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1
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♪ You won't
2
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,843
♪ Forsake me
3
00:01:11,806 --> 00:01:13,466
♪ To heaven
4
00:01:14,392 --> 00:01:15,637
♪ You take me
5
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,099
♪ Don't try to wake me
6
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:22,223
♪ I'm just lost in a dream
7
00:01:23,234 --> 00:01:24,977
♪ I know that you won't
8
00:01:26,612 --> 00:01:28,272
♪ Forsake me
9
00:01:29,365 --> 00:01:31,025
♪ To heaven
10
00:01:31,951 --> 00:01:33,196
♪ You take me
11
00:01:35,079 --> 00:01:37,700
♪ Don't try to wake me
12
00:01:37,748 --> 00:01:39,408
♪ I'm just lost in a dream
13
00:01:40,459 --> 00:01:43,129
♪ I'm just lost in a
14
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♪ Dream ♪
15
00:02:26,672 --> 00:02:29,210
- And three, thank you.
- Thank you.
16
00:02:46,192 --> 00:02:47,686
Ouch!
17
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,483
- Ow.
- Keep still.
18
00:02:50,529 --> 00:02:52,771
Look, do you mind, you're hurting.
19
00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:54,567
It's all part of the training.
20
00:02:54,617 --> 00:02:57,322
None of us is bloody perfect.
21
00:03:03,209 --> 00:03:06,328
Get your head in there.
Come on, get a move on.
22
00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:08,455
I say, steady on!
23
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:14,423
- Shouldn't I have a hairnet?
- Course not, it doesn't matter.
24
00:03:16,472 --> 00:03:20,137
- You always had small tits and a big bum?
- Sorry?
25
00:03:20,184 --> 00:03:24,229
Thought so.
I've put you on gas mark four...
26
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,644
back in two days, all right?
27
00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:31,484
Can I have a magazine?
28
00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:36,902
...Standing side by side.
If you know anything about skipping
29
00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:39,905
you'll know that this is quite fascinating.
Stand side by side
30
00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:42,575
and place your near arm
round your partner's waist.
31
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,450
I do this with my friend Doris.
32
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:47,335
Or you can hold inside hands.
We do that too.
33
00:03:48,421 --> 00:03:51,042
The swing of the rope
must be from the wrist in both cases
34
00:03:51,090 --> 00:03:53,415
otherwise the rope will not turn evenly.
35
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,883
And you can have formation skipping teams
of any number.
36
00:03:56,929 --> 00:03:58,092
Would you like to join?
37
00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:02,640
Have I got nice tits
or have I got nice tits?
38
00:04:06,522 --> 00:04:08,764
I've got better tits than her.
39
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:11,521
At least I don't wear bloody falsies.
40
00:04:18,909 --> 00:04:23,785
- Chevely Wonder.
- Seven to two.
41
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,870
- Ought to go.
- How much?
42
00:04:25,916 --> 00:04:27,956
- A dollar.
- All right.
43
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,291
- And cross double it with the other two.
- OK.
44
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,559
Lynda?
45
00:04:54,904 --> 00:04:56,647
I think you're done, dear.
46
00:04:56,697 --> 00:05:00,113
It's awfully hot under here.
47
00:05:00,159 --> 00:05:01,986
It's always like that.
48
00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:04,871
- Bugger!
- There's a very unpleasant smell.
49
00:05:04,914 --> 00:05:07,950
- Don't fidget!
- You didn't give me a magazine.
50
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:12,543
You're getting a free bloody perm,
what do you expect?
51
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:15,832
Fine.
52
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,710
Good.
53
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,677
Yes. Yes.
54
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:23,129
- Yes. You pleased with that?
- Yes, thank you.
55
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,309
Oh.
56
00:05:34,485 --> 00:05:36,394
Look.
57
00:05:37,488 --> 00:05:38,982
Look at my hair!
58
00:05:39,782 --> 00:05:41,656
Look what you've done to my hair!
59
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,740
Oh, I don't know.
60
00:05:43,786 --> 00:05:46,111
It looks nice. It's nice.
61
00:05:46,163 --> 00:05:47,955
Look at it! Look at it!
62
00:05:47,998 --> 00:05:51,284
Oh, shut up, you silly fat cow!
You can always wear a hat.
63
00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:53,411
Lynda, come with me.
64
00:05:57,007 --> 00:05:59,296
People just don't want to hear
a lot of filthy talk
65
00:05:59,343 --> 00:06:00,624
when they're having a perm.
66
00:06:00,678 --> 00:06:02,754
Come on, out.
67
00:06:04,306 --> 00:06:08,850
- I did not swear at her.
- It's unprofessional and disgusting.
68
00:06:09,645 --> 00:06:11,851
Only took it on to please you.
69
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:17,311
Look there. Up there.
There's an opening waiting.
70
00:06:17,361 --> 00:06:19,686
All yours. Security for life.
71
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,820
This town's full of women
crying out for perms.
72
00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:24,491
- Hello, Dad.
- Hello, Margaret.
73
00:06:24,535 --> 00:06:26,113
- Hello, Lynda.
- Oh, bugger off.
74
00:06:26,162 --> 00:06:28,569
Watch your... Just watch it.
75
00:06:29,415 --> 00:06:32,084
Ever since you were a child,
you and your disgusting mouth.
76
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:33,668
Thank you very much.
77
00:06:33,711 --> 00:06:36,628
- There's something wrong with you, my girl.
- I'm bloody bored.
78
00:06:36,672 --> 00:06:38,748
Language.
79
00:06:45,765 --> 00:06:47,757
- Cod or haddock, what do you want?
- Cod.
80
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,884
Dog.
81
00:06:57,234 --> 00:06:59,357
Elizabeth! Lynda, look.
82
00:06:59,403 --> 00:07:03,068
Look, Margaret, look there. That's your dad!
83
00:07:05,242 --> 00:07:06,820
Come on, Margaret.
84
00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:27,055
Millie.
85
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,758
Hello, brother.
86
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:33,266
Hello, prettiness. You get prettier every day.
87
00:07:33,312 --> 00:07:35,388
Got a kiss for your father?
88
00:07:36,941 --> 00:07:38,399
Is that Lynda?
89
00:07:40,361 --> 00:07:42,852
Take that off, Lynda. Take it off!
90
00:07:49,245 --> 00:07:50,822
Have you brought us any presents?
91
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,781
Where's that kiss for your dad, Lynda?
92
00:08:00,089 --> 00:08:03,292
No, I don't believe it. When?
93
00:08:03,342 --> 00:08:04,920
Well, this was before the war.
94
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,712
No! I don't believe it.
95
00:08:07,763 --> 00:08:09,922
Spectacular.
96
00:08:09,974 --> 00:08:13,224
On one of the liners?
That's correct.
97
00:08:13,269 --> 00:08:15,475
Oh, I just don't believe it, do you?
98
00:08:15,521 --> 00:08:17,348
I don't think
the man would lie to us, Joan.
99
00:08:17,398 --> 00:08:20,268
Oh no, I mean,
I just can't believe it.
100
00:08:20,317 --> 00:08:22,357
Nor can I.
I can.
101
00:08:22,403 --> 00:08:24,194
Oh, you only say that
because you never liked her.
102
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:25,649
Who?
You.
103
00:08:25,698 --> 00:08:28,901
Never liked who?
Gracie Fields!
104
00:08:28,951 --> 00:08:30,149
I think she screaks.
105
00:08:30,202 --> 00:08:32,528
For goodness' sake!
Oh, come on!
106
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,987
Your father has cut...
107
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,540
Gracie Fields's hair, how about that then?
108
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,044
Shampoo, set and trim.
109
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:43,670
- Shampoo, set and trim.
- They don't know what you're talking about.
110
00:08:43,716 --> 00:08:45,625
- What?
- They think you're off your rocker.
111
00:08:45,676 --> 00:08:46,874
Don't you?
112
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,837
- Our Gracie.
113
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,141
That's Gracie Fields.
114
00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:56,635
- Hardly.
- I'll get some more water.
115
00:08:56,687 --> 00:09:00,103
- Show them the picture, Hubert.
- I was going to.
116
00:09:00,149 --> 00:09:04,277
- She gave me this.
- Ohh, look at that!
117
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,819
- Very nice.
- I've not seen this before.
118
00:09:07,865 --> 00:09:10,237
Of course not, woman.
119
00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:13,368
- Can I read what it says?
- That's a lock of her hair.
120
00:09:13,412 --> 00:09:16,330
- It's not!
- It is.
121
00:09:19,502 --> 00:09:21,660
"To Hubert,
122
00:09:21,712 --> 00:09:24,915
"With thanks and good wishes...
123
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,673
"Gracie Fields."
124
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,302
Lynda just said "up your bum".
125
00:09:31,597 --> 00:09:32,842
And "pig's willy".
126
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:42,934
Out!
127
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,984
- Go on, out!
- Hubert...
128
00:09:46,028 --> 00:09:48,946
- Out.
- Don't be hard on the girl.
129
00:09:49,573 --> 00:09:53,238
I have not travelled the oceans of the world
to come home to language like that.
130
00:09:53,285 --> 00:09:55,361
Bed!
131
00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:58,082
What's the matter?
132
00:11:16,994 --> 00:11:19,699
What's all the fuss about, eh?
133
00:11:21,165 --> 00:11:23,204
I wish he hadn't come home.
134
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,666
I wish he'd stayed at sea
with bloody Gracie Fields.
135
00:11:50,486 --> 00:11:52,775
- Hey, no cycling!
- Up your bum.
136
00:11:52,822 --> 00:11:55,063
Lynda! Lynda!
137
00:12:10,715 --> 00:12:12,173
Say hello to your Uncle Harry.
138
00:12:12,216 --> 00:12:14,090
- Give us a chance.
- Hello, Lynda.
139
00:12:14,135 --> 00:12:15,380
- Your Uncle Harry...
- Uncle Harry.
140
00:12:15,428 --> 00:12:18,843
Your Uncle Harry's got a job for you.
You start tomorrow.
141
00:12:18,889 --> 00:12:20,847
If you want it.
She wants it.
142
00:12:20,891 --> 00:12:24,260
- Start tomorrow at eight.
- You'd better get home to bed then.
143
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,637
Good. See you at eight,
get you started.
144
00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:28,765
I'm sure you'll be very happy.
145
00:12:29,734 --> 00:12:32,189
Where?
Where do I have to be tomorrow at eight?
146
00:12:32,737 --> 00:12:34,813
The garage,
the bus company.
147
00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:15,069
Hello.
