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- ♪ Sound Girlz ♪- ♪ Girls ♪
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♪ We been eruptin' now ♪
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- ♪ Girls ♪- ♪ We can get ugly ♪
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- ♪ Trust me ♪- ♪ Girls ♪
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- ♪ Sound Girlzlaying one down ♪
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- President Lacey,I am absolutely horrified
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by my behavior last night.
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Underage drinking,
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destruction of campus property.
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I'm better than that,
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and I am determinedto make it right.
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This is a check for $2,000.
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- It's a starting point.My mom says we can go up to 10.
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- Leighton, you can'tbribe your way out of this.
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You threw a tequila bottleat a statue
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and chipped its pinky finger.
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Then, you beratedour campus security.
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Oh, I did not berate them.
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You called them, quote:
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"Wannabe copswith heinous personal style."
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That does sound like me.
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But in my defense,I was wasted.
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That doesn't help.
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You're getting 100 hoursof community service
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at the Essex CollegeWomen's Center.
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- What is a Women's Center?Is that like a Curves?
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- The Women's Center is...an inclusive collective
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for femalesand people of all genders,
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where they can organizefeminist activism
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and engage in conversationswith like-minded individuals.
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- Oh, no. A bunch of wokenobodies drinking green tea?
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Please, I would loveto hear some other options.
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There are no other options.
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I'll tell the Women's Centerto expect you.
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Thanks so much for coming in,Leighton.
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- Well, my family willno longer be donating
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to this institution.
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- You knowhow many Russian billionaires
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send their kids here?
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Three.
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We'll be fine.
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God damn it.
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- ♪ Hear what I'm saying,I understand ♪
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♪ And when I'm mad,I do the most ♪
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♪ I know I'm nice,I know I'm bad ♪
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♪ I do not brag,I do not boast ♪
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♪ Don't like my mouth,don't like 'em broke ♪
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♪ You got no bag,you gotta go ♪
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- ♪ That's my atty, I be ♪- [groans]
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Vermont Tinder is so weird.
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Why are all the guys hiking?
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This is pointless anyway.
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Nobody on hereever messages back.
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All right, hand it over.
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Let's seewhat you're working with.
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[laughs]Bela, what the actual fuck?
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This is why no one'smessaging you back.
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You don't even say hi.You start every conversation
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with the words "shirtless pic"and a question mark.
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- Look, I was a nuclear loserin high school, so excuse me.
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For once, I want to date a guywith sick, ripped, tasty abs
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like...Zac Efron "Baywatch" abs.
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- Oh, Efron should notbe your ideal abs.
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There are way better.
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Goslingin "Crazy, Stupid, Love."
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Oh.
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- Michael B.in "Black Panther."
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- Ooh!- Michael B. in "Creed."
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- [both moan]- You know who I bet has abs?
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- Beto O'Rourke.- Oh, I bet he does.
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- You actually might beonto something with that one.
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[door shuts]
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- This has beenthe worst morning of my life.
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- Oh, my God, did they cancelyour reservation at Mar-a-Lago?
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- No, I have to volunteer.[scoffs]
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Wait, I like volunteering.
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- Yeah.Also, what is that smell?
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- [sniffing]- What? Really?
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Okay, how do none of yousmell that?
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- Well, I thought someonewas trying new perfume,
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and I didn't want to be rude.
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- I think it's coming from--
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- Yep.- [gags]
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Did one of you, like,shit in the fridge?
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- Okay, listen, I think we allknow whose fault this must be.
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What, me?
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That's racist somehow.
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The smell's probably comingfrom Leighton's weird,
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refrigerated cosmetics.
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- I actually stoppedputting them in there
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after I found Cheeto dustin my eye cream.
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- Oh, and I guessyou're insinuating
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that I was responsiblefor that too.
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I was.That one was me.
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But I didn'tmake the fridge stink.
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- All right.I have to go to practice,
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but we will figure out who'sresponsible for this later,
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and that personwill be the one to clean it.
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- Agree?- Mm-hmm.
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- Great.- Aw, man!
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I really think the smellgot into my hair.
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[upbeat music]
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- I can't believe you'regetting tutored by Nico today!
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What are you gonna wear?
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- This.- Ha! Right.
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- No, I'm reallygonna wear this.
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A denim jacket?
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Are you outof your fucking mind?
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You're getting tutoredby a hot guy.
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You're not getting a jobat Applebee's.
