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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,551 Yeah. Mmm-hmm. 2 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:12,389 - Mmm-hmm. Yeah, keep doing that. Okay. Okay. 3 00:01:12,391 --> 00:01:15,859 Oh, Larry! -Oh... Uh, I'm sorry, help me out here. 4 00:01:15,861 --> 00:01:18,061 - Suzanne. - Oh, Susan! 5 00:01:18,063 --> 00:01:20,831 No! Suzanne. -I'm sorry. I meant to say Susan. 6 00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:22,866 No. Suzanne. 7 00:01:22,868 --> 00:01:24,635 Oh, Suzanne! 8 00:01:26,772 --> 00:01:29,106 - Oh. 9 00:01:29,108 --> 00:01:32,109 - Yeah. - You are amazing. 10 00:01:32,111 --> 00:01:33,677 - Well... 11 00:01:33,679 --> 00:01:36,013 I could never have reached those heights of passion without you. 12 00:01:36,015 --> 00:01:39,249 Actually, you did reach those heights of passion without me. 13 00:01:40,451 --> 00:01:42,953 Oh, God, you are so damn hot. 14 00:01:42,955 --> 00:01:45,522 Yeah. Right there, Larry. That's it. 15 00:01:45,524 --> 00:01:47,557 - Don't stop. - Larry! 16 00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:49,593 What? 17 00:01:51,562 --> 00:01:53,597 What? 18 00:01:53,599 --> 00:01:57,868 - So, how about some breakfast? - I couldn't possibly. 19 00:02:01,239 --> 00:02:04,474 - You see, Su... - Zanne! 20 00:02:04,476 --> 00:02:05,809 You see, Zanne, 21 00:02:05,811 --> 00:02:08,412 I know you'd want me to have breakfast, 22 00:02:08,414 --> 00:02:11,315 date for a while, get married, start a family, 23 00:02:11,317 --> 00:02:13,283 plants roots in the community, 24 00:02:13,285 --> 00:02:16,019 join the local church, synagogue or a polygamous cult, 25 00:02:16,021 --> 00:02:18,021 but that's not my speed. 26 00:02:18,023 --> 00:02:22,392 If I stay on the ground too long, the sky starts to beckon. 27 00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:24,594 Don't you ever get tired of that lifestyle, 28 00:02:24,596 --> 00:02:26,397 flying from place to place all the time? 29 00:02:26,398 --> 00:02:29,433 Every once in a while, I wake up in a cold sweat, 30 00:02:29,435 --> 00:02:32,669 my entire being enveloped by a crushing, empty loneliness 31 00:02:32,671 --> 00:02:35,639 that physically presses down on me till I can barely breathe. 32 00:02:36,941 --> 00:02:39,309 But then I ignore it and it usually passes. 33 00:02:39,311 --> 00:02:41,478 That doesn't sound too healthy. 34 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,649 Well, mind-blowing sex and free medical advice. 35 00:02:45,651 --> 00:02:48,719 - Zanne, what don't you give? - I have a surprise for you. 36 00:02:53,691 --> 00:02:56,093 Is that what I think it is? 37 00:02:56,095 --> 00:02:58,195 Here's something to remember me by. 38 00:02:58,796 --> 00:03:00,364 - Oh. 39 00:03:00,366 --> 00:03:03,867 You sure I can't get you anything? A little breakfast to go? 40 00:03:03,869 --> 00:03:06,603 Okay, but just something quick and easy. 41 00:04:57,915 --> 00:05:00,383 So... 42 00:05:00,385 --> 00:05:02,619 Mr. Gaye, 43 00:05:02,621 --> 00:05:05,288 um, you're a flight attendant? 44 00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:06,723 - Bingo. 45 00:05:06,725 --> 00:05:09,626 - And, uh, you want us to publish your book? -Yahtzee. 46 00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:15,450 - Oh, but the book is not written yet? - Twister. 47 00:05:17,268 --> 00:05:21,238 Uh, and it is the story of your life? 48 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:26,276 The Unauthorized Autobiography. 49 00:05:26,278 --> 00:05:28,411 The Unauthorized Autobiography? 50 00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:30,280 Um, 51 00:05:30,282 --> 00:05:34,117 - but an autobiography cannot be unauthorized. -Or can it? 52 00:05:34,119 --> 00:05:38,221 By writing the book, you're implicitly authorizing that it be written. 53 00:05:38,223 --> 00:05:39,856 Define "implicitly." 54 00:05:39,858 --> 00:05:43,293 Mr. Gaye, was there ever a time in the past that maybe I'm unaware of 55 00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:46,763 where I wiped my bottom with 20 minutes of your life? 56 00:05:46,765 --> 00:05:49,966 Define "aware" and "20." 57 00:05:49,968 --> 00:05:51,902 - Who arranged this meeting? - -Uh... 58 00:05:51,904 --> 00:05:53,336 I... I did, sir. 59 00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:55,305 You're fired. 60 00:05:58,476 --> 00:06:01,144 Oh. And happy birthday. 61 00:06:01,146 --> 00:06:04,214 - Hey. -Would someone please show this jackass the door? 62 00:06:04,216 --> 00:06:05,916 I already saw the door on my way in. 63 00:06:05,918 --> 00:06:09,252 Now, sir, my life story yearns to be told. 64 00:06:09,254 --> 00:06:11,188 It's a tale of intrigue, adventure 65 00:06:11,190 --> 00:06:13,156 and life among the clouds. 66 00:06:13,691 --> 00:06:15,559 Mr. Gaye, 67 00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:18,428 if you held a gun to my head and said to me, 68 00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:21,298 "Hey, be less interested in my book" 69 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:25,402 "or I will splatter the walls with the contents of your skull," 70 00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:28,171 I don't think I could. 71 00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:31,775 I guess I'll just have to take my story elsewhere. 72 00:06:36,048 --> 00:06:39,583 There are other fish in the publishing sea, my friend. 73 00:06:41,285 --> 00:06:43,853 Yes, in Manhattan, I'm gonna need two numbers, 74 00:06:43,855 --> 00:06:47,090 the first one is for Simon, and then I need one for Schuster. 75 00:06:49,728 --> 00:06:53,463 Look, if I walk out that door, guys, I'm not coming back! 76 00:06:53,465 --> 00:06:54,631 You got it? 77 00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:57,434 Oh, you think I'm bluffing? 78 00:06:58,102 --> 00:06:59,603 You think I'm bluffing? 79 00:06:59,605 --> 00:07:01,771 Good day, everyone! 80 00:07:12,383 --> 00:07:13,450 Okay. 81 00:07:14,919 --> 00:07:16,586 I'm headed to the elevator. 82 00:07:16,588 --> 00:07:19,623 - Do we have any kind of screening process here? 83 00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:21,891 Okay. I'm in the elevator. 84 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,227 - Get out. - Yep. Yes. 85 00:07:25,196 --> 00:07:27,197 It's closing. The door is closing. 86 00:07:27,199 --> 00:07:30,233 - The door is closing. 87 00:07:31,435 --> 00:07:32,936 Last chance! 88 00:07:32,938 --> 00:07:36,106 If I get in a taxi, you're out of luck! 89 00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:48,535 Is there a quicker way to the airport, my friend? 90 00:07:48,561 --> 00:07:49,786 I'm running late for a flight. 91 00:07:49,788 --> 00:07:51,821 Sorry, man, it's like this all over. 92 00:07:51,823 --> 00:07:56,359 - Rush hour traffic, you know. - I know that accent. 93 00:07:56,361 --> 00:07:58,428 What part of Canada are you from? 94 00:08:00,197 --> 00:08:01,998 I'm from Jamaica. 95 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,969 Yeah, but you obviously lived in Canada for a long time. 96 00:08:05,971 --> 00:08:07,904 No, man, never been there. 97 00:08:07,906 --> 00:08:11,608 But your parents were Canadian and spoke it around the house. 98 00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:12,776 No, man! 99 00:08:15,279 --> 00:08:19,716 Bet you never had to worry aboot traffic like this in Saskatchewan, 100 00:08:19,718 --> 00:08:21,284 eh? 101 00:08:22,486 --> 00:08:23,553 Eh? 102 00:08:57,922 --> 00:08:59,022 Who's that guy? 103 00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:22,245 I can help you with that bag. All right. 104 00:09:24,081 --> 00:09:27,384 Please be careful! I have my grandfather's remains in an urn up there. 105 00:09:27,386 --> 00:09:29,953 - I will, sir. - Excuse me! 106 00:09:29,955 --> 00:09:32,956 This woman claims she's in 9E, but that's my seat. 107 00:09:32,958 --> 00:09:35,959 I'll try to straighten that out. Okay? 108 00:09:35,961 --> 00:09:38,828 I can't remember if I ordered a kosher meal or not. Can you help me? 109 00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:41,710 Okay. If you can just give me one second, I will check that, I promise. 110 00:09:47,571 --> 00:09:50,306 Okay, people, please, please, please, okay? It's my very first flight 111 00:09:50,308 --> 00:09:53,443 and our lead attendant is not here, but I'm doing the best that I can. 112 00:09:53,445 --> 00:09:55,545 So, please, bear with me. 113 00:10:00,418 --> 00:10:01,985 Grandpa! 114 00:10:11,595 --> 00:10:13,096 Excuse me. 115 00:10:13,731 --> 00:10:15,198 Is there a problem here? 116 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,133 Allow me. 117 00:10:33,317 --> 00:10:34,884 Anything else? 118 00:10:34,886 --> 00:10:36,019 She's in my seat. 119 00:10:38,656 --> 00:10:39,823 Oh. 120 00:10:39,825 --> 00:10:42,459 Actually, ma'am, you're not in 9E. 121 00:10:42,461 --> 00:10:45,161 You're in 3b. 122 00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:47,263 Common mistake. 123 00:10:48,966 --> 00:10:51,835 I've been trying to find out if I ordered a kosher meal. 124 00:10:51,837 --> 00:10:54,170 Rabbi, I got the passenger manifest in advance, 125 00:10:54,172 --> 00:10:58,508 so I personally prepared you a nice piece of chicken with a side of borscht. 126 00:10:58,510 --> 00:10:59,876 Thank you, my son. 127 00:11:02,681 --> 00:11:05,048 What about my grandpa? Look. 128 00:11:16,227 --> 00:11:17,760 - Gramps comin' at ya! 129 00:11:20,298 --> 00:11:21,731 Thanks. You really saved me there. 130 00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:24,334 You saying "Thanks" is thanks enough. 131 00:11:24,702 --> 00:11:26,302 Um, okay. 132 00:11:27,238 --> 00:11:29,305 - I guess we're ready. - Not yet. 133 00:11:29,307 --> 00:11:31,174 My finely honed senses tells me there's someone 134 00:11:31,176 --> 00:11:33,510 on board this flight who's a threat to us all. 135 00:11:51,829 --> 00:11:53,429 You, sir. 136 00:11:54,832 --> 00:11:56,432 Frat guy, huh? 137 00:11:56,434 --> 00:11:59,536 - Oh, Phi Beta Kappa, it's an academic fraternity. -Oh? 138 00:11:59,538 --> 00:12:02,205 You like to drink, get out of control, 139 00:12:02,207 --> 00:12:04,807 you boot and rally, you cause a scene. 140 00:12:04,809 --> 00:12:07,210 No, I don't drink. I'm a Rhodes Scholar. 141 00:12:07,212 --> 00:12:09,512 I'm actually flying to UCLA to collect an award. 142 00:12:09,514 --> 00:12:11,614 I won't have those kind of shenanigans on my flight! 143 00:12:11,616 --> 00:12:13,116 Take a hike, party boy! 144 00:12:13,118 --> 00:12:15,385 - No, but I'm... - Save it, Animal House! 145 00:12:15,786 --> 00:12:17,053 Off my plane! 146 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,323 Off my plane! 147 00:12:31,769 --> 00:12:34,037 Okay, rookie, let's fly this bitch. 148 00:12:51,622 --> 00:12:53,489 Miss McCoy, it's all yours. 149 00:12:54,658 --> 00:12:55,959 Thank you. 150 00:12:55,961 --> 00:12:59,996 Gentlemen and ladies, what do we spend the most money on? 151 00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:04,801 - Passenger safety. 152 00:13:07,639 --> 00:13:10,607 Stop it, Geddes, stop it! This is serious. 153 00:13:10,609 --> 00:13:13,676 Outside of equipment, fuel and brass tacks, 154 00:13:13,678 --> 00:13:16,980 our greatest operating expense is service. 155 00:13:17,948 --> 00:13:20,016 Flight attendants. 156 00:13:20,018 --> 00:13:22,185 - Yes. - Their union is strong, 157 00:13:22,187 --> 00:13:25,555 their salaries keep rising. Not to mention their benefits. 158 00:13:25,557 --> 00:13:26,723 But what if I told you there was a way 159 00:13:26,725 --> 00:13:30,159 to completely eliminate human flight attendants? 160 00:13:30,161 --> 00:13:32,922 Even if we could, where would you hide the bodies? 161 00:13:33,631 --> 00:13:35,798 Oh, just asking. 162 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,935 Gentlemen, there is someone I would like for you to meet. 163 00:13:44,942 --> 00:13:46,476 Good morning, Miss McCoy. 164 00:13:47,611 --> 00:13:49,312 Good morning, Sally. 165 00:13:49,314 --> 00:13:51,614 Sally, may I have a cup of coffee, please? 166 00:13:51,616 --> 00:13:52,682 My pleasure. 167 00:13:57,888 --> 00:13:59,689 Thank you, Sally. 168 00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:04,227 Oh, this coffee is way too hot! 169 00:14:04,229 --> 00:14:06,529 Oh. 170 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:13,403 I'm sorry, Miss McCoy. I'll find some more coffee that's not so hot. 171 00:14:13,405 --> 00:14:15,805 - What the... - She's not real! 172 00:14:15,807 --> 00:14:18,207 - Right, Sally? - That's right, Miss McCoy. 173 00:14:18,209 --> 00:14:20,209 My body is state-of-the-art neoprene 174 00:14:20,211 --> 00:14:22,612 stretched over a complex electronic framework, 175 00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:24,213 my brain is a powerful microprocessor 176 00:14:24,215 --> 00:14:26,215 capable of five billion decisions per second 177 00:14:26,217 --> 00:14:28,518 and my boobs are a perky 34C. 178 00:14:28,919 --> 00:14:30,219 This is amazing. 