All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E12 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Hey, you built me a shelf.
That's so nice.

I kept accidentally using
Your crazy toothpaste.

What's so crazy
About my toothpaste?
It's cinnamon.

I don't like cinnamon.
I like normal flavor.

What exactly is
This normal flavor?

You know, striped.
"Striped" is not a flavor.

It is
In the toothpaste world.

Ooh,
The toothpaste world --

Is that anything
Like who-ville?

I'm exhausted.

I'm exhilarated.

You know,
You don't have to do this.

Hey, going to bed early
Once in a while is good for you.

I have to get up at 4:00.
You don't.

Yes, I know, but every night
You have early deliveries

Is a night we spend apart,
And where is the good in that?

Okay.

Night.
Night.

[ sighs ]

Man, is it quiet.
Do you hear how quiet it is?
Mm-hmm.

Do you have a pin? 'cause
I want to hear it drop.
No pins.

It's okay. Sorry.

So, okay. Good night.
[ clears throat ]

[ sighs ]

Hey...Luke,
Why don't you have a tv?

I have a tv.

No, I mean in here,
In the bedroom,

So you can watch tv in bed.
I don't watch tv in bed.

Studies show that it's
Not good for your sleep.

What studies?

Watching tv in bed screws up
Your rem sleep patterns.

But charlie rose, jon stewart,
"Pink lady and jeff."

All screw up your rem sleep.

How does charlie rose
Screw up your rem sleep?

Because he's always got some guy
On pushing a book

About how everything's going
To hell

And they're gonna pass a law
Where everyone with a nose ring

Is gonna get shipped off
To a work camp in china,

And suddenly you're depressed
And thinking we're all gonna die

And don't drink the water,

And there's anthrax
In my bagel,

And bam --
There goes your rem sleep.

Or mel brooks is on,
And he is so funny,

And you think, "What a wonderful
World we live in

That there's a mel brooks
To go to sleep to."

Mel brooks is never on
Charlie rose,

And when he is on,
He's talking about nazis,

And then you go to sleep,
And you dream about nazis,

And they all look like
Nathan lane,

And you're creeped out
For days.

You know what ruins
Your rem sleep

Is those articles
About rem sleep.

And you know
What could help you

Forget those articles
About rem sleep?

What?
A television.

Say good night, gracie.
Good night, gracie.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Move butt, please.
In a minute.

What's wrong with doyle?
Mitchum huntzberger
Just left.

Logan's dad?
My entire body
Is numb.

What was he doing here?

Busting my chops,
Which are now numb.

My god.
My chops are completely numb.

Don't speak.
Don't speak.

So, mitchum huntzberger
Stopped by

Just to make various parts
Of doyle's body insensate?

He's a deep-pocket alumnus.

Every few months
Yale reels guys like him in

For banquets and luncheons.

Then he's in a limo
Into new york

To throw some party for
Seymour hersh on friday night.

Seymour hersh? The new yorker's
Seymour hersh? Wow.

He's my best contact
In the business,

And I fell
Like a house of cards.

I made that joke
About abu ghraib.

God,
That was inappropriate.

It wasn't supposed to be
A "Ha ha" funny abu ghraib joke.

Then he busted me that logan
Hasn't had a by-line all year.

Wants me to light a fire
Under him to get him to write.

"I'd like to hand my business
Over to my son, doyle."

He's gonna pass his empire
On to that playboy cad

While a rising star
Such as doyle

Is standing
Right before him.

In a pool of my own sweat.
It's kind of a minus.

I'm sure it wasn't that bad.

Now I'm logan's
Journalistic godfather.

I can't get the punk to show up,
Never mind write a story.

Do you even know
If he can write?

He's actually
An excellent writer.

How's that for god giving
With both hands, huh?

Usually when he gets the flu
Or the clap and can't party,

He'll throw us a bone
And write something,

And it's always good --
Damn good, stupid bastard.

Well, you are his editor,
Doyle.

Talk to him.
Assign him something.

I did. He was supposed to cover
The student uproar

Over assistant professor roarke
Resigning.

And he said, "Thank you,"
Left the room,

And I heard him laughing
All the way down the hall.

I haven't seen him here since.
I don't know what to do.

Um, doyle, I just finished
That piece

On the dissatisfaction of the
Faculty with the tenure system,

And I bet a lot of my notes

Would overlap
With logan's story.

Point, gilmore, point?

I could arrange to get together
With logan --

Share my notes with him.
Maybe it could get him started.

Really? You'd do that?

Sure,
If it would help you out.

Gilmore, I'm loving you
At this moment.
Moment's over.

Moment's over.
Thanks.

Anything for the team.

[ sighs ]

Okay, everyone remember
Your time cards.

Punch in, punch out,
Including lunch and breaks.

Okay. Now, next on the agenda
Is something very exciting --

The dragonfly inn's

First official
Sexual-harassment seminar.

Finally. Yes. Good.
Talk to them.

Sexual harassment is bad,
So no one touch anyone

In any funny places
Unless specifically asked.

Moving on --
That's it?
That's the seminar?

Where's the speech
About people

Not ogling other people
Like an object of desire?

How about explaining that
The way some people walk

With a sway or a bounce --
It is natural.