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Bela, I'm already nervous.
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Can you not tell me I look bad?
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Okay. It'll be fine.
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You got big boobs.
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Just, you know,push them out a lot.
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Like this?
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- Yeah, girl!Just like that.
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Actually,I'm gonna try that too.
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♪ ♪
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Great practice, ladies.
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And I don't wantto get ahead of things,
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but we could have a shot
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at finally makingthe tournament this year,
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thanks to ournew first-year talent.
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All right,now in terms of strategy,
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You mids, don't kickthe ball forward.
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We're going for possession,all right?
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♪ ♪
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- Oh, you lookso fucking hot today.
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You too.
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[ringtone chiming]
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[phone clicks]
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- [ringtone chiming]- I have to answer this.
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It's Michelle, and two callsmeans an emergency.
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- Yeah.- Oh, God. It's a FaceTime.
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It's connecting.Hide! Hide!
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[shakily]Hey!
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- Hey, babe. I'm outside.- Sorry. You're what?
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[bats clang]
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What? What was that?
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- I'm, uh--I'm countingthe aluminum bats
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like I always do.Did you say you're here?
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- Yeah. Yeah, we haveto go get the credenza
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that I bought in Cos Cob.You remember?
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- I didn't realizewe bought that.
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I thought we were stickingwith our current hutch.
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No, we're getting a new one.
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Hey, is your shirt off?
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- Oh, yeah. I spilleda bunch of soup on it.
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It doesn't matter.I'll see you out there.
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Cool.
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- Look, I don't knowwhat a credenza is,
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but it doesn't sound likesomething you buy
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if you're aboutto end your marriage.
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- Look, Michelle and Ihave been together
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for six years.I need to find
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the right momentand do this in a kind way.
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- Fine, but just so you know,I don't love this.
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The only time I condonecheating is on "Love Island."
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I love you.
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What?
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- Oh...- [chuckles]
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Just go buy your hutch thing.
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[light acoustic guitar music]
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♪ ♪
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- Vrai.- "Fray."
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No, look at my mouth.
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Watch what I'm doingwith my lips.
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♪ ♪
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Vrai.
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[sensual music]
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- Hello?- Sorry.
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Um, vrai.
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- That's it.- Okay.
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- Yeah,you're improving already.
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How did you get so fluent?
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- When I was little, we hadthis au pair named Camille
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from Marseille.
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She practically raised me'cause my mom was always, uh,
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actually, who knowswhat she was doing.
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Oh, I totally get that.
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Both my parents worked a lot,
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so I spent all my timewith my nana.
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One time, she had a strokewhile we were doing a puzzle.
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But your story's a lot cuter,so tell me more about Camille.
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[laughter]
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- Uh, Camille wasthe fucking best.
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She'd make me chicken nuggets,and we'd sit together
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and watch her favorite FrenchTV show, "Les Craquantes."
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That sounds very fancy.
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- It was a dubbed versionof "The Golden Girls."
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Oh.
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- The first word I learnedin French was "ménopause."
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Ménopause.
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- Oui, ménopause.[phone chimes]
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- I just wanna thank you againfor doing this.
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It's really nice.
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Yeah, don't mention it.
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- Oh, but before I forget.- Yeah.
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Can you sign this?
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If I do enough tutoring hours,I get an extra half-credit
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towards my minor.
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- Oh, you get creditfor tutoring.
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Is that okay?
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- Totally okay.Of course, of course.
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This was simply transactional.I get it.
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♪ ♪
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Mmm, young Stalin can get it!
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Right?
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Dude could've beenon "Riverdale."
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[dramatic music]
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♪ ♪
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♪ I need a hero ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ It could-- ♪
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Hi, I'm Bela.
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Like in "Twilight,"but Indian.
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[chuckles]
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Cool.
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[upbeat music]
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- I love that Susan B. Anthonyis being honored
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in the Essex Portrait Gallery.
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I'm just saying,the artist clearly enhanced
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the size of her breasts.
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- Maybe it's symbolicof her female power.
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- Or maybeshe actually had a huge rack.
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How would we know?
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[indistinct chatter]
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Hey. I'm Leighton.
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I got caught underage drinking.
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That's why I have to work here.
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- I'm Ginger.She, her, hers.
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- Lindsay.She, her, hers.
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- Alicia.She, her, hers.
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- Tova.They, them, theirs.
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Hmm.
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Oh, right. Sure.
