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1
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,345
They're back.
2
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,931
Oh, yeah.
3
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,141
[people chuckling]
4
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:18,685
- Jim and Pam.
- How was Puerto Rico?
5
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,186
- Was it so romantic?
- It was.
6
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,355
- It really was.
- Really was.
7
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,190
I'm so happy for you.
8
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,650
Puerto Rico
was awesome.
9
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,694
Oh, my gosh,
the honeymoon was great.
10
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,362
We met this other couple
at the resort,
11
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,447
Frank and Benny.
12
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,698
We hung out
with them a lot.
13
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,700
[goofy voice]
Frank and beans.
14
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,952
- [laughs]
- Always makes her laugh.
15
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,704
[goofy voice]
Frank and beans.
16
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,997
[laughs]
17
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,623
Is there someone there?
18
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:42,042
Who is there?
19
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,501
I hear voices,
is somebody there?
20
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,086
Yeah!
21
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,797
Is someone here?
I can't see you.
22
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,674
Because I'm blind.
23
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,009
It's Jim and Pam, Michael.
24
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,594
- [gasps] It is?
- Yeah.
25
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:55,722
They're back? Oh! Oh!
26
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,390
Oh, Pam!
27
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,516
Nope.
28
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,269
And oh, Jim...
29
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,645
Hi, Michael.
30
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:06,524
Oh, I haven't seen you
since my accident that I had
31
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:12,739
when I fell--I fell into
the pool of acid, eyes-first.
32
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,825
Blind guy.
33
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,535
Blind Guy McSqueezy.
34
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:18,745
How do I describe it?
35
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,538
It is a character
I've been workshopping
36
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:24,584
whose lack of vision gets him
into all sorts of trouble.
37
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:29,255
The women in my improv class
absolutely hate him.
38
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,757
[groans]
39
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,426
You know, growing up we had
a Puerto Rican housekeeper
40
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,388
and she wrote this really
pretty song about her family.
41
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,932
She sang it every day.
42
00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:42,477
♪ Los Bernardos,
diablo blanco♪
43
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:45,814
♪ Muerte, muerte,
los Bernardos♪
44
00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,565
You don't speak any Spanish,
do you?
45
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,775
No, I don't.
46
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,194
Hey, is my old buddy
Luis Fortuño
47
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,570
still governor down there?
48
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,823
Okay, guys.
Why don't we just give them
49
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,492
a little breath of air,
let you settle in.
50
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,119
- Thank you.
- Okay?
51
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:06,001
- Thank you.
- That's nice.
52
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,836
So what'd you bring us?
53
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,254
Some candy.
54
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,172
- What else?
- That's it.
55
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:14,134
Oh, 'cause you spent
so much on the wedding.
56
00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:16,302
It's good to be home.
57
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,392
[groaning]
58
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,482
[groaning continues]
59
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,780
{\an8}[cheerful music]
60
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:42,954
{\an8}♪ ♪
61
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,968
{\an8}This conversation has
two items on the agenda.
62
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,636
{\an8}Do we have
a conversation scheduled?
63
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,473
{\an8}Number one, do not leave
your things on my desk.
64
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,017
{\an8}It's not some kind of
personal pen receptacle for you.
65
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,977
{\an8}I don't care how high
they promote you.
66
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,563
{\an8}Which brings me
to item number two.
67
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,232
{\an8}I never formally congratulated
you on your promotion.
68
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,651
{\an8}So I'd just
like to say...
69
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,446
{\an8}[high-pitched voice]
"con-quack-ulations."
70
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,615
{\an8}Wow, that's--
71
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,658
really thoughtful of you,
Dwight, thank you.
72
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,203
{\an8}[duck-like voice]
You're welcome. [quacks, laughs]
73
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:26,247
{\an8}I inserted a listening device
into the belly of the mallard.
74
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:30,168
{\an8}Now I can observe Jim,
trap Jim, and destroy Jim.
75
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,504
{\an8}Just like
in the Bavarian fairy tale.
76
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:36,633
{\an8}Only this time, the mallard
skins the toad alive.
