All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S06E12 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Previously
On "Gilmore girls"...

Luke, will you marry me?
Yes.

And it should be fully restored
And working by june 3rd,

Which is the date
Of our wedding.

We have to tell each other
Everything.

Agreed.

That's the only way
This is gonna work.

I'm going to take hair samples
From three men,

Run dna tests on them,
And figure out which
One's my father.

Did you say your father?

I've got a kid.

What did lorelai say?

You haven't told her.

I want to talk to her
And see her on a regular basis.

Okay.

I got a job!
Where?

At the stamford gazette.

And I'm going back to yale.

You don't get to care about
Where I live, logan.

You broke up with me.

Honor was bugging me, and I told
Her we broke up to shut her up.

You're a coward.

Rory, I love you.

I have an appointment.
I have to go.

[ bell tolls loudly ]

Oh, my god!
What is that?

Is it in the house?
It's church bells.

How'd the church bells
Get in the house?

They're outside.
In the yard?

No, at the church.
What time is it?

It's 3:12.

Why are the church bells
Ringing at 3:12?

I was having a dream,
Too.

I was shopping for a car and
I wanted to see the trunk space

'cause I have a truck and
It's convenient to haul things.

So I wanted to see what the deal
With the car was,

And the salesman opened it.

I asked him
How many cubic feet it was

And he looked it up in the
Manual and I was satisfied.

So when he closed the hood,
The bells rang.

You have very mundane
Dreams.

Man: town meeting,
Town meeting.

What was that?

Some dead guy
Yelling something.

Ghosts are yelling something
Outside the house?

No, guys I'm gonna kill
Yelling stuff outside the house.

What are they saying?

There was
A clown beating?

Not again.

Town meeting,
Town meeting.

No, they're saying,
"Town meeting."

Town meeting?
At this hour?

What the hell
Is taylor up to?

All right.
Guess we better go.

What?
I'm going back to bed.

Come on,
It's a town meeting.

It's the middle
Of the night.

Sorry,
We might miss something.

[ laughs ]

Oh, good --
Full house.

Just goes to show how easily
Manipulated we all are.

You ring a bell,
We drool like dogs.

Just don't drool where we sit.
It'll be messy.

Hey, you guys hear
The bells?

No, we were just on
One of our spontaneous
3:00-in-the-morning strolls,

Saw everybody in here, and
Wondered, "Hey, what's up?"

Really?
No.

He's cranky
At 3:00 in the morning.

Any idea
What this is about?

Taylor's
Not even here yet.

Kirk's up there,
Futzing with something,

But he won't tell us
What's going on.

Kirk: we're just about ready
Here, folks.

Ready for what?
What is this?

Here we go.

Greetings, everyone.

Taylor?
He's in
A little box.

The nightmare continues.

Is it looking okay, kirk?

Yeah, you could use
A little pancake.

Weird. I can still smell
His cologne.

People, we have
A tremendous problem

That needs
Our immediate attention.

That's why I chose
The extraordinary step

Of broadcasting to you tonight
From this remote location.

Ow!

What was that?
Looked like
A ping-pong ball.

Now, as we all know,

The annual stars hollow winter
Carnival is this weekend.

Ow!

Timmy, do not throw ping-pong
Balls at me.

And do not call me
A doo-doo head.

I'm in the middle
Of something important.

Where the hell are you,
Taylor?

I'm at my sister's
In maine.

Anyway, we have never not had
A stars hollow winter carnival.

It's a 125-year tradition.

Is he getting
To the point soon?

Yeah, come on,
Doo-doo head.

Fine, let's cut to the chase.

I run the winter carnival,
It's this weekend,

And I am snowed in,
Unable to get back into town.

So, what's this about,
Taylor?

Maybe it's the lateness
Of the hour

Or the computer connection
Isn't clear.

Timmy: doo-doo head!

We have never had to cancel
A carnival,

And it's absolutely
Impossible

For me to get back into town
To run it.

I must be tired.
I'm not getting this.

It's like a riddle
Or something.

People, are you not hearing me?

I won't be there
To run the carnival.

Draw the obvious conclusion.

Oh, okay, I got it now.

Taylor:
Thank you, patty.

Kirk, could you take it over?

Sure.

Great.
Anything else, taylor?

Oh, well, good for you,
People.

I guess we don't have to
Cancel it after all.

Thanks, taylor.
Come on, let's get you to bed.

I'm gonna fall back to sleep and
Dream about running taylor over

In that car
I was looking at.

Is there enough room
To put his body in the trunk?

Now, then,
I would recommend

That we immediately start
Discussing some details.

The sooner, the better
Is always best.

Now, then, food.

We'll obviously have
The carnival staples --

French dip sandwiches,
Corn on the cob,

Apple cider, et cetera.

Now, we almost ran out
Of hot chocolate last year,

So I would recommend
Upping the supply by 11%.

[ inhales ]
Timmy!

Put down that rubik's cube.