179 00:14:30,221 --> 00:14:32,855 Go ahead, touch her. You'd never know the difference. 180 00:14:32,857 --> 00:14:34,524 - What? - Touch her. 181 00:14:37,227 --> 00:14:40,063 You mean, just... Wow! 182 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,178 I'm Nathan, by the way. 183 00:14:55,180 --> 00:14:56,612 The pleasure's yours, Nathan. 184 00:14:58,515 --> 00:15:00,249 That was incredible, all the stuff you did back there. 185 00:15:00,251 --> 00:15:02,685 I'm not sure "incredible" is the right word. 186 00:15:02,687 --> 00:15:04,187 I believe it's "uncredible." 187 00:15:05,456 --> 00:15:07,290 I'm pretty sure it's "incredible." 188 00:15:07,292 --> 00:15:09,325 Let's agree not to disagree. 189 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,261 I don't think that's the expression. 190 00:15:12,263 --> 00:15:14,997 Are you disagreeing with me? We just agreed not to. 191 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,569 You were saying? 192 00:15:19,571 --> 00:15:21,771 They sure didn't teach us any of that stuff at the training academy. 193 00:15:21,773 --> 00:15:23,573 Yeah, that's why I never listen to what they teach. 194 00:15:23,575 --> 00:15:26,175 I make my own rules, then I break 'em. 195 00:15:26,177 --> 00:15:29,112 But if they're your own rules, why do you have to break 'em? 196 00:15:29,114 --> 00:15:30,780 - Well, I... - Wouldn't it be easier 197 00:15:30,782 --> 00:15:32,615 to make up different rules that you didn't have to break? 198 00:15:32,617 --> 00:15:35,118 - Not necessarily. -Or to not make up any rules at all. 199 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,487 The point is, I'm a renegade. 200 00:15:37,489 --> 00:15:40,223 Wait a minute. You're Larry Gaye! 201 00:15:40,225 --> 00:15:41,891 My first day and I get to fly 202 00:15:41,893 --> 00:15:43,693 - with Larry Gaye? - So cool. 203 00:15:43,695 --> 00:15:46,562 My God, the stories, the women. 204 00:15:47,264 --> 00:15:49,665 - Six Golden Coffee Pots! 205 00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:51,768 You're a legend. 206 00:15:51,770 --> 00:15:53,569 Relax. Look. 207 00:15:53,571 --> 00:15:56,739 I know this may come as a shock, but I'm just a human being. 208 00:15:56,741 --> 00:15:59,542 I mean, if you cut me, I bleed. 209 00:15:59,544 --> 00:16:01,844 If you pinch me, I cry. 210 00:16:03,413 --> 00:16:07,283 If you pull my hair, I scream like a little girl. 211 00:16:07,285 --> 00:16:09,619 If you back an SUV over my bare feet, 212 00:16:09,621 --> 00:16:12,388 I'd likely go into shock. The pain is so intense. 213 00:16:12,390 --> 00:16:15,625 If you eliminate vitamins B and D from my diet, 214 00:16:15,627 --> 00:16:18,728 my skin turns a shade of taupe you've never seen. 215 00:16:24,568 --> 00:16:26,536 I can't breathe. 216 00:16:26,804 --> 00:16:28,805 Hello. 217 00:16:28,807 --> 00:16:30,807 Carry on, please. 218 00:16:31,675 --> 00:16:34,343 You're looking at the new Flightpal 200 219 00:16:34,345 --> 00:16:36,579 made by Techtronics Industries. 220 00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:40,449 Now, for a fraction of the cost of a flight attendant, 221 00:16:40,451 --> 00:16:42,718 we can have every one of our planes 222 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,488 fully manned by Flightpals 223 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:47,990 within one year. 224 00:16:47,992 --> 00:16:49,959 Excuse me, Miss McCoy. 225 00:16:49,961 --> 00:16:52,862 The reputation of this airline is built on service. 226 00:16:52,864 --> 00:16:56,132 How do you know that the Flightpal 200 227 00:16:56,134 --> 00:16:58,267 is better than our flight attendants? 228 00:16:58,269 --> 00:16:59,802 That's a great question. 229 00:16:59,804 --> 00:17:01,270 Ladies and gentlemen, 230 00:17:01,272 --> 00:17:04,574 the President and Founder of Techtronics Industries, 231 00:17:04,975 --> 00:17:06,809 Bob Techtronics. 232 00:17:06,811 --> 00:17:10,479 Folks, I wouldn't expect you to just sign on the dotted line. 233 00:17:10,481 --> 00:17:12,849 I only ask for the opportunity to prove to you 234 00:17:12,851 --> 00:17:16,519 that the Flightpal can outperform an error-prone human. 235 00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:18,921 And how do you plan on doing that? 236 00:17:18,923 --> 00:17:21,891 By letting Sally here go up against your best 237 00:17:21,893 --> 00:17:24,727 in a challenge of flight attendant skills. 238 00:17:24,729 --> 00:17:26,929 - That sounds fair, doesn't it? - Absolutely. Let's set it up. 239 00:17:26,931 --> 00:17:30,800 If it works, it could be a financial lifesaver for the entire company. 240 00:17:30,802 --> 00:17:33,102 Thank you so much, Mr. T. 241 00:17:33,104 --> 00:17:34,437 Sally, we'll talk. 242 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,873 If you remove 243 00:17:36,875 --> 00:17:39,375 the vestibular system from my inner ear, I have difficulty balancing. 244 00:17:39,377 --> 00:17:43,479 If you take a croquet mallet, coat it with shards of glass 245 00:17:43,481 --> 00:17:46,215 - and swing it directly at my testes... - Okay, you're human! 246 00:17:46,217 --> 00:17:48,517 - You made your point. - I think I've made my point. 247 00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:56,926 Well, look who it is. 248 00:17:57,561 --> 00:18:00,196 Bryce. Felder. 249 00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:02,832 That's "Captain" to you. 250 00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:06,235 Sorry, Crapton Bryce. 251 00:18:06,237 --> 00:18:08,004 How you feeling today, Gaye? 252 00:18:09,072 --> 00:18:11,941 Are you getting sleepier? 253 00:18:12,643 --> 00:18:15,011 Oh, snap! 254 00:18:26,424 --> 00:18:30,793 It's ancient history, Nathan, like the Romanian Empire. 255 00:18:31,929 --> 00:18:33,490 - But... - I said, 256 00:18:33,931 --> 00:18:35,131 ancient history. 257 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,768 - Okay. Got it. 258 00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:41,170 Uh... 259 00:18:41,172 --> 00:18:44,140 Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Bryce here. 260 00:18:44,142 --> 00:18:46,409 Just wanted to speak as your pilot 261 00:18:46,411 --> 00:18:48,110 and not a lowly flight attendant, 262 00:18:48,112 --> 00:18:50,880 and say it's great to be piloting this plane 263 00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:53,416 because I'm a pilot 264 00:18:53,418 --> 00:18:55,651 who passed through the pilot training academy 265 00:18:55,653 --> 00:18:58,387 and became a pilot. 266 00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:38,394 These big union meetings tend to drag 267 00:19:38,396 --> 00:19:40,596 like a turtle's nut sack, am I right? 268 00:19:40,598 --> 00:19:43,399 Excuse me? Show some respect. 269 00:19:44,301 --> 00:19:45,968 What's that? 270 00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:49,839 Actually, I find them interesting and informative. 271 00:19:49,841 --> 00:19:52,074 Uh, surely you can't be serious. 272 00:19:52,076 --> 00:19:53,776 I am serious. 273 00:19:53,778 --> 00:19:56,112 - Then should I stop calling you Shirley? 274 00:20:06,557 --> 00:20:08,290 Ladies and gentlemen, 275 00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,226 and members of the Fraternal Association 276 00:20:10,228 --> 00:20:13,162 of Federated Airlines Flight Attendants, welcome. 277 00:20:13,164 --> 00:20:16,198 Management has asked us to select 278 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,801 our top flight attendant 279 00:20:18,803 --> 00:20:21,871 to go up against the Flightpal 280 00:20:21,873 --> 00:20:23,906 in a performance test. 281 00:20:23,908 --> 00:20:28,511 And the Research Committee has given me one name. 282 00:20:28,513 --> 00:20:30,813 Which one of you is Gaye? 283 00:20:37,687 --> 00:20:39,121 Larry Gaye. 284 00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:43,292 - That'd be me. - Ah! 285 00:20:43,294 --> 00:20:46,195 Mr. Gaye, just how good are you? 286 00:20:46,197 --> 00:20:48,564 On a scale from one to 10, 287 00:20:48,566 --> 00:20:50,699 it can't be quantified. 288 00:20:50,701 --> 00:20:52,902 Perhaps you would try to quantify. 289 00:20:52,904 --> 00:20:55,104 Well... 290 00:20:55,106 --> 00:20:57,273 I have won an unprecedented six, 291 00:20:57,275 --> 00:21:00,176 count them, six, consecutive Golden Coffee Pots. 292 00:21:00,178 --> 00:21:01,410 Roll the clip! 293 00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:05,247 - -Uh, guys, I... 294 00:21:05,249 --> 00:21:07,950 I don't know what to say, except maybe, 295 00:21:07,952 --> 00:21:10,553 suck it, other flight attendants! 296 00:21:10,555 --> 00:21:11,987 Suck it dry! 297 00:21:11,989 --> 00:21:14,390 Hey, hey, hey! You cut it off before my dance. Not cool. 298 00:21:14,392 --> 00:21:16,759 Mr. Gaye, I want to ask you, 299 00:21:16,761 --> 00:21:21,230 will you help spare the jobs of everyone in this room 300 00:21:21,232 --> 00:21:23,866 and thousands of others nationwide? 301 00:21:29,272 --> 00:21:31,340 Seems like a hassle. Pass! 302 00:21:31,342 --> 00:21:32,675 I'm gonna pass! 303 00:21:34,478 --> 00:21:36,345 No. Mr. Gaye! - Larry. 304 00:21:36,347 --> 00:21:38,314 What? What? What? 305 00:21:38,316 --> 00:21:41,550 We need you. Our livelihood depends on it. 306 00:21:48,325 --> 00:21:49,525 Fine, I'll do it. 307 00:21:49,527 --> 00:21:51,093 - I'll do it! 308 00:21:51,095 --> 00:21:53,529 Ladies and gentlemen of the FAFAFA, worry not! 309 00:21:53,531 --> 00:21:56,665 I will take on this scourge and I will win. 310 00:21:56,667 --> 00:21:59,368 Nothing on God's green Earth will stop me! 311 00:21:59,370 --> 00:22:01,537 - -Thank you, Mr. Gaye. Thank you. 312 00:22:01,539 --> 00:22:03,606 As long as it's not on a Tuesday morning. I have a Zumba class. 313 00:22:03,608 --> 00:22:05,107 Okay. 314 00:22:05,109 --> 00:22:07,910 Or Saturdays at 3:00. I have a standing body wax. Gotta do that. 315 00:22:07,912 --> 00:22:10,813 Wednesdays aren't great. Hump day. 316 00:22:10,815 --> 00:22:12,648 And I take that quite literally. 317 00:22:12,650 --> 00:22:14,150 - You know what I'm talking about. - Thank you, Mr. Gaye. 318 00:22:14,152 --> 00:22:15,451 Larry Gaye, ladies and gentlemen. 319 00:22:15,453 --> 00:22:17,686 - Larry Gaye, thank you. - You got it. 320 00:22:19,023 --> 00:22:22,591 Larry! 321 00:22:29,533 --> 00:22:32,735 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Federated Airlines Flight 75 322 00:22:32,737 --> 00:22:34,837 with non-stop service to Los Angeles. 323 00:22:34,839 --> 00:22:36,939 We'll be taxiing in just a few moments. 324 00:22:36,941 --> 00:22:38,607 But first, allow me to demonstrate 325 00:22:38,609 --> 00:22:41,710 the safety features of our Boeing 737. 326 00:22:41,712 --> 00:22:43,712 Nathan. Thank you. 327 00:22:43,714 --> 00:22:45,514 You fasten the seatbelt 328 00:22:45,516 --> 00:22:47,516 by inserting the metal end 329 00:22:49,853 --> 00:22:55,024 into the expectant buckle. 330 00:22:55,026 --> 00:22:57,960 A little at first, you know, just enough to 331 00:22:58,995 --> 00:23:00,496 tease the buckle. 332 00:23:01,932 --> 00:23:03,299 You want some of that? 333 00:23:04,601 --> 00:23:06,001 Hmm, yeah. 334 00:23:08,071 --> 00:23:09,772 Ohh! 335 00:23:09,774 --> 00:23:13,209 Take that buckle. Take it! Yeah. 336 00:23:13,211 --> 00:23:15,077 - Mmm, yeah. - 337 00:23:15,079 --> 00:23:16,579 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 338 00:23:16,581 --> 00:23:18,147 Yeah, yeah. 339 00:23:18,149 --> 00:23:20,683 And finally, when that buckle just can't take any more, 340 00:23:20,685 --> 00:23:23,152 you pull on this thing to release it. 341 00:23:25,790 --> 00:23:28,891 We don't anticipate it, but should there be a change in cabin pressure, 342 00:23:28,893 --> 00:23:31,393 your oxygen mask will drop down. 343 00:23:31,395 --> 00:23:34,830 You place the mask over your mouth, like so. 344 00:23:43,273 --> 00:23:45,107 Mmm, yeah. 345 00:23:46,543 --> 00:23:48,410 Okay. 346 00:23:48,412 --> 00:23:51,080 For those of you seated in an emergency exit row, 347 00:23:51,082 --> 00:23:54,550 like, uh, I don't know, say you. 348 00:23:55,752 --> 00:23:58,754 If called upon to open the emergency door, well, 349 00:24:00,090 --> 00:24:02,130 you're gonna pull on that big lever. 350 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:06,328 Yeah, yeah, you're gonna pull on it real nice 351 00:24:07,131 --> 00:24:10,599 Ooh, I bet you know how to pull that thing just right. 352 00:24:10,601 --> 00:24:11,734 Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. 353 00:24:11,736 --> 00:24:13,035 You know what I'm talking about, 354 00:24:13,037 --> 00:24:14,637 -you naughty little tart. 355 00:24:14,639 --> 00:24:16,338 Flight attendants, please be seated for take-off. 356 00:24:16,340 --> 00:24:19,341 Okay. Power down all electronic devices. 