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1
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:19,770
They're creepy and they're kooky
2
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,772
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,774
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,817
The Addams family
5
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,819
The house is a museum
6
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,821
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,782
They really are a scream
8
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,534
The Addams family
9
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:35,994
Neat.
10
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,663
Sweet.
11
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:41,708
Petite.
12
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,669
So get a witch's shawl on
13
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,712
A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,673
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,884
The Addams family
16
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:14,741
Come on, Fester, get that power going.
I want this crash to be a real whopper.
17
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,497
I'm too excited to play trains, Gomez.
18
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,750
I should go up to my room and
pack some things for the outing.
19
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:26,795
- But that's tomorrow.
- It's going to be real neat.
20
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,797
Exploring a brand-new cave.
21
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:31,341
And I'm gonna light the way
for everybody.
22
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:34,845
Bright as Broadway.
23
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,851
Now, what'll it be today, Pugsley?
A nice head-on collision?
24
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,978
Couldn't we have a derailment
for a change?
25
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,688
Derailment it is.
26
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:49,484
Let that current go, Fester.
I wanna see 'em fly off the tracks.
27
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,113
Gomez, don't you think I ought
to save myself till tomorrow?
28
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,157
Tomorrow is another day.
29
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:59,494
Why didn't I think of that? Okay.
30
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:06,502
Now watch this, Pugsley boy.
A wild pile-up on the next turn.
31
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:22,851
- Suddenly I went dead.
- You need recharging.
32
00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,521
No, I just had that done this morning.
33
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:29,483
I didn't feel good all day,
but I never thought it'd come to this.
34
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,028
What do we do, Father?
35
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,989
The only thing we can do.
Call an electrician.
36
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:45,707
- I think I have an emotional watt seepage.
- Watt a way to go.
37
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,586
- Don't make fun of me, Gomez.
- I'm sorry, really.
38
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,090
Hello? Home Electrical?
39
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,968
I'd like to ask a bit of advice.
40
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:59,304
Our Uncle Fester seems
to have got himself de-volted.
41
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,014
Hello?
42
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,851
You still there? Good.
43
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,562
Yes, de-volted.
44
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,858
Well, you see, he was running an electric
train and suddenly his power went off.
45
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:16,280
- What did he say?
- I can't tell you in front of the boy.
46
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:21,618
- I guess we'll have to talk to Morticia.
- Gee, I hate to worry her about me.
47
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,538
Well, it's not the worry. She was going
to bake a cake this afternoon
48
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,082
and she wanted you to run her cake mixer.
49
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,293
Failure upon failure.
50
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:32,796
I feel like going out
and drowning myself in the smog.
51
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:37,426
Breathe deeply.
It does wonders for your sinuses.
52
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,012
- Gomez!
- Well, it does.
53
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:56,904
Again.
54
00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:17,716
Thank you, Thing.
But remember, nobody likes a smart thing.
55
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:28,560
Wednesday dear, that was lovely.
You're really improving.
56
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,897
I think you're almost ready to start
on the new piece I bought you.
57
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,482
Dance of the Hyenas.
58
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,485
That sounds pretty.
59
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,446
Thank you, Lurch, that will be all.
60
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:46,662
- Mother. Uncle Fester's sick.
- Are you sure?
61
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,413
When I saw him at breakfast this morning,
62
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:52,334
his face fairly glowed
with that lovely jaundiced color.
63
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,045
Maybe he blew a fuse.
64
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:58,048
Oh, darling, I'm sure he's funning you.
65
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,802
He probably wants you to put a penny
behind his ear to make him go again.
66
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,136
I doubt that.
67
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,722
No, his malady is a bit of a mystery.
68
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,267
Children, why don't you go
into the kitchen
69
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:11,728
and help Grandmama sort the toadstools
from the mushrooms.
70
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:15,315
She's going
to make a lovely toadstool souffl.
71
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:17,109
- Yummy!
- Yummy!
72
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,989
That reminds me, darling.
If you're going to bake that cake
73
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,449
I'll have to run out
and get you a hand mixer.
74
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,369
- Then Uncle Fester's really ill.
- Not a watt.
75
00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:29,955
Oh, darling.
76
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,001
I'm afraid this will cancel our outing
for tomorrow.
77
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,794
We could take flashlights.
78
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,964
But the light would be too harsh.
79
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:42,259
And too bright
to explore new and unknown caves.
80
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:47,890
Besides, when Uncle Fester switches
to neon, the effect is truly spectacular.