Just because we work out
And we take pilates --

No one touch michel.
Moving on --

Uh, billy, adam, you've got
To remember

To securely lock the padlock
On the stables,

Not just hook it on.

Cletus has figured out how
To push it off with his nose,

And two days in a row
I found him at reception.

Now, if he could just
Check people in,

That would be
A different story,

But until then,

Lock the stable
And check the lock and --

Kirk,
What are you doing here?

Staff meeting.
You don't work here.

I might like to go into
Hotel management someday,

And I figured this was
A good place to learn.

Aw, kirk, you can't just crash
A staff meeting.

"Outsiders cannot crash
Staff meetings."

I'm learning so much.

Okay, anything else to discuss
Before we wrap it up here?

Yes.

We have a problem with
Some honor bar discrepancies.

For the past few weeks,
After I have checked a room

And found
The honor bar intact,

The next day
Toblerones are missing.

What?

Only toblerones
And only in certain rooms.

I think we have thieves.
Or guests.

No, these are not
The guests.

The disappearances are happening
In rooms no one is staying in.

I think we have thieves, and
It's obviously an inside job.

This person is waiting
Till I've made my rounds,

They're waiting
Till I check my list,

They're waiting
Till I initial my list,

And only then do they steal
The toblerones.

Maybe you counted wrong.

I say we install
Surveillance cameras,

Fingerprint the staff,
Run the prints through the fbi,

And have mandatory searches

Before they leave
At the end of their shift.

Oh, well,
That sounds great.

Everybody drop your pants
For michel before you leave.

Meeting adjourned.

No food spread?

The staff meetings
At connecticut light and power

Always have
A lovely food spread --

Nice bagels,
An assortment of schmear.

Hey, kyon. I'm busy,
So, quick, what do you got?

Many things.
These come to house.

Mrs. Kim throw directly
In trash.

My sam ash catalogs!
What's that smell?

They land in old fish
And bok choy.

Figures.
What else you got?

My old madonna t-shirt!

Mrs. Kim use as a rag.

Says little whore's face
Good to scrub scum.

I wore this --
Ironically, by the way.

I was never into her.

Right.

Anything else, kyon?

Mrs. Kim having lunar new year
At her house this year.

She expect you to come.
Oh, she does?

She says not coming is same
As spitting on ancestors,

And ancestors no like spit.

Expects me to come?
Unbelievable.

After she attacks my boyfriend
On the street,

Damning him
To the fires of hell

And swimming
With carnivorous dogs,

And now she expects me
To smile and curtsy

And just go to lunar new year
Dinner like nothing happened.

Whoa.
I not your sounding board.

I deliver scoop, you give me
Monte cristo sandwich.

Fine. Sit over there.

There are some
Really good ones here.
Definitely.

Oh, our band pictures --
How are they?
They're all good.

Except the one of you
Looking between your legs.

I was just seeing
What works.

I like this one.
A tree's
Covering my face.

Come on, dude --
The good of the many.

What do you like, lane?
I don't like any of them.

You guys look good --

Not the brian with his face
Between his legs one

Or the one where you've got
Your finger in your mouth

And the peek-a-boo look.

That's what it is.
I was experimenting.

But I don't look good.
What are you talking about?

You look totally cool,
Like a real chick.

I look like
The korean buddy holly.

Buddy holly was cool.

Buddy holly
Was not an attractive man.

I find him attractive.
Don't say every thought
Out loud.

Can we retake them?
Like $37
Just grows on trees?

You're being too hard
On yourself.

Lane, we're not maroon 5
Or the gee whiz slicky boys.

We don't want
To look all fake.
Halfway decent
Would be nice.

Lighten up.
They work.

Miss, some more coffee,
Please?

At least she didn't say,
"Mister."

The lease on my mercedes
Is up next month.

Do you want to buy it?

I finally have the seat setting
Where I like it.

I'll make the arrangements
Tomorrow.

Thank you, richard.

Now, we need to schedule work
On the water heater.

I was wondering if friday
Morning would work for you.

Let me look.

They estimate the work to be
About an hour,

Which means they'll be done
In june.

I have a hair appointment
Friday morning.
For what?

What do you mean,
"For what?"

Your hair
Looks perfect to me.
Oh, now.

I can arrange for robert to let
The workmen in and supervise it.

Well, that would be fine.
Thank you, richard.

You're welcome, emily.
What's next on the agenda?

The modern museum gala
Is coming up.

Martin voorman
Is being honored this year.

And sugar farthington
Is organizing it.

Well, if sugar's organizing it,
Then, of course, you should go.

If martin's being honored,
Then you should go.

Sugar's one of your
Closest friends.

Martin is one of your
Most trusted colleagues.

Well...Then...
Perhaps we should both attend.

It does seem to be
The sensible thing to do.

All right.
Then we'll both attend.

Fine.

Um, so, have we discussed
The water heater?

Yes, we have.

Ah. More water?

Hey, ace.
Mm.

Hi, logan.
I didn't see you there.

Hey. Um, how are you?

I'm good.

Oh, good.

Well, good.

Okay, so, good.
Um, here they are.

These are the notes
For one story?

