All language subtitles for the.canary.islands.with.jane.mcdonald.s01e02.1080p.web.h264-cbfm[EZTVx.to]_track3_[eng]

JANE MCDONALD:
'I'm off on me travels to explore

'some of the most beautiful islands
in the sun - the Canaries.'

Ooh, I'm doing wheelies!

'I'm going solo to discover

'why five million Brits a year
flock to this part of the world.'

I'm out of the bunker.

'I've done me research,
but I'll always be on the lookout

'to make sure I'm not missing
a trick.'

Look at that. That's fantastic.

'And I'd love you to come with me
as I head off the beaten track...'

This is absolute paradise.

'..reveal the unexpected...'
SHE SCREAMS

'..and discover the very best
that each island has to offer.'

Welcome to the Canary Islands!

'And in Gran Canaria,

'we'll head to the beautiful, quiet
north of the island,

'where the fountains have
an unexpected effect...'

I like the sound of it.
Yeah.

Also makes you want to go
to the toilet. Yeah.

LAUGHTER

'..before upping the adrenaline for
an oceanside view of the island...'

Whoo!
'..go strolling on the vast dunes,

'where the sand castles
are spectacular...'

Wow. That looks like me.

That's amazing!

'..before meeting
some real queens of the desert.'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
'So pack your virtual bags...'

Cheers.
Cheers.

'..pick up your passport,
and let's go.'

LAUGHTER

So, ta-ta, Tenerife,
greetings, Gran Canaria.

That's the beauty of the Canaries -

you're only a few miles away from
exciting, new holiday adventures.

In this case,
just 80 minutes by ferry

to discover a whole different
island's worth of hidden treasures.

It's very easy to island hop here

because, er, they're not
very far apart, the Canaries.

'Catching the ferry is really easy -

'you just roll up, roll on
and roll off.

'You can pre-book your tickets
online

'if you're an organised swot like me

'or buy them at the port if you like
sailing by the seat of your pants.

'Either way,
there's no price difference.'

The thing is, as well,

there's a big difference between
an airport pack and a ferry pack...

..because you just chuck everything
in your car in a ferry,

and off you go.

'The view from a ferry is way better
than on a plane, too...

'where most of your flight

'is spent staring at the back
of someone's head,

'here, the journey
is as gorgeous as the destination.

'So I'm just gonna pretend to be
Grace Kelly on me private yacht.'

I have arrived.

I'm in Gran Canaria, the sun is out.

It looks fabulous so far.

Geography time.

Gran Canaria is about 70 miles
south east of Tenerife

and 90 miles west of Africa.

There are 600 square miles
of this volcanic island to explore,

with an average temperature of 24C.

You'll find different climates
and landscapes here,

which is why it's known
as the "mini continent".

Rugged and off-road up north, and
beach-lovers paradise down south.

It's not as mountainous as Tenerife,

and it's not as volcanic
as Tenerife.

So this has got
a completely different feel.

I think that's the great thing
about the Canaries -

they're all so different, and
you find one that you really like,

but it's really good to island hop.

So, let's go and find out
what makes this place tick.

My hotel is right on the front.

It's on the Maspalomas sand dunes.

I do like a hotel on the beach.

That's just my personal preference.
I do like to see the sea.

I'd rather have a hotel room
looking out at the beauty,

and not at the bins.

LAUGHTER
Or the car park.

'I love a holiday that's got
the best of both worlds -

'exploring off the beaten track
by day

'and enjoying all-inclusive luxury
by night,

'so that's why
I've chosen this hotel

'with three restaurants,
a pool bar,

'entertainment and a spa.

'I'll be sorted at the end of
me hectic but happy days here...'

Hello.

'..whilst using it as a base
to explore this stunning island.'

I'm Jane.

Sarah. Welcome to Gran Canaria.
Nice to meet you.

If you just head this way, and
you can check-in at the reception.

Lovely.
Enjoy. Thanks, Sarah.

Have a lovely holiday.
I will.

'Ooh, hello, I spy a drinks tray.'

Hi. Hello.
How are you?

Did you have a good flight?
Oh, I've come on the ferry.

The sea was good today?
It was very good, thank you.

Yeah.
Rose, white?

Oh, rose, every time.
Oh... Yeah.

Thank you.
Enjoy your stay.

What number is it?
It's 706.

Have I got a sea view?
Sea view, exactly.

Fantastic.
Have a wonderful stay.

I'm going to.
And welcome. Thank you.

'Moment of truth -
what's me room like?'

Oh...

Oh. You have to put that in.

Lights.

Oh. This is lovely.

Let's have a look.

