All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E13 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Previously on
"Gilmore girls"...

Your grandmother and I
Have reconciled.

Your father and I are going
To renew our wedding vows.

What is the deal?
Are you dating?

No, we're not dating.
He's just a friend.

Lorelai's in a relationship.
Did you know that?
Yes, I know that.

If you want a chance,
You had better do something.

Timing has never
Been your strong point.

You should see
If you can change that.

Luke: uh-huh.

Uh-huh.
You don't.

Well, when are you
Gonna get it in?

Fine.

Two boxes of annulets,
Red silicone, bronze boat pail.

A bandsaw, a wood rasp,
And a jack plane.

Yeah, I'll hold.

Hi.

Apparently now we've been
Married for 40 years.

Sorry. This boat supply
Place does everything
But supply anything.

I love catalogs.

It's boating parts.
Yes, yes, I'm here.

None of them.

You must have a lot of room
In that place of yours.

Yeah, sure, back order it.
What the hell.

Oh, look at these boots.

Let's try 20 c-clamps,
5-inches or larger.

A box of 1/4-inch
Teak bungs, marine caulk.

And the boots --
Get the boots.

Yeah, go check.
What are you babbling about?

I want these boots.
They're yellow and cute.

I'll look like
The morton salt girl.

How did you find something
In my boat-supply catalog?

Size 9, please.
Yes, I'm here.

None of them.
At least you're consistent.

Back order all of them.

Yes, the c-clamps, the teak
Bungs, the marine caulk,

And one pair of
Fisherman's boots, size 9.

Of course, those you have.

Send them right along.
Uh-huh.

They'll be here tuesday.

Aw, you didn't have to
Do that.

Is it okay if I come over
Tonight and work on the boat?

With what?

Sheer masculinity
And imaginary sandpaper?

I have plenty to do until
The back order stuff gets here.

I thought you were gonna spend
The evening trying to figure out

How to fling yourself
Down the stairs hard enough

That you won't have to go
To my parents' thing tomorrow,

But not so hard
You actually die.

I thought I'd find
A wild boar to maul me

Enough that I'll need
Medical attention,

So I won't be able to go
To your parents' thing,

But after some stitches,
I'll still be able
To make you coffee.

Oh, much better plan.

I started to run the rigging.
I wanted to get further.

Rory's spending the night.

We're having
A "Cop rock" marathon.

Here's your doughnuts
And your coffee.

And my final plea to not make me
Go to this thing tomorrow.

You do not have to go.

Fine. I'll go.

I love it when I break you

With just the anticipation
Of a wear-down.

Did you say
"Cop rock" marathon?
I got 'em all on tape.

Trying to figure out
What you see in me?

Wait'll you see me
In the boots.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

I know I'm the one who said
I craved mashed potatoes,

But oh, my god,
Are they a lot of work.

It's instant mashed potatoes.
Key word -- "Instant."

I have to mix
Water and butter into it,

Not to mention the adding
Of salt and pepper.

The best of "Super furry
Animals" complete.

I have to rip the package open,
Dump it into a bowl,

And -- my god,
Are they serious? --

Stir the mixture to combine?

What is this? The gulag?

Do you want
"The arcade fire"?

I don't know. Do I?
Yes.

Once I finish with
All this manual labor,

I still have to
Clean the bowl.

And the spoon.

Why do I use the spoon for?
Stir to combine.

Pff. Right.
What do I use the spoon for?

My mistake. Carry on.

How badly do you want
These mashed potatoes?

You wanted
The mashed potatoes.

With tater tots,
I can just rip and dump.

Stick with
Your strengths.

Remastered brian eno
Coming up next.

[ knock on door ]
Who is it?

It's me.
"Me" who?

Rory, can you
Just open the door?

Do you have an
Extension cord I can use?

I'll go look.
Hi, come on in.

That's all right.
I don't wanna disturb you guys.

You're not disturbing us.

I'm dirty.
So is the house.

And if I come in there,

I'll see what you guys
Are planning on eating,

And I'll want to kill myself.

I am making a garden spring
Salad with three bitter lettuces

And a breaded
French country chicken.

Really? You are?
No.

So how's the boat coming?

Slow.

You should've built
A motorboat.

Extension cord.

I'll let you get back to taking
Five years off your life.

They were the five I would've
Been wearing fuchsia lipstick

Way beyond my lip line,
So I wouldn't want them anyhow.

See you tomorrow.
10:30 sharp.

Okay. That's it.
First course ready?