Timmy, do not throw
That rubik's cube at me.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Luke: here...

Here...

Here.

This was tea.

Now you got a hybrid.
That's very in right now.

I've gotten so much done
This morning, it's scary.

Coffee?
I already got some.

I saw the sunrise.
I paid all my bills.

I already got some, hon.

And this is a first -- I saw
The beginning of katie couric.

I don't think I've seen
The first five minutes of her

In my life.

You know, she and matt lauer
Are much more serious

In the first half-hour
Than they are later on.

I guess
That makes sense.

You can afford to make people
Sad and angry about war

And the economy and stuff
When they first wake up.

But then, just as they're
Heading to the office,

You leave them with a dose
Of matthew mcconaughey,

People's sexiest man,
And they're rarin' to go.

Yeah, matthew mcconaughey
Always gets me rarin'.

And I'm even volunteering
To man a booth

At the carnival this year.

I got a great concept,
Too.

What about you? You got anything
Special planned today?

Today? No, not today.

It's a bunch of the same old,
Same old errands.

Not liking my "Hybrid."

Coming.

I'll call you later.

See what you did here?

[ laughs ]
Sorry.

No, wait, I want the one
I had already.

Oh, well, okay.

Oh, terrific.

Bring 'em on in, algernon.
The more, the merrier.

It's logan's doing.
What can I do?

Tell him to stop.
We're not speaking,
Remember?

Well, they're putting our lives
In jeopardy.

Oh, stop it.

They scream bling,
Draw eyes to the apartment.

Bad guys see roses,
Then they come for our diamonds.

We don't have diamonds.

The doo-wop group
Doesn't know that.

Yeah, by the window
Is good,

Next to the neon sign
That says "Come pistol-whip us."

Fine, I'll hide them.

You know, I see logan
At the paper a few times a week.

I can lean on him,
Make him stop.

He's going to get
The message eventually.

Well, he better get it
Quick.

Between the paper and classes,
I'm only home a few hours a day.

I'd rather not spend them
In mortal fear.

[ knock on door ]

Paris.

Yeah?

Man: u.P.S. -- got a package
For rory gilmore.

From?

Harry and david.

Great. Fancy fruit.

I'm sorry.

Step back from the door

And keep your hands
Where I can see them.

Surprise.

Was this not
A planned thing?

Why?

You said, "Surprise."

No, it was just --
How you doing?

Good.

This is how the avian flu
Spreads, by the way.

Oh, sorry!
I was just saying.

No, I heard that, too.
Heard a guy on cnn say it.

They fired my favorite --
Aaron brown. He was comforting.

Yes, he was.

Mind if I sit?

No, go ahead.

[ exhales ]

So...

Do you like
To hang out here?

The park? No.

Then why
Are we meeting here?

I thought kids
Liked parks.

It's 41 degrees out.
Not peak park-going season.

But there's still stuff
To do, right?

I mean, we could have
A snowball fight.

My friend remi got into
A snowball fight with a guy once

And she got
A retina detached.

Well, we'll skip that,
Then.

Uh...

Sorry. I'll think of something
Better to do next time, okay?

I don't really know
What kids are into.

Hey, whatever.

Oh, and I said
"Next time."

I don't know
If you caught that.

I did.

Did your mom explain

That this isn't necessarily
A one-time thing?

I was thinking maybe
We could make it semiregular

Or even just,
You know, regular.

Uh, okay.

Good.

So, what's
Your free time like?

I've got no school
This whole week.

It's year-round,
So we get weird times off.

Well, then maybe we can do
Something tomorrow, too,

Something less cold.

Okay.

So, what kind of things
Do you like to do?

I like morse code.
I'm learning that.

My mom gave me a putter,
So I putt some.

And I like talking to my indian
Friend shamilah in bangalore

Over the internet.

I wouldn't be much help
With any of that.

We could bowl
Or go to a movie

Or maybe there's
A zoo around somewhere.

How about I just come
And hang out at the diner?

What diner?
My diner?

Yeah.

Won't it be boring?

No way.
Diners fascinate me --

The hustle, the bustle,
The monte cristos.

The diner?

Yeah, that'd be fun.

Can't think
Of anything else, huh?

I think it'd be great.

Well, okay, sure.
The diner.

Tomorrow you will come
To the diner.

[ chuckles nervously,
Clears throat ]

So, what do you want to do
Right now?

I've been counting
How many times

Those frisbee guys
Over there have dropped it.

Oh, okay.
Let's keep watching.

The one with the hat's
A big, fat butterfingers.

Yeah.

Kirk, you needed carnival-game
Volunteers and I volunteered.

What's with the hassle?

We do things like ring toss
And rope ladder climbing.

Your choice is unorthodox.

That's because
I'm not orthodox.

I'm liberal
With a touch of reform

And a smidgen
Of zippity-pow.

You're aware
That this is the first time

I'm running
The winter carnival?

I am aware.

I can't afford
To have anything go wrong.

