All language subtitles for The Addams Family (1964) — 2x05 — Gomez, the Peoples Choice

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,208 Nothing like a quiet evening at home. 2 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,380 Oh, the mail's in. 3 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,264 Thank you, Thing. 4 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,100 Did I hear the mail? 5 00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:44,104 Well, it's probably just the usual stock dividends, I suppose. 6 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,732 Or another refund from the treasury department. 7 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,611 Gomez, darling, it's the tax bill on this house. 8 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:56,158 - Bully! How much are they asking for? - Well, let's see. 9 00:01:56,575 --> 00:02:00,120 After the municipal fund, the sinking fund, the land improvements, 10 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:04,082 it comes to a grand total of $84! 11 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:07,252 $84! On this gem of a house? 12 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:10,255 - Why, that's an insult. - See for yourself. 13 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,762 The simple case of a displaced decimal. 14 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:20,599 - It should read $8,400. - More likely $84,000. 15 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:25,103 It shouldn't be a penny less for such a magnificent mansion as this. 16 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,648 Now, darling, you go right back to your Zen-Yogi. 17 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:30,192 - I'll handle this by phone. - Good thinking, my dear. 18 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,278 Why, thank you, Thing. 19 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:38,450 Hello, tax department? This is Mrs. Addams. 20 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:43,580 Yes, there's been a rather amusing typographical error on our tax bill. 21 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:47,000 $84. Oh, thank you. 22 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,838 They realize there's been an error. They're checking it out now. 23 00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,508 Oh, yes. And what is the revised? 24 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:59,263 - $8.40? - Let me at it. 25 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:07,145 Hello, there. Now, see here! Hello? Hello? 26 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,148 Hello? 27 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:17,531 $8.40. The insult supreme. 28 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,450 You're not going to take that lying down, are you? 29 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,953 Lying down? Certainly not. 30 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,414 I'm going to stand right here and do a little thinking. 31 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:32,504 Gomez, I think we ought to pay a little visit to the Mayor. 32 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,684 Quick, Your Honor, it's that Addams family. 33 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:46,894 They've been here twice. 34 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,688 I'll stall them until you can duck down the fire escape. 35 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,191 Cut out the melodramatics, Clyde. 36 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:55,402 - They're our voters, aren't they? - Well, anything is possible. 37 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,989 And there is an election coming up. Now, show them in. 38 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,367 - This is the season to be friendly. - Friendly to the Addams family? 39 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,996 - And they're taxpayers, aren't they? - Lf you say so. 40 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,874 Mr. And Mrs. Addams coming up, sir. 41 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:25,224 Mrs. Addams, Mr. Addams, do forgive the delay. 42 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:29,228 Please sit down. The work of your mayor is never done. 43 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,729 Thank you, Mr. Mayor. 44 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:34,358 Darling, show His Honor that ridiculous tax bill on our house. 45 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,444 - Here you are, sir. - Ridiculous. It is out. 46 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,279 Just a moment. You never even looked at it. 47 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,907 Well, I didn't have to. I've looked at your house. 48 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,451 - We'll cut it in half. - The house? 49 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:48,747 No, no, dear lady. The tax bill. 50 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:52,709 As a matter of fact, we'll cancel it altogether. 51 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:56,004 Or, to be really fair, we'll send you a rebate. 52 00:04:56,547 --> 00:05:00,759 Great Scott, look at the time! I'm going to be late for that cornerstone ceremony. 53 00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,138 Do forgive me, do forgive me. Goodbye. 54 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,391 Clyde! 55 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,979 Incompetence in office. The bane of our existence. 56 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:16,400 To think that in the last election I voted for that unmitigated scoundrel. 57 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,443 Not only that, darling, you voted for him twice. 58 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:21,989 Well, I cast my first vote so early it slipped my mind. 59 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:26,827 Somewhere, someplace there must be a politician 60 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,873 who's a little less of a conniving, bumbling hack than Mayor Henson. 61 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:34,334 But who? I don't know who. 62 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:38,422 But if I find him, he's going to get some mighty strong support 63 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,090 in this coming election. 64 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:07,576 Now, darling, put your hand up like this and repeat after me. 65 00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:11,079 If I'm elected, ladies and gentlemen... 66 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,957 If I'm elected, ladies and gentlemen... 