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Well, I'm she.Obviously.
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Cool.
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I oversee all the volunteers.
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- Oh, great.Should we talk scheduling?
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Um, I was thinking thatI would work mornings
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from 9:30 to 10:15-ish,
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and then, you know,round that up to an hour,
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for timesheet purposes.
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- Yeah,that's not how this works.
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I'll tell youwhen we need help,
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and that's when you'll be here.
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Like tomorrowfrom 5:00 to 10:00,
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you'll be helping withour feminist poetry group.
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- As tempting as that sounds,I'm kind of busy on Fridays.
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Shit, I didn't realize that.
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Maybe we should justshut down the whole place
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till you're free.
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Okay, I am from New York,
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so I can tellthat you're being sarcastic.
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- Hey, this is, uh,getting a little tense.
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I'm gonna hitthe Safe Space Bell.
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- [bell dings]- What?
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It's a bell that we hit
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when we think it'd be goodto have a safe space.
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- Uh, isn't this alreadya safe space?
263
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,116
[ding]Okay.
264
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,617
I'm just sayingthat maybe we've gotten
265
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,185
a little bit too sensitiveas a society
266
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:15,021
if even a safe space isn't--[ding]
267
00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:17,924
- Oh, my God!- It's all good, Ginger.
268
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:21,193
What we do here, whetherit seems stupid to you or not,
269
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,929
really does help people.
270
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:25,932
So we're not looking for yourfeedback at the moment, okay?
271
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:29,302
Oh, and don't sayyour pronouns are obvious.
272
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,803
That makes you suck.
273
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,805
Suggesting that you don't haveto use your pronouns
274
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:34,440
when other people domakes you sound like
275
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,808
a really dumb, cis bitch.
276
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,944
[ding]I heard it, Ginger!
277
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:40,146
Welcome to the Women's Center,Leighton.
278
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,881
See you at poetry night.
279
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:44,617
[punchy music]
280
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,219
- Hi. My mom sayswe can go up to 20,000.
281
00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:49,922
- You're doing thecommunity service, Leighton.
282
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,824
Grow from pain.
283
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,659
♪ ♪
284
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:54,927
[knocks on door]
285
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:57,296
- Girls, I havea delicate matter.
286
00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:59,231
There have been some complaints
287
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:02,301
about a...stenchcoming from your room.
288
00:10:02,401 --> 00:10:04,670
But there's no needto be embarrassed.
289
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,139
This happens to one suiteevery year.
290
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:08,641
What does?
291
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:10,610
Oh, my God.We're the smelly suite.
292
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,511
- No, that "we"better not include me.
293
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,146
Okay, who complained?
294
00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:16,649
- Sorry, Leighton.All complaints are anonymous.
295
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:17,950
I cannot name names.
296
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,318
- I can!It was me.
297
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:22,188
It smells likea tooth abscess in here.
298
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,190
It's so badthat nobody showed up
299
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,858
to my murder-mystery partylast night.
300
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,693
- Yeah, Travis.I'm sure that's related.
301
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,129
- Well, thank you, Frude, forbringing this to our attention.
302
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,631
We're gonna chat about itas a group,
303
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:33,199
- and we'll get it all fixed.- Okey-dokey.
304
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,533
- Yes.- That's a good enough
305
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,702
- resolution for you?- Yeah.
306
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,871
We're throwing thatfucking fridge out, now.
307
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,806
- No, that wasmy high school graduation gift.
308
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:42,775
- That is the saddest sentenceI have ever heard.
309
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,010
Look, I don't care.
310
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,311
I will not have a reputation
311
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,812
as a smelly suite girl.
312
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:48,547
- The fridge has to go.- We can just clean it.
313
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,449
And since we don't knowwho created the smell--
314
00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:51,784
- It was Bela.- Bela.
315
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,654
- Offensive!Offensive conjecture.
316
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,056
- Why don't we allclean it out together tonight?
317
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,525
It could be like a fungroup bonding experience.
318
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,227
I genuinely wish I could.
319
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:04,030
- I have a women's center thing.- Yeah, I can't either.
320
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:05,898
I'm gonna get pipedby a guy with abs tonight.
321
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,299
- "Piped"?- Yeah, piped.
322
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:09,301
Railed. Torn up.Slit-slammed.
323
00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:11,404
- "Slit-slammed"?Bela, Jesus Christ!
324
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,540
- What?It's how people talk.