The curtains are always closed
in a hotel where the sun is very hot

because it obviously keeps
the sun out

and keeps your room nice and cool...

which, trust me, is what you want.

But shall we have a look anyway? Ha!

'My view.'

Oh, listen at that.

I can hear the sea,
I can see the sea.

And it's golden sands here,

which is different to Tenerife,
which is very volcanic and dark.

This is golden.

'Maspalomas is edged
by these famous dunes,

'and, in fact, my guidebook tells me
these thousand acres of moving sand

'are the number one attraction
here in Gran Canaria.

'Given I'm lucky enough
to be staying right by them,

'I'm gonna head straight out

'and explore
this wonderful nature reserve.

'Walking on these dunes
is like being on a remote desert.

'No people,

'just cacti and palm trees
swaying gently in the breeze...

'even though my hotel
is still in sight.'

All the sand dunes
are like diamonds twinkling...

because it's all coral...
and it moves all the time

with all the winds
and the tides and everything.

And it really is something to see.

Hard on the feet...
but really worth it.

'In fact, this sashay
down the seafront

'is really helping to orientate me
to the local area,

'and I've only taken
a few more steps

'before I realise Gran Canaria
is EXACTLY the place for me.'

'Scuse me.
Yes, love?

Would you like to come to our drag
show at Ricky's cabaret bar? Yeah.

And it's a special night tonight.
Right.

You can find me right there.
Right. I'm Daisy Diamond.

Oh, wow, is that you?
That's me right there. Gorgeous.

You can call me Daisy.
Right.

If you wanna come along and
say hello, that would be amazing!

I think I'm going to do.
Perfect. Thanks ever so much, Daisy.

See you later.
Bye. Bye!

'I've only been here minutes, and
I've already got a date with Daisy.

'But she'll have to wait, as right
now, an early night is in order.

'I've got big plans for tomorrow
and baggy eyes will not do.

'I'm up and at 'em this morning
as I want to get out on the road.

'The Canaries is like a year's worth
of holidays in a few days

'cos you can hop between the islands

'to experience
something totally new in each.

'I want to search for the secret
side of sunny, sandy Gran Canaria,

'so I did me research and discovered
the pretty town of Firgas

'in the north of the island.

'With streets lined with
the most incredible mosaics

'and waterfalls cascading down
the streets, it sounds stunning.

'And to get to the real heart of it,
I've booked a tour with these two -

'Olivier and Fabien, who moved here
from France 12 years ago.

'I'm designated driver
cos I love it,

'but if you prefer to chill
as a passenger,

'there are loads of driven tours,

'or just hop on a public bus,
or guaguas,

'and follow
the straightforward routes

'that link
the main towns and attractions.

'It's both easy and cheap.'

So, it's very, very different in
the north than it is to the south?

Exactly.

That's why all the hotels
are in the south...

Uh-huh.
..because it's more sunny.

Because, you know,
in the middle of Gran Canaria,

we have a big mountain...
Uh-huh. ..2,000 metres high,

so the clouds are stopping
in the mountains... Uh-huh.

..so the north could be like today,
a little bit cloudy. Mm.

But there's still lots to see
up here, yes?

To be honest, really,
we prefer to be in the north,

in the mountain,
in the countryside.

If you live in Gran Canaria, this is
real Gran Canaria for us. Yeah.

Between the north or the south,
it's another world.

So you have
the best of both worlds here?

That's what we think.

It's gorgeous.

'After a 55-minute drive,

'we're in the sleepy,
picturesque town of Firgas.

'Instantly,
the atmosphere feels different.

'The quiet streets are a world away
from beachy Maspalomas.

'I'm getting a real sense
of Gran Canaria's heart.'

So, here, you see...
Ah.

'And there's even a kind of
architectural tourist guide -

'the Paseo de Canarias,
or "walkway of the Canaries",

'which has steps
with mosaics and carvings

'telling you about
the islands in the archipelago.

'Better than a leaflet.'

And we're there now, Firgas?

So we came from the south...
Uh-huh.

..from all the way away
to the north, Firgas.

This is lovely,
how long has this been here?

It was built, er, 35 years ago...
Yeah?

..to celebrate the 500 years
of the foundation of the city.

So in 1988.

'Educational and lovely.

'But what Firgas is really famous
for is its natural spring water,

'which is sold
all over the Canaries.'

As you know...
Aw, this is lovely.

..the waterfall.

The spring water is honoured
by this beautiful waterfall

in the centre of town.

Yeah.
Yeah. Really...

'And it's really got to me.'

This is a lovely place, isn't it?
It's beautiful.

I like the sound of it.
Yeah, me too.

Mm.
It's refreshing.

