All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S06E14 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Previously on
"Gilmore girls"...

Will you marry me?
Yes.

It should be fully restored
And working by june 3rd,

Which is the date
Of our wedding.

You broke up with me.

Rory, I love you.

The paper's not
Gonna come out.

Of course it is.

How? Nothing's done.

Come on, people! Move!

We got a paper to get out!

Paris melted down,
And everyone quit.

I know this crap
Backwards and forwards.

I can't believe
You didn't call me.

How we doing on time?

Uh, bad.

More specifically.

10 minutes.

Russell,
I'm logan huntzberger.

Yes, those huntzbergers.

And that's how we do it
At the daily news.

[ cheers ]

How about I hang out
At the diner?

My diner?

Who do you belong to --
Caesar?

My father owns the place.

The diner at least.
Not sure about the land.

My biological father.

When did you find out?
Two months ago.

That's a hell of a long time
To go without telling me.

If it's all happening too fast,
We could just postpone.

Postpone the wedding?

Maybe I shouldn't cancel
Everything right away.

Maybe I should just chill out
And see what happens.

Is that crazy?

The roses are amazing, mom.

Thank you, lorelai.

I like them, too, grandma.

Thank you, rory.

You are an expert
Flower arranger, emily.

Perhaps you missed
Your calling.

Thank you, richard.

Well done, everyone.
Well done.

Oh, stop it, lorelai.

I'm just commenting on how nice
And civil that moment was.

Never mind. Go on, go on.
That was so cute.

The roses are nice,
Grandma.

Already covered that.
Move on.

So, rory, how are things
Going at yale?

They're fine.

I didn't know we were allowed
To talk about yale.

No. We're allowed
To talk about it.

We're just not allowed
To pa for it.

I wonder if we're allowed
To visit it.

Okay, hold on.

Perhaps if we dress
In disguise.
Guys!

Plastic nose
With glasses attached.

Hey, come on.
We were doing so well there.

Then you had to start
With the yale.

So we can't talk
About yale.

I should make a list.

What else am I not allowed
To discuss in my house?

No, of course
You can talk about yale.

Yale is dad's alma mater,
And rory goes there,

So we have to talk about it,
Okay?

But maybe not now.

Fine.
Fine with me.

Now, I know a lot of stuff
Has happened,

But we all agreed we were gonna
Put all that behind us

And just move on, okay?

So let's take a step back
And, uh, start again.

In 5, 4, 3, 2...

These roses are amazing, mom.

Thank you, lorelai.

Thatagirl.

Your mother has a way
With flowers.

Perhaps she missed
Her calling.

Dad, we don't have to have

Exactly the same conversation
We just had.

How am I supposed to know?

You said the same thing
You said.

I was getting the ball
Rolling.

This is my house.

I should have some control
Over what goes on here

At some point!

You're raising your voice
Again, richard.
I am not!

You are, and you're raising
Your voice to me.

I'm not allowed to
Raise it to the people
Who deserve it.

5, 4, 3, 2...

I love shrimp!
Who else loves shrimp?!
Me!

I'm a fan!

This is ridiculous.

Lorelai, how's luke?

Hey, nice one, mom.

Thank you.

Well?

What? Oh. Oh, he's fine.

So you're still engaged.

Yes, we're still engaged.
I was just asking.

After all, I haven't gotten
A "Save the date" card yet.

If you're engaged,

I assume you're planning
A wedding at some point,

Not that I've heard
Anything.

I will send you
A "Save the date" card, mom.

For?
For?

What date am I saving?

If I tell you that now,
Then what fun will the card be?

I mean, I assume I'm invited.
I haven't heard.

I haven't heard
If I'm invited,

If I'm in the wedding,
If I need a dress.

And now you won't tell me
The date of this wedding

That I may or may not
Be invited to.

June 3rd!

June 3rd?

Yes, june 3rd, okay?

Are we here june 3rd?

I believe we are.

All right. June 3rd.

That's very soon.
Yeah.

Is there any specific reason
So soon?

Oh, boy.
June 3rd.

June 3rd?
Richard, june 3rd.

Yes, june 3rd.

Well, it's just so soon.

I mean, we haven't even
Seen luke since...

Richard, when was the last
Time we saw luke?

It's been a while.
A long while.

Well, you must bring him
To dinner friday.
What?

The next time we see him

Certainly cannot be as
You're walking down the aisle.

Well, there's time before --
No, there's not.

Your father goes out of town
Every other week

From now
Until the end of may,

I have functions
Every weekend --

Two charity balls,
The zoo auction,

The hartford beautification
Project.

Your father and I bought
A stretch of the highway.

Exit 36 through 38.

So there's literally
No time left.

It has to be friday.
Friday it is.

I don't know if luke
Is available friday.

Tell him he has to be.
This is family.

Yeah, but --
He would say no
To having dinner

With his future mother-
And father-in-law?

Is this really the kind of man
You want in your life?

Is this really
The kind of man

You want to be
Rory's stepfather?

Yeah, think of the kids.

Luke is not saying no.
You are?

No, I'm not saying no,
Either.

So no one's saying no.
Right.

So you're saying yes.
Yes.

Good. I'll pick up some
"Save the date" cards tomorrow.

Do you want a color?

Because I think white
Is the best choice.

5, 4, 3, 2...

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Have you noticed

That anything
In a red-wine reduction sauce

Leaves you hungry
20 minutes later?

Rory: especially
If you don't eat it.

Did my parents eat
Exceptionally slowly tonight?

Yes.
They did.

My mother started on
The white-meat portion
Of her game hen at 8:15

And did not hit the drumstick
Till 10 of 9:00.