Kirk, I promise
This booth will be a big hit.

It will not embarrass you,
Okay? I promise.

Your promise means nothing.
You break them all the time.

[ gasps ] I do not.

1997 -- you promised to bring me
Back a souvenir pen and ink set

From your trip
To colonial williamsburg.

I did?

1999 -- you promised to put in
A good word for me

At al's pancake world when al
Had that batter boy opening.

He calls them
"Batter boys"?

Year 2000 -- you promised
To teach me to swim.

I still don't know
How to swim.

What if there's a tsunami?

2001 -- you promised to come
To my birthday party,

And I waited and waited.

Kirk, scout's honor, this booth
Will make you proud, okay?

Now...

Excuse me, hi. Are you
Liam driessen by any chance?

I am.
Hi, lorelai gilmore.

I'm here
To make your stay

And the rest of the new england
Maple syrup council's stay

As comfortable as possible.

So far, so good.
Love the local color here.

It's really not appropriate

To be standing
Right next to me like this.

But we work together.
But not here.

Liam, can I ask you
A question?

Would you pay a dollar to have
Your fortune told by a dog?

A dog?

It's for a carnival.
It's very cute.

A dog that has no experience
Telling people's fortunes?

I don't know.

Well,
You're no help.

Well, just part
Of our local color.

He's purple.
[ laughs ] Get it?

'cause local color
And he's a color.

And how about a tour?

Sure.

[ telephone ringing
In distance ]

That's what we got?
It's posed, staged.

Get another
And make it candid.

Candid?
Don't question me.

But it's a team photo.

Bill, how's it hangin'?

It's hanging okay.

Good, good.

You like
The washington post, do you?

Yes.

Because they like to split
Their infinitives,

The washington post,
Especially their metro writers,

But I don't.

"The council member chose
To forcefully waive

Her right of veto."

Consider it unsplit.

Hey.

You check in?
Check in?

The board.
The new system?

This is the best way
For me to know where anyone is

At any given time.

All the names
Are on the left.

Each colored magnet
Represents an activity.

If you're out on assignment,
It's a red magnet.

If you're in the john,
It's a blue magnet.

If you're at home,
A purple magnet.

If you're at your desk,
It's a green magnet.

But if they're at their desk,
You can just glance over

And see
That they're at their desk.

But I'd have to glance
All around.

This saves
Extraneous glancing.

Look, it's not really
For people like you.

I know you're dedicated.

I trust you, but I can't appear
To be playing favorites.

I have a class.

Orange magnet.

[ sighs ]

Excuse me.

You're rory gilmore?
Yes.

Someone pointed you out to me.
This is for you.

What is?

The coffee cart.

For me?

Courtesy
Of logan huntzberger.

Oh, I see.

Well, I don't want
Any coffee right now.

Thanks anyway, and sorry
You wasted your time, ben.

No problem.

What are you doing?

I'm hired for the day.

What?

Yep, all day.

Any time you want some coffee,
Biscotti, I will be here.

That's not necessary.

I've already been paid --
A lot!

[ sighs ] Fine.

Man: business contest...
[ laughte ]

Kiddo, is that the tv?

April: yes.

You watching
Something stupid?

Yes.
You promise?

Yes.
Okay.

[ telephone rings ]

Hello?

Hi, anna.
It's luke.

Hey there.

So, she came back
With all her fingers and toes.

Very successful
First outing.

Yeah, it was nice.
It was real nice.

She had a good time, too,

And that's impressive
'cause she's picky.

Good.
Well, so did I.

So, she's coming by
Your work tomorrow?

Oh, she told you that,
Huh?

Well, listen,
Here's the thing.

I don't know if...

It's gonna work out for her
To come to the diner.

Why not?

Well, it's gonna be
Really hectic,

Lots of people
Swooshing around and all.

She'll like that.

She likes people swooshing
Around her.

Pans of hot grease.

There will be pans of hot grease
Swooshing around her?

If she's in the kitchen,
Yeah.

Well, keep her out
Of the kitchen

If there's any grease
Swooshing.

I mean, that doesn't sound safe
For you, either.

I don't even know how much time
I can give her.

No problem.
She's very low-maintenance.

Just set her up at a table
And she'll be fine.

If there's a table, because some
Of the tables are reserved.

I've got my regulars,
You know?

They want their tables,
So there may not be room.

She's little.
You'll find room.

You know, anna, actually
I don't know if tomorrow

Is gonna be good at all
For anything.

I didn't realize
How busy I was.

Factor in
All the people swooshing

And the grease swooshing.

Luke, no.
No what?

It doesn't work
That way.
What do you mean?

Look, I don't know
What the problem is here.

What?

You say you're available
One minute,

And the next minute
You're not?

I was just --

It's not cool, luke.
It's not happening this way.

What way?
It's just a bad time.

There's no great time
To be a parent, luke,

You just are one.

And if you're gonna make plans
With my kid

And get her hopes up
And then cancel,

Then our deal
Is canceled.

