All language subtitles for The Irrational S01E08 720p WEB h264-EDITH

- People are irrational
but predictably so.

I'm Alec Mercer. Welcome
to Applied Psychology.

- You're the science guy.
- That's Bill Nye.

I'm actually the
behavioral science guy.

- After 19 years, the FBI is
officially reopening the case.

Wes made the bomb.
Peter planted the bomb.

But this third guy,
Matthias, was behind it all.

The bomber met Matthias
in an online chat room.

- Who is Rose?

- Another client emergency.

- Mm.

- I'm off to Paris.

- I am a yes to
the dean's brunch,

a no to TED Talks.

And, oh, call
Cuban's people back

and just tell them...
I'm too slammed.

Oh, finally, if
you want feedback

on your Fesmekker
Grant proposals,

in hopes that one of you
will be the pride of Wylton,

I need them by lunch tomorrow.

- Check your desk.
- Teacher's pet.

Rizwan, how's yours?

- It's great, only,
point of order,

given I'm still newish.

Since the Fesmekker Endowment
doesn't need our proposals

for over a month,
wouldn't it be a bit early

to show them to you?

- If they were due in
a month, it would be.

- But they're due in 48 hours.

- 48 hours? No.

Yes?

No. How did I mess that up?

I really wanted to win.

Last night, I even landed on
the experiment I'm gonna run.

- Yeah, it's OK.
Mistakes happen.

Maybe you'll learn something
from this negative feeling.

- There it is,
Fesmekker Proposal due.

One month, 48 hours from now.

I am so paying to
upgrade my calendar app.

I'll never get
this done in time.

Professor
Mercer's office.

Dr. Choi.

- Oh.

Dr. Choi.

- Who's Dr. Choi?

- His burn specialist.

- It's about his burns?

- No, most likely, it's
about someone else's.

- Thanks for coming
all the way here.

I know it's a long drive
out to the boonies.

- How severe are her burns?

- I'd say "you"
severe, give or take.

Plus, she lost someone.

Thought you might be
able to do your thing.

- You want me to give her

the "it's gonna be
all right" speech.

- She's gonna need any piece
of hope we can give her.

Izzy, this is my old friend
and patient Dr. Alec Mercer.

- Doctor as in
minds, not bodies.

It's nice to meet you, Izzy.

- So you're the one who's
gonna make everything OK, huh?

- That's the plan.

By the time I leave here,

it'll be like I
waved a magic wand.

You mind if we get
real for a minute?

First, I'm sorry for
what happened to you,

your boyfriend.

I understand he didn't make it.

I had a similar thing happen
to me a long time ago.

I had up to fifth-degree
burns on 60% of me.

- Got a couple sixes.

It's, like, to the bone.

- Ouch.

The point is, I survived.

You will too.

Plus, since that bomb got me,

the care's gotten
20 years better.

If you can, feel.

Your scars won't have
to feel like this,

and that's just one example.

You can come through
this with a good life.

- I don't deserve to.

I did this.

It's my fault Chris is dead.

You want to tell
me what happened?

- Me and Chris, we
were supposed to go

to some dumb house party.

But I was all, let's
go be alone somewhere,

which is pretty much
impossible in this town,

where everyone knows everyone.

But Mr. Rixton died, and that
house was sitting there empty

while they were fixing it up.

We got in.

I lit some candles.

I don't know, we must
have... must have

knocked one over,
'cause next I knew...

I killed Chris.

It was that drink I spilled.

It must have hit
one of the candles,

and that's how the
room went up so fast.

Except there
wasn't nearly enough alcohol

in your vodka soda
to catch flame.

- I don't... I
don't understand.

- You said the fire
blasted up from the floor.

Did you tell the
authorities that?

- No, I said it was the candles,

that it was my fault.

- Of course you did.

With a trauma like yours,

the mind wants to regain
some sense of control,

power over an
uncontrollable world.

I think that's why
you're feeling so guilty.

Your mind wants to tell a story
that at least makes sense,

so it's blaming
you for the fire.

- So are you saying
I didn't do this?

- I'm not sure
what happened here,

but I do know a little
bit more than I'd like to

about how fire behaves.

And this...

this doesn't add up.

- You're worried
there's a crime here?

- That's what you can
help me figure out.

