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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,009 ♪ You won't 2 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,843 ♪ Forsake me 3 00:01:11,806 --> 00:01:13,466 ♪ To heaven 4 00:01:14,392 --> 00:01:15,637 ♪ You take me 5 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,099 ♪ Don't try to wake me 6 00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:22,223 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 7 00:01:23,234 --> 00:01:24,977 ♪ I know that you won't 8 00:01:26,612 --> 00:01:28,272 ♪ Forsake me 9 00:01:29,365 --> 00:01:31,025 ♪ To heaven 10 00:01:31,951 --> 00:01:33,196 ♪ You take me 11 00:01:35,079 --> 00:01:37,700 ♪ Don't try to wake me 12 00:01:37,748 --> 00:01:39,408 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 13 00:01:40,459 --> 00:01:43,129 ♪ I'm just lost in a 14 00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,246 ♪ Dream ♪ 15 00:02:26,672 --> 00:02:29,210 - And three, thank you. - Thank you. 16 00:02:46,192 --> 00:02:47,686 Ouch! 17 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,483 - Ow. - Keep still. 18 00:02:50,529 --> 00:02:52,771 Look, do you mind, you're hurting. 19 00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:54,567 It's all part of the training. 20 00:02:54,617 --> 00:02:57,322 None of us is bloody perfect. 21 00:03:03,209 --> 00:03:06,328 Get your head in there. Come on, get a move on. 22 00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:08,455 I say, steady on! 23 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:14,423 - Shouldn't I have a hairnet? - Course not, it doesn't matter. 24 00:03:16,472 --> 00:03:20,137 - You always had small tits and a big bum? - Sorry? 25 00:03:20,184 --> 00:03:24,229 Thought so. I've put you on gas mark four... 26 00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,644 back in two days, all right? 27 00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:31,484 Can I have a magazine? 28 00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:36,902 ...Standing side by side. If you know anything about skipping 29 00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:39,905 you'll know that this is quite fascinating. Stand side by side 30 00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:42,575 and place your near arm round your partner's waist. 31 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,450 I do this with my friend Doris. 32 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:47,335 Or you can hold inside hands. We do that too. 33 00:03:48,421 --> 00:03:51,042 The swing of the rope must be from the wrist in both cases 34 00:03:51,090 --> 00:03:53,415 otherwise the rope will not turn evenly. 35 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,883 And you can have formation skipping teams of any number. 36 00:03:56,929 --> 00:03:58,092 Would you like to join? 37 00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:02,640 Have I got nice tits or have I got nice tits? 38 00:04:06,522 --> 00:04:08,764 I've got better tits than her. 39 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:11,521 At least I don't wear bloody falsies. 40 00:04:18,909 --> 00:04:23,785 - Chevely Wonder. - Seven to two. 41 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,870 - Ought to go. - How much? 42 00:04:25,916 --> 00:04:27,956 - A dollar. - All right. 43 00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,291 - And cross double it with the other two. - OK. 44 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,559 Lynda? 45 00:04:54,904 --> 00:04:56,647 I think you're done, dear. 46 00:04:56,697 --> 00:05:00,113 It's awfully hot under here. 47 00:05:00,159 --> 00:05:01,986 It's always like that. 48 00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:04,871 - Bugger! - There's a very unpleasant smell. 49 00:05:04,914 --> 00:05:07,950 - Don't fidget! - You didn't give me a magazine. 50 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:12,543 You're getting a free bloody perm, what do you expect? 51 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:15,832 Fine. 52 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,710 Good. 53 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,677 Yes. Yes. 54 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:23,129 - Yes. You pleased with that? - Yes, thank you. 55 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,309 Oh. 56 00:05:34,485 --> 00:05:36,394 Look. 57 00:05:37,488 --> 00:05:38,982 Look at my hair! 58 00:05:39,782 --> 00:05:41,656 Look what you've done to my hair! 59 00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,740 Oh, I don't know. 60 00:05:43,786 --> 00:05:46,111 It looks nice. It's nice. 61 00:05:46,163 --> 00:05:47,955 Look at it! Look at it! 62 00:05:47,998 --> 00:05:51,284 Oh, shut up, you silly fat cow! You can always wear a hat. 63 00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:53,411 Lynda, come with me. 64 00:05:57,007 --> 00:05:59,296 People just don't want to hear a lot of filthy talk 65 00:05:59,343 --> 00:06:00,624 when they're having a perm. 66 00:06:00,678 --> 00:06:02,754 Come on, out. 67 00:06:04,306 --> 00:06:08,850 - I did not swear at her. - It's unprofessional and disgusting. 68 00:06:09,645 --> 00:06:11,851 Only took it on to please you. 69 00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:17,311 Look there. Up there. There's an opening waiting. 70 00:06:17,361 --> 00:06:19,686 All yours. Security for life. 71 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,820 This town's full of women crying out for perms. 72 00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:24,491 - Hello, Dad. - Hello, Margaret. 73 00:06:24,535 --> 00:06:26,113 - Hello, Lynda. - Oh, bugger off. 74 00:06:26,162 --> 00:06:28,569 Watch your... Just watch it. 75 00:06:29,415 --> 00:06:32,084 Ever since you were a child, you and your disgusting mouth. 76 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:33,668 Thank you very much. 77 00:06:33,711 --> 00:06:36,628 - There's something wrong with you, my girl. - I'm bloody bored. 78 00:06:36,672 --> 00:06:38,748 Language. 79 00:06:45,765 --> 00:06:47,757 - Cod or haddock, what do you want? - Cod. 80 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,884 Dog. 81 00:06:57,234 --> 00:06:59,357 Elizabeth! Lynda, look. 82 00:06:59,403 --> 00:07:03,068 Look, Margaret, look there. That's your dad! 83 00:07:05,242 --> 00:07:06,820 Come on, Margaret. 84 00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:27,055 Millie. 85 00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,758 Hello, brother. 86 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:33,266 Hello, prettiness. You get prettier every day. 87 00:07:33,312 --> 00:07:35,388 Got a kiss for your father? 88 00:07:36,941 --> 00:07:38,399 Is that Lynda? 89 00:07:40,361 --> 00:07:42,852 Take that off, Lynda. Take it off! 90 00:07:49,245 --> 00:07:50,822 Have you brought us any presents? 91 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,781 Where's that kiss for your dad, Lynda? 92 00:08:00,089 --> 00:08:03,292 No, I don't believe it. When? 93 00:08:03,342 --> 00:08:04,920 Well, this was before the war. 94 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,712 No! I don't believe it. 95 00:08:07,763 --> 00:08:09,922 Spectacular. 96 00:08:09,974 --> 00:08:13,224 On one of the liners? That's correct. 97 00:08:13,269 --> 00:08:15,475 Oh, I just don't believe it, do you? 98 00:08:15,521 --> 00:08:17,348 I don't think the man would lie to us, Joan. 99 00:08:17,398 --> 00:08:20,268 Oh no, I mean, I just can't believe it. 100 00:08:20,317 --> 00:08:22,357 Nor can I. I can. 101 00:08:22,403 --> 00:08:24,194 Oh, you only say that because you never liked her. 102 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:25,649 Who? You. 103 00:08:25,698 --> 00:08:28,901 Never liked who? Gracie Fields! 104 00:08:28,951 --> 00:08:30,149 I think she screaks. 105 00:08:30,202 --> 00:08:32,528 For goodness' sake! Oh, come on! 106 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,987 Your father has cut... 107 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,540 Gracie Fields's hair, how about that then? 108 00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,044 Shampoo, set and trim. 109 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:43,670 - Shampoo, set and trim. - They don't know what you're talking about. 110 00:08:43,716 --> 00:08:45,625 - What? - They think you're off your rocker. 111 00:08:45,676 --> 00:08:46,874 Don't you? 112 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,837 - Our Gracie. 113 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,141 That's Gracie Fields. 114 00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:56,635 - Hardly. - I'll get some more water. 