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It's all very simple, children.
All you need is 20/20 vision,
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00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:12,322
nerves of steel,
and absolutely perfect coordination.
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00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,740
Like this.
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00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:21,665
You also need an indomitable spirit.
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That's the safe way to make a basket.
Once more.
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- Oh, that was a nice toss, darling.
- Thank you.
7
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,848
Thank you, Lurch.
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00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:47,649
Querida! Perfect.
Exactly the way I taught you.
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00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,068
And that's the way
I want you to do it, too.
10
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,446
Children, we'll have
another lesson tomorrow.
11
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,741
- You're a good teacher.
- Thank you, Father.
12
00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,120
Cara mia, stop right there.
13
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:03,498
Oh, but darling, I must take this plant
down to the playroom.
14
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:06,710
I don't see a plant. I see a rare flower.
15
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,462
You.
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00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:12,341
- My lovely black orchid.
- Oh, Gomez, darling.
17
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:17,596
Your Castilian blood
courses through your veins so gloriously.
18
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:22,017
Oh, that's terrible.
19
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,685
Morticia doesn't seem to think so.
20
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,355
No, I'm talking about this article.
21
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:30,526
"The Danger of a Happy Marriage"
by Dr. Francois Chalon,
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00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:31,860
the eminent psychologist.
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00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,863
- Danger? In a happy marriage?
- You bet.
24
00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:38,659
This fellow says that,
"Married couples who seem ideally mated
25
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:43,872
"and perfectly attuned are really
miserable, emotional messes underneath."
26
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:46,375
Well, the poor things.
27
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:49,169
Not everyone can be as fortunate as we,
cara mia.
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00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:53,048
Music, Lurch,
to underscore this magic moment.
29
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,679
You just oughtta read this.
30
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,515
This Dr. Chalon is tops in his profession.
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00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:05,853
He says that couples who fight like
cats and dogs are really the happy ones.
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00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,566
- Happy, cara mia?
- Ecstatic, cavaliere mio.
33
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:13,610
You are sick, sick, sick.
34
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,531
Darling, I'm worried.
35
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,075
Do you think there could be
anything wrong with our marriage?
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00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,451
I couldn't be happier.
37
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:26,331
Querida, if our marriage is shaky,
I want to keep it shaking for all eternity.
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00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:30,752
Your knight in shining armor will defend it
against the world.
39
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:45,559
Oh, darling,
something I've always wanted.
40
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,686
An indoor waterfall.
41
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,439
- You're so ingenious.
- That's true.
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00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:53,609
Well, off to the Zen-Yogi society.
43
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,944
We're doing our latest position,
the spread eagle.
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00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,905
- On the floor?
- Midair.
45
00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,406
Have fun.
46
00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:06,997
I forgot my glasses.
47
00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:14,463
- Who did that?
- Gomez.
48
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:18,217
- Deliberately?
- We were talking about our marriage
49
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,470
and suddenly
he picked up the spear and flung it.
50
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,972
You had a fight. Congratulations.
51
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:27,142
Nonsense, Uncle Fester.
We've never been happier.
52
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,395
- You poor, misguided soul.
- But...
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00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,524
Please, you'll make me cry.
54
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,327
Come on, Lurch. Tighter.
55
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,830
I just gotta get rid
of this headache of mine.
56
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,667
Oh, forget it.
57
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:56,797
I'll never get rid of this headache.
58
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,843
You always said that thing was perfect
for soothing your nerves.
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00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:04,763
How can I have soothed nerves
when tragedy is about to strike
60
00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:08,392
- someone very near and dear to us?
- The octopus?
61
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,144
The moose?
62
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,189
Morticia and Gomez.
63
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,859
Gomez is beginning to crack already.
64
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:20,195
For no reason at all,
he just practically wrecked the plumbing.
65
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:25,367
They're gonna really erupt one
of these days and...
66
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,078
All over! We gotta get them to fight,
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00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,956
so they'll let off a little emotional steam.
68
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,876
- Then they'll kiss and make up, huh?
- Right.
69
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,003
You know, like a well-adjusted couple.
70
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:41,341
Now, all in favor of making Morticia
and Gomez miserable for their own good,
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00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,093
raise their hands.
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00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,893
It's unanimous.
73
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:22,382
- Please, not while I'm coughing.