9:15!

You've been in there an hour.
What are you doing?

Facial exercises.

The younger I look,
The younger you look.

Oh, good point.

Hey, do we want the apple
Turnovers or the cherry?

Yes.

Hey, question --
Where did june 3rd come from?

What?

I thought there was
No june 3rd.

No, there's a june 3rd.

Just because we don't get
Married on a date

Doesn't make it
Cease to exist.

You know what I mean.
I was on the spot.

I just didn't want
To go through the whole

"The wedding was postponed"
Explanation.

Why not?

Because that would lead

To the "What happened?"
Conversation,

Which would lead to the
"I told you so" conversation

And the "What is wrong
With you

That you can't close
The deal?" conversation,

Which would lead

To the "Why is lorelai
Slamming her head

Against the wall?"
Conversation.

So I just said june 3rd.

It could still happen,
And if it doesn't,

I'll blow up that bridge
When we come to it.

I get it.
Thank you.

Those new sweats?
Yep, just came out.

Did you get some
For mommy?

You want
Some yale sweats?

No, no, not me,
Your other mommy,

The one who raised you
And fed you

And stayed up with you
When you had the measles.

I already put them
In your room.

Excellent!

To cleanse your palate.
Thank you.

Let's go.

Hey, you know who also might
Like a sweatshirt?

They don't make them for dogs.
I already asked.

I did not mean paul anka.
He's a princeton man, anyhow.

Nice loyalty.

I think christopher
Might like one.

Dad? Really?

Yeah, he's paying
Your tuition now.

It might be a nice gesture.

Yeah, sure,
I could do that.

Cool. "Solaris"?

No, not again.

I'm telling you, there's
A story in there somewhere.

Yeah, the story is you

Calling yourself mrs. Clooney
For 2 1/2 hours.

Have you heard from him
Lately?

George? Yes, last night.

The oscar buzz is really
Getting to him.

I'm talking about your dad.
No.

Huh.
What?

Nothing. He's just been
Very quiet lately.

So?
So it's weird.

Pops up and then disappears
Again -- that's never good.

Unless he's a groundhog.
Maybe dad's a groundhog.

I wonder what he's up to.

Maybe he's just busy
With work.

No, I don't buy it.

Maybe he's just doing
What he promised he would do.

What's that?

He's putting up the money

And staying out
Of everything else.

Hmm. Well, that was
The agreement, wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

Huh.

Maybe he is just
Doing what we agreed to.

So un-christopher of him.

People change,

And then they get a nice
Sweatshirt as a treat.

Good for him.
Yep.

Hey,
"Bullets over broadway."

"Don't speak."

If only.
[ gasps ]

Hey, you like me.
Remember that.

Why don't you invite him
To yale for lunch,

Show him around the campus,
Make him feel daddy-ish?

You think he'd like that?
I think he'd love that.

Okay.
I'll call him tomorrow.

Just don't take him
To the library.

Mom.
Don't show him
All your classes.

Don't make him
Touch the toe.
This is my tour.

I'm just saying,
If he passes out from boredom,

He's gonna be a lot harder to
Drag around campus than I was.

Seriously, don't speak.

How about we call
Her cellphone

And make up some kind
Of emergency?

Would that work?

Okay, hit me with it.

Big shock,
It's about paris.

What did she do now?

Nothing, it's what's
Been done to her.

The howell raines-ing
Is complete.

She's out?

The board has spoken.
More like screamed.

Oh, boy.
How did she take it?
She hasn't.

She won't come out
Of her bunker.
She's been in there
For hours.

Even hitler came out
Every once in a while
To walk his dog.

I interrupted her highness
While she was on the phone

And got a 5,000-word lecture
On robert's rules of order.

Well, she's got to be told.

She's got to come out.

Tear gas!
Where can we find tear gas?

Or we could set off
The fire alarm.

Stand down, everyone.
I'll tell her.
Really?

It's probably better that
The person delivering the news

Doesn't chuckle with glee
While doing it, bill.

[ chuckling ] I would not
Chuckle while doing it.

Oh, my god, that was
Completely inadvertent.

All right, I'm going in.

I know, mr. Weisner.
It was a complete screw-up.

Here's what happened --

Your ad ran
With the phone number

Of the beauty-supply-store ad
From the next page.

That's why you're getting calls
About hair gel and moisturizers.

Anyway, I really want you
To rest easy,

And I hope this does not
Interfere

With any financial contributions

That you've been generous enough
To promise.

All right? Thank you.
Bye.

This job is 24/7.
Yeah.

It's not enough to put out
A daily paper

Without having to dodge
Complaints

From uppity alumni calling
Over every little mistake.

Weisner threatened
To withhold money

He had already pledged
For the new computers

Because his ad was messed up.

Can he even do that?

I don't know.

Do you want some soup?

There's no ventilation
In here.

I'm careful.
Right.

Uh, well, no, thank you.
I just came in here to...

I was just thinking...

Yeah?

[ sighs ]
Five-plus years?

Hmm.

That we've known each other,
That we've been friends.

Five-plus.

That long? Wow.

Feels like forever ago
To me --

Chilton, the day we met,

Just a couple of
Rosy-cheeked kids.

My face inflamed easily
Back then --

Too many tomatoes
And red peppers.

Got off to kind of
A rocky start.

We were competitors.

I get that from my mother.
She's part viking.

But eventually we became pals,
Good pals,

Because we respected
Each other

And supported each other
In good times and bad.

Did I open this can today
Or yesterday?

This is a not-so-good time,
Paris.

I know.

If the hurricanes don't kill us,
The bird flu will.

