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All: ♪ Don't show up ♪
2
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,842
♪ Don't come out ♪
3
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:12,679
♪ Don't start caring
about me now ♪
4
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,848
♪ walk away ♪
5
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,641
♪ You know how ♪
6
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,601
♪ Don't stop caring
7
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:21,187
♪ About me now ♪
[police siren wailing]
8
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,605
- OK, all right, all right.
9
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:24,441
Remember, kids, always pull over
10
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,652
quickly so that first
responders can respond first.
11
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,321
Their service deserves
our gratitude and respect.
12
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,449
- Dad, this cop is
pulling you over.
13
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,909
- Oh, come on. Come off it.
14
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,579
- ♪ It's true ♪
15
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:41,708
♪ The marriage that we
once had now is through ♪
16
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:45,712
♪ And now we're doing
all that we can do ♪
17
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:50,342
♪ To keep us all
together as a crew ♪
18
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:53,970
♪ Just do as we
say, not as we do ♪
19
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:58,183
♪ We really thought
that we were done ♪
20
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,560
♪ But we've just begun ♪
21
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:06,149
- Dad, if the speed limit's
80, I only saw you hit 76.
22
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,485
- Jimmy, when the cop
gets here, zip it.
23
00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:12,405
Hello, Officer.
24
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,573
How may I help you?
25
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,283
- Well, you can
stop by acting like
26
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:18,078
we're not at a Dunkin'
Donuts drive-thru.
27
00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:19,162
I clocked you at 85.
28
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,538
What's the big hurry?
29
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,332
- Oh, we were attending
a Dua Lipa concert.
30
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,709
Uh, Ms. Lipa puts a
little giddyap in my go,
31
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,461
if you know what I'm
saying. [chuckles]
32
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,588
- No, I don't know
what you're saying.
33
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,507
Oh. Wow.
34
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,801
Trey Taylor, the
owner of the Celtics.
35
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,010
- 'Tis I, Officer.
36
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,428
- 'Tis?
37
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,514
- You know, I gotta
say, regardless
38
00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:39,200
of how the Celtics have
been playing lately,
39
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:42,227
you got nothing
to be ashamed of.
40
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:43,603
- I appreciate that.
41
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:44,562
- I agree.
42
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,064
I mean, despite valid criticisms
43
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,691
of some recent
front office moves,
44
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:50,652
these talk radio schmucks ought
to leave Trey alone and tackle
45
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,755
the despair that the Patriots
have lately perpetrated
46
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,739
on our commonwealth.
Am I right?
47
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,117
- Don't go dragging Bill
Belichick into this.
48
00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,660
- Oh, no, I was just...
49
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:02,080
- Bill Belichick has brought
immeasurable joy into my life.
50
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,456
- Coach Belichick
is a great man.
51
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,709
- A great man.
An icon, a giant.
52
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,085
It's why I named
my son after him.
53
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,211
- Wait, my name's...
54
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,713
- Not now, Billy.
55
00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:11,381
- Hey, would you
mind autographing
56
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:12,716
a basketball for me?
57
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,300
- Only if you'll
accept it as a gesture
58
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:17,137
of my gratitude for all you do
in service to this fair city.
59
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:18,638
- This guy.
60
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,724
You know, in light
of all the things
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00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,910
that your charitable foundation
does for the city of Boston,
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00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,602
I'm going to let your
fair-weather Pats
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00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,354
fan of a driver here
off with a warning.
64
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,273
- Oh, no, I'm not his driver.
65
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,734
I'm his fiancée's ex-husband.
66
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:31,985
- Wow.
67
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,361
How magnanimous of you.
68
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,780
To give your fiancée's ex a job?
69
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,991
My ex's fiancé is lucky
he's not at the bottom
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00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,285
of the Charles River.
71
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,619
I'll be back in two secs.
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00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,788
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
73
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,790
- Thank God you're not
going to the slammer, Dad.
74
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,959
- Don't thank God. Thank Trey.
75
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,919
He's the one signing
the ball to save Dad.
76
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,005
Trey's your Get Out
of Jail Free card.
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00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:54,674
- You're a superhero, Trey.
- Super Trey-Man.
78
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,427
- [chuckles] Oh, kids, go on.