148
00:13:15,112 --> 00:13:18,612
- Hello?
149
00:13:20,618 --> 00:13:23,156
What are you laughing at?
150
00:13:23,204 --> 00:13:27,498
It's hot.
Warm work, riding bikes.
151
00:13:28,584 --> 00:13:30,209
I fancy you, actually.
152
00:13:30,252 --> 00:13:33,337
You can take me to the pictures,
there's a Betty Grable film on.
153
00:13:33,381 --> 00:13:35,457
You can take me if you want.
154
00:13:37,802 --> 00:13:39,344
Yeah, maybe.
155
00:13:39,387 --> 00:13:42,091
Do you think I've got legs like Betty Grable?
156
00:13:43,182 --> 00:13:44,261
I don't know.
157
00:13:44,308 --> 00:13:47,724
If you take me on Saturday night,
I'll buy my own ticket.
158
00:13:49,146 --> 00:13:50,261
All right.
159
00:13:52,775 --> 00:13:54,234
Bye!
160
00:13:55,945 --> 00:13:57,688
Brian?
161
00:13:57,738 --> 00:13:59,149
Betty Grable!
162
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:18,956
- Hello.
- Hello.
163
00:14:19,009 --> 00:14:20,504
I haven't seen you here before.
164
00:14:20,553 --> 00:14:22,592
- No.
- Why not?
165
00:14:22,638 --> 00:14:25,259
I've not been here, have I, drip.
166
00:14:25,766 --> 00:14:28,222
- Would you like to come dancing?
167
00:14:28,269 --> 00:14:30,261
- The Rex, Saturday night.
- Lynda.
168
00:14:30,312 --> 00:14:32,305
I'm a good dancer.
169
00:14:32,356 --> 00:14:34,432
I can't, I've already got a date.
170
00:14:34,483 --> 00:14:35,728
Morning, Mr Figgis.
171
00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:37,852
This way please, you're late.
172
00:14:39,238 --> 00:14:42,572
- You don't know what you're missing.
- Neither do you.
173
00:16:23,509 --> 00:16:25,252
It's not Betty Grable.
174
00:16:26,762 --> 00:16:27,925
What?
175
00:16:27,972 --> 00:16:30,261
It's not Betty Grable.
176
00:16:30,307 --> 00:16:32,181
This is not a Betty Grable film.
177
00:16:33,686 --> 00:16:35,513
I know...
178
00:16:35,563 --> 00:16:37,851
dri-p.
179
00:16:37,898 --> 00:16:40,733
... Starting something I can't finish.
180
00:16:40,776 --> 00:16:43,446
Giving you happiness
for a little while and...
181
00:16:44,238 --> 00:16:46,480
- and...
- Oh, darling...
182
00:16:46,532 --> 00:16:49,449
happiness such as we can have
is worth grasping,
183
00:16:49,493 --> 00:16:51,652
even if it's only for a day, an hour.
184
00:16:51,704 --> 00:16:54,029
If you stand on the highest peak
for one moment
185
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:58,459
you've had what most people
strive in vain for all their lives.
186
00:16:58,502 --> 00:17:02,417
If only I could believe it.
Darling, listen to me.
187
00:17:02,465 --> 00:17:05,086
You say you've only a few months.
188
00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:07,590
How long has anyone in the world?
How long have I?
189
00:17:07,636 --> 00:17:10,922
A month, a year? Well, perhaps
I'll get away with it altogether
190
00:17:10,973 --> 00:17:12,800
and so may you.
191
00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:14,843
But we're all living dangerously.
192
00:17:14,894 --> 00:17:17,467
There isn't an certainty any more.
193
00:17:17,521 --> 00:17:20,392
There's just today
and the hope of tomorrow.
194
00:17:21,484 --> 00:17:23,809
Oh, darling.
195
00:17:23,861 --> 00:17:26,945
Please, let's...
let's take all the happiness we can
196
00:17:26,989 --> 00:17:29,112
while we can.
197
00:17:29,158 --> 00:17:30,818
Don't be afraid.
198
00:17:32,828 --> 00:17:36,577
All right, my darling.
I won't be afraid.
199
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,080
I'll never be afraid any more.
200
00:17:44,507 --> 00:17:46,795
What's the matter, Lynda?
201
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,760
What's the matter?
202
00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:04,526
Lynda.
203
00:18:06,237 --> 00:18:07,612
Lynda?
204
00:18:08,697 --> 00:18:10,524
What's the matter?
205
00:18:15,871 --> 00:18:17,947
What's the matter?
206
00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:22,411
Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.
207
00:18:27,299 --> 00:18:31,048
I liked it, it was nice, silly bugger!
208
00:18:58,873 --> 00:19:01,079
Now then, now then, none of that here!
209
00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:03,414
- Steady on!
- What do you think you're doing?
210
00:19:03,461 --> 00:19:06,746
- This is a picture palace, not a brothel.
- I'm sorry, sir, very sorry.
211
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,291
I'll be talking to your parents.
212
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:10,214
Oh, please! It won't happen again.
213
00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:11,539
It's disgusting.
214
00:19:11,594 --> 00:19:13,052
Oh, sod the pair of you!
215
00:19:13,095 --> 00:19:14,554
I'll be talking to your father.
216
00:19:14,597 --> 00:19:16,673
Bloody good luck to you!
217
00:19:16,724 --> 00:19:18,681
Here, get off before I kick your arse.
218
00:19:18,726 --> 00:19:21,133
Go on, or I'll kick your arse!
219
00:19:58,974 --> 00:20:00,599
Yes, sir?
220
00:20:04,605 --> 00:20:07,725
And... they go right up to my belly button.
221
00:20:09,693 --> 00:20:11,520
Marks and Spencer's, do you like them?
222
00:20:11,570 --> 00:20:13,646
- Look nice, don't they?
223
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:27,662
Do you like my suspenders?
224
00:20:27,712 --> 00:20:29,621
What about your knickers?
225
00:20:33,509 --> 00:20:36,843
Stop! Stop this! Out!
226
00:20:37,388 --> 00:20:39,713
- You're fired.
227
00:20:39,765 --> 00:20:41,924
- You're all fired.
228
00:20:41,976 --> 00:20:43,968
No, no, no you're not.
229
00:20:44,019 --> 00:20:45,430
Just you, you're fired.
230
00:20:45,479 --> 00:20:47,519
- You lot, out!
231
00:20:47,565 --> 00:20:50,056
Back to the buses.
Get back!
232
00:20:50,109 --> 00:20:53,359
But I was only showing them
my new knickers, Mr Figgis. Look!
233
00:21:00,077 --> 00:21:02,912
♪...Upstairs and downstairs
234
00:21:02,955 --> 00:21:05,411
♪ In my lady's chamber
235
00:21:05,458 --> 00:21:07,949
♪ Goosey, goosey, gander
236
00:21:08,002 --> 00:21:10,208
♪ Where did I wander?
237
00:21:10,254 --> 00:21:12,460
♪ Upstairs and downstairs
238
00:21:12,506 --> 00:21:14,582
♪ In my lady's chamber
239
00:21:15,384 --> 00:21:17,341
♪ Then I saw an old man
240
00:21:17,386 --> 00:21:20,340
♪ Didn't say his prayers
241
00:21:20,389 --> 00:21:22,548
♪ Took him by the left leg
242
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,099
♪ And threw him down the stairs
243
00:21:26,145 --> 00:21:28,351
♪ Goosey, goosey, gander
244
00:21:28,397 --> 00:21:30,473
♪ Where did I wander? ♪
245
00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:38,280
Your father says you've, er,
246
00:21:38,324 --> 00:21:40,731
sworn constantly since you were a child.
247
00:21:40,785 --> 00:21:42,611
My first word was bum.
248
00:21:42,661 --> 00:21:43,942
Really?
249
00:21:45,039 --> 00:21:47,744
- He's very worried about your, er...
- Swearing.
250
00:21:47,792 --> 00:21:49,868
Yes, that's right, and your...
251
00:21:49,919 --> 00:21:51,995
your behaviour.
252
00:21:53,172 --> 00:21:55,710
As I said, I'm, er...
253
00:21:55,758 --> 00:21:57,834
- I'm here to help you.
- That's nice.
254
00:21:57,885 --> 00:21:59,593
Mm.
255
00:21:59,637 --> 00:22:02,591
Once we discover
what kind of help you need.
256
00:22:03,682 --> 00:22:04,927
Good.
257
00:22:05,810 --> 00:22:07,636
Do you know what a psychiatrist is?
258
00:22:07,686 --> 00:22:09,763
- No.
- You don't?
259
00:22:10,648 --> 00:22:12,059
Do you resent coming here?
260
00:22:12,108 --> 00:22:13,566
No, why should I?
261
00:22:13,609 --> 00:22:15,352
I thought it'd make a nice day out.
262
00:22:17,988 --> 00:22:21,772
I tell you what we'll do, Lynda.
Do you mind if I call you Lynda?
263
00:22:21,826 --> 00:22:24,067
I prefer that to Beryl.
264
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:25,863
Is Beryl your second name?
265
00:22:25,913 --> 00:22:27,372
No!
266
00:22:30,334 --> 00:22:32,410
I tell you what we'll do.
267
00:22:33,796 --> 00:22:36,583
Let's go through the alphabet.
We'll start at A.
268
00:22:36,632 --> 00:22:37,961
Best place.
269
00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:41,045
And I want you to tell me
all the swear words you know
270
00:22:41,095 --> 00:22:42,375
beginning with A.
271
00:22:42,430 --> 00:22:44,588
- Then we'll go on to, er...
- B.
272
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,882
And so on. Do you get the picture?
273
00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:50,722
So... A. The letter A.
274
00:22:50,771 --> 00:22:54,105
- Arse.
- Arse. Good.
275
00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:55,560
Do you really want me to do this?
276
00:22:55,609 --> 00:22:58,147
- You feel foolish, do you, when you swear?
- No...
277
00:22:58,195 --> 00:23:00,069
only when I'm sat here like this.
278
00:23:00,114 --> 00:23:02,107
- Do you feel guilty?
- What about?
279
00:23:02,158 --> 00:23:04,649
Let's go on. Arse...
280
00:23:04,702 --> 00:23:06,113
Hole.
281
00:23:06,162 --> 00:23:07,822
- Hole?
- Arse.
282
00:23:07,872 --> 00:23:10,279
- Hole.
- Yeah, that's it.
283
00:23:10,332 --> 00:23:12,159
Ah, good, yes.
284
00:23:12,209 --> 00:23:14,961
- And holes.
- Holes.