Ready.

Let's "Cop rock."

[ telephone rings ]
Hello.

I picked up my dress from the
Dressmaker, and it's a disaster.

What?

I got it home,
And it's falling apart.

I need you to fix it.

I'm coming over.
I need you to fix this.

What about
The woman who made it?

When a woman gives birth
To a crack baby, you
Don't buy her a puppy.

What does that mean?

I want this dress to be perfect
For tomorrow, lorelai.

It's the most important day
Of my life, lorelai.

It's not even the most
Important day of your marriage.

I'll be there
In half and hour, lorelai.

Hello? Mom?
But...

She's coming over.
Why?

'cause she won't buy
Her seamstress a puppy.

Something about her dress.
What're we gonna do?!

I don't know.

We can't eat all this
Before she gets here.

Most of it.
Sure, most of it.

But not the tater tots
Or the pizza tower.

We'll have to do
The evening in two parts.

We'll watch one "Cop rock,"
Eat this stuff here,

She'll come over, I'll get her
Out of here as fast as I can,

Then we'll
Continue with our evening.

Maybe we should put it off.

She comes, I fix,
She goes, we rock.

Now eat.

Whoa!

Ooh!

Hi, emily.
I didn't see you...

Standing there.

I'm just
Working on my boat.

You're building a boat?
Does it float?

Not yet.

Aren't boats supposed to?
Eventually, yes.

At least you have a hobby.

Thank god for that.

Idle hands and whatnot.

It will float eventually.

Oh, I'm sure it will.

Just have to do
A little more --

Well, I should get inside.

It was nice
Seeing you again.

Oh, uh, congratulations.

For what?

Your thing tomorrow.
Renewing your vows.

You congratulate the groom.
You offer the bride best wishes.

Oh.

Uh, best wishes.

Why, thank you, luke.
How sweet of you to say.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah,
I'm looking forward to it.

Mom, great, come on in.
Okay, so is that the dress?

Yes --
Let me take a look here.

Hi, grandma.

That wasn't
Your dinner, was it?

That was just
The appetizer.

That's a relief.

Mom, I don't see
Anything wrong.

Lorelai, are you blind?
Look.

Where?
Right there.

That bead and that bead
And that bead -- all loose.

I don't know how I missed it.
This is gonna take no time.

Five minutes tops.

Well, don't rush it.
No, no, no. No rush.

Three and a half minutes
And you're on your way.

You don't even need to
Sit, 'cause by the time
You do, this'll be done.

In fact, you should've just
Left the car running.

How you holding up,
Grandma?

I'm a wreck, actually.
Why?

Lorelai:
Two minutes and we're done!

I still can't decide exactly
What to do with my hair,

And I have
Absolutely zero faith

That my wedding planner's
Gonna be able to pull this off.

30 seconds. Someone clock me.
What are you doing?

Do you have
Anything to drink?

Why are you
Taking off your coat?

Some wine or some
Chilled vodka, perhaps?

You might wanna hold off
On having a drink, mom.

You're gonna be driving
In two shakes of a lamb's tail.

I could use
A little something.

Calm my nerves about
This wedding planner I hired.

Everything's gonna be fine.

I don't see how it can be.
Everything is so last-minute.

And I didn't even get
A decent rehearsal.

Mom, I have successfully walked
In a straight line before.

I can get you the cop's name
If you wanna talk to him.

It's too late to do
Anything about it now.

No, no, mom.
I'm almost there.

I'm almost there!
I'm done! I'm done!

[ telephone rings ]
Stop her from getting a drink.

Hello?

Lorelai, how are you?

I'm fine, dad.
How are you?

Oh, don't you worry about me.
I'm in good hands.

Isn't that right, boys?

Jeez, dad, hanging out
At the bathhouse again?

I'm at my bachelor party,
Lorelai.

And I just thought I'd call and
See how your gathering's going.

My --

Have a wonderful time, and go
As crazy as you think necessary,

But make sure your mother
Doesn't mix her alcohol.

Sometimes, when she has
A little bit too much vodka,

She forgets
And she goes on to gin.

I need her sober and looking
Beautiful for tomorrow.

Otherwise you don't have
To go through with it.

So, dad, mom told you
We were having a party?

She told me she was heading
Over to your house this evening

To spend a little time
With the girls,

So I put it all together.

I'm a very brilliant man,
Lorelai.

Anyhow, I won't keep you
Any longer.

Just return your mother in one
Piece, sans tattoos, please.

Okay, will do.