There is a chance that
my empathy for Izzy

is skewing my point of view.

Plus, since I never got
closure in my bombing,

it's possible I've got
a touch of patternicity.

- Patternicity, that's
minds making connections

that aren't really there.

- Conspiracy theories

are partly built
on the phenomenon.

- Maybe we should look
at the physical evidence

they sent over.

- Says here the gas
and power were off.

And the accelerant was paraffin.

- Could point to
Izzy's candles, but...

if it started on the main
floor, like she said...

- Fire spreads out and up.

But look at the upper story.

It's nearly untouched
versus the basement,

which looks like...

- My old charcoal grill.

That's why the fire shot up
through the floor at them.

It must have started down below.

- Poor Izzy.

- Paraffin could
also be camp fuel.

I think it was poured out
and lit in the basement.

- That'd be arson, then.

- And since Chris died,

that would also
make it a homicide.

- Sorry about the...

everything.

Puck County'S been renovating
the old municipal building

for two years, so we've
learned to walk sideways.

That is, when
my... boss is here.

- Who's also your dad, right?

You hesitated on "boss,"

and this guy here at
the Nirvana concert

looks like you but
with different hair.

- Yeah, that's Dad.

Fires are the family biz.

I only moved from fighting
to investigating them

six months ago,
which is no excuse.

My dad was unreachable
on a scuba trip,

so I handled Izzy's fire.

Her candle story
seemed straightforward.

- Room for one more?

- Marisa, thanks for coming.

Deputy Fire Marshal
Ford, this is...

- Special Agent Marisa Clark.

- Please call me Tyler.

- I'm with the FBI.
- FBI?

How much trouble am I in?

- You're not in
any trouble, Tyler.

The bureau consults on
arsons all the time,

and I've opened this case as
an official arson homicide.

- So you did agree with my take.

- Mm-hmm.

That said, it does help
when local authorities

ask for the bureau's
support, kind of how you

have to invite a
vampire into your house.

- I clearly need all
the help I can get.

I still want to fix it.

So before you guys got here,
I reexamined the scene.

Izzy's candles didn't
start the fire.

They were soy-based.

I made a bad assumption,
given the paraffin residue

that I found around the house.

- So we were right
about the accelerant?

- Yeah, there was a heavy
debris pile in the basement.

The floor underneath was
soaked with liquid paraffin.

I'm sure you guys are
five steps ahead of me.

But anytime I've
seen arson, it's been

the owner chasing
insurance money.

- No, it's a good point.

Izzy said the
house's owner died.

Any idea who inherited it?

- That'd be the Rixton sisters.

- I admit I felt real anger
towards Izzy and Chris,

and I know they paid
a horrible price.

I rounded in the burn unit
on my surgical residency.

But I had thought
that this was on them

for busting into
our dead father's...

our house.

But if it's arson...
- They weren't at fault.

I'm sure this is an emotionally
confusing time for you.

- If it wasn't
their fault, then...

I told you this was on me.

- Molly, you have
to let that go.

- Why would you blame yourself?

- Because it was me

living in that house
for the last five years.

Dad had late-stage Parkinson's.

Caring for him was
an all-hours job.

So when the fire
code got updated,

I punted on making
the required upgrades,

like sprinklers.

And... and maybe if they
had been in there, then...

- Caroline, what the hell?

You said someone else
wanted to talk to us,

not the flipping' Men in Black.

- You must be Anna.

Special Agent Clark, FBI.

Dr. Mercer consulting.

- I'm confused.

Izzy and Chris burned
down the house.

- Actually, we
believe it was arson.

And as a matter of
course, we have to ask

about the insurance money.

- Well, that's easy.

There is none.

- Assessor had the value of
the home pegged at $600,000?

- True. But it
wasn't insurable.

- We get a lot of wildfires.

Insurance wouldn't cover us
until we got the upgrades,

which is never gonna happen now.

- Dad wanted it split evenly.

We couldn't all live there.

So it made sense to sell.

- Of course, we'll only
get land value now.

With a three-way split, we each
lost a big chunk of change.

Awesome.
- Then I'll throw it to you.

Any idea who might
have burned your house?

- A couple weeks ago, I
found a spent campfire

in the basement, a squatter.

Then some local teens
got in one night.

They threw a party.

It could be someone came back,

set the fire by
accident or maybe...

