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1
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,208
Nothing like a quiet evening at home.
2
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,380
Oh, the mail's in.
3
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,264
Thank you, Thing.
4
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,100
Did I hear the mail?
5
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:44,104
Well, it's probably
just the usual stock dividends, I suppose.
6
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,732
Or another refund
from the treasury department.
7
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,611
Gomez, darling,
it's the tax bill on this house.
8
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:56,158
- Bully! How much are they asking for?
- Well, let's see.
9
00:01:56,575 --> 00:02:00,120
After the municipal fund,
the sinking fund, the land improvements,
10
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:04,082
it comes to a grand total of $84!
11
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:07,252
$84! On this gem of a house?
12
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:10,255
- Why, that's an insult.
- See for yourself.
13
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,762
The simple case of a displaced decimal.
14
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:20,599
- It should read $8,400.
- More likely $84,000.
15
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:25,103
It shouldn't be a penny less
for such a magnificent mansion as this.
16
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,648
Now, darling,
you go right back to your Zen-Yogi.
17
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:30,192
- I'll handle this by phone.
- Good thinking, my dear.
18
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,278
Why, thank you, Thing.
19
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:38,450
Hello, tax department?
This is Mrs. Addams.
20
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:43,580
Yes, there's been a rather amusing
typographical error on our tax bill.
21
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:47,000
$84. Oh, thank you.
22
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,838
They realize there's been an error.
They're checking it out now.
23
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,508
Oh, yes. And what is the revised?
24
00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:59,263
- $8.40?
- Let me at it.
25
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:07,145
Hello, there. Now, see here! Hello? Hello?
26
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,148
Hello?
27
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:17,531
$8.40. The insult supreme.
28
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,450
You're not going to take that
lying down, are you?
29
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,953
Lying down? Certainly not.
30
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,414
I'm going to stand right here
and do a little thinking.
31
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:32,504
Gomez, I think we ought to pay
a little visit to the Mayor.
32
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,684
Quick, Your Honor,
it's that Addams family.
33
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:46,894
They've been here twice.
34
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,688
I'll stall them
until you can duck down the fire escape.
35
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,191
Cut out the melodramatics, Clyde.
36
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:55,402
- They're our voters, aren't they?
- Well, anything is possible.
37
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,989
And there is an election coming up.
Now, show them in.
38
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,367
- This is the season to be friendly.
- Friendly to the Addams family?
39
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,996
- And they're taxpayers, aren't they?
- Lf you say so.
40
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,874
Mr. And Mrs. Addams coming up, sir.
41
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:25,224
Mrs. Addams, Mr. Addams,
do forgive the delay.
42
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:29,228
Please sit down.
The work of your mayor is never done.
43
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,729
Thank you, Mr. Mayor.
44
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:34,358
Darling, show His Honor
that ridiculous tax bill on our house.
45
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,444
- Here you are, sir.
- Ridiculous. It is out.
46
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,279
Just a moment.
You never even looked at it.
47
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,907
Well, I didn't have to.
I've looked at your house.
48
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,451
- We'll cut it in half.
- The house?
49
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:48,747
No, no, dear lady. The tax bill.
50
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:52,709
As a matter of fact,
we'll cancel it altogether.
51
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:56,004
Or, to be really fair,
we'll send you a rebate.
52
00:04:56,547 --> 00:05:00,759
Great Scott, look at the time! I'm going
to be late for that cornerstone ceremony.
53
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,138
Do forgive me, do forgive me. Goodbye.
54
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,391
Clyde!
55
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,979
Incompetence in office.
The bane of our existence.
56
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:16,400
To think that in the last election
I voted for that unmitigated scoundrel.
57
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,443
Not only that, darling,
you voted for him twice.
58
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:21,989
Well, I cast my first vote so early
it slipped my mind.
59
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:26,827
Somewhere, someplace
there must be a politician
60
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,873
who's a little less of a conniving,
bumbling hack than Mayor Henson.
61
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:34,334
But who? I don't know who.
62
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:38,422
But if I find him, he's going to get
some mighty strong support
63
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,090
in this coming election.
64
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:07,576
Now, darling, put your hand up like this
and repeat after me.
65
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:11,079
If I'm elected, ladies and gentlemen...
66
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,957
If I'm elected, ladies and gentlemen...
67
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:25,344
Let's face it. Today you can't be elected
without a political machine behind you.