- Sorry, Fester.
74
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:36,480
Morticia, my pet, did you make a
slight rearrangement of the chessmen?
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00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,899
She probably knew she was beaten.
76
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,778
Darling, are you accusing me of fudging?
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00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:46,949
It's just an excuse.
He's trapped and he knows it.
78
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,828
Forgive me, angelito m�o.
79
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:56,166
There, my king stalemates your king.
80
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,502
It's a draw. Neither one of us wins.
81
00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:01,004
Of course, darling, it had to be.
82
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,298
We're so perfectly matched.
83
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:09,221
We've just got to do
what the professor says.
84
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:10,973
Get them brawling.
85
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,649
Hello? Gomez Addams?
86
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,860
Who's calling?
87
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:24,862
Grand guru?
88
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:30,033
You must be the president
of Gomez's Zen-Yogi society.
89
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,913
His dues? Yeah, I'll tell him what he...
90
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:43,046
There aren't gonna be any dues, not this
month's or any month's from now on.
91
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:47,092
Mrs. Addams talked her husband
into quitting your phony society.
92
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,344
She says Zen-Yogi is a fake.
93
00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:51,722
Yeah, she put him wise to you quacks!
94
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:56,018
Gomez will have a fit. He loves Zen-Yogi.
95
00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:00,731
Exactly. And if he doesn't give Morticia
a whack or two,
96
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,567
how else is going
to prove his undying love?
97
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:07,112
And if she cares for him
she'll conk him once or twice.
98
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,573
What lovely fireworks.
99
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:13,994
They'll light up the whole sky
with "I love you."
100
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,249
An ace.
101
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:29,176
My weekly game
at the Zen-Yogi clubhouse
102
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:32,262
is something I look forward to
with a passion.
103
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,307
Imagine playing
seven card lowball on your head.
104
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,482
I am Drashi Dumo,
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00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,777
grand guru of the local Zen-Yogi society.
106
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:49,655
Follow me.
107
00:08:57,538 --> 00:09:01,458
- The grand guru.
- Grand guru!
108
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,638
This is a surprise.
109
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:19,726
Mr. Addams,
I am the one who is surprised.
110
00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:21,937
In fact, I am deeply shocked.
111
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,981
Zen-Yogi is not a fraud.
112
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:26,650
It is nirvana. It is the ultimate.
113
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:30,153
Well, of course it's the ultimate. I might
even say it goes beyond the ultimate.
114
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,822
Who would dare say it's a fraud?
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00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,533
Your wife, Mrs. Addams.
116
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,327
Yeah, your wife, Mrs. Addams.
117
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:38,996
She did?
118
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,540
Well, she's a very intelligent woman.
119
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,835
If her intuition tells her it's a fraud,
then it must be a fraud.
120
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,337
Then you are quitting the society?
121
00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:51,675
Morticia said that? My darling querida.
122
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,637
Just trying to save me the
embarrassment of telling you myself.
123
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:58,724
You're not gonna let her dictate to you,
are you, Gomez?
124
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,475
You love Zen-Yogi.
125
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,562
After what has been said
about Zen-Yogi in this house,
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00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,356
we will never accept you again. Good day.
127
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,234
Wait! Tell him his wife's a meddler.
128
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:11,195
Let's get a little battle going here.
129
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:18,452
Darling, did I hear a strange voice?
130
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:22,080
Tish, Zen-Yogi's been taking up
entirely too much of my life.
131
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,124
Darling, you're so right.
132
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:28,045
And besides, all this standing
on your head is getting rather expensive.
133
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:32,049
- None of your hats fit anymore.
- It's more fun doing things together.
134
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:36,470
Darling, could this be the time we should
take our safari up the Amazon?
135
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,764
Wonderful. A second honeymoon.
136
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,308
- Darling.
- Cara.
137
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,230
Did you hear that?
138
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:51,693
I'm gonna have to take the most
drastic step of all. Now! Today.
139
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:54,947
You're right.
We just can't let them go off alone.
140
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,616
Suppose they explode up the Amazon.
141
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,911
- Only one would come back alive.
- Which one?
142
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,248
I don't know.
And that's the worst part of it.
143
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,834
I just couldn't stand the suspense.
144
00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,891
A gentleman to see you, Doctor.