- Anna, I'm pretty good at
reading micro-expressions.

When she said "teens,"
your lower lip tensed.

That's anger.

Do you suspect someone?

- No, I'm good.

Fine.

Have you looked
into Kat Schmitt?

She's Chris' ex.

I was working a couple
weeks back at my diner

when she and him got into it.

- What about?

- Chris dumping her for Izzy.

Clearly, she's not over it,

since she kind of
threatened to kill him.

- I bring sustenance...
and orders.

The professor needs us to
check Kat Schmitt's socials.

He called them "the Insta."

- Yeah, looking for
threats, boasts,

anything that links to the fire.

He called me too.

Did you let mayo
touch this bread?

- You know, some
theorize food aversions,

like your little mayo
thing, can be overcome

by slowly adding those
foods into your diet.

- So interesting.

Maybe you should write your
grant proposal on that.

Oh, wait, you already did.

- You read my grant proposal?
- Oh, come on.

You tried to use
me as a guinea pig.

- No I didn't. I
mean, I guess I did.

But I wasn't thinking
of it that way.

So dare I ask, how was it?

- I'd say, given the
rush, it was solid.

- Solid?

Oh, no.
- What?

Solid is solid.

Seriously, come on. Let's
check out that Insta.

- Hey, stop!

- There's another
one? What the hell?

FBI! Stop!
- Come on.

Don't move.

I said don't move.

- Wait a sec. Kat?

- Who's your blonde friend?

Eat it, pig!

All cops are bastards!

- So am I going to jail or what?

- Well, yeah, Kat. You
just assaulted a fed.

- Maybe worse.

We're still trying to
decide where to book you,

here with the cops or
in D.C. with the FBI.

- My vote's FBI all day.

- D.C.'s a long drive.

You'd prefer two hours
in those zip ties

over a five-minute
trip to the cops?

You don't want the local
authorities involved,

and I think I know why.

You created a distraction

so that that other young
woman could get away.

You were protecting
someone you cared about.

The other girl, the blonde...

she's your
girlfriend, isn't she?

- Wait, is that why you've
been showing up in the stands

at lacrosse games?

You're dating Dara Deacons?

- Tyler, shut up.

Please, you cannot tell
anybody that Dara's gay.

OK, if her parents find out,

she's gonna get kicked
out of the house.

- Dara's secret is safe with us,

but you've been ranting

about how you want
Chris and Izzy dead.

That fire has made half
your wish come true.

- What? Chris and
Izzy are my...

were my friends.

OK, truth...

Chris didn't dump me.

I broke up with him
when Dara happened,

but we stayed friends.

And it was, like,
totally his idea

that I troll him online like
some crazy ex-girlfriend,

you know, so that
no one would suspect

that Dara and I were a thing.

- Dara's family is
super traditional.

Makes sense.

- You ask me, I think some pyro

just wanted to torch the place.

This
mess is not gonna help

your houseguest user rating.

- Sorry. Izzy hit a big low.

She got her first
look in a mirror.

So I pulled some newer
burn and stem cell studies

from our med library
to share with her.

- Is this good for you,

seeing how much better
they can do for Izzy

than they did for you?

- Maybe not, but
it's not about me.

- You look stressed,

and we don't want you falling
prey to compassion fatigue.

- Nice use of
"compassion fatigue."

- You know, those first
weeks after the bomb,

we practically lived
in the burn unit.

But you were so...

I'm not sure anything
I did or said helped.

I feel like I let
you down, failed.

- Sis, you in no way failed me.

If I had to face that alone,

I don't know if
I'd be here at all.

So proof.

But with Izzy, what's the
point of going through all that

if I can't do more?

I need to find a way
to give her hope.

I just don't know how.

- No, Chris and I
didn't tell anyone

where we were going that night.

- Because you wanted
some alone time?

- To make things dumber,
we parked up a side road

and walked into the
house to guarantee

the horror movie ending.

So there's no way you could
imagine someone followed you?

- Far as I know, our
only stalker was Kat.

And that was fake,
like she said.

- That was admirable,
by the way.

You're a good friend.

- Did you tell her that?

Did she tell you why she
hasn't come to see me?

- Well, we had her preoccupied.

But now that her story's
clear, I'm happy to.

- It's just, I don't get it.

Like, where is everybody?