67 00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:25,344 Let's face it. Today you can't be elected without a political machine behind you. 68 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:29,515 And unfortunately, I don't have one. 69 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:32,267 Oh, yes, you do, dear. Uncle Fester? 70 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,235 There. Your old friend Wizzo. 71 00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,362 The best machine a man can have behind him. 72 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:48,909 Come along, dear. Say something to Wizzo, darling. 73 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,620 - Go on, anything. - Anything? 74 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,121 Yeah, make a little speech. 75 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:55,457 All right. 76 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,627 Ladies and gentlemen. 77 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,092 By george, that's a first-rate political machine, all right. 78 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:09,388 It's been programmed for instant politics. Would you like a smoke-filled room? 79 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,604 It also answers political questions. 80 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,481 All right, here's a political question. 81 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,861 How did a nincompoop like Henson ever get elected in the first place? 82 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,821 Oh, that's an easy one. 83 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:39,459 "Mayor Henson got elected by conniving, wheeling and dealing 84 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,378 "and lots of razzle-dazzle." 85 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,173 I wish the whole world could have heard that. 86 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,300 It will, Gomez, it will. 87 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:51,889 And now, Wizzo, how can a fine, upstanding citizen like Gomez Addams 88 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,557 defeat Mayor Henson? 89 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:08,113 "A fine, upstanding citizen like Gomez Addams can defeat Mayor Henson 90 00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:12,451 "by even more conniving, wheeling, dealing and razzle-dazzle." 91 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:16,079 I'm afraid there's still a few bugs left in Wizzo. 92 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,873 Fix it, Uncle Fester. 93 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:21,877 You're not going to let a little thing like that stop you, are you, bubele? 94 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:25,380 Tish... 95 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:29,259 - When you say that word... - Well, are you? 96 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:36,350 If the enlightened citizens, my fair constituents of this glorious community 97 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:40,145 do me the honor of electing me your mayor, I promise that... 98 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,921 And rest assured, ladies and gentlemen, 99 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:10,592 that the Addams campaign will remain dignified, on a high level 100 00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:14,388 and completely free from the scurrilous tactics 101 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:19,268 of my conniving, double-dealing scoundrel of an opponent. 102 00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:24,273 Three high-level copies of that speech, Thing, when you get around to it. 103 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:30,153 Thank you, Thing. That's one, two, three. Very good. 104 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:34,074 "Conniving, scurrilous..." Excellent. Excellent work, Thing. 105 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,034 - Gomez, darling. - Yes, my dear. 106 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,662 It's time for your baby-kissing practice session. 107 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:43,876 Where would my campaign be without your firm hand on the tiller 108 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,919 of the good ship Addams? 109 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,131 - Let's get started, dear. - Right. Yes, yes. 110 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,383 - Oh, Mr. Addams. - Yes. 111 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,094 Both my baby and I did so love your speech. 112 00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:55,679 We're both going to vote for you. 113 00:09:55,762 --> 00:10:00,309 Thank you, madam. And thank you, my manly little fellow. 114 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,519 Or girl, as the case may be. 115 00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,611 - That perfume you're wearing. - Oh, sir. 116 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,989 Mr. Addams. Gomez! 117 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,950 It's the only way to run a campaign. 118 00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,535 The press. 119 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,414 - I'm Brown from The Sun. - Well, you certainly look it. 120 00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:25,292 Well, obviously you're here to question me about my campaign. 121 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:28,337 - Fire away. - Well, are you a candidate? 122 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,882 - No comment. - No comment? 123 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:34,009 That's off the record. 124 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:37,137 Dear, I believe the young man wants to know what position you take. 125 00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:38,430 My position? 126 00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:41,391 Well, I grasp the club firmly, put the weight on my right foot 127 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,018 and wham! 128 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,479 No, no, dear. He wants you to make a statement. 129 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,482 Very well. Look to the record. 130 00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,152 - I'll make it easier for you. - Very well. 131 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,737 How do you feel about slums? 132 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,907 Oh, preserving our historical landmark is his first consideration. 