115 00:08:56,687 --> 00:09:00,103 - Show them the picture, Hubert. - I was going to. 116 00:09:00,149 --> 00:09:04,277 - She gave me this. - Ohh, look at that! 117 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,819 - Very nice. - I've not seen this before. 118 00:09:07,865 --> 00:09:10,237 Of course not, woman. 119 00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:13,368 - Can I read what it says? - That's a lock of her hair. 120 00:09:13,412 --> 00:09:16,330 - It's not! - It is. 121 00:09:19,502 --> 00:09:21,660 "To Hubert, 122 00:09:21,712 --> 00:09:24,915 "With thanks and good wishes... 123 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,673 "Gracie Fields." 124 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,302 Lynda just said "up your bum". 125 00:09:31,597 --> 00:09:32,842 And "pig's willy". 126 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:42,934 Out! 127 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,984 - Go on, out! - Hubert... 128 00:09:46,028 --> 00:09:48,946 - Out. - Don't be hard on the girl. 129 00:09:49,573 --> 00:09:53,238 I have not travelled the oceans of the world to come home to language like that. 130 00:09:53,285 --> 00:09:55,361 Bed! 131 00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:58,082 What's the matter? 132 00:11:16,994 --> 00:11:19,699 What's all the fuss about, eh? 133 00:11:21,165 --> 00:11:23,204 I wish he hadn't come home. 134 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,666 I wish he'd stayed at sea with bloody Gracie Fields. 135 00:11:50,486 --> 00:11:52,775 - Hey, no cycling! - Up your bum. 136 00:11:52,822 --> 00:11:55,063 Lynda! Lynda! 137 00:12:10,715 --> 00:12:12,173 Say hello to your Uncle Harry. 138 00:12:12,216 --> 00:12:14,090 - Give us a chance. - Hello, Lynda. 139 00:12:14,135 --> 00:12:15,380 - Your Uncle Harry... - Uncle Harry. 140 00:12:15,428 --> 00:12:18,843 Your Uncle Harry's got a job for you. You start tomorrow. 141 00:12:18,889 --> 00:12:20,847 If you want it. She wants it. 142 00:12:20,891 --> 00:12:24,260 - Start tomorrow at eight. - You'd better get home to bed then. 143 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,637 Good. See you at eight, get you started. 144 00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:28,765 I'm sure you'll be very happy. 145 00:12:29,734 --> 00:12:32,189 Where? Where do I have to be tomorrow at eight? 146 00:12:32,737 --> 00:12:34,813 The garage, the bus company. 147 00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:15,069 Hello. 148 00:13:15,112 --> 00:13:18,612 - Hello? 149 00:13:20,618 --> 00:13:23,156 What are you laughing at? 150 00:13:23,204 --> 00:13:27,498 It's hot. Warm work, riding bikes. 151 00:13:28,584 --> 00:13:30,209 I fancy you, actually. 152 00:13:30,252 --> 00:13:33,337 You can take me to the pictures, there's a Betty Grable film on. 153 00:13:33,381 --> 00:13:35,457 You can take me if you want. 154 00:13:37,802 --> 00:13:39,344 Yeah, maybe. 155 00:13:39,387 --> 00:13:42,091 Do you think I've got legs like Betty Grable? 156 00:13:43,182 --> 00:13:44,261 I don't know. 157 00:13:44,308 --> 00:13:47,724 If you take me on Saturday night, I'll buy my own ticket. 158 00:13:49,146 --> 00:13:50,261 All right. 159 00:13:52,775 --> 00:13:54,234 Bye! 160 00:13:55,945 --> 00:13:57,688 Brian? 161 00:13:57,738 --> 00:13:59,149 Betty Grable! 162 00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:18,956 - Hello. - Hello. 163 00:14:19,009 --> 00:14:20,504 I haven't seen you here before. 164 00:14:20,553 --> 00:14:22,592 - No. - Why not? 165 00:14:22,638 --> 00:14:25,259 I've not been here, have I, drip. 166 00:14:25,766 --> 00:14:28,222 - Would you like to come dancing? 167 00:14:28,269 --> 00:14:30,261 - The Rex, Saturday night. - Lynda. 168 00:14:30,312 --> 00:14:32,305 I'm a good dancer. 169 00:14:32,356 --> 00:14:34,432 I can't, I've already got a date. 170 00:14:34,483 --> 00:14:35,728 Morning, Mr Figgis. 171 00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:37,852 This way please, you're late. 172 00:14:39,238 --> 00:14:42,572 - You don't know what you're missing. - Neither do you. 173 00:16:23,509 --> 00:16:25,252 It's not Betty Grable. 174 00:16:26,762 --> 00:16:27,925 What? 175 00:16:27,972 --> 00:16:30,261 It's not Betty Grable. 176 00:16:30,307 --> 00:16:32,181 This is not a Betty Grable film. 177 00:16:33,686 --> 00:16:35,513 I know... 178 00:16:35,563 --> 00:16:37,851 dri-p. 179 00:16:37,898 --> 00:16:40,733 ... Starting something I can't finish. 180 00:16:40,776 --> 00:16:43,446 Giving you happiness for a little while and... 181 00:16:44,238 --> 00:16:46,480 - and... - Oh, darling... 182 00:16:46,532 --> 00:16:49,449 happiness such as we can have is worth grasping, 183 00:16:49,493 --> 00:16:51,652 even if it's only for a day, an hour. 184 00:16:51,704 --> 00:16:54,029 If you stand on the highest peak for one moment 185 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:58,459 you've had what most people strive in vain for all their lives. 186 00:16:58,502 --> 00:17:02,417 If only I could believe it. Darling, listen to me. 187 00:17:02,465 --> 00:17:05,086 You say you've only a few months. 188 00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:07,590 How long has anyone in the world? How long have I? 189 00:17:07,636 --> 00:17:10,922 A month, a year? Well, perhaps I'll get away with it altogether 190 00:17:10,973 --> 00:17:12,800 and so may you. 191 00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:14,843 But we're all living dangerously. 192 00:17:14,894 --> 00:17:17,467 There isn't an certainty any more. 193 00:17:17,521 --> 00:17:20,392 There's just today and the hope of tomorrow. 194 00:17:21,484 --> 00:17:23,809 Oh, darling. 195 00:17:23,861 --> 00:17:26,945 Please, let's... let's take all the happiness we can 196 00:17:26,989 --> 00:17:29,112 while we can. 197 00:17:29,158 --> 00:17:30,818 Don't be afraid. 198 00:17:32,828 --> 00:17:36,577 All right, my darling. I won't be afraid. 199 00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,080 I'll never be afraid any more. 200 00:17:44,507 --> 00:17:46,795 What's the matter, Lynda? 201 00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,760 What's the matter? 202 00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:04,526 Lynda. 203 00:18:06,237 --> 00:18:07,612 Lynda? 204 00:18:08,697 --> 00:18:10,524 What's the matter? 205 00:18:15,871 --> 00:18:17,947 What's the matter? 206 00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:22,411 Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. 207 00:18:27,299 --> 00:18:31,048 I liked it, it was nice, silly bugger! 208 00:18:58,873 --> 00:19:01,079 Now then, now then, none of that here! 209 00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:03,414 - Steady on! - What do you think you're doing? 210 00:19:03,461 --> 00:19:06,746 - This is a picture palace, not a brothel. - I'm sorry, sir, very sorry. 211 00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,291 I'll be talking to your parents. 212 00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:10,214 Oh, please! It won't happen again. 213 00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:11,539 It's disgusting. 214 00:19:11,594 --> 00:19:13,052 Oh, sod the pair of you! 215 00:19:13,095 --> 00:19:14,554 I'll be talking to your father. 216 00:19:14,597 --> 00:19:16,673 Bloody good luck to you! 217 00:19:16,724 --> 00:19:18,681 Here, get off before I kick your arse. 218 00:19:18,726 --> 00:19:21,133 Go on, or I'll kick your arse! 219 00:19:58,974 --> 00:20:00,599 Yes, sir? 220 00:20:04,605 --> 00:20:07,725 And... they go right up to my belly button. 221 00:20:09,693 --> 00:20:11,520 Marks and Spencer's, do you like them? 222 00:20:11,570 --> 00:20:13,646 - Look nice, don't they? 223 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:27,662 Do you like my suspenders? 224 00:20:27,712 --> 00:20:29,621 What about your knickers? 225 00:20:33,509 --> 00:20:36,843 Stop! Stop this! Out! 226 00:20:37,388 --> 00:20:39,713 - You're fired. 227 00:20:39,765 --> 00:20:41,924 - You're all fired. 228 00:20:41,976 --> 00:20:43,968 No, no, no you're not. 229 00:20:44,019 --> 00:20:45,430 Just you, you're fired. 230 00:20:45,479 --> 00:20:47,519 - You lot, out! 231 00:20:47,565 --> 00:20:50,056 Back to the buses. Get back! 232 00:20:50,109 --> 00:20:53,359 But I was only showing them my new knickers, Mr Figgis. Look! 233 00:21:00,077 --> 00:21:02,912 ♪...Upstairs and downstairs 234 00:21:02,955 --> 00:21:05,411 ♪ In my lady's chamber 235 00:21:05,458 --> 00:21:07,949 ♪ Goosey, goosey, gander 236 00:21:08,002 --> 00:21:10,208 ♪ Where did I wander? 