77
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:37,926
{\an8}[laughs]
78
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,386
{\an8}And of course
in this version you lose
79
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:42,097
{\an8}the whole veiled critique
of the Kaiser thing.
80
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:46,893
{\an8}I'm sorry to have been
bugging you all these years.
81
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,311
{\an8}It's a real
handsome duck.
82
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,437
{\an8}Mallard.
83
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,564
{\an8}Okay, I'll get
out of your hair.
84
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:55,902
[squeaks on desk]
85
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,155
{\an8}- Hey.
- Hi.
86
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,907
{\an8}Uh, we brought back
some Puerto Rican candy.
87
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,659
{\an8}Coco leche.
That's my favorite.
88
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,744
{\an8}Awesome. I'll leave it up here
so everyone can enjoy it.
89
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:08,123
{\an8}Oh, um, let me just
check with Michael first.
90
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,916
{\an8}[laughs]
I think it'll be okay.
91
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,501
{\an8}[laughs]
I think it will too,
92
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,211
{\an8}but I'll just
check with him, though.
93
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,504
{\an8}Great.
94
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,964
{\an8}Oops. Sorry.
95
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,465
Oops.
96
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,351
{\an8}I have recently
taken a lover.
97
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,644
{\an8}- Well, that's great.
- Thank you.
98
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,146
{\an8}Congratulations.
99
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,689
{\an8}Who's the lucky lady?
100
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,899
{\an8}Pam's mom.
101
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,317
{\an8}What?
102
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,987
{\an8}Pam's mom, Helene.
Remember from your wedding?
103
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,572
You're messing with me.
104
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,990
About what?
105
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,742
You did not have sex
with Pam's mom.
106
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:44,909
Oh, big time.
107
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,077
What kind of car
does she drive?
108
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,579
- She drives a green camry.
- [bleep]
109
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,998
And the seats
go all the way down.
110
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,416
All the way down.
111
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,752
- Oh, my God.
- [banging table]
112
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:54,919
Oh, my God.
113
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,838
{\an8}[laughs]
What?
114
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,423
Okay, never tell Pam.
115
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,050
- And then secondly--
- Okay, good, a pact.
116
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,509
A pact.
117
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,261
Although I may have
to break it tonight
118
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,597
when Helene and I
tell Pam over dinner.
119
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,015
You all right?
120
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,017
- Oh, my God.
- Hey, Jim.
121
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,019
- Not now, Toby, my God!
- Oh, Jesus.
122
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,145
Get the hell
out of here, idiot.
123
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,521
What did I do?
124
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,982
Okay, as far as dinner
tonight, cancel that.
125
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,068
And please,
for both of our sakes,
126
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:21,905
never, ever,
ever see her again.
127
00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,615
I think you're
underestimating Pam.
128
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,409
I think more than anything,
she wants me to be happy.
129
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,453
No, not more
than anything.
130
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,331
Okay, I have
a good thing with the mom--
131
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:32,582
Don't call her
"the mom."
132
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:33,708
She's right on my way
home from work.
133
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,251
Then take
a different way home, man!
134
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,544
I di--all right.
135
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,338
I'll take surface streets,
it's--
136
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,923
the last thing in the world
I would want to do
137
00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,174
is upset Pam.
138
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,426
- Okay, so we're good.
- Yeah.
139
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,553
Could you at least let me brag
about the other night?
140
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,930
It was sublime.
141
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,973
I have had some incredible--
okay.
142
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,767
You know what?
143
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,727
That's disrespectful.
144
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,190
Can you change
my dinner reservations
145
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,692
- from four people to two?
- Sure.
146
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,694
Oh, is it okay
if I put out some candy
147
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,237
that Pam brought back
from Puerto Rico?
148
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,988
Sure. Thanks for asking.
149
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,366
Pam, we're all set.
150
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,039
Yum.
151
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,167
[goofy voice]
Frank and beans.
152
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,585
Frank and beans.
153
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,087
[both laugh]
154
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,506
So what'd we decide
for Michael?
155
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,883
The bottle of rum,
or the seashell alarm clock?
156
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,385
You know what?
157
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,095
Can I have
the weekend to decide?