A handful of my friends
came right away for, like,

ten minutes, and that was it.

- People have a natural tendency

to exhibit
disease-avoidant behavior,

even with something like burns.

But give it time.

Listen, when I was
in a world of hurt,

one thing that helped was

working to catch
whoever did that to me.

So you maybe want to keep
going over this stuff?

- Excuse us.

We're gonna need to borrow
the amazing Ms. Coldby.

- Oh, bandage change, right?

I'll come back afterwards.

- Hey, you see Kat,
tell her don't come.

I don't want to see her.

- OK.

- Hey.
- Caroline, hey.

- Is it true?
You arrested Kat?

She was released.

We don't think she did it.

- Released... fantastic.

Oh, don't get me wrong.

I can sleep just
fine with or without

someone's head on a spike.

- I get the sense
that something's

been keeping you up.
- The estate.

The sooner we're allowed
to clear the rubble,

the sooner we can sell.

We're not gonna get much,
but it'll be worth it

to finally move
on from all this.

- In other words, someone
could get this land

for less than it's worth.

- You think that
could be the motive?

- They'd need to know
about the insurance lapse.

- Well, you met
Anna... no filter.

She probably told
everyone in the county.

You know, there was this
one thing my dad told me.

A local church dogged
him a while back

about selling to them.

They wanted to build a big
retreat center on the land.

- Do you know which one?

- The Presbyterian on 2nd.

They were super aggressive.

- I told Reverend Snyder,
leave the man alone.

He's sick.

- So it was Reverend Snyder who
was pushing to buy the land?

- Mm-hmm.

- And how'd he
take the rejection?

- He was sore until I found him

this parcel of land
a few towns over.

Just put the foundation in for
the retreat center last week.

- So no need to resort to arson.

Heavens, no.

Not that he ever would.

By any chance, are you
aware of the situation

with the unhoused?
- No, why?

- We've had some issues,
fires getting out of hand.

Last one was a few months ago.

Burned the Riveras' stable.

It's right by the
local unhoused camp.

Six horses died.

- Do you know if anyone specific

was seen setting fires?

- Sorry, wish I could help more.

All I know is what I've heard

from our Mercy
Meadow volunteers.

- Mercy Meadow?

- They're a multi-church
community outreach group,

do a lot of work
with the unhoused.

I can get you their card.

- That would be helpful.

Thank you.

This is Jace. I
should take it.

What's the latest on
the Wes Banning case?

Did Cyber finally deliver?
- Oh, yeah.

Headline is, over
a few short days,

Matthias systematically
chipped away

Peter Shelby's reservations

and convinced him
to set that bomb.

- So Matthias was driving the
train on the whole damn plot.

- The guy was careful, too,

broke the talks up over
multiple chat rooms.

- If we're right and
Matthias was the one

who scared Wes Banning
at his parole hearing...

- At the least, Wes
can describe the guy.

- Thanks, Jace.

Got to go.

- Did I hear "Wes Banning"?
- It's been confirmed.

Matthias is our mastermind.

I'm hoping, now that
I have more ammo,

Wes will see his
only... play is...

Another fire?

- Make that two fires.

- And a third.

Liquid paraffin.

Makes three for three.

Thankfully, no casualties.

- Same as the scrapyard and
that railroad outbuilding.

If we're dealing with
a serial arsonist,

they've gone hot.

- That church secretary
sent a location

on the local
unhoused encampment.

- Center of the fire triangle.

- Guess we go check
out that camp?

- I might have a better idea.

- You're welcome.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

- Well, I appreciate it.

- What are you up to?

You think I can't see you
with your case face on,

floating questions with that
soothing voice of yours?

- Soothing? I'm touched.

- I'm serious.

You said this was
a day of outreach.

I even got my boy Spiro

to discount the food
for Mercy Meadow.

Fess up.

Are you manipulating
these folks?

- Is that what it looks like?
- Yes.

- I can see how it
might be mistaken

for a reciprocity play,

giving in hopes of getting back.

You're right.

Thank you.

Excuse me, folks.

I've been made aware
that it might look like

there's a catch here,
that we're only here

to get you to answer questions.

The truth is, we are
looking for an arsonist.

And we would like you to share.

I just thought we
should earn the right

to take up your time.

Either way, thank you.