Yeah.
Refreshing.

It is very refreshing.
Yeah, yeah.

Also makes you want to go
to the toilet. Yeah.

LAUGHTER

'Coming up...'
It's cold!

'I dive into Gran Canaria's
natural saltwater pools

'for the perfect way to cool off...'
Oh.

Oh, it's lovely, though.

'..before a cracking night out

'in one of Gran Canaria's
famous drag bars.'

Bang it on the table three times.

Guarantees you good sex.
Really?

LAUGHTER
It doesn't always work.

JANE MCDONALD: 'I'm travelling

'around the amazing archipelago
that is the Canary Islands.

'I docked at these stunning shores
back when I were on the cruises,

'but always had to keep an eye
on sailaway,

'so I missed the chance
to fully experience their delights.

'And I'm loving the opportunity
to really discover them with you.

'I'm currently living me best life
in Gran Canaria

'and uncovering
the island's hidden gems,

'with me guides Olivier and Fabien.

'I've travelled to
the quieter north of the island

'and the pretty town of Firgas,

'famous for its mosaics
and this waterfall.'

That's lovely.
This is also from 1988. Yeah.

'But it's not just
about looking pretty,

'as the aqua here has another job -
feeding the local watercress beds.

'One of the oldest
cultivated vegetables,

'it's been grown here for centuries.

'We just chuck this ancient
aquatic vegetable into a side salad,

'but here in Firgas,
it's the main meal,

'and as Olivier and Fabien

'want me to have the ultimate
local dining experience,

'they've brought me
to a rustic restaurant

'that calls itself
"a temple of watercress worship".

'I can only imagine how much
of the stuff they get through.'

So, everything we will have
is with watercress.

Do you like watercress?
Yes. If you don't like...

Yes.
..we have to go. No, no. We're OK.

Speciality here.
It's a speciality.

Hello.
Muchas gracias.

Yeah, and the water...
is coming from Firgas, from here.

Ah!
Yeah.

"Congas Firgas."

With gas.
Con gas is with gas.

OK, in Firgas?
BOTH: In Firgas.

LAUGHTER

'Our first dish is watercress soup,

'a traditional Canarian dish
often served at lunch.

'It's hearty,
comes served with a corncob

'and is made
from vegetable stock and beans

'and, of course, watercress.'

Like we say in Spanish,
"Buen provecho," enjoy your meal.

OK. Buen provecho.

It's watercress soup.
With corn for you. OK.

Watercress soup with corn.

It's really good. Always.
It tastes healthy.

We never disappointed here.
Mm. Never.

Do you like?
Mmm. Mm.

It's really good.
Mm. It's very thick.

'And to wash down
our watercress soup,

'well, the local sparkling variety,
of course...

'and I can't wait to taste it.'

Ooh, that's lovely, isn't it?
Yeah.

I know it sounds daft
cos it's just water...

A little bit like
a glass of champagne.

'This unique watercress-based menu
is served as tapas,

'meaning our dishes are served
when they're ready,

'with everything hitting the table
at different times.'

This is a deep-fried... watercress?
Croquette.

Everything is with watercress.
OK.

'I love tapas.
All those little dishes

'fooling me into thinking
I'm eating fewer calories.'

Delicious.

Croquetas.
Yeah.

'It's such a sociable meal

'as everyone gets to try
each other's choices,

'and you can easily tailor your menu
to what's in your wallets.'

The cheese - with watercress.

The mojo sauce -
with watercress, too.

The salad - with watercress.

Watercress.
Yeah. The bread...

Hang on... watercress bread?
This, I must try.

It's a very light green.

Something you probably have
on your bedroom wall.

That's how I can describe it.
It's a subtle green.

And I'm going in.

Mmm.

Very good.
You like it, yeah?

This is a really good way
to get some of your five a day.

You just put it in everything.
LAUGHTER

This is a really healthy meal
cos it's full of watercress...

which, of course,
is full of magnificence.

Mm. Oh, that's lovely.

'Well, taste buds treated,
it's time to move on

'and explore some more of north
Gran Canaria's national treasures.'

So, I'm going to some natural pools
now, yeah? Yeah.

I wish the water would not be
too cold.

I don't mind.
No?

It's supposed to be good for you,
isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

I've even started doing it
in the shower...

where I, erm, turn it to cold
at the end. Yeah?

So I think cold water's
quite good...

..until I get in it.
LAUGHTER

'Which I'm about to do
at one of these los charcones,

'or natural sea swimming pools,
at the island's northern tip.

'These hidden gems
are filled by the Atlantic,

'but the walls make for a tranquil,
calm, wave-free sea water swim.