285
00:23:15,004 --> 00:23:16,712
Of course.
286
00:23:16,756 --> 00:23:17,787
Let's move on to B.
287
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,757
Leave those behind, ha ha.
288
00:23:20,801 --> 00:23:22,177
B.
289
00:23:22,219 --> 00:23:25,220
- Bloody, bastard, bugger, bum.
- Very good.
290
00:23:25,264 --> 00:23:26,842
- And holes.
- Holes.
291
00:23:26,891 --> 00:23:28,385
- Bum.
- Holes.
292
00:23:28,434 --> 00:23:30,427
Yes, of course, very good.
293
00:23:42,031 --> 00:23:45,281
Now, Lynda... C.
294
00:23:45,326 --> 00:23:46,785
We missed balls.
295
00:23:46,827 --> 00:23:48,903
So we did, never mind. C.
296
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,119
- No.
- Take your time.
297
00:23:57,171 --> 00:23:58,369
Can't think of nothing.
298
00:23:58,422 --> 00:24:00,830
Think very hard now.
299
00:24:00,883 --> 00:24:02,591
The letter C.
300
00:24:03,677 --> 00:24:06,513
Something very filthy.
301
00:24:06,555 --> 00:24:08,631
Very, very dirty.
302
00:24:10,976 --> 00:24:12,387
Cacka?
303
00:24:13,729 --> 00:24:14,760
Cacka?
304
00:24:14,814 --> 00:24:17,221
Cacka. Pooh-poohs.
305
00:24:17,274 --> 00:24:19,148
- Are you feeling ashamed?
- What of?
306
00:24:19,193 --> 00:24:21,435
- What you're really thinking.
- I'm not thinking anything.
307
00:24:21,487 --> 00:24:24,192
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
308
00:24:25,324 --> 00:24:26,653
Very well then. D.
309
00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:28,159
- Damn.
- Precisely.
310
00:24:28,202 --> 00:24:29,365
F. The letter F.
311
00:24:29,412 --> 00:24:31,451
- We've missed out E.
- There isn't one with E.
312
00:24:31,497 --> 00:24:33,822
- There might be.
- There isn't, take my word for it.
313
00:24:33,874 --> 00:24:35,950
- We could give it a try.
- F.
314
00:24:36,001 --> 00:24:38,409
Can you think of a filthy, dirty, smutty word,
315
00:24:38,462 --> 00:24:39,743
beginning with F.
316
00:24:39,797 --> 00:24:42,205
- Not too hard, I should think, Lynda.
- No.
317
00:24:43,175 --> 00:24:45,464
- Come on, come on, of course you can.
- I can't.
318
00:24:45,511 --> 00:24:47,420
Of course you can. I can, anybody can.
319
00:24:47,471 --> 00:24:49,049
Well, what then? You tell me.
320
00:24:49,098 --> 00:24:51,589
You must be one of the last people
on earth not to know.
321
00:24:51,642 --> 00:24:53,136
Everybody knows a swear word with F.
322
00:24:53,185 --> 00:24:54,977
Then, what are you asking me for?
323
00:24:55,020 --> 00:24:56,515
Because I want to hear you say it.
324
00:24:56,564 --> 00:24:58,188
You dirty old bugger.
325
00:25:08,617 --> 00:25:13,244
It is difficult to be sure
without further investigations
326
00:25:13,289 --> 00:25:16,290
but I would conjecture
that something has happened to Lynda
327
00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:19,085
during the course of her adolescence.
328
00:25:19,128 --> 00:25:20,788
Her mother died when she was eleven
329
00:25:20,838 --> 00:25:23,294
- would that have anything to do with it?
- Possibly.
330
00:25:23,340 --> 00:25:25,333
What can I do?
331
00:25:27,511 --> 00:25:30,181
I'm ashamed of her, Doctor,
she's an embarrassment.
332
00:25:30,931 --> 00:25:34,550
- Is there nothing you can do?
- She's a difficult case.
333
00:25:34,602 --> 00:25:36,890
Can you make
some more appointments for her?
334
00:25:37,897 --> 00:25:41,479
- Will it cost the same for each visit?
- Yes, it will.
335
00:25:41,525 --> 00:25:43,732
Then I'm not sure that it's worth it.
336
00:26:14,141 --> 00:26:15,339
Thank you, thank you.
337
00:26:16,352 --> 00:26:17,929
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
338
00:26:17,978 --> 00:26:22,272
we have a star number for you
from our feature vocalist, Rudy Stephenson.
339
00:26:22,316 --> 00:26:26,396
And he's going to sing
for all you sweethearts and lovers.
340
00:26:26,445 --> 00:26:28,568
And also for Trevor Wilson
and Tessa Phipps
341
00:26:28,614 --> 00:26:31,781
- who became engaged today.
342
00:26:35,913 --> 00:26:38,665
Thank you. We'd like you
to dance nice and close together,
343
00:26:38,707 --> 00:26:40,996
as Rudy gives you his own
very special rendition
344
00:26:41,043 --> 00:26:43,748
of that all-time favourite, Lost In A Dream.
345
00:26:56,559 --> 00:26:59,595
♪ When it comes to dreams
346
00:26:59,645 --> 00:27:04,437
♪ Love has always played the leading part
347
00:27:05,651 --> 00:27:10,646
♪ I don't play for dimes and nickels
348
00:27:11,949 --> 00:27:16,741
♪ I don't play to be the last
349
00:27:18,122 --> 00:27:20,695
♪ When it comes to love
350
00:27:20,750 --> 00:27:26,918
♪ I shoot first, shoot to kill
351
00:27:26,964 --> 00:27:32,385
♪ I aim straight for the heart
352
00:27:33,596 --> 00:27:38,258
♪ You won't forsake me
353
00:27:39,602 --> 00:27:44,809
♪ To heaven you'll take me
354
00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:51,107
♪ Don't try to wake me
355
00:27:52,364 --> 00:27:57,157
♪ I'm just lost in a dream
356
00:27:58,204 --> 00:28:03,198
♪ Don't try to wake me
357
00:28:04,085 --> 00:28:11,332
♪ Cos I'm just lost in a dream ♪
358
00:28:51,799 --> 00:28:54,551
This is my grandma's bedroom.
359
00:28:54,593 --> 00:28:57,298
That's your grandma's bed.
360
00:29:00,891 --> 00:29:04,011
What did you, er, tell your Dad?
361
00:29:04,061 --> 00:29:06,433
I'm staying with my friend, Pauline.
362
00:29:07,523 --> 00:29:09,183
Where's your gran?
363
00:29:10,192 --> 00:29:11,852
Tunbridge Wells.
364
00:29:14,905 --> 00:29:17,112
She's gonna leave me this house in her will.
365
00:29:50,983 --> 00:29:53,474
You all right in there?
366
00:29:53,527 --> 00:29:58,901
- I'll be out in a minute.
- You've been in there bloody hours.
367
00:29:58,949 --> 00:30:01,156
You get into bed.
368
00:30:01,202 --> 00:30:03,278
I might fall asleep.
369
00:30:12,213 --> 00:30:13,837
Cor...
370
00:30:13,881 --> 00:30:15,541
Iook at you.
371
00:30:21,639 --> 00:30:22,670
Do you fancy me?
372
00:30:22,723 --> 00:30:25,641
Not half as much as you fancy yourself.
373
00:30:36,278 --> 00:30:38,318
What kind of cigarette is that?
374
00:30:38,364 --> 00:30:39,609
Du Maurier.
375
00:30:40,491 --> 00:30:43,196
- Really?
- They're the best.
376
00:30:51,210 --> 00:30:52,918
Toothpaste.
377
00:30:52,962 --> 00:30:55,251
I'm going to make love to you.
378
00:30:55,297 --> 00:30:56,756
Do bloody hope so.
379
00:30:56,799 --> 00:30:58,922
Like you've never been made love to before.
380
00:30:58,968 --> 00:31:00,759
Shouldn't be too difficult.
381
00:31:00,803 --> 00:31:03,341
I'm going to do it to you...
382
00:31:03,389 --> 00:31:04,848
right now.
383
00:31:09,437 --> 00:31:13,137
I might have a baby. I just thought
I'd mention it before we go too far.
384
00:31:13,190 --> 00:31:14,732
No chance.
385
00:31:14,775 --> 00:31:17,895
I'm not so dolly dumb as I look, you know.
386
00:31:17,945 --> 00:31:19,688
Don't worry.
387
00:31:19,739 --> 00:31:21,149
Dave thinks of everything.
388
00:31:21,198 --> 00:31:23,108
Oh, Durrex!
389
00:31:23,159 --> 00:31:25,614
- Durex.
- My dad sells these, what are they for?
390
00:31:27,121 --> 00:31:28,781
To stop you having babies.
391
00:31:28,831 --> 00:31:30,076
What?
392
00:31:31,375 --> 00:31:33,451
Crafty bugger!
393
00:31:33,502 --> 00:31:35,661
No wonder he hides them
under the counter.
394
00:31:37,006 --> 00:31:38,963
Ugh!
395
00:31:39,008 --> 00:31:41,084
You don't have to eat them, do you?
396
00:31:41,135 --> 00:31:43,009
No.
397
00:31:43,054 --> 00:31:46,138
They're plonkers.
What the Yanks call condoms.
398
00:31:46,182 --> 00:31:49,882
You've been done mate.
There's not one in this packet.
399
00:31:49,935 --> 00:31:51,478
That's cos I'm wearing it.
400
00:31:53,939 --> 00:31:55,683
Are you?
401
00:31:58,652 --> 00:32:00,526
Yes, I am.
402
00:32:07,119 --> 00:32:10,239
Oh! So you are.
403
00:32:11,457 --> 00:32:13,533
Come on, Dave, quick, let's do it.
404
00:32:14,543 --> 00:32:18,921
- Hang on.
405
00:32:21,967 --> 00:32:24,589
- What are you laughing at?
- I'm not, I'm not...
406
00:32:31,018 --> 00:32:34,719
Ooh, ow!
407
00:32:39,193 --> 00:32:41,945
What do we do now?
408
00:32:41,987 --> 00:32:44,313
Oh, Lynda...
409
00:32:44,365 --> 00:32:46,404
Any more fares...
410
00:32:46,450 --> 00:32:47,481
please!
411
00:32:52,498 --> 00:32:54,537
Oh.
412
00:32:56,127 --> 00:32:57,158
That was quick.
413
00:32:57,211 --> 00:32:58,789
Did you like it?
414
00:32:58,838 --> 00:33:01,126
Oh, it was nice, but, um,
415
00:33:01,173 --> 00:33:02,798
quicker than I expected.