And dinner is on us.

Hey.

- Look at you, feeding
people and pets.

- I get you have no
reason to trust me,

but there's a girl
that's going through hell

with burns like mine.

And word is, your community

might have a problem with fire.

- What's that got to do with me?

- The church told every
other person with an animal

to eat outside, but they let
you and your friend right in.

Clearly, you have
sway with this group.

- So you want me to tell you

which one of us crazies
is your firebug?

- I bring no judgments.

After I was burned,
I volunteered

with a lot of people
in hard circumstances,

and they never made
me feel judged.

I'm Alec, by the way.

- They call me King.

Look, you're wrong
about one thing.

Folks around here, they don't
have a problem with fires.

We had a problem with Pinter.

- Who's Pinter?

- He's a dark seed,
hates everyone,

beats on animals.

Only people he'd talk to
were them church ladies.

Guess what he likes.

Fires and matches.

Guy was obsessed with matches.

That's why this camp, we
booted his scrawny ass.

- Any idea where he went since?

- He lives in a leaky old
RV, parks on the back roads.

Can't miss it.

- Whatever Pinter might
have done in life,

no one deserves to go like this.

- Fire started here.

Looks like Pinter
was burning some rags

when he knocked over a
jug of liquid paraffin.

- And ignited a few other jugs.

- It all points to him
as our fire starter,

but it's too neat.

Even if he couldn't
get to the door,

there would have
been a window here

big enough to squeeze through.

Then there's this.

- His burn pit.

- Guy's careful enough
to set up a fire break

but accidentally
lights up his own van?

- Alec, did King say that Pinter

starts his fires with a lighter?

- No, matches,
specifically matches,

which is no small thing.

With pyromaniacs like Pinter,

the specific tools they
use to start the fires

can become an inseparable
part of the compulsion.

- I think this
lighter was planted,

and there's empty liquor
bottles next to the body.

- Could be he's passed out drunk

when the real
arsonist showed up,

lit some rags, dumped the jug.

- And staged his death, which
means that Pinter was framed.

- Chris' death might
have been an accident.

The arsonist might
not have known

that Chris and Izzy
were there, but this...

this was straight-up murder.

- Who benefits?

- That is the question.

The FBI techs
combed Pinter's van.

There were no prints.

There were no tire tracks.

Place was wiped clean.

- FBI's still looking into
liquid paraffin purchases.

But in camp areas
like Puck County,

lots of folks stock up on it.

We ask again, who benefits?

- I can tell you one
person who benefits...

because she won the
Fesmekker Grant, that is.

Phoebe.
- Oh, my God.

They just announced?
- Yeah.

- Amazing.

I had every confidence.
- Thank you.

- And happily, Phoebe's
not the only person

who benefits today.

I had a chance to look
through Mr. Asadi's proposal.

- Wait, I mean, you did?

- Your central premise is great.

Rookie mistakes in structure.

Tell you what.

If you're up for some revisions,

I will fund your work through
the "Alec Mercer Endowment."

- Is this serious?

- Do you want me to be joking?

- No, no, just, I
can't believe it.

Thank you.

- You got a minute?

I couldn't help but sense
that my offer to Rizwan

didn't land well with you.

What? No, it's
great.

- I didn't mean to
steal your thunder.

Winning Fesmekker is big.

I'm so very proud of you.

- Thanks.

I appreciate that.

It's just...

I worked so
hard for that prize.

Makes me feel like...

- You didn't need
to do any of that?

- I know it's petty
and irrational.

And I really like Rizwan

and want to be happy
for him, but...

Not everybody who plays
should get a trophy, you know?

- Doesn't feel fair.

What?

- Phoebe, I'm sorry. I
hate to do this to you.

But can we pause for a second?

Because your very valid feelings

may be the key to us
finding this arsonist

before they strike again.

Cui bono... who benefits...

that's the wrong
question for this case

because no one benefits.

The right question
to ask is, cui malo?

- Who was harmed?

- We've been looking at the
house itself as the target.

Since no one benefited
from its burning,

we've turned to asking who
that would have hurt most.

- That would be you three.

Is there anyone that
you can think of

that would want to
make you suffer?

- Maybe my ex. He's
not a good guy.

- Lord, it's not Aaron.

He's in Maui on some bro
trip, posting nonstop.