Anna, no.
Yes, that's it.
That's how it works.

You're either all-in
Or you're all-out.

We didn't ask for this.
You did.

You wanted contact,
A relationship, and now --

Okay, okay, I hear you.

Have her come
To the diner tomorrow.

You're sure?
I'm sure.

I was just over thinking all
Of this. I'll see her tomorrow.

Okay, she will be there.

Good. Thanks.
It'll be good.

It better be.
Bye, luke.

[ telephone beeps ]

Bye.

She's starting to go through
Trash cans. It's creepy.

That's a privacy violation,
For god's sake.

What's she looking
For?

Uh, buh, buh,
Buh, buh, buh.

Hi, guys.

Hey, rory.

Did I interrupt something?

No, no, nothing much.
Just hangin'.

What's going on?

Nothing.
Just enjoying a tipple.

So all the senior staffers
From the yale daily news

Are simultaneously enjoying
A tipple?

Tell her.
No.

Tell her!

Tell me what?

This is a war council.

About what?

About kaiser geller
And her reign of terror.

The paper is going to crap.
It's unreadable.

She rewrites your stuff,
Then rewrites her rewrites.

And to add insult to injury,
The copy gets worse every time.

She used to be good, right?
Wasn't paris good at one point?

Before she was editor.

Now she's augusto pinochet
In a pantsuit.

Yeah, what's up
With those pantsuits?

We're seriously considering
Howell raines-ing her.

You want to force
Her out?

She's out of control.
And you have
The authority?

We're the board.

And the board
Has the authority.

I'm a senior staffer, too.
Why wasn't I asked to be here?

You're in paris' pocket.

I am not
In paris' pocket.
You're friends.

Best friends, right? That's what
Paris is always saying.

And you guys live together.
It didn't seem appropriate.

Okay, let me set
The record straight.

I'm devoted to the paper,
Okay?

Personal feelings cannot get
In the way of things.

Paris and I
Are not best friends.

We're friends
For the most part,

And I'm not immune to being
Driven crazy by her, believe me.

Oh, we believe you.

I'm getting crow's-feet.

Paris geller is not going
To give me crow's-feet.

So you do acknowledge
A problem here?

I just did, a.K.
Where's the trust, dude?

We just want
To do this right.

Well, then, let's talk
And maybe set

The howell raines-ing aside
For now.

Let's see if we can fix things
Before we blow them up.

Fine. Sit.

But allow us
Our cathartic purging.

Purge away.
[ clears throat ]

Oh, but first would anyone like
A refreshing coffee beverage?

I have ben till 9:00.
Seriously?

I'll have
A decaf latte.

Same here.
Can he do
Mocha latte?

He does
A great mocha latte.

I'll have
A mocha latte.

Uhh! Sorry.

[ chuckles ]
Taylor?

Shh!

I thought you were stranded
At your sister's.

Lorelai, please.

Weird time
For line dancing.

Fine.
Okay, I'm back.

I got lucky last night and
Caught a plane out of maine.

Even with the rain
In spain?

Will you be serious
For second?

What's with the sweats?

I'm incognito.
Don't you see?

With the carnival
Coming up,

This is
My huckleberry finn opportunity

To observe things invisibly.

You know, I'm not gonna be
Around forever, lorelai.

Oh, taylor, are you sick?

No, just mortal.

And eventually someone --
Maybe kirk --

Is going to have to
Take over

The many delicate tasks
I perform for this town --

The streetlamp
Illumination monitoring,

The lawn-height measuring.

Now I'm just getting sad.

Please keep my secret.

Mum's the word.

Well, I should go.

Back to 8 mile?
What?

Nothing.
Ooh, behind you.

Hey, zach.
You helping out?

Got to keep body
And soul together.

Well, this is space 18

And that's my booth,
So we're a team.

We should get uniforms.

You okay?
Yeah, I'm great.

I lost my girlfriend,
My band's broken up,

My best friend
Won't speak to me,

And I'm reduced to working
As a $5-an-hour carny.

Bob dylan should write a song
About me.

I'm sorry
About you and lane.

Yeah, well...

But you'll get through
This rough patch

And life will move on.

Trust me.
It's human nature to move on.

What?
What what?

Lane's moved on?

Have you seen her
With someone else?

No, I'm just saying people
Have the ability to move on.

Oh, my god, god, god.

I got to go take a break.

Okay.
Hope I cheered you up some.

[ gasps ]

Kirk? Kirk.

Yes, lorelai?

Why are you putting

The exact same booth
Right next to my booth?

Well, frankly,
I have my doubts

About your dog's ability
To predict the future.

And in order
To satisfy our guests,

I'm hedging our bets by putting
The real thing next door

So that no one walks away
Bamboozled.

Kirk, there is no real thing.
It's all fake.

Those tarot cards
Are not real.

My dog cannot predict
The future.

So you admit it?
I was never hiding it.