325
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,741
- What? Nope.- It's me.
326
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,743
- You wish.- All right.
327
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,545
[both groan]
328
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:22,915
- Yes!Ha, I beat you again.
329
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,417
I let you win.
330
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,919
- By being out of shape.- Yeah.
331
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,755
So how was, um,picking up the credenza?
332
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:33,592
- Oh, man, Whit, I cannot waitto show you how ugly it is.
333
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,094
- I took a picture.- Yeah.
334
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,929
- It is so bad.- Wait.
335
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,397
Do you have me savedin your phone
336
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:40,099
as "Steven Kim Accountant"?
337
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,501
- Yeah, this way,if Michelle sees a text pop up,
338
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:44,070
she won't suspect anything.
339
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:47,039
And who's "Honey Bunny"?
340
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,941
That's Michelle.
341
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,010
- Dude, are youfucking kidding me?
342
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:54,113
She's "Honey Bunny,"and I'm an imaginary Asian CPA?
343
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,414
That's perfect.
344
00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:57,349
Look, I don't knowhow much longer
345
00:11:57,416 --> 00:11:59,385
I can keepsneaking around like this.
346
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,387
Does none of this bother you?
347
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,888
Of course, it does.
348
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:04,623
I have this unbelievably cool
349
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,125
and beautiful personin my life,
350
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,860
and I can't tell anyoneabout it?
351
00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:10,396
It's terrible.It sucks.
352
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,298
- I just want usto go on a date.
353
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,133
Like an actual date,
354
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,768
not likea "let's make out in my car
355
00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:17,436
behind this Best Buy" date.
356
00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:18,871
Some of my fondest memories
357
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,372
are in thatBest Buy parking lot with you.
358
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,141
There's some beautiful stuffhappening there.
359
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,643
- I'm not in the mood to jokearound about this right now.
360
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:29,415
All right.
361
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,150
Race you back to campus?
362
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,253
- No, uh, I'm gonna gotake a solo run.
363
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,323
[light instrumental music]
364
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:41,660
♪ ♪
365
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,329
- So is there somethinggoing on between you
366
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,765
- and the hot French tutor?- No.
367
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,067
Why? Did he ask about meor something
368
00:12:48,134 --> 00:12:49,735
when he ordered his coffeeyesterday?
369
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,670
- Yeah. He--
370
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,173
He asked meif you were seeing anyone.
371
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:55,474
Stop.
372
00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:56,509
Nah, he didn't.
373
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,110
He couldn't care less.
374
00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:00,412
But maybe he will, 'causehe's walking in right now.
375
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:01,847
- Oh, ha ha!That's so funny.
376
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,783
Yeah, I'm surehe's walking in right now.
377
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:06,018
- Hey!- How's it going?
378
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,920
- Uh, I'm just working.Nothing much.
379
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:10,456
Definitely not talkingabout anything specific.
380
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:15,294
- You have a faceto write songs about.
381
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,530
Thank you.
382
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,266
- So, what brings you in?Did you want a drink?
383
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:22,802
Or a café au lait?
384
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,937
Hey, good pronunciation.
385
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,505
But no, I just stopped into see you.
386
00:13:26,605 --> 00:13:28,307
I was thinking,for our next tutoring session,
387
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:29,875
we could watch "Golden Girls"in French,
388
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,443
the way I learnedwith my au pair.
389
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,778
Maybe tonight?
390
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,446
Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
391
00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:37,316
I think that sounds botheducational and entertaining.
392
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,318
You're such a good tutor.
393
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:42,121
- Great. I'll see you tonight.- Okay.
394
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:45,891
- You're staring at his butt.- Lila! God!
395
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,493
- The idea of sittingthrough a musical
396
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,395
makes me wantto light myself on fire.
397
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:52,064
Which I did once to get out ofan Indian thing with my family.
398
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,033
[laughs]
399
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,634
Hey, do you want anythingfrom inside?
400
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,303
- Nah, I'm good.- You sure?
401
00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:59,805
- Actually, could you get mea mug of dry Cap'n Crunch?
402
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:03,642
[laughs]
403
00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:05,344
Dude, are youfucking seeing this?
404
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,912
I'm slaying this date so hard!
405
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,148
- Girl, he's laughingat everything you're saying.
406
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:10,916
And you're not evenbeing funny.
407
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,852
- I'm finally gonna hook upwith a guy with abs.