79
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:58,928
- Here you are, Mr. Taylor.
- Oh.
80
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,388
- There you are.
81
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:04,684
You know, listen up
there, Vin Diesel.
82
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,645
Your lawbreaking reflects
poorly upon Mr. Taylor.
83
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,707
So why don't you take a little
fast out of that furious,
84
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,792
or next time I'll give you
a ticket you'll cry about?
85
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:13,151
You got me?
86
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:17,238
- Well, while I appreciate
the gesture, Officer,
87
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,866
I'd like the ticket now.
88
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,910
- You want the ticket?
- I want the ticket.
89
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,554
- I'm not giving you a ticket.
- Please give me the ticket.
90
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:24,972
- I don't care how
nicely you ask me.
91
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,456
I'm not giving you a ticket.
92
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,641
- It's my constitutional
right to pay the piper when
93
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,125
the piper requires payment.
94
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,478
- Ask me one more time, I'll
take you in for psych eval.
95
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,045
Just slow the hell down.
96
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,714
Oh, Mr. Taylor, thank you.
97
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,759
You know what, here's my card.
98
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,071
If you're ever in a rush, or
even if you're not in a rush,
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00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,429
give me a buzz.
100
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,240
I'll spin the siren and
clear the way for you.
101
00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,392
Go, Celtics!
102
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:50,355
- Because of Trey, the laws
don't apply to us anymore, Dad.
103
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,440
- Yes, they do.
- Not when Trey's around.
104
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,234
- Trey, will you
take us shoplifting?
105
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,736
- Pick the day,
Jimmy. Pick the day.
106
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:57,904
- Trey, Trey!
107
00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,864
[both chanting] Trey,
Trey, Trey, Trey!
108
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:00,907
- ♪ Say my name ♪
109
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,243
- Trey.
- ♪ Say it again ♪
110
00:04:07,627 --> 00:04:08,977
- Yeah!
111
00:04:09,002 --> 00:04:10,557
All right, now, kids,
remember, if you
112
00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:13,853
find yourself in my position,
be grateful, be humble.
113
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:16,965
And if not, you best be sure
you don't cross Johnny Law.
114
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,509
Am I right, Jim?
115
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,219
- Hey. How was the concert?
116
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,846
- Amazing.
- So good.
117
00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,222
- Breathtaking.
118
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,142
- Mom, when Dua Lipa
dances, it makes me wish
119
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,811
I was a piece of her clothing.
120
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,248
- When I was your age,
I wanted to be a piece
121
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,398
of Janet Jackson's clothing.
122
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,608
- [clears throat]
123
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:39,320
Uh, Jim, did Dua
Lipa disappoint you?
124
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,365
- Dua Lipa could
never disappoint me.
125
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,700
- Trey, you know what would make
126
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,535
a perfect end to this evening?
127
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,579
Some of your famous
ice cream sundaes.
128
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,538
- Yes!
129
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,081
- You don't have
to tell me twice.
130
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,334
To the kitchen we ride!
131
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,085
[both chanting] Trey,
Trey, Trey, Trey!
132
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,838
- Say my name! Say my name!
133
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,969
- You look sad.
134
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,012
- I'm not sad.
135
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,055
- You don't look happy.
136
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,182
- I'm not happy.
137
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,451
- So tell me what you look like.
138
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,809
- Concerned.
139
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:10,935
Startled.
140
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,813
Some might say shook.
141
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,565
Look, I was gonna
sleep on this, Julia,
142
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,400
but I'm afraid we have an issue.
143
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,194
I got pulled over
for speeding tonight.
144
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,779
- So you meant
you have an issue.
145
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,405
[laughs]
146
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,698
I'm sorry I'm laughing.
147
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,116
It's happening involuntarily.
148
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,160
How much was the ticket?
149
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,536
- I got off with a warning.
150
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,222
- Did you cry and tell
him that your mom died?
151
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:32,415
That's what I'd do.
152
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,751
Come on. Now, where's
the victory smile?
153
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,544
- My victory smile
is in hibernation
154
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,963
because we still have an
issue, an issue named Trey.
155
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,298
- How is Trey the issue?
156
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,260
- Your fiancé got me off.
157
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,013
Out. Trey got me
out of the ticket.