81
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,893
The children will be so disappointed.
82
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:54,354
Little Wednesday was looking forward
to collecting some new spiders.
83
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:57,608
- You know how she adores her pets.
- I know how you were looking forward
84
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,735
to some hemlock seedlings
for your garden.
85
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,945
Darling, we're being very selfish.
86
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,364
We're thinking of ourselves,
and we shouldn't.
87
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:07,242
We should only think
of how to help Uncle Fester.
88
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:11,413
How like you to think of it that way,
querida mia.
89
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,665
You are a gem.
90
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:15,834
Tasty one, too.
91
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:20,506
Darling, do you remember
our second honeymoon at Niagara Falls?
92
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,510
- In Niagara Falls.
- It was a divine cave.
93
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,846
Free showers, anytime of the day or night.
94
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:32,059
That was living, mon ami.
95
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:37,272
Tish. When you speak French
you drive me wild.
96
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,193
Speak some more French, Tish. Anything.
Tout l'heure.
97
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,071
La plume de ma tante.
Mademoiselle from Armentieres.
98
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,280
Anything.
99
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,074
- You are a devil.
- Yes.
100
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:50,619
I'm just gonna pack my bags and leave.
101
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:53,163
Uncle Fester,
what seems to be the trouble?
102
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,833
Mama called me an outing pooper.
103
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,628
- Oh, I'm sure she meant it kindly.
- Of course.
104
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,173
From Mama that's flattery.
105
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:07,928
And that's not all.
Thing refused to Indian wrestle with me.
106
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:11,473
And the piranha fish wouldn't even
take a bite out of my hand.
107
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,308
That is unfriendly.
108
00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:15,143
It's worse than that.
109
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:19,064
I asked Lurch to bring up my bed of nails
so I could get some relaxation
110
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:22,025
and he absolutely ignored me.
111
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,069
We'll see about that.
112
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,826
You rang?
113
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:34,621
Lurch, I'm afraid you're going to have
to apologize to Uncle Fester.
114
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,835
That's better.
115
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:43,172
Dear Lurch, he expresses himself so well.
116
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,133
I don't blame anyone for rejecting me,
117
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,093
the way I've ruined the family's outing.
118
00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:51,221
Uncle Fester,
Gomez and I aren't rejecting you.
119
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,266
- We want to help you.
- But the question is how?
120
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:57,269
I believe it has something to do
with your diet.
121
00:07:57,352 --> 00:08:01,481
Impossible. I always eat a very simple,
wholesome meal.
122
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:05,027
Now, for breakfast this morning
I had walnut shells and sour milk.
123
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,197
Oh, you should have had
green persimmons first.
124
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,407
Naturally.
125
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,245
Gosh. If there is something wrong
with me,
126
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,957
I hope it's one
of those rare tropical diseases.
127
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:23,003
You know, Morticia.
Something glamorous.
128
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:24,880
I hope so too, dear.
129
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,175
But in the meantime, we must get you
well before tomorrow.
130
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,553
Oh, you better go along without me.
131
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,806
I'll probably be an outing pooper.
132
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,934
Well, back to the smog.
133
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,439
Poor Uncle Fester. He sounds suicidal.
134
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,775
At least he'll go with a clear sinus.
135
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,652
Uncle Fester!
136
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,030
Don't try to discourage me, Morticia.
137
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,740
Uncle Fester, I've been thinking.
138
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,117
Have you been getting
enough moonshine?
139
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,120
Morticia, you know I don't drink.
140
00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,165
Morticia's referring to moonbathing.
141
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,379
The moon has marvelous
restorative powers for us Addamses.
142
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:08,507
Provided you don't take too much of it.
There's a full moon out tonight.
143
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,759
If I get too much I get freckles.
144
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:14,888
Nonsense. A good moonbath
is just the tonic you need.
145
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:19,268
Well, I don't know about Uncle Fester,
but you've talked me into one.
146
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,006
Catch.
147
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,385
You little minx.
148
00:09:55,846 --> 00:10:00,642
- Isn't this fun, Fester?
- Oh, yes. But I'm not out here for fun.
149
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,395
I'm out here to get my health back.
150
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:06,523
I'd watch myself with that reflector
the first time around.
151
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:10,027
You should work up gradually
to a nice coat of grey.
152
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,778
Very wise, darling.
153
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,907
Uncle Fester, would you like some
of Mama's goose grease?
154
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,408
Well, I had some.
155
00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:18,577
It was delicious.
156
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,205
Uncle Fester,
you're not supposed to eat it.