Yeah, I'm kind of
A note freak.

Man, ace, I'm impressed
And partially terrified.

Okay. Well, I've divided them up
Into sections --

So interviews, research,
Statistics.

I figured
There's something here

That can help you
With your story.

I hope you're getting
Extra credit for this.

Oh, it's nothing.

It seems like a lot of work
On your part,

Organizing it for me.

Well, I'm kind of
An organization freak, too.

Plus I'm sure
It wasn't your idea

To give up your evening
Like this

To come here and meet me...
Was it?

Um, I'm just doing a little
Public service, that's all.

Public service?

Yes. Doyle looked like
He was about to liquefy

After your dad
Talked to him,

So I chose to stop that
From happening

For the sake of
The janitorial staff.

Yeah. He has a thing
For by-lines, my father.

Apparently
He has plans for you.

Yes. Isn't that thrilling?
Sorry doyle took the hit.

My dad can be a bit of a bully
When he wants something.

He's a very
Interesting man.
You met him?

No, I've just
Read about him.

I mean, he's a big guy.

Maybe you'll get to meet him
Someday.

Oh, did I show you
How I divided these up --

Interviews, research --

So, how come
I never see you around?

I'm around.
Yeah? Where?

Class, coffee cart,

The student store
When I run out of thumbtacks.

Wow. Thrilling life.

I'm really not that boring.

Oh, I know
You're not boring.

Oh, doyle told me
That your dad

Is throwing a party
For seymour hersh?

Now, you want to talk
About boring...

How can meeting seymour hersh
Be boring? I love him.

I read "My lai 4"
When I was 12,

And I've been obsessed with him
Ever since.

You read a book about the my lai
Massacre when you were 12?

I polished off nancy drew
That year, too.

These parties always turn into
A bunch of drunks

Discussing stocks, cars,

And their latest friends
To be indicted.

I just go, take a date
So I have somebody to talk to,

And bail as soon
As my dad's back is turned.

Oh, so, you're going?

Daddy says.

Wow. Lucky.

No.

To spend the evening
With a great writer

And to get to meet him,
Hear him talk --

Very, very lucky.

You think so?
Definitely!

Well, maybe this time
It won't be so bad after all.

So, you want to get something
To drink or do you have to go?

No, I don't have to go.
I don't have anywhere to go.

Okay. Be right back.

Hey, lane.
Hi, lorelai.

Hmm.
You look different.
I do?

You always look cute,

But this is just a new facet
Of your cuteness.

Thanks.
You look cute, too.

I have a boyfriend,

So maybe this flirting thing
Should just end here.

I think so, too.
Coffee to go?

It's that special time
Of day.

Luke: aaah!
What was that?

It's been like that
For an hour.

It's the damn oven.
Damn oven!

What's up
With the damn oven?

I bought this damn oven, and
The thermostat doesn't work.

The damn thermostat
Or just the thermostat?

Are you being cute?
Sorry. Go on.

So I went out
And got a new thermostat,

And now I can't figure out
How to replace the damn thing.

So it is
A damn thermostat.

I don't have time
For this.

Come on.
You can do this.

Step at a time here.

You pulled the knob off each
Gas tap on the range, right?

Uh, yeah. So?

Then you removed the four screws
Securing the face panel

Then the panel.
Yeah, I did that.

Then you disconnected
The oven gas-supply pipe

From the outlet
Of the thermostat.

This is where I got stuck.

Did you release the oven sensor
Retaining clips

From the oven lining?
No. No, I didn't.

Okay. Got it!
Now just
Pull the sensor out.

You should be
Rolling now.
So, how? How?

How what?
How do you know this?

I couldn't get to sleep the
Other night when we went to bed,

And so I read
Your oven manual.
You're kidding.

It was either that
Or the broiler manual,

And the oven won.

You never cease
To amaze me.

I never will.
Bye, doll.

And, hey, leave the broiler
Manual out for me.

I'm into this whole
Kitchen-appliance genre now.

Kitch lit.
Hey, there, zach.

Howdy.
Hi, there.

Well, aren't we bouncy?

I'm in a pretty good mood.
Why is that?

I'm just feeling
Nice and light.

What's up with your face?

What do you think's up
With my face?

It looks all nude.
For a good reason.

You're not wearing
Your glasses.
That's right.

But you're blind
Without your glasses.

The wonder of contacts.
Contacts? Why?

Why? So I don't have
To wear glasses.

So, like,
For all the time?

Yeah. Are you okay?

I guess. That's a pretty big
Thing to just spring on a guy.

Why?
You don't look like you.

Yes, I do.
It's just me --

My face without being impeded
By a foreign plastic object.

But you're the first smart girl
I've ever gone out with,

And the glasses
Are a big part of that.

Well, my I.Q. Is still the same.
Contacts don't change that.

Now people will have to talk
To you for a few minutes

To figure out
That you're smart.

Well, then,
That's what they'll have to do.

I'll try to get used to it.

Yeah, and you will.

I'm sorry. Am I supposed to eat
My soup without a spoon?

She doesn't think that!
She's really smart!

She's just not wearing
Her glasses!

You should have heard him,
Richard.

Oh, I can imagine.
I had him on speakerphone.