158
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,973
- That bastard.
159
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,600
- It was alarming.
160
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,060
Apparently, the
coin of the realm
161
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,270
is no longer character,
conduct, and contrition.
162
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,815
It's fame, wealth, and status.
163
00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,835
- Let's focus on
what's really alarming,
164
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,904
you speeding like a maniac
with our children on board.
165
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,657
- Oh, 85 is not maniacal.
166
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,535
And I would have paid my
fair share of the Boston PD's
167
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,954
revenue-raising shakedown,
had officer Jock
168
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:15,083
Sniffer McFanboy not
made a complete mockery
169
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,751
of the rule of law.
170
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,629
I am afraid that our children's
proximity to Teflon Trey
171
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,090
is poisoning their minds.
172
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:24,592
- Trey has worked his whole
life to get to where he is.
173
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,820
- Well, I've haven't
known him his whole life,
174
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,596
so I don't know if that's true.
175
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,849
But you know who
hasn't worked hard?
176
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,475
Our kids. They
have done nothing.
177
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,645
Nothing.
- Yeah, they're kids.
178
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,564
- Yes, barely out
of diapers, and they
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00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:38,708
expect the world is
going to treat them
180
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,150
the same way it treats him.
181
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,694
Roll out the red carpet
and sprinkle it with caviar
182
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,864
and solid gold jelly beans.
183
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,617
Trey lives this ridiculous
life of platinum rainbows
184
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:52,996
and limousine lemonade.
185
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,081
We are at a vital
crossroads, Julia.
186
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,042
Trey's world is not the
world our kids live in.
187
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,293
- Hey, guys.
188
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,794
We don't have any whipped cream,
189
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,689
so Trey's having a chef
from the Ritz named ASAP
190
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,882
come over and bring us some.
191
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:07,302
Keep an ear out for
the door, would ya?
192
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,596
- See?
193
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,032
They need to be taught that
no one in the real world
194
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:13,183
is exempt from life's three
unchangeable realities.
195
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,476
- Which are?
196
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:18,146
- Pain, loss, and
ceaseless struggle.
197
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,523
- I think your instinct to
sleep on this was correct.
198
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:23,693
Let's revisit this after
you get a lobotomy.
199
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,528
- Mom, you were right.
200
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,906
Trey makes the best
ice cream sundaes.
201
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,367
- Trey, you gotta come to
my basketball game tomorrow.
202
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,951
You're the family
good luck charm.
203
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,496
- It's at St. Mary's in
Watertown, 20-minute drive.
204
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,498
But for you, only 10.
205
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,707
- Can't wait.
206
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,185
- Can you take us
to rob a bank after?
207
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,003
- Bank first, and then we'll
knock over a liquor store.
208
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,214
[knocking on door]
209
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,548
Hey.
210
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,758
- Oh, are you ASAP?
211
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,510
- [chuckles] Thank
you very much.
212
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,387
Kids, have at it.
213
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,764
There's extra for you, Jim.
214
00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,841
- Hoo-hoo.
- Hey, new pajamas.
215
00:08:01,866 --> 00:08:03,541
I love your new pajamas.
216
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:06,528
- Custom-made from Italy,
on back order for a year.
217
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,738
Feel me up.
- OK.
218
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,383
But you know what happens
when I start touching you.
219
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,034
[both chuckle]
220
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,370
- Oh, my god, what kind
of material is this?
221
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,205
- This is Turkish mindworm silk.
222
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,498
- Oh.
223
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,166
- Essentially, the
Kobe beef of silk.
224
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:24,295
Or maybe Kobe beef is the
Turkish mindworm silk of beef.
225
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:28,550
Anyway, it was great being
with Grace and Jimmy.
226
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,218
They're terrific kids.
227
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:32,762
They really seemed like they
were interested in forming
228
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,180
a relationship with me.
229
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,741
- It's because of how
you are with them.
230
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,350
You constantly make an effort.
231
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,519
- It's not an
effort. It's fun.
232
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:40,729
- Hm.
233
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,605
So how much do
these pajamas cost?
234
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,690
- Three.
- Hundred?
235
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,276
- Thousand.
- $300,000?
236
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,986
- $3,000.
- Oh.