416
00:33:02,842 --> 00:33:03,921
Don't worry.
417
00:33:03,968 --> 00:33:05,628
Is it always as quick as that?
418
00:33:05,678 --> 00:33:08,383
No, don't worry,
you'll get the hang of it.
419
00:33:09,390 --> 00:33:11,466
We've got all night.
420
00:33:13,227 --> 00:33:14,935
That's good.
421
00:33:14,979 --> 00:33:17,933
Then you'd better swallow
another one of these.
422
00:34:01,776 --> 00:34:02,855
What was that?
423
00:34:09,992 --> 00:34:11,949
Oh, my God, who is it?
424
00:34:11,994 --> 00:34:15,078
- Bloomin' heck!
- Dave, who is it?
425
00:34:15,122 --> 00:34:16,237
It's my dad!
426
00:34:16,290 --> 00:34:18,448
Wait a second.
427
00:34:20,169 --> 00:34:22,162
If it's my dad, tell him I'm not here!
428
00:34:22,213 --> 00:34:23,375
David!
429
00:34:23,422 --> 00:34:24,620
It's me uncle.
430
00:34:24,673 --> 00:34:26,666
Are you in there, David?
- Oh, my God!
431
00:34:26,717 --> 00:34:29,208
- I'll have to let him in.
- No!
432
00:34:29,261 --> 00:34:30,637
- Under, quick.
- What?!
433
00:34:30,679 --> 00:34:32,055
Get under the bed.
434
00:34:32,098 --> 00:34:33,640
Come on quick!
435
00:34:33,682 --> 00:34:34,845
He's got a key.
436
00:34:34,892 --> 00:34:37,763
If he's got a key, what's he knocking
on the bloody door for?
437
00:34:37,812 --> 00:34:39,935
You up there, David?
438
00:34:48,614 --> 00:34:50,939
What you doing
in your grandmother's bed?
439
00:34:50,991 --> 00:34:52,450
What's it look like?
440
00:34:52,493 --> 00:34:54,735
Does your grandma know
you're sleeping in her bed?
441
00:34:54,787 --> 00:34:56,032
Course she does.
442
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,496
If she comes back and finds you
in her bed, there'll be trouble.
443
00:34:59,542 --> 00:35:02,459
- Yeah, all right, so what?
- Mitch!
444
00:35:02,503 --> 00:35:05,954
I've been given to understand
you brought a girl home here last night.
445
00:35:06,006 --> 00:35:07,205
What?
446
00:35:07,258 --> 00:35:09,665
- Mitch!
- Who told you that?
447
00:35:10,720 --> 00:35:12,677
Never you mind.
448
00:35:12,722 --> 00:35:16,850
- I went dancing last night.
- At the Rex.
449
00:35:16,892 --> 00:35:20,760
but I never brought
no girl home, Uncle Brian, not me.
450
00:35:20,813 --> 00:35:22,852
I wouldn't dream of such a thing,
Uncle Brian.
451
00:35:22,898 --> 00:35:24,523
I should hope not.
452
00:35:25,693 --> 00:35:30,070
You should be up, this time of day.
You should be out doing something.
453
00:35:30,114 --> 00:35:32,071
Where have you been, church?
454
00:35:32,116 --> 00:35:33,943
Taking the dog for a walk.
455
00:35:33,993 --> 00:35:36,448
Keeping an eye on things.
456
00:35:36,495 --> 00:35:39,947
- The bloody dog's got one of your plonkers!
- I know!
457
00:36:21,916 --> 00:36:24,158
- Come on, for God's sake.
458
00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:26,286
- Sorry.
- Your dad in?
459
00:36:27,254 --> 00:36:29,543
- What do you want?
- Dad in?
460
00:36:29,590 --> 00:36:32,211
No.
He's not back yet.
461
00:36:32,259 --> 00:36:34,585
Not back yet?
Do you mind if I come in?
462
00:36:34,637 --> 00:36:37,554
Stand there like a bloody dummy,
I don't care.
463
00:37:11,966 --> 00:37:13,377
I don't know where he is.
464
00:37:14,510 --> 00:37:16,384
I never said you did.
465
00:37:17,555 --> 00:37:20,259
So what are you staring at, then?
466
00:37:22,727 --> 00:37:27,969
You, er... You gonna take up
hairdressing like your dad?
467
00:37:28,023 --> 00:37:29,399
No, thanks.
468
00:37:29,942 --> 00:37:32,860
- Reckon you could give me a trim?
- Get the pudding basin.
469
00:37:32,903 --> 00:37:34,563
I'll give it a try.
470
00:37:35,573 --> 00:37:38,064
So, you're the troublesome one eh?
471
00:37:38,117 --> 00:37:40,406
- What do you mean?
- What do you mean?
472
00:37:40,453 --> 00:37:42,860
That's what your dad says.
473
00:37:42,913 --> 00:37:44,906
Says you're a troublesome bugger.
474
00:37:44,957 --> 00:37:47,448
He can't wait to get rid of you.
475
00:37:54,967 --> 00:37:56,545
Why are you limping?
476
00:37:56,594 --> 00:37:58,670
What do you mean?
477
00:37:59,889 --> 00:38:02,806
You got something the matter
with your leg?
478
00:38:02,850 --> 00:38:04,261
No, why?
479
00:38:07,813 --> 00:38:10,814
You got something the matter with yours?
480
00:38:10,858 --> 00:38:13,147
I don't think so, no.
481
00:38:14,445 --> 00:38:16,983
Think you're it, don't you, hm?
482
00:38:17,031 --> 00:38:18,858
- What do you mean?
- What do you mean?
483
00:38:18,908 --> 00:38:21,363
Troublesome bugger.
484
00:38:21,410 --> 00:38:23,533
Think you're God's gift, don't you?
485
00:38:23,579 --> 00:38:26,699
I think I'm all right,
thank you very much.
486
00:38:29,877 --> 00:38:32,368
I think you're all the same.
487
00:38:33,756 --> 00:38:36,045
Don't know what you've got it for.
488
00:38:38,135 --> 00:38:40,840
All you young girls...
489
00:38:40,888 --> 00:38:43,806
you're scared...
490
00:38:43,849 --> 00:38:45,972
all talk.
491
00:38:46,018 --> 00:38:49,434
Scared of a real man, ain't you? Eh?
492
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,722
You bugger.
493
00:38:51,774 --> 00:38:54,265
You dirty bugger.
494
00:38:54,318 --> 00:38:57,354
Where's your sister? Eh?
495
00:38:57,405 --> 00:39:00,489
Girl Guides, she's gone to Girl Guides.
496
00:39:03,828 --> 00:39:06,283
I'll see you later out the back
when the pub's shut.
497
00:39:06,330 --> 00:39:07,741
That's what you think.
498
00:39:07,790 --> 00:39:10,032
Hubert!
499
00:39:10,084 --> 00:39:12,123
Oh, Eric, how did we do?
500
00:39:12,169 --> 00:39:14,956
- Not so bad, not so bad.
- I want a word with you.
501
00:39:15,005 --> 00:39:16,797
- I'm going out.
- Are you?
502
00:39:17,633 --> 00:39:21,002
Great Eastern, Blue Boy, Tee's Delight.
On the nose, cross doubles and a treble.
503
00:39:21,053 --> 00:39:24,387
- Every one a winner.
- Very nice, very nice.
504
00:39:24,432 --> 00:39:26,056
Very nice.
505
00:39:29,061 --> 00:39:30,555
Here...
506
00:39:30,604 --> 00:39:33,356
sixteen pounds there.
507
00:39:33,399 --> 00:39:37,646
Seven and... six.
508
00:39:37,695 --> 00:39:39,319
You're a toff.
Here.
509
00:39:39,363 --> 00:39:42,068
- Oh, thanks.
- Stay for a drink?
510
00:39:42,116 --> 00:39:44,737
- Oh, no, no, got to push on.
Got to push on.
511
00:39:44,785 --> 00:39:46,612
- Come on, parrot.
- Parrot.
512
00:39:46,662 --> 00:39:49,782
- Show the man to the door.
- Yes, Dad.
513
00:39:51,167 --> 00:39:53,408
- She's a lovely girl, isn't she?
- You think so?
514
00:39:53,461 --> 00:39:55,702
- Oh, yeah, lovely girl.
- Then make me an offer.
515
00:39:55,755 --> 00:39:57,961
Eh?
516
00:39:58,007 --> 00:39:59,169
Ha ha.
517
00:39:59,216 --> 00:40:02,134
Make me an offer!
No reasonable offer refused.
518
00:40:02,178 --> 00:40:04,799
- Half a dollar, on the nose?
- Done.
519
00:40:12,813 --> 00:40:15,814
- Hope your finger stinks.
- I'll see you later.
520
00:40:15,858 --> 00:40:17,934
Cock off.
521
00:40:24,116 --> 00:40:25,658
Hey!
522
00:40:26,994 --> 00:40:29,200
- Hey! Where do you think you're going?
523
00:40:29,246 --> 00:40:30,278
Out!
524
00:40:30,331 --> 00:40:32,240
- Oh, no, you're not.
- Oh, yes, I am.
525
00:40:32,291 --> 00:40:34,747
You're not, I'm telling you, you're not.
526
00:40:34,794 --> 00:40:36,204
You stay in for a change.
527
00:40:36,253 --> 00:40:38,661
I stay in, look after boring you know who,
528
00:40:38,714 --> 00:40:41,039
you go to the pub or club... lovely.
529
00:40:41,092 --> 00:40:42,123
Wrong. Freemasons.
530
00:40:42,176 --> 00:40:43,754
Same thing.
Yap, yap, yap, yap.
531
00:40:43,803 --> 00:40:46,969
Bit of this, bit of that, then on to the pub
or club with Long John Silver.
532
00:40:47,014 --> 00:40:48,639
It's all bloody boozing.
533
00:40:48,682 --> 00:40:52,466
Lynda, I don't want to hear it,
I won't have that kind of talk! Do you hear?
534
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,770
Get rid of me then.
Make me an offer, ha ha.
535
00:40:55,815 --> 00:40:58,306
You keep away from bus conductors.
536
00:40:59,402 --> 00:41:02,153
Bus conductor!
Look at you, that's just about your...
537
00:41:02,196 --> 00:41:03,987
I'm ashamed to be your father.
538
00:41:04,031 --> 00:41:06,107
Oh, cock off!
539
00:41:07,785 --> 00:41:09,742
Hey! You're not too old madam!