Have a scandalous time.
I'll see you girls tomorrow.

Okay, so here's a fun twist
For your viewing pleasure.

My father thinks my mother is
Here for her bachelorette party.

What?
Why does he think that?

I think she told him that.
Oops.

Were we supposed to throw her
A bachelorette party?

You're the maid of honor.

Aren't you supposed to
Plan these things?

I didn't think you had a party

When you hadn't been
A bachelorette for 40 years.

She's gonna hold this
Against me the rest of my life.

What do we do?

[ sighs ]

Davey had
Just fallen asleep.

Thanks for coming over here
At the last minute.

Is that --
Pot stickers.

Ah, I love you.

Hi, sookie.
Mm-hmm.

Go on in the living room.
The other living room.

You're gonna have to
Open your eyes now.

Hey, lorelai.

Gypsy, thanks for coming
On such short notice.

I'm always
Up for a good party.

Emily's in the living room
With the others.

Great. Who's emily?
I'll point her out.

Look, everyone,
It's gypsy!

Gypsy! Gypsy's here!
Everyone, gypsy's here!

Gypsy, that's emily.

Come on, gypsy.
Come over here and sit by me.

I have to say, lorelai,
I am loving this drink.

You ever have
One of these, gypsy?

I don't know.

It's called a rum and coke.

Babette: you may look
Highbrow, emily,

But underneath,
You're just a broad.

Did you hear that, gypsy?
I'm a broad.

How's it going?
Great.

What are we doing here?

I tried to explain it to her,
But it is not working.

We are throwing my grandmother
A bachelorette party.

But she's married.

They're doing it again.
But why?

They want to tell each other
They love each other again.

But why?

Because they do.
But why?

Because it's fun.
But why?

Because...

Hey, you lasted one more
"But why?" than I did.

So, emily, tell us about
This party of yours tomorrow.

It's going to be fabulous,
Isn't it, lorelai.

[ british accent ]
Ab-fab, sweetie darling.

Isn't she hilarious?

I never have any idea
What she's talking about,

But she's so entertaining --
Like a chimp.

Isn't she like a chimp,
Gypsy?

Please make your mother
Stop talking to me.

If only I had that power.

The party's going to be
Very, very big,

Flowers everywhere,
And my dress is incredible.

The woman who made it
Is a genius.

Babette: where's it gonna be?
The windsor club.

Ooh, fancy.

That
Ain't no toilet bowl.

No, it certainly is not.

It's the perfect place
To have my perfect wedding.

And what I had to go through
To get it, let me tell you.

Lorelai, the cup's empty.

It was booked up
Two years in advance,

And the sheldrakes
Have the rose room.

They were having
A retirement party

Or something ridiculous
Like that,

And they simply refused
To let us have the room.

They were stubborn and selfish,

And now after
All the strings I've pulled,

They are across town
At the bluestone club

With their piped-in music and
Their pornographic fountains.

[ laughing ]
You go, miss gotti!

I must say, this is the best
Bachelorette party I ever had.

I feel like
We should play games

Or have naughty gifts
Like edible underwear

Or dirty-shaped pasta.

Too bad we don't --
Oh, wait just a second.

Where's she going?

Gypsy, where's she going?

Ah-ha!

What are you doing?
Where did you get that?

You gave it to me.
Oh, yeah.

Mom, for you
On your special night.

What is this?

[ laughing ]

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god!
[ laughing ]

What are they laughing at?

Have a tater tot, kim.

My mother is asleep clutching
My "Hello kitty" pillow,

And yes, I have pictures.

I cannot believe how much
Rum grandma drank tonight.

How much rum she drank?

Hey, that's grandma's bag.
What are you doing?

I have no idea.
I am drunk.

Hey!
Come back here with that.

What are you doing?

There is no way I'm sitting
Next to missy hollerman.

Stop that.
That's grandma's seating chart.

I know.
I'm just fine-tuning it.

Oh, the ramsey's divorce
Must be legal by now.

Time for a little reunion.

You're evil,
And I'm going to tell.

Well, if you do, then
I'm gonna tell cousin drew,

A.K.A. The power spitter,
That you like him.

You're mean.

I must say one thing
For my parents,

They command a good turnout.

Hey, do you think
The sheldrakes

Will be unhappy
At the bluestone club?

I have no idea.

I do know that dinky shaw
Is going to be

Sitting next to
Her ex-husband's daughter

From his second marriage --
The daughter who's conception

Caused the second marriage.