158
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:30,015
Bottle of rum it is.
159
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,599
All right. Shall we?
160
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,601
You know what,
I am really slammed
161
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,186
trying to catch up
on everything here.
162
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,063
And I know
that Michael's slammed too.
163
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:41,151
So maybe we should do this when
things are a little less crazy.
164
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,698
Come on,
it'll take two seconds.
165
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,241
No, it--
166
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,665
[high-pitched feedback]
167
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:58,710
[feedback changes]
168
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,591
[sighs]
169
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:07,260
[feedback]
170
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,057
Oh, wow.
171
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,350
[giggles]
172
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,559
That is amazing.
173
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,353
I feel like
a real Puerto Rican.
174
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,771
Michael, you're all set
at Botticelli's.
175
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,564
I changed the reservation
to two people.
176
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,024
Erin, look.
177
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,443
- Fun.
- Yeah.
178
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,819
Wow.
179
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,905
Botticelli's, that sounds like
a special occasion.
180
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,573
Yeah, no, it's nobody.
181
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,701
[laughs] I don't know,
I think Michael has a date.
182
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,078
[chuckles] No.
183
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,371
[laughs]
I think you have a date.
184
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,747
- I don't. I don't.
- Come on.
185
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,499
Uh, I think we should
just drop it.
186
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,584
'Cause obviously he doesn't
want to talk about it.
187
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,419
[sighs]
I don't deserve this, guys.
188
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,504
- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
189
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,422
Just take the parrot.
190
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,758
- [sighs]
- Okay.
191
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,051
Back to the old grind.
192
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,719
I was probably gonna
break up with her anyway.
193
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,097
- Oh, that's too bad.
- Don't--
194
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,598
Pam, it is
very complicated.
195
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,183
There are a lot
of moving parts here.
196
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,601
- Sounds complicated.
- It is.
197
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,395
Yeah, but I mean,
if you really like this person,
198
00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,813
then you should
see where it goes.
199
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,440
- You want me to be happy?
- Of course.
200
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,484
Part of the problem is
201
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:07,654
she is the mother
of a close friend of mine.
202
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,280
Oh.
203
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,491
More than a friend.
A coworker.
204
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:14,828
Oh. Gossip.
Who is it?
205
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,498
Who is it?
206
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,918
Who is it, Michael?
207
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,339
Who?
208
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,674
It's okay.
209
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,136
No, no, no, no, no.
210
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,512
Oh, no.
211
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,807
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
212
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,560
Nooo!
213
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,146
That could've gone one
of two ways,
214
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,190
but I never expected her
to get upset.
215
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,320
How could you
do this to me?
216
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,905
He's my boss!
217
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:54,492
How many times have I
complained about him to you?
218
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,954
No, I am not being dramatic,
you are being crazy!
219
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,751
* Who wants
a hot chocolate? ♪
220
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,419
Thank you.
221
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,006
[sighs]
222
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,593
Oh, so Dwight gave me
this wooden mallard as a gift.
223
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:15,221
I found
a recording device in it.
224
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,349
Yes, so...
225
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,309
I think if I play
it just right,
226
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,852
I can get Dwight to live out
227
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,396
the plot
of "National Treasure".
228
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,648
You need to be
more upset about this.
229
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:29,110
She's your mother
too now.
230
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:32,322
Your mother
is sleeping with Michael Scott.
231
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,410
[screams]
232
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,621
I know exactly how Pam
is feeling right now.
233
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,289
I've dated a lot of women
whose children
234
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:44,167
absolutely hated me,
but I know that--
235
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:47,128
[Pam retches]
236
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,464
She's throwing up.
237
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,925
Andy, can I talk to you
for a second?
238
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,802
Sure thing, tuna boss.
239
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,273
How may I be
of service to you?
240
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,443
I am gonna need
your advice.
241
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:13,405
[plays loud opera music]
242
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:20,578
♪ ♪
243
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,959
I was thinking of getting this
opera for Dwight's birthday.
244
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,794
What do you think?
245
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,921
[loud music continues]
246
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,590
- This aria is a joke.
- Really?
247
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,842
What are you thinking?