237
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,321
[chuckles] That's still
a lot for pajamas.
238
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,198
- Is it?
239
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,035
- Jim mentioned that, uh,
you got him out of a speeding
240
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:55,994
ticket tonight.
241
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,037
- Uh-uh.
242
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,913
The cop was a fan.
What can I say?
243
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,081
I got fans.
244
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,600
- Yes, you do, and
I'm your biggest one.
245
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,501
[both chuckle]
246
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,421
- Dagnabbit.
247
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,881
I got toothpaste on my PJs.
248
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,507
- Oh.
[sensor beeps]
249
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,259
Uh, hon...
250
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,346
- Those PJs are garbage.
251
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,056
- Say what?
252
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:19,309
- Toothpaste wreaks
havoc on mindworm silk.
253
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,394
Those things are
basically ruined.
254
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,772
- Well, why don't you just
brush your teeth before you
255
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,898
put on your pajamas?
256
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,900
- Because I'll be
brushing my teeth naked.
257
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,611
- Hey, give a girl a thrill.
258
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,655
- Thankfully, I
bought an extra pair.
259
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,133
Of course now I'm going
to need a new backup pair.
260
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,117
I'll get some for you
and the kids, too.
261
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,243
Give me everyone's sizes.
262
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,620
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
263
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,456
Uh, size zero for me.
264
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,999
But let's hold off on the kids.
265
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,835
You know, I don't want them
to get used to wearing $3,000
266
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,962
pajamas, grow out of
them, only to go back
267
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,756
to wearing real-world pajamas.
268
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,966
- Why would they
ever have to go back
269
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,760
to wearing real-world pajamas?
270
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,470
They live in my world now.
271
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:58,765
- Jim thinks your lifestyle
is poisoning the kids' minds.
272
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,602
- Fine, I don't have
to buy them pajamas.
273
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,146
- Well, he said that
you getting him out
274
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:08,483
of the speeding ticket gave
them a warped impression
275
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,609
about how life works.
276
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:12,278
- [scoffs]
277
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,656
Well, Jim is blowing
this out of proportion.
278
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,658
Babe, I didn't big-time the cop.
279
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,326
I didn't say, do
you know who I am?
280
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,746
The man handed me a
basketball, and I signed it.
281
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,206
This is lunacy.
282
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,542
Jim was embarrassed,
and now he's deflecting.
283
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,168
- He does deflect
when he's embarrassed.
284
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,712
He does.
285
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:32,340
- Here I am, a self-made man,
and I can't stand in my own
286
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:36,094
living room wearing my
backup mindworm silk pajamas,
287
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,971
brushing my teeth
without this hassle.
288
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:39,848
- I will talk to him.
- No, no.
289
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,575
There will be no more
talks around this issue.
290
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,309
In this family,
there'll be no more
291
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,436
talking through each other.
292
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,979
We will talk to each other.
293
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,189
And Jim and I need to
get on the same page.
294
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,567
Handle this man to man.
295
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,235
Oh!
296
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,737
- Oh, God.
297
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,159
Almost ruined my
fourth pair this year.
298
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,373
- Jim, that's some
shower you've got.
299
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,208
- Dad, you got a
shower at your place.
300
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,335
- Not like your shower.
301
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,420
Your shower, the
water falls from above
302
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,298
like a gentle summer rain.
303
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:17,719
My shower smacks me in
the face by just having
304
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,971
the nerve to clean myself.
305
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:23,183
Yesterday, I almost
lost a nipple.
306
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,060
- Well, you can
use mine any time.
307
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,645
- Can I use your new
butt washer you got?
308
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,564
- The bidet? That's Julia's.
309
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,899
You gotta to ask her.
310
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,942
- I am not going to ask
my former daughter-in-law
311
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:35,570
if I can use her ass spritzer.
312
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,654
- How's she going to know?
313
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,739
- Oh, trust me.
314
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,699
She'll know.
315
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,161
Hey, you all right?
316
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,829
- I'm just thinking
about the kids.
317
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,040
I'm worried that they're
getting too spoiled
318
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:48,291
from hanging around with Trey.
319
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,793
- Ha!
320
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,045
You should have seen
yourself when I spoiled you.
321
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,798
Remember that Sting-Ray bike I
got you with the banana seat?