237 00:21:10,254 --> 00:21:12,460 ♪ Upstairs and downstairs 238 00:21:12,506 --> 00:21:14,582 ♪ In my lady's chamber 239 00:21:15,384 --> 00:21:17,341 ♪ Then I saw an old man 240 00:21:17,386 --> 00:21:20,340 ♪ Didn't say his prayers 241 00:21:20,389 --> 00:21:22,548 ♪ Took him by the left leg 242 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,099 ♪ And threw him down the stairs 243 00:21:26,145 --> 00:21:28,351 ♪ Goosey, goosey, gander 244 00:21:28,397 --> 00:21:30,473 ♪ Where did I wander? ♪ 245 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:38,280 Your father says you've, er, 246 00:21:38,324 --> 00:21:40,731 sworn constantly since you were a child. 247 00:21:40,785 --> 00:21:42,611 My first word was bum. 248 00:21:42,661 --> 00:21:43,942 Really? 249 00:21:45,039 --> 00:21:47,744 - He's very worried about your, er... - Swearing. 250 00:21:47,792 --> 00:21:49,868 Yes, that's right, and your... 251 00:21:49,919 --> 00:21:51,995 your behaviour. 252 00:21:53,172 --> 00:21:55,710 As I said, I'm, er... 253 00:21:55,758 --> 00:21:57,834 - I'm here to help you. - That's nice. 254 00:21:57,885 --> 00:21:59,593 Mm. 255 00:21:59,637 --> 00:22:02,591 Once we discover what kind of help you need. 256 00:22:03,682 --> 00:22:04,927 Good. 257 00:22:05,810 --> 00:22:07,636 Do you know what a psychiatrist is? 258 00:22:07,686 --> 00:22:09,763 - No. - You don't? 259 00:22:10,648 --> 00:22:12,059 Do you resent coming here? 260 00:22:12,108 --> 00:22:13,566 No, why should I? 261 00:22:13,609 --> 00:22:15,352 I thought it'd make a nice day out. 262 00:22:17,988 --> 00:22:21,772 I tell you what we'll do, Lynda. Do you mind if I call you Lynda? 263 00:22:21,826 --> 00:22:24,067 I prefer that to Beryl. 264 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:25,863 Is Beryl your second name? 265 00:22:25,913 --> 00:22:27,372 No! 266 00:22:30,334 --> 00:22:32,410 I tell you what we'll do. 267 00:22:33,796 --> 00:22:36,583 Let's go through the alphabet. We'll start at A. 268 00:22:36,632 --> 00:22:37,961 Best place. 269 00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:41,045 And I want you to tell me all the swear words you know 270 00:22:41,095 --> 00:22:42,375 beginning with A. 271 00:22:42,430 --> 00:22:44,588 - Then we'll go on to, er... - B. 272 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,882 And so on. Do you get the picture? 273 00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:50,722 So... A. The letter A. 274 00:22:50,771 --> 00:22:54,105 - Arse. - Arse. Good. 275 00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:55,560 Do you really want me to do this? 276 00:22:55,609 --> 00:22:58,147 - You feel foolish, do you, when you swear? - No... 277 00:22:58,195 --> 00:23:00,069 only when I'm sat here like this. 278 00:23:00,114 --> 00:23:02,107 - Do you feel guilty? - What about? 279 00:23:02,158 --> 00:23:04,649 Let's go on. Arse... 280 00:23:04,702 --> 00:23:06,113 Hole. 281 00:23:06,162 --> 00:23:07,822 - Hole? - Arse. 282 00:23:07,872 --> 00:23:10,279 - Hole. - Yeah, that's it. 283 00:23:10,332 --> 00:23:12,159 Ah, good, yes. 284 00:23:12,209 --> 00:23:14,961 - And holes. - Holes. 285 00:23:15,004 --> 00:23:16,712 Of course. 286 00:23:16,756 --> 00:23:17,787 Let's move on to B. 287 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,757 Leave those behind, ha ha. 288 00:23:20,801 --> 00:23:22,177 B. 289 00:23:22,219 --> 00:23:25,220 - Bloody, bastard, bugger, bum. - Very good. 290 00:23:25,264 --> 00:23:26,842 - And holes. - Holes. 291 00:23:26,891 --> 00:23:28,385 - Bum. - Holes. 292 00:23:28,434 --> 00:23:30,427 Yes, of course, very good. 293 00:23:42,031 --> 00:23:45,281 Now, Lynda... C. 294 00:23:45,326 --> 00:23:46,785 We missed balls. 295 00:23:46,827 --> 00:23:48,903 So we did, never mind. C. 296 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,119 - No. - Take your time. 297 00:23:57,171 --> 00:23:58,369 Can't think of nothing. 298 00:23:58,422 --> 00:24:00,830 Think very hard now. 299 00:24:00,883 --> 00:24:02,591 The letter C. 300 00:24:03,677 --> 00:24:06,513 Something very filthy. 301 00:24:06,555 --> 00:24:08,631 Very, very dirty. 302 00:24:10,976 --> 00:24:12,387 Cacka? 303 00:24:13,729 --> 00:24:14,760 Cacka? 304 00:24:14,814 --> 00:24:17,221 Cacka. Pooh-poohs. 305 00:24:17,274 --> 00:24:19,148 - Are you feeling ashamed? - What of? 306 00:24:19,193 --> 00:24:21,435 - What you're really thinking. - I'm not thinking anything. 307 00:24:21,487 --> 00:24:24,192 - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. 308 00:24:25,324 --> 00:24:26,653 Very well then. D. 309 00:24:26,700 --> 00:24:28,159 - Damn. - Precisely. 310 00:24:28,202 --> 00:24:29,365 F. The letter F. 311 00:24:29,412 --> 00:24:31,451 - We've missed out E. - There isn't one with E. 312 00:24:31,497 --> 00:24:33,822 - There might be. - There isn't, take my word for it. 313 00:24:33,874 --> 00:24:35,950 - We could give it a try. - F. 314 00:24:36,001 --> 00:24:38,409 Can you think of a filthy, dirty, smutty word, 315 00:24:38,462 --> 00:24:39,743 beginning with F. 316 00:24:39,797 --> 00:24:42,205 - Not too hard, I should think, Lynda. - No. 317 00:24:43,175 --> 00:24:45,464 - Come on, come on, of course you can. - I can't. 318 00:24:45,511 --> 00:24:47,420 Of course you can. I can, anybody can. 319 00:24:47,471 --> 00:24:49,049 Well, what then? You tell me. 320 00:24:49,098 --> 00:24:51,589 You must be one of the last people on earth not to know. 321 00:24:51,642 --> 00:24:53,136 Everybody knows a swear word with F. 322 00:24:53,185 --> 00:24:54,977 Then, what are you asking me for? 323 00:24:55,020 --> 00:24:56,515 Because I want to hear you say it. 324 00:24:56,564 --> 00:24:58,188 You dirty old bugger. 325 00:25:08,617 --> 00:25:13,244 It is difficult to be sure without further investigations 326 00:25:13,289 --> 00:25:16,290 but I would conjecture that something has happened to Lynda 327 00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:19,085 during the course of her adolescence. 328 00:25:19,128 --> 00:25:20,788 Her mother died when she was eleven 329 00:25:20,838 --> 00:25:23,294 - would that have anything to do with it? - Possibly. 330 00:25:23,340 --> 00:25:25,333 What can I do? 331 00:25:27,511 --> 00:25:30,181 I'm ashamed of her, Doctor, she's an embarrassment. 332 00:25:30,931 --> 00:25:34,550 - Is there nothing you can do? - She's a difficult case. 333 00:25:34,602 --> 00:25:36,890 Can you make some more appointments for her? 334 00:25:37,897 --> 00:25:41,479 - Will it cost the same for each visit? - Yes, it will. 335 00:25:41,525 --> 00:25:43,732 Then I'm not sure that it's worth it. 336 00:26:14,141 --> 00:26:15,339 Thank you, thank you. 337 00:26:16,352 --> 00:26:17,929 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 338 00:26:17,978 --> 00:26:22,272 we have a star number for you from our feature vocalist, Rudy Stephenson. 339 00:26:22,316 --> 00:26:26,396 And he's going to sing for all you sweethearts and lovers. 340 00:26:26,445 --> 00:26:28,568 And also for Trevor Wilson and Tessa Phipps 341 00:26:28,614 --> 00:26:31,781 - who became engaged today. 342 00:26:35,913 --> 00:26:38,665 Thank you. We'd like you to dance nice and close together, 343 00:26:38,707 --> 00:26:40,996 as Rudy gives you his own very special rendition 344 00:26:41,043 --> 00:26:43,748 of that all-time favourite, Lost In A Dream. 345 00:26:56,559 --> 00:26:59,595 ♪ When it comes to dreams 346 00:26:59,645 --> 00:27:04,437 ♪ Love has always played the leading part 347 00:27:05,651 --> 00:27:10,646 ♪ I don't play for dimes and nickels 348 00:27:11,949 --> 00:27:16,741 ♪ I don't play to be the last 349 00:27:18,122 --> 00:27:20,695 ♪ When it comes to love 350 00:27:20,750 --> 00:27:26,918 ♪ I shoot first, shoot to kill 351 00:27:26,964 --> 00:27:32,385 ♪ I aim straight for the heart 352 00:27:33,596 --> 00:27:38,258 ♪ You won't forsake me 353 00:27:39,602 --> 00:27:44,809 ♪ To heaven you'll take me 354 00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:51,107 ♪ Don't try to wake me 355 00:27:52,364 --> 00:27:57,157 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 356 00:27:58,204 --> 00:28:03,198 ♪ Don't try to wake me 357 00:28:04,085 --> 00:28:11,332 ♪ Cos I'm just lost in a dream ♪ 358 00:28:51,799 --> 00:28:54,551 This is my grandma's bedroom. 359 00:28:54,593 --> 00:28:57,298 That's your grandma's bed. 360 00:29:00,891 --> 00:29:04,011 What did you, er, tell your Dad? 361 00:29:04,061 --> 00:29:06,433 I'm staying with my friend, Pauline. 362 00:29:07,523 --> 00:29:09,183 Where's your gran? 363 00:29:10,192 --> 00:29:11,852 Tunbridge Wells. 364 00:29:14,905 --> 00:29:17,112 She's gonna leave me this house in her will. 365 00:29:50,983 --> 00:29:53,474 You all right in there? 366 00:29:53,527 --> 00:29:58,901 - I'll be out in a minute. - You've been in there bloody hours. 367 00:29:58,949 --> 00:30:01,156 You get into bed. 368 00:30:01,202 --> 00:30:03,278 I might fall asleep. 369 00:30:12,213 --> 00:30:13,837 Cor... 370 00:30:13,881 --> 00:30:15,541 Iook at you. 371 00:30:21,639 --> 00:30:22,670 Do you fancy me? 372 00:30:22,723 --> 00:30:25,641 Not half as much as you fancy yourself. 