I mean for you, here,
At the paper.

The board voted you out.

Oh.

I see.

So it's over.

I'm sorry.

I just found out.
I'm so sorry.

Well, it's not like
I didn't have a clue

That that was
A possibility.

It has been pretty tense
Around here.

So, are they all out there
Excitedly awaiting my perp walk?

Oh, who cares?
Who cares about them?

You don't perp walk.

You're paris geller.
You walk tall.

You're better
Than all of them.

Really?
Definitely.

And this job, paris,
Being editor --

You don't need this,
This hassle.

You're gonna be a doctor.
Surgeon.

And a lawyer.
Judge.

That's a hell of a workload.

And the workload here,
The indignities,

Smoothing the ruffled feathers
Of advertisers,

Covering sports
As if they matter --

You're exhausted, paris,

Stretched thin,
Eating soup out of a can.

Soup I don't even like.

This might not be
Such a bad thing,

Leaving this job, huh?

I am pretty tired.

You even look
A little relieved.

And I'll be damned if
I'm gonna give those
People a perp walk.

Good. Good attitude.

Let's get out
Of this spider hole

And take care of this
Right now.

I am with you, friend.

You better shut off
The hot plate.

Right.

Everyone, I have
A little announcement,

So if you could
Gather around, please.

We have an issue.

You see, it has become
Increasingly apparent

That I have become the story
Here at the yale daily news

And that I have overshadowed
Our journalistic efforts.

Well, I don't want to be
The story at my own newspaper,

Because then I'd be
Judith miller,

And I'd have to wear
My bangs too long

And overdo my lipstick,
And I don't want that.

I want to remain me.

So I am tendering my resignation

As editor in chief
Effective immediately.

In closing, I'd like to state
That the yale daily news

Has overcome numerous obstacles
In its august history

And that it will easily
Overcome this.

My resignation will be a loss,

But it will be a loss
The daily news can survive,

And it is a loss
It must survive.

Good night and good luck.

[ cheers and applause ]

[ sighs ]
I don't want to go.

Of course you don't.
Your parents are not
Warm people.

They were extras
In "March of the penguins."

Maybe we could skip the drinks,
Have the dinner, and be done.

Luke, you don't skip
The one activity

That makes the rest of the
Evening miraculously tolerable.

The drinks fortify us.
The drinks give us strength.

The drinks get us drunk.

But they take forever,
And then I got to sit there

And talk to your dad
About stocks and literature

And watch it dawn on him
For the umpteenth time

That I don't know anything
About stocks or literature.

How many times
Can two people

Have the same awful
Conversation?

Just repeat after me --

"This is really great scotch,
Richard."

And then, of course, there's
Your mother, who hates me.

All the more reason
To get a little soused.

We can drink in the car.
One of us has to drive.

Fine, you drink in the car,

I'll take five quick shots
In their driveway.

Look, I want to get out of there
As quickly as you do,

But we have to think
A little more pragmatically.

So when the dessert comes,

I will fake an attack
Of food poisoning,

And then you rush me
To the car.

That's your solution?
Uh-huh, yes.

Fake stomach pain
Is my specialty --

That and getting my fiancé

To agree to horrible things
He hates.

6:00?

Wear something fetching.

What is luke doing here?

Oh, he's making a few
Minor repairs around the inn.

What about the handyman?
Parker?

Yes.
I thought we liked him.

We do, but luke offered,

And he has his own tool belt,
And the price was right.

Oh, really?
No charge?

Well, I did have to
Give him a coupon

For 100 free snuggles.

How adorable.

Yeah,
And to tell the truth,

Parker always kind of turned up
His nose at my snuggle bucks.

So I guess this is how
We're operating now.

How's that?

We've dispensed with hiring
Professionals around here.

Maybe from now on,

My cousin gert
Can do our accounting.

She's got her own
Calculator.

He's not performing
Open-heart surgery, michel.

He's just fixing a few things,
For free,

Saving me a little money

So I can do crazy things
Like pay people's salary

And heat the place.

Well, he's not doing
A very good job.

That key rack is protruding
Way too far out.

It's going to wreak havoc
On my french cuffs

Every time
I reach for a key.

Tell him how you like
The hooks.

Oh, I'm supposed to just
Follow him around all day,

Correcting
His every mistake?

Absurd.

We will sit down
And make a detailed list

Of everything we need done,
And he can consult that.

Luke does not need a list.

What do you mean?
We always gave parker a list.

Luke's got a sixth sense
About these things.

He can spot a loose screw
From across the room.

He can sense when something
Needs to be fixed

Before it's even broken --
It's spooky.

Well, I will do a quick
Walk-through with him,

Just to make sure
His magical powers are working.

Michel,
There's no need for that.

You've got plenty to handle
With all the guests,

And luke's got it covered.

Left my sandpaper
In the library.

It must be nice
To have a man

Who isn't ashamed
Of his own natural body odor.

Come on.
I'm trying to be accurate.

There are no hanging chads,
Bill.

Give us the count.

Okay, we've got 16 votes
For casey,

18 for andrew,
And 9 for cathy.

I can't do this anymore!

We're never going to get
A majority!

Let's just not
Have an editor.

We can run the paper
By committee.

No one said
This was going to be easy.

It's been three days
Of voting.

That's not an election,
That's a sentence.

Maybe we should
Take a break.

No. No breaks.

This isn't est.
We get to leave.

Maybe we should send out
For coffee. Who wants coffee?

No way! I'm so wired,
I'm jumping out of my skin!

We have three candidates
And no consensus.

We're never
Getting out of here.

We need a new name.
I agree.

We're not getting anywhere.