When lori heard the screaming,
She ran in holding her shoe.

She thought
I was being attacked.

You're in good hands
With that lori.

I wish I had a secretary who
Would defend me with her shoe.

He may be mad now,
But wait till we go to court.

Well, maybe he'll settle.
Oh, he'll never settle.

He will if we send lori in
With her shoe.

He's already got his lawyers
Working on this.

We're gonna have to bring in
Outside counsel.

It's gonna get a little messy.
Who's available?

How about
Maurice newsome?
He over colognes.

Brier?
No, brier's on
The feeney case.

What about simon mclean?

I don't think you really want
Simon on this one, richard.

Why not? He's always done
A top-notch job for us before.

He's aggressive.
He's not sloppy.

He's very creative.
Yes, but, richard --

What?

We assumed you wouldn't want
To work closely with simon

Since the whole thing
With him and emily.

Ahh.

Yes.

Well...

What about brandt?

Brandt. Mm-hmm.
Brandt. Very good.

Terrific.
Brandt it is.

Well, apparently the padlock
Discussion was a big dud.

I just got a call
From mrs. Berg.

Cletus is standing
In her wading pool.

I need carrots.
Bottom shelf.

Oh, I love it when I talk
And no one listens.

Makes me think of home.

I just took the andersons
To room 3,

I opened the door,
And when I went inside,

I found that the bedspread
Was mussed.

The bedspread was mussed.
[ gasps ] Call a cop.

I checked that room personally
Last night.

It was perfect!

No muss!
No fuss!

Why are you joking?
Why?!

Do you not care that somebody's
Sneaking into our rooms,

Mussing the beds,
Eating the food?

Okay, I'm sorry.
You're right.

I do not need you
To tell me I'm right.

So, what do we think
Is going on here?

I believe that employees are
Clandestinely using our rooms

For sexual encounters
On their coffee breaks.

Lars and celia
Seem awfully friendly lately.

You don't notice them
Making goo-goo eyes?

And celia has put on weight --
Perhaps one too many toblerones.

I don't think lars and celia
Are having an affair.

Hey, maybe we've got
A ghost.

That would be cool.
People love haunted inns.

I wonder what kind of ghost
We have.

Maybe
A confederate soldier.

Or a lonely spinster
That never married.

Or patrick swayze.
In search
Of his lost career.

Maybe we have ghosts having sex
And then eating toblerone.

Ooh, hungry, horny ghosts.

I am done with both of you.

[ giggles ]

I guess I should go up to room 3
And see what --

Kirk,
What are you doing here?

I'm assembling
The bouquet garni.

I thought you hired him.
I did not hire him.

I might want to work
On a kitchen staff someday,

And I figured this was
A good place to learn.

Kirk, get out!

Can I at least finish
My shift?
No!

[ cell phone rings ]

Hello.

Hey. What's up?
We have ghosts.

Well, it's better than rats.
Listen, I need a favor.

From me?
Yes, from you.

Let me get out my list.
I'll write this favor down

Right under the one that says,
"Gave me life."

I may have a thing friday,
Which would mean

That I would need to get out
Of friday night dinner.

A thing?
I was wondering
If you could cover for me.

What kind of a thing --
A man thing?
Possibly a man thing.

Okay, spill. Who is he?
I don't want to jinx it,
Okay?

When I know it's a go,

I promise I'll fill you in
Completely.

I can't believe you're going to
Leave me alone with my parents

Just so you can have
A social life.

What happened to
The good old days

Of the spinster daughter
Taking care of the parents

And living a lonely,
Sexless existence?

So, you'll cover
For me?
Yeah. Bye, honey.

Hey, I just asked lars
If he was seeing anyone special.

He misunderstood,
And he might be filing

One of those sexual-harassment
Charges against me.

What?
And you 'cause I said
You made me.

Hey, hey! Michel!
Come back here!

I'll get him!

Okay, guys, let's try it again,
And let's try not to suck.

We'll get it.
We just have to focus.

Your "E" string's
A little flat.

Which makes it
A little bit more rock 'n' roll.

Okay, are we ready?
Count it down.

Eine, zwei, drei, vier.

Hey, could you not do
The countdown in german?

It's depressing.

Fine. 1, 2, 3, 4.

[ rock music plays ]

[ knocking on door ]

[ music stops ]

Who the hell is that?

I hope it's not
My girlfriend's husband.

Oh, that's fresh.

[ knocking continues ]

[ sighs ]

Mama.

You couldn't even hear me
Over that noise.

That noise is my passion, mama,
And you're keeping me from it.

"E" string was flat, too.
What can we do for you?

This year I am hosting
Lunar new year dinner.

You are to come.
Why?

You are my daughter.
Not coming is humiliation.

Have we forgotten the incident
At the newsstand?
The what?

You yelled at my boyfriend
In public, mama.

What's that
If it's not humiliation?

That is in the past.
Not for me.

You must come to this.
Oh, yeah?

Well, only if I can bring
My boyfriend.
What?

It's both of us
Or neither of us.

I have only enough chairs
For those invited.

You sell chairs, mama.
You have 800 chairs.

Fine. Bring boy.

But if boy comes,
I invite the parks.