Everybody should bring
An extra roll of film.

It seems mean, getting them
Kicked out like that.

It seems gilmore.
Mom --

Rory, this is how it works
In my parents' world.

Trust me,
The sheldrakes are busy

Screwing someone at
The bluestone out of something.

If you say so.

These people feel entitled
To get what they want,

When they want it, and they
Don't care who's in their way.

I hate that world.
Vapid, selfish.

It's like that life and death
Brigade you wrote about.

What do you mean?

Like a bunch of
Selfish rich kids --

Children of entitlement blowing
Off school, drinking for days,

Spending thousands on a stupid
And potentially dangerous stunt

Knowing full well they're
Not gonna get in trouble

'cause daddy is important.

You don't even know them.
And that's not what I wrote.

I didn't say those things.

You're just reading
Whatever you want into it.

Okay, sorry.

Because you have money,
That doesn't make you a jerk.

I know.
I didn't mean it like that.

So new subject?

Yeah, new subject.

[ gasps ]
Hey.

I wonder if my mother
Would notice

If she and dad were suddenly
At different tables.

Lorelai: have you seen
My sparkly venom lip gloss?

Rory: yes, I have.
It's at school.

Well, as long as it's safe.

Hey, what time is it?
10:35.

[ knock on door ]
Rory, can you get that?

I'm not dressed yet.

You're not? It's 10:35.
So?

That childish punctuality
Of yours has worn off.

My baby's a woman.

Luke: hello.

Luke.

The front door was open.

We'll be right there.

Rory: hi, luke.
Hey, rory.

You know your front door
Was open?

It wasn't like that
All night, was it?

Hey! You look nice.
You're not dressed.

Getting dressed there.

I didn't know you could
Get dressed there.

Rory, let's motor!

I would've
Gotten dressed there.

Okay. I'm ready.
Hey, you look nice.

Yeah, I didn't know you
Could get dressed there.

Don't worry about it.

You didn't mention there was
A place to get dressed there.

Oh, we're late.
Let's go!

Wait,
Aren't you gonna lock up?

Babette,
Lock up when you leave!

You got it, honey!

Oh, you look nice.

Please let them not be here.
They'll be here.

You tell them
You were running late.

You were
Running late, too.

My pants are all wrinkled
From the ride.

I look like I slept in them.

Stop being such a nancy-boy
About the pants.

You think hemingway ever gave a
Crap what his pants looked like?

Hemingway blew
His brains out, also.

How much of a role model do
You want me to make this guy?

Well, there they are.

Apparently, they're going
To change here also.

Sorry, rory had
A little emergency.

So did mom.

I hope
Everything's all right.

How is everything going?
Utter disaster.

That moronic wedding planner
Finally fulfilled her potential.

I get here, I go through my
Seating chart, and it's a mess.

It looked like a drunken
Psychopath took a stab at it.

I had to redo the thing.

It took me two hours
And years off my life.

Maybe she just got confused.

She did get confused about what
Her profession should be.

Anyway, I fired her.
That should clarify things.

Third ring of hell,
Party of one.

How could you fire her?
Who's gonna run the wedding?

Marilyn came into town early
For the ceremony,

And she offered to help out.

You know marilyn was a very
Intimate friend of cecil beaton.

He named
An end table after her.

And on top of all that,

Though we managed to get the
Sheldrakes out of the rose room,

The women's club
That owns this place

Has their painting class
At 4:00 in the salon.

They refuse to give it up.

Are you using the salon?

Of course we're
Not using the salon.

What on earth would we
Use the salon for?

Oh, luke, you're here.

Yeah, uh,
Have been, actually.

Richard, did you see luke?

No.
Why, luke, there you are.

Hey, mr. Gilmore.

Best wish--
Congratu--

Nice suit.

Thank you, luke.

I can have my tailor steam out
Those trousers for you.

Oh, richard, that's not what
He's wearing to the ceremony.

I'm sure
He's going to change.

Girls,
Let's go get settled.

Are you okay to hang here
For a while?

Oh, sure. I'm fine.
You go.

Emily!

Your florist is here,
And everything looks fabulous.

Really?

No, but it will.

Lorelai, you look divine.
And rory, that skin.

Gorgeous.
I can't find the words.

And who is this?

Oh, marilyn this is luke.
Luke, this is my cousin marilyn.

Nice to meet you.

You, too.

Is he a gardener?

Uh, no.
He owns a diner.

Oh, I've always wanted to
Have an affair with a gardener.

Apparently,
That's very in now.