373 00:30:36,278 --> 00:30:38,318 What kind of cigarette is that? 374 00:30:38,364 --> 00:30:39,609 Du Maurier. 375 00:30:40,491 --> 00:30:43,196 - Really? - They're the best. 376 00:30:51,210 --> 00:30:52,918 Toothpaste. 377 00:30:52,962 --> 00:30:55,251 I'm going to make love to you. 378 00:30:55,297 --> 00:30:56,756 Do bloody hope so. 379 00:30:56,799 --> 00:30:58,922 Like you've never been made love to before. 380 00:30:58,968 --> 00:31:00,759 Shouldn't be too difficult. 381 00:31:00,803 --> 00:31:03,341 I'm going to do it to you... 382 00:31:03,389 --> 00:31:04,848 right now. 383 00:31:09,437 --> 00:31:13,137 I might have a baby. I just thought I'd mention it before we go too far. 384 00:31:13,190 --> 00:31:14,732 No chance. 385 00:31:14,775 --> 00:31:17,895 I'm not so dolly dumb as I look, you know. 386 00:31:17,945 --> 00:31:19,688 Don't worry. 387 00:31:19,739 --> 00:31:21,149 Dave thinks of everything. 388 00:31:21,198 --> 00:31:23,108 Oh, Durrex! 389 00:31:23,159 --> 00:31:25,614 - Durex. - My dad sells these, what are they for? 390 00:31:27,121 --> 00:31:28,781 To stop you having babies. 391 00:31:28,831 --> 00:31:30,076 What? 392 00:31:31,375 --> 00:31:33,451 Crafty bugger! 393 00:31:33,502 --> 00:31:35,661 No wonder he hides them under the counter. 394 00:31:37,006 --> 00:31:38,963 Ugh! 395 00:31:39,008 --> 00:31:41,084 You don't have to eat them, do you? 396 00:31:41,135 --> 00:31:43,009 No. 397 00:31:43,054 --> 00:31:46,138 They're plonkers. What the Yanks call condoms. 398 00:31:46,182 --> 00:31:49,882 You've been done mate. There's not one in this packet. 399 00:31:49,935 --> 00:31:51,478 That's cos I'm wearing it. 400 00:31:53,939 --> 00:31:55,683 Are you? 401 00:31:58,652 --> 00:32:00,526 Yes, I am. 402 00:32:07,119 --> 00:32:10,239 Oh! So you are. 403 00:32:11,457 --> 00:32:13,533 Come on, Dave, quick, let's do it. 404 00:32:14,543 --> 00:32:18,921 - Hang on. 405 00:32:21,967 --> 00:32:24,589 - What are you laughing at? - I'm not, I'm not... 406 00:32:31,018 --> 00:32:34,719 Ooh, ow! 407 00:32:39,193 --> 00:32:41,945 What do we do now? 408 00:32:41,987 --> 00:32:44,313 Oh, Lynda... 409 00:32:44,365 --> 00:32:46,404 Any more fares... 410 00:32:46,450 --> 00:32:47,481 please! 411 00:32:52,498 --> 00:32:54,537 Oh. 412 00:32:56,127 --> 00:32:57,158 That was quick. 413 00:32:57,211 --> 00:32:58,789 Did you like it? 414 00:32:58,838 --> 00:33:01,126 Oh, it was nice, but, um, 415 00:33:01,173 --> 00:33:02,798 quicker than I expected. 416 00:33:02,842 --> 00:33:03,921 Don't worry. 417 00:33:03,968 --> 00:33:05,628 Is it always as quick as that? 418 00:33:05,678 --> 00:33:08,383 No, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it. 419 00:33:09,390 --> 00:33:11,466 We've got all night. 420 00:33:13,227 --> 00:33:14,935 That's good. 421 00:33:14,979 --> 00:33:17,933 Then you'd better swallow another one of these. 422 00:34:01,776 --> 00:34:02,855 What was that? 423 00:34:09,992 --> 00:34:11,949 Oh, my God, who is it? 424 00:34:11,994 --> 00:34:15,078 - Bloomin' heck! - Dave, who is it? 425 00:34:15,122 --> 00:34:16,237 It's my dad! 426 00:34:16,290 --> 00:34:18,448 Wait a second. 427 00:34:20,169 --> 00:34:22,162 If it's my dad, tell him I'm not here! 428 00:34:22,213 --> 00:34:23,375 David! 429 00:34:23,422 --> 00:34:24,620 It's me uncle. 430 00:34:24,673 --> 00:34:26,666 Are you in there, David? - Oh, my God! 431 00:34:26,717 --> 00:34:29,208 - I'll have to let him in. - No! 432 00:34:29,261 --> 00:34:30,637 - Under, quick. - What?! 433 00:34:30,679 --> 00:34:32,055 Get under the bed. 434 00:34:32,098 --> 00:34:33,640 Come on quick! 435 00:34:33,682 --> 00:34:34,845 He's got a key. 436 00:34:34,892 --> 00:34:37,763 If he's got a key, what's he knocking on the bloody door for? 437 00:34:37,812 --> 00:34:39,935 You up there, David? 438 00:34:48,614 --> 00:34:50,939 What you doing in your grandmother's bed? 439 00:34:50,991 --> 00:34:52,450 What's it look like? 440 00:34:52,493 --> 00:34:54,735 Does your grandma know you're sleeping in her bed? 441 00:34:54,787 --> 00:34:56,032 Course she does. 442 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,496 If she comes back and finds you in her bed, there'll be trouble. 443 00:34:59,542 --> 00:35:02,459 - Yeah, all right, so what? - Mitch! 444 00:35:02,503 --> 00:35:05,954 I've been given to understand you brought a girl home here last night. 445 00:35:06,006 --> 00:35:07,205 What? 446 00:35:07,258 --> 00:35:09,665 - Mitch! - Who told you that? 447 00:35:10,720 --> 00:35:12,677 Never you mind. 448 00:35:12,722 --> 00:35:16,850 - I went dancing last night. - At the Rex. 449 00:35:16,892 --> 00:35:20,760 but I never brought no girl home, Uncle Brian, not me. 450 00:35:20,813 --> 00:35:22,852 I wouldn't dream of such a thing, Uncle Brian. 451 00:35:22,898 --> 00:35:24,523 I should hope not. 452 00:35:25,693 --> 00:35:30,070 You should be up, this time of day. You should be out doing something. 453 00:35:30,114 --> 00:35:32,071 Where have you been, church? 454 00:35:32,116 --> 00:35:33,943 Taking the dog for a walk. 455 00:35:33,993 --> 00:35:36,448 Keeping an eye on things. 456 00:35:36,495 --> 00:35:39,947 - The bloody dog's got one of your plonkers! - I know! 457 00:36:21,916 --> 00:36:24,158 - Come on, for God's sake. 458 00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:26,286 - Sorry. - Your dad in? 459 00:36:27,254 --> 00:36:29,543 - What do you want? - Dad in? 460 00:36:29,590 --> 00:36:32,211 No. He's not back yet. 461 00:36:32,259 --> 00:36:34,585 Not back yet? Do you mind if I come in? 462 00:36:34,637 --> 00:36:37,554 Stand there like a bloody dummy, I don't care. 463 00:37:11,966 --> 00:37:13,377 I don't know where he is. 464 00:37:14,510 --> 00:37:16,384 I never said you did. 465 00:37:17,555 --> 00:37:20,259 So what are you staring at, then? 466 00:37:22,727 --> 00:37:27,969 You, er... You gonna take up hairdressing like your dad? 467 00:37:28,023 --> 00:37:29,399 No, thanks. 468 00:37:29,942 --> 00:37:32,860 - Reckon you could give me a trim? - Get the pudding basin. 469 00:37:32,903 --> 00:37:34,563 I'll give it a try. 470 00:37:35,573 --> 00:37:38,064 So, you're the troublesome one eh? 471 00:37:38,117 --> 00:37:40,406 - What do you mean? - What do you mean? 472 00:37:40,453 --> 00:37:42,860 That's what your dad says. 473 00:37:42,913 --> 00:37:44,906 Says you're a troublesome bugger. 474 00:37:44,957 --> 00:37:47,448 He can't wait to get rid of you. 475 00:37:54,967 --> 00:37:56,545 Why are you limping? 476 00:37:56,594 --> 00:37:58,670 What do you mean? 477 00:37:59,889 --> 00:38:02,806 You got something the matter with your leg? 478 00:38:02,850 --> 00:38:04,261 No, why? 479 00:38:07,813 --> 00:38:10,814 You got something the matter with yours? 480 00:38:10,858 --> 00:38:13,147 I don't think so, no. 481 00:38:14,445 --> 00:38:16,983 Think you're it, don't you, hm? 482 00:38:17,031 --> 00:38:18,858 - What do you mean? - What do you mean? 483 00:38:18,908 --> 00:38:21,363 Troublesome bugger. 484 00:38:21,410 --> 00:38:23,533 Think you're God's gift, don't you? 485 00:38:23,579 --> 00:38:26,699 I think I'm all right, thank you very much. 486 00:38:29,877 --> 00:38:32,368 I think you're all the same. 487 00:38:33,756 --> 00:38:36,045 Don't know what you've got it for. 488 00:38:38,135 --> 00:38:40,840 All you young girls... 489 00:38:40,888 --> 00:38:43,806 you're scared... 490 00:38:43,849 --> 00:38:45,972 all talk. 491 00:38:46,018 --> 00:38:49,434 Scared of a real man, ain't you? Eh? 492 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,722 You bugger. 493 00:38:51,774 --> 00:38:54,265 You dirty bugger. 494 00:38:54,318 --> 00:38:57,354 Where's your sister? Eh? 495 00:38:57,405 --> 00:39:00,489 Girl Guides, she's gone to Girl Guides. 496 00:39:03,828 --> 00:39:06,283 I'll see you later out the back when the pub's shut. 497 00:39:06,330 --> 00:39:07,741 That's what you think. 498 00:39:07,790 --> 00:39:10,032 Hubert! 499 00:39:10,084 --> 00:39:12,123 Oh, Eric, how did we do? 500 00:39:12,169 --> 00:39:14,956 - Not so bad, not so bad. - I want a word with you. 501 00:39:15,005 --> 00:39:16,797 - I'm going out. - Are you? 502 00:39:17,633 --> 00:39:21,002 Great Eastern, Blue Boy, Tee's Delight. On the nose, cross doubles and a treble. 503 00:39:21,053 --> 00:39:24,387 - Every one a winner. - Very nice, very nice. 504 00:39:24,432 --> 00:39:26,056 Very nice. 505 00:39:29,061 --> 00:39:30,555 Here... 506 00:39:30,604 --> 00:39:33,356 sixteen pounds there. 507 00:39:33,399 --> 00:39:37,646 Seven and... six. 508 00:39:37,695 --> 00:39:39,319 You're a toff. Here. 509 00:39:39,363 --> 00:39:42,068 - Oh, thanks. - Stay for a drink? 510 00:39:42,116 --> 00:39:44,737 - Oh, no, no, got to push on. Got to push on. 511 00:39:44,785 --> 00:39:46,612 - Come on, parrot. - Parrot. 