I hate the parks.
You shouldn't hate
The parks.

You hate the parks.
I get to hate the parks.

Fine. If the parks come,

How about if I bring
My whole band?

How about that?
Will that work?
Yes.

What?
Bring them all!

The whole band?
Yes.

See you then.

But...

We're all invited to a party.

Here we are.

Are we early?
I don't hear anything.

That's a couple dozen christian
Koreans partying down.

Trippy.

Oh, cool -- bok jo ri.

They're used to separate grains
Of rice from small stones.

They symbolically catch
Happiness for the new year.

How do you know that?

I've done a little internet
Research on korean new year.

There's a lot
Of information there.

There's also
A lot of pictures

Of girls with tattoos
On motorcycles.

You would think it gets old,
But it doesn't.

Sorry about this.

I feel like I'm going
To the dentist.

That's not unusual when
Approaching the kim house.

I just hope I don't throw up
In the bok jo ri.

I got your back, okay?
You're not alone.

Are you sure they're home?
There's not a sound.

I'm sure.
Go ahead and knock.

[ clanking ]

Uh, gil,
The ac/dc ring.

Right. Sorry.

Hel--
Hello, mama.

I said we'd come,
And we've come.
I'm gil.

Yes.

And, mama, you know brian.

Say hay boke-mahn he
Pah du say oh.

He likes the internet.

Who's this half-boy
Hiding behind you?

That's zach, mama.
You've met him, too.

Happy new year, I guess.

Yes. Come in.

Well, looky here!
The fleet's in town!

Yep. We're having a little
Davey/daddy night tonight --

Just the men being manly.

Want to punch me
In the stomach?
I'll pass on the punch.

I wonder if you could
Do me a favor.
I don't want to pull
Your finger.

I know now's an important time
For you guys --

The inn's just getting off
The ground,

And there's a lot
Of extra work --

But if you could just encourage
Sookie to ease up a little,

Delegate --
Sookie, delegate?

I know, but with the pregnancy
And all?

And I know her hours
Are generally pretty good.

Most nights
She's home by 7:00.

It's just these new late nights
That worry me.
Late nights?

I just don't want her
To overdo it.
Oh, sure, sure.

But, um, jackson, I think
Sookie left before me tonight.

Oh, no. She called.

She said the new kitchen help's
A little slow.

Whatever.
I know she has to do it.

It's just every week now.
It's no big deal.

Just see if you can
Say something.

Um, okay.
I'll see what I can do.
Thank you.

Okay, son, I think it's time
To get you laid.

Oh, that's sweet.
Bye, boys.

Gretchen, I can still smell
The fish from here!

Well, funny running
Into you here.

You look very nice.
Thank you.

Do you have the directions?

I have an extra copy
If you need it.

I'm fine. Thank you.

All right.
I guess I'll see you there.

Seems inevitable,
Doesn't it?

Good eats -- slimy.

I'm enjoying it.

I like slimy food
'cause it slides down easy,

And I get the sense
It keeps sliding, right?

Which helps your colon and stuff
'cause it scrapes as it slides,

And since it's not in you long,
You don't get fat, you know?

Just eat.
You're not hungry?

Slimy food doesn't float my boat
Like it does others'.

I'll be right back.
I have to go to the bathroom.

You're not allowed
To leave the table.

Nature's calling, kid.

Nature must wait!

How's about keeping it down,
There, scooter?

Sit till we're done!

If I beat the crap out of this
Little kid, will anyone care?

Mama locks the bathroom door
While we eat anyway.

Super.

We are done eating.

There will be a 30-minute break
Till dessert

While mrs. Shin
And her fellow musicians

Play for you
In the other room.

Mrs. Shin,
Better start setting up.

Look at the funky guitar!
Awesome!

It's a gayangeum,
And if I'm not mistaken,

I believe I spotted a danso
And a junggeum on the way in.

I got to check this out.

Can I get up?

Yes!

Yeah, he can get up?

You have much knowledge
Of korean culture.

Thanks.

That was forward of me.

I should retire to my room
And sleep.

No. Don't do that.
It's okay.

Oh, I can't believe you've
Never seen "The office."

I feel very stupid.
Well, you should.

It's brilliant, especially
The fourth time you see it.

What happens the fourth time
You see it?

You can actually understand
What they're saying.

I have them all on dvd.
You can borrow them

But only if you promise to abide
By the fourth-time rule.

I'll abide
By your fourth-time rule.

If it's as good as you say,
I'll raise you a fifth.
Deal.

Oh, here.
I almost forgot -- your notes.

Oh, I hope they helped.
They did.

Some guy tried to mug me, and I
Beat him to death with them.

Hey, I like my research.

I like your research, too,
And thank you.

It helped?

The story's done, doyle's safe,
All's right with the world.

You're welcome.

So...

So...

It's been fun.
Yeah, it has been.

Okay, so, I should get going.
I'm heading to new york.

Right --
For your dad's party.

Yep.

So...

Have a good weekend.

Oh, yeah.

You, too.
Have a good weekend.

Don't be a stranger.

[ sighs ] Hey, kirk.

No messages.
Super.

[ indistinct talking
On television ]

[ key rattles in lock ]

Hmm, behold our ghost.