133 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,743 Start out picking on slums, you wind up doing away with swamps. 134 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,579 And when you do away with swamps where are the children going to play? 135 00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,581 - Vicious cycle. - You see. 136 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:09,628 - Lf you say so. One last question. - Yes, indeed. 137 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:13,048 How are you coming along collecting those 5,000 names that you need 138 00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,591 to get on the ballot? 139 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:18,178 At this very moment, two top members of my staff are busily... 140 00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,429 Here they are now. 141 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:22,599 - Back so soon. - And why not? 142 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:26,562 In two hours of tramping around we got more than 20,000 names. 143 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:27,938 And a lot of blisters. 144 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,315 Does that answer your question, my good man? 145 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,483 Yes, sir. 146 00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,443 Don't forget the campaign slogan. 147 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:38,198 Yes. "Gomez Addams. Watch his smoke." Catchy, isn't it? 148 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,545 Everybody's getting into the campaign. 149 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,714 Even I smoke occasionally. 150 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,936 - My, he's in a hurry. - Probably has to make a deadline. 151 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:11,690 Nice man. He just doesn't seem to know much about politics. 152 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,829 I know all that, but who are you going to vote for? 153 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,749 Who am I going to vote for? Well, I'll tell you. 154 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,794 This Addams guy says he's for slums, swamps, smog, 155 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,838 and the African tsetse fly. 156 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,798 Sounds kind of nutty, doesn't he? 157 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:40,511 Nutty? Nutty like a fox. It's a rib. Don't you get it? 158 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:43,222 Sure. He's teeing off with these politicians 159 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:46,183 that make promises they know they're never going to keep. 160 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:50,229 - I'm voting for the Addams guy. - Same here. How about you? 161 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,899 I'm going to the nearest bar and get smashed. 162 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,740 - I can't believe it! - Here are the actual figures, sir. 163 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,785 According to all the polls Addams is pulling out in front of you. 164 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:07,538 - But what do you suggest? - A debate on TV. 165 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,082 A debate on TV? 166 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:13,418 Addams is a kook. Get him on the air and prove it. Look, 167 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:17,381 we'll have the studio audience loaded with ringers, stacked questions. 168 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,716 Booing in all the right places. 169 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,679 Of all the mean, low-down conniving tricks... 170 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,807 Well, what are you standing there for? Go and arrange it. 171 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,864 Fortune cookie. 172 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:47,160 Don't look now but there's a telephone call for you. 173 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,996 Thank you, Thing. 174 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,083 Hello? Good morning, Mayor. 175 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:57,254 A debate? I'd love to. How's this for a theme? 176 00:13:57,713 --> 00:14:02,259 "Resolved that boys and girls should not go steady until..." What? 177 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:06,138 Oh, the political issues. Isn't that a bit extreme? 178 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,600 Very well, we'll do it your way. 179 00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:12,603 Fine. I'll see you then. 180 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,398 - Morticia. - You called? 181 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,943 The Mayor and I are going to debate on television. 182 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,403 Oh, darling, do you think you should? 183 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,488 Why not? Some television producer might see me. 184 00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,449 Open up a whole new career for me. 185 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,868 Oh, by the way, the Mayor is coming over tomorrow morning 186 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,453 to issue a formal challenge. 187 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,289 He's bringing along some reporters to make sure I don't weasel out. 188 00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:36,919 Me, weasel out? That's not a bad idea. 189 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:41,965 Darling, television has been the waterloo of many an aspiring candidate. 190 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:45,427 But don't you worry, we'll have you perfectly rehearsed and ready. 191 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,183 Counselor in my despair, shining beacon in my darkest moments. 192 00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:53,310 Maybe it will be better to weasel out. 193 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,646 No, the Addams family honor is at stake. 194 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,481 The very words of Lafayette Addams. 195 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,608 When he challenged the Duke of Burgundy to a duel? 196 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,735 Just before he skipped out of town. 197 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:09,826 Now, darling, I want the public to see the real Gomez Addams. 