157
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:24,917
- You're supposed to rub it on you.
- Oh?
158
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:28,337
Maybe that's why I don't feel any better.
159
00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:34,343
Oh, now on top of everything
I've got myself a severe moonburn.
160
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,594
Shucks.
161
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:46,230
Oh, Gomez,
you were a handsome little boy.
162
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,567
- Darling, that's our son Pugsley.
- Oh?
163
00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:54,238
You're right, I thought he looked familiar.
164
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:01,286
Hello, Uncle Fester. You still alive?
165
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,624
- Well, don't I look it?
- Of course, darling.
166
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:08,252
That moonbath did wonders for you.
167
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:12,923
Don't let this outdoorsy,
athletic exterior fool you.
168
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,716
I feel rotten.
169
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,681
Thing doesn't look so hot, either.
170
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:24,810
He couldn't get past threesies
four times in a row.
171
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,937
I think there is something wrong with him.
172
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,897
Thing, are you all right?
173
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,449
Gomez, this is becoming serious.
174
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,785
I think there maybe something
contagious going around.
175
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:44,288
You may be right.
We'd better check Zelda.
176
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:47,082
Zelda, dear, are you all right?
177
00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:51,503
She sounds fine.
178
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:55,549
Gomez, isn't that sweet? She's molting.
179
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:57,426
Beautiful.
180
00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:00,929
Zelda, darling,
you're not eating your lunch.
181
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,017
Dear, there is something wrong.
182
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:08,478
She's not eating,
and that's her favorite dish. Dry bones.
183
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:13,317
Wouldn't eat her dried bones.
This is serious.
184
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,527
There's only one solution.
We've got to call a doctor.
185
00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:17,738
A doctor? Which one?
186
00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:21,116
The only one.
Our family witch doctor, Dr. Mbogo.
187
00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,499
Who did you want again?
188
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,543
Oh, Dr. Mbogo.
189
00:12:32,336 --> 00:12:34,963
Wait a minute.
I'll see if I can get a hold of him.
190
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,173
Hold on.
191
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,563
Tish, remind me
to get myself a hollow log.
192
00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:53,899
Save a lot of time by dialing direct.
193
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:57,110
They are taking a long time
getting through, aren't they?
194
00:12:57,194 --> 00:13:00,072
Yes. Well, he's probably got a hut
full of patients.
195
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:04,743
Give old Doc a good tsetse fly bite case
and he can't tear himself away.
196
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,162
Hello? Doctor?
197
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,456
Gomez Addams here.
198
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,794
Jambo to you too, Doctor.
199
00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:19,007
Doctor, we're having a spot of trouble
with Uncle Fester,
200
00:13:19,091 --> 00:13:21,134
and we'd appreciate it if you...
201
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:23,804
Really?
202
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,265
Business is that good, eh?
203
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,685
Well, if that's the way it is.
204
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,144
Goodbye.
205
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,730
What's the matter, dear?
206
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:36,275
Dr. Mbogo isn't making any more
house calls.
207
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,571
Well, we're right back
where we started from.
208
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,156
Well, now what in the world
are we going to do?
209
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,702
I should've engaged that Pygmy
witch doctor when I had the chance.
210
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,120
He was reliable.
211
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,123
Besides, he could travel for half fare.
212
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,918
This really cancels our outing,
doesn't it, Gomez?
213
00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,378
Well...
214
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,922
You mean I won't get
to catch any spiders?
215
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,799
I need some new ones.
216
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:04,094
I know, darling. But we will go someday.
217
00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:06,722
MORTICIA: After all,
Uncle Fester isn't feeling well.
218
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,599
I'm an outing pooper.
219
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,612
There's only one thing left for us to do.
220
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:24,198
Tish, remember, please. Nothing rash.
221
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:27,117
But I'm afraid the situation calls
for it, dear.
222
00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:29,411
We'll have to call a regular doctor.
223
00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:41,715
Why, thank you, Thing.
224
00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:44,259
You're still very efficient.
225
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:48,722
Darling, would you mind
handing me the phone, please?
226
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,600
- Certainly, my dear.
- Thank you.
227
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:02,611
I'll get it.
228
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,533
- Dr. Milford.
- This is Mrs. Addams.
229
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:09,243
Addams.
230
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:13,539
Yes. We have the house across the street
and down the block from you.
231
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:18,252
No, that's not empty. That's us.
232
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,213
We call it our honeymoon cottage.
233
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,882
Oh, yes, Mrs. Addams. Now I get you.