That's fraud.
It's a doggy swami.

My girlfriend says
Tarot cards are real.

Well, I like
Your girlfriend,

But the cards
Are no more real than my dog.

[ cellphone rings ]

I got to take this,

But I would like it
If you would move the --

Kirk? Kirk?!

Luke: no, it's me.

No, I know. I just was getting
Frustrated with kirk.

What else is new?

So, um...

I was wondering
What your time was like today.

My time?

There's something
I need to run past you.

Oh, I have
A minute now.

I'd like to discuss it
In person.

Oh, could it wait
Till tonight?

'cause I have
The syrup council in town

And they've got a conference
And a meal

And josh is out sick
And jamie's out sick

And I just barely got away
To come here

And get in an argument with kirk
About what's more legitimate --

Tarot cards
Or a fortune-telling dog.

So you're not coming
By the diner?

Not today, but I'm totally yours
Tonight. Is that okay?

Uh, sure.

So you definitely won't be
Coming by the diner today?

Not today, sorry.

No, it's okay. Just if you were
Coming by, I wanted to know.

And now I know you're not.

Okay, so give kirk hell and
I guess I'll see you tonight.

Okay,
See you tonight.

Hey, zach, did you see
Where kirk went?

That away.

Wonderful.

Well, keep warm and tell lane
I'll see her later.

All right.
Bye now.

April, get in here.

Bye, now.

What are you doing
Talking to him?

He asked about my bike.

You don't know him.
He could be a strangler.

He seemed to know you.

Of course. That's jake.
I've known him 15 years.

You've known a strangler
For 15 years?

He's not a strangler.

Then why can't I talk
To him?

Because
You didn't know that.

Don't trust anyone, okay?
Anyone.

Okay, then I should go lock
My bike.

No, you don't have to
Lock it.

You just said
I can't trust anyone.

You don't have to lock your
Bike. This is a safe town.

Well, I'm confused.

[ exhales ]
So, here it is.

We met here.

Right, right.

So, what do you want to do --
Sit and color?

Color?

[ chuckles ] Wow.

I haven't colored
In six or seven years,

But that takes me back.
Coloring. Wow.

Okay, so you don't color.
Did you bring a book?

I don't really feel like
Reading.

Well, I don't really
Have any toys or anything.

Your salt and pepper shakers
Look a little low.

Yes, they are.
People salt stuff too much.

Can I refill them?

You want to refill
The salt shakers?

And the pepper.
And possibly the sugar.

We'll see how the salt
And pepper goes.

Oh, well, okay.
Refill the salt and pepper?

Whatever.
I'll get the boxes.

Great.
Great.

[ chuckles ]

[ chuckles nervously ]

Coloring.

Liam: well, it may surprise
Some of you,

But that's a syrup derived
From a black maple.

Yes, it's sweeter
Than the first two,

But it's a natural sweetness
With a hint of orange.

Very unusual and very good.

Let's move on
To number four, shall we?

And number four
Is another little surprise.

Ugh, gives my skin
That weird, tingly feel

Like something's bubbling
Underneath it.

It makes the root
Of my tongue

Feel like it's retracting back
Into my throat.

What don't they pour it
On something --

A waffle, a pancake?

So, let's go ahead
And taste number four, shall we?

Then we'll talk.

Ew!

Ew, drinking straight
Syrup!

You don't have to
Watch this.

It's hard not to.

A bit of a tobacco taste to it
And a bit of marshmallow.

Oh, good, now I can't smoke
A cigar

Or eat a marshmallow
Again.

How does one discover
A talent for this?

Remember, for anyone
Who wants one,

We have spit buckets.

That's it.

See ya.

[ sighs ] Hi.

Hello.

I was gonna call you,

But then I figured
You wouldn't take the call.

Yeah, you figured right.

I just need a minute.

I can't fathom what a minute
Of my time is gonna do for you.

Just a minute, please,
Then I am gone.

Okay.

Look, I know I'm not your
Favorite person in the world.

No, you're definitely low
On the list,

Right above the guy who thought
Up smallpox blankets.

In my defense, I think I'm
A notch higher than that.

You're not exactly in a position
To comment on that, are you?

No.

In fact, let's take inventory
Of all the delightful things

That have happened since you
Waltzed into my daughter's life.

She was arrested, convicted.
She's on probation.

She'll have a criminal record
Unless we can get it expunged.

She dropped out of school,
Moved out of my house.

She didn't speak to me

For 5 months,
3 weeks, and 16 days.

No, wait a minute.

Come to think of it,
You a my favorite person.

Okay, I can defend myself on one
Or two of those points.

No, you can't.
Why are you here?

I miss her, okay?

I made a mistake
And I'm trying to rectify it.

Nothing is working.
She won't talk to me.

Can you blame her?

No, I'm doing everything
I can -- flowers, gifts.

All your old standbys,
Huh?

Books, coffee cart.

I'm trying to show her
How I feel.

And it sounds like she's trying
To show you how she feels.