198 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,370 Oh, very well. 199 00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:18,544 No, I don't think that's quite good for your public image. 200 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:22,005 - Hang from the chandelier? - Just smile, dear. 201 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,681 Very sweet. 202 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:34,017 Now, dear, I want to make sure we get your best side. 203 00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,602 How about this? 204 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:39,648 - No, that's no good. - Like this? 205 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,652 No, that's no good, either. 206 00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:48,448 Morticia, how's this? 207 00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:51,368 This is his best side. 208 00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:58,083 No, I believe facing the camera is a bit more customary. 209 00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:01,086 Well, I can bring the camera around here. 210 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:04,923 No, dear, let's try that. 211 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,468 By george, Morticia, you are a resourceful director. 212 00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:12,014 - Now, we need a little makeup. - Makeup. 213 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,312 Oh, Uncle Fester, you only got one side. 214 00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:25,569 That Lafayette Addams was no fool. 215 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:30,574 Darling, the minute you get on the air, I want you to square your shoulders, 216 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:35,787 set your jaw, and put on your glasses, it makes you look so impressive. 217 00:16:36,497 --> 00:16:38,582 Yes, that's it. 218 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:42,586 And I'll insist that the camera zoom in for a big head close-up. 219 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,505 Yes, my dear. 220 00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,509 Let's try it, yes. 221 00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:54,431 Now, stare. That's it. Close-up. 222 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:04,858 That was just a wee bit too close. 223 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,777 But you're getting it, darling. 224 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,449 I've gotten it. 225 00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:18,372 Gomez, I was just going to test my new guillotine. Would you like... 226 00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,791 Fester, don't you know I'm going to debate the Mayor? 227 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,043 Can't you see I'm wrestling with major issues? 228 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,211 Major who? 229 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,797 Labor, foreign policies, social security. 230 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,799 Yeah, what do you think should be done about them? 231 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,384 That's what I was going to ask you. 232 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:34,096 You're no help at all. Nothing but interruptions and distractions. 233 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:40,477 Uncle Fester, I want you to taste my new recipe. 234 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,021 Braised lion loins. 235 00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:50,612 Say, that is tasty. Something is the matter with Gomez. 236 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,116 He doesn't even want to play with my guillotine. 237 00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:58,579 He has been acting strangely. I'd better give this my personal attention. 238 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,961 Fourscore and nine years ago... No. 239 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:09,590 Fourscore and ten years ago... That doesn't sound right, either. 240 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,593 - Oh, bubele. - Good morning, my dear. 241 00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:15,053 Gomez, darling, I called you bubele. 242 00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:18,390 The world will little note, nor long remember... No. 243 00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:22,811 Gomez, dear, would you like a little snack, some p�t� de foie gras? 244 00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:27,149 Crepes suzettes? Gomez? 245 00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:36,325 Friends, Romans, countrymen... That's it! 246 00:18:38,327 --> 00:18:40,454 Morticia, what happened? 247 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,164 It's even worse than you thought. 248 00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:45,000 It all started when he began running for mayor. 249 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:49,671 Oh, dear, sweet, kind Gomez. I've turned him into a Frankenstein. 250 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,341 There is a resemblance. 251 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:55,511 I can't interfere now. Oh, yes, I can. 252 00:18:55,594 --> 00:18:59,556 I forced him into this race and I'll force him out for his own good. 253 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:03,352 - How? - I'll need some cooperation. 254 00:19:04,353 --> 00:19:06,605 - You can count on me. - Me, too. 255 00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:11,026 Oh, dear, sweet Thing. 256 00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:17,616 Not only do I accept the challenge of a television debate, 257 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:21,411 but I refuse to sink to the level of this corrupt old windbag 258 00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:23,413 and engage in any name-calling. 259 00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:25,123 Mama! 260 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,960 I'm sorry I can't stick around, son, 261 00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:32,840 but I'll never get these office floors scrubbed just sitting here on my bucket. 262 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,300 Well, I'm off to my job. 263 00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:37,886 Job? I didn't even know you had a mop. 264 00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,972 Just one moment, madam. 265 00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:44,643 Did I understand you to say that Gomez Addams is your son? 266 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,812 Sure, has been for years. 