357 00:24:19,343 --> 00:24:21,143 We'll be up in the air shortly. 358 00:24:21,145 --> 00:24:22,678 Thank you, everybody. 359 00:24:25,915 --> 00:24:29,218 We have got a live one in 10b. 360 00:24:29,220 --> 00:24:31,461 I think those instructions could have been clearer. 361 00:24:39,764 --> 00:24:42,665 Uh, folks, we're about to start our in-flight movie, 362 00:24:42,667 --> 00:24:45,501 License to Chill. 363 00:24:45,503 --> 00:24:47,436 Audio can be found on Channel 10. 364 00:24:51,042 --> 00:24:53,942 - Hey, Nate, can you grab the disk out of my bag? -Yeah. 365 00:24:53,944 --> 00:24:56,578 Gaye, I asked for a Fresca five minutes ago. 366 00:24:56,580 --> 00:24:58,814 What happened? Did you trip over your skirt? 367 00:24:58,816 --> 00:25:01,817 So sorry, I was, uh... I was about to bring it in. 368 00:25:03,486 --> 00:25:07,323 Well, maybe if you spent less time flirting with your little gal pal over there, 369 00:25:07,325 --> 00:25:10,326 you'd be able to focus on your job. 370 00:25:10,328 --> 00:25:13,562 I already do focus on my job as six, count them, six, 371 00:25:13,564 --> 00:25:16,598 Golden Coffee Pots can attest. 372 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,434 Oh, that's right. I forgot. 373 00:25:19,936 --> 00:25:23,272 How does it feel working with the biggest wussy in the business? 374 00:25:23,274 --> 00:25:25,274 - Well... - Don't talk! 375 00:25:25,276 --> 00:25:26,842 I gotta go fly this bird. 376 00:25:34,719 --> 00:25:36,829 Are you gonna tell me what's that all about? 377 00:25:36,855 --> 00:25:37,720 Sorry, Nathan. 378 00:25:37,722 --> 00:25:39,588 I'm an intensely private person. 379 00:25:39,590 --> 00:25:41,824 You made a deal to publish your autobiography so you could, 380 00:25:41,826 --> 00:25:44,927 and I quote, "Share your story with the world." 381 00:25:44,929 --> 00:25:46,328 It's unauthorized. 382 00:25:55,705 --> 00:25:57,606 Fine. I guess you'll read it anyway. 383 00:25:58,942 --> 00:26:01,076 It all started when I was a little boy... 384 00:26:01,078 --> 00:26:02,778 - Uh, Larry... - Please don't interrupt. 385 00:26:02,780 --> 00:26:04,446 You asked for the story. Now let me tell it. 386 00:26:04,448 --> 00:26:06,582 - No, but it's... -Hey! Here's how it works up here. 387 00:26:06,584 --> 00:26:08,217 When a veteran is telling a rookie a story, 388 00:26:08,219 --> 00:26:11,053 the rookie, you, listens, 389 00:26:11,055 --> 00:26:13,021 sans interruption. Sans! 390 00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:17,659 As I was saying, 391 00:26:17,661 --> 00:26:20,462 I loved my father more than anything. 392 00:26:20,464 --> 00:26:23,165 So when he left me, I was devastated. 393 00:26:23,167 --> 00:26:26,502 - -Even if it was only for a few minutes. 394 00:26:29,673 --> 00:26:35,144 Well, you can imagine how upset I was when he left for good. 395 00:26:36,613 --> 00:26:38,013 Where are you going, Dad? 396 00:26:38,015 --> 00:26:42,384 Hey-hey, there he is. 397 00:26:42,386 --> 00:26:44,319 There he always is. 398 00:26:44,321 --> 00:26:46,455 I'm... I'm... 399 00:26:46,457 --> 00:26:50,225 I'm just going out to have these suitcases polished. 400 00:26:50,227 --> 00:26:51,987 But it's the middle of the night. 401 00:26:52,962 --> 00:26:54,463 Yes, it is. Yes, it is. 402 00:26:54,465 --> 00:26:56,465 And there is a, uh, 403 00:26:56,467 --> 00:27:00,235 24-hour suitcase polisher over on State Street. 404 00:27:00,237 --> 00:27:02,104 Oh, okay. 405 00:27:03,907 --> 00:27:05,274 Good night. 406 00:27:05,276 --> 00:27:07,810 Good night, Son. Have a good life. 407 00:27:07,812 --> 00:27:10,412 Until tomorrow morning, 408 00:27:10,414 --> 00:27:13,649 when I will see you again 409 00:27:13,651 --> 00:27:18,420 because I'm definitely not running out on you 410 00:27:18,422 --> 00:27:20,789 or your mother, 411 00:27:20,791 --> 00:27:24,760 or the life of debt and dysfunction we've built together. 412 00:27:26,596 --> 00:27:29,665 But I wasn't stupid. It didn't take long to figure out 413 00:27:29,667 --> 00:27:32,301 that somewhere on his way to the 24-hour suitcase polisher, 414 00:27:32,303 --> 00:27:34,169 -he decided to leave for good. 415 00:27:40,844 --> 00:27:42,945 My mom tried everything she could 416 00:27:42,947 --> 00:27:45,614 to take my mind off the hurt of Dad leaving, 417 00:27:48,384 --> 00:27:50,085 but nothing could distract me. 418 00:27:50,754 --> 00:27:54,289 In an all-new episode of Boys Whose Fathers Love Them 419 00:27:54,291 --> 00:27:55,791 and Have Not Run Off Unexpectedly... 420 00:27:55,793 --> 00:27:57,626 No! 421 00:27:57,628 --> 00:28:00,262 I knew of no way to make the pain go away. 422 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,568 Until that moment, 423 00:28:06,570 --> 00:28:10,072 when I realized that if I could be way up in the clouds, then maybe 424 00:28:10,074 --> 00:28:14,276 it would take me away from the hurt I felt down on the ground. 425 00:28:14,278 --> 00:28:17,613 And that's when I decided that what I wanted more than anything 426 00:28:18,014 --> 00:28:19,481 was to fly. 427 00:28:20,817 --> 00:28:23,619 - Larry, behind you. -Yes, that chapter was behind me. 428 00:28:23,621 --> 00:28:25,053 Well observed. 429 00:28:25,055 --> 00:28:27,956 Then, in 1995, I went to flight school. 430 00:28:30,894 --> 00:28:33,695 Building 5. Orientation's on the right. 431 00:28:35,965 --> 00:28:38,100 - Hi. - Hi there. 432 00:28:38,535 --> 00:28:39,601 I'm Gaye. 433 00:28:40,503 --> 00:28:41,570 Really? 434 00:28:42,872 --> 00:28:43,939 Uh... 435 00:28:46,175 --> 00:28:48,343 I have a private bunk 436 00:28:48,345 --> 00:28:51,280 with the only bathtub in this whole facility. 437 00:28:51,282 --> 00:28:53,382 Cadet Larry Gaye. 438 00:28:53,384 --> 00:28:56,885 - Right. Uh, building 5. Orientation's on the right. -Thank you. 439 00:29:00,857 --> 00:29:02,591 That's what I'm talking about. 440 00:29:03,726 --> 00:29:06,028 Here, here 441 00:29:06,030 --> 00:29:08,263 and especially here. 442 00:29:09,532 --> 00:29:13,001 Ladies and gentlemen, you need to know these principles cold. 443 00:29:13,003 --> 00:29:16,171 I had big dreams, and even bigger confidence. 444 00:29:16,173 --> 00:29:19,875 I was gonna be the best damn pilot in the world. 445 00:29:19,877 --> 00:29:23,512 All right. Define lift. Gaye. 446 00:29:25,381 --> 00:29:28,517 A positive force caused by the difference in air pressure 447 00:29:28,519 --> 00:29:30,586 - under and above a wing, sir. - Drag? 448 00:29:30,588 --> 00:29:33,722 The resistance of the air to anything moving through it, sir! 449 00:29:33,724 --> 00:29:34,957 And thrust? 450 00:29:37,493 --> 00:29:39,027 Damn, he's good. 451 00:29:40,496 --> 00:29:42,164 E, P, H, 452 00:29:42,166 --> 00:29:44,566 - T, O, Z. - Good. 453 00:29:44,568 --> 00:29:46,134 The bottom line, please? 454 00:29:49,072 --> 00:29:50,138 That's... 455 00:29:51,207 --> 00:29:54,009 J, M, V... 456 00:29:54,011 --> 00:29:56,612 No, no, no. That's not correct. 457 00:29:56,614 --> 00:29:59,748 Uh, actually, Doc, I'm working off that chart. 458 00:29:59,750 --> 00:30:02,718 - Are you kidding me? - H, R, 459 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,586 S, C, C, F. 460 00:30:04,588 --> 00:30:07,889 Copyright 1983, printed in the Philippines. 461 00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:09,391 Bastard. 462 00:30:10,460 --> 00:30:12,628 Reduce airspeed 50 knots. 463 00:30:16,866 --> 00:30:18,700 Lower angle of left wing. 464 00:30:19,769 --> 00:30:22,137 Come on. Challenge me, bud. 465 00:30:22,139 --> 00:30:25,073 I wasn't cocky. I just knew what I was doing... 466 00:30:25,075 --> 00:30:26,575 Deploy landing gear. 467 00:30:28,111 --> 00:30:31,680 And bragged about it, in an obnoxious way. 468 00:30:31,682 --> 00:30:33,642 What's the matter? You need to use your hands? 469 00:30:38,488 --> 00:30:42,324 That's right. I was on my way and nothing was gonna stop me. 470 00:30:46,062 --> 00:30:48,030 So what happened? 471 00:30:48,032 --> 00:30:50,265 All that was left was the actual flying. 472 00:30:52,903 --> 00:30:54,603 You're coming in too hot, Gaye. 473 00:30:55,471 --> 00:30:57,506 You're... You're way off course! 474 00:30:58,174 --> 00:30:59,975 Gaye, can you hear me? 475 00:31:01,377 --> 00:31:02,678 Gaye! Wake up! 476 00:31:10,287 --> 00:31:11,987 Wake up, wake up. 477 00:31:13,690 --> 00:31:15,730 Yeah, there's something wrong with this kid. 478 00:31:20,196 --> 00:31:23,732 Gaye, I've got some bad news. 479 00:31:23,734 --> 00:31:27,569 And it's my job to give it to you in the most professional way possible. 480 00:31:29,439 --> 00:31:31,573 Guess what it is. 481 00:31:31,575 --> 00:31:35,444 - Heart disease? - No. 482 00:31:35,446 --> 00:31:37,679 - Measles? - You're getting cooler. 483 00:31:38,347 --> 00:31:41,349 Oh, uh, okay, okay, okay, um... 484 00:31:43,219 --> 00:31:44,753 - Nervous disorder. - Mmm, mmm, mmm. 485 00:31:44,755 --> 00:31:46,121 - That's warmer. - Okay. 486 00:31:46,123 --> 00:31:48,190 - Mumps? - No, colder. 487 00:31:48,192 --> 00:31:49,624 - Anemia. - Oh, you're ice-cold. 488 00:31:49,626 --> 00:31:51,693 Come on! Doc, just tell me. 489 00:31:51,695 --> 00:31:54,062 - You have narcolepsy. - Oh. 490 00:31:54,064 --> 00:31:56,965 It's a neurological disorder caused by the brain's inability 491 00:31:56,967 --> 00:31:59,935 to regulate sleep-wake cycles. 492 00:31:59,937 --> 00:32:02,698 In other words, you fall asleep uncontrollably. 493 00:32:03,439 --> 00:32:05,207 - That's ridic... - Hmm? 494 00:32:06,075 --> 00:32:07,743 Sorry, I thought I had to sneeze. 495 00:32:07,745 --> 00:32:09,578 Oh, I thought you were having a stroke. 496 00:32:09,580 --> 00:32:10,812 That's ridiculous. 497 00:32:29,165 --> 00:32:30,665 - Yes! 498 00:32:42,111 --> 00:32:46,281 So, my dreams of being a pilot were smashed into a thousand pieces. 499 00:32:46,283 --> 00:32:48,250 The only way I was gonna fly was in this apron, 500 00:32:48,252 --> 00:32:51,119 and Bryce and Felder never let me forget it. 501 00:32:52,288 --> 00:32:54,189 But it's all in the past. 502 00:32:54,191 --> 00:32:56,925 Never even think about it. I'm as happy as I seem. 503 00:33:01,330 --> 00:33:02,931 I'm glad you're over it. 504 00:33:06,669 --> 00:33:08,503 Someone's playing our song. 505 00:33:13,709 --> 00:33:14,776 Ah. 506 00:33:16,212 --> 00:33:17,979 Is there something I can help you with? 507 00:33:17,981 --> 00:33:20,982 I wanted to tell you how much I'm enjoying the movie. 508 00:33:20,984 --> 00:33:24,920 It's not Ice Age 2 or even 3, but it's a jaunty romp, 509 00:33:24,922 --> 00:33:26,122 it's pleasantly paced. 510 00:33:29,225 --> 00:33:30,592 Turbulence. 511 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:32,494 Excuse me for a second. 512 00:33:37,834 --> 00:33:41,069 Oh! Uh, folks, folks, folks. 513 00:33:41,071 --> 00:33:44,706 - We gave you the wrong - License to Chill. 514 00:33:44,708 --> 00:33:47,809 That was the director's cut, with some scenes that had been omitted, 515 00:33:47,811 --> 00:33:51,146 and I think wisely so. 516 00:33:51,148 --> 00:33:54,549 Here's some more family friendly entertainment. 517 00:34:04,861 --> 00:34:06,094 How are you? 518 00:34:08,931 --> 00:34:10,632 You were saying. 519 00:34:10,634 --> 00:34:13,435 Perhaps someday you and I could make a movie like that. 520 00:34:13,437 --> 00:34:15,403 License to Chill? 521 00:34:15,405 --> 00:34:20,575 No, I mean, I'd like you to make love to me in every way imaginable. 522 00:34:29,452 --> 00:34:31,386 Ooh. 523 00:34:31,388 --> 00:34:34,155 Shall we ignore the fact that it smells like Death's underpants in here? 524 00:34:34,157 --> 00:34:35,223 Let's. 525 00:34:35,225 --> 00:34:37,225 Okay, can I get you a drink? 526 00:34:37,227 --> 00:34:39,527 - Vodka, rocks. - Yes, it does. 527 00:34:40,763 --> 00:34:42,163 Oh, right. 528 00:34:53,310 --> 00:34:55,210 - Thank you. 529 00:34:55,212 --> 00:34:56,444 That'll be $6. 530 00:34:59,015 --> 00:35:00,415 - Oh. - Hmm. 531 00:35:01,517 --> 00:35:02,617 Oh. 532 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:08,156 Ah, yes. Um, do you happen to have exact change? 533 00:35:08,158 --> 00:35:09,324 No, I don't. 534 00:35:09,326 --> 00:35:11,127 What are we gonna do about that? 535 00:35:19,335 --> 00:35:20,435 Here. 536 00:35:22,405 --> 00:35:23,672 Where were we? 537 00:35:23,674 --> 00:35:25,674 I wanna know everything about you. 538 00:35:25,676 --> 00:35:27,509 I want to feel what it's like to touch you. 539 00:35:27,511 --> 00:35:29,644 I want your body to possess my body. 540 00:35:29,646 --> 00:35:31,112 In a sexual way? 541 00:35:37,253 --> 00:35:39,454 Hi, there. 542 00:35:39,456 --> 00:35:43,892 So, uh, we're all out of beef stew, would you like some lasagna? 543 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,262 Oh, but I love beef stew. 544 00:35:48,364 --> 00:35:50,332 Oh, this sucks. 545 00:35:51,534 --> 00:35:52,634 I apologize, sir. 546 00:35:52,636 --> 00:35:54,302 - No! - Okay, all right. 