68
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:29,515
And unfortunately, I don't have one.
69
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:32,267
Oh, yes, you do, dear. Uncle Fester?
70
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,235
There. Your old friend Wizzo.
71
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,362
The best machine
a man can have behind him.
72
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:48,909
Come along, dear.
Say something to Wizzo, darling.
73
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,620
- Go on, anything.
- Anything?
74
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,121
Yeah, make a little speech.
75
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:55,457
All right.
76
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,627
Ladies and gentlemen.
77
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,092
By george, that's a first-rate
political machine, all right.
78
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:09,388
It's been programmed for instant politics.
Would you like a smoke-filled room?
79
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,604
It also answers political questions.
80
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,481
All right, here's a political question.
81
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,861
How did a nincompoop like Henson
ever get elected in the first place?
82
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,821
Oh, that's an easy one.
83
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:39,459
"Mayor Henson got elected
by conniving, wheeling and dealing
84
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,378
"and lots of razzle-dazzle."
85
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,173
I wish the whole world
could have heard that.
86
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,300
It will, Gomez, it will.
87
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:51,889
And now, Wizzo, how can a fine,
upstanding citizen like Gomez Addams
88
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,557
defeat Mayor Henson?
89
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:08,113
"A fine, upstanding citizen like
Gomez Addams can defeat Mayor Henson
90
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:12,451
"by even more conniving, wheeling,
dealing and razzle-dazzle."
91
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:16,079
I'm afraid there's still
a few bugs left in Wizzo.
92
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,873
Fix it, Uncle Fester.
93
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:21,877
You're not going to let a little thing
like that stop you, are you, bubele?
94
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:25,380
Tish...
95
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:29,259
- When you say that word...
- Well, are you?
96
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:36,350
If the enlightened citizens, my fair
constituents of this glorious community
97
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:40,145
do me the honor of electing me
your mayor, I promise that...
98
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,921
And rest assured, ladies and gentlemen,
99
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:10,592
that the Addams campaign
will remain dignified, on a high level
100
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:14,388
and completely free
from the scurrilous tactics
101
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:19,268
of my conniving, double-dealing
scoundrel of an opponent.
102
00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:24,273
Three high-level copies of that speech,
Thing, when you get around to it.
103
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:30,153
Thank you, Thing.
That's one, two, three. Very good.
104
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:34,074
"Conniving, scurrilous..."
Excellent. Excellent work, Thing.
105
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,034
- Gomez, darling.
- Yes, my dear.
106
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,662
It's time for your baby-kissing
practice session.
107
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:43,876
Where would my campaign be
without your firm hand on the tiller
108
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,919
of the good ship Addams?
109
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,131
- Let's get started, dear.
- Right. Yes, yes.
110
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,383
- Oh, Mr. Addams.
- Yes.
111
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,094
Both my baby and I
did so love your speech.
112
00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:55,679
We're both going to vote for you.
113
00:09:55,762 --> 00:10:00,309
Thank you, madam.
And thank you, my manly little fellow.
114
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,519
Or girl, as the case may be.
115
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,611
- That perfume you're wearing.
- Oh, sir.
116
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,989
Mr. Addams. Gomez!
117
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,950
It's the only way to run a campaign.
118
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,535
The press.
119
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,414
- I'm Brown from The Sun.
- Well, you certainly look it.
120
00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:25,292
Well, obviously you're here
to question me about my campaign.
121
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:28,337
- Fire away.
- Well, are you a candidate?
122
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,882
- No comment.
- No comment?
123
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:34,009
That's off the record.
124
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:37,137
Dear, I believe the young man
wants to know what position you take.
125
00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:38,430
My position?
126
00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:41,391
Well, I grasp the club firmly,
put the weight on my right foot
127
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,018
and wham!
128
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,479
No, no, dear.
He wants you to make a statement.
129
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,482
Very well. Look to the record.
130
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,152
- I'll make it easier for you.
- Very well.
131
00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,737
How do you feel about slums?
132
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,907
Oh, preserving our historical landmark
is his first consideration.
133
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,743
Start out picking on slums,
you wind up doing away with swamps.
134
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,579
And when you do away with swamps
where are the children going to play?
135
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,581
- Vicious cycle.
- You see.
136
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:09,628
- Lf you say so. One last question.
- Yes, indeed.
137
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:13,048
How are you coming along collecting
those 5,000 names that you need
138
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,591
to get on the ballot?