'They're enjoyed by both locals
and tourists and are free to use,

'so you can bathe
to your heart's content.'

So, these are the pools?

Yeah, the, erm, municipality
help the nature. Yeah.

So they built a small wall
so you can go,

you can cross the wall...
Uh-huh.

..and go into another pool
on the other side. Great. OK!

'These Blue Flag pools offer
sunbathing terraces,

'restaurants and rest rooms -
thank heavens.

'At low tide, these see walls
lead you to rock pools and inlets,

'which are a little paradise
for curious kids.

'But do bring or buy water shoes,

'as the rocks can be
pretty sharp and slippery.

'Wish me luck.'

Right.
Let's go.

'This is the Atlantic, remember.'

It's cold!

BLOWS RASPBERRY

'Give me a moment,
I've lost me breath.'

Ooh!

Oh.

Oh, it's lovely, though.

EXHALES HEAVILY

And the temperature is just perfect.

There's fish in here and everything.
It's just lovely.

HE EXCLAIMS
Yoo-hoo.

LAUGHTER
Yoo-hoo, Oliver.

I've had the most wonderful day.

I've met Olivier and Fabien.

'And "fab"
is definitely what they are.'

I feel like I've made
friends for life there.

'Get yourself a good guide

'to take you round the secrets
of Gran Canaria.'

I would never have known about this
place, and the north is stunning.

Food is excellent.

Come and join us.

'What a perfect day -
discovering hidden Gran Canaria,

'accompanied
by two perfect gentlemen.

'And tonight, I'm going to explore

'a totally different side
to the island,

'as I'm getting me glad rags on

'for the drag show
I was invited to by Daisy Diamond.

'But I think I need a little pick-
me-up before I go off gallivanting.

'And this Sundowner
has my name all over it.

'I'm never knowingly underdressed
for a night out,

'but as Gran Canaria is famous
for its yearly drag queen festivals,

'I've gotta try and hold me own

'against the storm
of sequins coming my way.'

Looking forward to it.
I like a good old show.

That's part of your holiday,
as well, isn't it?

Food, sun, sangria
and entertainment, so, erm...

Got a little bit sunkissed today,
so I thought,

"Right, let's go for
a bit of a coral lip."

SMACKS LIPS
That's it!

'I'm meeting up with a new pal,
Becca, who I met at the pool.'

Hello, lovely! I'm good. Mwah. Mwah.

Yeah, shall we go?

'And just ten minutes
and ten euros in a cab later,

'we're at the bar
in Playa del Ingles.

'My guidebook tells me
many venues here are free entry.

'You just have to pay for your
drink, or, in our case, drinks.

'And there's table service, too.'

Ooh, lovely.

'Drinks at the table, drag on the
stage, only moving for the loo...'

Cheers.
'..my kind of night.

'Its popularity means
you might be sharing tables,

'which is a good thing,

'especially if Emma and Gillian,
the bar owners, come and join you.'

Hello! OK if we join you?
Yes, of course!

How are we, ladies?
Yeah, very well.

This is, er, very good.
What we on, sangria? Sangria, yeah.

Yeah, Lewis makes it quite well,
to be fair. Yeah.

So, it's rum?
Anything could be in it.

LAUGHTER
Yeah, don't have too many.

Haven't got the liver, duck!

'Ricky's is part
of the Yumbo Centre -

'the world's only
LGBTQ+ shopping centre.

'By day, it's a family-friendly
venue with shops and restaurants,

'but by the time the shows start
in the evening,

'well, let's just say
it's a little more adult.

'And like a moth to a flame,
I'm drawn to bugle beads,

'so I'm heading backstage
to meet the girls.

'Reckon they'd better hide that mic

'or I'll be minded to nick a frock
and do a turn.'

DRAG ARTISTS: Come in!

Hello!
Hi!

Oh, my God!

You all look so fabulous!

ALL TALK OVER
EACH OTHER

Well, I thought I'd better make
an effort.

LAUGHTER
Aw. Fabulous.

Better than the last time we met.
Oh... Oh!

Oh, my God.
Yeah.

See, I knew you were stalking me.
LAUGHTER

'Wow. It's one of our queens
from the beach.

'What a transformation.'

You all look fabulous.
I'm really looking forward to it.

Woo-hoo! It's gonna be a good night.

LAUGHTER
See ya!

ALL TALK OVER
EACH OTHER

Bye!

It's gonna be a great show.

SHE SQUEALS
Love it!

Good evening!
CHEERING

Right, ladies and gentlemen,
let's crack on.

Put your hands together
for the one and only Fahrenheit!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Our fabulous
Miss Janice Dickinyourson!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Miss Daisy Diamond!