267 00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:51,108 Oh, thank you. If you bring it back I'll autograph it for you. 268 00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:56,029 Well, gentlemen, did you hear that? 269 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:59,408 And this is the man who asks you to elect him 270 00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:02,411 to the high office of mayor of our fair city. 271 00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:06,874 And who forces that old, gray-haired mother of his 272 00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:09,084 to scrub office floors. 273 00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,378 What do you have to say to that, sir? 274 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,964 There's a perfectly simple explanation. 275 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,632 I just can't think of it. 276 00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:19,595 Meaning, of course, that you are not going to help. 277 00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:22,389 Of course I'm going to help her. I'm going to get her a new mop. 278 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,474 That old one did look pretty scruffy. 279 00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:29,646 Gomez, I just had to see you! 280 00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,357 It has been hours, hasn't it? I'm really touched. 281 00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:35,527 Say, I like your new outfit. Who's your tailor? 282 00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:41,575 Never mind that. I just wanted you to know you'd get my vote if I had one. 283 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,287 They'll never take me alive. 284 00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:49,082 Who was that? 285 00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:51,710 Oh, that's Uncle Fester, the family Beau Brummell. 286 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:54,880 Off to the races, from the looks of the outfit he was wearing. 287 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,591 I'm leaving that beast and no one can stop me. 288 00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:01,512 - What happened? - What happened? 289 00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:04,389 You know what happened, you wife-beater. 290 00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:06,225 And you gentlemen of the press, 291 00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:09,895 if you know your job, you'll splatter this all over the front pages. 292 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:15,234 And as for you, when the public finds out what a vile fiend you really are 293 00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:17,986 it'll be curtains for you. The end. 294 00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:21,865 Tish, that's French. 295 00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:27,996 And when they find out that you're also a scoundrel and a cardsharp 296 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:33,794 and a vain, self-centered, sweet, kind, beautiful... 297 00:21:34,211 --> 00:21:37,881 And a vote for Gomez Addams is a vote for clean government! 298 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:45,389 Well, gentlemen, I hope you will give this story the treatment it deserves. 299 00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:50,519 - We will. And it'll be a landslide. - Well, thank you. 300 00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,604 An Addams landslide. 301 00:21:53,105 --> 00:21:55,607 - Addams landslide? - Get with it, Mayor. 302 00:21:55,691 --> 00:21:59,236 This is the absolute tops in satire on dirty politics, 303 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:01,780 mud-slinging and character assassination. 304 00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:04,158 Addams is even getting my vote. 305 00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:09,663 - What'll I do? - Concede. 306 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,583 - What? - You're all washed-up anyway. 307 00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:16,461 There'll be other elections and the crowd loves a good loser. 308 00:22:21,133 --> 00:22:24,303 A new political star has risen. 309 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:28,849 Gentlemen, I give you His Honor, Gomez Addams. 310 00:22:29,308 --> 00:22:31,185 - Gomez? - Yes. 311 00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:33,312 - Do you really like this outfit? - Oh, yes. 312 00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:36,190 Not now, Uncle Fester. Please, dear. What were you saying? 313 00:22:36,273 --> 00:22:39,234 Well, the people have spoken 314 00:22:39,443 --> 00:22:42,863 when they first rushed to sign that original petition. 315 00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:45,407 - That's silly. - What's silly? 316 00:22:45,491 --> 00:22:49,912 Well, where we got those names from, no one was rushing or speaking. 317 00:22:50,037 --> 00:22:52,039 Uncle Fester, where did you get those names? 318 00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:55,542 The Happy Rest Cemetery. Right off the headstones. 319 00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:57,461 - Cemetery? - Yeah. 320 00:23:01,173 --> 00:23:05,469 Addams, I'm afraid that disqualifies you, old boy. 321 00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,429 Better luck next time. 322 00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:15,229 Oh, Gomez, darling, I'm dreadfully sorry. 323 00:23:15,604 --> 00:23:20,025 I feel personally responsible for all of this. Can you ever forgive me? 324 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,778 - I doubt it. - Bubele. 325 00:23:27,157 --> 00:23:32,788 So help me, if I live to be a thousand, I'll never, never forgive you. 326 00:23:54,810 --> 00:23:56,228 What is it, darling? 327 00:23:56,311 --> 00:23:59,356 I simply must know how I'd have fared as Mayor. 328 00:24:02,568 --> 00:24:07,906 Statesmanship, leadership, initiative, 329 00:24:08,657 --> 00:24:12,995 intelligence and ability. 330 00:24:13,704 --> 00:24:16,915 - Don't forget good looks, dear. - Right, good looks. 331 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,176 Darling, is "impeachment" good? 332 00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:32,389 "Chaos, mismanagement, corruption?" 333 00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:37,352 Well, in that case, impeachment would be the best thing. 334 00:24:37,436 --> 00:24:39,688 Who wants to be mayor of a bankrupt city? 335 00:24:39,771 --> 00:24:42,232 You withdrew just in time, darling. 27871

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