322
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,091
- Oh, I love that banana seat.
323
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,468
- Every kid had a
bike, but no one had
324
00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,803
a Schwinn with a banana seat.
325
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:04,140
And, boy, were you
a jackass about it.
326
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,225
What?
327
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,976
Your bike doesn't
have a banana seat?
328
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,938
'Cause my bike's a Schwinn
Sting-Ray with a banana seat.
329
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,649
Hey, girls, want to
ride on my banana seat?
330
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:13,900
See?
331
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,986
It's shaped like a banana.
332
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:22,117
I wanted to take a sledgehammer
to you and that banana seat.
333
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,993
But you snapped out
of it eventually.
334
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,620
- What happened?
- What always happens.
335
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,122
Life knocks you down.
336
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,958
In your case, Jeffy
Droyel got a mini bike.
337
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,711
And all the girls who were
riding on your banana seat
338
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,964
decided they'd rather
go joyriding with Jeffy.
339
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,049
And I wanted to
teach you about life,
340
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,301
so I did not buy
you a mini bike.
341
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:43,805
I took your mini bike money
and went to Atlantic City
342
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,891
and nearly got divorced.
343
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:50,103
- And yet somehow you never
won father of the year.
344
00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:53,606
- But look how great
you turned out.
345
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,275
- So you think the
kids will be OK?
346
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:58,862
- Son, Grace and
Jimmy are good kids.
347
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,197
Trust your own
influence on them.
348
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,782
- Mm, yeah.
349
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:03,867
Thanks, Dad.
350
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,160
I needed that.
351
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,995
- That's what I'm here for.
352
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:10,749
That plus the perfect
water pressure.
353
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,336
Speaking of which, I'm going
to go do a pinch and a rinse
354
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,546
before I go.
355
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,507
[upbeat music]
356
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,886
♪ ♪
357
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,392
- Plenty of seats, guys.
358
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:32,062
Feel free to spread out.
359
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,855
- I'd like to have a
word with you, Jim.
360
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:35,899
- That's fine, but
I can smell the fish
361
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,400
tacos you had for lunch.
362
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:42,113
So maybe a little
daylight between us?
363
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,924
- If you thought I was
corrupting your kids' minds,
364
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,092
you should have just said so.
365
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,202
- I did say so.
- Yeah, Julia, not to me.
366
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:50,372
- You're a couple. Telling
Julia is telling you.
367
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,708
If you want, I could tell
Julia now that you should
368
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:57,128
never mind what I said before.
369
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,630
I'm not poisoning
your kids' minds.
370
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,048
- I know you're not.
371
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,400
- I'm a positive
force in their life.
372
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,634
- I agree.
373
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,861
- And it's not my fault
the cop let you go.
374
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,095
- You're right.
375
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,197
- I'm trying to
argue with you here.
376
00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:07,806
What's the matter with you?
377
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,391
- You know, I had a
good night's sleep,
378
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,727
and my dad reminded me that
I was once a young jackass.
379
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,604
And I agreed.
380
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,564
- Wait, so in the
light of day, you
381
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,366
are admitting that Trey
is not trying to make
382
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,984
our kids into jackasses?
383
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,488
- Yes, the new day has given me
the clarity to know that Trey
384
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,073
is not corrupting our kids.
385
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,742
- Look, pal, if I wanted
to ask a cop for a favor,
386
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,328
it wouldn't have been that.
387
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,830
I'm a regular guy.
388
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,581
- With a private jet,
a basketball team,
389
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,084
and a heart of gold.
390
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:39,796
And an apology from yours
truly for overreacting
391
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,965
to your generosity and goodwill.
392
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:44,884
- I gotta hand it to Jim.
393
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:47,429
It takes a big man to
admit when he's wrong.
394
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,348
But it takes just as
big a man to accept
395
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,975
that apology gracefully.
396
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:54,894
Maybe even a
slightly bigger man.
397
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:58,314
But, hey, listen, this
is not a competition.
398
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,066
- Hey, Trey. Where's Mom?
399
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,901
- She and your dad
went to go get popcorn.
400
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,361
- Oh, before the game starts,
401
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,613
can we get a photo with my
friends Maeve and Chevonne?
402
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,198
- Absolutely.