540
00:41:09,787 --> 00:41:11,032
Remember that!
541
00:41:59,879 --> 00:42:03,129
- Your bike's on fire.
- Up your bum!
542
00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:24,770
You'll have to wait a bloody long time,
Mr Stinky Finger,
543
00:42:24,820 --> 00:42:27,062
parrot chops, Long John Silver.
544
00:42:43,214 --> 00:42:49,466
♪ Up your bum, up your bum,
up your bum, up your bum ♪
545
00:42:55,142 --> 00:42:57,384
Up your bum, Mr Long John Silver.
546
00:43:02,358 --> 00:43:06,225
♪ Up your bum, up your bum
547
00:43:06,278 --> 00:43:08,769
♪ Up... your... bum
548
00:43:10,741 --> 00:43:12,235
♪ Up your bum
549
00:43:12,284 --> 00:43:13,743
♪ Up your bum, up your bum
550
00:43:13,786 --> 00:43:17,071
♪ Up your bum, up your bum,
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
551
00:43:17,123 --> 00:43:20,574
♪ Up your bum, up your bum!
552
00:43:20,626 --> 00:43:24,754
♪ Up your bum, up your bum, up your bum!
553
00:43:24,797 --> 00:43:25,995
♪ Up your bum!
554
00:43:26,048 --> 00:43:28,883
♪ Up your bum, up your bum!
555
00:43:28,926 --> 00:43:31,927
♪ Up your bum, up your bum!
Up your bum!
556
00:43:31,971 --> 00:43:34,676
♪ Up your bum! ♪
557
00:43:34,724 --> 00:43:36,800
What's going on down there?
558
00:43:36,851 --> 00:43:39,852
Just trying to find the cat, Mrs Fartley.
559
00:43:40,938 --> 00:43:42,765
Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss.
560
00:43:42,815 --> 00:43:44,226
Oh! Ooh!
561
00:43:48,779 --> 00:43:51,235
- Next.
- Two sixes ple...
562
00:43:52,867 --> 00:43:55,440
Can I have two sixes, please?
563
00:43:55,494 --> 00:43:56,988
Two sixes.
564
00:44:05,296 --> 00:44:07,502
Open or closed?
565
00:44:07,548 --> 00:44:09,671
Er, open please.
566
00:44:19,101 --> 00:44:21,426
Two sixes, a shilling please.
567
00:44:21,479 --> 00:44:26,900
- Sorry I haven't got anything, er, bigger.
- No bother, we can use the change.
568
00:44:28,110 --> 00:44:29,569
Next.
569
00:44:30,321 --> 00:44:33,986
I want two cod and fours,
a cod and six, a plaice and six
570
00:44:34,033 --> 00:44:36,606
two threes,
three fours and a couple of sixes.
571
00:44:37,453 --> 00:44:38,733
All with crispy bits.
572
00:44:39,371 --> 00:44:41,613
- Open or closed?
- Closed.
573
00:44:45,753 --> 00:44:47,792
Two cod and four, a cod and six,
574
00:44:47,838 --> 00:44:50,543
- what else?
- A plaice and six,
575
00:44:50,591 --> 00:44:53,592
two threes, three fours
and a couple of sixes,
576
00:44:53,636 --> 00:44:55,628
- all with crispy bits.
- Please!
577
00:44:55,679 --> 00:44:56,924
Please.
578
00:46:03,831 --> 00:46:04,994
Cock off.
579
00:46:10,629 --> 00:46:13,037
Dave?
580
00:46:15,051 --> 00:46:17,542
I'll see you later.
581
00:46:22,725 --> 00:46:24,219
Hello, Lynda.
582
00:46:27,146 --> 00:46:29,684
There, you bugger,
that's for you.
583
00:46:29,732 --> 00:46:32,057
Lynda, I'm sorry.
584
00:46:32,109 --> 00:46:34,814
Too bloody late.
585
00:47:32,253 --> 00:47:34,126
Ooh!
586
00:47:48,310 --> 00:47:50,884
Hello, it's me,
troublesome bugger, remember?
587
00:47:50,938 --> 00:47:53,856
- About bloody time.
- Cheeky sod.
588
00:47:53,899 --> 00:47:58,193
- What are you hanging about here for?
- Collecting bets.
589
00:47:58,237 --> 00:48:00,313
Come and stand over by this wall.
590
00:48:00,364 --> 00:48:02,855
Shh. This way.
591
00:48:04,577 --> 00:48:06,450
Come on!
592
00:48:09,498 --> 00:48:10,577
Come on, hurry up.
593
00:48:22,928 --> 00:48:25,004
Have you got a match?
594
00:48:45,493 --> 00:48:47,984
Can I have my matches back?
595
00:48:48,037 --> 00:48:50,113
Mr Mingy.
596
00:48:59,048 --> 00:49:00,672
What's this?
597
00:49:00,716 --> 00:49:02,341
There.
598
00:49:04,178 --> 00:49:06,005
How many you had on there?
599
00:49:06,055 --> 00:49:07,929
Oh, a few.
600
00:49:09,016 --> 00:49:11,139
- How many bus conductors?
- Oh, loads.
601
00:49:11,185 --> 00:49:14,519
I'm not fussy,
that's why I'm here with you.
602
00:49:15,898 --> 00:49:19,397
- So, you had a bust-up with your boyfriend.
- Word gets round quick.
603
00:49:19,443 --> 00:49:21,685
All the little tongues go clack, clack, clack.
604
00:49:24,198 --> 00:49:25,526
What's all this then?
605
00:49:26,075 --> 00:49:28,233
I come here to sleep,
606
00:49:28,285 --> 00:49:31,286
to escape my dad
and boring bloody sister.
607
00:49:31,330 --> 00:49:32,990
Who with?
608
00:49:35,584 --> 00:49:37,244
You.
609
00:49:43,426 --> 00:49:45,383
What you got down there, then?
610
00:49:45,428 --> 00:49:48,547
- Don't know, have to have a look.
- Have a look?
611
00:50:06,490 --> 00:50:08,779
Do you love me?
612
00:50:08,826 --> 00:50:11,613
No, I don't love anybody,
613
00:50:11,662 --> 00:50:13,738
not even meself.
614
00:50:17,334 --> 00:50:18,912
Bloody hell.
615
00:50:18,961 --> 00:50:20,206
Come on.
616
00:50:41,108 --> 00:50:43,599
- Think you're it, don't you?
- You said that before.
617
00:50:43,652 --> 00:50:44,684
Then I must be right.
618
00:50:44,737 --> 00:50:48,900
You don't know how lucky you are,
I'm practically a virgin.
619
00:50:54,580 --> 00:50:56,656
You've still got your pants on.
620
00:50:56,707 --> 00:50:58,166
Not for long.
621
00:51:06,634 --> 00:51:08,211
Oh, my God, it's my dad.
622
00:51:08,260 --> 00:51:10,052
- It's my dad!
- Quiet!
623
00:51:20,022 --> 00:51:21,267
Oh!
624
00:51:21,315 --> 00:51:23,557
I'm very sorry, madam, the, er...
625
00:51:23,609 --> 00:51:26,693
the gate was open
and I thought you might have intruders.
626
00:51:27,363 --> 00:51:29,439
Beg your pardon.
627
00:51:31,659 --> 00:51:34,114
Oh my God, bloody hell.
628
00:51:34,161 --> 00:51:37,447
If he wakes my dad, we're both dead!
629
00:51:37,498 --> 00:51:39,537
I thought it was him, I really did.
630
00:51:40,251 --> 00:51:43,252
Don't light the candle,
if he come out here we're dead.
631
00:51:43,295 --> 00:51:45,205
Shut up and come down here.
632
00:51:45,256 --> 00:51:47,663
- Oh, my heart.
- Come here.
633
00:51:55,182 --> 00:51:59,429
I'm shaking like a bag of jelly, can you feel?
We left the bloody gate open.
634
00:51:59,478 --> 00:52:01,934
What's the worry? Forget it.
635
00:52:01,981 --> 00:52:05,397
- I thought it was him.
- What's it matter?
636
00:52:06,485 --> 00:52:09,735
I can take care of your old man
you take care of mine.
637
00:52:09,780 --> 00:52:13,564
- Oh, thank God it wasn't him.
- What's it matter?
638
00:52:13,617 --> 00:52:15,657
- He don't care.
- Who?
639
00:52:15,703 --> 00:52:19,487
Your dad.
Can't wait to get shut of you.
640
00:52:19,540 --> 00:52:21,782
Half a dollar.
641
00:52:21,834 --> 00:52:26,128
- That's what you think.
- That's what I know.
642
00:52:26,172 --> 00:52:29,541
- What do you mean?
- What do you mean?
643
00:52:29,592 --> 00:52:34,966
He told me.
He can't wait to get rid of you.
644
00:52:35,014 --> 00:52:39,640
Says you're a bloody nuisance,
which you are.
645
00:52:39,685 --> 00:52:44,098
He's fed up looking after you.
646
00:52:44,148 --> 00:52:47,481
Big girl like you,
should be looking after yourself.
647
00:52:48,569 --> 00:52:51,689
So what if he does come in here?
I don't care.
648
00:52:52,740 --> 00:52:54,614
Mm?
649
00:52:54,658 --> 00:52:55,903
Can't do it now.
650
00:52:55,951 --> 00:52:57,861
- Why not?
- I'm scared.
651
00:52:57,912 --> 00:53:01,494
- You're not leaving here until you do.
- You have to wear a plonker.
652
00:53:01,540 --> 00:53:03,035
Uh-uh.
653
00:53:04,126 --> 00:53:05,620
I'm not doing it unless you do.
654
00:53:05,669 --> 00:53:09,085
- You don't know what you're missing.
- No plonker, no nookie.
655
00:53:09,131 --> 00:53:12,714
Look, I'm an expert,
I know what I'm doing, I'll look after you.
656
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,298
Look, I'm a cowboy,
didn't you know that, eh?
657
00:53:15,346 --> 00:53:18,051
The best bare-back riders in town.
658
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:30,604
♪ There's some cotton thread and needles
for the folks away up yonder
659
00:53:30,653 --> 00:53:33,986
♪ A shovel for a miner
who left his home to wander
660
00:53:34,031 --> 00:53:38,076
♪ Some rheumatism pills
for the settlers in the hills
661
00:53:38,119 --> 00:53:42,911
♪ Get along, mule! Get along ♪
662
00:53:43,666 --> 00:53:50,333
Big finish.
♪ Get along, mule, get along! ♪
663
00:54:05,229 --> 00:54:07,934
That was wonderful!