145
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,023
I hope I can help you.
146
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,776
I read your article in a magazine.
147
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,737
Yes, a marriage problem.
148
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:40,409
Have you ever considered
wearing a toupee?
149
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:43,745
Oh, it's not me, it's my niece and nephew.
150
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,457
They seem ideally mated.
Completely happy.
151
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,669
A potentially disastrous relationship.
152
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,338
I had five marriages of my own.
153
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:56,758
Each one ideal, and then...
154
00:11:58,177 --> 00:12:00,137
Five marriages?
155
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:04,349
You must really understand women.
156
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:08,187
Naturally. I've killed three men for women.
157
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:12,024
- Duels.
- Well, that's a nice pastime.
158
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:15,819
But you've just got to meet
Morticia and Gomez.
159
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:18,989
As a friend of mine. Not as a doctor.
160
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:22,659
So you can study and observe them,
without letting them know.
161
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,578
You've just got to help them.
162
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:28,499
- Well, I'm afraid I'm a very busy man.
- Oh, please, please.
163
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,752
We can't let a beautiful woman
like Morticia
164
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:34,630
go through life as a lonely divorc�e.
165
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,091
Beautiful? Well...
166
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:43,180
Never let it be said that Francois Chalon
ever refused a lady in distress.
167
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,848
Oh, goody.
168
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:51,522
You're a school chum
of dear Uncle Fester's?
169
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:54,525
- Yeah, that was correspondence school.
- How charming.
170
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,863
Oh, that French! Even when he speaks it.
171
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,664
The French are so suave.
172
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:12,709
But the Castilian is much more exciting
in his ardor.
173
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,838
Will you come and meet our Mama?
174
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,385
Mama, this is Dr. Chalon.
175
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,555
- Charmed.
- That's a most unusual ball of yarn
176
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:27,599
- you're working with.
- Oh, it's a shrunken head.
177
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:31,687
I'm taking the hair off. I'm going to crochet
a nice tea cozy with it.
178
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,733
And this is my daughter, Wednesday.
179
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:40,696
Oh, what a pity!
180
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,198
Your little doll lost its head.
181
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,910
She hasn't lost it. She's Marie Antoinette.
182
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,620
And I chopped it off.
183
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:56,003
Would you care for a cocktail
before dinner, Dr. Chalon?
184
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,422
Yes, I think I could use one.
185
00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,303
You rang?
186
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:07,014
Cocktails, Lurch. Use the good hemlock.
187
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:14,563
- Shall we adjourn to the library?
- Yes.
188
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,732
So much more intime.
189
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:22,362
- Please, that's French.
- Darling, please. We have a guest.
190
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:26,158
Oh, yes, forgive me.
191
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,826
Shall we?
192
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:40,172
I asked him here to solve a problem.
Now he's creating one.
193
00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:45,469
That's just what we want.
We'll encourage it.
194
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:51,475
This is my darling Cleopatra.
195
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,685
Genus African strangler.
196
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:58,899
If I may say so, I find you fascinating,
completely irresistible.
197
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:01,235
I believe you're
trying to tell me something.
198
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:05,239
From the first moment I saw you,
I was enchanted.
199
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,699
Dr. Chalon!
200
00:15:07,783 --> 00:15:10,661
I believe Uncle Fester's school chums
are always welcome here,
201
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:14,498
but I think you're abusing our hospitality.
I happen to be married.
202
00:15:14,832 --> 00:15:19,044
If you don't mind my saying so, I've made
women forget their husbands in one day.
203
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,338
- Please, I love Gomez.
- Who's Gomez?
204
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,674
- My husband.
- You see, I've forgotten him already.
205
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,592
You'll recognize him
when you see him again.
206
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:32,683
Fester, are you trying to accuse Morticia
of flirting with Chalon?
207
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:37,187
All I can say
is I'm sorry I ever invited him over.
208
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,944
Then I'll have to defend my honor,
like a true Addams.
209
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:47,155
Well, spoken
like a true Castilian nobleman.
210
00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:49,950
- Let her have it.
- Mr. Addams.
211
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,536
- Your charming wife just...
- Sir,
212
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,205
you have trifled
with the sanctity of my marriage.
213
00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:58,167
I demand satisfaction. My card.