'It's an evening of song parodies
with saucy lyrics

'and lots and LOTS of innuendo.'

All the way from Newcastle, Redcar

and every service station
via the A1...

LAUGHTER

Mm, she's very popular.

Er, she's a goodtime girl
that's been had by all,

and if you haven't,
please, be patient,

she'll get round to you.

It's a grown-up show,
but it's full of laughs,

and it's just a great night out.

Right, there we go, ladies.

One, two, three...

ALL: Happy holidays!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Bang it on the table three times...
guarantees you good sex.

Really?
Doesn't always work.

LAUGHTER

I'll have to bang it
more than three times.

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

'Well, if I don't want to be a drag

'and look half as good
as those queens tomorrow,

'it's time for me to hit the hay
for me beauty sleep.

'Coming up...'

Hi, there.
Hello.

'..I discover the amazing art
of sand sculpture...'

That's amazing!

'..before jumping on a jet ski

'for a totally different view
of the island.'

Whoo! Ha-ha!

Ooh, I'm doing wheelies!

JANE MCDONALD:
'I'm discovering the Canaries.

'I had whistle-stop trips here
back in me cruising days,

'but I wanted to come and
truly experience the archipelago,

'so I'm on an island-hopping
holiday,

'and Gran Canaria is where
I'm currently laying me sun hat.

'I'd like to see some more
of this incredible island

'and its spectacular coastline of
sweeping dunes and dramatic rocks,

'as I've heard the views
are breath-taking,

'and I've found a brilliant way
of exploring them from the ocean -

'a jet ski!

'Or as I like to call it,
a boat-orcycle.'

Excuse me, is this the queue
for the jet skis?

BOTH: Yes, it is.
Oh... Are you going on...?

We are, yeah. Looking forward
to it, yeah. Oh, lovely.

It's gonna be great.
I'm Jane, by the way.

Hiya, Jane, I'm Marcus. How are you?
Oh, nice to meet you.

I'm Marion.
Hello, Marion.

Nice to meet you, Jane.
Are you going on t'jet skis, Marion?

Yeah.
Nice, nice.

77.
Wow!

And getting on a jet ski.
Absolutely. That's brilliant.

Right, then, we'd best get our bus,
hadn't we?

Let's go. Lead the way.
Yeah, get on this bus.

BUS DRIVER: Everyone fine?
Very good, yeah.

Well, I'm glad I've got some pals
to go jet skiing with. Absolutely.

Do you come here a lot?

Been here about five times.
Love it, great place. Really?

What is it, then,
that keeps drawing you back?

The flight's not too long.
Mm.

Erm... Guaranteed the sunshine.

And that's pretty much it, really.
Yeah.

Well, I'm really pleased
you're coming jet skiing.

Looks fab, doesn't it?
Looks great, doesn't it?

JANE LAUGHS

Oh, look at us on mean machines.
Great.

Thank you.
INSTRUCTOR: You're welcome.

Thank you.

'Oh, hello, same old problem.'

LAUGHTER

I just need a bit more boob space.

The red button is the same
for start and stop.

Start and stop.
Yeah. Fine.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

It's dead easy.

You just press red button to start
and red button to stop.

Fantastic.

'Even I can manage that... and do!

'Cue the surf music, we're off!'

SURF MUSIC PLAYS
Whoo!

Oh, wow, this is fab!

SHE LAUGHS

Brilliant, isn't it?
SHE LAUGHS

Ooh, I'm doing wheelies.

'Whilst skiing around on the sea
is brilliant in itself,

'getting to look at the coast
from the ocean

'is the real reason
I've booked this.

'You really get a sense of scale

'and just how different
Gran Canaria is to Tenerife.'

You all right back there, Mum?
Yeah.

How are you doing, Marion?
Fine, yeah.

JANE SQUEALS,
LAUGHS

Now, look...

..age is but a number.

I've just seen Marion there.

If you wanna do it, do it.

We think we've got loads of time,
don't we? But we haven't.

And I'm doing everything
I possibly can now, while I can.

This is absolutely brilliant.

Best thing ever, and if Marion
can do it, then anybody can.

Whoo!
JANE LAUGHS

God love her, 77, doing jet skiing.

Whoo! Whoo!

That were great.
That's fantastic.

Oh, my God, I loved it.
Amazing.

Exhilarating.

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed it, Marion.
Loved it.

Oldest jet skier in the Canaries.

That was just the best thing ever.
Everything was just perfect.

The sun, the sea, the temperature...
Amazing. Brilliant.

..the excitement.
Loved it... Loved it.

It was... It was really fabulous.
Fantastic.