Truly wonderful.
664
00:54:07,982 --> 00:54:10,651
I have to give you a big kiss for that.
665
00:54:11,235 --> 00:54:13,026
Come here!
666
00:54:16,407 --> 00:54:20,274
- You should be a professional.
- Oh, I am, I am.
667
00:54:20,327 --> 00:54:22,403
You too, Harry.
668
00:54:23,873 --> 00:54:25,415
Any more, any more?
669
00:54:35,342 --> 00:54:37,750
What about you, Auntie Millie?
670
00:54:37,803 --> 00:54:40,590
Oh, I suppose so, why not?
671
00:54:40,639 --> 00:54:43,130
You make me sound like some old woman.
672
00:54:44,226 --> 00:54:45,769
You too, Joan.
673
00:54:45,811 --> 00:54:48,302
Oh, I thought you'd have to have a go at me.
674
00:54:49,190 --> 00:54:51,266
He's not fussy.
675
00:54:53,194 --> 00:54:54,854
And...
676
00:54:54,904 --> 00:54:58,023
the lovely Lynda.
677
00:55:02,453 --> 00:55:04,861
Isn't she lovely?
678
00:55:05,956 --> 00:55:07,237
Lovely.
679
00:55:09,126 --> 00:55:12,127
♪ In, out, in, out, shake it all about
680
00:55:12,171 --> 00:55:15,421
♪ You do the hokey cokey
and you turn around
681
00:55:15,466 --> 00:55:18,633
♪ And that's what it's all about ♪
682
00:55:18,677 --> 00:55:21,169
♪ Oh, hokey cokey cokey!
683
00:55:22,264 --> 00:55:24,553
♪ Oh, hokey cokey cokey!
684
00:55:25,226 --> 00:55:27,977
♪ Oh, hokey cokey cokey!
685
00:55:28,020 --> 00:55:31,436
♪ Knees bend, arms stretch, ra ra ra! ♪
686
00:56:45,973 --> 00:56:47,764
Your mother wouldn't approve.
687
00:56:48,642 --> 00:56:50,968
Pity she's not here to say.
688
00:56:57,610 --> 00:56:59,686
She'd have shown you the door.
689
00:56:59,737 --> 00:57:01,813
I've seen it.
690
00:57:22,718 --> 00:57:24,794
I'm a respected man, Lynda.
691
00:57:27,807 --> 00:57:29,883
A freemason.
692
00:57:31,852 --> 00:57:33,928
I know that doesn't mean much to you.
693
00:57:36,065 --> 00:57:38,141
Why should it?
694
00:57:41,153 --> 00:57:45,151
I'm not here to be made
a bloody fool of, Lynda.
695
00:57:46,158 --> 00:57:48,234
There's such thing as dignity.
696
00:57:57,753 --> 00:57:59,829
You seem to think you're smart
697
00:58:01,966 --> 00:58:04,539
but I'm afraid you'll end up the bloody fool.
698
00:58:08,305 --> 00:58:10,381
Just don't do it in my house.
699
00:58:11,434 --> 00:58:14,470
I don't want to be witness
to that kind of spectacle.
700
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:16,596
What about Maisie Mathews?
701
00:58:24,697 --> 00:58:27,104
I'm a man.
702
00:58:39,628 --> 00:58:42,629
I don't know why you've turned out
the way you have.
703
00:58:42,673 --> 00:58:44,749
God knows!
704
00:58:47,803 --> 00:58:49,879
You're... You're in such a rush.
705
00:58:52,349 --> 00:58:54,426
Why be in such a rush about it all?
706
01:01:34,011 --> 01:01:35,209
I've left him.
707
01:01:36,972 --> 01:01:38,965
- Who?
- Who? Him!
708
01:01:39,433 --> 01:01:42,007
And my boring bloody sister.
709
01:01:42,061 --> 01:01:43,970
She said she wants to join the army.
710
01:01:44,021 --> 01:01:47,271
I thought she meant the Sally Army,
but she means the army.
711
01:01:51,362 --> 01:01:54,067
- How'd you get in?
- It's not locked, is it?
712
01:01:56,617 --> 01:01:59,238
You said you wanted me through the night.
You've got me now.
713
01:01:59,286 --> 01:02:01,575
Father's blessing. Good riddance.
714
01:02:04,625 --> 01:02:06,250
Can bugger off if you want.
715
01:02:13,759 --> 01:02:15,835
Now...
716
01:02:44,623 --> 01:02:46,949
Come here.
717
01:03:03,517 --> 01:03:05,593
Cuddle me, please.
718
01:03:08,189 --> 01:03:10,265
I'll clear up.
719
01:03:11,734 --> 01:03:13,810
It's a bloody mess in here.
720
01:03:15,863 --> 01:03:17,939
You stink of booze and fags.
721
01:03:23,496 --> 01:03:25,654
You stink of chip fat.
722
01:03:28,751 --> 01:03:30,827
It's this.
723
01:03:30,961 --> 01:03:33,287
No, it's not.
724
01:03:33,339 --> 01:03:35,415
Take it off.
725
01:03:58,322 --> 01:04:00,398
You'd better take this off and all.
726
01:04:03,369 --> 01:04:07,367
I can just fit you in before
the Novices Handicap at Kempton.
727
01:04:08,916 --> 01:04:11,158
Oh, come on, come on. What's all the fuss?
728
01:04:14,046 --> 01:04:17,083
Hold me, please. Just hold me.
729
01:04:17,133 --> 01:04:19,042
What's the matter?
730
01:04:19,093 --> 01:04:21,714
Gone off it, have you?
Not going to do it any more?
731
01:04:21,762 --> 01:04:23,387
No!
732
01:04:23,431 --> 01:04:25,922
We'll have to ring the papers about that,
won't we?
733
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:30,051
- I'll go to Bournemouth.
- You what?
734
01:04:30,104 --> 01:04:32,891
You what? Bournemouth.
735
01:04:34,024 --> 01:04:36,397
If you don't want me, I'll run away
to bloody Bournemouth.
736
01:04:36,444 --> 01:04:38,483
Course I want you.
737
01:04:38,529 --> 01:04:41,863
They don't have fish and chip shops
in Bournemouth, you know.
738
01:04:41,907 --> 01:04:43,070
Or sheds.
739
01:04:43,117 --> 01:04:45,442
Now, what would you do
without fish and chips,
740
01:04:45,494 --> 01:04:47,617
sheds and my old man, eh?
741
01:05:04,722 --> 01:05:07,047
- Come on.
742
01:05:07,099 --> 01:05:09,139
- Come on.
743
01:07:06,719 --> 01:07:08,510
Come on, lovey.
744
01:07:48,969 --> 01:07:51,591
Hold it still, ladies. Stay still.
745
01:07:53,140 --> 01:07:55,216
Hold it just like that, ladies.
746
01:07:55,267 --> 01:07:56,382
Very still.
747
01:07:56,435 --> 01:07:58,013
Thank you.
748
01:07:58,062 --> 01:07:59,437
- Oh!
749
01:08:19,208 --> 01:08:22,957
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.
750
01:08:23,003 --> 01:08:26,088
- Thank you, madam.
- Thank you so much.
751
01:08:32,930 --> 01:08:34,175
Can I help you, sir?
752
01:08:36,016 --> 01:08:37,215
Cup of tea, please.
753
01:08:37,268 --> 01:08:39,260
We don't serve cups of tea, sir.
754
01:08:39,311 --> 01:08:41,802
Only pots, that's teapots, not piss pots,
755
01:08:41,856 --> 01:08:43,932
although we can always make exceptions.
756
01:08:43,983 --> 01:08:46,390
If you want a cup of tea
you must go to the caff
757
01:08:46,444 --> 01:08:47,724
with all the other riffraff.
758
01:08:47,778 --> 01:08:50,186
- This is a café.
- Pot of tea then.
759
01:08:50,239 --> 01:08:51,437
Smart arse.
760
01:08:51,490 --> 01:08:54,776
- Language.
- And a bit of cake.
761
01:08:56,495 --> 01:08:57,610
Or a bun.
762
01:08:57,663 --> 01:09:00,581
Bath bun, Chelsea bun, currant bun,
honey bun, up your bum.
763
01:09:00,624 --> 01:09:02,617
Fairy buns, seed cake,
cherry cake, fruit cake,
764
01:09:02,668 --> 01:09:05,289
ginger cake, Eccles cake,
teacake, lemon cakes,
765
01:09:05,337 --> 01:09:06,369
Swiss rolls, dinkie rolls,
766
01:09:06,422 --> 01:09:09,707
jam sandwiches, macaroons,
cheese straws and scones.
767
01:09:09,759 --> 01:09:11,502
I'll just have the tea.
768
01:09:11,552 --> 01:09:12,667
Please.
769
01:09:14,180 --> 01:09:16,256
- Please.
- Thank you.
770
01:09:25,316 --> 01:09:27,474
- Him, there. Can you see?
- Yeah.
771
01:09:27,526 --> 01:09:29,400
All right, serve him, will you, Vickie?
772
01:09:29,445 --> 01:09:33,692
And if he asks where I've gone,
tell him I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore.
773
01:09:39,997 --> 01:09:42,405
Tea, sir.
774
01:09:42,458 --> 01:09:44,664
Where's the...
Where's the other young lady?
775
01:09:44,710 --> 01:09:47,497
- Pardon?
- Where's the waitress who took my order?
776
01:09:47,546 --> 01:09:50,631
Oh, you mean the waitress
who took your order, sir.
777
01:09:50,674 --> 01:09:52,050
That's right.
778
01:09:52,093 --> 01:09:54,797
She's got an urgent call
and had to leave, sir.
779
01:09:56,597 --> 01:09:58,673
Where to?
780
01:09:58,724 --> 01:10:00,183
Singa-bloody-pore, sir.
781
01:10:18,911 --> 01:10:21,153
There he is.
782
01:10:21,205 --> 01:10:23,826
There he is. There he is.
783
01:10:26,502 --> 01:10:29,456
He thinks I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore!
784
01:10:32,842 --> 01:10:34,918
- Lynda!
785
01:10:42,017 --> 01:10:43,891
Sh!
786
01:10:54,739 --> 01:10:56,565
Lynda.
787
01:10:57,950 --> 01:11:00,192
I wish he'd clear off.
788
01:11:06,876 --> 01:11:09,367
Go away! Clear off!
789
01:11:14,884 --> 01:11:17,256
Lynda!
790
01:11:20,264 --> 01:11:22,470
Lynda!
791
01:11:22,516 --> 01:11:25,802
Why don't you just bugger off? Go away!