547 00:35:55,204 --> 00:35:58,106 Oh, uh, glad I could help, ma'am. 548 00:35:58,108 --> 00:35:59,774 If anyone else needs help with the faucets, 549 00:35:59,776 --> 00:36:02,644 please don't hesitate to call, they can be a tad tricky. 550 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,915 If you could just give me one moment. 551 00:36:07,917 --> 00:36:09,117 Hmm. 552 00:36:10,287 --> 00:36:13,989 Presiding over an emergency meeting of the Mile High Club. 553 00:36:13,991 --> 00:36:15,566 Well, I'm glad you had fun. We ran out of 554 00:36:15,592 --> 00:36:17,292 beef stew, these people are ready to kill me. 555 00:36:17,294 --> 00:36:18,827 Did you tell them we ran out? 556 00:36:18,829 --> 00:36:24,466 Okay, rookie, lesson one. It's not beef stew they want, they just want a choice. 557 00:36:24,468 --> 00:36:28,169 - But there is no... -Watch and learn from a professional. 558 00:36:29,271 --> 00:36:32,240 Oh, left the luggage hatch open. 559 00:36:32,242 --> 00:36:38,580 Folks, for dinner we have lasagna or a stew of beef and brown lice. 560 00:36:38,582 --> 00:36:39,914 Well, I'll have the lasagna. 561 00:36:39,916 --> 00:36:42,684 Excellent choice, my dear. 562 00:36:42,686 --> 00:36:45,420 Sir, would you like lasagna or beef with cancer sauce? 563 00:36:45,422 --> 00:36:48,323 - I better go for lasagna. - I think you better, yeah. 564 00:36:49,291 --> 00:36:52,093 Sir, lasagna or sliced elderly human feet? 565 00:36:52,095 --> 00:36:53,962 - Lasagna. - Lasagna. Excellent choice. 566 00:36:59,169 --> 00:37:03,104 Stick with me, Nath. You'll gain a mentor, wingman and all-around fun captain, 567 00:37:03,106 --> 00:37:07,909 and having you around might help ward off my occasional crushing, empty loneliness. 568 00:37:07,911 --> 00:37:09,544 The crushing, empty loneliness you ignore? 569 00:37:09,546 --> 00:37:11,613 What crushing, empty loneliness? 570 00:37:17,420 --> 00:37:18,486 Yeah! 571 00:37:33,402 --> 00:37:34,836 Call me. 572 00:37:34,838 --> 00:37:36,504 I will. 573 00:39:31,687 --> 00:39:33,188 Yeah, yeah. 574 00:39:51,540 --> 00:39:52,640 Whoa! 575 00:39:54,443 --> 00:39:55,543 Oh! 576 00:40:50,199 --> 00:40:52,200 Wow. 577 00:40:52,202 --> 00:40:54,502 Can't believe all that stuff happened in one day. 578 00:40:54,504 --> 00:40:56,504 That's the life of the sky, Nathan. 579 00:40:56,506 --> 00:41:00,208 Every day is an incredible series of fun, memorable events. 580 00:41:00,210 --> 00:41:02,043 A montage, if you will. 581 00:41:02,045 --> 00:41:04,846 - It was amazing. - I know. 582 00:41:04,848 --> 00:41:07,815 Although I did get strip searched by a giant angry man. 583 00:41:07,817 --> 00:41:10,018 And severely shocked with defibrillator paddles. 584 00:41:10,020 --> 00:41:11,586 Yep, best job in the world. 585 00:41:11,588 --> 00:41:12,920 I also drank vomit. 586 00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:53,828 Oh, dear God. 587 00:41:53,830 --> 00:41:56,197 - What? -Uh, I can't let that woman see me. 588 00:41:56,199 --> 00:41:57,679 - Why? - Just... 589 00:41:59,501 --> 00:42:01,536 What the... Damn! 590 00:42:01,538 --> 00:42:04,572 I'm not comfortable with this. Please, Larry... 591 00:42:04,574 --> 00:42:06,874 Yeah, Larry she's gone. Larry, she's gone! 592 00:42:06,876 --> 00:42:09,677 - Okay. Okay. - She's gone. 593 00:42:09,679 --> 00:42:11,240 That could've been really uncomfortable. 594 00:42:11,547 --> 00:42:14,048 Who was that? 595 00:42:14,050 --> 00:42:17,485 Nathan, I've said many times nobody can ground this plane permanently, 596 00:42:18,387 --> 00:42:20,154 but she came the closest. 597 00:42:20,156 --> 00:42:22,657 The year was 1998. 598 00:42:22,659 --> 00:42:26,227 I was on a weekend layover in LA and, well, you know, 599 00:42:26,229 --> 00:42:29,731 every great couple has a cute story about how they met. 600 00:42:30,466 --> 00:42:31,833 We were no different. 601 00:42:35,204 --> 00:42:37,405 She was walking her dog, Muffin. 602 00:42:37,407 --> 00:42:39,440 The night before, I'd been thrown through 603 00:42:39,442 --> 00:42:42,777 a car windshield at 50 miles an hour and left for dead. 604 00:42:42,779 --> 00:42:46,647 Boy, that little Muffin sure liked to lick dried blood off a face. 605 00:42:52,155 --> 00:42:54,422 That charming April convinced an off-duty, 606 00:42:54,424 --> 00:42:57,325 and possibly drunk, ambulance driver to pick me up. 607 00:42:57,327 --> 00:42:59,994 And I was glad she did. 608 00:42:59,996 --> 00:43:03,197 You're hot. You wanna have dinner tonight? 609 00:43:06,736 --> 00:43:08,616 I'll pick you up at 7:00, all right? 610 00:43:12,107 --> 00:43:15,343 So, I'm all bandaged up, right? I look her right in the eye and I say, 611 00:43:15,345 --> 00:43:17,879 "God, you're hot. You wanna have dinner tonight?" 612 00:43:17,881 --> 00:43:20,748 - Um, Larry... -Hello, storius interruptus much? 613 00:43:20,750 --> 00:43:22,417 - No, but she's... - Butt cheese? 614 00:43:22,419 --> 00:43:25,419 Really, Nathan? Act your age, not your weiner length, okay? 615 00:43:25,789 --> 00:43:30,691 We went to one of those restaurants where they cook everything at the table. 616 00:43:30,693 --> 00:43:35,496 We were given a truly authentic Japanese experience by chef Hiro Obata 617 00:43:35,498 --> 00:43:37,799 Garcia Gonzalez de San Fernando. 618 00:43:37,801 --> 00:43:39,667 I think it may have been his first day. 619 00:43:39,669 --> 00:43:42,170 So, uh, you grew up in LA? 620 00:43:42,172 --> 00:43:44,172 Hmm, well actually in the suburbs. 621 00:43:44,907 --> 00:43:45,973 Really? Me too. 622 00:43:45,975 --> 00:43:47,041 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. 623 00:43:47,043 --> 00:43:48,242 - Oh. - Yeah. 624 00:43:48,244 --> 00:43:51,345 Yeah, I loved it, you know, everything felt so safe. 625 00:43:51,347 --> 00:43:53,781 You could ride a bike to a friend's house 626 00:43:53,783 --> 00:43:55,944 without your parents being all worried about you. 627 00:43:56,652 --> 00:43:58,619 Totally, totally. 628 00:43:58,621 --> 00:44:00,141 - Yeah. - Yeah. 629 00:44:01,490 --> 00:44:02,557 Yeah. 630 00:44:02,559 --> 00:44:03,891 Mmm-hmm. 631 00:44:07,429 --> 00:44:09,931 So what made you decide that you wanted to fly? 632 00:44:13,735 --> 00:44:17,572 Well, let's just say I wanted to escape the pain of a father's abandonment. 633 00:44:17,574 --> 00:44:19,907 I wanted to escape the pain of a father's abandonment. 634 00:44:19,909 --> 00:44:22,150 Thank you. I didn't think I could say that by myself. 635 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:32,987 Hmm. 636 00:44:36,892 --> 00:44:37,959 Huh. 637 00:44:41,029 --> 00:44:42,430 It's crazy. 638 00:44:47,836 --> 00:44:49,537 So, do you believe in fate? 639 00:44:49,938 --> 00:44:52,273 Sure. Do you? 640 00:44:53,375 --> 00:44:55,309 How could I not? 641 00:44:55,311 --> 00:44:57,979 I mean, every day I walk Muffin down Elm Street, 642 00:44:57,981 --> 00:45:01,449 today I went down Maple, and there you were, 643 00:45:01,451 --> 00:45:03,284 unconscious on somebody's lawn. 644 00:45:03,286 --> 00:45:04,785 - Hmm. 645 00:45:04,787 --> 00:45:07,922 And usually I take a taxi back to my hotel room, 646 00:45:07,924 --> 00:45:10,258 but last night, I accepted a ride from a complete stranger 647 00:45:10,260 --> 00:45:13,227 who reeked of alcohol and could barely stand up straight. 648 00:45:13,229 --> 00:45:15,229 And if that hadn't happened, we would've never met. 649 00:45:15,231 --> 00:45:16,831 - I know. 650 00:45:16,833 --> 00:45:20,668 It's like that drunk driver was an angel, sent down to watch over me. 651 00:45:20,670 --> 00:45:21,736 Yeah. 652 00:45:23,238 --> 00:45:25,673 I love you, drunk driver who almost killed me. 653 00:45:26,276 --> 00:45:32,880 Now, without exaggeration, I've made love to roughly 135,000 women. 654 00:45:32,882 --> 00:45:36,043 But there was something about April that went beyond the physical. 655 00:45:37,986 --> 00:45:40,655 I... Wow. 656 00:45:40,657 --> 00:45:43,991 I just can't believe how much we have in common. 657 00:45:43,993 --> 00:45:47,795 You know, um, we both are Scorpios, we both love Japanese food. 658 00:45:47,797 --> 00:45:50,431 We both even have the same middle name. 659 00:45:50,433 --> 00:45:51,499 I know. 660 00:45:52,968 --> 00:45:56,504 You are amazing, Larry Elizabeth Gaye. 661 00:46:15,457 --> 00:46:17,692 But despite how wonderfully everything was going, 662 00:46:17,694 --> 00:46:19,694 something just didn't feel right. 663 00:46:27,035 --> 00:46:28,736 Do you have to go? 664 00:46:28,738 --> 00:46:30,705 No, I went when I woke up. 665 00:46:32,774 --> 00:46:35,176 So, when you come back to LA, will I see you? 666 00:46:35,178 --> 00:46:38,279 Look, I, um, the thing is... 667 00:46:41,249 --> 00:46:42,350 Yes. 668 00:46:43,785 --> 00:46:45,586 Yes, you will. 669 00:46:45,588 --> 00:46:46,954 You promise? 670 00:46:46,956 --> 00:46:49,523 I give you my word, I'll call you. 671 00:46:53,128 --> 00:46:55,029 Well, I didn't call her. 672 00:46:55,031 --> 00:46:59,033 Why not? Nathan, you know me. I'm built to fly. 673 00:46:59,035 --> 00:47:00,435 And as great as April was, I just... 674 00:47:00,436 --> 00:47:02,470 I didn't think I could be fully happy down on the ground. 675 00:47:02,472 --> 00:47:04,238 Then why didn't you have the guts to say that? 676 00:47:04,240 --> 00:47:06,607 Well, because... Turbulence. 677 00:47:07,809 --> 00:47:09,777 April. 678 00:47:09,779 --> 00:47:12,813 Boy, your ears must have been burning, 'cause I was just talking about you. 679 00:47:12,815 --> 00:47:14,015 How have you been? 680 00:47:14,017 --> 00:47:17,618 How have I been? Oh, gosh. Uh, let's see. 681 00:47:17,620 --> 00:47:19,787 I work at a crappy hotel, where, um, 682 00:47:19,789 --> 00:47:23,024 I get hit on all day by shitheads who say they're gonna call and they never do. 683 00:47:23,026 --> 00:47:24,325 How you been? 684 00:47:25,527 --> 00:47:28,796 Great, I've won six Golden Coffee Pots in a row. 685 00:47:28,798 --> 00:47:31,365 - This is my buddy, Nathan. - Asshole. 686 00:47:31,367 --> 00:47:34,101 Hey, that's not really fair. You didn't even give him a chance. 687 00:47:34,103 --> 00:47:35,770 - I think she meant you. - No. 688 00:47:37,072 --> 00:47:39,573 Really? April, wait! 689 00:47:42,944 --> 00:47:44,478 I'm sorry. 690 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,714 I'm sorry. I should never have done what I did. 691 00:47:46,716 --> 00:47:50,985 I guess what I'm trying to say is, what I should've done is what I didn't. 692 00:47:50,987 --> 00:47:55,723 And what I did do is not the opposite of what the unright thing to do would've been. 693 00:47:55,725 --> 00:47:58,392 - I understand. Okay. - Okay, good. 694 00:47:58,394 --> 00:48:01,962 Um, in fact, why don't you, um... 695 00:48:03,598 --> 00:48:06,033 Why don't you come over tonight? 696 00:48:06,035 --> 00:48:09,970 We can, um, pick up where we left of, you know, for old times' sake. 697 00:48:11,273 --> 00:48:17,411 Well, I guess I could drop my landing gear, if you know what I mean. 698 00:48:17,413 --> 00:48:22,283 Put my tray table into its upright position, if you know what I mean. 699 00:48:22,285 --> 00:48:25,119 Fit my wheelie bag into you overhead comp... 700 00:48:25,121 --> 00:48:26,554 I know what you mean. 701 00:48:26,556 --> 00:48:28,122 Okay, so I'll see you tonight, right? 702 00:48:28,124 --> 00:48:29,824 - Yes, you will. - Okay. 703 00:49:03,959 --> 00:49:09,296 And this is the team that we have assembled to fine tune the Flightpal's hard drive. 704 00:49:09,298 --> 00:49:13,067 Johann Kaminsky, Stuart Nevins and Token Black. 705 00:49:13,702 --> 00:49:16,637 Taequan Black. Taequan Black. 706 00:49:16,639 --> 00:49:18,873 Yes, of course it is. 707 00:49:18,875 --> 00:49:21,642 Now, Mr. Techtronics would like to see how it's going 708 00:49:21,644 --> 00:49:23,811 with our highest priority project. 709 00:49:23,813 --> 00:49:25,679 - Uh, fantastic. - Right on target. 710 00:49:25,681 --> 00:49:27,915 - Couldn't ask for better. - Well within parameters. 711 00:49:27,917 --> 00:49:29,083 Are you sure? 712 00:49:29,085 --> 00:49:31,852 Well, the technical stuff will be there, 713 00:49:31,854 --> 00:49:36,190 but there's a certain human instinct that great flight attendants have, 714 00:49:36,192 --> 00:49:38,793 which we don't fully understand yet. 715 00:49:38,795 --> 00:49:40,795 I think I can help you with that. 716 00:49:42,264 --> 00:49:43,864 What? 717 00:49:43,866 --> 00:49:46,867 What's the matter with you boys? Never seen a sexy woman before? 718 00:49:48,937 --> 00:49:51,172 - No, no. - No, no. Not for free. No. 719 00:49:51,174 --> 00:49:53,774 Isabella here has done a little research for us. 720 00:49:55,577 --> 00:49:59,113 Larry, I want to know the secrets of being 721 00:49:59,115 --> 00:50:01,715 the best flight attendant in the world. 722 00:50:01,717 --> 00:50:04,919 Wait, you're not gonna somehow use this against me, are you? 723 00:50:04,921 --> 00:50:07,121 What? No, of course not. 724 00:50:07,123 --> 00:50:10,324 No, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just felt I had to ask. 725 00:50:10,326 --> 00:50:13,494 Anyway, all my secrets? Where do I begin? 