- Wait, you didn't unfriend him?

- Caroline, you said you
agreed to sell after the fire,

implying you disagreed before.

What did you disagree over?

- What to do with it.

Anna had the wild idea
to convert it into a B&B,

and Molly wanted to live there
and open an animal refuge.

- Rescue.

It's been a dream for years,

but I had to put
it on hold for Dad.

- Course, neither
my pick or Molly's

could happen without
those upgrades.

But sawbones here
wouldn't pony up for those

until we called a realtor.

- Because selling and
splitting the money

was the only fair move.

- And how did that
make you feel?

- Pissed, obviously.

I mean, she doesn't...
- Anna.

I don't know what this is,

but we're not continuing
without a lawyer.

- Mm-hmm.

- You clearly think
one of them did it.

Which one?

- It depends.

- That's a Mercy
Meadows sticker.

- Whose car is this?

- That car is Molly's.

It's her.

- Just got off
with Mercy Meadow.

Molly knew Pinter.

She volunteered with him,
teamed up with a social worker

to help Pinter
stop setting fires.

But when that horse
stable burned down,

she physically attacked the guy

for murdering innocent animals.

She always seemed
so even-keeled.

- Everybody's got
a breaking point.

Pinter with his
cruelty to animals...

he must have felt like the
morally tolerable option

to scapegoat and kill.

- And a convenient one.

After spending all
that time with him,

Molly must have
thought that she saw

enough details of his
fire setting to frame him.

- That tracks.

But the first fire...
I don't understand

why she would do that to
her sisters or herself.

- Mm.

Marisa?
- Hmm.

- I want you to divide this...

$500 between you and
Tyler, any way you like.

If he accepts your proposal,
you each keep your share.

If he rejects it, I keep it.

- Seriously?
- Mm.

- 500 bucks?
- Yes.

- All right, I'm game.

- 20 bucks sound good to you?

- 20 bucks?
- Mm.

- 2-0 and you get 480?

- Mm.

- Is that your final answer?

- Mm-hmm.

- Then you keep it.

Burn it, for all I care.

Exactly.

Humans have an innate
fairness instinct.

If you treat someone unfairly,

they'll feel the need
to balance the scales,

even if it means they
suffer a loss themselves

in the process.

It's irrational, but
it's what makes us human.

- Then I guess Molly
felt like her sisters

treated her super unfairly.

- She torched the
house to punish them.

- Now we just need the
evidence to prove it.

- You think another
visit to Molly?

- You're getting good at this.

- Uh-uh. It's Izzy.

She's not doing well.

You guys go ahead.

This is gonna take time.

No, no, no, no, I hear you.

Why don't we try...

how about distraction?

I can update you on the case.

- I can't take it.
The pain is so bad.

I don't think I can do this.

- I'll come back as
soon as possible.

We'll figure it out together.

- Are you OK?

- I'm fine.

I'll call you back soon.

Molly! Is that you out there?

Don't do this! Let me out!

Molly!

Damn it!

Damn it.

Dr. Mercer.

Dr. Mercer. Cops got Molly.

I figured you'd want her
transferred into FBI custody.

Is Agent Clark here yet?

More importantly, are you OK?

- Am I?

- Your vitals look good.

Just take it easy
the next day or two.

- Don't you worry about me.

Did you get that hard
evidence on Molly?

- Paraffin residue in her car.

We got her.
- Good work, Tyler.

I'm sure your boss
will be proud.

- Thank you.

- Molly!

Lack of eye contact
is an indication

that you feel guilty,
and that's a good thing.

It means you're
not a psychopath.

- My sister's
getting me a lawyer.

- Better be sure
it's a good one,

because I think you're
going to go to prison

for a very long time.

I know the deck was
stacked against you,

but you could have
made better decisions.

- I just heard there was a fire.

I didn't know if you
were alive or dead.

For a minute there,
neither did I.

- Are you...
- I'm OK, Marisa.

- What about the sensitive area?

- Mm.

- I mean, with all that heat,

maybe the paramedics need
to take a second look.

- You know it's not
your job anymore.

You want me to call Rose?

- Rose is in Paris on a case.

Anyways, it doesn't matter.

Paramedic says I'm
fine, couple scrapes,

little smoke inhalation.

It's nothing, right?

- Hey, you fool, it's me.