139
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:18,178
At this very moment, two top members
of my staff are busily...
140
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,429
Here they are now.
141
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:22,599
- Back so soon.
- And why not?
142
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:26,562
In two hours of tramping around
we got more than 20,000 names.
143
00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:27,938
And a lot of blisters.
144
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,315
Does that answer your question,
my good man?
145
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,483
Yes, sir.
146
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,443
Don't forget the campaign slogan.
147
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:38,198
Yes. "Gomez Addams. Watch his smoke."
Catchy, isn't it?
148
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,545
Everybody's getting into the campaign.
149
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,714
Even I smoke occasionally.
150
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,936
- My, he's in a hurry.
- Probably has to make a deadline.
151
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:11,690
Nice man. He just doesn't seem to know
much about politics.
152
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,829
I know all that,
but who are you going to vote for?
153
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,749
Who am I going to vote for?
Well, I'll tell you.
154
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,794
This Addams guy says he's for slums,
swamps, smog,
155
00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,838
and the African tsetse fly.
156
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,798
Sounds kind of nutty, doesn't he?
157
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:40,511
Nutty? Nutty like a fox.
It's a rib. Don't you get it?
158
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:43,222
Sure. He's teeing off with these politicians
159
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:46,183
that make promises they know
they're never going to keep.
160
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:50,229
- I'm voting for the Addams guy.
- Same here. How about you?
161
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,899
I'm going to the nearest bar
and get smashed.
162
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,740
- I can't believe it!
- Here are the actual figures, sir.
163
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,785
According to all the polls
Addams is pulling out in front of you.
164
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:07,538
- But what do you suggest?
- A debate on TV.
165
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,082
A debate on TV?
166
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:13,418
Addams is a kook.
Get him on the air and prove it. Look,
167
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:17,381
we'll have the studio audience
loaded with ringers, stacked questions.
168
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,716
Booing in all the right places.
169
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,679
Of all the mean,
low-down conniving tricks...
170
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,807
Well, what are you standing there for?
Go and arrange it.
171
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,864
Fortune cookie.
172
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:47,160
Don't look now
but there's a telephone call for you.
173
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,996
Thank you, Thing.
174
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,083
Hello? Good morning, Mayor.
175
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:57,254
A debate? I'd love to.
How's this for a theme?
176
00:13:57,713 --> 00:14:02,259
"Resolved that boys and girls
should not go steady until..." What?
177
00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:06,138
Oh, the political issues.
Isn't that a bit extreme?
178
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,600
Very well, we'll do it your way.
179
00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:12,603
Fine. I'll see you then.
180
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,398
- Morticia.
- You called?
181
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,943
The Mayor and I are going to debate
on television.
182
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,403
Oh, darling, do you think you should?
183
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,488
Why not?
Some television producer might see me.
184
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,449
Open up a whole new career for me.
185
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,868
Oh, by the way, the Mayor is coming over
tomorrow morning
186
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,453
to issue a formal challenge.
187
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,289
He's bringing along some reporters
to make sure I don't weasel out.
188
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:36,919
Me, weasel out? That's not a bad idea.
189
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:41,965
Darling, television has been the waterloo
of many an aspiring candidate.
190
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:45,427
But don't you worry, we'll have you
perfectly rehearsed and ready.
191
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,183
Counselor in my despair,
shining beacon in my darkest moments.
192
00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:53,310
Maybe it will be better to weasel out.
193
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,646
No, the Addams family honor is at stake.
194
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,481
The very words of Lafayette Addams.
195
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,608
When he challenged the Duke of Burgundy
to a duel?
196
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,735
Just before he skipped out of town.
197
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:09,826
Now, darling, I want the public to see
the real Gomez Addams.
198
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,370
Oh, very well.
199
00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:18,544
No, I don't think that's quite good
for your public image.
200
00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:22,005
- Hang from the chandelier?
- Just smile, dear.
201
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,681
Very sweet.
202
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:34,017
Now, dear, I want to make sure
we get your best side.
203
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,602
How about this?
204
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:39,648
- No, that's no good.
- Like this?
205
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,652
No, that's no good, either.
206
00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:48,448
Morticia, how's this?
207
00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:51,368
This is his best side.
208
00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:58,083
No, I believe facing the camera
is a bit more customary.
209
00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:01,086
Well, I can bring the camera around here.