'Trying something new
on your holidays

'is what they are for, right?

'And forget your birth certificate.

'As Marion's proved, you're
never too old. Just go for it.

'Having seen a true expanse
of the sand from the ocean,

'I'm fascinated
by their shape-shifting ways.

'And you might think these dunes

'sweeping a thousand acres
down to the sea in Maspalomas

'were blown across from the Sahara,
but, oh, no.

'Me guidebook tells me the sand
has come from a lot further away,

'like millions of years away.

'It actually washed up
from the bottom of the ocean,

'when the water retreated
after the last ice age,

'around 11,700 years ago.

'It makes me feel positively young.

'The dunes
are a protected nature reserve,

'with at least 259 sunny days
a year,

'which might explain why there are
so many nudist beaches here,

'so I'd better watch out
for naked bodies,

'including, it seems, me own.'

Hi, there. Hello.
Hello. How are you?

I'm very well. That... Erm...

That looks... like me.

Yes, because I heard
that you are on holiday here.

That is me?!
Yes.

Wow! I like what you've done.

I've got no fat there.
SHE LAUGHS

That's amazing! Thank you.
Sorry, what's your name?

Thank you. My name is Abel.

Nice to meet you, Abel.
I heard about you.

And I love how you've got
all me hair. I like... Wow.

I was working on that...
Yeah. ..for quite a while.

SHE LAUGHS
Fantastic!

'Abel is one of several
incredibly talented people

'you'll find crafting
spectacular sand sculptures

'along the Maspalomas beach.'

How long have you been here?
I've been here since 2007.

Oh, wow.

'Sixteen years!
I'm not that hard to sculpt, am I?'

Can I help?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah?
You want me to show you some tricks?

Yes, that'd be lovely.

You just have to go, like,
a few times, two, three times.

It gets a... A groove?
Yeah.

All right.
And something like that.

I hope I don't spoil it.
Don't worry...

Don't worry - it's sand.
OK.

So... I'm going to... Parallel.

So I just... Your finger
is one of the best tools.

Yeah... I agree.
Do you see?

Oh, yeah.

Not too bad.
Is that OK?

Yeah, I think so.
OK.

And then this one?
Uh-huh.

How long did this take?
It took something like five hours.

Oh, my goodness.
But I was in a hurry.

THEY LAUGH

It's... It's amazing.

Very good likeness...
Very good likeness.

Thank you... Thank you.
Yeah.

I should sign it for you.
I would appreciate that. OK.

There we go.
All right.

Look at that! I'm so honoured.
I'm a mermaid!

'Well, I may not be
the littlest of mermaids,

'but I am honoured to have been
immortalised in sand.

'Until the next high tide,
any road.'

Thank you so, so much.
Me too. It was a great pleasure.

Lovely to meet you, Abel.

Nice to meet you.
Thank you for coming.

Keep up the good work...
Keep up. Thank you.

'All that walking
has fired up my appetite.

'Luckily, staying all-inclusive

'means the chance
to try lots of different dishes

'without worrying about your wallet.

'Plus, if you're a solo traveller,

'you're bound to meet
a friendly face at the pool or bar,

'meaning you don't have to eat alone
if you don't want to.

'I got chatting to fellow guest Lisa
over a cocktail.

'And tonight, we're meeting
for a Gran Canarian feast.'

Hiya, love.
Hello. How are you?

I'm good. How are you?
Aww, brilliant.

Have you got a table?
Have you had a good day? Yeah.

Yeah, I have, over there.
A bottle of wine chilling.

JANE GASPS
I'm loving your work already.

'I just knew Lisa
were a girl after me own heart

'the second I set eyes on her.'

There you go.
I like a bit of that.

A nice selection of salads.
Yeah.

Nice, fresh. I should eat
a little bit more salad, actually.

A little bit of guacamole.

And it's very good for you
cos it's avocado, isn't it?

Absolutely, grown in Gran Canaria.
Really?!

Yeah.
That's brilliant.

I never knew you got avocados
in Gran Canaria. Yeah, yeah.

Lots of local produce.
Yeah.

Shall we have a little bit of meat?
Yeah. Let's go for the meat.

How do you like it? Medium?
Medium.

I don't like it when you can send it
back and revive it. No, exactly.

We'll have to make room
on our plates for this. I think so.

You always eat a lot more,
don't you, when it's a buffet? Yeah.

But we're allowed.
Well, we are...

That's holidays.
..because that salad, as well.

Are you listening to this?

If you fill it up with salad,
it doesn't count.

LISA LAUGHS
And then you just get...

Then you've had
a right big plateful,

so always get to salad bit first.

And then you can come back
for the second plate.