248
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,886
♪ ♪
249
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,263
I was gonna go
with this one.
250
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,389
Let me
tell you something.
251
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:40,849
If you
respect him at all,
252
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,559
you will get him
something better.
253
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:47,647
♪ ♪
254
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,899
Bernard Dog,
what was that all about?
255
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,192
[chuckling]
I know, right?
256
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,569
What were you guys
talking about in there?
257
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,113
Trust me,
it would only make you mad.
258
00:10:55,155 --> 00:11:01,911
♪ ♪
259
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,794
How long has this
been going on?
260
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,963
- Why wouldn't you tell me?
- [sighs]
261
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,341
You're my sister.
This is humiliating!
262
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,217
- [door opens]
- Michael.
263
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,720
I know that Jim is my boss,
but I refuse to be deferential
264
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,347
to someone who
is practicing subterfuge.
265
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,307
What the hell does
"deferential" mean, Dwight?
266
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,767
It me--[sighs]
267
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,018
Forget it. You know what?
268
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,562
I'll take care
of the subterfuge myself.
269
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:30,732
- [sighs]
- You seem tense.
270
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,985
Hey, you want me
to give you the chills?
271
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,111
Okay.
272
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:44,913
There's an egg on your head
and the yolk is running down.
273
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,123
- The yolk is running down...
- Mm, feels good.
274
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:50,669
There's a knife in your back
and the blood is gushing down.
275
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,797
I'm sleeping with Pam's mom.
Sometimes dinner.
276
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:59,719
The blood is gushing down,
the blood is gushing down.
277
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,013
You know, I really would've
appreciated a heads-up
278
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,515
that you were
into dating mothers.
279
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,225
I would've
introduced you to mine.
280
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,477
Come on. Look at her hands.
281
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,270
[chuckles]
282
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,816
I'd like to see Pam's mom
crush her own applesauce.
283
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,781
I'm not sure if people got
my email or not,
284
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,241
'cause no one responded,
285
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,702
but there's some
delicious coco leche up here,
286
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,787
courtesy of the Halperts.
287
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,128
Well, then more for me.
288
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,172
So anyway, if you want some,
it's here.
289
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,971
Erin, you don't need to make
announcements about the candy.
290
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,598
Just leave it on your desk
and Kevin'll eat it.
291
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,851
There will be
no more announcements.
292
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,694
They're going fast. [laughs]
293
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,863
Due to a certain
recent incident,
294
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,406
corporate has asked
all the branches
295
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,574
to come up with ideas
296
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,160
as to how we can
better communicate
297
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,704
with our communities.
298
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:09,748
Is this because
of the "60 Minutes" segment
299
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,167
about working conditions
in our Peruvian paper mill?
300
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,626
That was a hit job.
301
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,338
If you read the Dunder Mifflin
press release,
302
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:19,758
it clearly states that they had
absolutely nothing to do
303
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,260
with that particular
cancer cluster.
304
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,971
So if there is a lesson
to be learned here,
305
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,474
and I'm not sure
that there is, it is that
306
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,309
in order to help
our communities,
307
00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:32,187
we need to put other peoples'
needs ahead of our own.
308
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,355
[laughs sarcastically]
309
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,523
And whoever comes up
with the best idea
310
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,733
gets a $50
gift certificate
311
00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:38,360
to the restaurant
of his or her choice.
312
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:39,527
[all voice approval]
313
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,904
Good, good. Okay.
314
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:44,532
Who wants to help
the world one step at a time?
315
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,700
All right, good.
316
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,118
Volunteerism
is important.
317
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,788
Every weekend I volunteer
at the local animal shelter,
318
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,373
and they need a lot
of help down there.
319
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,376
Last sunday I had to put down
over 150 pets all by myself.
320
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,710
All right. That's--
321
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,545
Paint a mural
of Chicano leaders.
322
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,880
All right.
323
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,256
I have a way to make
Scranton a better place.
324
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,341
You could leave it.
325
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,717
[laughter, oohs]
326
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,594
Okay, I'm outta here.
See you later, guys.
327
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,888
- And stay out.
- Promise to write.