Wait. This isn't
What it looks like.

I don't know
What it looks like.

I'm just watching tv.

Because we have the convenient
Channel list next to the bed?

No, though it is
Convenient.

So, you want to tell me
What's going on,

You know, before kirk changes
Into his maid's outfit

And starts
To clean the room?

A few weeks ago
I read in the paper

That there was gonna be an
Episode of "Dark shadows" on --

The one where barnabas is
Released from his tomb --

And I just suddenly really
Wanted to see it.

So I didn't get off work in time
To get home and see it,

So I came up here,

And it was just supposed
To be that one time,

But the room was really nice
And I was really comfortable

And there were toblerones,
And I just had the best time.

It was an hour all to myself,

And the next week
It was another good episode,

And I just kind of...
Decided to haunt the place.

I tried to clean up afterwards,
And the bed was not mussed.

Michel is too anal
For his own good.

I'm horrible.
You're not horrible.

I am. I'm the most horrible
Person in the world.

Well, my mother will be sad
To know she's been dethroned.

I'm lying to my husband.
I'm eating the inn's candy.

You can't discuss this
With jackson --

Tell him you need one night
A week to yourself?

He wouldn't understand that?

Of course he would understand.
That's the problem.

Jackson would immediately
Tell me,

"Sit down. Relax.
Watch tv."

And he'll
Take care of davey.
Men are pigs.

And then I would sit there
Racked with guilt

Because he works
All day, too,

And I would think that I'm
Shirking my motherly duties,

And it would ruin everything,
But here --
I get it.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

Don't worry about it.
I think you should tell jackson.

He thinks I have you
Chained to the stove.

He's worried
You're working too hard.

I'll go home right now
And tell him.
Okay.

Of course, this is the episode
Where barnabas kidnaps maggie.

And imprisons her in a coffin
In the mausoleum's secret room

In punishment
For disobeying him?
Yeah!

Scoot over.
[ gasps ] Really?!

Yeah.
Ah, cool! [ giggles ]

Toblerone?
Mm-hmm.

These rooms are nice.
[ giggles ]

Excuse me.
I need a ticket.

Emily.

Simon. Well, this is
A pleasant surprise.

Are you waiting
For someone?

A mysterious man with an exotic
Accent and a red coat

To give me a ticket
For my car.

Ah, well, I wish you
A great deal of luck.

So, who are you here with?
My daughter and her husband.

They're right over there.
I'd love for you to meet them.

Diana, come here
For a second.
[ tires screech ]

What on earth?

Emily.

Richard,
Have you lost your mind?!

I misjudged the distance.

You misjudged the distance?!
You hit my car!

I was distracted.
Emily, are you okay?

I'm her husband, simon.
I'll ask her if she's okay.

Are you okay?
I'm fine.

She's fine, simon.
Are you happy? Now go away.

Emily, maybe you should see
A doctor.

We will determine whether
She needs to see a doctor.

This is a family matter.

I'll call you tomorrow
And see how you are.

She'll be fine, simon.
She doesn't need your call.

Do you hear me, simon?
Don't call.

Were you bitten
By some sort of rabid animal?

Let's go. You! You!
I'm taking her home.

I'll come back
For this car.
You'll what?!

You were just in
A car accident, emily.

You can't go to a party after
Having been in an accident.

Let's go.
What are you doing?

Maybe we should take you
To the hospital.

It's a toss-up who needs
A trip to the hospital more.

When you pull up
To a valet stand,

You get out of the car.
You don't dawdle.

I was waiting for someone
To take my car!

Well, you wait outside the car!
Everybody knows that.

It is not my fault
That you ran into my car!

I know you dated him.
What?

Simon mclean --
I know you dated simon mclean.

Richard,
I was just in an accident.

Now is hardly the time
To discuss this.

Fine.

I found out about it
In a business meeting,

Which was hardly the time to
Find out about it, but fine.

It was dinner.

Dinner --
Of course, dinner.

Nothing happened.

Of course nothing happened.

I wouldn't say it
If it wasn't true.

I told you that nothing happened
Between me and pennilyn lott,

That all we did
Was have lunch,

And I wouldn't have said that
If that weren't true!

Then there's nothing more
To be said about these things.

I agree.

People are staring,
Richard.

We're going.

[ engine turns over ]

[ far eastern-style music
Plays ]

Dessert is it --
We wolf it down,

We've done our duty,
We're out of here.

I'm counting the seconds.

Lane.
Yes, mama?

I need your help
In the kitchen.
My help?

Food got extra stuck
To pots tonight.

Need you
To pound the hammer

While aunt june holds
The chisel. Come.

Lane, come now.

I'm watching the music,
Mama.

We're watching --
My boyfriend and I.

Maybe when it's done.

Dirty plates don't wait
For gayangeum.

I ask you, you come.
I'm here as a guest.

And I didn't hear you ask.
I heard you demand.
Lane...

Because you don't offer,
As I taught you to.

Here we go.
Such insolence.

Lane --
You don't get it, mama.

Oh, I get it.
You're modern woman now --

Too big to chisel crust
Off plates,

Just standing there,
Grooving to gayangeum.