408
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:16,088
- Wait, you never hooked upwith a guy with abs before?
409
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,256
Have you?
410
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,992
Honey, I pull.
411
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,327
Hey.
412
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,698
Dude.
413
00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:28,200
Here you go.
414
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,102
Two chicken breasts.
415
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:33,172
- Must be cheat day.- [laughing]
416
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,674
[percussive music]
417
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:37,610
"Happy Father's Day.
418
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,078
"Dad,
419
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:43,349
"thanks for alwaysprotecting me from spiders,
420
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,217
"from nightmares,
421
00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:50,055
from feeling respectedas a woman."
422
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:52,558
[snapping]
423
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,760
"My nipples are my own.
424
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:57,363
But will theyever truly be free?"
425
00:14:57,429 --> 00:15:01,200
- "Oh, beautiful,disgracious skies.
426
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:04,803
- For amber waves of pain!"- Yeah.
427
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,606
- Leighton, stop filmingpeople without their consent.
428
00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:10,042
Yes, Warden.
429
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,577
- Are you seriouslygetting drunk
430
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,978
at an eventthat you're working
431
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,647
because you were caughtgetting drunk?
432
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,482
Yep.
433
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,950
- [scoffs]- Ridiculous.
434
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,985
- I figure,if it's okay with you,
435
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,154
I'll sing a few songs tonight.
436
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,956
This first one is about a woman
437
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:27,293
who deserves more lovethan she gets.
438
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,494
Mother Nature.
439
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:32,932
♪ The meadows so cloverly ♪
440
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:36,735
♪ Awakening my ovaries ♪
441
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,805
- ♪ Awakening my ovaries ♪- [snorts]
442
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:41,140
- Leighton,what the actual fuck?
443
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,509
♪ And beating like a drum ♪
444
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,910
[laughing]
445
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:47,246
That's it.
446
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:50,015
I'm not signing offon any of your hours tonight.
447
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,351
- What?Wait, you can't do that.
448
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,487
I deserve double hoursfor sitting through this shit.
449
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:58,657
- Why?All you did was drink wine.
450
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,326
And eat very noisy snacks!
451
00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:03,262
- But I was here.- I don't care.
452
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:06,365
You know, you just wastedthree hours of your own life.
453
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,501
Zero down.100 to go.
454
00:16:11,603 --> 00:16:14,773
- ♪ You contradictyour appeal ♪
455
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:18,344
♪ And my affection for youwanes, baby ♪
456
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,312
♪ ♪
457
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,814
May I?
458
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,683
Yeah, sure.
459
00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,051
Wow!
460
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,120
They are just incredible.
461
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,622
♪ ♪
462
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:33,192
- Do you want to have sex, or--- Uh, in a--in a second.
463
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:34,526
I just want to look at youfor a bit.
464
00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:37,463
- Really burn the image in.- Right.
465
00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:39,631
- Okay, I'm ready.- Oh, wow.
466
00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:42,334
[both moaning]
467
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,336
♪ ♪
468
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:45,571
You're so fucking hot.
469
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,007
- [chuckles]You're so fucking funny.
470
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:49,975
♪ ♪
471
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:51,176
You're so fucking hot.
472
00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:52,845
You're so fucking funny.
473
00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:55,581
You're so fucking hot.
474
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,716
- Yeah,you're so fucking funny.
475
00:16:57,816 --> 00:16:59,385
He's a chucklefucker.
476
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,419
- A what?- Huh?
477
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,254
A chucklefucker.
478
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,889
He only likes me'cause I'm funny.
479
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:06,592
- I don't think that's a word.- Or, like, a thing.
480
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:07,926
- He mustfind you attractive too.
481
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,228
No one sleeps with someone
482
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:10,763
just becausethey think they're funny.
483
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,097
Oh, really, Whitney?
484
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,866
Then explain whyI masturbate to Kyle Mooney.
485
00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:15,734
- Bela, stop telling mewhat you masturbate to.
486
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:18,037
- Wait, I thought you wantedpeople to think you were funny.
487
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:19,838
- No, not whenI also want him to think
488
00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:22,007
I'm a RiRi-level hot bitch.
489
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:24,676
I told him he reminded meof David Beckham,
490
00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:27,346
and he told meI reminded him of Larry David.
491
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:30,182
- I'm confused. Larry David'sa lot funnier than you.
492
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:32,684
- Speaking of David Beckham,we won our game.