328
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,891
Oh, no, here's an idea. Conservation.
329
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,643
I love it. Conservation.
330
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:14,312
Let's start
by conserving our time
331
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,315
and stop having
these stupid meetings.
332
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,441
- Hmm.
- Yeah?
333
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:19,901
Of course I'm pissed.
334
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:24,614
Michael... stupid Scott
is dating my mother.
335
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,283
[sighs]
But you know what?
336
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,743
This is an office,
337
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,996
and because Michael is
incapable of it,
338
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,582
it looks like I have
to be the adult.
339
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,877
No more meetings!
No more meetings!
340
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:41,673
No more meetings!
No more meetings!
341
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,718
Anybody else?
Who else has an idea?
342
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,177
I have some ideas
about conservation.
343
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,595
- [ring tone plays]
- Yes, Angela.
344
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,139
- Thank you.
- Please.
345
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,932
Would you hold down the fort?
346
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,726
- Hey, boo.
- First of all, I think that...
347
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,728
- What's--why are you crying?
- Yes, and I think we should
348
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,104
- look into that.
- Shh.
349
00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:58,273
- What--what did she say to you?
- Speak up louder.
350
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,608
- Well, our profit and loss--
- Shh!
351
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,318
No, I'll talk to her.
352
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,446
I will--no, nobody talks
to my baby that way.
353
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:07,991
Uh-uh. Yeah, I'll let you know
how it goes.
354
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:10,243
All right. Bye, pickle.
355
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,620
Who's "pickle"?
356
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,372
Pamela morgan beesly,
357
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,875
you need to apologize
to your mother right now.
358
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,085
I'm sorry,
I was told I had the floor.
359
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,045
Yes.
360
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,379
Whoa, hold on.
What's going on?
361
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,716
Nothing. Nothing at all.
It's all good.
362
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,218
I'm not apologizing
to anyone.
363
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,137
Michael owes me
an apology.
364
00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,306
For trying to find happiness
in the arms of a lover?
365
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,016
Don't call my mother
your lover!
366
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,142
Ooh, yes!
[all ooh]
367
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,602
That's what I'm talking about.
368
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,645
That is not okay, dude.
369
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,730
All right,
in my defense...
370
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,981
Disgusting.
371
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,316
That's messed up, man.
372
00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,026
Yes, thank you.
Welcome to my personal hell.
373
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,736
You have no sense
of boundaries, Michael.
374
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,112
Shut up, Oscar.
Hey, all right,
375
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,822
you know what?
Clearly I'm outnumbered here.
376
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,241
But could I just
say one thing?
377
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,785
Please?
378
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,496
What is so wrong about me?
379
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,289
I'm caring.
380
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:57,999
I'm generous.
381
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,544
I'm sensual.
382
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:04,089
Is it really so horrible
383
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:08,885
that I could possibly
go out and find happiness?
384
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,182
Good luck, Michael.
385
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:16,059
I hope you find
what you're looking for.
386
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,310
Maybe you're right.
387
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,895
- Who are we to--
- Shut up, Oscar.
388
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:23,191
What is wrong with all of you?
He is sleeping with my mother!
389
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,193
I don't think there's a whole
lot of sleeping going on.
390
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,487
Let's get back
to the matter at hand.
391
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,197
Whatever. You know.
392
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,324
Sleep with my mom,
sleep with everybody's mom.
393
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:32,575
No, no, no, no.
394
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,119
Whoa, that's my mom
you're talking about.
395
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,328
I don't like
the tone here.
396
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:37,080
This is a place
of business.
397
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,916
You are to listen to others,
you are to give others respect,
398
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,043
and you are to keep your
personal issues out of it.
399
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:45,046
[laughs] Oh, my God,
you are ridiculous!
400
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,715
Do not talk
to me that way!
401
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:47,966
I am your boss,
402
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,385
and I may someday be
your father, so get out.
403
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,887
You are never gonna
be my father. You get out.
404
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,431
I hope that
you are willing
405
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,266
to die in this office,
because I am.
406
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,144
Me too.
407
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,363
I have a lot of experience
with bullies.