How about gilmore?

I like that name.

I like that name.

Whoa, hey,
I didn't mean my name.

I'd vote for rory before I'd
Switch to andrew. Sorry, andrew.

And I'd vote for rory
Before I'd switch to cathy.

Sorry, cathy.

And I'd vote for anybody
Over casey

Because casey's an idiot
And didn't even show up.

He's in the back.
Sorry, casey.

Got a statement, gilmore?

No, um...

I'd just like to say
I'm flattered,

And you're very kind.

Um, I did miss that semester,
So seniority's a question.

We're past taking seniority
Into account.

You totally bailed us out
That night.

The paper wouldn't have gone out
If it weren't for you.

What's your hesitation?
Is it paris?

No, I'm not hesitating
Because of paris.

Then why are you hesitating?

I'm not.
I accept the nomination.

Please tell me
We don't have to debate this.

What's the debate? She's feeling
Pretty consensus-y to me.

All right.
All those in favor

Of rory gilmore as editor,
Say aye.

Together: aye!

Sounds consensus-y to me.
Congratulations.

Thank you, everyone.
I won't let you down.

This is part two
Of the financial-aid feature.

We need your okay
Before going to layout.

Good. I loved part one,
By the way.

Thanks.
A.P. Pieces.

We may need more filler
Than usual today.

Good. Thanks, sheila.

These should probably
Come first -- photo approvals.

Thanks, joanie.
And let derek know

That I'm gonna need some space
In editorial.

I want to write a little note
From me to the readers.

Will do.

[ gasps ]

Ow.

Paris!

Doyle! Someone!

You dare show your face?

What is my stuff
Doing out here?

I'll prorate the utilities
From the time of eviction --

3:47 p.M.,
The third day of february.

Eviction?
Paris, why are you doing this?

Don't you play dumb
With me.

Unchain the door.

This chain is here
For your protection.

Krav maga, baby.
When my enemies approach,

I'm trained to pounce --
It's reflex.

Paris, I'm not your enemy.
Oh, really?

Enemies move in silence

And strike when their prey
Is weakest.

Pretty much sums you up,
Doesn't it, editor gilmore?

That was not my doing.
That was the board's.

As if you didn't
Lobby for it.
I didn't!

That secret meeting
Weeks ago at the pub

Where you set the putsch
In motion -- what happened?

There wasn't a beer hall
Available?

I did not set the putsch
In motion.

I can't even
Spell "Putsch."

Nice spin.
Take it to "K" street.

I made you my number two,
And it went to your head!

You can't just kick me out
Like this!

There's a hallway full of crap
That says otherwise!

But we're friends.

We're not friends.

I understand
Why you're upset,

But just let me in
So I can explain.

"Gee, paris, what a horrible job
Being editor is.

"Who needs the headache?

Remember chilton, paris?
All those good times."

Well,
The good times are over!

Here, this is yours, too.

Luke,
Can we talk for a minute?

Yeah, what's up?

I noticed your truck,
Your filthy green truck.

It's parked
In guest parking.
So?

So guest parking
Is for guests.

Filthy-green-truck parking
Is around the back,

On the dirt road,
Behind the shed.

I'll be done in two minutes.

Wonderful.

Now, about your hat.
My hat?

I'd like you to remove it.

What for?
You're indoors.

Gentlemen don't wear hats
Indoors.

It's okay.
I'm not much of a gentleman.

Not if you persist in dressing
Like a "Peanuts" character.

I'm not taking off my hat.

Did you talk to a guest
This morning?
Huh?

I thought I saw you
Talking to a guest.

I may have given someone
Directions.

Well, don't do it again.
You're not qualified.

I'm not qualified
To tell somebody

How to get
To the post office?

No.

You are a diner owner

And an amateur
Substitute handyman,

And that in no way
Qualifies you

To give directions
To our guests.

Why not?

Because that is my job,
And you lack my people skills!

Go away, michel.

Keep your voice down.
The guests can hear.

There isn't anyone
Down here.

But they are upstairs,
And your voice carries!

Hey, you're the one
Doing the yelling.

I'm yelling because
You are flouting the rules

Of this establishment --

Parking where you want,
Talking when you want,

Wearing what you want.

And 20 minutes ago,
I saw you eating a sandwich.
So what?

We don't let the help
Eat in front of the guests!

The next time you eat,
You do so in the kitchen...

Or the barn!

I'm not gonna eat
In the barn!

Parker ate in the barn.

Who's parker?
A wonderful, wonderful man.

Logan: hello?

There are no singles
Left.

What do you mean
"No singles"?

I just talked
To campus housing,

And there are no singles
Left at branford

Or anywhere on campus,

And the decent off-campus
Apartments are long gone.

The ones left make paris
And doyle's place

Look like versailles.

Why do you need a place?

I got elected editor
Of the daily news.

What? You did?

Yes.

Wow! Finally someone good
Running that place!

Someone great!
You're gonna be great!

Well, hot-plate harriet
Took it very badly.

Who's that?
Paris.

She threw all my stuff
Out into the hallway,

So I'm sitting here
Guarding it all

Until the movers get here.

Oh, man. Paris, idiot.

My books look sad.
Can books look sad?

Look, we'll figure this out.
You said you got movers?

Starving students.

How starving can they be

If they can't come
For five hours after you call?

Plus, I heard the guy crunching
On something during our call.

Sounded like baked lay's.

And you've got nowhere
To go, right?

Right-a-mundo.

Well...
You can move in with me.

What?

Move in with me.
Paris' place is a hole anyway.

I never liked
That you lived there.