493
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:34,853
I scored two goals and hadan assist, no big deal.
494
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,288
Whitney was so good!
495
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,223
And I tried to start a wavein the stands,
496
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,792
but there weren'tenough people.
497
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,127
- Yeah.- So what am I supposed to do?
498
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:44,430
- Damn, we got backto your thing real quick.
499
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,465
- Honestly, Bela, I don'tthink this is such a bad thing.
500
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:49,435
You like him for his abs, helikes you because you're funny.
501
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:51,303
You both haveyour really specific reasons.
502
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,605
- Yeah, but I'm a romantic,so I want us to like each other
503
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:55,908
for the same, specific reason:that we're both insatiably
504
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,543
into each other's hot facesand bods.
505
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,278
- I feel likethere's a clear lesson
506
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:01,480
you should be learning here,and you're not grasping it.
507
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,916
- Yeah, you're right.The lesson is clear.
508
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:05,150
I've gotto break it off with him.
509
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,485
I've got to findan even hotter guy
510
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,153
and not be myself around him.
511
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,788
- Nope.That was not the lesson.
512
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:10,889
Thanks for the talk, guys.
513
00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:15,461
♪ ♪
514
00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:18,564
- I really like Bela, but if Ihad to share a room with her,
515
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:19,731
I'd drown myself.
516
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:20,999
[chuckles]
517
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,434
Where are youtaking the cheesecake?
518
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:23,836
Oh, it's a long story.
519
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,805
It's an inside jokebetween Nico and me.
520
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:28,173
- Does Leighton knowhow much time
521
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,175
you've been spendingwith her brother?
522
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,344
- No, but there'sreally nothing to tell.
523
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,012
He's just tutoring me.
524
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,981
Although maybe don'tsay anything to Leighton.
525
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:37,449
- Sure.- Okay.
526
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,184
- I'll see you later.- Have fun with the team.
527
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,752
- Thanks.[phone chimes]
528
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:46,191
[phone rings]
529
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:49,361
- Hey.- Where are you right now?
530
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,197
- On my way to meet up withthe team to celebrate our win.
531
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,700
- Okay, first off,you played like a star,
532
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,268
and getting wastedwith your friends
533
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,836
is totally appropriate.
534
00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:01,039
And also, I thinkyou should blow the team off.
535
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,774
And why should I do that?
536
00:19:02,841 --> 00:19:04,977
- I've been thinking aboutwhat you said the other night,
537
00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:06,445
about how we haven't hada real date.
538
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:07,846
And I think you're right,
539
00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:10,149
so let's do it.
540
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:11,350
- Right now?- Yeah.
541
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:12,551
I knowit's kind of last minute,
542
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,052
but I have a surprise for you.
543
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,121
- A bigger surprise thanfinding out you have a wife?
544
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:17,656
- Seriously?You're gonna weaponize
545
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:20,025
the joyful word "surprise"like that?
546
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,827
I'll pick you upoutside your dorm in ten.
547
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,363
Just bundle upand bring bug spray.
548
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,165
- Bug spray?- It's gonna be fun!
549
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,967
Just forget I said "bug spray."
550
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:30,402
Long underwear might be smart.
551
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,171
Bro, it's getting worse.
552
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,039
- It's gonna be great.Just let me do my thing.
553
00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:35,474
I'll see you soon.
554
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,546
Bug spray.
555
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,549
[romantic music]
556
00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:50,389
♪ ♪
557
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,425
- ♪ When you feelthe time is right ♪
558
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,694
♪ You better let goand live it up ♪
559
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,730
♪ When you feelthe time is right ♪
560
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,434
- Oh, hi.Is Nico home?
561
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,937
- Nah, I think he's watchingthe basketball game
562
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,205
at Braden's.
563
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,674
- Who?- You don't know Braden?
564
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:11,843
That's weird.You kind of look like him.
565
00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:13,946
- Uh, okay.Thanks.
566
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,181
- Hey, you don't also havea Postmates order
567
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:18,217
from Quiznos, do you?
568
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:19,618
I do not.
569
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,520
[sighs]
570
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:23,422
She wasn't Quiznos.[sad murmurs]
571
00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:29,928
[phone buzzes]
572
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:31,396
Hey. What's up?
573
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:33,632
Hey. I'm at Theta Delt.
574
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,701
Oh, cool.
575
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:39,805
- Uh, yeah.Except you're not here.
