
for a while.
672
00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:32,472
Yeah, a break,
673
00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:35,725
at least until
I get back to Nashua.
674
00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:38,687
Yeah, I'm sure.
675
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:42,065
Look at where you're going
to be doing the cartwheel.
676
00:24:42,107 --> 00:24:43,692
So look where you're
going to be placing your hand.
677
00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:44,818
- So pick a spot.
- Mm-hmm.
678
00:24:44,859 --> 00:24:47,195
- You ready to do this?
- Yes, sir.
679
00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:48,363
You know what?
680
00:24:48,405 --> 00:24:49,364
I'm gonna stay here
as long as it takes.
681
00:24:49,406 --> 00:24:50,740
I really
appreciate that, boss.
682
00:24:50,782 --> 00:24:51,908
- I'm gonna spot you.
- That's okay.
683
00:24:51,950 --> 00:24:52,867
- Spot you!
- It's okay, don't--
684
00:24:52,909 --> 00:24:54,411
Go.
685
00:24:56,287 --> 00:24:57,706
I did it!
686
00:24:57,747 --> 00:25:00,000
- You did?
- The perfect cartwheel.
687
00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:01,960
Okay, good.
688
00:25:02,002 --> 00:25:03,253
What a rush.
689
00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:04,671
That's all I had to do
all year.
690
00:25:04,713 --> 00:25:07,173
Congratulations.
All right.
691
00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:09,884
Well, all right.
See you tomorrow.
692
00:25:11,803 --> 00:25:15,056
Done.
I guess it's time.
693
00:25:26,735 --> 00:25:31,364
Listen up, every reaction has
an equal and opposite reaction.
694
00:25:31,406 --> 00:25:33,450
Go ahead.
Oh, oh!
695
00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:35,618
What's this?
Oh, oh, what's this?
696
00:25:35,660 --> 00:25:38,038
Oh, no, what do you
have this for, huh?
697
00:25:38,079 --> 00:25:39,372
- What is this?
- [screaming]
698
00:25:39,414 --> 00:25:41,875
Dwight, Dwight, Dwight,
break it up, break it up!
699
00:25:41,916 --> 00:25:43,835
Back of the shirt.
Read it.
700
00:25:43,877 --> 00:25:46,129
We are unarmed.
701
00:25:46,171 --> 00:25:48,923
- Come on.
- [sobbing]
702
00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:50,425
Ah!
703
00:25:57,265 --> 00:25:58,808
- You didn't get me!
- I'm on your team.
704
00:25:58,850 --> 00:26:02,187
- Stop following me!
- My flashlight's broke.
705
00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:10,403
{\an8}
50033
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