408
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,157
Whenever I started
a new school,
409
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:15,326
I would know who they all were
by the end of the first day.
410
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,872
And make no mistake,
Pam is a bully.
411
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:21,499
And she is the worst kind
of bully--
412
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,626
a girl bully.
413
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,678
- You need to talk to your wife.
- Nope.
414
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,638
You need to either
make her understand
415
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,223
or you need to fire her.
416
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,726
I will not work
under these conditions.
417
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,061
I'm Switzerland.
418
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,438
Well, I'm Micheal-ville.
419
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,733
I need you to side
with me on this.
420
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:48,234
You're the boss.
421
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:49,944
Everybody here considers
you to be the boss
422
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,654
- more than me.
- No, that's crazy.
423
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,406
'Cause you've been the boss
way longer,
424
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:56,201
so you've dealt with situations
just like this dozens of times.
425
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:59,079
I think that
you can solve this,
426
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:02,290
because I am not that smart.
427
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,793
Toilet guard? Golden Ticket?
428
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,252
You're a creative mastermind.
429
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,421
You have a relationship
with Pam.
430
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,256
You know her better than I do.
431
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,384
Michael, you know Pam
way better than I do.
432
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,762
That's only partially true.
433
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,555
I am an idiot.
434
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,182
You're brilliant, man.
435
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,558
You--you know--
436
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,102
I wouldn't even know
where to start, Michael.
437
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,979
You are
an excellent moderator,
438
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,190
- boss, friend--
- You are the greatest
439
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,067
sleight-of-hand magician
I've ever seen.
440
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,360
You're the man for the job.
441
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:32,237
That's why you were promoted.
442
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,072
I can't lie anymore.
You're a genius.
443
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,949
Well, okay.
444
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,784
All right.
445
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,327
Stupid wedding.
446
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,246
If I had known the outcome,
447
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,498
I would have stopped
at third base.
448
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,502
- Hey.
- Hey.
449
00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,546
Pam,
how's your day going?
450
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,464
Pam,
just for the record,
451
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,216
I think you're
overreacting a little bit.
452
00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:55,135
Your mom's old enough
to make her own decisions.
453
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,178
Oh, well,
thanks, Oscar.
454
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,763
I was just wondering,
455
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,515
how would you feel if Michael
was sleeping with your mom?
456
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:03,143
My mother's
in a wheelchair.
457
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,103
Well, he could still...
458
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:10,025
- I'm sorry about that.
- Wow.
459
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,361
Oh, could I just get you to
sign this second page as well?
460
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,863
Between sleeping
with one boss
461
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,490
and having her mother
service the other boss,
462
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:20,994
looks like somebody's
poised for promotion.
463
00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,788
Ryan, I have to ask you
a personal question.
464
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,582
Do you think that
I should get a fedora?
465
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,751
Uh, I don't
think so, no.
466
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,336
Why? I think I'd look
really hot in one.
467
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:30,462
Where'd you get
your fedora?
468
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,088
I'd rather not say.
469
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,299
You think I'm gonna
get the same fedora as you?
470
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,551
- Hey, Dwight.
- Shh.
471
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,011
I think I would
look really cute...
472
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,346
It has to go with the persona
that you already have.
473
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:40,889
But I-I think
I have that persona.
474
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,015
Where did you
get that mallard?
475
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,016
What the hell
is a mallard?
476
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:44,642
That!
477
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,978
Oh, Professor
Damon D. Duck.
478
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,229
Jim gave him to me.
479
00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,356
Okay, I gave that
to him as a gift.
480
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:50,523
I'm taking that back.
481
00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:52,108
If you take it back
I'll scream.
482
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:54,361
[sighs]
483
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,862
I'll give you
five bucks for it.
484
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,697
20.
485
00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,199
- Ten.
- Deal.
486
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,579
You're so cool.
487
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:08,375
This reminds me,
you owe me three bucks for gas.
488
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,377
Hey, Toby, could I talk
to you for a minute?
489
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,003
Yeah, sure.
What's up?
490
00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,546
Um, I just
wanted to apologize
491
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:15,423
for taking that tone
with you earlier.