Marilyn, we're going
To the bridal room now.

And I have gardenias
To deal with.

I'll see you
In a little while.

I'll be the handsome one
Holding the ring.

My favorite kind of man.

Tch, tch -- lorelai.
I need you to do something.

Ooh, spy voice.
Cool.

Focus, please.
I am a camera.

I want to give your mother
A present,

But I don't know
What her dress looks like,

So I need you to take these,
Wait till she's not looking,

Hold them up to the dress,
Pick the one that looks best,

Bring it back to me,
And I will give it to her.

Got it?
Got it.

Go.

Which one you want?

That one.
The other for my birthday.

Look at that.
It's so fancy.

Your grandfather has perfect
Taste in necklaces and earrings.

It's very important
To find a man

Who can pick out
Your jewelry.

Or steal it.

Where are you going?
To give dad back
The necklaces.

Hang your dress up first.

I'm gonna go change.

Oh, great.
Come back as thora birch.

Oh, lord, look at that.

Pierre has his work
Cut out for him today.

Stop it, mom.
You look gorgeous.

Lorelai,
Why am I doing this?

Oh, yes.
It is pretty, isn't it?

Pretty freakin' awesome
Is what it is.

Oh, my god, I'm so nervous.
I haven't eaten a thing all day.

Want me to whip up
A little pasta for you, mom?

Maybe I
Should take a seconal.

Excellent idea, judy.
All right, my dress is hung.

Lizette will be here
To do your hair any minute.

My hair's done.

Don't worry.
She can fix it.

I didn't mean that.
I'm just so nervous.

Why are you nervous?
I'm getting married!

For the second time.

It's a pretend wedding.
Jlo has them all the time.

It certainly feels
Like a real wedding.

We've been
Separated for months.

I'd almost forgotten
What it was like

To have a man
Around the house.

Oh, god, I missed him.

It's a wonderful thing
To have a husband, a partner,

Someone who's always there.

Lorelai, don't you think
You'll ever want to be married?

Well, um...

Actually, I do.

Well, that's nice.

Best man in the house.

Oh, my goodness, rory!
You absolutely look adorable!

Say, aren't you
The culture "Queer eye" guy?

Ignore her.
You look dashing.

Now go buy me earrings.
I like it.

It's not fair that
She gets to dress like that.

Your dress is beautiful.

But she gets to wear a costume.
Can't I dress like your maid?

It'll be whimsical,
And I can wear flats.

Get the necklaces
Back to your father.

You so like her better.

[ classical music plays ]

So, tell me, luke, have you ever
Considered being a gardener?

Uh, I'm not much good
At growing things.

[ chuckles ]
Oh, luke.

That's the least important part
Of being a gardener.

Will you all be seated,
Please.

I have known emily and
Richard gilmore for 20 years.

I know them to be two of
The most formidable opponents

The world has ever seen.

They complement each other.

They defend each other.

They were made for each other.

And today, in front of
Friends and family,

Richard and emily
Have chosen once again

To say to each other,
"I choose you."

How many of us in a lifetime
Get chosen even once

For something we really want?

Richard and emily,
Will you please face each other?

Please repeat after me.
I, richard gilmore...

I, richard gilmore...

And over here, we have
The romanov table.

Look at those flower
Arrangements.

Must have cost a fortune --
They're real orchids.

A little gayer,
Please.
I'm just saying.

Oh, wasn't the ceremony
Perfect?

The candles
And that judge...

I should've married him.

I was such a snob --
Wouldn't have a civil servant.

You're saving
A dance for me.

Oh, god,
There's dancing?

Yeah, they were doing
The one from "Pulp fiction."

Do you want to be uma?

I'll meet you guys
At our table later.

Oh, man, I've already seen
10 people I hate,

20 people I know, but whose
Names I can't remember,

And 40 people I don't know,
But expect me to know them.

A bar --
Thank god.

I need you to run
Major introduction
Interference for me.

What?

You have the advantage.
No one knows you here.

You can't insult them
By forgetting their names.

Vodka tonic.
And a beer.

When someone comes up,
I'll take a drink.

My mouth will be full.
I can't talk, right?

Then you jump in, offer your
Hand -- "Hi, luke danes.

And you are...?"

"I'm mr. Vlockenfeffer."
By then, I will have swallowed.

Oh, hi, mr. Vlockenfeffer.
I'm lorelai -- remember me?

"The bane of your
Mother's existence?"

Exactly.
Nice to see you again.