792
01:11:25,853 --> 01:11:27,810
Can't you see where you're not wanted?
793
01:11:27,855 --> 01:11:30,227
I don't need none of you, just bugger off!
794
01:11:32,109 --> 01:11:34,185
Lyndie!
795
01:11:34,236 --> 01:11:37,855
Lyndie, oh, I say!
Never called me Lyndie before.
796
01:11:37,907 --> 01:11:41,192
Must be after something.
Ha, bloody, ha!
797
01:11:41,243 --> 01:11:43,035
But I miss you. I came to see you.
798
01:11:43,079 --> 01:11:46,661
- I bet I know what you're missing!
- Look, you just cleared off!
799
01:11:46,707 --> 01:11:48,534
I come back, you'd gone.
800
01:11:48,584 --> 01:11:50,909
I thought you'd still be there, I really did.
801
01:11:50,961 --> 01:11:53,583
Oh... just bugger off,
I don't want to think about it.
802
01:11:53,631 --> 01:11:56,667
What's to think about?
Come on, I'll take you for a drink.
803
01:11:56,717 --> 01:11:59,422
- You're just after your oats.
- And your mate.
804
01:11:59,470 --> 01:12:02,305
I'll take you both for a drink...
a meal, if you want.
805
01:12:02,348 --> 01:12:04,637
Oh, look out, Vickie,
he's after the two of us.
806
01:12:04,683 --> 01:12:07,637
- Ahh, I bet you're missing it as well.
- Do you?
807
01:12:07,686 --> 01:12:10,059
How much?
How much do you want to bet?
808
01:12:10,106 --> 01:12:12,015
I wouldn't want to take your money.
809
01:12:12,066 --> 01:12:13,809
Lynda up the duff, then,
810
01:12:13,859 --> 01:12:17,442
what odds do you put on that,
eh, Mr Clever Dick, eh?
811
01:12:17,488 --> 01:12:21,533
Oh, look, that's shut his gob.
That's put a crease in his brand-new suit!
812
01:12:21,575 --> 01:12:23,734
- I don't believe you.
- Don't you?
813
01:12:23,786 --> 01:12:26,111
- You're joking!
- Am I?
814
01:12:26,163 --> 01:12:28,322
I don't believe you.
815
01:12:28,374 --> 01:12:31,244
- How?
- How what?
816
01:12:31,293 --> 01:12:32,953
How do you know?
817
01:12:33,003 --> 01:12:37,297
You're the one that should know!
You put it up me, Mr Bareback Rider.
818
01:12:37,341 --> 01:12:40,508
You knew when you were gonna spunk.
How the hell was I supposed to know?
819
01:12:40,553 --> 01:12:42,426
No, you soft cow,
I mean how do you know?
820
01:12:42,471 --> 01:12:44,797
- Are you sure?
- You're the one all eyes.
821
01:12:44,849 --> 01:12:47,600
- Look! Can't you see?
- No, I can't.
822
01:12:47,643 --> 01:12:49,849
All you see is tits and arses.
823
01:12:50,813 --> 01:12:53,648
- Have you seen a doctor?
- Huh!
824
01:12:53,691 --> 01:12:55,767
Then how do you know it's mine?
825
01:12:55,818 --> 01:12:59,863
If it walks with a limp
and thinks with its prick, then it's yours.
826
01:12:59,905 --> 01:13:03,109
But how do you know?
I don't know that, do I?
827
01:13:03,159 --> 01:13:05,732
- You stupid...
- Lynda!
828
01:13:05,786 --> 01:13:07,245
- Get off!
- Lynda!
829
01:13:07,288 --> 01:13:09,660
- Get off!
- Get off of me! Get off!
830
01:13:09,749 --> 01:13:12,749
Lynda!
Lynda, stop it!
831
01:13:12,793 --> 01:13:14,952
Leave me alone!
Piss off, you...
832
01:13:15,004 --> 01:13:17,459
Leave... me... alone!
833
01:13:17,506 --> 01:13:19,582
Piss off!
834
01:13:22,053 --> 01:13:23,595
Whoops-a-daisy.
835
01:13:23,637 --> 01:13:25,096
Lynda, come on.
836
01:13:25,139 --> 01:13:27,215
Here we are.
837
01:13:51,457 --> 01:13:53,533
Where's the paper?
838
01:14:10,017 --> 01:14:12,176
This is it.
839
01:14:21,737 --> 01:14:23,896
Doesn't look too bad.
840
01:14:25,991 --> 01:14:28,364
What does she do? Did Doris say?
841
01:14:28,411 --> 01:14:31,162
No.
842
01:14:31,205 --> 01:14:35,416
- Is it knitting needles and all that?
- I don't know.
843
01:14:38,754 --> 01:14:40,830
How much?
844
01:14:49,056 --> 01:14:51,263
Where am I gonna get that sort of money?
845
01:15:00,943 --> 01:15:03,101
Come on, let's go and have a cup of tea.
846
01:15:23,382 --> 01:15:26,052
- Oh, sorry madam. I'm sorry.
847
01:15:33,017 --> 01:15:34,345
Yes, what do you want?
848
01:15:36,937 --> 01:15:38,135
Can I help you, sir?
849
01:15:38,189 --> 01:15:40,312
From the moment you walked
through that door I thought,
850
01:15:40,357 --> 01:15:42,599
"That's my daughter and she's a slut!"
851
01:15:42,651 --> 01:15:43,980
Thank you, sir. Will that be all, sir?
852
01:15:44,028 --> 01:15:46,815
Don't be clever, Lynda.
From where I'm sitting you don't look clever.
853
01:15:46,864 --> 01:15:48,655
I know why you're here
and I don't want to discuss it.
854
01:15:48,699 --> 01:15:51,985
So, do you want a pot of tea
or would you just prefer to clear off?
855
01:15:52,036 --> 01:15:54,194
- I'm disgusted, Lynda.
- With lemon, sir?
856
01:15:54,246 --> 01:15:56,916
I thought I could have a perfectly
reasonable conversation with you.
857
01:15:56,957 --> 01:15:59,994
- I thought I could come here and...
- I don't want you here, I'm at work.
858
01:16:00,044 --> 01:16:02,582
And I've got Hermann Goebbels
breathing down my neck, just clear off!
859
01:16:02,630 --> 01:16:06,295
I thought we could have a reasonable
conversation but all I wanna do is clout you.
860
01:16:06,342 --> 01:16:08,381
Would you like a pot of tea first, sir?
861
01:16:08,427 --> 01:16:10,301
Listen to you and your mouth,
look where it's got you.
862
01:16:10,346 --> 01:16:13,596
Dad, I can't discuss it.
Will you just go away, I need this job!
863
01:16:13,641 --> 01:16:16,642
- You're going to need more than a job.
- Oh, please, just bugger off!
864
01:16:16,685 --> 01:16:18,643
Is anything the matter, Miss Mansell?
865
01:16:18,687 --> 01:16:21,013
- Is everything to your satisfaction, sir?
- No, it's not.
866
01:16:21,065 --> 01:16:23,271
Is everything to your satisfaction, sir?
867
01:16:23,317 --> 01:16:24,598
You see, what can you do?
868
01:16:24,652 --> 01:16:26,443
- How do you put up with it?
- Oh, shut up!
869
01:16:26,487 --> 01:16:29,156
This is disgraceful. Go
to the kitchen immediately, Miss Mansell.
870
01:16:29,198 --> 01:16:31,440
No, I won't go to the kitchen.
Stuff the bloody kitchen.
871
01:16:31,492 --> 01:16:33,034
- Just watch your mouth!
- Please!
872
01:16:33,077 --> 01:16:35,235
This is what it's like, you see,
this is what you get.
873
01:16:35,287 --> 01:16:37,494
- Now you can begin to see my side of it.
- Oh, please, just bugger off!
874
01:16:37,540 --> 01:16:38,571
- Now, please!
- I said please.
875
01:16:38,624 --> 01:16:40,830
- Do you see?
- Look, what is going on?
876
01:16:40,876 --> 01:16:42,916
- I've given her a lot of time...
- Please, sir!
877
01:16:42,962 --> 01:16:44,789
- Made a lot of sacrifices.
- Oh, God!
878
01:16:44,839 --> 01:16:48,753
- Though, God knows, you wouldn't think it.
- What are you staring at, you old bag?
879
01:16:48,801 --> 01:16:51,422
Please. Mrs... Madam... please!
880
01:16:51,470 --> 01:16:53,379
- Well, she is an old bag!
- That is enough!
881
01:16:53,431 --> 01:16:55,008
- Lynda!
- Allow me to apologise.
882
01:16:55,057 --> 01:16:59,387
She whinges about everything.
Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, every bloody day.
883
01:16:59,437 --> 01:17:01,263
That is enough.
Language, please!
884
01:17:01,313 --> 01:17:02,808
Well, it's true,
what's wrong with the truth?
885
01:17:02,857 --> 01:17:05,015
You're fired! You are dismissed.
886
01:17:05,067 --> 01:17:06,478
- Get out!
- No, I won't!
887
01:17:06,527 --> 01:17:09,100
This one goes around
with his brown nose up in the air,
888
01:17:09,155 --> 01:17:11,859
down on the carpet,
la-di-dah this, la-di-dah that.
889
01:17:11,907 --> 01:17:14,612
The cook spits in the buns
and we all piss in the teapots.
890
01:17:14,660 --> 01:17:17,661
- That is enough. Out!
- She's a bad lot, and that's the truth.
891
01:17:17,705 --> 01:17:19,828
Nothing but trouble,
that's the way it's always been.
892
01:17:19,874 --> 01:17:22,993
- This is my father speaking.
- Since she could speak, she's uttered filth.
893
01:17:23,044 --> 01:17:26,210
From the day she uttered her first word
her tongue has caused nothing but trouble.
894
01:17:26,255 --> 01:17:28,046
- This is my father.
- Sometimes I doubt it.
895
01:17:28,090 --> 01:17:31,755
- An insult to my dead mother.
- I'm sorry but this cannot go on.
896
01:17:31,802 --> 01:17:35,503
I'm up the duff! That's what's up his nose!
I'm pregnant! In the club!
897
01:17:35,556 --> 01:17:37,798
Right, that's it! That's enough!
898
01:17:37,850 --> 01:17:40,139
A man's willy has entered my person
899
01:17:40,186 --> 01:17:42,474
- and left a little visitor behind.
- Get down!
900
01:17:42,521 --> 01:17:44,893
- This is a matter for the police.