492
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,384
That was uncalled for.
I'm sorry.
493
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:21,471
Uh, yeah, that means a lot.
Thank you for saying it.
494
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:22,639
Can I sit down
for a second?
495
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,224
Yeah, or pull up
a chair and sit.
496
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,517
Or on the shredder.
497
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,227
[clears throat]
[plastic creaking]
498
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:31,731
This is gonna
sound weird,
499
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:35,235
but I think I may be the victim
of a hostile work environment
500
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:36,736
with this whole
Pam situation.
501
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:40,073
Should probably deal with that
outside of the workplace.
502
00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:41,783
She brought it
into the workplace,
503
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:43,743
so I feel like
it has to be dealt with here.
504
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:47,288
Yeah. Okay, well, I mean,
I could talk to her.
505
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,332
- Really? Would you do that?
- Well, yeah.
506
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,001
That's why--that's why
they pay me the big bucks.
507
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:54,170
[laughs]
508
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,092
You're a good, good guy.
509
00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:00,969
Um, okay.
510
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:03,096
You know, I always knew
if Michael just took the time
511
00:21:03,138 --> 00:21:05,348
to get to know me
we'd become friends.
512
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:08,184
Hey, Pam.
513
00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,854
Could I talk to you
for a sec?
514
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,981
Sure. What's up?
515
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:15,358
Well, I was
hoping that maybe
516
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,485
in light of everything
that's happened today
517
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:19,821
it'd be a good idea
for you and me and Michael
518
00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:22,407
to head into the conference room
for some conflict resolution.
519
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,075
What's the matter,
can't fight your own battles?
520
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,911
No. That's...
521
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,830
I think you should just
take the rest of the day off.
522
00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:30,999
Oh, would that
make you feel better?
523
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:33,626
I don't--I'm--
I can't hear your conversation.
524
00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:37,255
You can tell Michael
that I'm not leaving.
525
00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:39,883
[sighs]
526
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:44,012
Buddy, I think that we can't
make her leave, so...
527
00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:45,805
Yeah, yeah, you're--
okay, you're a jackass.
528
00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:47,223
Hey. Hey, you know what?
529
00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:48,808
Your just as stubborn
as your mother.
530
00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,977
When you don't want to do
something, you just don't do it.
531
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:52,228
[laughs]
532
00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:53,646
Michael,
you're just her rebound!
533
00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:55,565
You were right, Jim,
I should've listened to you.
534
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:57,233
Should never
have told her.
535
00:21:57,275 --> 00:21:59,277
What? You knew?
536
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,779
[scoffs]
537
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:03,656
Barely. I...
538
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,658
I don't have
all the facts.
539
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,744
[goofy voice]
Frank and beans...
540
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,873
Okay.
541
00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:13,416
Do you want me
to stop dating your mom?
542
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:14,668
Is that how we're
gonna get past this?
543
00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:15,710
'Cause I will.
544
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,254
Mmm... yes.
545
00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:19,714
Well, that is not
gonna happen!
546
00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:21,091
Then why'd
you even offer?
547
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:24,135
Because I assumed
that you want me to be happy
548
00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:26,554
because I want you
to be happy.
549
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:29,349
Michael, let me make this
very easy for you.
550
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:31,851
I could give a [bleep]
about your happiness!
551
00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:33,478
Stop dating my mother!
552
00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,148
You know what? I'm gonna
start dating her even harder.
553
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,525
What's that
supposed to mean?
554
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:40,944
You know what it means.
555
00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:43,238
[breathes deeply]
556
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,158
- Hey.
- Shove it.
557
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,327
Yep.
558
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:52,539
Well, all things considered...
559
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:56,209
this is the worst day at work
I've ever had.
560
00:22:56,251 --> 00:22:58,545
I don't need to be
friends with Pam.
561
00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:00,505
I have plenty
of female friends.
562
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:04,759
My mom, Pam's mom,
my aunt--
563
00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:07,554
although she just
blocked me on I.M.
564
00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:09,556
What's-her-face
from Quiznos.
565
00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:11,474
I see her
four times a week.