"Nice to see you again.
And nice to meet you, luke."

"Nice to meet you,
Mr. Vlockenfeffer."

"You kids have
A lovely evening."

"Our love to
Mrs. Vlockenfeffer."

Oh, look.
What?

My aunt totsie.
Lovely woman.

She hugs you, you'll smell
Like her for a month.

Yep.
Keep these coming.

[ big band music plays ]

Man: actually, it's not
That difficult at all.

You just start with the siblings
And count down even generations.

The children of siblings
Are first cousins,

The grandchildren of siblings
Are second cousins, and so on.

That makes you and cici
Third cousins because memaw

And your great-great aunt mary
Were sisters, see?

If the generations aren't even,

That's where you indicate
With "Removed."

For example, you're trip's
Second cousin.

But trip's daughter is your
Second cousin once removed.

So if cici ever
Has grandchildren,

They will be your third cousins
Twice removed,

Whereas they will be my
Second cousins thrice removed,

And my great grandchildren's
Fifth cousins.

Luke: it's very nice to
Meet you, bruce and susan.

[ gulps ] Hi, bruce.
Remember me? Lorelai?

Yes, it's nice
To see you again.

Susan: we should
Find our table.

Talk to you later?

Bye, bruce.
Bye, susan.

That's what
I'm talking about.

Mmm.

Oops, marilyn's
Getting totsied.

Oh, how are you doing?

You having a good time?
It's okay.

[ laughs nervously ] Good.
I have to tell you something.

You okay?

Yeah, um...
Christopher's here.

Oh, well, I guess
He knows your parents, so...

Yeah.

But, um, christopher's father
Died a couple weeks ago,

And he took it pretty hard.

He had a terrible relationship
With the man, and...

I went over there
One night --

The night before
The re-enactment.

I brought tequila,
And we talked and drank --

Just two old friends
Hanging out -- that's all.

You went over there.
To comfort him.

I know I should've
Told you about it.

I didn't because I didn't want
You to read anything into it,

And I'm telling you now because
He's here, and he might come up,

And I don't want you
To feel shanghaied.

Yeah, that would be bad.

I'm sorry, luke.

Nothing happened.
Please, believe me.

Hey, lore.
Hi, chris.
You know luke.

No, not really.
I'm christopher.

Yeah, I've heard
A lot about you.

You, too.

Luke and I are dating.
That's great.

Have been for -- what?
Four months now?

Man, time flies when
You're having fun, huh?

Big fun. Nothing sexual
Intended, although --

Sorry about your dad.
Yeah, thanks.

I told him about your dad
And the tequila.

Yeah, it was rough -- lorelai
Helped me just being there.

She's a very
Considerate person.

Hey, who likes my dress?
'cause...

Man, you should've seen the one
My mother wanted me to wear.

You're cutting off
My circulation.

So where's
That kid of ours?

Man: ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to present to you

For the first time this century,
Mr. And mrs. Richard gilmore.

Um, we should take
Our seats now.

See you later, chris.
We'll have a drink.

Something wrong?

Coffee sucks.

Thank you.
[ clears throat ]

On behalf of myself
And my second wife, emily,

I would like to thank you all
For coming to help us celebrate.

You are good friends,
And we are very, very lucky.

Now, in planning our
Traditional first dance,

I gave a lot of thought to
The song that would represent

The next phase
In our marriage --

The best phase in our marriage,
I believe.

I went over all the greats --
Bennett, sinatra, chuck berry --

And a story popped into my head.

Most of you know
My daughter, lorelai.

When lorelai was three,

She went through a period of
Having chronic ear infections.

It was terrible --
Screaming all night long,

We couldn't keep a nanny
Longer than a week.

That was terrible -- the searing
Pain was just a side note.

So it fell to emily to sit
With her all night long.

She tried everything
To calm her down.

Finally, she found a song
That seemed to soothe her.

It was a popular song
On the radio,

And it soon became
Emily's favorite.

Of course, it drove me crazy.

Some woman complaining about

How she wanted to marry
A man named bill.

Emily would tease me, saying,

"If only your name was bill,
Then this could be our song."

Well, emily, for tonight
And tonight only,

My name is bill,
And this is our song.

Hit the button, johnny.
Your hand, madame.

I cannot believe
You remembered this song.