Look, I figured this was
A suicide mission, okay?

It's probably something you
And rory will laugh about

For years to come.

But I'm not giving up until
I exhaust all my options,

And asking for your help
Is one of them.

Really?
Yes.

You're seriously here
To ask for my help with rory?

This is not a joke?

I'm going for broke here.

Well...

You got moxie, my friend,
I'll give you that.

I think I get it
From my dad.

I hate your dad.
Me too.

See? We have things in common,
You and me.

Maybe this isn't
So crazy.

Oh, hi.

Hello there.

What are you doing?

Chores.
Yeah, I see.

Are you a strangler?
No.

Just checking.

[ laughs ]

Rice -- that's the key.
Prevents clumping.

Oh, yeah.
I hate clumpy salt.

That's universal.

So, who do you belong to --
Caesar?

Who?
You're not caesar's?

Not according
To the lab results.

How'd you land the gig?

My father owns the place.

The diner, at least.
Not sure about the land.

Your father?

My biological father. Not really
Sure what to call him.

It's kind of new.
Not the biological part.

That was years ago.

I wonder if brown rice
Would work, too.

Brown might be more decorative
Or it might backfire.

People might think
There are bugs in the salt.

I should put some brown rice
In one of the shakers

And use it as a control group
Against the other ones.

I thought
You couldn't get away.

I got away.

She said she wasn't
A strangler.

Uh, you want to go
Outside?

Uh-huh.

April, I'll be right back,
Okay?

Okay.

So she's --
Yeah.

Wow.
I know.

That's...
My daughter.

I don't believe it.

I still have trouble
Believing it.

You have a --
Yeah.

Right.
What is she -- 12?

Yeah, 12.

12 years!
This is for sure?

It's for sure.

When did you find out?

I just found out.
Just?

When just? She's in there
Filling salt shakers.

It doesn't feel
That new to me.

[ exhales ]
Two months ago.

Two months?!

That's a hell of a long time
To go without telling me.

I know.
I should've told you.

She's cute.

Lorelai, I'm sorry
I didn't tell you.

I'm sorry.

It's all just a blur
Of stuff happening.

She just came into the diner
Two months ago, no warning,

Talking about a science fair
And how I may be her father.

She pulled my hair out
And dna-tested it.

Then I wanted
To forget the whole thing,

But I went to the fair
And found out the truth.

We were at the park,
And she wanted to come here.

I called you today, wanting
A moment to talk about it,

But you were busy,
And...

So I put it off again.

And here we are.

Here we are.

[ sighs ]
It's stupid. I'm stupid.

Look, I need to digest this
And you have to get back inside,

So I'm just gonna go someplace
Where I can digest this

And we'll
Just talk more later, okay?

Sure.
Whenever you want.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

[ telephone ringing ]

"What's up with the caps,"
She asked,

Knowing it's probably
Not good.

It's paris. She's having trouble
Remembering everyone's names.

Or as she puts it,

She has more important things
To do with her brain.

Plus some of us have confused
The issue

By having the same first name --
The three johns,

The two marthas --
So she's issued numbers.

Martinet at 3:00.

Nice job on bienecki map theft
Article, number 17.

Thanks, paris.

23 and 80, I need your stuff
By 5:00.

Ah, rory -- new system.
Here's your number.

Paris, you know me.

I don't need a number
And I'm the only rory.

But you don't want me
To play favorites, do you?

So we all have numbers?

Including me. I'm number one.
Don't need a cap for that.

If they can't remember,
They shouldn't be here.

Hey, can we talk in a little
More private place?

Sure.

If you're looking for 1 and 2,
We'll be in the hallway.

Paris, the atmosphere here,
It's getting a little toxic.

What?
Everyone here
Is very stressed.

The grease board,
The hats.

I haven't heard
Any complaints.

That's because people are afraid
To approach you.

You rewrite everything they do.
You don't delegate.

That's not true.

Look, the staff and I
Had a little talk yesterday.

It was very impromptu.

I won't get into
The hairy details,

But it would really help

If you could relieve
Some of the pressure.

They think it's that bad?

You've taken away the magnets
That indicate

People are in the bathroom,
So now they're afraid to go.

Well, they were going
Too much.

People are getting
Very nervous here.

Yeah, I see.
I'll go talk to them.

Thanks for bringing it
To my attention.

You're welcome.

[ clapping ]

Where's 73 and 32?

People, rory gilmore
Has just informed me

Of the meeting
Held behind my back

Concerning my stewardship
Of the paper.

Oh, paris.

Am I tough?
You're damn right I'm tough.

You think it's going to be any
Easier entering the work force

With every newspaper
In the country

Cutting back on staff?

Also, any chance that you'd
Attempt the same sort

Of flaccid coup
If I were a man?

I think not.

You're trying
To howell raines me?

Well, forget it.
Suck it up and get to work!

Otherwise
There's the door.

I come bearing gifts.

I have to unlock the door.