And that doo-wop group
Downstairs,

I don't think they're
An honest-to-goodness
Singing group.

Logan, that's really sweet,
But I can't move in with you.

Why not? You're here
Half the time anyway.

You've already got
Two dresser drawers,

And right now,
For a limited time,

I'll throw in three more drawers
And a set of ginsu knives.

Really?

No. I have no idea
Where to get ginsu knives.

It's kind of a big step,
Isn't it?

You need a place,
I got the space.

Don't you think
It'll be fun?

Fun?
Come on, ace.

You know what I mean.
What do you say?

Well...

I might need
Just one more drawer.

I can put my socks in a shoe box
Under the bed.

Is that a yes?

I guess that's a yes.

Good.
I'm calling colin and finn.

They'll be right over.

Okay.
And no shoe boxes.

You're getting
Those drawers.

I'll take them.
Wait, wait!

Hold on, I've got to take this.

Okay, get past the hamper,
Veer left at the mirror.

Grab the large pipe on the wall
To get yourself to the desk,

Which you can then
Go over or under.

I'll guide you from there.

[ sighs ]

Got a little snack there,
Michel?
These are not a snack.

They are my
12 daily walnuts.

I hate to see you
Bingeing like this.

And now I've lost count.

Let's talk about your little
Spat with luke today.

What did he tell you?

He said you yelled at him.

Oh! [ scoffs ]
What a crybaby.

He's not a crybaby.

He just doesn't like
Being screamed at

By people
He's doing favors for.

Did you check his diaper?

Maybe he's just upset because
You forgot to change him today.

Now who's a crybaby?

I used to yell at parker
All the time,

And he never once
Came running to you.

What is this thing
With you and parker?

Did he save your life
In nam?

Parker is a professional.

Parker is a clumsy, forgetful,
65-year-old,

Semi-lucid, not-that-handy
Handyman.

Luke wears a hat indoors.
So did parker.

That was a wool-knit cap.
It's completely different.

So this is a hat thing?

I just don't like
Luke's system.

He misses many things
That needs to be fixed --

Many things.

Well, so jot them down.

That's not how
We make the list.

So type them up.
No!

We make the list
At weston's over coffee.

That's what we do
When we make the list.

We go once a month
To weston's together,

And we sit, and we decide
On the work for the handyman.

That's our thing.

We get very large coffees,

And we split a slice
Of red-velvet cake,

And we gossip,
And I eat the whole cake,

And you never tell anyone.

Oh, michel.
I liked our trips to weston's.

Oh, yes, that is what I do
When I like something --

I cut it out of my life
Completely.

I didn't cut coffee with you
Out of my life.

Oh, then you just forgot?

How special those times
Must have been for you.

They were special.

It's just been crazy
Around here,

And, well, it was nice to save
A little money with luke.

Money isn't everything,
You know.

People come to work
For more than just the money.

Although my direct deposit
Was late again.

Maybe that's something

You can finally get around
To looking into.

I will.

I guess you don't have
To write that down, either?

No one needs a list
Anymore?

These are candied.

Well...The real ones
Taste like cardboard,

And the health benefits
Are the same,

Except for the skin.

What are you doing
This afternoon?

I'm going to yell at doreen

About the soap spots on room 3's
Bathroom floor tiles.

Well, instead,
How about if you and I

Take a trip to weston's?

We can make luke a list
Over cake and coffee,

And we can throw around ideas
About improvements at the inn.

I do not need
Your pity cake.

It's red-velvet cake,
And it's delicious,

And I think
We ought to eat it.

Although this time,
You're getting your own

'cause I am not sharing.

Well, I guess I could yell
At doreen tomorrow.

Tomorrow seems like a fine day
To yell at doreen.

So weston's?
Weston's.

I was thinking maybe you could
Have luke wear a jumpsuit

When he's working
Around the inn,

You know, the kind
Gas-station attendants wear.

Yeah, why don't we put a pin
In that?

So far, I have seen no one here
Smarter than you.

You can tell that?

And I'm keeping track --
566 people, all inferior to you.

I don't believe it.

What?

Did you not see
Those two girls?
No. What?

They totally
Checked you out.
They did?

[ chuckles ] Cool.

It's the same way
With mom.

I swear,
I hate having hot parents.

Sorry.

Check it out.

I had him for microeconomics
Last year.

The currency must be more
Than fungible, but also scarce.

Take our seashells example.

While fungible,
They exist in infinite supply

And so fail the scarcity test.

[ snoring ]

Dad!

Huh? What?
Uh, uh, fungible?

Dad, that's a nobel-prize
Winner.

The dull dude?
Shh!

He doesn't even
Own an iron.

I can't take you anywhere.

No, you can't, can you?

This where we're eating?

We don't have to.
I just wanted you to see it.

Well, I'll eat
Wherever you want to eat.

Okay. I know a cool spot.

And we've pretty much covered
Every square inch of campus.

So let's go.

Hey,
What about your place?

My place?
Yeah, I want to see it.

Why?

Because I'm curious.

I want to see
Where my kid lives.

Well, it's pretty messy
Right now.

The lady who cleans my house
Has to use a bulldozer.

Messy does not frighten me.

Okay.
But you've been warned.

Lead the way.

Man,
Did you see that lobby?

Um, yeah.
Once or twice.

That was a lobby.
And a doorman?

I'm slipping that guy
A little something extra

To keep an eye on you,
By the way.

You don't have
To do that.

Are you kidding? I love slipping
People money to do things.

We're here?
Yep.

You got a key or is it scanning
Your retina for access?

Dad, I have to be straight
With you about something.

Oops.

No, it's just...

Today was a weird day.