[ the 5th dimension's "Wedding
Bell blues" plays ]

* bill, I love you so

* I always will

* I look at you and see
The passion eyes of may *

* eyes of may

* oh, but am I ever gonna see

* my wedding day

* wedding day

* I was on your side, bill

* when you were losing

* I never scheme or lie, bill

* there's been no foolin'

* but kisses and love
Won't carry me *

* till you marry me, bill

We should separate
More often.

Oh, bite your tongue.

[ both laugh ]

Man: at this time,
If you're in love,

We'd like to invite you
To join emily and richard

On the dance floor.

* oh, but am I ever gonna...

You wanna dance?
No, thanks.

Please?

I promise I will dance
Just as spazzy as you will.

I do not dance spazzy.

Then I will be the only spaz
On the floor.

Please.

I do not dance spazzy.

Thank you.

* but kisses and love
Won't carry me *

* till you marry me, bill

* I love you so

* I always will

* and though devotion rules
My heart, I take no bows *

* oh, but, bill,
You're never gonna *

* take those wedding vows

* wedding vows

You want some company?

Hey, kiddo.
Have a seat.

Quite a party, huh?

I'd expect nothing less
From your grandparents.

Pretty flowers.
Yes, not at all fake.

Do you like my suit?
I do.
It's very bugsy malone.

So, how you doing?

Me?
Oh, I'm fine.

I'm just...
[ chuckles ]

Did your mother ever tell you
About our first kiss?

No.

We were 14.

It was after school
In the parking lot of the a&p,

And she just walked right up
And kissed me.

Really?
Yep.

Said she just wanted
To know what it would be like.

I hope you at least
Bought her a moon pie.

You know, it never
Would have crossed my mind

To do something like that --

Just walk up and kiss someone
Because you wanted to.

But lorelai -- she always
Knew what she wanted.

Then she'd go out
And get it.

She never told me
That story.

No, probably wanted to make me
Seem more manly.

[ chuckles ]
Did you...

Did I what?

Did you like it that
She kissed you first?

Who could not like being
Kissed by a gilmore girl?

It was the greatest day
Of my life.

I'm gonna get a refill.
Can I get you something?

Nope. I'm fine.

Well, I'll see you
Back in the center ring.

Okay.

[ big band music playing ]

Eee.

Okay, there's a touch
Of spazzy in there.

Can we stop dancing now?

We can, but marilyn
Is right behind you,

And if we swap,
She's gonna swoop in.

There's nothing
I can do to save you.

Funny how marilyn's been
Standing right behind me
For the last two songs.

I know.
That woman is spooky.

This wouldn't be some ploy
To keep me dancing, would it?

Luke danes, I'm appalled
At the insinuation.

I should walk off
This dance floor right now

And leave you to your fate, but
I'm much too sweet to do that.

Uh-huh.

[ "Moon river" plays ]

Much better --
Lowers the spaz quotient.

I like the suit.
Cashmere?

I didn't know you were
Going to be here.

I thought you put
My name on the list.
Nope.

Well, it must be your
Grandparents invited me.

My parents are
Here somewhere.

So you came
With your parents?
Yep.

And...?

And what?

Where's the blonde?
She's at the bar.

Oh, well, she's pretty.

Yeah, want me
To hook you up?

No, I'm just saying --
What are you just saying?

That she's pretty.
That you brought a pretty girl.

And you look pretty together,
In case you were wondering.

Jill's a friend of the family.
I've known her forever.

She's visiting her parents
In town,

And she asked to tag along.

We're not dating.

Do you wanna dance?

After you.

What's that?

Yaah!

Totsie alert.
Move, move, move.

What?

Why did you come?

Open bar.

Quite a draw for a guy with
An american express black card.

Live band, salad,
Butter pats.

Little net bags full
Of jordan almonds.

Are you ever
Going to ask me out?

You flirt with me.

You act like
You like me a little.

You show up here with
A friend, not a date.

I mean, aren't you ever?

You do like me, right?

Oh.

Okay, uh, no problem.

I'll just, um, let you
Go back to your table,

And I'll start burrowing
Directly into the ground.

I should be in china
By midnight.

Rory.
You called me rory.

I want to be clear.
Oh, good.

I have thought about asking
You out several times.

I just don't think
It's such a good idea.
Why not?

Because you're special.

Special?

Like "Stop eating
The paste" special?

You're beautiful,
You're intelligent,

You're incredibly interesting.

You are definitely
Girlfriend material.

I, however, am definitely
Not boyfriend material.

I can't do commitment.
I don't want to pretend I can.

If I were date you,
There would be no dating.

It would be something right
Away, and I'm not that guy.

I'm not looking
For anything something-like.