Mama...
New values --
Values I did not teach you,

Spending time with boys,
Living with boys,

Banging drums and playing noise
In a rock band with boys.

Mama!
Paint on your fingernails,
Gel in your hair,

So vain now you no longer
Even wear your glasses.

I've got contacts.
I don't need them.

You're not you
Without your glasses.

I agree.
What?
What?

It's just your glasses --
I liked your glasses.

I think you should wear them.
I'm just saying.

She should always wear them.

I've said it before, but
They made you look smart.

She's a smart girl.
Glasses fit her.

Totally.
Zach.

Glasses suit her face.

The black frames, especially,
With her hair.

She wore them in the 1st grade.
She first girl in her class.

And I bet she looked great.

I have pictures in a photo book.
I could show you.

I'd love to see them.
Wait, zach.

Come.
We chisel pots later.

Aww.

Oh, yeah!

Awesome!

You guys rock!

Do you know
"In-a-gadda-da-vida"?

[ key rattles in lock ]

I'll make arrangements to get
Your car to the shop tomorrow.

Thank you.

You might want to rethink
That lease, though.

Are you sure
You're feeling all right?

I'm fine.

[ sighs ]

I don't want to go back
To the pool house.

Come home.

Hey.
Hey.

What are you doing here?
Is it not
Friday night dinner?

No. I mean, yes,
But I thought you had a thing.

It wasn't a for-sure thing.
You made it sound for sure.

It was a maybe thing,
And now it's nothing.

Oh, you look disappointed.
I don't want
To talk about it.

Do you want
To talk about it?
No.

Not even to tell me
Who the guy is?

He's no one. Forget it.

Okay, well, the mystery of
The gilmore dinners continues.

Meaning?
The pool house is empty.

Grandpa forgot about us
Again?

Yes. Apparently
All the complexes

Incurred in my childhood
Were not enough.

Did you check
On grandma yet?
I'm on my way there now.

Is it marty?
Forget it, mom.

Okay. But is it?
No.

Oops. Ohh.
What are they doing
Together?

Are they arguing?
They don't look mad.

I'm so not
In referee mode tonight.
Grandma just laughed.

It could have been
An evil laugh --

A "I'm laughing at your pain"
Kind of laugh.

Looked like a plain old laugh
To me.

Oh, dad's picking up
An ashtray.

He's gonna throw it at her --
Finally.

No, no,
He's just moving it.

I don't get it.
What is going on?

What are they doing?
I don't -- holy --

Oh, my god.
My parents are having an affair.

Oh, careful.
It might be a trap.
What?

I don't know. I'm freaking out.
Does not compute.

Girls,
Wonderful to see you.

Come in, come in, come in.

Hi. You're just in time.

For what?

A celebration.
Ah, champagne -- perfect.

What are we celebrating?

Well, shall we tell them?

They're going to find out
Sooner or later.

All right, then.

Lorelai, rory...

Your grandmother and I
Have reconciled.

We are officially
Back together.

Really?! Oh, my god!

That's great!
I'm so happy!

When did this
Reconciliation happen?

Yesterday.
And last night.

And this morning.
Richard!

Don't ask questions.
Don't ask questions.

And next week
Your father and I

Are going to renew
Our wedding vows.

On our
40th wedding anniversary.

Ohh!

Wow. That's great.

And you're going to be
My maid of honor.

Excuse me, mr. Gilmore.

Mr. Jeffries from the
Windsor club for you.

Ah, yes.
Thank you, robert.

By the way,
I'm firing robert next week.

You won't need him.
No, I won't.

Richard gilmore here.
The gold room.

Uh, will you hold on
For a moment, please?

Emily, they say they can
Free up the gold room.

How are we supposed to get
A 20-piece band

Into the gold room?
No. We need the rose room.

The gold room won't do.
We need the rose room.

Well, perhaps they would be
Willing to switch dates.

We'd certainly be happy
To make it worth their while.

Of course I'll hold.

Richard, we just have to get
The rose room.

Don't you worry. Our company
Insures that building.

We don't get that room,
Suddenly they have

A very expensive foundation
Upgrade to go through.

I married a wonderful man,
Girls.

Yes, you did.

Uh, mom, hey, about this whole
Maid-of-honor thing --

Oh, yes. Richard,
Can you spare us a moment?

I want to take lorelai
Upstairs.
Of course.

Why do you want to take me
Upstairs?

Why doesn't rory
Have to go upstairs?

I'll finish this phone call,

And then rory and I
Will discuss

The possibility
Of her being my best man.

Rory: I'm going to be
Your best man?

What's upstairs?

[ gasps ]

Celine:
Ah, emily, wonderful timing.

Please start with
The oscar de la renta.

Susan hayward never wore
Anything but de la renta

In her final days.

Clark gable never knew
What he was missing.

[ laughs ]

He was a cad, but the crease
In his pants was immaculate.

[ gasps ]

Oh, my god,
It's natalie wood.

Hello, miss celine.
You look wonderful.

Olive oil on the inside
And on the outside, hmm?

Anna magnani
Taught me that.

I think this has
Too much lace, celine.

No, there can't be too much lace
As long as it's italian.

What do you think,
Natalie?