It started really great,

With me getting voted editor
In chief of my school paper.

What? You did?
Oh, boy, rory, that's amazing.

Thank you, it is.

It's just, paris,
My roommate paris --

She was the editor,

But when she found out that
I was made the new editor,

She threw me out.

What?
You want me to talk to her?

No, it's fine.

It's just that I had
No place to go,

So I moved in
With my boyfriend.

Oh.

In there.

Your boyfriend.
You actually met him once.

I did?
At grandma's vow renewal.

He was the guy --
Right.

Yes.

When I walked in,
And you two --
Exactly.

Okay, well, uh,
Why don't we open the door

So I can see
What my daughter

Living with her boyfriend
Looks like?

Okay.

Hey.
Hi.

I tried to call you to let you
Know we were coming over,

But you didn't answer.

Right. Headphones.
They work.

Sure do.

So, uh, logan, this is
My father, christopher.

Hi, good to meet you.

Actually, we've met.

I know.
Don't worry about it.

Wow, this is,
Uh, some spread.

Aw, thanks.

You brought your dad here.

He wanted to see where I lived.
What was I supposed to do?

But I need a little bit
Of a warning.

I tried to call you.

Should I put the headphones on?
'cause I'm right here.

No. Sorry.
Yeah, sorry.

Look, I didn't mean to barge in
On you like this.

I just want to make sure
My kid's

Got a decent place to live,
That's all.

Hey, so, how do you like
The plasma?

Love it.

I'm thinking about getting
A 60-inch for the bedroom.

Well, I've got a great
Home-theater guy

If you need some help.

I may take you up on that.

You want something to drink,
Dad?

Sure, I'll take a soda,
If you got one.

Coming right up.

Wow. That's a great view.

Yeah, that's the old campus
Over there.

Oh, me and the old campus
Go way back.

Is that...It is.

That's endicott peabody.

[ chuckles ]
Why do you have that?

Are you a groton man?

Was, briefly.

I actually swiped that
From the headmaster's office

On my way out the door.

I was kicked out of groton.
You're kidding.

Nope, did a semester
At st. Sebastian's after that.

I know several people who got
Kicked out of st. Sebastian's.

My good friend colin
Was actually banned

From coming anywhere
Within a 10-mile radius.

Impressive.
Here you go.

Thank you.

After st. Sebastian's,
I went on to st. Cybill's.

I almost went there myself,

But I wound up
At st. Mark's instead.

How long you last there?
About a week.

They got quite the trigger
Finger at st. Mark's.

You ever do deerfield?

Please, deerfield's
For amateurs.

I got kicked out of rivers.

I didn't think rivers
Kicked anybody out.

Neither did we,
But dean eldon's miata

In the bottom of lake rutherford
Proved just the ticket.

Rory,
You got a good man here.

Interesting yardstick
You're using.

Listen, logan, we were just
About to grab some dinner.

You want to come with?

Oh, I don't want to intrude.

No, come.
That would be great.

Okay, sure.
Just let me grab my wallet.

I'll be right with you.

You're being nice to him.

He's a cool guy.

Listen, I haven't had a chance
To tell mom about this yet.

It's not a big deal,
It just happened so fast.
I get it.

I'm gonna tell her about it
Today, so just...

You tell her.
I'm going tv shopping.

Okay, rich man's shoe.

Where else?
Rich man's shoe?

Best burgers
Within walking distance.

We have very high culinary
Standards here at yale.

Whoa, is that
The new xbox 360?

Okay, I'm totally
Moving in here with you.

Are you serious?

Just look at it
As a challenge.

There's 85 things
On this list.

Actually, that last page
We did front and back.

Wow.

I thought we'd make it
An even 100.

"Regrout the tiles
Behind the sink basin."

Long overdue.

How can you tell?

Well, if you slide on your back
Under the sink

And shine a flashlight
Up into the area

Where the basin meets the wall,
It's really obvious.

What does "O.D.D." mean?

"Only during the day."

Those are tasks we deemed
Too noisy for you to do

When guests are sleeping.

How considerate.

"Replace chocolate-brown
Contact paper in kitchen drawers

With cocoa brown."

Okay, that one I blame
On the second piece of cake.

There was a major
Sugar rush involved.

I hate this list.

I know, but michel and I
Made that list together,

And we bonded,
And that makes him happy.

I don't want
To make him happy.

If michel's happy,
Then I'm happy,

And then I take
All that happiness

And I give it right back to you,
Tonight, in bed,

After you spend four hours
With my parents.

What do you say?

Can't parker do the list?

No.

Luke, you eat so little.

My motto is
"Everything in moderation."

Smart.
Very "Walden"-esque.

But it's good, though.

Everything's really good --
The duck pâté especially.

Thank you.

Number three?
Hmm?

The martini.

It helps settle my stomach.
Gin?

Absolutely.

Helps counteract
The oh-so-regrettable shrimp

I had for lunch today.

Yeah,
You mentioned that before.

The shrimp did not agree
With you.

Might have to turn in early.
Damn, that al!
Al?

Al's pancake world,
Where I had the shrimp.

You ate shrimp
At a pancake house?

Well, of course
Your stomach's unsettled.

You should drink club soda.

I think we have some
At the house.

Might have to cut
The night a little short.

So you're living
At lorelai's house, luke?

Mother!
Is that so private?

No, we're in the process
Of consolidating things.

Consolidating your assets?
Right.

Tricky business.

Is that house big enough
For the two of you?

I've remodeled a little,
Added some space.
Smart.

Yeah, well,
We're smart today.

Except when you ate
That shrimp.
Yeah, that was dumb.