Rory...
I'm not.
I've done that.

As a matter of fact,
I just did that,

And that's not
What I want.

I'm not saying you want
That right now.

No, I don't want
That at all.

No, I'm not
Expecting anything.

I just -- I like you,

And I want to spend
Some time with you.

No strings attached.

No strings attached, huh?

Hey, girls just wanna
Have fun.

Stringless fun.

You may feel
Like that now --

I do feel
Like that now.
Okay, but --

Where are we going?

How should I know?

You think I have
A plan or something?

Live in the moment,
Huntzberger.

Coming?

Champagne?

[ sighs ]

Look, you sure
You wanna do this?

I just wanna know
What it would be like.

I feel like
I'm kissing a guy.

And apparently, I had no idea
What I was missing.

[ clinking ]

[ cheers and applause ]

Here you go.

Oh, no!
You've been totsied!

Well, you left me alone.
I warned you about her.

I turn around and she's headed
Right for me.

What am I supposed to do?

Oh, man.
It's not that bad.

Thought I'd come by
For that drink.

Oh, man.
You've been totsied.

Didn't you warn him?
I tried.
He moved slow.

We've all been there.
Lorelai and I went to a funeral.

We got totsied twice.
Remember?

Um, no.
Come on, it was raining.

You were wearing your
"Hell is for children" t-shirt.

We snuck that flask in.

Sorry, no memory at all.
You wanna dance?

You'll get
Second-hand totsied, lore.

You should burn that suit
When you get home.

How's the inn? We had lunch
At the inn last month.

I know.

The inn is fine.

Marilyn: honey,
So sorry to interrupt.

Your parents want to take
A picture of the wedding party

In front of the cake
Before they cut it.

Okay, I'll just
Go find rory.

I think I saw her heading off
With that darling blond boy.

I've forgiven her
For not noticing

That I was chatting
With him earlier.

I'll go get rory
And meet you back at the cake.

I'll go with you.

Listen,
I think we need to talk.

I know, we will.
Let me try to find...

Grandma
Wants a picture.

Of this?!
What are you doing?

You're at your grandparents'
Wedding, renewal, vow thing.

They're right out there.
God, rory, I swear --

Chris:
Rory's in here?

Don't, chris.

What the hell are you doing
In here with my daughter?

Get away from her!
That is my daughter!

I will kick your ass!

I will kick your ass,
You little weasel!

Get out!

Who's that guy?

Christopher, calm down!
You're drunk!

There's a guy in there
Pawing my daughter!

There's a guy in
There with rory?!

Hey!
Get your hands off her.

Right now!
Hands in the air!

I wanna see hands
In the air!

Out!

I think you guys better use
The back way out of here.

But dad, luke --
I will take care
Of dad and luke.

Go, now!

So, um,
You must be logan.

Uh...Yeah.

I'm lorelai.
Nice to meet you.

Luke:
I'm gonna kill him!

Okay, I better...
Yeah.

It's none of your business
What's going on with rory.

It sure
Is my business!
Guys, please.

Rory is my daughter!

Oh, really?

Then where the hell were you
When she got the chicken pox

And would only eat mashed
Potatoes for a week?

Or where were you when
She graduated high school
Or started college, huh?

Who the hell moved
Her mattress into her dorm

And out of her dorm
And back into her dorm?

This is not the time.

Where I was
Doesn't concern you.

Rory is my daughter and
Lorelai's daughter -- that's it!

Well, I'm with lorelai.
For now.

What does that mean?
Is that a threat?

Lorelai and I
Belong together.

Everyone knows it.
Emily knows it.
What?

Look, I blew it, okay?
I know that I blew it.

You waited and I didn't
Come through,

And now you're with him,
But it's not too late.

It's not too late -- emily
Told me it wasn't too late.

That's why I'm here,
Okay?

I know you're with him,
But it's not forever.

Luke, I-I don't know
What he's talking about.

I got to
Get out of here.
Oh, luke, wait --

Christopher,
Get out of my way!

Please, stop.

Get away from me.
I just wanna talk.

Get some coffee,
Christopher!

This wasn't the way
I wanted it.

What are you doing?

I'm going after luke.

There you are!
I've got her!

Oh, you cannot keep
A roomful of anglo-saxons

Waiting for cake this long.

They start
To form more clubs.

Take her, take her,
Take her.

Wonderful.
There we are.

Okay, everyone in
Just a little closer.

That's perfect.
Hold that.

You and me --
We're done.

One, two, three.