566
00:23:17,188 --> 00:23:19,482
[quietly] Dwight,
you brought the mallard back.
567
00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:22,402
Well, I had to.
I mean, Kelly was not--
568
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:23,945
[whispers]
Hi, buddy.
569
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,621
[sighs]
570
00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:38,418
I'm sorry.
571
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:40,503
- A wooden duck?
- Mallard.
572
00:23:40,545 --> 00:23:44,716
I put it in your office
in order to surveil you.
573
00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:48,386
I was jealous that you got
the promotion over me.
574
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:50,972
Okay, just to be clear,
you're terrible at this,
575
00:23:51,014 --> 00:23:52,599
and you're not
equipped for espionage.
576
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,393
- Oh, I'm equipped. I can es--
- Nope.
577
00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:56,811
Don't tell Michael.
578
00:23:56,853 --> 00:24:00,648
I won't, but you will
wash and buff our car.
579
00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,401
Punishment fits the crime.
I accept.
580
00:24:04,569 --> 00:24:07,113
Good night, everyone.
581
00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:08,656
Good night, Pam.
582
00:24:08,698 --> 00:24:10,492
Thanks again for the rum.
583
00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:14,079
- Night, Michael.
- Good night, Erin.
584
00:24:17,082 --> 00:24:19,876
Hey, Pam, can I see you
for a second?
585
00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:27,300
So Dwight heard you were
having a really rough day,
586
00:24:27,342 --> 00:24:29,636
so he generously
offered to wash our car.
587
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:35,350
- Aww, he did that for me?
- Yes. He did.
588
00:24:37,018 --> 00:24:38,645
You know what was nice?
589
00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:41,356
- Night swimming in Bio Bay.
- Mm.
590
00:24:41,398 --> 00:24:42,816
Remember
that older couple
591
00:24:42,857 --> 00:24:44,275
whose kids were also
named Jim and Pam?
592
00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:46,152
Yeah.
593
00:24:46,194 --> 00:24:48,196
Oh...
594
00:24:48,238 --> 00:24:50,073
say more nice things.
595
00:24:50,115 --> 00:24:52,701
Well, we went
on a segway tour.
596
00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:55,412
- And we're awesome at it.
- Yes, we are.
597
00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:58,581
[goofy voice]
And frank and beans.
598
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:02,168
Maybe I'm overreacting.
599
00:25:02,210 --> 00:25:05,130
Yeah. Maybe.
600
00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:08,216
- But I don't think I am.
- You're not. Nope.
601
00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:10,510
- [sighs]
- Nope.
602
00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:13,722
- [elevator dings]
- Uh-huh.
603
00:25:13,763 --> 00:25:15,390
Well, we could just skip
the restaurant.
604
00:25:15,432 --> 00:25:17,142
Come right over.
605
00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:19,936
I just scored a bottle of rum.
606
00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:21,104
Mm-hmm.
607
00:25:21,146 --> 00:25:23,523
A little rum for my lady's
tummy-tum-tum.
608
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:25,567
It's got a parrot on it.
609
00:25:26,735 --> 00:25:29,070
No, I don't know
what that means either.
610
00:25:33,158 --> 00:25:35,577
Whoa, where'd you
get that hat?
611
00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:37,495
I'd rather not say.
612
00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:41,166
[door shuts]
613
00:25:57,682 --> 00:26:00,143
[grunts]
614
00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:03,021
[Jim's voice] We have our
high-quality 28-pound bond,
615
00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:08,568
our heavier 38-pound bond,
or our s--
616
00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:11,112
I've got
eight hours of this.
617
00:26:12,822 --> 00:26:14,657
Of course I wanted Jim
to find the mallard.
618
00:26:14,699 --> 00:26:16,785
Make him feel safe.
619
00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:18,286
Did you really
think I would put
620
00:26:18,328 --> 00:26:22,749
my primary listening device
in a wooden mallard?
621
00:26:22,791 --> 00:26:25,669
I'm not insane.
622
00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:27,295
65-pound cover stock,
623
00:26:27,337 --> 00:26:29,089
which is the heaviest paper
that will still
624
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,965
feed smoothly through
your desktop printer.
44702
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