512 00:39:46,662 --> 00:39:49,782 - Show the man to the door. - Yes, Dad. 513 00:39:51,167 --> 00:39:53,408 - She's a lovely girl, isn't she? - You think so? 514 00:39:53,461 --> 00:39:55,702 - Oh, yeah, lovely girl. - Then make me an offer. 515 00:39:55,755 --> 00:39:57,961 Eh? 516 00:39:58,007 --> 00:39:59,169 Ha ha. 517 00:39:59,216 --> 00:40:02,134 Make me an offer! No reasonable offer refused. 518 00:40:02,178 --> 00:40:04,799 - Half a dollar, on the nose? - Done. 519 00:40:12,813 --> 00:40:15,814 - Hope your finger stinks. - I'll see you later. 520 00:40:15,858 --> 00:40:17,934 Cock off. 521 00:40:24,116 --> 00:40:25,658 Hey! 522 00:40:26,994 --> 00:40:29,200 - Hey! Where do you think you're going? 523 00:40:29,246 --> 00:40:30,278 Out! 524 00:40:30,331 --> 00:40:32,240 - Oh, no, you're not. - Oh, yes, I am. 525 00:40:32,291 --> 00:40:34,747 You're not, I'm telling you, you're not. 526 00:40:34,794 --> 00:40:36,204 You stay in for a change. 527 00:40:36,253 --> 00:40:38,661 I stay in, look after boring you know who, 528 00:40:38,714 --> 00:40:41,039 you go to the pub or club... lovely. 529 00:40:41,092 --> 00:40:42,123 Wrong. Freemasons. 530 00:40:42,176 --> 00:40:43,754 Same thing. Yap, yap, yap, yap. 531 00:40:43,803 --> 00:40:46,969 Bit of this, bit of that, then on to the pub or club with Long John Silver. 532 00:40:47,014 --> 00:40:48,639 It's all bloody boozing. 533 00:40:48,682 --> 00:40:52,466 Lynda, I don't want to hear it, I won't have that kind of talk! Do you hear? 534 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,770 Get rid of me then. Make me an offer, ha ha. 535 00:40:55,815 --> 00:40:58,306 You keep away from bus conductors. 536 00:40:59,402 --> 00:41:02,153 Bus conductor! Look at you, that's just about your... 537 00:41:02,196 --> 00:41:03,987 I'm ashamed to be your father. 538 00:41:04,031 --> 00:41:06,107 Oh, cock off! 539 00:41:07,785 --> 00:41:09,742 Hey! You're not too old madam! 540 00:41:09,787 --> 00:41:11,032 Remember that! 541 00:41:59,879 --> 00:42:03,129 - Your bike's on fire. - Up your bum! 542 00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:24,770 You'll have to wait a bloody long time, Mr Stinky Finger, 543 00:42:24,820 --> 00:42:27,062 parrot chops, Long John Silver. 544 00:42:43,214 --> 00:42:49,466 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum, up your bum, up your bum ♪ 545 00:42:55,142 --> 00:42:57,384 Up your bum, Mr Long John Silver. 546 00:43:02,358 --> 00:43:06,225 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum 547 00:43:06,278 --> 00:43:08,769 ♪ Up... your... bum 548 00:43:10,741 --> 00:43:12,235 ♪ Up your bum 549 00:43:12,284 --> 00:43:13,743 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum 550 00:43:13,786 --> 00:43:17,071 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum 551 00:43:17,123 --> 00:43:20,574 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum! 552 00:43:20,626 --> 00:43:24,754 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum, up your bum! 553 00:43:24,797 --> 00:43:25,995 ♪ Up your bum! 554 00:43:26,048 --> 00:43:28,883 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum! 555 00:43:28,926 --> 00:43:31,927 ♪ Up your bum, up your bum! Up your bum! 556 00:43:31,971 --> 00:43:34,676 ♪ Up your bum! ♪ 557 00:43:34,724 --> 00:43:36,800 What's going on down there? 558 00:43:36,851 --> 00:43:39,852 Just trying to find the cat, Mrs Fartley. 559 00:43:40,938 --> 00:43:42,765 Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. 560 00:43:42,815 --> 00:43:44,226 Oh! Ooh! 561 00:43:48,779 --> 00:43:51,235 - Next. - Two sixes ple... 562 00:43:52,867 --> 00:43:55,440 Can I have two sixes, please? 563 00:43:55,494 --> 00:43:56,988 Two sixes. 564 00:44:05,296 --> 00:44:07,502 Open or closed? 565 00:44:07,548 --> 00:44:09,671 Er, open please. 566 00:44:19,101 --> 00:44:21,426 Two sixes, a shilling please. 567 00:44:21,479 --> 00:44:26,900 - Sorry I haven't got anything, er, bigger. - No bother, we can use the change. 568 00:44:28,110 --> 00:44:29,569 Next. 569 00:44:30,321 --> 00:44:33,986 I want two cod and fours, a cod and six, a plaice and six 570 00:44:34,033 --> 00:44:36,606 two threes, three fours and a couple of sixes. 571 00:44:37,453 --> 00:44:38,733 All with crispy bits. 572 00:44:39,371 --> 00:44:41,613 - Open or closed? - Closed. 573 00:44:45,753 --> 00:44:47,792 Two cod and four, a cod and six, 574 00:44:47,838 --> 00:44:50,543 - what else? - A plaice and six, 575 00:44:50,591 --> 00:44:53,592 two threes, three fours and a couple of sixes, 576 00:44:53,636 --> 00:44:55,628 - all with crispy bits. - Please! 577 00:44:55,679 --> 00:44:56,924 Please. 578 00:46:03,831 --> 00:46:04,994 Cock off. 579 00:46:10,629 --> 00:46:13,037 Dave? 580 00:46:15,051 --> 00:46:17,542 I'll see you later. 581 00:46:22,725 --> 00:46:24,219 Hello, Lynda. 582 00:46:27,146 --> 00:46:29,684 There, you bugger, that's for you. 583 00:46:29,732 --> 00:46:32,057 Lynda, I'm sorry. 584 00:46:32,109 --> 00:46:34,814 Too bloody late. 585 00:47:32,253 --> 00:47:34,126 Ooh! 586 00:47:48,310 --> 00:47:50,884 Hello, it's me, troublesome bugger, remember? 587 00:47:50,938 --> 00:47:53,856 - About bloody time. - Cheeky sod. 588 00:47:53,899 --> 00:47:58,193 - What are you hanging about here for? - Collecting bets. 589 00:47:58,237 --> 00:48:00,313 Come and stand over by this wall. 590 00:48:00,364 --> 00:48:02,855 Shh. This way. 591 00:48:04,577 --> 00:48:06,450 Come on! 592 00:48:09,498 --> 00:48:10,577 Come on, hurry up. 593 00:48:22,928 --> 00:48:25,004 Have you got a match? 594 00:48:45,493 --> 00:48:47,984 Can I have my matches back? 595 00:48:48,037 --> 00:48:50,113 Mr Mingy. 596 00:48:59,048 --> 00:49:00,672 What's this? 597 00:49:00,716 --> 00:49:02,341 There. 598 00:49:04,178 --> 00:49:06,005 How many you had on there? 599 00:49:06,055 --> 00:49:07,929 Oh, a few. 600 00:49:09,016 --> 00:49:11,139 - How many bus conductors? - Oh, loads. 601 00:49:11,185 --> 00:49:14,519 I'm not fussy, that's why I'm here with you. 602 00:49:15,898 --> 00:49:19,397 - So, you had a bust-up with your boyfriend. - Word gets round quick. 603 00:49:19,443 --> 00:49:21,685 All the little tongues go clack, clack, clack. 604 00:49:24,198 --> 00:49:25,526 What's all this then? 605 00:49:26,075 --> 00:49:28,233 I come here to sleep, 606 00:49:28,285 --> 00:49:31,286 to escape my dad and boring bloody sister. 607 00:49:31,330 --> 00:49:32,990 Who with? 608 00:49:35,584 --> 00:49:37,244 You. 609 00:49:43,426 --> 00:49:45,383 What you got down there, then? 610 00:49:45,428 --> 00:49:48,547 - Don't know, have to have a look. - Have a look? 611 00:50:06,490 --> 00:50:08,779 Do you love me? 612 00:50:08,826 --> 00:50:11,613 No, I don't love anybody, 613 00:50:11,662 --> 00:50:13,738 not even meself. 614 00:50:17,334 --> 00:50:18,912 Bloody hell. 615 00:50:18,961 --> 00:50:20,206 Come on. 616 00:50:41,108 --> 00:50:43,599 - Think you're it, don't you? - You said that before. 617 00:50:43,652 --> 00:50:44,684 Then I must be right. 618 00:50:44,737 --> 00:50:48,900 You don't know how lucky you are, I'm practically a virgin. 619 00:50:54,580 --> 00:50:56,656 You've still got your pants on. 620 00:50:56,707 --> 00:50:58,166 Not for long. 621 00:51:06,634 --> 00:51:08,211 Oh, my God, it's my dad. 622 00:51:08,260 --> 00:51:10,052 - It's my dad! - Quiet! 623 00:51:20,022 --> 00:51:21,267 Oh! 624 00:51:21,315 --> 00:51:23,557 I'm very sorry, madam, the, er... 625 00:51:23,609 --> 00:51:26,693 the gate was open and I thought you might have intruders. 626 00:51:27,363 --> 00:51:29,439 Beg your pardon. 627 00:51:31,659 --> 00:51:34,114 Oh my God, bloody hell. 628 00:51:34,161 --> 00:51:37,447 If he wakes my dad, we're both dead! 629 00:51:37,498 --> 00:51:39,537 I thought it was him, I really did. 630 00:51:40,251 --> 00:51:43,252 Don't light the candle, if he come out here we're dead. 631 00:51:43,295 --> 00:51:45,205 Shut up and come down here. 632 00:51:45,256 --> 00:51:47,663 - Oh, my heart. - Come here. 633 00:51:55,182 --> 00:51:59,429 I'm shaking like a bag of jelly, can you feel? We left the bloody gate open. 634 00:51:59,478 --> 00:52:01,934 What's the worry? Forget it. 635 00:52:01,981 --> 00:52:05,397 - I thought it was him. - What's it matter? 636 00:52:06,485 --> 00:52:09,735 I can take care of your old man you take care of mine. 637 00:52:09,780 --> 00:52:13,564 - Oh, thank God it wasn't him. - What's it matter? 638 00:52:13,617 --> 00:52:15,657 - He don't care. - Who? 639 00:52:15,703 --> 00:52:19,487 Your dad. Can't wait to get shut of you. 640 00:52:19,540 --> 00:52:21,782 Half a dollar. 641 00:52:21,834 --> 00:52:26,128 - That's what you think. - That's what I know. 642 00:52:26,172 --> 00:52:29,541 - What do you mean? - What do you mean? 643 00:52:29,592 --> 00:52:34,966 He told me. He can't wait to get rid of you. 644 00:52:35,014 --> 00:52:39,640 Says you're a bloody nuisance, which you are. 645 00:52:39,685 --> 00:52:44,098 He's fed up looking after you. 646 00:52:44,148 --> 00:52:47,481 Big girl like you, should be looking after yourself. 