Correct. I love her.

And leave a bit of room for dessert.
Oh, God, yeah.

It smells delicious.
Right, come on. Here we go.

I love a buffet because...

The first thing is
cos you can go back for more,

but secondly, it's cos you can pick
exactly what you want

and the amount you want.

People do overdo it.

I do all the time cos I think,

"I like that, I like that.
Ooh, I'll have that."

When you've got a friend with you,
like lovely Lisa...

..try different things
because this is what we all do -

we all stick to the same thing.

We all stick to what we like,
but sometimes, we can try something,

and it's really, one, good for you,
and, two, delicious.

Cheers.
Cheers.

Thank you so much for this.
This is lovely. Aww, thank you.

They say you should eat
an avocado a day, really.

Do they?
Mm.

It depends what sort of diet
you're on, I think.

Well, that's true, yeah.
No wonder I'm putting weight on.

'Coming up, I head
to Puerto de Mogan markets

'for a smoothie full
of a surprising local ingredient...'

This has got cactus,
which I've never had before.

'..before trying out

'one of Gran Canaria's
eight magnificent golf courses,

'although I may as well
have played on the beach.'

I'm in bunker.

JANE MCDONALD: 'Welcome back
to our Gran Canarian adventure.

'With so much
for us to discover here,

'let's get cracking
with our next jaunt.'

I'm on me way to Puerto Mogan.

And on certain days,
they have market day.

Guess what.

Today is one of 'em. Whoo!

'The pretty fishing village
of Puerto de Mogan

'on Gran Canaria's south-west coast

'is also known as the Little Venice
of the Canary Islands

'on account of its small canals
and bridges.

'Here, fishing boats
bob alongside yachts,

'and the pedestrianised streets

'are lined
with beautifully coloured gardens.'

It looks beautiful!
This does look quite vibrant.

You see, if I was coming back here,
I'd probably come here.

You've got to find
whatever suits you,

and this looks like
it suits me a lot.

It's got a village-type feel.

I love a market.

'The market here is the largest
in the south of Gran Canaria

'and is on every Friday,
starting around 8:30.

'It's popular on market day,

'full of people browsing,
bargaining and brunching,

'so come early
if you want to avoid the crowds.'

Gracias.

'You'll find plenty
of Canarian souvenirs...'

Aww, dream catchers.

'..but, oh, the food... the food!'

There's a huge variety,

so me advice
is to get stuck right in.

Have a nice day, a nice holiday.
Thank you very much. Thank you.

Hi. Hola.
Hello. How are you?

Very good, you?
Very well, thank you.

Right, could I have one of these?

Yes. This is strawberry with banana,
cactus fruits and guava. Right.

It's very good smelling.
So this tastes good?

Yeah, yeah, really.
Mmm. OK, let's have a go.

It's all fruit from my own farm.
Mmm! All fruits.

Ooh, that's lovely.
Do you like it?

Very much so. Thank you.
Thank you very much.

I wish you a nice day
and nice holidays.

And this is gonna be healthy
for me, yeah?

Totally. Look at my hairs.
SHE LAUGHS

Oh, gracias.
Thank you... Thank you.

Cheers. It's lovely.

Mm... It's delicious,
and you can tell it's fresh.

This has got guava in it,
cactus, which have never had before,

and a bit of strawberry.

It's lovely. All from his own farm,
apparently, so there you are.

Now, this is really good for you,
aloe vera. You can grow it.

I've got a little plant
in my house, you know?

Well, it's quite big now,

but I just don't know
what to do with it.

'The Canaries' climate
and volcanic soil

'means it's perfect
for growing aloe vera,

'some of the world's best,
apparently.

'And the poster is selling it.

'Right, it says it's good
for face care, wrinkles - tick -

'sun filter, deodorant, massage,
face mask, stretchmarks.'

Hola. That's the best one?
That's the best one.

Uh-huh?
Aloe vera gel.

Yeah, it's best for everything.
Does it help with all that?

One product for all these things
at the same time. That's it.

Really?!
That's... Yeah.

Well, I'd better take some,
then, hadn't I?

That's it, yeah.
I'll take some, yeah.

'I've planned a visit
to an aloe vera farm

'on me next island stop
of Fuerteventura,

'but happen, if I buy some now,
I can get a head start

'on the anti-ageing, and I'll look
like a newborn come Christmas.'

I'm gonna have skin
like a baby soon.

All me wrinkles'll have fallen out.

All me little scratches
and burns, all gone.

Feels good...
Feels really good on the skin.

Aw, you what?

Gracias.
Muchas gracias.

And that's the information

about your things
and the rest of the things.