You can't say no to these.
I know you.

It's biologically
Impossible.

Oh, yeah? No.

That seems
Very cumbersome.

You get used to it.

You get the coffee cart?

You really think
We're gonna chitchat?

I just wanted to know.

Yeah, I got it.

And the flowers and the books
And the candles and the fruit.

What's next on the list --
A marching band?

A parrot
Who says "I'm sorry"?

You have to go.

Wait.

What's that --
A subpoena?

It's a note
From your mother.

You're kidding.

Check out the handwriting,
Dragonfly stationery.

Can we get out
Of the hallway?

[ kicks door ]

I went to see her at her inn.
We talked a little.

It was a tad
Humiliating.

She told me to wait
And she came back with this.

She said
To give it to you.

What's it say?

I was instructed
Not to read it.

She even signed the seal
On the envelope to make sure.

You have no idea
What this says?

None.

What's it say?

Shh.

[ chuckles ]

What's it say?
Shh!

[ laughs ]

What does it say?
Shh!

Come on, ace, you're laughing.
Is that good or bad?

Hmm.

Yep.

Yep.

[ laughs ]

Just give me some indication
Whether it's good or bad.

Okay, fine.
Just tell me.

Is there anything in there
About giving me a second chance?

I'd have to reread it.

Please don't do that, ace,
Come on.

Come out with me.
Let me make it up to you.

Maybe dinner.

When?
I'll have to check
My schedule.

Check it.
I can't right now.

So?

I'll call you.

Good enough.
Good enough.

Promise you'll call?

Leave the doughnuts.

[ chuckles ]

[ door opens ]
Rory:
Margaret, I'm home.

Kitchen.

And I come bearing gifts.
Laundry galore.

Oh, and I've got some candles
And some fancy fruit, too.

I don't know
Who harry and david are,

But they sure do know
How to grow a pear.

[ groans ]

So, your letter --
Oh, my god.

It was brilliant.

It has got to be
Anthologized.

I'm telling you.

And he definitely
Did not read it

Because he looked flummoxed --
Flummoxed! --

The whole time
I was reading it,

And I didn't tell him
A thing about it.

That's what he gets.
So, come on.

I want to hear all about
His visit with you.

Mom?

Luke has a daughter.

And we'll talk
About the letter later.

He has a 12-year-old daughter.
I met her today.

I didn't formally meet her,
But I saw and I talked to her.

He has a daughter
With some woman.

We didn't get to that --
The big who --

But he's known
For two months.

Two months?
A daughter.

What does this say
About our relationship?

What do you mean?

He waited two months
To tell me.

Did he say
Why he waited?

Yes, he said he was confused,
And I get that.

I mean, I'm confused,
But what does it mean

That he kept a secret
Like this?

What does it say about him?
What does it say about me?

Doesn't he trust me?
Why doesn't he trust me?

He trusts you, mom.
He's a guy.

Sometimes guys
Are really dumb.

She's cute.
She is?

Yeah, what is it with
The next generation?

You're all smarter
Than the rest of us.

Not necessarily.
I'm freaking out.

I don't blame you.
What else is he hiding?

I mean, how can you really know
That you know somebody?

I don't think you can.

Every relationship is just
A big, honkin' leap of faith.

Yeah, I guess.

You didn't ask
About the mother?

I ran off. I couldn't wrap
My mind around it.

Well, luke must be freaked out
Double what you're freaked out,

You know --
Mr. Responsibility?

He must've put his baseball cap
On backwards.

I'm sure he panicked.

I'm sure
His not telling you

Says nothing
About your relationship.

Maybe this is a cheesy
Perspective to offer you,

But gwen stefani
And gavin rossdale

Went through
The same sort of situation.

He found out he had a kid
That he didn't know about,

But they made it work...
As far as I know.

Meaning?
If they can, you can.

Really?
They're people.

You're people.

I mean, you don't sing
And neither does luke.

But really,
Neither do gwen or gavin,

But they're still together...
I think.

I haven't read anything
To the contrary.

You and luke
Just need to talk some more.

Maybe I'll tell luke
About gwen and gavin.

I mean,
If there's any people

Whose lives
Luke would relate to,

It's gwen and gavin.

[ sighs ]

[ carnival music plays ]

[ games beeping ]

[ bell ringing ]

[ laughter and applause ]

[ buzzer ]

They only cost
50 cents?

How lame would it be

To go to the trouble
Of counterfeiting?

No mind games.
They're legit.

Another crime
Thwarted.

Good job, columbo.

[ bell rings ]

[ german accent ]
Guten tag, there.

I would like --
What you call them? --

A hot dog.

Coming up.

Ja.

Oh, und we are having cold
Weather this year, nein?

[ chuckles ]

It's a smashing concept.
And kirk was doubtful.

We've already raked in $18.

And the night is young.

Come on, doggy swami,
Break's over.

He is liking his hat.

Well, it's very flattering.