214
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:04,423
"Validated one-hour parking at Joe's."
215
00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:06,216
Slight error.
216
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:09,344
Now, you may choose your weapons.
217
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,942
These rapiers. In one hour.
218
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:27,946
This is all wrong.
You were supposed to sock Morticia.
219
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:33,660
My rapier shall speak for me.
220
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,247
Please turn the other cheek.
221
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:38,916
I only have two.
222
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:45,506
Gomez. He's the best swordsman
in all France.
223
00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:49,259
He is? For Morticia, my querida,
224
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,970
I would fight
the greatest swordsman in the world.
225
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:54,264
Oh, shucks.
226
00:17:10,781 --> 00:17:12,115
Sorry, sir.
227
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:28,090
Poor Gomez.
228
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:32,219
If only he'd belted you once,
everything would have been perfect.
229
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,597
That's no way for a man
to treat the woman he loves.
230
00:17:35,848 --> 00:17:38,684
That Chalon will slice him
like a nickel baloney.
231
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,477
Oh, dear. I must stop it.
232
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:43,856
But how? He'll enjoy killing Gomez.
233
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:46,316
But Gomez won't enjoy it.
234
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,500
I had the most horrible dream.
235
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:07,921
I dreamed that you killed Chalon
and the police came and took you away.
236
00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:12,467
And Gomez, you're my favorite nephew.
I just couldn't bear it.
237
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,345
Please, you gotta call off that duel.
238
00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:18,473
Don't be absurd.
If the police come I'll face them.
239
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:21,185
With shoulders back, head high, and say,
240
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,562
"It was an accident."
241
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:32,112
Gee, Gomez, you know,
with that sword in your hand
242
00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:35,073
- it's a thing of beauty.
- It's all in the wrists.
243
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:38,452
In the wrist, huh? Please can I try it?
244
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:41,246
- Go ahead.
- Thank you.
245
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,924
Oh, dear. And we don't have another.
246
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,760
Now you'll have to call the duel off.
247
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:02,351
Nonsense. This is much better.
248
00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:09,066
- Gomez, you said it was all in your wrist?
- Oh, yes.
249
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:13,195
Here, we got to keep it in shape.
Let me give it a little massage.
250
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:15,822
- Here, how's that feel?
- It's all right.
251
00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:18,700
Yeah? Better?
252
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,995
Well, yes, much better.
253
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,998
- But not for dueling.
- You mean you'll have to call it off?
254
00:19:25,082 --> 00:19:27,459
Not while I still have this hand.
255
00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:31,338
By george, I just realized it.
256
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:33,173
I'm left-handed.
257
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:51,608
Cousin Itt,
I'm faced with a terrible problem,
258
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:55,070
and I know you have a good head
on your shoulders...
259
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:57,489
You do have shoulders, don't you?
260
00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:00,576
Three?
261
00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:01,994
Well.
262
00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:04,079
Anyway,
263
00:20:04,163 --> 00:20:06,540
Gomez and a certain Dr. Chalon
264
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:09,418
have become involved in a deadly duel
over me.
265
00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:14,882
There is a simple solution? What?
266
00:20:17,426 --> 00:20:20,637
A duel? But they are going to fight a duel.
267
00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:23,223
And Chalon's the best swordsman
in France.
268
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:29,146
That's a very good suggestion, Cousin Itt.
269
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,690
But Gomez's insurance is already paid up.
270
00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:33,650
How can I stop that duel?
271
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:39,281
I tried that.
He discovered he was left-handed.
272
00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:45,037
That's very sweet of you, Cousin Itt.
273
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:47,998
But I believe Gomez
has written his own eulogy.
274
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,960
Well, I'll just have to work on Dr. Chalon.
275
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:56,048
I must stop this duel for Gomez's sake,
no matter what the price.
276
00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,221
Thank you, Cousin Itt.
277
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:05,557
It's comforting
to know that I look good in black.
278
00:21:20,906 --> 00:21:22,241
Francois.
279
00:21:27,246 --> 00:21:30,624
Please speak English.
It sets my blood afire.
280
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:32,334
Really?
281
00:21:33,502 --> 00:21:35,504
Please come and sit beside me.
282
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:41,176
Francois, I don't want you to fight.
You might get killed.
283
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:44,429
Do not worry.