- I promise, when
I have something

to say about all this, I will.

- I better go deal with her.

- I wanted you to know I'm
turning down the money.

- You're what? Why?

- 'Cause I didn't earn it.

That's why.

You won the Fesmekker Grant

because you were
organized and prepared

and delivered great work.

I didn't live up to that.

- It's still a really
good opportunity, Rizwan.

- I'm gonna take his notes
so I can keep learning.

Maybe next time, I'll make sure
to plan better, like you did.

So you don't have
to be mad at me.

- I'm not mad at you.

I'll admit, I was a
little upset for a minute.

But that was about
me needing to be...

seen and recognized.

- Trust me, everyone sees you.

It's probably why I've felt
even more imposter syndrome

than usual lately.

Are we overanalyzing
our behavior?

both: Nah.

- Heard about the fire.

Is Alec OK?

- Yeah, he will be.
- I'm glad.

Speaking of, Wes Banning is
too scared to make a peep.

So could another run at motive
be the path to Matthias?

- OK, what's your angle?

- Well, there's one
exchange in the chats

from Matthias to Peter that
just won't leave me alone.

- "It has to be in three days,
an hour after Sanford speaks."

I saw that too.

It verifies what Peter
Shelby's mom told us,

that Peter set the bomb
off early by mistake.

- And it was never their plan
to hurt anybody at the event.

- But that just makes the
motive less clear to me

because it obviously
rules out assassination.

- Along with hate
crime, I'd say.

Matthias is way too
insistent on the when.

- Right, if you want to
send a political message

without the bloodshed,

why risk the body count
of doing it that night?

- Oh, I see I have you hooked.

Go with me.

With our best rational
theories of the crime out,

what if I pull an Alec

and pitch something irrational?

Before the bomb, the best polls

had Sanford at a dead
heat with his opponent,

and the worst,
three points down.

- Jace, no.

- But after the bomb,

the Black community
turns out huge,

and the man wins by five points.

- You honestly think that
Sanford would set off a bomb

at his own campaign event?

I mean, I know politicians
will do anything to win,

but that's a little...
- Far-fetched?

- Yeah.
- Of course.

But 20 years on,

with all of our other
theories in the trash,

how do we not pursue?

- All right.

You're right. I'm in.

But if we're gonna
go down this road

with a four-term
sitting Senator,

best buy some tap shoes.

- So it really wasn't my fault.

- No.

You and Chris were
simply in the wrong place

at the wrong time,
just like I was.

- Then why do I
still feel guilty?

Survivor's guilt.

You survived when
someone else didn't

and for no good reason.

But that's not what
I came here to say.

I came here to say I'm sorry.

- Why?

You are the only person
besides my parents

who actually comes by.

- I have been trying
to give you hope.

In doing that, I haven't
been honest with you,

not because I wanted to
spare your feelings but...

because I wanted to spare mine.

I guess I didn't...

think that I could go
through this again,

reliving the...

the pain

and the fear and...

this helplessness.

It was easier to...

placate you with promises
that it gets better.

- So what does that mean?

- It means that 20 years on,

I still have a lot of
emotional ground to cover.

That's how hard it is,

and I know that's not
what you want to hear.

But the truth is,

what you're going
through right now...

it was...

it's the worst I've ever felt.

- ♪ Ooh, child ♪

- And on top of that...

- ♪ Things are
gonna get easier ♪

- The person that you
were, the old Izzy...

she's gone, and you
have to grieve her.

- But what if I don't want to?

- Doesn't matter.

You don't have a choice.

The thing is, once
I accepted that,

I realized something.

The worst thing that
could happen to me

already happened.

And in a way,

that's a superpower.

It's true.

I had nothing to lose.

The old Alec was gone.

And the new Alec...

Tried things the old Alec

would never have tried,

took risks the old
Alec never would have.

It made me love my life again,

the wonder of it all.

So... if I can get
through the hard part...

- ♪ Ooh, child ♪

- You can too.

- ♪ Get easier ♪

- But what if I can't?

- You can.

- ♪ Ooh, child ♪

- If you can get to
the other side of this,

you can do anything you want.

- ♪ Ooh, child ♪

- I want to get out of this bed.

♪ Things are gonna get easier ♪

♪ Ooh, child ♪

♪ Get brighter ♪