210
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:04,923
No, dear, let's try that.
211
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,468
By george, Morticia,
you are a resourceful director.
212
00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:12,014
- Now, we need a little makeup.
- Makeup.
213
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,312
Oh, Uncle Fester, you only got one side.
214
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:25,569
That Lafayette Addams was no fool.
215
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:30,574
Darling, the minute you get on the air,
I want you to square your shoulders,
216
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:35,787
set your jaw, and put on your glasses,
it makes you look so impressive.
217
00:16:36,497 --> 00:16:38,582
Yes, that's it.
218
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:42,586
And I'll insist that the camera zoom in
for a big head close-up.
219
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,505
Yes, my dear.
220
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,509
Let's try it, yes.
221
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:54,431
Now, stare. That's it. Close-up.
222
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:04,858
That was just a wee bit too close.
223
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,777
But you're getting it, darling.
224
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,449
I've gotten it.
225
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:18,372
Gomez, I was just going to test
my new guillotine. Would you like...
226
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,791
Fester, don't you know
I'm going to debate the Mayor?
227
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,043
Can't you see I'm wrestling
with major issues?
228
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,211
Major who?
229
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,797
Labor, foreign policies, social security.
230
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,799
Yeah, what do you think
should be done about them?
231
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,384
That's what I was going to ask you.
232
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:34,096
You're no help at all.
Nothing but interruptions and distractions.
233
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:40,477
Uncle Fester, I want you
to taste my new recipe.
234
00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:43,021
Braised lion loins.
235
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:50,612
Say, that is tasty.
Something is the matter with Gomez.
236
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,116
He doesn't even want to play
with my guillotine.
237
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:58,579
He has been acting strangely.
I'd better give this my personal attention.
238
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,961
Fourscore and nine years ago... No.
239
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:09,590
Fourscore and ten years ago...
That doesn't sound right, either.
240
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,593
- Oh, bubele.
- Good morning, my dear.
241
00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:15,053
Gomez, darling, I called you bubele.
242
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:18,390
The world will little note,
nor long remember... No.
243
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:22,811
Gomez, dear, would you like a little snack,
some p�t� de foie gras?
244
00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:27,149
Crepes suzettes? Gomez?
245
00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:36,325
Friends, Romans, countrymen... That's it!
246
00:18:38,327 --> 00:18:40,454
Morticia, what happened?
247
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,164
It's even worse than you thought.
248
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:45,000
It all started
when he began running for mayor.
249
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:49,671
Oh, dear, sweet, kind Gomez.
I've turned him into a Frankenstein.
250
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,341
There is a resemblance.
251
00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:55,511
I can't interfere now. Oh, yes, I can.
252
00:18:55,594 --> 00:18:59,556
I forced him into this race
and I'll force him out for his own good.
253
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:03,352
- How?
- I'll need some cooperation.
254
00:19:04,353 --> 00:19:06,605
- You can count on me.
- Me, too.
255
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:11,026
Oh, dear, sweet Thing.
256
00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:17,616
Not only do I accept the challenge
of a television debate,
257
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:21,411
but I refuse to sink to the level
of this corrupt old windbag
258
00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:23,413
and engage in any name-calling.
259
00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:25,123
Mama!
260
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,960
I'm sorry I can't stick around, son,
261
00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:32,840
but I'll never get these office floors
scrubbed just sitting here on my bucket.
262
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,300
Well, I'm off to my job.
263
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:37,886
Job? I didn't even know you had a mop.
264
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,972
Just one moment, madam.
265
00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:44,643
Did I understand you to say
that Gomez Addams is your son?
266
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,812
Sure, has been for years.
267
00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:51,108
Oh, thank you.
If you bring it back I'll autograph it for you.
268
00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:56,029
Well, gentlemen, did you hear that?
269
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:59,408
And this is the man
who asks you to elect him
270
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:02,411
to the high office of mayor of our fair city.
271
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:06,874
And who forces that old,
gray-haired mother of his
272
00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:09,084
to scrub office floors.
273
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,378
What do you have to say to that, sir?
274
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,964
There's a perfectly simple explanation.
275
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,632
I just can't think of it.
276
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:19,595
Meaning, of course,
that you are not going to help.
277
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:22,389
Of course I'm going to help her.
I'm going to get her a new mop.
278
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,474
That old one did look pretty scruffy.