647 00:52:48,569 --> 00:52:51,689 So what if he does come in here? I don't care. 648 00:52:52,740 --> 00:52:54,614 Mm? 649 00:52:54,658 --> 00:52:55,903 Can't do it now. 650 00:52:55,951 --> 00:52:57,861 - Why not? - I'm scared. 651 00:52:57,912 --> 00:53:01,494 - You're not leaving here until you do. - You have to wear a plonker. 652 00:53:01,540 --> 00:53:03,035 Uh-uh. 653 00:53:04,126 --> 00:53:05,620 I'm not doing it unless you do. 654 00:53:05,669 --> 00:53:09,085 - You don't know what you're missing. - No plonker, no nookie. 655 00:53:09,131 --> 00:53:12,714 Look, I'm an expert, I know what I'm doing, I'll look after you. 656 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,298 Look, I'm a cowboy, didn't you know that, eh? 657 00:53:15,346 --> 00:53:18,051 The best bare-back riders in town. 658 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:30,604 ♪ There's some cotton thread and needles for the folks away up yonder 659 00:53:30,653 --> 00:53:33,986 ♪ A shovel for a miner who left his home to wander 660 00:53:34,031 --> 00:53:38,076 ♪ Some rheumatism pills for the settlers in the hills 661 00:53:38,119 --> 00:53:42,911 ♪ Get along, mule! Get along ♪ 662 00:53:43,666 --> 00:53:50,333 Big finish. ♪ Get along, mule, get along! ♪ 663 00:54:05,229 --> 00:54:07,934 That was wonderful! Truly wonderful. 664 00:54:07,982 --> 00:54:10,651 I have to give you a big kiss for that. 665 00:54:11,235 --> 00:54:13,026 Come here! 666 00:54:16,407 --> 00:54:20,274 - You should be a professional. - Oh, I am, I am. 667 00:54:20,327 --> 00:54:22,403 You too, Harry. 668 00:54:23,873 --> 00:54:25,415 Any more, any more? 669 00:54:35,342 --> 00:54:37,750 What about you, Auntie Millie? 670 00:54:37,803 --> 00:54:40,590 Oh, I suppose so, why not? 671 00:54:40,639 --> 00:54:43,130 You make me sound like some old woman. 672 00:54:44,226 --> 00:54:45,769 You too, Joan. 673 00:54:45,811 --> 00:54:48,302 Oh, I thought you'd have to have a go at me. 674 00:54:49,190 --> 00:54:51,266 He's not fussy. 675 00:54:53,194 --> 00:54:54,854 And... 676 00:54:54,904 --> 00:54:58,023 the lovely Lynda. 677 00:55:02,453 --> 00:55:04,861 Isn't she lovely? 678 00:55:05,956 --> 00:55:07,237 Lovely. 679 00:55:09,126 --> 00:55:12,127 ♪ In, out, in, out, shake it all about 680 00:55:12,171 --> 00:55:15,421 ♪ You do the hokey cokey and you turn around 681 00:55:15,466 --> 00:55:18,633 ♪ And that's what it's all about ♪ 682 00:55:18,677 --> 00:55:21,169 ♪ Oh, hokey cokey cokey! 683 00:55:22,264 --> 00:55:24,553 ♪ Oh, hokey cokey cokey! 684 00:55:25,226 --> 00:55:27,977 ♪ Oh, hokey cokey cokey! 685 00:55:28,020 --> 00:55:31,436 ♪ Knees bend, arms stretch, ra ra ra! ♪ 686 00:56:45,973 --> 00:56:47,764 Your mother wouldn't approve. 687 00:56:48,642 --> 00:56:50,968 Pity she's not here to say. 688 00:56:57,610 --> 00:56:59,686 She'd have shown you the door. 689 00:56:59,737 --> 00:57:01,813 I've seen it. 690 00:57:22,718 --> 00:57:24,794 I'm a respected man, Lynda. 691 00:57:27,807 --> 00:57:29,883 A freemason. 692 00:57:31,852 --> 00:57:33,928 I know that doesn't mean much to you. 693 00:57:36,065 --> 00:57:38,141 Why should it? 694 00:57:41,153 --> 00:57:45,151 I'm not here to be made a bloody fool of, Lynda. 695 00:57:46,158 --> 00:57:48,234 There's such thing as dignity. 696 00:57:57,753 --> 00:57:59,829 You seem to think you're smart 697 00:58:01,966 --> 00:58:04,539 but I'm afraid you'll end up the bloody fool. 698 00:58:08,305 --> 00:58:10,381 Just don't do it in my house. 699 00:58:11,434 --> 00:58:14,470 I don't want to be witness to that kind of spectacle. 700 00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:16,596 What about Maisie Mathews? 701 00:58:24,697 --> 00:58:27,104 I'm a man. 702 00:58:39,628 --> 00:58:42,629 I don't know why you've turned out the way you have. 703 00:58:42,673 --> 00:58:44,749 God knows! 704 00:58:47,803 --> 00:58:49,879 You're... You're in such a rush. 705 00:58:52,349 --> 00:58:54,426 Why be in such a rush about it all? 706 01:01:34,011 --> 01:01:35,209 I've left him. 707 01:01:36,972 --> 01:01:38,965 - Who? - Who? Him! 708 01:01:39,433 --> 01:01:42,007 And my boring bloody sister. 709 01:01:42,061 --> 01:01:43,970 She said she wants to join the army. 710 01:01:44,021 --> 01:01:47,271 I thought she meant the Sally Army, but she means the army. 711 01:01:51,362 --> 01:01:54,067 - How'd you get in? - It's not locked, is it? 712 01:01:56,617 --> 01:01:59,238 You said you wanted me through the night. You've got me now. 713 01:01:59,286 --> 01:02:01,575 Father's blessing. Good riddance. 714 01:02:04,625 --> 01:02:06,250 Can bugger off if you want. 715 01:02:13,759 --> 01:02:15,835 Now... 716 01:02:44,623 --> 01:02:46,949 Come here. 717 01:03:03,517 --> 01:03:05,593 Cuddle me, please. 718 01:03:08,189 --> 01:03:10,265 I'll clear up. 719 01:03:11,734 --> 01:03:13,810 It's a bloody mess in here. 720 01:03:15,863 --> 01:03:17,939 You stink of booze and fags. 721 01:03:23,496 --> 01:03:25,654 You stink of chip fat. 722 01:03:28,751 --> 01:03:30,827 It's this. 723 01:03:30,961 --> 01:03:33,287 No, it's not. 724 01:03:33,339 --> 01:03:35,415 Take it off. 725 01:03:58,322 --> 01:04:00,398 You'd better take this off and all. 726 01:04:03,369 --> 01:04:07,367 I can just fit you in before the Novices Handicap at Kempton. 727 01:04:08,916 --> 01:04:11,158 Oh, come on, come on. What's all the fuss? 728 01:04:14,046 --> 01:04:17,083 Hold me, please. Just hold me. 729 01:04:17,133 --> 01:04:19,042 What's the matter? 730 01:04:19,093 --> 01:04:21,714 Gone off it, have you? Not going to do it any more? 731 01:04:21,762 --> 01:04:23,387 No! 732 01:04:23,431 --> 01:04:25,922 We'll have to ring the papers about that, won't we? 733 01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:30,051 - I'll go to Bournemouth. - You what? 734 01:04:30,104 --> 01:04:32,891 You what? Bournemouth. 735 01:04:34,024 --> 01:04:36,397 If you don't want me, I'll run away to bloody Bournemouth. 736 01:04:36,444 --> 01:04:38,483 Course I want you. 737 01:04:38,529 --> 01:04:41,863 They don't have fish and chip shops in Bournemouth, you know. 738 01:04:41,907 --> 01:04:43,070 Or sheds. 739 01:04:43,117 --> 01:04:45,442 Now, what would you do without fish and chips, 740 01:04:45,494 --> 01:04:47,617 sheds and my old man, eh? 741 01:05:04,722 --> 01:05:07,047 - Come on. 742 01:05:07,099 --> 01:05:09,139 - Come on. 743 01:07:06,719 --> 01:07:08,510 Come on, lovey. 744 01:07:48,969 --> 01:07:51,591 Hold it still, ladies. Stay still. 745 01:07:53,140 --> 01:07:55,216 Hold it just like that, ladies. 746 01:07:55,267 --> 01:07:56,382 Very still. 747 01:07:56,435 --> 01:07:58,013 Thank you. 748 01:07:58,062 --> 01:07:59,437 - Oh! 749 01:08:19,208 --> 01:08:22,957 - Thank you, sir. - Thank you. 750 01:08:23,003 --> 01:08:26,088 - Thank you, madam. - Thank you so much. 751 01:08:32,930 --> 01:08:34,175 Can I help you, sir? 752 01:08:36,016 --> 01:08:37,215 Cup of tea, please. 753 01:08:37,268 --> 01:08:39,260 We don't serve cups of tea, sir. 754 01:08:39,311 --> 01:08:41,802 Only pots, that's teapots, not piss pots, 755 01:08:41,856 --> 01:08:43,932 although we can always make exceptions. 756 01:08:43,983 --> 01:08:46,390 If you want a cup of tea you must go to the caff 757 01:08:46,444 --> 01:08:47,724 with all the other riffraff. 758 01:08:47,778 --> 01:08:50,186 - This is a café. - Pot of tea then. 759 01:08:50,239 --> 01:08:51,437 Smart arse. 760 01:08:51,490 --> 01:08:54,776 - Language. - And a bit of cake. 761 01:08:56,495 --> 01:08:57,610 Or a bun. 762 01:08:57,663 --> 01:09:00,581 Bath bun, Chelsea bun, currant bun, honey bun, up your bum. 763 01:09:00,624 --> 01:09:02,617 Fairy buns, seed cake, cherry cake, fruit cake, 764 01:09:02,668 --> 01:09:05,289 ginger cake, Eccles cake, teacake, lemon cakes, 765 01:09:05,337 --> 01:09:06,369 Swiss rolls, dinkie rolls, 766 01:09:06,422 --> 01:09:09,707 jam sandwiches, macaroons, cheese straws and scones. 767 01:09:09,759 --> 01:09:11,502 I'll just have the tea. 768 01:09:11,552 --> 01:09:12,667 Please. 769 01:09:14,180 --> 01:09:16,256 - Please. - Thank you. 770 01:09:25,316 --> 01:09:27,474 - Him, there. Can you see? - Yeah. 771 01:09:27,526 --> 01:09:29,400 All right, serve him, will you, Vickie? 772 01:09:29,445 --> 01:09:33,692 And if he asks where I've gone, tell him I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore. 773 01:09:39,997 --> 01:09:42,405 Tea, sir. 774 01:09:42,458 --> 01:09:44,664 Where's the... Where's the other young lady? 775 01:09:44,710 --> 01:09:47,497 - Pardon? - Where's the waitress who took my order? 776 01:09:47,546 --> 01:09:50,631 Oh, you mean the waitress who took your order, sir. 777 01:09:50,674 --> 01:09:52,050 That's right. 