You've updated your coverage,
I assume --

Let your insurance company
Know about the improvements?

You're my insurance company,
Dad.

For the inn, not your house.

I haven't yet, but I will.

You should do it soon.
I'll do it tomorrow.

If you're feeling okay.
Better not wait.

Small gaps
In your insurance coverage

Can lead to big mistakes.

Oh, I could tell you
Horror stories.

Brian hunter.
Yes.

He owned a home for 40 years --
Huge mansion --

Never updated his coverage.

One night, his trophy bimbo wife
Got into a drunken snit,

Lit a curtain on fire
With her marijuana cigarette,

And burned the place
To the ground.

He couldn't afford to rebuild.

Lost his fortune,
Lost the bimbo.

Now he sells sunglasses
Out of the back of a van

In california -- cheap ones.

Because he didn't update
His coverage.

What about your diner?
What about it, dad?

I'm just wondering if luke's
Insurance is up to date.

I'm sorry, did you invite us
Over to sell us insurance?

Because if you did,
I'm going to insist

On seeing the complimentary
Desk calendar first.

I'm simply inquiring.

I think I'm all up to date.

What company are you with?

North trust insurance.
I've known the guy a long time.

Never heard of it.
You sure he's legit?

Of course it's legit.
Come on, dad.

Don't be naive.

There are schemers about
Preying on the naive.

John kendall.

John was drinking at a party,
Met a fellow,

Switched all of his coverage
To the guy,

Wrote him a huge check
On the spot.

Then he suffered
Earthquake damage,

And there was no record
Of the insurance transaction.

It was a scam.

Now he's working at the gift
Shop at the grand ole opry.

Horrid music.

Sells cowboy shirts
And toy banjos.

I've known my guy
For a while.

You been to his office,
Checked out his operation?

I just deal with him
Over the phone.

Ah.

What?
Hubert lansing.

Fell prey to a telephone scam
Running out of estonia.

Took his life

With a track-and-field
Starter's pistol.

On your mark, get set,
Die awkwardly.

It's not funny, lorelai.

The fact is, both of you
Have significant assets,

And both of you are targets.

Targets?

How are we targets?

You own your home.

So every homeowner
Is a target?

And an inn
With a 26 zagat rating.

Okay, so that's two things.

Two very valuable things.

The dragonfly is one
Of the highest-rated
Places in the area.

And luke owns his diner
And the building it's in

And the building next door
With the soda shop.

That's another
Significant holding.

Wait, did you put a p.I.
On our tail or something?

How do you know about luke's
Real-estate holdings?

Because he told me
All about them

When we played golf last year.

You did?
Yeah.

Who in the world
Would target us?

Grifters, con men.
They know all the tricks.

Joe collins.

Oh, my god, the two of you
Have more stories

Than somerset maugham.

Well, your father
Has seen it all.

And I must say,

Your daughter coming out of
Left field raised a red flag.

My daughter?

You think she's a grifter?

Of course not.

But the people around her
Could be.

It's just that the timing
Is a little suspicious.

Right when luke's about to marry
A woman of means.

I'm not a woman of means!

Stars hollow real estate
Is skyrocketing.

It's gone up 43%
In the last 4 years.

It has.
I heard that, too. 43%.
That much?

This daughter of yours --
You saw substantiation?

Well, there was a dna test.

That she performed herself,
As I understand it.

Isn't that what you said?

Yeah, but --
But her uncle helped her.

And he's authorized
To perform such a procedure?
I think so.

You never confirmed it?

I saw a picture of him,

And he was standing
Right next to a microscope.

Under the circumstances,

I think it's best to take
Every possible precaution.

For our protection,
As well.

Your protection?
We're all connected now.

You're our daughter,
And come june 3rd,

Luke will be our son-in-law.

They could come after
Your assets,

Then luke's assets,
Then our assets.

We could be wiped out.

So this is about
Protecting you.

It's about protecting all of us.

We're all in this together.

All four of us.

Get dessert ready, leticia.
Who wants coffee?

Hmm.

I don't know if I can drive.

Well, walk to the car.

Did you know real estate's
Gone up that much?

Not that much.
My shirt is soaking wet.

I got to start reading
The business section.

I never knew there were
So many horrible ways

You could lose everything
You own.

Or con men. Con men!

Are there really con men?!

I thought they went the way of
Vaudevillians and trotskyites.

You've got to double --

Triple insure
Everything you own.

I've got to learn more
About umbrella policies.

Does sookie know how much
The inn has appreciated?
I don't think so.

If they can come after her,
They can go after you

'cause you're her partner.

Or, when we get married,

They can come after you
Because we're married.

And sookie's
Married to jackson,

So they could go after
His farm.

Maybe I should sit down
With sookie.
And I'll talk to jackson.

Or maybe we could do it
At the same time

Because that way --
No, this is ridiculous.

This is what gilmores do.

They get in your freaking head,
And they mess with it.

Oh, they're good at that.

Forget sookie and jackson.
They're responsible people.

Dad does the inn.
We're covered there.

I just need to talk
To my homeowner-policy guy.

And I'll talk to my guy.

But in person, right?
You should see his office.

That's what the hubert lansing
Story taught us.

Or was it john kendall?

No, he's selling banjos
In nashville.

It was hubert lansing.

So, in person.
Right.

And I shouldn't worry
About april.
No.

Because if I was a guy
Hearing a story

About what happened to me,

The timing would sound
Suspicious.

April's 12.
She's not a con man.

Though I know nothing
About her mother.

Anna's cool.

You know that for a fact?

Absolutely.
The timing was weird,

But this woman
Is very down to earth,

Very unmaterialistic.