279
00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:29,646
Gomez, I just had to see you!
280
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,357
It has been hours, hasn't it?
I'm really touched.
281
00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:35,527
Say, I like your new outfit.
Who's your tailor?
282
00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:41,575
Never mind that. I just wanted you
to know you'd get my vote if I had one.
283
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,287
They'll never take me alive.
284
00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:49,082
Who was that?
285
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:51,710
Oh, that's Uncle Fester,
the family Beau Brummell.
286
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:54,880
Off to the races, from the looks
of the outfit he was wearing.
287
00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,591
I'm leaving that beast
and no one can stop me.
288
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:01,512
- What happened?
- What happened?
289
00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:04,389
You know what happened,
you wife-beater.
290
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:06,225
And you gentlemen of the press,
291
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:09,895
if you know your job,
you'll splatter this all over the front pages.
292
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:15,234
And as for you, when the public
finds out what a vile fiend you really are
293
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:17,986
it'll be curtains for you. The end.
294
00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:21,865
Tish, that's French.
295
00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:27,996
And when they find out that
you're also a scoundrel and a cardsharp
296
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:33,794
and a vain, self-centered,
sweet, kind, beautiful...
297
00:21:34,211 --> 00:21:37,881
And a vote for Gomez Addams
is a vote for clean government!
298
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:45,389
Well, gentlemen, I hope you will
give this story the treatment it deserves.
299
00:21:45,889 --> 00:21:50,519
- We will. And it'll be a landslide.
- Well, thank you.
300
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,604
An Addams landslide.
301
00:21:53,105 --> 00:21:55,607
- Addams landslide?
- Get with it, Mayor.
302
00:21:55,691 --> 00:21:59,236
This is the absolute tops in satire
on dirty politics,
303
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:01,780
mud-slinging and character assassination.
304
00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:04,158
Addams is even getting my vote.
305
00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:09,663
- What'll I do?
- Concede.
306
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,583
- What?
- You're all washed-up anyway.
307
00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:16,461
There'll be other elections
and the crowd loves a good loser.
308
00:22:21,133 --> 00:22:24,303
A new political star has risen.
309
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:28,849
Gentlemen,
I give you His Honor, Gomez Addams.
310
00:22:29,308 --> 00:22:31,185
- Gomez?
- Yes.
311
00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:33,312
- Do you really like this outfit?
- Oh, yes.
312
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:36,190
Not now, Uncle Fester. Please, dear.
What were you saying?
313
00:22:36,273 --> 00:22:39,234
Well, the people have spoken
314
00:22:39,443 --> 00:22:42,863
when they first rushed to sign
that original petition.
315
00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:45,407
- That's silly.
- What's silly?
316
00:22:45,491 --> 00:22:49,912
Well, where we got those names from,
no one was rushing or speaking.
317
00:22:50,037 --> 00:22:52,039
Uncle Fester,
where did you get those names?
318
00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:55,542
The Happy Rest Cemetery.
Right off the headstones.
319
00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:57,461
- Cemetery?
- Yeah.
320
00:23:01,173 --> 00:23:05,469
Addams, I'm afraid
that disqualifies you, old boy.
321
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,429
Better luck next time.
322
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:15,229
Oh, Gomez, darling, I'm dreadfully sorry.
323
00:23:15,604 --> 00:23:20,025
I feel personally responsible for all of this.
Can you ever forgive me?
324
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,778
- I doubt it.
- Bubele.
325
00:23:27,157 --> 00:23:32,788
So help me, if I live to be a thousand,
I'll never, never forgive you.
326
00:23:54,810 --> 00:23:56,228
What is it, darling?
327
00:23:56,311 --> 00:23:59,356
I simply must know
how I'd have fared as Mayor.
328
00:24:02,568 --> 00:24:07,906
Statesmanship, leadership, initiative,
329
00:24:08,657 --> 00:24:12,995
intelligence and ability.
330
00:24:13,704 --> 00:24:16,915
- Don't forget good looks, dear.
- Right, good looks.
331
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,176
Darling, is "impeachment" good?
332
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:32,389
"Chaos, mismanagement, corruption?"
333
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:37,352
Well, in that case,
impeachment would be the best thing.
334
00:24:37,436 --> 00:24:39,688
Who wants to be mayor
of a bankrupt city?
335
00:24:39,771 --> 00:24:42,232
You withdrew just in time, darling.
27871
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