234
00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:25,592
What can I do for you?
235
00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:28,470
A member of our family
is feeling a bit under
236
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,556
and we wondered
if you could stop by today?
237
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:31,890
I'd be glad to.
238
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,725
Thank you. Goodbye.
239
00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:37,980
You think we did the right thing?
240
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:42,860
Darling, if this doctor proves inadequate,
we'll send out West for a medicine man.
241
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,371
Hello.
242
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,957
Hello, little girl.
243
00:15:57,708 --> 00:15:59,877
This is the Addams house, isn't it?
244
00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:03,380
Are you the doctor that's going
to cure Uncle Fester?
245
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,966
Well, I'm certainly going to try my best.
246
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:07,926
Where's your mask and spear?
247
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:09,428
My what?
248
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,222
The last doctor we had came like that.
249
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:14,808
Yes, well...
250
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,770
This was the best I could do on the spur
of the moment.
251
00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:21,190
I hope you can cure Uncle Fester.
252
00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:23,901
He can't even make the trains go.
253
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:26,153
Trains?
254
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,947
We haven't had a good wreck all day.
255
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:37,748
So that's what a family doctor looks like.
256
00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:41,460
He certainly doesn't inspire confidence.
Not like Dr. Mbogo.
257
00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:45,964
And I'm afraid I won't be able to settle
his fee for a few painted beads, either.
258
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:49,134
What's that little black bag he's carrying?
259
00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:50,469
I don't know, dear.
260
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:53,889
But I'm sure, because it's black,
it's something to help you.
261
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,475
I don't think I'm gonna like him.
262
00:16:56,934 --> 00:17:01,313
The white hair and those glasses.
How un-medical can he get?
263
00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:07,528
Dr. Milford.
264
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,912
How do you do, Doctor?
265
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:19,414
This is my lovely bride, Morticia.
266
00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:21,667
And this is our patient, Uncle Fester.
267
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,335
I feel fine. Go away.
268
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:26,588
I'm not going to harm you.
269
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,799
I don't like quacks.
270
00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:30,759
You'll have to forgive him.
271
00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:35,013
MORTICIA: He's used to our old family
doctor. But he's busy with his tribe.
272
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,348
Oh.
273
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:39,434
Wonderful doctor.
274
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:43,522
Cured my pneumonia by dousing me with
kerosene and pouring ashes over my head.
275
00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:46,608
Sometimes the old-fashioned remedies
are best.
276
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:51,196
Well, Doctor, would you like Mrs. Addams
and me to leave?
277
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,699
You're not gonna leave me alone with him.
278
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:58,245
No. That won't be necessary.
Not for the moment, at least.
279
00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:00,706
All right. Make yourself comfortable.
280
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:07,588
Doctor...
281
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:10,549
Now if you'll just take off your coat,
I can start my examination.
282
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:13,093
I never take my coat off. I just couldn't.
283
00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:14,887
He's really very modest.
284
00:18:16,722 --> 00:18:20,267
Well, all right. I'll try and work around it.
285
00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:22,060
Sit right here, please.
286
00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:24,062
Fester. Right.
287
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:26,773
My dear.
288
00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:31,528
Now open your mouth and say "ah."
289
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,371
This is most unusual.
290
00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:43,582
Your tongue is bright blue.
291
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:46,460
Blue? It's supposed to be green.
292
00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:48,170
FESTER: I am sick.
293
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,672
Don't worry, old boy.
We'll pull you through.
294
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:54,301
Just think about how nice
it's going to be tomorrow this time.
295
00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:57,054
That's the only thing
that's keeping me going.
296
00:18:57,137 --> 00:19:00,557
Hoping little Wednesday
gets some nice Black Widows.
297
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:11,276
Most unusual. Most unusual.
298
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:17,866
Well, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to take
one arm out of your coat for this test.
299
00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:19,076
- Never!
- But...
300
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,244
No!
301
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:27,459
Very well. I'll try it over your sleeve.
302
00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:41,974
Most unusual.
303
00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:54,152
I daresay I'll have a paper
for the medical journal from this one.
304
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,363
Interesting patient, isn't he, Doctor?
305
00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:57,739
Unbelievable.
306
00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:02,536
He does have some unusual methods,
doesn't he?
307
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:07,166
Yes, indeed. I wish he'd shake his rattles
or yell a few times
308
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,251
as Dr. Mbogo does.
309
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,795
Makes you feel like
he's accomplishing something.