726 00:50:20,836 --> 00:50:23,404 These tulips should go in water. 727 00:50:23,406 --> 00:50:27,241 And these two lips should go on a self-guided tour of Mount April. 728 00:50:27,243 --> 00:50:30,177 Larry, you haven't changed a bit. 729 00:50:30,179 --> 00:50:34,849 Hey, if it ain't broke, don't un-break it, if you know what I mean. 730 00:50:34,851 --> 00:50:36,717 - I don't. Um... - Okay. 731 00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:39,920 Uh, Larry there is someone I'd like you to meet. 732 00:50:39,922 --> 00:50:43,324 - Mmm. - So, um, just wait here. 733 00:50:43,326 --> 00:50:45,726 - That's exactly what I'm gonna do. - Okay. 734 00:50:47,329 --> 00:50:48,729 Three-way. 735 00:50:54,803 --> 00:50:57,538 Huh, that's a different way to go. 736 00:50:59,741 --> 00:51:01,342 - Larry. - Oh. 737 00:51:02,143 --> 00:51:03,310 This is Donnie. 738 00:51:04,246 --> 00:51:06,380 - What's up, man? - He's your son. 739 00:51:06,382 --> 00:51:08,616 He's my what? Eh... 740 00:51:09,284 --> 00:51:10,584 Whoa. 741 00:51:10,586 --> 00:51:13,153 - May I have a word with you? - Yeah. 742 00:51:16,358 --> 00:51:19,093 This can't be. We only did it once. 743 00:51:19,661 --> 00:51:21,495 That was all it took. 744 00:51:21,497 --> 00:51:23,297 That's what I'm talking about. 745 00:51:23,999 --> 00:51:26,200 But how can you be sure he's mine? 746 00:51:29,504 --> 00:51:30,738 Turbulence. 747 00:51:38,446 --> 00:51:40,681 Hey, Donnie. 748 00:51:45,253 --> 00:51:46,954 Would you like some more? 749 00:51:46,956 --> 00:51:48,155 Don't mind if I do. 750 00:51:48,924 --> 00:51:50,057 Okay. 751 00:51:50,725 --> 00:51:52,626 Hmm. Mmm. No, no. 752 00:51:52,628 --> 00:51:53,928 Oh, okay. 753 00:52:15,951 --> 00:52:17,184 Oh, okay. 754 00:52:18,420 --> 00:52:19,687 Mmm. 755 00:52:19,689 --> 00:52:23,223 Oh, uh, convenient. 756 00:52:23,225 --> 00:52:25,452 Yeah, well, I don't have a lot of time to cook. 757 00:52:25,478 --> 00:52:26,427 I'm a single mother. 758 00:52:26,429 --> 00:52:27,561 As you know. 759 00:52:27,563 --> 00:52:29,330 Yeah, that's gotta be rough. 760 00:52:30,966 --> 00:52:34,535 So, Donnie, how's school? Uh, What... What grade are you in? 761 00:52:36,638 --> 00:52:39,106 First? Wow, you gotta be one of the bigger kids in the class, huh? 762 00:52:39,108 --> 00:52:41,308 No, Donnie, don't disrespect your father. 763 00:52:41,310 --> 00:52:42,609 He's not my father. 764 00:52:42,611 --> 00:52:44,311 Aha! The plot thickens. 765 00:52:44,313 --> 00:52:47,781 No, he means he doesn't accept you as a father. 766 00:52:48,783 --> 00:52:50,451 Oh. I see. 767 00:52:51,953 --> 00:52:55,489 Okay, look, Donnie. I don't blame you for feeling angry towards me. 768 00:52:55,491 --> 00:52:58,525 If you don't want me to be a part of your life, I understand. 769 00:52:59,060 --> 00:53:00,160 Good. 770 00:53:02,397 --> 00:53:03,998 It's just as well. 771 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,934 Flying the LA to Chicago route first thing in the morning anyway. 772 00:53:06,936 --> 00:53:09,436 I'm... I'm sorry again. 773 00:53:09,438 --> 00:53:11,805 - About... About everything. - Mmm-hmm. 774 00:53:13,475 --> 00:53:14,641 Wait. 775 00:53:15,577 --> 00:53:17,444 Dad, are you a pilot? 776 00:53:19,047 --> 00:53:23,784 Wait, um, your mother didn't tell you what I do for a living? 777 00:53:23,786 --> 00:53:25,986 She's never told me anything about you. 778 00:53:25,988 --> 00:53:29,023 I've always dreamed of having a dad who was a pilot. 779 00:53:29,025 --> 00:53:32,059 Son, that look of wide-eyed adoration on your face makes it hard for me to admit 780 00:53:32,061 --> 00:53:34,595 - that I'm only a fly... - Please say pilot. 781 00:53:34,597 --> 00:53:38,165 Ing man. Meaning pilot. I'm a pilot. I'm a pilot. 782 00:53:38,167 --> 00:53:41,668 That is so cool. That's what I wanna be when I grow up. 783 00:53:41,670 --> 00:53:43,771 Tell me everything about it. Every single detail. 784 00:53:43,773 --> 00:53:45,639 Son, there is nothing like the feeling 785 00:53:45,641 --> 00:53:48,175 of guiding that bird up to 36,000 feet. 786 00:53:48,177 --> 00:53:49,810 Someday you'll come up with me. 787 00:53:49,812 --> 00:53:53,981 Okay. Why don't you two keep talking, I'm gonna get dessert ready, okay? 788 00:53:53,983 --> 00:53:55,282 Okay. 789 00:53:58,253 --> 00:54:00,487 Wow, there's just so much I didn't know. 790 00:54:00,489 --> 00:54:02,423 Well, now you do. 791 00:54:03,591 --> 00:54:04,825 Any questions? 792 00:54:04,827 --> 00:54:08,929 Yeah, uh, can you still do it if there's only one girl? 793 00:54:08,931 --> 00:54:10,998 Good question, Son. 794 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,701 And the answer, believe it or not, is yes. 795 00:54:14,703 --> 00:54:16,170 I mean, she won't always have a hot roommate 796 00:54:16,172 --> 00:54:18,405 or a college friend visiting from out of town. 797 00:54:18,407 --> 00:54:20,874 On those occasions, you have to make it work. 798 00:54:20,876 --> 00:54:23,077 And where can I get one of these swings? 799 00:54:23,079 --> 00:54:26,447 There are catalogs. Online sex shops. I had mine custom made in Bangkok. 800 00:54:26,449 --> 00:54:30,584 But remember, install it properly. And test it out. 801 00:54:30,586 --> 00:54:32,586 Because you always wanna have... 802 00:54:33,488 --> 00:54:34,788 Safe sex. 803 00:54:34,790 --> 00:54:38,258 Atta boy. That's my boy. Anything else? 804 00:54:38,260 --> 00:54:39,993 Yeah, just one thing. 805 00:54:39,995 --> 00:54:45,666 Should you still do it if you and the girl are, like, in love? 806 00:54:45,668 --> 00:54:48,869 Hmm. I'm gonna have to say no on that one, Son. 807 00:54:48,871 --> 00:54:51,605 There can be a lot of strings attached. 808 00:54:51,607 --> 00:54:55,742 But you know what? You're only 13. You have so much to learn. 809 00:54:55,744 --> 00:54:57,644 I just... I wanted you to have the basics. 810 00:54:57,646 --> 00:54:59,179 Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate it. 811 00:54:59,181 --> 00:55:00,848 Hey, you got it. 812 00:55:00,850 --> 00:55:04,751 Now bring it in here. Huh? All right. That's my boy. 813 00:55:09,758 --> 00:55:11,158 Oh. 814 00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,193 Hey, what are you guys doing in here? 815 00:55:13,195 --> 00:55:15,562 Uh, just a little father-son bondage. 816 00:55:17,198 --> 00:55:21,201 Okay. Uh, Donnie, I'm afraid that it's time for you to go to bed. 817 00:55:21,203 --> 00:55:23,403 - Aww. - Can Dad stay over? 818 00:55:25,273 --> 00:55:28,041 - If you like, yeah, he can stay. - Sweet. 819 00:55:28,043 --> 00:55:31,311 The living room? I mean, what if the kid walks in on us? 820 00:55:32,780 --> 00:55:35,048 Hmm, I don't know. 821 00:55:44,259 --> 00:55:46,260 Oh, um, don't forget to lock that. 822 00:55:46,262 --> 00:55:48,742 It's broken, it tends to release. So if you... 823 00:55:49,197 --> 00:55:51,064 Yeah, I think I got it. 824 00:55:55,837 --> 00:56:00,240 So, how come you never tried to find me and tell me about Donnie? 825 00:56:01,409 --> 00:56:05,045 Um, well, because I was... I was really angry. 826 00:56:05,813 --> 00:56:08,749 Angry at you for leaving, 827 00:56:08,751 --> 00:56:12,386 and I didn't think you deserved a son as great as Donnie, 828 00:56:12,388 --> 00:56:13,921 and I don't know, I guess when I saw you at the pool, 829 00:56:13,923 --> 00:56:16,723 I thought maybe the time had come. 830 00:56:16,725 --> 00:56:20,861 Well, April, I wanna do my part. 831 00:56:20,863 --> 00:56:23,897 From now on, I'll give you half my salary for him. 832 00:56:23,899 --> 00:56:27,100 Well, I'll give you 25% of my salary for him. 833 00:56:27,102 --> 00:56:30,737 And on his birthday, well, I'll pick him out something from the sky mall. 834 00:56:30,739 --> 00:56:33,507 A sleep mask, a neck pillow. 835 00:56:33,509 --> 00:56:35,242 Perhaps some nice compression leg sleeves, 836 00:56:35,244 --> 00:56:37,678 ideal for improved circulation on longer flights. 837 00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:40,614 Okay, I think what he'd really like to have is a father in the picture. 838 00:56:40,616 --> 00:56:45,152 I know. You've got to get out there and start dating while you're still hot. 839 00:56:45,154 --> 00:56:46,286 I meant you. 840 00:56:46,988 --> 00:56:48,055 Oh. 841 00:56:49,557 --> 00:56:53,160 Look, I... I know that it's a lot to ask, 842 00:56:53,162 --> 00:56:58,699 but if you, I don't know, if you ever stop flying and settle in the area, you... 843 00:56:58,701 --> 00:57:00,968 You could really be a big part of his life. 844 00:57:00,970 --> 00:57:03,136 Yeah, but how would I even earn a living? 845 00:57:03,138 --> 00:57:06,240 I mean, sure, I could open a studio and teach the Macarena, 846 00:57:06,242 --> 00:57:08,842 but that craze isn't gonna last forever. 847 00:57:08,844 --> 00:57:10,711 April, let's face it. 848 00:57:10,713 --> 00:57:14,715 If you couldn't keep me on the ground, well, nothing could. 849 00:57:16,017 --> 00:57:18,452 Okay, well, just think about it. 850 00:57:19,454 --> 00:57:20,520 Okay. 851 00:57:27,362 --> 00:57:28,528 Oh, not right now? 852 00:57:30,498 --> 00:57:31,798 Just think about it. 853 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,268 Better yet, I'll think about it. 854 00:57:34,270 --> 00:57:35,535 - Okay. - Okay. 855 00:57:35,537 --> 00:57:37,504 Good night, Larry. 856 00:57:37,506 --> 00:57:40,374 Hey, uh, maybe we could have sex. 857 00:57:41,175 --> 00:57:43,277 If you know what I mean. 858 00:57:43,279 --> 00:57:46,146 Okay, if you say the actual thing, then you don't need to say, 859 00:57:46,148 --> 00:57:47,948 "If you know what I mean." 860 00:57:47,950 --> 00:57:49,449 Is that a yes? 861 00:57:49,451 --> 00:57:50,684 That's a no. 862 00:57:50,686 --> 00:57:51,785 - Got it. - Okay. 863 00:57:51,787 --> 00:57:53,053 All right. 864 00:58:13,975 --> 00:58:15,142 Oh. 865 00:58:21,349 --> 00:58:22,916 I said no, Larry. 866 00:58:24,218 --> 00:58:25,285 Oh. 867 00:58:31,626 --> 00:58:33,060 Morning, Son. 868 00:58:33,062 --> 00:58:37,397 Morning, woman with whom passionate unprotected fling resulted in son. 869 00:58:38,132 --> 00:58:39,533 Morning. 870 00:58:39,535 --> 00:58:41,034 Where's your hat, Dad? 871 00:58:41,036 --> 00:58:44,438 - What hat? - Your pilot's hat. 872 00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:49,242 Oh, right. I don't like to wear it when I'm not flying. Too pilot-y. 873 00:58:49,244 --> 00:58:51,978 Which I am, of course. Pilot. I'm a pilot. 874 00:58:51,980 --> 00:58:54,514 Wait, why is your tie tucked into your shirt? 875 00:58:54,516 --> 00:58:57,551 I thought only loser stewardesses did that. 876 00:58:57,553 --> 00:58:58,618 Flight attendants. 877 00:59:00,388 --> 00:59:04,224 Is what those losers prefer to be called, 878 00:59:04,226 --> 00:59:07,394 and this tie-tuck is my way of mocking them. 879 00:59:07,396 --> 00:59:09,930 Losers. Come on, I'll walk you to school. 880 00:59:09,932 --> 00:59:11,698 Oh, actually, I ride a bike. 881 00:59:11,700 --> 00:59:13,066 Not a problem. 882 00:59:17,004 --> 00:59:20,173 Hey, Dad. When I grow up, can I be a pilot just like you? 883 00:59:20,175 --> 00:59:22,909 Of course you can. You can be anything you want, Son. 884 00:59:22,911 --> 00:59:26,313 Just follow your dreams and go wherever they take you. 885 00:59:26,315 --> 00:59:30,283 The good ones, not the weird ones, like when you're naked at a funeral. 886 00:59:30,285 --> 00:59:31,785 Or naked at a petting zoo. 887 00:59:31,787 --> 00:59:33,787 I got it. Thanks, Dad. 888 00:59:33,789 --> 00:59:34,888 You got it, Son. 889 00:59:38,926 --> 00:59:40,293 Let me get that for you, Son. 890 00:59:40,295 --> 00:59:42,529 - Thanks, Dad. - Sure. Straight in there. 891 00:59:42,531 --> 00:59:44,898 Hey, look. It's Donnie Girlparts. 892 00:59:44,900 --> 00:59:47,100 How's your vagina today, Donnie? 893 00:59:47,102 --> 00:59:48,335 Son, you have a vagina? 894 00:59:48,337 --> 00:59:50,170 God, the surprises just keep coming. 895 00:59:50,172 --> 00:59:53,106 No, Dad. They pick on me 'cause they think I'm a wuss. 896 00:59:53,108 --> 00:59:54,908 It's no big deal, okay? 897 00:59:54,910 --> 00:59:56,710 I beg to differ. 898 00:59:56,712 --> 00:59:58,712 Hey, you. 899 00:59:58,714 --> 01:00:01,214 This young man here, he's a Gaye. 900 01:00:01,216 --> 01:00:03,583 And when you mess with a Gaye, 901 01:00:03,585 --> 01:00:05,652 you mess with Gayes everywhere. 902 01:00:05,654 --> 01:00:08,588 And some of us Gayes have a vicious temper. You feel me? 903 01:00:08,590 --> 01:00:10,056 You feel me on that? 904 01:00:11,492 --> 01:00:12,559 Scram! 905 01:00:16,465 --> 01:00:17,531 Thanks, Dad. 906 01:00:17,533 --> 01:00:19,933 Hey, it's what dads do. 907 01:00:21,202 --> 01:00:25,238 So, are you gonna be, like, staying with us from now on? 908 01:00:26,641 --> 01:00:28,442 Well, actually, Son, I... 909 01:00:29,844 --> 01:00:32,279 I... I will. 910 01:00:32,847 --> 01:00:34,514 Of course I will. 911 01:00:34,516 --> 01:00:37,317 What, do you think I'm just gonna abandon you like my own father did? 912 01:00:37,319 --> 01:00:39,519 That I'm gonna choose an empty, transient existence 913 01:00:39,521 --> 01:00:42,556 over a meaningful life with a family that loves me? 914 01:00:42,558 --> 01:00:45,125 What do you got for a guy who chose an empty transient existence 915 01:00:45,127 --> 01:00:49,463 - over a meaningful life with a family that loves him? -Scotch? 