778 01:09:52,093 --> 01:09:54,797 She's got an urgent call and had to leave, sir. 779 01:09:56,597 --> 01:09:58,673 Where to? 780 01:09:58,724 --> 01:10:00,183 Singa-bloody-pore, sir. 781 01:10:18,911 --> 01:10:21,153 There he is. 782 01:10:21,205 --> 01:10:23,826 There he is. There he is. 783 01:10:26,502 --> 01:10:29,456 He thinks I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore! 784 01:10:32,842 --> 01:10:34,918 - Lynda! 785 01:10:42,017 --> 01:10:43,891 Sh! 786 01:10:54,739 --> 01:10:56,565 Lynda. 787 01:10:57,950 --> 01:11:00,192 I wish he'd clear off. 788 01:11:06,876 --> 01:11:09,367 Go away! Clear off! 789 01:11:14,884 --> 01:11:17,256 Lynda! 790 01:11:20,264 --> 01:11:22,470 Lynda! 791 01:11:22,516 --> 01:11:25,802 Why don't you just bugger off? Go away! 792 01:11:25,853 --> 01:11:27,810 Can't you see where you're not wanted? 793 01:11:27,855 --> 01:11:30,227 I don't need none of you, just bugger off! 794 01:11:32,109 --> 01:11:34,185 Lyndie! 795 01:11:34,236 --> 01:11:37,855 Lyndie, oh, I say! Never called me Lyndie before. 796 01:11:37,907 --> 01:11:41,192 Must be after something. Ha, bloody, ha! 797 01:11:41,243 --> 01:11:43,035 But I miss you. I came to see you. 798 01:11:43,079 --> 01:11:46,661 - I bet I know what you're missing! - Look, you just cleared off! 799 01:11:46,707 --> 01:11:48,534 I come back, you'd gone. 800 01:11:48,584 --> 01:11:50,909 I thought you'd still be there, I really did. 801 01:11:50,961 --> 01:11:53,583 Oh... just bugger off, I don't want to think about it. 802 01:11:53,631 --> 01:11:56,667 What's to think about? Come on, I'll take you for a drink. 803 01:11:56,717 --> 01:11:59,422 - You're just after your oats. - And your mate. 804 01:11:59,470 --> 01:12:02,305 I'll take you both for a drink... a meal, if you want. 805 01:12:02,348 --> 01:12:04,637 Oh, look out, Vickie, he's after the two of us. 806 01:12:04,683 --> 01:12:07,637 - Ahh, I bet you're missing it as well. - Do you? 807 01:12:07,686 --> 01:12:10,059 How much? How much do you want to bet? 808 01:12:10,106 --> 01:12:12,015 I wouldn't want to take your money. 809 01:12:12,066 --> 01:12:13,809 Lynda up the duff, then, 810 01:12:13,859 --> 01:12:17,442 what odds do you put on that, eh, Mr Clever Dick, eh? 811 01:12:17,488 --> 01:12:21,533 Oh, look, that's shut his gob. That's put a crease in his brand-new suit! 812 01:12:21,575 --> 01:12:23,734 - I don't believe you. - Don't you? 813 01:12:23,786 --> 01:12:26,111 - You're joking! - Am I? 814 01:12:26,163 --> 01:12:28,322 I don't believe you. 815 01:12:28,374 --> 01:12:31,244 - How? - How what? 816 01:12:31,293 --> 01:12:32,953 How do you know? 817 01:12:33,003 --> 01:12:37,297 You're the one that should know! You put it up me, Mr Bareback Rider. 818 01:12:37,341 --> 01:12:40,508 You knew when you were gonna spunk. How the hell was I supposed to know? 819 01:12:40,553 --> 01:12:42,426 No, you soft cow, I mean how do you know? 820 01:12:42,471 --> 01:12:44,797 - Are you sure? - You're the one all eyes. 821 01:12:44,849 --> 01:12:47,600 - Look! Can't you see? - No, I can't. 822 01:12:47,643 --> 01:12:49,849 All you see is tits and arses. 823 01:12:50,813 --> 01:12:53,648 - Have you seen a doctor? - Huh! 824 01:12:53,691 --> 01:12:55,767 Then how do you know it's mine? 825 01:12:55,818 --> 01:12:59,863 If it walks with a limp and thinks with its prick, then it's yours. 826 01:12:59,905 --> 01:13:03,109 But how do you know? I don't know that, do I? 827 01:13:03,159 --> 01:13:05,732 - You stupid... - Lynda! 828 01:13:05,786 --> 01:13:07,245 - Get off! - Lynda! 829 01:13:07,288 --> 01:13:09,660 - Get off! - Get off of me! Get off! 830 01:13:09,749 --> 01:13:12,749 Lynda! Lynda, stop it! 831 01:13:12,793 --> 01:13:14,952 Leave me alone! Piss off, you... 832 01:13:15,004 --> 01:13:17,459 Leave... me... alone! 833 01:13:17,506 --> 01:13:19,582 Piss off! 834 01:13:22,053 --> 01:13:23,595 Whoops-a-daisy. 835 01:13:23,637 --> 01:13:25,096 Lynda, come on. 836 01:13:25,139 --> 01:13:27,215 Here we are. 837 01:13:51,457 --> 01:13:53,533 Where's the paper? 838 01:14:10,017 --> 01:14:12,176 This is it. 839 01:14:21,737 --> 01:14:23,896 Doesn't look too bad. 840 01:14:25,991 --> 01:14:28,364 What does she do? Did Doris say? 841 01:14:28,411 --> 01:14:31,162 No. 842 01:14:31,205 --> 01:14:35,416 - Is it knitting needles and all that? - I don't know. 843 01:14:38,754 --> 01:14:40,830 How much? 844 01:14:49,056 --> 01:14:51,263 Where am I gonna get that sort of money? 845 01:15:00,943 --> 01:15:03,101 Come on, let's go and have a cup of tea. 846 01:15:23,382 --> 01:15:26,052 - Oh, sorry madam. I'm sorry. 847 01:15:33,017 --> 01:15:34,345 Yes, what do you want? 848 01:15:36,937 --> 01:15:38,135 Can I help you, sir? 849 01:15:38,189 --> 01:15:40,312 From the moment you walked through that door I thought, 850 01:15:40,357 --> 01:15:42,599 "That's my daughter and she's a slut!" 851 01:15:42,651 --> 01:15:43,980 Thank you, sir. Will that be all, sir? 852 01:15:44,028 --> 01:15:46,815 Don't be clever, Lynda. From where I'm sitting you don't look clever. 853 01:15:46,864 --> 01:15:48,655 I know why you're here and I don't want to discuss it. 854 01:15:48,699 --> 01:15:51,985 So, do you want a pot of tea or would you just prefer to clear off? 855 01:15:52,036 --> 01:15:54,194 - I'm disgusted, Lynda. - With lemon, sir? 856 01:15:54,246 --> 01:15:56,916 I thought I could have a perfectly reasonable conversation with you. 857 01:15:56,957 --> 01:15:59,994 - I thought I could come here and... - I don't want you here, I'm at work. 858 01:16:00,044 --> 01:16:02,582 And I've got Hermann Goebbels breathing down my neck, just clear off! 859 01:16:02,630 --> 01:16:06,295 I thought we could have a reasonable conversation but all I wanna do is clout you. 860 01:16:06,342 --> 01:16:08,381 Would you like a pot of tea first, sir? 861 01:16:08,427 --> 01:16:10,301 Listen to you and your mouth, look where it's got you. 862 01:16:10,346 --> 01:16:13,596 Dad, I can't discuss it. Will you just go away, I need this job! 863 01:16:13,641 --> 01:16:16,642 - You're going to need more than a job. - Oh, please, just bugger off! 864 01:16:16,685 --> 01:16:18,643 Is anything the matter, Miss Mansell? 865 01:16:18,687 --> 01:16:21,013 - Is everything to your satisfaction, sir? - No, it's not. 866 01:16:21,065 --> 01:16:23,271 Is everything to your satisfaction, sir? 867 01:16:23,317 --> 01:16:24,598 You see, what can you do? 868 01:16:24,652 --> 01:16:26,443 - How do you put up with it? - Oh, shut up! 869 01:16:26,487 --> 01:16:29,156 This is disgraceful. Go to the kitchen immediately, Miss Mansell. 870 01:16:29,198 --> 01:16:31,440 No, I won't go to the kitchen. Stuff the bloody kitchen. 871 01:16:31,492 --> 01:16:33,034 - Just watch your mouth! - Please! 872 01:16:33,077 --> 01:16:35,235 This is what it's like, you see, this is what you get. 873 01:16:35,287 --> 01:16:37,494 - Now you can begin to see my side of it. - Oh, please, just bugger off! 874 01:16:37,540 --> 01:16:38,571 - Now, please! - I said please. 875 01:16:38,624 --> 01:16:40,830 - Do you see? - Look, what is going on? 876 01:16:40,876 --> 01:16:42,916 - I've given her a lot of time... - Please, sir! 877 01:16:42,962 --> 01:16:44,789 - Made a lot of sacrifices. - Oh, God! 878 01:16:44,839 --> 01:16:48,753 - Though, God knows, you wouldn't think it. - What are you staring at, you old bag? 879 01:16:48,801 --> 01:16:51,422 Please. Mrs... Madam... please! 880 01:16:51,470 --> 01:16:53,379 - Well, she is an old bag! - That is enough! 881 01:16:53,431 --> 01:16:55,008 - Lynda! - Allow me to apologise. 882 01:16:55,057 --> 01:16:59,387 She whinges about everything. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, every bloody day. 883 01:16:59,437 --> 01:17:01,263 That is enough. Language, please! 884 01:17:01,313 --> 01:17:02,808 Well, it's true, what's wrong with the truth? 885 01:17:02,857 --> 01:17:05,015 You're fired! You are dismissed. 886 01:17:05,067 --> 01:17:06,478 - Get out! - No, I won't! 887 01:17:06,527 --> 01:17:09,100 This one goes around with his brown nose up in the air, 888 01:17:09,155 --> 01:17:11,859 down on the carpet, la-di-dah this, la-di-dah that. 889 01:17:11,907 --> 01:17:14,612 The cook spits in the buns and we all piss in the teapots. 890 01:17:14,660 --> 01:17:17,661 - That is enough. Out! - She's a bad lot, and that's the truth. 891 01:17:17,705 --> 01:17:19,828 Nothing but trouble, that's the way it's always been. 892 01:17:19,874 --> 01:17:22,993 - This is my father speaking. - Since she could speak, she's uttered filth. 893 01:17:23,044 --> 01:17:26,210 From the day she uttered her first word her tongue has caused nothing but trouble. 894 01:17:26,255 --> 01:17:28,046 - This is my father. - Sometimes I doubt it. 895 01:17:28,090 --> 01:17:31,755 - An insult to my dead mother. - I'm sorry but this cannot go on. 896 01:17:31,802 --> 01:17:35,503 I'm up the duff! That's what's up his nose! I'm pregnant! In the club! 897 01:17:35,556 --> 01:17:37,798 Right, that's it! That's enough! 