You know,
I can man this myself

If you don't feel
Like being here.

No, it's good for me.

Nothing
Is a better distraction

Than a dog in a turban,
Telling fortunes.

It's a cliché
For a reason.

Come see
The amazing doggy swami.

Discover your future...

If you dare.

It's silly.
And fun.

And real.
Very, very real.

Want to play?
It's only a dollar.

Sure.

Winner!
We have a winner!

Really? That's it?

That's it.
Here's your prize.

"Hell is waiting for you,
Sinner."

Enjoy.

Step up and play "Toss the
Sybarite into the
Hellfire's."

Everybody's a winner!

I'm gonna go take a little walk,
Check out the competition.

Don't let my mother see you play
Anything too decadent.

I'll be back in a bit.

[ french accent ]
Ahh!

Oui!
Look at those games.

It is so marvelous
That I am here to see it.

What a great country.

J'adore.

Taylor finally
Flipped his lid.

Babette: yeah, poor morey
Couldn't make it.

I made him drink 30 bottles
Of coke last night

For the game here,
So he's still throwing up.

And then I ended up
Not using 'em. Shame, huh?

But I'll tell him
You said "Hi."

Hey, want to throw
Some balls?

Just don't laugh
Too hard at me.

Never, never.
Come on up here.

Give me some balls.

Fresh balls coming up.

[ laughs ]

Yeah!

Watch it, honey --
It could bounce off the back

And hit the girls manning
The dime toss.

There you go.
You're getting the hang of it.

Yeah,
Cute little throw.

Excuse me?
Pretty boy says what?

What?

Jeez, zach, what's with being
All goose gossage?

Zach, those aren't
Your bottles!

Yeah!

Yeah! Welcome
To the s.H., bitch!

What's your problem?

I don't got a problem,
Friend.

I got no more bottles
To knock down.

Who do I give the prize to?

Give it to asian george clooney
Over here.

I'm outtie.

So, I-I-I got smurfs
And dirty pasta.

What'd you just
Put in there?

[ british accent ]
Nothing, lady.

You stuck something
In the cider.

I did not.

[ normal voice ]
Although if I did,

It would be a thermometer
And it might indicate

That you are on the border
Of under heating your cider.

Get away from me.
Gladly!

Now. Right now.

Winner!

But I missed.
Everybody's a winner.

Mrs. Kim,
I need a word with you.

I'm busy.

You couldn't wait to put her
On the market again.

What are you talking
About?

Who else? Lane! We only broke up
A few weeks ago.

What --
You got her engaged already?

Engaged to who?

To who?

The korean brad pitt guy there
With the italian loafers

And super white teeth --
He's hanging all over her.

You mean her uncle?
Joe -- he's her uncle.

That can't be her uncle.
Uncles are old.

My mother had me,
Waited long time, then had him.

Joe is my brother.

Whoa, okay. Oops.

Yes, "Oops."

But just to be clear here,
She's not hot on her uncle?

She's not.
Got it.

Well, sorry.

Wait!

You accuse me
Of something?

We settle this now.

All right.

I am not going
To get in your way.

Okay.

Ready?
Ready.

Spin the wheel.

The swami has chosen!

This is exciting.

"You will sing songs
Of gemstones."

Of gemstones!

How do you sing songs
Of gemstones?

I was a little tired
When I wrote this one.

You want to pick another one?
Swami do-overs are allowed.

No, I'll stick with this one.
It's got an air of mystery.

Hey, luke, want swami doggy
To read your fortune?

Maybe some other time.

Hey. Can we walk
A little bit?

Yeah.

I've got to apologize
Again.

I should've told you
Immediately.

I was just so confused.

It's no excuse,
But that's the excuse.

I know. I get it.

Nothing can prepare you
For this one.

I just didn't know
How to tell you.

I'm bad with things.

No, luke.

Listen, it's weird, you know,
But we can make it work.

I mean, she's there.
April is there.

Luckily you're with a woman
Who's raised a daughter

And knows
Some of the ins and outs.

I can help.

I know you can.

I guess it's just -- it's just
All so much right now.

I've been dizzy
For weeks.

Yeah, I know.
It felt like something was up.

All too much, you know?

What all -- everything?

Well, I've got a kid.
She's here --

You know, june 3rd.

What about june 3rd?

It's just so soon.

It's still months away.

Well, it feels close.

It's everything, you know?
It's all piling up.

It's all happening so fast.

If it's all happening too fast,
We can just postpone.

Postpone the wedding?

Yeah, I mean,
It's not set in stone.

It just happened to work out
For a date that soon.

I don't want you going into this
All jumbled up, you know?

And that would be okay
With you?

Sure.

Well, that'll help.
Yeah, that'll really help.

That'll give me time
To resolve this other thing.

Everything will be better
Later on.

Well...Great.

Then it's a done deal.

Think it might be
A health-code violation,

Kissing this close
To the cotton candy booth.

Meet me back
At my place later?

Yeah, see you there.