916 01:00:49,465 --> 01:00:52,666 - No, I'm American. - Sorry, you look Scotch. 917 01:00:57,738 --> 01:01:01,508 - You're Gaye, right? - Yeah. 918 01:01:01,510 --> 01:01:04,744 Thought so. You remind me of your dad. 919 01:01:08,783 --> 01:01:10,283 Ugh! 920 01:01:29,303 --> 01:01:33,974 Well, Cecile it looks like your award-winning flight attendant 921 01:01:33,976 --> 01:01:37,677 - is 30 minutes late. -That's the type of human error 922 01:01:37,679 --> 01:01:41,281 that you never have to worry about with the Flightpal. 923 01:01:41,283 --> 01:01:44,584 - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Larry's coming, I know he is. -Uh-huh. 924 01:01:44,586 --> 01:01:46,253 Well, he's about 30 minutes late. 925 01:01:46,255 --> 01:01:48,054 - Well, maybe he's stuck in traffic, I don't know. -Really? 926 01:01:48,056 --> 01:01:51,091 - I don't think he's ever gonna show up. - Trust me, he's a hero. 927 01:01:51,093 --> 01:01:53,226 - Mmm-hmm. -He's gonna save all of our jobs. 928 01:01:53,228 --> 01:01:56,830 - I ran out on my own son, everyone. 929 01:01:56,832 --> 01:02:02,068 Yes, I did. Just like my own father ran out on me. 930 01:02:02,070 --> 01:02:07,607 The sins of the fathers laid on the children of the corn. 931 01:02:07,609 --> 01:02:10,777 'Cause I had a chance to stop the cycle of abandonment. Did I? Did I? 932 01:02:11,546 --> 01:02:12,979 Larry! 933 01:02:12,981 --> 01:02:14,501 - No, it's Jack. - Larry. 934 01:02:15,383 --> 01:02:17,784 Oh, boy, this isn't optimal. 935 01:02:18,986 --> 01:02:22,255 - Okay, all right, listen to me. - Okay. 936 01:02:22,257 --> 01:02:23,456 - Okay? - Okay. 937 01:02:23,458 --> 01:02:25,492 I want you to take all this shame, okay, 938 01:02:25,494 --> 01:02:27,661 all this pain that you're feeling right now, 939 01:02:27,663 --> 01:02:29,896 and let's use it, let's channel it. 940 01:02:30,331 --> 01:02:31,598 Let's focus it. 941 01:02:33,267 --> 01:02:36,136 Thank you, Nathan. I needed that. 942 01:02:41,242 --> 01:02:42,609 Phew! 943 01:02:43,444 --> 01:02:44,678 My God, you're hot. 944 01:02:46,113 --> 01:02:48,515 Look, I've got a full-on dinosaur bone in my pants, 945 01:02:48,517 --> 01:02:50,318 and it's not going away any time soon. 946 01:02:52,186 --> 01:02:54,955 Yeah, let's do this. 947 01:03:01,696 --> 01:03:03,196 Attendants ready. 948 01:03:04,098 --> 01:03:06,299 - And go! 949 01:03:11,105 --> 01:03:12,439 And brew! 950 01:03:55,750 --> 01:03:56,983 Good. 951 01:04:17,204 --> 01:04:18,371 Oh! 952 01:04:18,373 --> 01:04:20,573 Ow! 953 01:04:32,754 --> 01:04:34,087 Here we go, are you ready for this? 954 01:04:34,089 --> 01:04:35,689 - Yeah! -All right, she's just a sexy robot. 955 01:04:35,691 --> 01:04:37,957 Just a sexy robot. You're Larry Gaye. 956 01:04:37,959 --> 01:04:40,694 Go! Go get her. 957 01:04:43,564 --> 01:04:45,065 What does this test measure? 958 01:04:45,067 --> 01:04:47,467 We just thought it'd be fun to watch. 959 01:04:47,469 --> 01:04:48,702 - Okay. 960 01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:13,760 Move! 961 01:05:13,762 --> 01:05:14,961 Oh! 962 01:05:27,742 --> 01:05:30,076 Nathan! 963 01:05:30,078 --> 01:05:33,480 - Nathan! - Right here. 964 01:05:33,482 --> 01:05:37,183 Nathan, Nathan, I've done it, Nathan. 965 01:05:37,952 --> 01:05:40,920 - I've done it. - No, you didn't. 966 01:05:42,356 --> 01:05:44,036 - I didn't? - You didn't. 967 01:05:44,492 --> 01:05:45,992 - Oh. - It was ugly. 968 01:05:46,227 --> 01:05:47,427 Oh. 969 01:05:50,431 --> 01:05:54,701 - Okay, Nate, so how am I doing? - All right, I've got you down 970 01:05:54,703 --> 01:05:58,605 30 points to none. 971 01:05:58,607 --> 01:06:01,908 - With one event left. -Huh. I felt it was closer than that. 972 01:06:01,910 --> 01:06:05,011 - It's not. -Well, how can I possibly make up 30 points? 973 01:06:05,013 --> 01:06:07,013 Because customer service is so important, 974 01:06:07,015 --> 01:06:09,082 this final event is worth 31 points. 975 01:06:09,084 --> 01:06:10,383 - Hmm. - Wow, that's convenient. 976 01:06:10,385 --> 01:06:15,088 We're going to present a customer service problem and see who can best solve it. 977 01:06:15,090 --> 01:06:17,390 It's dinner time we have two entrees, 978 01:06:17,392 --> 01:06:20,093 barbeque chicken and pasta primavera. 979 01:06:20,095 --> 01:06:22,562 The problem is, you're all out of pasta. 980 01:06:24,398 --> 01:06:27,033 Good evening, folks, for dinner we have 981 01:06:27,035 --> 01:06:30,570 barbeque chicken or stewed muskrat testicles. 982 01:06:30,572 --> 01:06:32,806 - I'll have the chicken. - Of course you will. 983 01:06:34,208 --> 01:06:37,510 I have barbeque chicken or vomit encrusted rat legs. 984 01:06:37,512 --> 01:06:39,946 Barbeque chicken. - Now, that's programing. 985 01:06:41,549 --> 01:06:44,350 Uh, barbeque chicken or the 986 01:06:44,352 --> 01:06:49,589 sauteed anus of a skunk served on a bed of the anuses of other skunks. 987 01:06:49,591 --> 01:06:51,357 I'll take the chicken. 988 01:06:51,359 --> 01:06:55,395 Barbeque chicken or toe nail fungus in a broth of hobo saliva and crotch sweat. 989 01:06:55,397 --> 01:06:59,265 Barbeque chicken or, uh, bubonic plague 990 01:06:59,267 --> 01:07:02,235 garnished with pigeon droppings and the hand-fluffed pubes 991 01:07:02,237 --> 01:07:05,605 of a fat, old eczema sufferer who just ran a 10k. 992 01:07:05,607 --> 01:07:07,140 Chicken sounds good. - Yeah. 993 01:07:07,142 --> 01:07:10,043 Barbeque chicken or dingleberry-crusted rat tartar 994 01:07:10,045 --> 01:07:14,280 drizzled with pus, served with a warm mug of curdled liposuction fat. 995 01:07:14,282 --> 01:07:15,682 Chicken, please. - Um... 996 01:07:15,684 --> 01:07:19,719 Barbeque chicken or... Or, um... 997 01:07:19,721 --> 01:07:24,224 - Or lobster. I... - Oh, I'll have the lobster. 998 01:07:24,226 --> 01:07:27,227 Yeah, fuck chicken, I want the lobster too. - I don't have lobster. 999 01:07:27,229 --> 01:07:29,445 I only have barbeque chicken. I couldn't think 1000 01:07:29,471 --> 01:07:31,331 of anything else disgusting. I give up. 1001 01:07:31,333 --> 01:07:33,099 Larry Gaye gives up. 1002 01:07:37,605 --> 01:07:39,105 I am amazed. 1003 01:07:40,608 --> 01:07:42,809 I am amazed. 1004 01:07:42,811 --> 01:07:46,012 The winner, by a score of 61 points to zero, 1005 01:07:46,014 --> 01:07:49,048 -is Sally the Flightpal. 1006 01:07:56,323 --> 01:07:57,724 Ugh! 1007 01:07:59,393 --> 01:08:02,195 I don't know how you lost. You were down by 30 points. 1008 01:08:02,197 --> 01:08:05,131 But when they said the last event was for 31, I thought for sure you'd win. 1009 01:08:05,133 --> 01:08:08,101 Nah, things like that only happen in the movies, Nathan. 1010 01:08:08,103 --> 01:08:09,736 This is real life. 1011 01:08:09,738 --> 01:08:11,537 But how did she know how to do that with the arm tray? 1012 01:08:11,539 --> 01:08:14,107 I mean, it's like she knew my every move. But how? 1013 01:08:15,042 --> 01:08:16,342 Isabella. 1014 01:08:18,779 --> 01:08:22,348 The woman who seduced me and with whom I shared all my secrets, 1015 01:08:22,350 --> 01:08:24,817 and then never heard from again. 1016 01:08:24,819 --> 01:08:28,521 You came to support me. I'm truly touched, that is so sweet. 1017 01:08:28,523 --> 01:08:29,856 I don't think that's what happened, Lar. 1018 01:08:29,858 --> 01:08:32,158 I think she plied you for information 1019 01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:34,594 - and used it against you. - -Oh. 1020 01:08:34,596 --> 01:08:37,463 Pardon my sidekick, he's embarrassingly naive. 1021 01:08:37,465 --> 01:08:41,100 - How have you been? -Oh, no, he's right, Larry. I'm sorry. 1022 01:08:41,102 --> 01:08:44,437 You deceiving tramp. I never wanna see your lying face again. 1023 01:08:44,439 --> 01:08:49,175 My God, you are so hot! Any chance you're free for dinner? 1024 01:08:49,177 --> 01:08:52,979 - No. - Lunch, tomorrow? Breakfast? 1025 01:08:52,981 --> 01:08:54,981 God! I'm such an idiot! 1026 01:08:56,150 --> 01:08:58,718 I've ruined flight attending for everyone. 1027 01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:01,421 Everyone! Everyone! 1028 01:09:13,834 --> 01:09:16,135 You can be anything you want, Son. Just follow your dreams 1029 01:09:16,137 --> 01:09:18,705 and go wherever they take you. 1030 01:09:18,707 --> 01:09:21,441 - Federated Airlines. 1031 01:09:21,443 --> 01:09:26,679 Hi, this is Larry Gaye. I seem to have forgotten my next assignment. 1032 01:09:26,681 --> 01:09:28,481 Could you tell me where my next flight is? 1033 01:09:28,483 --> 01:09:30,350 Oh, hi, Larry, it's Cristal. 1034 01:09:30,352 --> 01:09:34,187 You've got Flight 37 to Buenos Aires, leaves San Fran tonight at 10:00. 1035 01:09:34,189 --> 01:09:38,291 - Thank you. -Hey, Larry, what are you wearing? 1036 01:09:38,293 --> 01:09:42,028 - Jeans and a hoodie from GAP kids. - Okay. 1037 01:09:56,143 --> 01:09:58,344 - Okay, have a nice flight. - Mmm-hmm. 1038 01:09:59,713 --> 01:10:02,849 - May I help you? -Hi, can I get a ticket from Los Angeles 1039 01:10:02,851 --> 01:10:05,284 to San Francisco, and continuing on from San Francisco 1040 01:10:05,286 --> 01:10:06,986 to Buenos Aires, please? 1041 01:10:06,988 --> 01:10:10,089 Sorry, I'm not allowed to sell tickets to unaccompanied minors. 1042 01:10:16,397 --> 01:10:20,299 I'd like a ticket from Los Angeles to San Francisco, then on to Buenos Aires. 1043 01:10:20,301 --> 01:10:23,903 Sorry, I'm not allowed to sell tickets to unaccompanied miners. 1044 01:10:23,905 --> 01:10:27,306 Oh, no, actually we're together. So... 1045 01:10:27,841 --> 01:10:29,642 Oh, perfect! 1046 01:10:46,427 --> 01:10:49,762 Jeez. What happened? Who brought herpes to the orgy? 1047 01:10:49,764 --> 01:10:51,230 Larry, look. 1048 01:10:55,002 --> 01:10:57,770 - She has herpes? Thanks for the heads-up. -No! 1049 01:10:57,772 --> 01:11:01,140 That's the Flightpal. They say within a year, we'll all be gone. 1050 01:11:01,142 --> 01:11:03,976 - It's devastating. -You say that like it's my fault. 1051 01:11:03,978 --> 01:11:08,347 As if I lost some sort of flight attending contest to save our jobs. 1052 01:11:08,349 --> 01:11:10,450 You did. That's exactly what happened. 1053 01:11:10,452 --> 01:11:13,453 - Disagree not to agree. - You're just combining words. 1054 01:11:13,455 --> 01:11:14,821 Correctly. 1055 01:11:24,398 --> 01:11:28,101 - Sir, can I get you a drink? - Bourbon, rocks. 1056 01:11:28,103 --> 01:11:31,037 It sure does, but I'm afraid I can't serve alcohol to miners. 1057 01:11:33,307 --> 01:11:35,608 - Sparkling water. - Very well. 1058 01:11:38,745 --> 01:11:41,948 - Sir, can I get you a... Son? - Dad! 1059 01:11:43,484 --> 01:11:44,984 What are you doing here? 1060 01:11:44,986 --> 01:11:47,954 Well, I took your advice. You told me to follow my dreams, 1061 01:11:47,956 --> 01:11:50,456 and my dreams are to fly and be with you. 1062 01:11:51,458 --> 01:11:52,992 Donnie, I can't be a part of this. 1063 01:11:52,994 --> 01:11:54,393 I mean, your mother's probably worried sick. 1064 01:11:54,395 --> 01:11:57,296 You get off this plane and go home, this minute. 1065 01:11:57,298 --> 01:11:59,465 - We're at 32,000 feet. - Right. 1066 01:11:59,467 --> 01:12:01,767 Whatever you do, do not get off this plane, 1067 01:12:01,769 --> 01:12:05,238 but we're gonna talk more about this when we get to Buenos Aires. 1068 01:12:06,039 --> 01:12:07,140 Hey, Dad? 1069 01:12:08,609 --> 01:12:10,510 What are you doing back here serving drinks? 1070 01:12:10,512 --> 01:12:13,012 Aren't you supposed to be up front in the cockpit? 1071 01:12:14,983 --> 01:12:17,984 And that's how you serve a drink, 1072 01:12:17,986 --> 01:12:20,319 you lowly, wussified flight attendant. 1073 01:12:20,321 --> 01:12:22,655 God! Don't make me come back here and show you again. 1074 01:12:22,657 --> 01:12:25,725 - I'm way too busy flying the plane. - But, Larry... 1075 01:12:25,727 --> 01:12:28,995 Larry? Who's Larry? I'm not Larry. It's Captain Gaye to you. 1076 01:12:28,997 --> 01:12:32,265 Hey! That's my nickname. 1077 01:12:32,267 --> 01:12:36,435 Huh. Okay. I've gotta get back to work. 1078 01:12:36,437 --> 01:12:40,673 In the cockpit, of course. Which is where I belong, being a pilot. 1079 01:12:40,675 --> 01:12:41,841 I'm a pilot. 1080 01:12:55,189 --> 01:12:57,056 - Look who it is. 1081 01:12:58,992 --> 01:13:00,833 What are you doing up here, Gaye? 1082 01:13:02,329 --> 01:13:05,665 My son is on board and he doesn't know I'm only a... 1083 01:13:05,667 --> 01:13:07,366 - Flying waitress? - Sissy man? 1084 01:13:07,868 --> 01:13:09,335 Ass pansy? 