I trust my gut, and my gut says
There's nothing bad there.

Okay, good.
I trust your gut, too.

[ sighs ]

I feel like
I should run in there

And yell at them
About something.

About what?
I don't know.

That's what's stopping me.

What is this feeling,
This tightness in the chest,

This anger mixed
With paralyzing weakness?

You've been gilmored.

But you know
What the weird thing is?

They referred to us as family --
You, me.

Yeah, what was that about?

Well, I think
In some twisted way,

That may have been them actually
Validating us as a couple.

Wow, that is twisted
And weird.

Yeah.
[ sighs ]

Well, I think I can walk now.
Can you walk?
Yeah.

All right.

Why did she say june 3rd?

Oh, it's old information.

They're always
A step behind.

Right.

Hey, which one
Was somerset maugham?

Lorelai: hello?

Lor, it's me.
You busy? Can you talk?

How come you have

"I've got the government's
Secret microchip
In my briefcase,

And they're on to me" voice?

Do I? Sorry.
What's wrong?

Nothing. I just finished
Having dinner with rory.

Oh, yeah.
How did the tour go?

Did she take you
To stare at the old books?

'cause that girl loves
Staring at the old books.

Yes, we stared at the old books.
The tour was great.

I just...I have to tell you
Something.

Okay.

Now, I'm not sure whether
I'm supposed to do this or not.

Normally I wouldn't because
It feels like a fink-out thing,

But I think this falls
Under the parent thing,

So that overrules
The fink-out thing.

Catch a wave, bud.
You're drifting.

Rory moved in
With her boyfriend.
What?!

Rory moved in
With her boyfriend,

And she said
She was gonna tell you,

But I thought,
In case she didn't,

Then I should tell you,

So I did,
And I feel like a fink.

You're not a fink.
When did this happen?

Today. It was all very
Spur-of-the-moment.

Hey, tell me about this guy.
Do we hate him?

What?
Logan -- am I supposed
To hate him?

No, you can feel however
You want about him.

Good,
'cause I think I like him.

He's a cool guy.
Great apartment.

Funny.

He's taken, chris.

I just wanted to make sure
You didn't hate him

Before I committed
To an opinion.

You're entitled
To your own take on him.
What's yours?

Hey, for me,
The jury's out on all you guys.

You can thank brad pitt
For that one.

Okay, so,
Anyhow, I told you.

Yeah, you told me.

Wow. Our little girl
Is living with her boyfriend.

Yeah,
I had that moment, too.

It was during
The onion brick,

So I had a little distraction,
But I had it.

Yeah. Um, hey, hold on.

Hello?

Rory: mom, it's me.

Hey, you.
Hold on a sec.

Chris, it's rory.

Okay, now, I did not tell you.
Do not rat me out.

When she tells you the news,
You have to act surprised.

Yes, I promise.

It'll be like
The time you told me

You got pat benatar tickets
For my birthday,

But I knew because
I went through your jeans

Looking for the clove
Cigarettes.

You knew?
Bye, chris.

Hey, kid, what's going on?

Not much. Having a bad reaction
To an onion brick.

What part of onion brick
Do you not understand?

I gave dad his tour today.

Yeah!
It was nice.

He saw the campus,
We had dinner.

Oh, how very "7th heaven"
Of you.

Listen, I have some news --
Two pieces of news, actually.

One is good, and one is,
Let's say, interesting.

Oh, intrigue.

Well, first,
I was made the new editor

Of the yale daily news.

No, really?
Rory, that's awesome.

It is awesome.

My god, I didn't even know
You were up for the job.

I wasn't, actually.

It all kind of happened
At the last minute.

Hey, wasn't paris the editor
Of the daily news?

Yes, she was, which brings me
To my next piece of news.

Okay.

Paris was ousted,

And when she found out
That I had taken her place,

She kind of kicked me
Out of the apartment.

Well, sure.

So I had no place to live,

And there were absolutely
No apartments for rent

Anywhere near campus,

So...I moved in
With logan.

Wow, big news!

Yeah.

Well, jeez,
Tell me about his place.

Is it nice?

Uh, yeah, it's really nice.

Where is it?

The taft building,
Right off campus, top floor.

Top floor? Cool.
Good view?

Great view.

Awesome.
How many rooms?

Dad told you, didn't he?

Oh, come on,
I was doing so well.

Please.
How did you know?

Are you kidding me?

"How's the view?
Is his place nice?"

You didn't call me
Hester prynne once.

Don't be mad at him.

He was just trying to do
The dad thing.

He hated it, by the way.

I'm not mad.
Good.

[ sighs ] So?
So, what?

So, what do you think
Of me moving in with logan?

I'm sorry,
Do you remember what happened

The last time I piped in
With my opinions

On your life choices?
Mom, come on.

You don't want to make sure
The pool house is clean first?

Mom.

Okay, well, moving in --
That's pretty big.

I know.

I mean, I don't know.
I've never lived with a guy.

There's that whole thing
About the cow

And the milk's free.

I guess
I would hate to think

That you really moved in
With him

Because there was
A housing shortage,

Because it's a big step.

I love him.

Well,
I want you to be happy.

I am happy, really happy.

Okay, then.
Congratulations.

Big day.
Thanks.

You're gonna have to tell me
How it is living with a guy

Before I let luke move in.

If it's too creepy, he may
Have to stay with babette.

I will.

I've heard some horror stories
About toilet seats

You would not believe.

Really? Do tell.

Oh, but, wait, let me dim
The lights and start the fire.

You have a fireplace?

Wood-burning.

I don't think
We can be friends anymore.