403
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,784
Maeve and Chevonne, say cheese.
404
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,202
- Cheese.
- [chuckles]
405
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,204
- Grace said you
have a private jet.
406
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,956
- And that you'd take
us to Tahiti on it.
407
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,751
You're so nice.
- [chuckles]
408
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,544
- Trey, this is so great.
409
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,314
I'm not sure they're the
friends I'm going to bring.
410
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:23,506
I have to see how well they
do on my homework first.
411
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,592
But thank you.
412
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,013
- Trey.
- Yeah?
413
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,240
- Told Coach Bernie
here you'd give him
414
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,141
a coaching job with
the Celtics if he runs
415
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,517
today's offense through me.
416
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,019
- Big fan.
417
00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:38,605
I can't wait to tell my boss
at Foot Locker to shove it.
418
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,440
Thank you.
419
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,734
- I gave him your cell.
He'll hit you up Monday.
420
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,486
Thanks for making it work.
421
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,322
- Jim was right all along.
422
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,699
I had corrupted his
children's minds.
423
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,868
And I could either admit
that... not an option...
424
00:15:57,926 --> 00:16:00,731
- Mm, I gotta say,
Trey, your car smells
425
00:16:00,756 --> 00:16:02,045
way better than the tea.
426
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,175
Thanks for the ride.
- Mm.
427
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,881
Hey, tough loss, Jimmy.
428
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,132
But you played your heart out.
429
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,592
- Nah, my shot was off.
430
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:08,760
- Shots.
431
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:09,928
You took all of them.
432
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:10,970
- Players gotta play.
433
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,722
- You fouled out
before halftime.
434
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:14,265
- I got no calls.
435
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,892
Trey, you need to
set the referee
436
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,185
straight the next game.
437
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,454
Tell him who's who
and what's what.
438
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,522
- Mm.
439
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,523
Hey, you done with that?
440
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,316
- Pretty much.
441
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,654
- Trey, what the
hell are you doing?
442
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,615
- When I was six, I threw
some trash out the car window.
443
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,866
I thought it was funny.
444
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,159
My dad didn't.
445
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,953
He told me that most
of the kids in juvie
446
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,705
got sent there for littering.
447
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,039
I never forgot that.
448
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,376
And I never littered
again, until that night.
449
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,213
- Trey, stop it.
450
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,899
- Just cleaning up. Grace,
you done back there?
451
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,425
- Yes, sir.
452
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,385
- Thank you.
453
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,053
[sighs]
454
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:54,139
- No, no, no. I'm
still working on mine.
455
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,057
- How about you, Jimmy?
- Can I throw it?
456
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,935
- No. Trey, stop the car.
457
00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:00,020
- Yep!
458
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,104
- Don't make me jump out.
459
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,480
- You're not going to do that.
460
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:03,565
- Ah, she's done it.
461
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,649
Lake Tahoe, 2010.
462
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,443
Granted, there was snow.
463
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,323
- I just need some fresh air.
464
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,868
Everybody, just give
me a minute, please.
465
00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:17,370
- [sighs]
466
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:20,665
I'm going after her.
467
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,000
- Yes, yes.
468
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,210
But as a man with two
decades in your seat,
469
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,588
when Julia says, I
just need a minute,
470
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,549
she's not asking for you
to grant her the minute.
471
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:29,591
She's taking it.
472
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,551
So give her two minutes.
473
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:34,262
Then slowly walk after her,
474
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,139
and when you get within 10 yards
475
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:40,518
of her, or what I call the
blast radius, make sure
476
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,854
that the first five words
out of your mouth are,
477
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,231
I am so, so sorry.
478
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,941
- I'm so sorry. Got it.
479
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,026
- No, no, no.
480
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:51,071
I am so, so sorry.
481
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,531
- I am so, so sorry.
482
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,116
- You've got this.
483
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:08,088
- Jules, I am so, so sorry.
484
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,217
I had it all worked out.
485
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,718
I was going to
litter, and once I got
486
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,719
pulled over by the police...
487
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,179
- For littering?
488
00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:19,057
- Littering with abandon,
like a crazy litter bug.
489
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,144
When they pulled me over
and saw who I was...
490
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:25,563
I was going to say,
give me that ticket.