576
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,640
Aw, shit.
577
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,309
I'm so sorry.I totally forgot.
578
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,744
The "Golden Girls" thing.
579
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:46,912
Ugh.
580
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:49,815
Uh, can we do itsome other time?
581
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,250
- Um, yeah.For sure.
582
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,986
I have other thingsto do tonight anyway.
583
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,221
All right. Sorry.
584
00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:57,656
Uh, bye.
585
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,326
[sighs]
586
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:04,329
[somber music]
587
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:11,503
♪ ♪
588
00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:26,852
All right.
589
00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:29,855
- You better notbe murdering me.
590
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,290
I will be so pissed.
591
00:21:31,356 --> 00:21:32,591
Oh, come on.
592
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:34,760
- Thank you.- Okay. Watch your step.
593
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,329
All right.
594
00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:43,702
♪ ♪
595
00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:47,205
Well?
596
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,174
What am I looking at?
597
00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:51,977
- It's a romanticoutdoor movie night!
598
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,479
Just you and mein the middle of nowhere.
599
00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:57,449
"Love & Basketball" queued upon the projector.
600
00:21:57,516 --> 00:22:00,852
- That is my favorite movie.- I know. I did my research.
601
00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:02,888
All right.Let me show you to your seat.
602
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:05,057
- Ooh.- All right.
603
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,658
- Just--- Oh, okay.
604
00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:09,061
- Emergency exits are this wayin the woods,
605
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,529
and the other way in the woods.
606
00:22:10,629 --> 00:22:13,031
And the lavatories areanywhere you want.
607
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:14,333
This is very cute.
608
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:15,834
I know.
609
00:22:18,236 --> 00:22:19,471
- You ready?- Okay.
610
00:22:21,206 --> 00:22:25,410
Okay, now, cell phones offfor the duration of the movie.
611
00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:27,412
- Mm-hmm.- Tonight is just about you,
612
00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:30,382
and me, and the present threatof Lyme disease.
613
00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:33,385
[romantic music]
614
00:22:33,485 --> 00:22:35,220
♪ ♪
615
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,823
[sighs]
616
00:22:37,889 --> 00:22:39,691
- Look, I know you're in chargeor whatever,
617
00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:41,660
but I really thinkit would benefit you
618
00:22:41,727 --> 00:22:43,662
to take thingsa little less seriously.
619
00:22:43,729 --> 00:22:46,264
- Oh, it would, huh?- Yeah, okay.
620
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:49,000
Like, if you didn't notice thesong that girl sang was beyond
621
00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:51,370
terrible, then I am genuinelykind of worried about you.
622
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:53,605
- Of course,I knew it was terrible.
623
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:57,342
If she was good, she wouldn'tbe playing the Women's Center!
624
00:22:57,409 --> 00:22:59,277
- Uh, yes.I agree!
625
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,413
- Look, can some ofthese people be intolerable?
626
00:23:01,513 --> 00:23:03,014
Holy shit, yes.
627
00:23:03,081 --> 00:23:05,384
But instead of being rude,I act like a normal person.
628
00:23:05,450 --> 00:23:08,920
I smile to their face,and then I mock them privately.
629
00:23:09,020 --> 00:23:11,223
Could you maybe try that?
630
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:12,624
All right.
631
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,193
All right, I will tryto be less of a, um--
632
00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:16,595
Oh, God.What did you call it?
633
00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:18,096
- A dumb, cis bitch.- A dumb, cis bitch.
634
00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:20,432
- Right. That's the one.- Might be hard, though.
635
00:23:20,532 --> 00:23:24,302
Wait till October when Gingerstarts talking about her coven.
636
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,037
What the fuck is a coven?
637
00:23:27,205 --> 00:23:30,142
[singing in French]
638
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:33,779
♪ ♪
639
00:23:33,879 --> 00:23:34,980
[door opens]
640
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,548
Hey, what are you doing?
641
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:38,083
Um, nothing.
642
00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,218
- I thought we were gonnaclean that together tomorrow.
643
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:43,054
- It's fine.I needed the distraction.
644
00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:44,790
- Anything you wantto talk about?
645
00:23:46,124 --> 00:23:47,826
- I just got my hopes upabout a guy
646
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:50,495
and wasted 25 buckson a cake.
647
00:23:51,496 --> 00:23:54,399
What about you? Did youbreak up with your abs boy?
648
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:57,235
- Yeah, I told himit wasn't working.