In three strokes you are a widow.
284
00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:47,432
Dueling's for fools. You must go away.
285
00:21:47,558 --> 00:21:48,934
Only if you go with me.
286
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:51,687
I'd love to, but Gomez hates to travel.
287
00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:53,772
- Who's Gomez?
- My darling husband.
288
00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:56,900
What about darling me? You must choose.
289
00:21:56,984 --> 00:22:00,946
Well, I'd feel much better
knowing you were far away, and safe.
290
00:22:01,113 --> 00:22:03,198
Such charm.
But you do not have to choose.
291
00:22:03,282 --> 00:22:05,075
I stay here and duel.
292
00:22:05,159 --> 00:22:06,869
Well, then, duel with me.
293
00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:08,996
I prefer to kill your darling Gomez.
294
00:22:09,079 --> 00:22:11,915
- Oh, no!
- Such loyalty.
295
00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:14,793
In a few minutes it will be "poof!" All over.
296
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,546
- And then you can pack your things, yes?
- No.
297
00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:21,175
I mean, I just remembered,
I have to go feed Zelda.
298
00:22:21,592 --> 00:22:24,970
- Let Zelda feed herself.
- Let a vulture feed herself?
299
00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:26,972
You're not yourself.
300
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:32,853
Her husband hates to travel?
301
00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:40,485
Chalon, you are a fool.
302
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:45,908
Dr. Chalon, you must call off the duel.
303
00:22:45,991 --> 00:22:48,660
It's off. Cowards only talk bravely.
304
00:22:48,827 --> 00:22:51,997
That's true,
but Gomez has other good qualities.
305
00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:53,957
I was speaking of my cowardice.
306
00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:57,669
I have a yellow streak
that wide down my back.
307
00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:01,173
Oh, is that so?
I thought you were wearing suspenders.
308
00:23:01,256 --> 00:23:04,384
Well, it takes a brave man
to admit he's a coward.
309
00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:07,554
But what about Morticia and Gomez?
310
00:23:07,638 --> 00:23:11,016
- Maybe if she slugged him...
- Not necessary.
311
00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:13,352
They are truly a perfect couple.
312
00:23:13,435 --> 00:23:17,397
He was willing to sacrifice himself for her,
and just now, she...
313
00:23:19,525 --> 00:23:22,945
It would have been
such a beautiful sacrifice.
314
00:23:24,071 --> 00:23:26,198
- Good night, sir.
- Good night.
315
00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:29,034
All right, Chalon, this is it.
The moment of truth.
316
00:23:30,494 --> 00:23:32,371
- Chalon left.
- He left?
317
00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:35,040
You know those
yellow suspenders he was wearing?
318
00:23:35,123 --> 00:23:37,334
- Yes.
- They're not suspenders.
319
00:23:38,544 --> 00:23:40,629
- Where's Francois?
- He ran.
320
00:23:40,879 --> 00:23:43,757
Oh, good. Didn't he leave any message?
321
00:23:44,258 --> 00:23:46,385
What message was there to leave?
322
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:49,638
He was obviously frightened
by my superior swordsmanship.
323
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:51,890
I may be a little rusty,
but I still have what it takes.
324
00:23:52,975 --> 00:23:55,269
Yes, darling, you still have it.
325
00:23:55,811 --> 00:23:57,312
But I think I'm slipping.
326
00:24:04,069 --> 00:24:08,073
Darling, I'm really glad you're back
in the Zen-Yogi society.
327
00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:12,494
Well, when I showed them this position,
they welcomed me with open arms.
328
00:24:14,580 --> 00:24:17,457
- It's a very interesting position.
- And so comfortable.
329
00:24:17,541 --> 00:24:20,419
The grand guru couldn't wait
to try it himself.
330
00:24:20,794 --> 00:24:24,256
Yes, it's too bad
he didn't have a stronger chandelier.
331
00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,425
We should send him a get-well card.
332
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:29,136
- If it's not too late.
- No.
333
00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:31,513
The hospital says
he's recovering quite nicely.
334
00:24:35,684 --> 00:24:38,896
Oh, dear, the grand guru
is going to have company.
335
00:24:40,314 --> 00:24:44,234
By george, that Zen-Yogi really does work.
My head never felt clearer.
336
00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:46,820
Darling.
26645
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