491
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,940
I deserve that ticket.
492
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,358
- Why?
493
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,568
- When you and Jim
went to get popcorn,
494
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:35,323
Jimmy Jr. was making changes
to the Celtics coaching staff,
495
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:37,575
and Grace was booking
time on my private jet.
496
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,037
So, yeah, I am poisoning
your kids' minds.
497
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,498
Jim was right.
498
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,041
- Why didn't you
just say something?
499
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,335
- Because Jim was right.
500
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,339
Look, Jules, I'm sorry.
501
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:54,426
I'm just no good at
this parenting stuff.
502
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,888
- Trey, none of
us are good at it.
503
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,432
Jim was right this time.
504
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,767
You'll be right next
time. Then I'll be right.
505
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,271
And we'll somehow all be wrong
over and over again and again.
506
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,690
That's parenting...
one long, unfolding,
507
00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,984
unmitigated disaster.
508
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,404
- I got a lot to learn
on the parenting front.
509
00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:16,364
- Jim and I should
have handled this.
510
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:19,784
But the good news is we've
identified the problem.
511
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,453
You.
- Ha-ha.
512
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,121
- [laughs] I'm
kidding, I'm kidding.
513
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:24,456
- Ha, ha, ha, it's not funny.
514
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,624
- No, we can fix this together.
515
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,918
You're part of the team
now, you crazy litter bug.
516
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,421
[both laugh]
517
00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:35,925
I'm... I'm sorry I
let it get to this.
518
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,903
- We're not really going to
tell Jim he was right, are we?
519
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,554
- Oh, hell no.
- OK.
520
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,056
[laughs]
521
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,891
[truck horn blares]
522
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,559
- This your car?
523
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,019
- Uh, yes, Officer.
524
00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:48,104
- This is a no-standing zone.
525
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:50,940
Not only is your car
standing, you have the keys
526
00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:52,192
so no one can move it.
527
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:55,028
- Officer, I am so, so sorry.
528
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,113
He was giving me
a minute to think.
529
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,407
- The sign says "no
standing at any time,"
530
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,160
not "no standing unless he's
giving you a minute to think."
531
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,953
I'm writing you a ticket.
532
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,330
- Yes.
533
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,123
- Did you just do a fist pump?
534
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:08,667
- Yes.
535
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,627
- You're Trey Taylor
with the Celtics.
536
00:20:10,669 --> 00:20:12,671
- 'Tis he.
537
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,506
- Watch this, Mom.
538
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,484
- You know, it's an absolute
disgrace you haven't retired
539
00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,051
Tiny Archibald's number yet.
540
00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:20,553
- Larry Bird doesn't win the
title in 1981 without him.
541
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:21,638
- Agreed.
542
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,348
- I wasn't even
born when he played.
543
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:26,017
- Excuses, excuses.
544
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,602
Here's your ticket.
545
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:30,188
Pay attention to
the posted signs.
546
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:33,316
And do Tiny Archibald right.
547
00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:34,901
- Trey, Trey, I got this.
548
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,528
- No, this is me.
- No, no, no.
549
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,822
You got me out of a very
expensive speeding ticket.
550
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:40,865
- That is my ticket.
I want that ticket.
551
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,534
- $750?
552
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,120
I agree. This is your ticket.
553
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,540
- So, kids, have we
learned a lesson?
554
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,291
- Everything revolves
around sports
555
00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,252
because men can't communicate.
556
00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:54,921
- No, just 'cause
you're famous doesn't
557
00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:56,256
get you out of everything.
558
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:59,592
- Unless you retire
Tiny Archibald's number.
559
00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:02,053
Do Tiny right.
560
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,596
- Let's get in the car.
561
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:04,973
Hey.
562
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,891
- [laughs]
563
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,518
[The Clash's "I Fought the Law"]
564
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,563
all: ♪ Breakin' rocks
in the hot sun ♪
565
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,108
♪ I fought the law,
and the law won ♪
566
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:18,111
♪ I fought the law,
and the law won ♪
567
00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:21,156
♪ I needed money
'cause I had none ♪
568
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:24,284
♪ I fought the law,
and the law won ♪
569
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:27,579
♪ I fought the law,
and the law won ♪
40996
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