649
00:23:57,302 --> 00:23:59,571
But then he was doing pull-ups,so we had sex one more time.
650
00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:01,440
I don't know.I might just keep doing it.
651
00:24:01,506 --> 00:24:03,575
- It's good.- Okay.
652
00:24:03,642 --> 00:24:06,478
- So tell me: what heinous foodwas causing the smell?
653
00:24:06,578 --> 00:24:09,281
- All of it.It was unplugged.
654
00:24:09,347 --> 00:24:11,016
Oh, shit.
655
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:13,518
I totally unplugged itfor Travis' airbrush machine.
656
00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:17,189
I hate that this was my faultand it wasn't racism.
657
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,990
[sighs]
658
00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:21,493
- You wanna watch TV and eatan entire cheesecake with me?
659
00:24:21,593 --> 00:24:23,662
- Let's do it.That looks good.
660
00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:25,764
Right?
661
00:24:25,831 --> 00:24:27,199
[giggles]
662
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:32,204
This is the single best dateI have ever been on.
663
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:33,271
Me too.
664
00:24:33,338 --> 00:24:35,207
[phone chimes]
665
00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:39,778
- Just check your phone.We both heard it.
666
00:24:46,351 --> 00:24:48,487
- [ascending tone]- Wanna read it?
667
00:24:57,796 --> 00:24:59,664
You're serious?
668
00:24:59,731 --> 00:25:01,500
- This is real.- Mm-hmm.
669
00:25:01,566 --> 00:25:04,503
[hopeful music]
670
00:25:04,569 --> 00:25:11,676
♪ ♪
671
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,880
Okay.
672
00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:16,481
I'll see you tomorrow.
673
00:25:16,548 --> 00:25:18,149
See you tomorrow.
674
00:25:18,216 --> 00:25:24,823
♪ ♪
675
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:26,825
- ♪ A happy mistakefor strangers ♪
676
00:25:26,892 --> 00:25:29,594
[door opens, shuts]
677
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:36,535
- Hey.- Hey.
678
00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:40,438
Uh, I got your text.
679
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:44,109
What is this important thingyou want to talk about?
680
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:45,410
Oh, I'm so dumb.
681
00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:47,345
I meant to send thatto Coach Woods.
682
00:25:47,412 --> 00:25:49,347
It was just some soccer stuff.
683
00:25:52,117 --> 00:25:53,919
- Okay.- Ready for bed?
684
00:25:55,887 --> 00:25:58,089
♪ I don't want to be alone ♪
685
00:25:58,189 --> 00:26:00,692
♪ ♪
686
00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:03,028
♪ Don't want to be down ♪
687
00:26:03,094 --> 00:26:05,630
♪ ♪
688
00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:07,532
♪ I don't want to come down ♪
689
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:10,368
♪ ♪
690
00:26:10,435 --> 00:26:12,804
♪ I don't want to be alone ♪
691
00:26:12,904 --> 00:26:15,407
♪ ♪
692
00:26:15,473 --> 00:26:18,543
♪ Don't want to be found ♪
693
00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:22,147
♪ Until the dawn ♪
694
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:25,150
♪ ♪
695
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:28,587
♪ I don't want to be down ♪
696
00:26:28,653 --> 00:26:32,591
♪ Oh, feel the rush ♪
697
00:26:32,657 --> 00:26:34,893
♪ ♪
698
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,996
♪ I don't want to be lost ♪
699
00:26:38,096 --> 00:26:41,800
♪ That's stay up ♪
700
00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:44,736
♪ ♪
701
00:26:44,803 --> 00:26:48,239
♪ And I don't wantto come down ♪
702
00:26:48,306 --> 00:26:52,911
♪ Feel the rush ♪
703
00:26:52,978 --> 00:26:54,512
♪ ♪
704
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:58,016
♪ And I don't wantto come down ♪
705
00:26:58,116 --> 00:27:01,686
♪ Feel the rush ♪
706
00:27:01,786 --> 00:27:04,356
♪ ♪
707
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:07,859
♪ Never want to give up ♪
708
00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:11,830
♪ Kiss me slow ♪
709
00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:14,199
♪ ♪
710
00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:17,702
♪ Never want to come down ♪
711
00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:19,971
♪ Feel ♪
712
00:27:20,038 --> 00:27:24,342
♪ ♪
713
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:26,945
Go to bed.
58542
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