898 01:17:37,850 --> 01:17:40,139 A man's willy has entered my person 899 01:17:40,186 --> 01:17:42,474 - and left a little visitor behind. - Get down! 900 01:17:42,521 --> 01:17:44,893 - This is a matter for the police. - This is the man 901 01:17:44,940 --> 01:17:46,933 - who once gave one to Gracie Fields. - Down! 902 01:17:46,984 --> 01:17:48,313 I'm calling the police. 903 01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:51,231 - A member of the British Legion. - Get down! 904 01:17:51,280 --> 01:17:54,447 - Am I the only one who does it? - This is not my daughter. 905 01:17:54,492 --> 01:17:56,401 - What do you lot do, eh? - Not my daughter. 906 01:17:56,452 --> 01:17:58,658 - What do you play with in bed at night? - I disown her! 907 01:17:58,704 --> 01:18:01,373 Hands up all those that like willies, I do! 908 01:18:02,416 --> 01:18:03,994 The police are coming. 909 01:18:04,043 --> 01:18:06,166 - Balls! - Ladies and Gentlemen... 910 01:18:06,212 --> 01:18:09,628 I would like to apologise for this disgraceful display... 911 01:18:09,673 --> 01:18:11,962 So what, I'm up the duff, who cares? 912 01:18:12,009 --> 01:18:14,500 - I will settle. - I like willies! 913 01:18:14,553 --> 01:18:18,421 - Get her down! - All these teas on me. Right? 914 01:18:18,474 --> 01:18:22,472 Sex! All of you! All you old bags look as if you could do with a nice bit of hot willy! 915 01:18:22,520 --> 01:18:26,849 - Get her down! - Sex! 916 01:19:01,058 --> 01:19:04,890 It's getting kind of close to the New Year and I'm feeling sentimental. 917 01:19:04,937 --> 01:19:07,938 I'm going to sing a song that means a lot to me and... 918 01:19:08,399 --> 01:19:09,561 somebody else. 919 01:19:09,608 --> 01:19:11,518 And if you don't like it that's just too bad. 920 01:19:11,569 --> 01:19:13,645 After all, I own the joint. 921 01:19:16,365 --> 01:19:20,493 ♪ It had to be you 922 01:19:21,078 --> 01:19:25,824 ♪ It had to be you 923 01:19:25,875 --> 01:19:28,282 ♪ I wandered around 924 01:19:28,335 --> 01:19:34,421 ♪ Finally found the somebody who 925 01:19:34,467 --> 01:19:38,844 ♪ Could make me be true 926 01:19:38,888 --> 01:19:43,466 ♪ Could make me be blue 927 01:19:43,517 --> 01:19:48,512 ♪ And even be glad, just to be sad... ♪ 928 01:19:48,564 --> 01:19:50,640 How long is it now? 929 01:19:52,109 --> 01:19:54,185 Three months, more or less. 930 01:19:55,488 --> 01:19:57,564 It's not too late. 931 01:19:58,657 --> 01:20:00,733 No. 932 01:20:02,953 --> 01:20:05,029 What happened? 933 01:20:06,582 --> 01:20:08,658 When? 934 01:20:08,709 --> 01:20:12,754 Your father came home very sorry for himself. Whatever happened? 935 01:20:13,923 --> 01:20:16,046 Silly bugger. 936 01:20:16,092 --> 01:20:19,128 I stood on a chair in the Paris Tea Rooms and shouted. 937 01:20:19,178 --> 01:20:22,796 I can't remember what I said. It was terrible. 938 01:20:23,682 --> 01:20:26,174 He offered to pay for everyone's teas. 939 01:20:28,771 --> 01:20:31,179 You didn't need to do that... 940 01:20:31,232 --> 01:20:33,308 not to your father. 941 01:20:35,945 --> 01:20:38,187 I'm not coming back, you know. 942 01:20:38,239 --> 01:20:40,315 No matter what. 943 01:20:41,909 --> 01:20:46,867 Where you gonna go then? Who's gonna want you with a baby? 944 01:20:46,914 --> 01:20:48,954 Where you gonna live? 945 01:20:48,999 --> 01:20:53,246 - Not in that dump. - Nobody's asking you to, my dear. 946 01:20:54,171 --> 01:20:57,955 Things like this don't happen in that sort of town. 947 01:20:58,008 --> 01:21:00,215 I can just see your father's face. 948 01:21:02,513 --> 01:21:05,265 Go down well at the Freemasons. 949 01:21:07,393 --> 01:21:11,391 He didn't have to stick with you, you know, when your mum died. 950 01:21:11,439 --> 01:21:13,515 Nor your sister. 951 01:21:13,566 --> 01:21:17,314 - My boring bloody sister. - Now, you leave her alone, she's all right. 952 01:21:19,280 --> 01:21:22,649 Thank God she's not like you. Two of you like that, my God! 953 01:21:24,326 --> 01:21:26,533 He could have put you in a home, you know. 954 01:21:28,122 --> 01:21:32,202 Not many men would have done what he did on his own with two young girls. 955 01:21:35,004 --> 01:21:38,455 - He didn't love me. - Oh, yes, he did. 956 01:21:38,507 --> 01:21:41,294 He didn't show it. 957 01:21:41,343 --> 01:21:45,044 You can't show that kind of thing, not in this day and age. 958 01:21:49,060 --> 01:21:51,811 You're a pretty young thing... 959 01:21:51,854 --> 01:21:54,262 you're funny, but you're pretty. 960 01:21:55,274 --> 01:21:59,817 You could get yourself a nice husband. Somebody who'd really look after you. 961 01:22:02,615 --> 01:22:04,358 Do you think? 962 01:22:04,408 --> 01:22:07,030 Yeah, I do. 963 01:22:07,078 --> 01:22:10,032 But not like that. 964 01:22:10,081 --> 01:22:12,998 Who's going to want you like that? 965 01:22:14,377 --> 01:22:16,453 It's not too late. Not yet. 966 01:22:19,298 --> 01:22:22,501 Would you know where to go if you wanted to get rid of it? 967 01:22:23,803 --> 01:22:27,088 It's all right for you to say that. It's not you that has to do it. 968 01:22:27,139 --> 01:22:30,010 No, that's right, Lyndie, you're right. 969 01:22:36,190 --> 01:22:38,266 What if I had it? 970 01:22:38,317 --> 01:22:40,393 Then have it adopted. 971 01:22:42,321 --> 01:22:44,397 You must've thought about it. 972 01:22:46,325 --> 01:22:48,152 You keep that kid and nobody'll want you. 973 01:22:48,202 --> 01:22:51,867 Nobody'll want to know you, nobody'll want to own you. Nobody. 974 01:22:53,916 --> 01:22:57,961 Forget the whole thing, bury it. Nobody need know a thing about it. 975 01:23:00,256 --> 01:23:05,498 Christ, it's tough enough, you don't have to go round banging your head with a hammer. 976 01:23:05,553 --> 01:23:07,629 Look at me. 977 01:23:07,680 --> 01:23:12,674 Look at your father. Well, I'm hardly ancient, neither's he. 978 01:23:12,727 --> 01:23:16,178 I lost Bill, he lost your mum and we're on our own, stuck! 979 01:23:16,230 --> 01:23:18,306 There's always enough pain. 980 01:23:19,734 --> 01:23:22,485 What about Maisie Mathews? 981 01:23:22,528 --> 01:23:24,568 Well, why shouldn't he? 982 01:23:24,613 --> 01:23:28,113 What's he expected to do the rest of his life? 983 01:23:28,159 --> 01:23:30,235 I wish I had somebody. 984 01:23:32,121 --> 01:23:35,739 I hope he used a plonker. I'd hate to see what'd come out of her. 985 01:23:38,419 --> 01:23:41,124 That's good advice, coming from you. 986 01:23:47,928 --> 01:23:50,598 You're gonna have to make your own mind up. 987 01:23:50,639 --> 01:23:53,177 - I've got to go. - Not yet. 988 01:23:53,225 --> 01:23:58,101 It's the buses. I spent ages waiting for you. 989 01:23:58,147 --> 01:24:01,148 - I'm sorry. - Here. 990 01:24:02,109 --> 01:24:04,600 Now, think about what I said. 991 01:24:04,653 --> 01:24:06,942 You've got to look after yourself, Lyndie. 992 01:24:07,782 --> 01:24:09,442 Here. 993 01:24:11,911 --> 01:24:15,030 Would you know where to go if that's what you decided? 994 01:24:19,668 --> 01:24:23,037 - To get rid of it? - If that's what you decided. 995 01:24:24,924 --> 01:24:26,751 I could find out. 996 01:24:28,636 --> 01:24:31,802 I'm going to go, so just you take care. 997 01:26:43,270 --> 01:26:45,346 There you go. 998 01:27:29,024 --> 01:27:31,101 Hello, you lot. Hello, Brian. 999 01:28:14,278 --> 01:28:16,401 Yes, it's mine. 1000 01:28:16,947 --> 01:28:19,023 All mine. 1001 01:29:31,856 --> 01:29:35,189 ♪ When it comes to dreams 1002 01:29:35,234 --> 01:29:39,861 ♪ Love has always played a leading part 1003 01:29:40,698 --> 01:29:44,861 ♪ I don't play for dimes and nickels 1004 01:29:45,745 --> 01:29:51,284 ♪ I don't play to be the last 1005 01:29:51,333 --> 01:29:54,169 ♪ When it comes to love 1006 01:29:54,211 --> 01:29:58,957 ♪ I shoot first, shoot to kill 1007 01:29:59,008 --> 01:30:03,800 ♪ I aim straight for the heart 1008 01:30:22,865 --> 01:30:25,190 ♪ You won't 1009 01:30:25,242 --> 01:30:27,994 ♪ Forsake me 1010 01:30:28,037 --> 01:30:30,706 ♪ To heaven 1011 01:30:30,748 --> 01:30:32,824 ♪ You take me 1012 01:30:33,876 --> 01:30:36,201 ♪ Don't try 1013 01:30:36,253 --> 01:30:38,163 ♪ To wake me 1014 01:30:38,214 --> 01:30:40,787 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 1015 01:30:40,841 --> 01:30:43,167 ♪ You won't 1016 01:30:43,219 --> 01:30:45,792 ♪ Forsake me 1017 01:30:45,846 --> 01:30:48,551 ♪ To heaven 1018 01:30:48,599 --> 01:30:50,675 ♪ You take me 1019 01:30:51,977 --> 01:30:54,100 ♪ Don't try 1020 01:30:54,146 --> 01:30:55,854 ♪ To wake me 1021 01:30:55,898 --> 01:30:58,436 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 1022 01:30:58,859 --> 01:31:00,935 ♪ I'm just lost in a dream 73373

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