- This is the man
901
01:17:44,940 --> 01:17:46,933
- who once gave one to Gracie Fields.
- Down!
902
01:17:46,984 --> 01:17:48,313
I'm calling the police.
903
01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:51,231
- A member of the British Legion.
- Get down!
904
01:17:51,280 --> 01:17:54,447
- Am I the only one who does it?
- This is not my daughter.
905
01:17:54,492 --> 01:17:56,401
- What do you lot do, eh?
- Not my daughter.
906
01:17:56,452 --> 01:17:58,658
- What do you play with in bed at night?
- I disown her!
907
01:17:58,704 --> 01:18:01,373
Hands up all those that like willies, I do!
908
01:18:02,416 --> 01:18:03,994
The police are coming.
909
01:18:04,043 --> 01:18:06,166
- Balls!
- Ladies and Gentlemen...
910
01:18:06,212 --> 01:18:09,628
I would like to apologise
for this disgraceful display...
911
01:18:09,673 --> 01:18:11,962
So what, I'm up the duff, who cares?
912
01:18:12,009 --> 01:18:14,500
- I will settle.
- I like willies!
913
01:18:14,553 --> 01:18:18,421
- Get her down!
- All these teas on me. Right?
914
01:18:18,474 --> 01:18:22,472
Sex! All of you! All you old bags look as if
you could do with a nice bit of hot willy!
915
01:18:22,520 --> 01:18:26,849
- Get her down!
- Sex!
916
01:19:01,058 --> 01:19:04,890
It's getting kind of close
to the New Year and I'm feeling sentimental.
917
01:19:04,937 --> 01:19:07,938
I'm going to sing a song
that means a lot to me and...
918
01:19:08,399 --> 01:19:09,561
somebody else.
919
01:19:09,608 --> 01:19:11,518
And if you don't like it that's just too bad.
920
01:19:11,569 --> 01:19:13,645
After all, I own the joint.
921
01:19:16,365 --> 01:19:20,493
♪ It had to be you
922
01:19:21,078 --> 01:19:25,824
♪ It had to be you
923
01:19:25,875 --> 01:19:28,282
♪ I wandered around
924
01:19:28,335 --> 01:19:34,421
♪ Finally found the somebody who
925
01:19:34,467 --> 01:19:38,844
♪ Could make me be true
926
01:19:38,888 --> 01:19:43,466
♪ Could make me be blue
927
01:19:43,517 --> 01:19:48,512
♪ And even be glad, just to be sad... ♪
928
01:19:48,564 --> 01:19:50,640
How long is it now?
929
01:19:52,109 --> 01:19:54,185
Three months, more or less.
930
01:19:55,488 --> 01:19:57,564
It's not too late.
931
01:19:58,657 --> 01:20:00,733
No.
932
01:20:02,953 --> 01:20:05,029
What happened?
933
01:20:06,582 --> 01:20:08,658
When?
934
01:20:08,709 --> 01:20:12,754
Your father came home very sorry
for himself. Whatever happened?
935
01:20:13,923 --> 01:20:16,046
Silly bugger.
936
01:20:16,092 --> 01:20:19,128
I stood on a chair in the Paris Tea Rooms
and shouted.
937
01:20:19,178 --> 01:20:22,796
I can't remember what I said.
It was terrible.
938
01:20:23,682 --> 01:20:26,174
He offered to pay for everyone's teas.
939
01:20:28,771 --> 01:20:31,179
You didn't need to do that...
940
01:20:31,232 --> 01:20:33,308
not to your father.
941
01:20:35,945 --> 01:20:38,187
I'm not coming back, you know.
942
01:20:38,239 --> 01:20:40,315
No matter what.
943
01:20:41,909 --> 01:20:46,867
Where you gonna go then?
Who's gonna want you with a baby?
944
01:20:46,914 --> 01:20:48,954
Where you gonna live?
945
01:20:48,999 --> 01:20:53,246
- Not in that dump.
- Nobody's asking you to, my dear.
946
01:20:54,171 --> 01:20:57,955
Things like this don't happen
in that sort of town.
947
01:20:58,008 --> 01:21:00,215
I can just see your father's face.
948
01:21:02,513 --> 01:21:05,265
Go down well at the Freemasons.
949
01:21:07,393 --> 01:21:11,391
He didn't have to stick with you, you know,
when your mum died.
950
01:21:11,439 --> 01:21:13,515
Nor your sister.
951
01:21:13,566 --> 01:21:17,314
- My boring bloody sister.
- Now, you leave her alone, she's all right.
952
01:21:19,280 --> 01:21:22,649
Thank God she's not like you.
Two of you like that, my God!
953
01:21:24,326 --> 01:21:26,533
He could have put you in a home,
you know.
954
01:21:28,122 --> 01:21:32,202
Not many men would have done what he did
on his own with two young girls.
955
01:21:35,004 --> 01:21:38,455
- He didn't love me.
- Oh, yes, he did.
956
01:21:38,507 --> 01:21:41,294
He didn't show it.
957
01:21:41,343 --> 01:21:45,044
You can't show that kind of thing,
not in this day and age.
958
01:21:49,060 --> 01:21:51,811
You're a pretty young thing...
959
01:21:51,854 --> 01:21:54,262
you're funny, but you're pretty.
960
01:21:55,274 --> 01:21:59,817
You could get yourself a nice husband.
Somebody who'd really look after you.
961
01:22:02,615 --> 01:22:04,358
Do you think?
962
01:22:04,408 --> 01:22:07,030
Yeah, I do.
963
01:22:07,078 --> 01:22:10,032
But not like that.
964
01:22:10,081 --> 01:22:12,998
Who's going to want you like that?
965
01:22:14,377 --> 01:22:16,453
It's not too late. Not yet.
966
01:22:19,298 --> 01:22:22,501
Would you know where to go
if you wanted to get rid of it?
967
01:22:23,803 --> 01:22:27,088
It's all right for you to say that.
It's not you that has to do it.
968
01:22:27,139 --> 01:22:30,010
No, that's right, Lyndie, you're right.
969
01:22:36,190 --> 01:22:38,266
What if I had it?
970
01:22:38,317 --> 01:22:40,393
Then have it adopted.
971
01:22:42,321 --> 01:22:44,397
You must've thought about it.
972
01:22:46,325 --> 01:22:48,152
You keep that kid
and nobody'll want you.
973
01:22:48,202 --> 01:22:51,867
Nobody'll want to know you,
nobody'll want to own you. Nobody.
974
01:22:53,916 --> 01:22:57,961
Forget the whole thing, bury it.
Nobody need know a thing about it.
975
01:23:00,256 --> 01:23:05,498
Christ, it's tough enough, you don't have to
go round banging your head with a hammer.
976
01:23:05,553 --> 01:23:07,629
Look at me.
977
01:23:07,680 --> 01:23:12,674
Look at your father.
Well, I'm hardly ancient, neither's he.
978
01:23:12,727 --> 01:23:16,178
I lost Bill, he lost your mum
and we're on our own, stuck!
979
01:23:16,230 --> 01:23:18,306
There's always enough pain.
980
01:23:19,734 --> 01:23:22,485
What about Maisie Mathews?
981
01:23:22,528 --> 01:23:24,568
Well, why shouldn't he?
982
01:23:24,613 --> 01:23:28,113
What's he expected to do
the rest of his life?
983
01:23:28,159 --> 01:23:30,235
I wish I had somebody.
984
01:23:32,121 --> 01:23:35,739
I hope he used a plonker.
I'd hate to see what'd come out of her.
985
01:23:38,419 --> 01:23:41,124
That's good advice, coming from you.
986
01:23:47,928 --> 01:23:50,598
You're gonna have
to make your own mind up.
987
01:23:50,639 --> 01:23:53,177
- I've got to go.
- Not yet.
988
01:23:53,225 --> 01:23:58,101
It's the buses. I spent ages waiting for you.
989
01:23:58,147 --> 01:24:01,148
- I'm sorry.
- Here.
990
01:24:02,109 --> 01:24:04,600
Now, think about what I said.
991
01:24:04,653 --> 01:24:06,942
You've got to look after yourself, Lyndie.
992
01:24:07,782 --> 01:24:09,442
Here.
993
01:24:11,911 --> 01:24:15,030
Would you know where to go
if that's what you decided?
994
01:24:19,668 --> 01:24:23,037
- To get rid of it?
- If that's what you decided.
995
01:24:24,924 --> 01:24:26,751
I could find out.
996
01:24:28,636 --> 01:24:31,802
I'm going to go, so just you take care.
997
01:26:43,270 --> 01:26:45,346
There you go.
998
01:27:29,024 --> 01:27:31,101
Hello, you lot. Hello, Brian.
999
01:28:14,278 --> 01:28:16,401
Yes, it's mine.
1000
01:28:16,947 --> 01:28:19,023
All mine.
1001
01:29:31,856 --> 01:29:35,189
♪ When it comes to dreams
1002
01:29:35,234 --> 01:29:39,861
♪ Love has always played a leading part
1003
01:29:40,698 --> 01:29:44,861
♪ I don't play for dimes and nickels
1004
01:29:45,745 --> 01:29:51,284
♪ I don't play to be the last
1005
01:29:51,333 --> 01:29:54,169
♪ When it comes to love
1006
01:29:54,211 --> 01:29:58,957
♪ I shoot first, shoot to kill
1007
01:29:59,008 --> 01:30:03,800
♪ I aim straight for the heart
1008
01:30:22,865 --> 01:30:25,190
♪ You won't
1009
01:30:25,242 --> 01:30:27,994
♪ Forsake me
1010
01:30:28,037 --> 01:30:30,706
♪ To heaven
1011
01:30:30,748 --> 01:30:32,824
♪ You take me
1012
01:30:33,876 --> 01:30:36,201
♪ Don't try
1013
01:30:36,253 --> 01:30:38,163
♪ To wake me
1014
01:30:38,214 --> 01:30:40,787
♪ I'm just lost in a dream
1015
01:30:40,841 --> 01:30:43,167
♪ You won't
1016
01:30:43,219 --> 01:30:45,792
♪ Forsake me
1017
01:30:45,846 --> 01:30:48,551
♪ To heaven
1018
01:30:48,599 --> 01:30:50,675
♪ You take me
1019
01:30:51,977 --> 01:30:54,100
♪ Don't try
1020
01:30:54,146 --> 01:30:55,854
♪ To wake me
1021
01:30:55,898 --> 01:30:58,436
♪ I'm just lost in a dream
1022
01:30:58,859 --> 01:31:00,935
♪ I'm just lost in a dream
73373
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