1085 01:13:10,337 --> 01:13:12,538 Come on, guys. Give me a break, okay? 1086 01:13:12,540 --> 01:13:15,741 Just let me stay up here for a while so he doesn't find out. 1087 01:13:15,743 --> 01:13:18,744 Can't help you, Gaye. It's against regulations. 1088 01:13:28,322 --> 01:13:31,457 Hey, why is our fuel level dropping precipitously? 1089 01:13:32,893 --> 01:13:34,327 I don't know. 1090 01:13:41,068 --> 01:13:42,468 Good night. 1091 01:13:47,341 --> 01:13:48,608 Donnie? 1092 01:13:58,752 --> 01:14:02,255 Dear Mom, sorry to sneak out, but I had to go find Dad. 1093 01:14:02,257 --> 01:14:04,223 I rigged the CD recording to start playing 1094 01:14:04,225 --> 01:14:06,359 when you picked up that blank piece of paper. 1095 01:14:06,361 --> 01:14:07,827 Hope it all worked. 1096 01:14:08,595 --> 01:14:10,029 Oh, my God. 1097 01:14:18,038 --> 01:14:21,440 Uh, Lar? We were supposed to start dinner service an hour ago. 1098 01:14:21,442 --> 01:14:23,909 Hey, I think we can wait a while. 1099 01:14:23,911 --> 01:14:27,346 Larry, you can't avoid facing the truth with your son forever. 1100 01:14:27,348 --> 01:14:30,149 He'll accept you whether you're a pilot 1101 01:14:30,151 --> 01:14:32,818 - or a flight attendant. -That's really great advice, Nate. 1102 01:14:32,820 --> 01:14:36,589 Sally, would you mind covering dinner in coach for me with Nathan here? 1103 01:14:36,591 --> 01:14:39,959 I'm just... I'm trying to avoid being seen. It's a long story. 1104 01:14:39,961 --> 01:14:41,193 But I was assigned to first class. 1105 01:14:41,195 --> 01:14:44,764 - Come on, have a heart. - But I don't have a heart. 1106 01:14:44,766 --> 01:14:47,433 - Do you have to take everything so literally? -Yes. 1107 01:14:53,173 --> 01:14:54,974 - Fine. Fine. - Dinner? 1108 01:14:58,346 --> 01:14:59,979 Must be a break in one of the lines. 1109 01:14:59,981 --> 01:15:02,948 According to this, we're losing fuel like crazy. 1110 01:15:02,950 --> 01:15:05,818 This is Federated Flight 37, we've got a situation. 1111 01:15:06,720 --> 01:15:08,454 Chicken and rice, please. 1112 01:15:11,558 --> 01:15:15,328 Uh, ma'am, we have baked ziti and chicken with wild rice. 1113 01:15:15,330 --> 01:15:17,330 Chicken and rice, please. -Dad? 1114 01:15:19,700 --> 01:15:22,001 - Oh. - Dad, are you really a pilot? 1115 01:15:22,003 --> 01:15:25,204 Yeah, I'm just helping out while the plane's on autopilot. 1116 01:15:25,206 --> 01:15:27,940 - Folks, we've just switched off autopilot, 1117 01:15:27,942 --> 01:15:30,376 we're expecting some possible turbulence. 1118 01:15:30,378 --> 01:15:33,813 Oh, that's Felder, my co-pilot, and I am his captain. 1119 01:15:33,815 --> 01:15:36,082 Uh... This is Captain Bryce, 1120 01:15:36,084 --> 01:15:37,683 just want to let you know you're in good hands 1121 01:15:37,685 --> 01:15:39,752 with me and my co-pilot, Felder, up here. 1122 01:15:39,754 --> 01:15:42,021 It's the two of us flying this plane, 1123 01:15:42,023 --> 01:15:45,224 definitely no one else in the cockpit. 1124 01:15:47,561 --> 01:15:48,728 Dad? 1125 01:15:49,629 --> 01:15:51,764 Oh, Son, you're too smart for me. 1126 01:15:51,766 --> 01:15:53,232 I'm... 1127 01:15:54,167 --> 01:15:56,001 I'm a... 1128 01:15:56,003 --> 01:15:57,336 I'm a flight attendant. 1129 01:15:59,172 --> 01:16:01,540 Why did you lie to me? 1130 01:16:01,542 --> 01:16:05,745 I just felt that if you knew, you'd judge me or think less of me. 1131 01:16:05,747 --> 01:16:07,113 I guess it was just my own insecurity. 1132 01:16:07,115 --> 01:16:08,381 I should have given you more credit. 1133 01:16:08,383 --> 01:16:10,282 You pussy! You're pathetic! 1134 01:16:10,284 --> 01:16:13,652 Okay, my dad's a waitress with wings. A sissy man. 1135 01:16:13,654 --> 01:16:15,988 Don't forget ass pansy. 1136 01:16:27,100 --> 01:16:29,168 Uh... 1137 01:16:29,771 --> 01:16:33,500 At this time, we'd like to ask flight attendant 1138 01:16:33,526 --> 01:16:36,375 Larry Gaye to report to the cockpit. 1139 01:16:36,377 --> 01:16:39,145 To all you passengers, nothing to worry about, 1140 01:16:39,147 --> 01:16:42,047 certainly no blown fuel lines or 1141 01:16:42,049 --> 01:16:43,816 anything of that nature. 1142 01:16:48,221 --> 01:16:50,222 Gaye, we think the main fuel line is blown, 1143 01:16:50,224 --> 01:16:53,025 and we might have to make an emergency landing. 1144 01:16:53,027 --> 01:16:56,929 And, well, neither of us have actually ever done one before. 1145 01:16:56,931 --> 01:16:59,565 And back in flight school, you were the best at it. 1146 01:16:59,567 --> 01:17:02,067 So, we're sorry. 1147 01:17:02,069 --> 01:17:04,403 You gotta help us, Larry. We're scared. 1148 01:17:04,405 --> 01:17:09,275 You spent all those years abusing me, and now, all of a sudden, you need me. 1149 01:17:09,277 --> 01:17:13,479 I don't know, guys, I mean, I'm just a lowly waitress with wings. 1150 01:17:13,481 --> 01:17:17,016 A sissy man, an ass pansy, if you will. 1151 01:17:17,018 --> 01:17:20,786 How could I possibly help you big, strong, superior pilots? 1152 01:17:20,788 --> 01:17:23,189 Look, we're sorry for all the stuff that we ever said. 1153 01:17:23,191 --> 01:17:24,857 Yeah, yeah, we never meant it. 1154 01:17:24,859 --> 01:17:27,359 You know, I do. I say these things sometimes. 1155 01:17:27,361 --> 01:17:29,028 - Well... - I don't know why. 1156 01:17:29,030 --> 01:17:32,731 - All right, it's okay. - I'm not a good person, Larry. 1157 01:17:32,733 --> 01:17:35,801 - I forgive you. Now... - My mom didn't hold me enough, 1158 01:17:35,803 --> 01:17:38,971 and when she did, it was always at a weird distance. 1159 01:17:38,973 --> 01:17:40,372 Like... 1160 01:17:41,508 --> 01:17:45,244 The way you'd hold a spool of barbed wire, 1161 01:17:45,246 --> 01:17:49,181 or an angry raccoon, not a lonely little boy. 1162 01:17:49,183 --> 01:17:53,085 Maybe to compensate, my grandmother was overly affectionate. 1163 01:17:53,087 --> 01:17:56,889 She would hold me tight against her ample bosom, 1164 01:17:56,891 --> 01:18:01,594 keep me nestled in there long after it became difficult to breathe. 1165 01:18:01,862 --> 01:18:03,295 And yet, 1166 01:18:04,464 --> 01:18:06,098 on one level, 1167 01:18:07,267 --> 01:18:09,468 I think I liked it. 1168 01:18:09,470 --> 01:18:12,404 She smelled like nutmeg. Autumn. 1169 01:18:13,707 --> 01:18:15,541 Okay, guys, listen, we need... 1170 01:18:15,543 --> 01:18:16,909 I once pleasured myself 1171 01:18:16,911 --> 01:18:19,945 to the image of my grandma jumping on a trampoline. 1172 01:18:23,049 --> 01:18:24,717 I will help land the plane. 1173 01:18:26,686 --> 01:18:27,920 Up. 1174 01:18:30,457 --> 01:18:35,861 Oh, but first, Captain Felder, I'll need a cup of coffee. 1175 01:18:35,863 --> 01:18:39,999 One sugar and just a skosh of cream. 1176 01:18:41,668 --> 01:18:44,403 Federated 37 to ground control. 1177 01:18:44,405 --> 01:18:46,805 Come in, Bryce. You got Herb Donkins here. 1178 01:18:46,807 --> 01:18:48,607 Actually, there's been a slight change, Herb. 1179 01:18:48,609 --> 01:18:50,809 From now on, the man you'll be talking to is Gaye. 1180 01:18:50,811 --> 01:18:54,113 Oh! Well, good for you, Bryce. Have you told your wife? 1181 01:18:54,115 --> 01:18:56,248 No, Larry Gaye. I'm a flight attendant, 1182 01:18:56,250 --> 01:18:57,883 and I'm gonna bring this bird down. 1183 01:18:57,885 --> 01:18:59,818 Well, that's against FAA rules. 1184 01:18:59,820 --> 01:19:04,423 Look, if you want these people on the ground in one piece, 1185 01:19:04,425 --> 01:19:08,193 then I'm bringing her down. Now, here's what I'm thinking. 1186 01:19:08,195 --> 01:19:10,846 If we have enough fuel to reach the ocean... 1187 01:19:10,872 --> 01:19:11,730 - Larry... 1188 01:19:11,732 --> 01:19:15,668 - What? Hello? Hello? - Larry? 1189 01:19:15,670 --> 01:19:18,003 Come in. Come in, damn it. 1190 01:19:18,005 --> 01:19:19,872 Okay, you don't have to yell. 1191 01:19:19,874 --> 01:19:21,674 I left room in case you want some more cream. 1192 01:19:21,676 --> 01:19:23,208 I can't hear a damn thing! 1193 01:19:23,210 --> 01:19:25,878 I said I left room in case you want to add some more cream! 1194 01:19:25,880 --> 01:19:27,346 Damn it! Where'd you go? 1195 01:19:27,348 --> 01:19:29,682 To get coffee, like you asked me to! 1196 01:19:31,284 --> 01:19:33,185 Would you like some Chardonnay? 1197 01:19:33,187 --> 01:19:36,021 - Or perhaps some Cabernet-Franc - What the hell is that? 1198 01:19:36,023 --> 01:19:38,657 It's a combination of Cabernet and Merlot, 1199 01:19:38,659 --> 01:19:42,161 pairs well with savory meats like pork, lamb. 1200 01:19:42,163 --> 01:19:43,729 The signals are crossed with the Flightpal. 1201 01:19:43,731 --> 01:19:44,997 That's why we've lost our radio. 1202 01:19:44,999 --> 01:19:46,879 Somebody's gotta take out the Flightpal. 1203 01:19:46,900 --> 01:19:48,834 Bryce, hold our course. 1204 01:19:48,836 --> 01:19:49,935 I'll be right back. 1205 01:19:56,242 --> 01:19:59,712 - Coffee smells good. - Don't touch anything. 1206 01:19:59,714 --> 01:20:01,580 Hey, Larry, what the hell is going on? 1207 01:20:01,582 --> 01:20:02,948 What's this about a blown fuel line? 1208 01:20:02,950 --> 01:20:04,049 No time to explain. 1209 01:20:11,759 --> 01:20:13,759 Take that, robot bitch. 1210 01:20:13,761 --> 01:20:15,761 Uh, Larry. 1211 01:20:15,763 --> 01:20:16,895 That's not her. 1212 01:20:16,897 --> 01:20:18,337 - No? - No. 1213 01:20:21,134 --> 01:20:22,701 There you are. 1214 01:20:22,703 --> 01:20:25,004 - May I help you? - Yes, you may. 1215 01:20:33,813 --> 01:20:36,281 I said power down all electronic devices. 1216 01:20:41,254 --> 01:20:43,188 Dad, what's goin' on? 1217 01:20:43,190 --> 01:20:45,591 Son, how would you like to come up to the cockpit 1218 01:20:45,593 --> 01:20:49,695 and watch your old man attempt an incredibly dangerous emergency landing? 1219 01:20:56,836 --> 01:21:00,506 This is Federated 37 to ground control. Come in, ground control. 1220 01:21:00,508 --> 01:21:03,175 Uh, we read you, Larry, but you're dropping like a stone. 1221 01:21:04,711 --> 01:21:06,812 According to our gauge, we have about 30 miles of air left. 1222 01:21:06,814 --> 01:21:08,814 We're about 30 miles from Los Angeles. 1223 01:21:08,816 --> 01:21:10,749 Then that's where we're going. 1224 01:21:10,751 --> 01:21:12,651 Can we get clearance at LAX? 1225 01:21:12,653 --> 01:21:15,087 Okay, we're gonna clear all runways. Take your pick. 1226 01:21:15,089 --> 01:21:19,124 Wait, um, would it make more sense to put the plane towards a less populated area, 1227 01:21:19,126 --> 01:21:21,193 in case we don't have enough fuel to make it? 1228 01:21:21,195 --> 01:21:23,629 Son, this is no time for naive questions. 1229 01:21:23,631 --> 01:21:26,098 It's time for heroic yet impulsive actions. 1230 01:21:26,100 --> 01:21:28,367 Now remember, every second... 1231 01:21:30,870 --> 01:21:33,372 - Larry? - Dad? 1232 01:21:36,609 --> 01:21:38,811 Yeah, he's, um... He's 13 years old, 1233 01:21:38,813 --> 01:21:40,512 and I think he's on one of your flights. 1234 01:21:40,514 --> 01:21:42,081 And in a bizarre turn of events, we've learned that 1235 01:21:42,083 --> 01:21:44,516 - a flight attendant is going to attempt... -Do you know Larry Gaye? 1236 01:21:44,518 --> 01:21:47,186 - He could be with him, right? - ...an emergency landing at LAX. 1237 01:21:47,188 --> 01:21:49,121 As this harrowing story develops, 1238 01:21:49,123 --> 01:21:52,157 we're joined by flight attendant Steven Slater. 1239 01:21:52,159 --> 01:21:53,625 Hi, Tanya, great to be here. 1240 01:21:53,627 --> 01:21:54,727 He's the former... 1241 01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:02,768 Cheese and crackers, how did we get so low? 1242 01:22:02,770 --> 01:22:04,136 You fell asleep. 1243 01:22:04,138 --> 01:22:06,105 Larry, you are eight miles from LAX. 1244 01:22:06,107 --> 01:22:07,806 How much fuel do you have left? 1245 01:22:07,808 --> 01:22:10,409 Uh, not eight miles' worth. 1246 01:22:10,411 --> 01:22:12,911 There's only one thing we can do. 1247 01:22:12,913 --> 01:22:15,114 - Urban Landing. - Don't be an idiot. 1248 01:22:15,116 --> 01:22:17,216 - It's far too risky. - It's never been done. 1249 01:22:19,018 --> 01:22:21,019 Nathan, I need you up here now. 1250 01:22:21,921 --> 01:22:23,589 Herb, we can't make it to the airport. 1251 01:22:23,591 --> 01:22:25,824 I'm going to bring her down in the city. 1252 01:22:25,826 --> 01:22:28,894 Passengers are kind of freakin' out back there. So I thought... 1253 01:22:28,896 --> 01:22:30,162 Get your priorities straight, Nathan. 1254 01:22:30,164 --> 01:22:31,997 This is gonna be huge. 1255 01:22:31,999 --> 01:22:33,432 Herb, did you read me? 1256 01:22:33,434 --> 01:22:35,300 We need to land in the city. 1257 01:22:35,302 --> 01:22:38,303 I am sorry, Larry. My shift is ending. 1258 01:22:38,305 --> 01:22:40,439 I'm gonna have to turn you over to Russ Peterson. 1259 01:22:40,441 --> 01:22:42,574 - Have a good one. - What? You can't do that. 1260 01:22:42,576 --> 01:22:45,577 Hey, Larry, Russ Peterson here. 1261 01:22:45,579 --> 01:22:48,547 Uh, okay, Russ, we're in a dire emergency. 