Yes, what do you think?
Whatever you want, mom.

You're my maid of honor.
I need your opinion here.

Well, I kind of like that one
Or even the one next to it.

I'll try them both.
You'll try them all.

I had the worst row
With dietrich once.

I told her, "Marlene, until
You actually become a man,

"You must try dresses on
Like a woman,

And that means
All of them."

[ laughs ]

Are you married, natalie?
Uh, no, not yet.

Actually, celine, she just
Opened her own business.

She owns an inn now.

Ooh, an inn.
How charming.

Emily, do you need breasts,

Or are yours sufficing
For the moment?

I'm fine for the moment,
Celine.

Oh, my god,
You're mary martin!

Take it off immediately!
Oh, dear.

Here.
Try this one on, mom.

You know, I'm trying to decide
Whether to go with a hat

Or some sort of headpiece
Or whether that's too much.

You know,
When I was dressing marilyn

For her wedding
To arthur miller,

I told her, "Marilyn,
Wear a flat hat on our head.

It will remind him
Of a book."

She didn't, and we all saw
How that turned out.

You wear whatever you want,
Mom.

Celine, I'm going to need some
Help with this zipper.

Oh, very elegant.

Very nice.

Ohh! [ gasps ]
There you go!

Mrs. Oscar levant
Loved that one.

Here. Try the dior
Just for giggles.

[ chuckles ]
All right.

I will never,
Under any circumstances,

No matter how short a dress
You put on,

Go back to al's pancake world
Ever, ever again.

Lorelai: aw, you didn't like
Your manicotti?

That was not manicotti.

It was square and flat
And blue.

Yeah, manicotti's
Rarely blue.

You know,
I've been thinking,

Uh, maybe I shouldn't go
To this thing of your parents'.

First al's pancake world and
Now my parents' vow renewal?

I'm not really
Their favorite person.

They don't really
Want me there.

I'm not their favorite person,
And I still have to go.

I know. I just --
[ sighs ]

It's gonna be
This big fancy thing

With all their friends,
And I just --

Listen, my parents
Are very weird people.

They don't hate you.
They just don't know you.

This is
The perfect opportunity.

They'll be happy.
They'll be smashed.

You show up,
Shake some hands,

Get in a few family pictures,

And my mother will be trying
To convince you

You're too good for me.

[ groans ]

Come on.
It'll be fun.

Good food, open bar.

I'm wearing a fabulous dress,

And, as maid of honor,
Well, if you're not there,

I'm gonna have to get drunk
And make out with the best man,

Who is rory, so you can see all
The very creepy ramifications

Of your absence here.

Okay.

Okay? Okay.

[ gasps ] Hey!

You got a tv!

Oh, uh, yeah.

Since when did you get a tv?

I just picked it up
This morning.

What about your rem sleep?

Hey, twice a week you're
Going to bed at 9:30

Because I have
Early deliveries,

So the least I could do
Is make sure you don't miss

Your charlie rose
Or your patrick stewart.
Jon stewart.

I can sleep through anything.
Once I'm out, I'm out.
Oh, I know.

So...Here.

Enjoy.

[ squeals, sighs ]

[ laughter on television ]

You are too good for me.

Well, maybe I'll meet a nice
Girl at your parents' wedding.

Time for "Teletubbies."

[ knock on door ]

Time for "Teletubbies."

* tinky-winky *

* dipsy *

* dipsy *

* laa laa *

Emily.

Wow. This is a surprise.

May I come in?
Yes. Please come in.

I didn't even know
You knew where I lived.

I know all kinds of things.
Obviously, you have a maid.

Yes, I have
A maid-nanny combo.

Ah, how mcdonald's of you.

Uh, can I get you something --
Tea or coffee or --

I'm fine, thank you.

So, this is the child.

Yes, this is georgia.
We call her g.G.

And her mother's still gone?
Yes, she's in paris.

All right. I'll come straight
To the point, christopher.

I have known you a long time.
I watched you grow up.

You were a charming boy --
A weak but charming boy --

And to be completely honest,
I never thought much of you.

It's great of you to come by
And share that with me.

However,
You have good breeding.

You come from an impeccable
Family, and you love lorelai.

You've always loved lorelai.

You would have married her
When she got pregnant,

And you would have married her
If that girlfriend of yours

Hadn't gotten pregnant
With this.

Lorelai's in a relationship now.
Did you know that?

Yes, I know that.

He owns a diner.
He's a divorcé.

He's uneducated, he's not
A proper stepfather for rory,

And he's completely unsuitable
For lorelai.

My daughter's stubborn,
But she's capable of greatness,

And watching her settle down

With a man who could hold her
Back from that is unacceptable.

You, at least,
Won't hold her back.

Okay, emily, I'm very confused
By this speech of yours,

And g.G.
Needs to be fed, so --

She's getting serious
With this man.

If you want a chance
With lorelai,

You had better
Do something,

And you had better
Do something now.

Timing has never been your
Strong point, christopher.

You should see if you can
Change that.

Goodbye, g.G.
Enjoy your program.

* tinky-winky *

* dipsy *

* dipsy *

* laa laa *

* laa laa *

* po *

* po *

* teletubbies *

* teletubbies *