Lovely. Thank you very, very much.
Thank you. Enjoy your time.

And be healthy,
the most important thing.

Absolutely, that is the most
important thing. That's true.

Gracias.
OK, bye.

Bye.
Thank you.

My skin his singing,
but me stomach's grumbling,

so let's shut it up.

Hola, hello.
Hello.

Are these almond?
Oh, but this is just almond...

Just almond?
..manzana. Almond with manzana.

'That's apples to you and me.'

Right, I'll have one of those.

Yes? Of course. Yes.
To take it away, or you eat it now?

No, I'm gonna eat it now.
On the way?

Yeah, that's fine.
OK, I'll give it to you.

'These perfect little pastries
are made with local almonds,

'and if you come in January,

'you'll see the almond blossoms
in bloom.'

How long have you been here?

I make here, 25 years ago, holidays,

and I meet my wife,
and she's from here.

Ahh!
I was thinking, "Her in my future."

Love... Absolutely love, every time.
Love make it, absolutely.

Now we make everything,
just my wife and me. Yeah?

And everything like in the old time.
Aww.

All same, the recipes,
no chemicals, nada. Nothing?

Nothing, just like
my grandfather worked.

Perfect.
You will see when you try.

I know.
HE LAUGHS

The secret ingredient in this
is love,

love of a country
that he's moved to for 25 years,

and he loves it.

Him and his wife
make all this themselves.

It's got apples, it's got almonds,

and it's got love,
and it's delicious.

'Now, I know Mark Twain said
golf were a good walk ruined,

'but the 60-odd million people
taking part in the sport worldwide

'can't all be wrong,

'and since Gran Canaria's courses
are famous,

'and, crucially,
very close to my hotel,

'I'd better take up the opportunity
for a lesson.

'But when the time arrives,
I get a crisis of confidence.'

Right.

Oh, dear. It seemed
like a good idea, didn't it?

You are play here.
OK.

Inside. Inside.
Not the front. Front, no.

No?
Two metre.

Yeah, it's possible.
OK. And here.

'Golf pro Angel

'is on hand to make sure
I don't take an eye out.'

Closer?
Bend your knee... Bend... Bend.

OK.
Correct.

Like that?
Turn, and up there.

Right, up?
Oh, yeah, perfect.

And through.
Yeah, oh.

And then like that?
Perfecto.

OK!
Good finish.

Good finish?
Like that, yeah.

'At this rate, I won't make
a birdie, but I might hit one.'

Perfect.
Yeah?

Good shot.
Good.

It's just the wrong way.

'Gran Canaria's eight courses

'are considered
some of the best in Spain,

'but earlier, well I rather enjoyed
walking in the sand dunes,

'here,
sand is an unwelcome destination.'

SHE LAUGHS
Oh, no. I'm in bunker.

SHE SUCKS HER TEETH

About there?

Oh, no. Still in bunker.
SHE SIGHS

I'm still in the bunker!
I'm gonna get this out, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good, good.
SHE LAUGHS

Perfecta!
Oh.

That's a good shot. That's good.
I'm out of the bunker.

Yeah, good. Look at that, Jane.
The club here, Jane, here.

Clean... Clean there.
Clean?

Oh, I have to clean me...
Yeah, clean the club.

Oh, that's another reason
why you don't wanna go in bunker.

Cos you need to clean...
And there for the ball, to clean.

Oh, you get clean balls, as well.
That's nice.

And then here.
Oh, look at this.

Yeah, I know. You've got
everything here, haven't you?

'No prizes for getting
out of the bunker, though.

'It's the hole that counts.'

OK.

Nah.

It's hard, this bit.

'This is the one.'

Good putt. Ooh...
Ooh.

'No... this is the one!'

THEY LAUGH

Yeah, OK.
I'm in eventually.

Only took 55 goes.

All right.

'OK, so I may not be much
at putting,

'but I can still sink a few
in the 19th hole,

'if you get me meaning.

'And that seems the perfect place

'to wrap up this part
of my Canarian adventure.

'I've had a fabulous time
here in Gran Canaria.

'It's a very welcoming island.'

Gracias.
Thank you.

'It's full of lively locals,
and sunny sand dunes,

'and full of fabulous,
fun things to do.'

Not too bad.
Is that OK?

'I've got sand in all me bits...'

It's amazing.

'..took a shot
at improving me love life...'

Bang it on the table three times,
it guarantees you good sex.

I'll have to bang it
more than three times.

'..and went OTT with an OAP...

'..and I've loved
every single minute of it.'

Cheers.
Cheers.

But time and tide
waits for no Jane,

so it's time to jump in the jeep
and head off to the port.

Fuerteventura, here we come!