1262 01:22:48,549 --> 01:22:51,083 - We're gonna run out of fuel any second. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1263 01:22:51,085 --> 01:22:52,785 Hold on, Larry, I just got here. 1264 01:22:52,787 --> 01:22:54,286 Give me a chance to settle in. 1265 01:22:54,288 --> 01:22:56,054 Okay, I'm just... 1266 01:22:56,056 --> 01:22:57,756 I'm taking my jacket off. 1267 01:22:57,758 --> 01:23:00,225 Hey, is that a birthday cake? Who's birthday is it? 1268 01:23:00,795 --> 01:23:05,664 Happy birthday, big thug. Come here, let me give you a hug. 1269 01:23:05,666 --> 01:23:08,167 Okay, I'm just going to grab myself a little cake here. 1270 01:23:19,012 --> 01:23:21,613 Okay, I'm back. Now, you were saying? 1271 01:23:21,615 --> 01:23:25,284 We're running out of fuel. I need to land this plane in Los Angeles. 1272 01:23:25,286 --> 01:23:28,487 - Larry, that's never... -I know, it's never, but I'm doing it now. 1273 01:23:28,988 --> 01:23:30,689 Son... 1274 01:23:30,691 --> 01:23:33,192 If we don't make it, I just want you to know, 1275 01:23:34,093 --> 01:23:36,195 - I love you. - We might not make it? 1276 01:23:36,197 --> 01:23:38,330 Of course we're going to make it. 1277 01:23:38,332 --> 01:23:40,332 - Huh, yeah - Yeah. 1278 01:23:42,101 --> 01:23:43,435 Just how good are you? 1279 01:23:44,470 --> 01:23:46,004 Damn, he's good. 1280 01:23:47,407 --> 01:23:49,274 You're a legend. 1281 01:23:49,276 --> 01:23:52,110 Just follow your dreams and go wherever they take you. 1282 01:23:52,812 --> 01:23:55,180 I have a private bunk 1283 01:23:55,182 --> 01:23:57,616 with the only bathtub in this whole facility. 1284 01:23:57,618 --> 01:24:02,054 Larry? Do you read me? -Okay. Roger, Russ. 1285 01:24:02,056 --> 01:24:04,556 This is Federated 37 heavy, coming in on 1286 01:24:04,558 --> 01:24:09,161 uncleared course 45, vector 16, bearing two-niner-zero. 1287 01:24:09,163 --> 01:24:10,295 Urban landing. 1288 01:24:10,297 --> 01:24:12,698 I repeat, urban landing. 1289 01:24:12,700 --> 01:24:14,433 Roger that, Captain Gaye. 1290 01:24:14,435 --> 01:24:17,236 Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. 1291 01:24:17,804 --> 01:24:19,571 Prepare for arrival. 1292 01:24:19,573 --> 01:24:22,574 Oh, and if we survive, baggage can be found on carousel 3. 1293 01:24:45,164 --> 01:24:47,032 Uh, do I have space? 1294 01:24:47,034 --> 01:24:48,967 Wait, wait, wait, after the minivan. 1295 01:24:57,410 --> 01:24:59,490 Uh, this guy's going to let us in. Thank you. 1296 01:25:11,324 --> 01:25:13,859 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1297 01:25:15,161 --> 01:25:17,362 Okay, okay, okay. 1298 01:25:17,964 --> 01:25:19,531 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! 1299 01:25:22,436 --> 01:25:25,370 Wheels down. Repeat, we have wheels on the ground. 1300 01:25:25,372 --> 01:25:27,506 Oh! Oh, thank God, Larry. 1301 01:25:27,508 --> 01:25:29,749 Completed an urban landing on a southbound freeway. 1302 01:25:34,447 --> 01:25:38,150 - Ah! You're one cool customer, Gaye. 1303 01:25:38,152 --> 01:25:40,485 I would've peed in my pants. 1304 01:25:40,487 --> 01:25:42,387 Ha! That's ridiculous. 1305 01:25:42,389 --> 01:25:45,090 Larry! Larry! Larry! 1306 01:25:48,461 --> 01:25:50,562 Dad, I'm sorry I thought 1307 01:25:50,564 --> 01:25:52,631 it was lame to be a flight attendant. 1308 01:25:52,633 --> 01:25:56,368 That's okay, Son. Look, if it's one thing that I teach you in this lifetime, 1309 01:25:56,370 --> 01:25:58,370 it's that, well, 1310 01:25:58,372 --> 01:26:02,174 it's that flight attendants pull every bit as much ass as pilots. 1311 01:26:03,276 --> 01:26:05,243 - Love you, Dad. - Thanks, Son. 1312 01:26:05,245 --> 01:26:06,645 Bring it here. 1313 01:26:10,183 --> 01:26:13,151 Okay, Lar, let's just get off at this exit, 1314 01:26:13,153 --> 01:26:14,987 and we can head back to the airport. 1315 01:26:14,989 --> 01:26:16,521 Not yet. 1316 01:26:16,523 --> 01:26:18,390 I got a stop to make first. 1317 01:27:06,105 --> 01:27:08,907 Uh, yep. There it is. 1318 01:27:39,272 --> 01:27:40,539 Donnie! 1319 01:27:43,843 --> 01:27:45,310 Cross your arms. 1320 01:27:58,992 --> 01:28:01,293 My goodness, Donnie! 1321 01:28:01,295 --> 01:28:03,462 Donnie, I was worried sick! 1322 01:28:09,469 --> 01:28:12,070 I'm sorry. I just really missed Dad. 1323 01:28:12,072 --> 01:28:15,340 Well, honey, you're gonna have to learn how to deal with that. 1324 01:28:15,342 --> 01:28:17,543 Daddy doesn't live here. His home is in the sky. 1325 01:28:18,111 --> 01:28:19,511 Go get into bed, okay? 1326 01:28:19,513 --> 01:28:21,113 Okay. 1327 01:28:25,051 --> 01:28:26,418 Bye, Dad. 1328 01:28:26,986 --> 01:28:28,320 Bye, Son. 1329 01:28:30,823 --> 01:28:32,524 Thanks for bringing him home. 1330 01:28:33,626 --> 01:28:35,227 Actually, 1331 01:28:35,229 --> 01:28:37,629 I did a little thinking up there, 1332 01:28:37,631 --> 01:28:40,932 while I was saving 200 people from a fiery death. 1333 01:28:42,001 --> 01:28:43,268 Yeah? 1334 01:28:43,270 --> 01:28:44,536 I thought about how, 1335 01:28:45,838 --> 01:28:49,241 of all the great times I've had in my life, 1336 01:28:49,243 --> 01:28:52,077 the greatest, the greatest, 1337 01:28:53,179 --> 01:28:54,646 was the time I spent with you. 1338 01:28:57,049 --> 01:28:58,717 Then why did you leave? 1339 01:28:58,719 --> 01:29:00,952 Because I was an idiot, 1340 01:29:00,954 --> 01:29:03,321 who thought that not being tied down 1341 01:29:03,323 --> 01:29:05,724 and going from woman to woman 1342 01:29:05,726 --> 01:29:07,759 to woman, to, in some cases, 1343 01:29:07,761 --> 01:29:10,362 - women, plural. - Go on. 1344 01:29:10,364 --> 01:29:12,330 Would be a fun, fulfilling lifestyle, 1345 01:29:12,332 --> 01:29:15,700 but the truth is, it was soulless and empty. 1346 01:29:15,702 --> 01:29:19,104 All that meaningless sex was just filling a hole. 1347 01:29:19,106 --> 01:29:20,739 And by hole, I don't mean vagina. 1348 01:29:20,741 --> 01:29:22,807 Or in some cases, I guess I do mean vagina. 1349 01:29:22,809 --> 01:29:23,975 I know what you mean. 1350 01:29:23,977 --> 01:29:25,210 April... 1351 01:29:26,479 --> 01:29:28,880 Is there any chance you could 1352 01:29:28,882 --> 01:29:30,415 see your way clear to 1353 01:29:30,417 --> 01:29:31,917 taking this idiot back? 1354 01:29:32,518 --> 01:29:35,153 Oh, gosh, Larry. 1355 01:29:35,155 --> 01:29:37,622 Did you really think you could just waltz back into my life 1356 01:29:37,624 --> 01:29:41,226 because you were finally ready and I'd be sitting here waiting for you? 1357 01:29:42,395 --> 01:29:43,995 Kind of, yeah. 1358 01:29:48,935 --> 01:29:50,268 Oh, no. 1359 01:29:51,170 --> 01:29:52,871 It's too late. 1360 01:29:52,873 --> 01:29:54,573 You've moved on. 1361 01:29:55,408 --> 01:29:56,708 You were the one thing in my life 1362 01:29:56,710 --> 01:29:58,076 that was real and true, 1363 01:29:58,078 --> 01:29:59,411 and I blew it. 1364 01:30:00,279 --> 01:30:01,913 Gah! 1365 01:30:01,915 --> 01:30:04,216 How could I have thought you would've waited for me? 1366 01:30:04,218 --> 01:30:06,384 Stupid Larry! Stupid Larry! 1367 01:30:07,820 --> 01:30:10,188 God, please, 1368 01:30:10,190 --> 01:30:13,491 let me drown in this ocean of despair. 1369 01:30:14,327 --> 01:30:16,061 Without this woman in my life, 1370 01:30:16,829 --> 01:30:18,897 I don't want to live. 1371 01:30:18,899 --> 01:30:20,765 I don't want to live! 1372 01:30:20,767 --> 01:30:22,300 Murphy bed's all fixed. 1373 01:30:22,302 --> 01:30:23,535 Thank you, Karl. 1374 01:30:24,971 --> 01:30:26,104 Oh. 1375 01:30:27,673 --> 01:30:29,274 Larry... 1376 01:30:29,276 --> 01:30:32,043 Listen, when you left and I never heard from you again, 1377 01:30:32,045 --> 01:30:33,979 that hurt me. 1378 01:30:33,981 --> 01:30:38,483 But when you left Donnie, that didn't just hurt me, that hurt him. 1379 01:30:38,485 --> 01:30:41,253 I know, and I didn't want to leave. 1380 01:30:42,755 --> 01:30:44,756 But I didn't believe I could be any better at fatherhood 1381 01:30:44,758 --> 01:30:46,725 than my own father was. 1382 01:30:47,860 --> 01:30:50,895 But then I landed that plane safely, 1383 01:30:50,897 --> 01:30:53,932 and I realized that I can take care of my son. 1384 01:30:53,934 --> 01:30:56,635 And being with him, and being with you, 1385 01:30:58,237 --> 01:31:00,805 that'll keep me on the ground for good. 1386 01:31:00,807 --> 01:31:02,727 So you'll really not fly anymore? 1387 01:31:06,946 --> 01:31:08,046 Oh! 1388 01:31:08,914 --> 01:31:10,982 Well, that is shockingly painful. 1389 01:31:10,984 --> 01:31:13,251 Like, more than I would have ever imagined. 1390 01:31:13,253 --> 01:31:15,620 Come here, Larry Elizabeth Gaye. 1391 01:31:15,622 --> 01:31:18,690 I'm coming, April Elizabeth Fornicowsky. 1392 01:31:18,692 --> 01:31:20,692 And by coming, I mean approaching, not ejaculating... 1393 01:31:20,694 --> 01:31:22,193 I know what you mean. 1394 01:31:26,699 --> 01:31:28,033 Aww! 1395 01:31:36,842 --> 01:31:39,177 Donnie! Donnie! 1396 01:31:42,748 --> 01:31:44,349 Daddy's staying. 1397 01:31:44,351 --> 01:31:46,284 - Really? - Yes, really. 1398 01:31:51,424 --> 01:31:53,625 It's okay, guys. You can go. 1399 01:32:21,520 --> 01:32:25,256 And so, I retired my apron, 1400 01:32:25,258 --> 01:32:28,993 leaving the door open for someone else to finally win 1401 01:32:28,995 --> 01:32:30,562 the Golden Coffee Pot. 1402 01:32:31,864 --> 01:32:34,566 And because of the way the wiring interfered with the plane's radios, 1403 01:32:34,568 --> 01:32:39,371 Federated Airlines was forced to abandon the Flightpal project. 1404 01:32:39,373 --> 01:32:42,073 Three weeks after that fateful flight, 1405 01:32:42,075 --> 01:32:45,076 I landed April, my beautiful bride 1406 01:32:45,078 --> 01:32:46,678 and mother of my wonderful, 1407 01:32:46,680 --> 01:32:50,248 and no longer bastard, son Donnie. 1408 01:32:50,250 --> 01:32:52,422 And the feeling of crushing empty loneliness 1409 01:32:52,448 --> 01:32:54,352 that dogged me through the years, well, 1410 01:32:54,354 --> 01:32:56,554 turned out to be a gluten allergy. 1411 01:32:56,556 --> 01:32:58,189 Six months later, I found myself 1412 01:32:58,191 --> 01:33:00,492 at a bookstore in downtown LA, 1413 01:33:00,494 --> 01:33:03,828 reading this last chapter of my book. 1414 01:33:03,830 --> 01:33:05,964 And then something unbelievable happened. 1415 01:33:06,799 --> 01:33:08,800 I looked up and saw... 1416 01:33:16,208 --> 01:33:17,308 Dad? 1417 01:33:22,715 --> 01:33:23,848 Dad! 1418 01:33:26,352 --> 01:33:27,685 It's me! 1419 01:33:30,623 --> 01:33:32,457 - Larry. - Larry. Larry. 1420 01:33:34,394 --> 01:33:36,461 You look wonderful, Son. 1421 01:33:38,164 --> 01:33:40,799 You too, Dad. 1422 01:33:40,801 --> 01:33:44,669 You must have come to ask my forgiveness for walking out all those years ago, 1423 01:33:44,671 --> 01:33:47,071 and to beg me to allow you back into my life. 1424 01:33:48,707 --> 01:33:52,343 That's exactly right, Larry, that's why I'm here. 1425 01:33:53,479 --> 01:33:56,314 Well, there was a time... 1426 01:33:56,316 --> 01:34:00,618 There was a time I would've told you to stick several unwieldy objects in your ass. 1427 01:34:02,121 --> 01:34:04,622 A porcupine, a six iron 1428 01:34:04,624 --> 01:34:06,558 a French horn, 1429 01:34:06,560 --> 01:34:08,126 ceramic pineapple. 1430 01:34:09,195 --> 01:34:10,395 But... 1431 01:34:11,797 --> 01:34:14,499 I've learned a little something about fatherhood. 1432 01:34:18,337 --> 01:34:19,504 So... 1433 01:34:20,706 --> 01:34:22,006 Whoo! 1434 01:34:22,775 --> 01:34:24,242 I forgive you, Dad. 1435 01:34:24,244 --> 01:34:25,644 - Oh... - Welcome back into my life. 1436 01:34:25,645 --> 01:34:27,045 Oh! 1437 01:34:27,047 --> 01:34:30,148 Thank God. Thank God! 1438 01:34:30,749 --> 01:34:32,150 Oh, that is... 1439 01:34:32,152 --> 01:34:34,819 - That is such a huge relief. - Oh! 1440 01:34:34,821 --> 01:34:36,087 I know. - Boy, oh, boy. 1441 01:34:36,089 --> 01:34:38,389 I know. 1442 01:34:38,391 --> 01:34:40,458 - For me, too. For me, too. - Yeah, yeah. 1443 01:34:42,094 --> 01:34:43,361 Uh... 1444 01:34:43,363 --> 01:34:45,563 You got to give me a second. I got to move my car. 1445 01:34:45,565 --> 01:34:47,665 - I'm double parked. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1446 01:34:48,902 --> 01:34:50,401 I'll be right back. 1447 01:34:50,403 --> 01:34:51,603 - You got it, Dad. - You got it. 1448 01:34:51,605 --> 01:34:52,737 You got it. 1449 01:34:52,739 --> 01:34:55,039 - You got it! 1450 01:35:01,747 --> 01:35:02,881 Ah! 1451 01:35:06,018 --> 01:35:09,454 I can't wait to resume my relationship with that guy. 1452 01:35:10,356 --> 01:35:11,422 Oh! 1453 01:35:12,458 --> 01:35:14,025 Uh... 1454 01:35:14,027 --> 01:35:16,728 Anyway, anyway... 1455 01:35:18,097 --> 01:35:20,665 Then I closed the book 1456 01:35:20,667 --> 01:35:22,333 to thunderous applause. 1457 01:35:28,007 --> 01:35:30,775 Uh, it said "thunderous applause." 1458 01:37:27,794 --> 01:37:29,527 - Four seems like plenty. - Fine.112429

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