310
00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:14,214
Will you open the front
of your coat, please?
311
00:20:14,298 --> 00:20:17,217
Of course not. Not in front of Morticia.
312
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:19,720
I'll look the other way, Uncle Fester.
313
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:22,848
Very well.
314
00:20:35,194 --> 00:20:37,529
What is it, Doctor? Don't spare us.
315
00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:38,906
What do you think?
316
00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:41,450
I think I'd better forget
the medical journal.
317
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:43,243
Contact Believe It or Not.
318
00:20:45,329 --> 00:20:47,748
I'd better take your temperature.
319
00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,676
GOMEZ: I took his pulse
just before you got here.
320
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:00,928
And?
321
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:04,765
Well, either my watch has stopped
or he's been dead for 20 minutes.
322
00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:08,936
He exaggerates so.
323
00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:10,896
I'm not so sure.
324
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:18,946
Three below zero?
325
00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:22,950
By Jove, he's broken the family record.
326
00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:25,410
No wonder I felt a little bit chilly.
327
00:21:25,494 --> 00:21:27,120
I'd better close the windows.
328
00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:29,790
No, no, no, that can't be right.
329
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:31,875
I'd better take another reading.
330
00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:46,181
It's very tasty.
331
00:21:47,266 --> 00:21:48,475
What have you done?
332
00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:50,227
I was so hungry...
333
00:21:52,104 --> 00:21:54,731
Poor dear hasn't touched a thing all day.
334
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:58,110
Even when he does eat he can't resist
those between-meal snacks.
335
00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:01,655
May I use your phone?
I'll have to alert the emergency hospital.
336
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:03,866
Hey, Doc,
you got another one of those things?
337
00:22:03,949 --> 00:22:05,492
Really hits the spot.
338
00:22:05,576 --> 00:22:06,910
The thermometer?
339
00:22:07,161 --> 00:22:10,622
Do you realize you've swallowed almost
a full ounce of mercury?
340
00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:12,249
Well, it's a real picker-upper.
341
00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:15,252
Now he's beginning
to look like his old self again.
342
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,587
He is?
343
00:22:16,670 --> 00:22:20,716
Dr. Milford, you're a genius,
an absolute genius.
344
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:22,551
- I am?
- I could kiss you.
345
00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:25,846
- Please.
- That was a real medical coup.
346
00:22:26,138 --> 00:22:27,639
Pure mercury with...
347
00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:34,229
Well, some of medical science's greatest
discoveries have come about by accident.
348
00:22:34,313 --> 00:22:37,566
- Accident. Isn't he the modest one?
- Yes.
349
00:22:37,858 --> 00:22:42,070
Doctor, before you go, we have one
other patient we'd like for you to look at.
350
00:22:42,154 --> 00:22:44,740
Thing hasn't been feeling well at all lately.
351
00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:46,825
- Thing?
- Yes.
352
00:22:47,451 --> 00:22:49,244
I'm all out of thermometers.
353
00:22:49,328 --> 00:22:52,664
Oh, you won't need a thermometer
for Thing. This way.
354
00:22:56,835 --> 00:22:59,505
Thing, we have a surprise for you.
355
00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:04,343
Dr. Milford has cured Uncle Fester
and now he wants to have a look at you.
356
00:23:13,310 --> 00:23:15,729
- What's the matter with him?
- Maybe he caught what you had.
357
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:16,897
Nonsense.
358
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,233
He probably just remembered
an appointment he has.
359
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:22,736
Well, he won't be able to do much
without his little black bag.
360
00:23:28,158 --> 00:23:29,743
Hey, these are tasty.
361
00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:35,582
You know, calling a family doctor
is like having your own delicatessen.
362
00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:39,336
I suppose that lets out Dr. Mbogo.
363
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:42,714
It certainly does.
Unless it's something really serious.
364
00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:02,276
Darling, isn't it wonderful
that Thing wasn't really sick?
365
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:05,612
Just depressed over our having
to cancel our outing.
366
00:24:05,821 --> 00:24:07,447
Quite so, cara mia.
367
00:24:07,781 --> 00:24:10,117
Thing always has the family's interests
at heart.
368
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,078
Back to your usual jolly yourself again,
eh, Thing?
369
00:24:20,586 --> 00:24:23,797
Looks like you're planning
something special for us, Uncle Fester.
370
00:24:23,881 --> 00:24:27,426
This will be the greatest family outing
we've ever had. Watch.
371
00:24:34,183 --> 00:24:36,894
Bravo! Bravo, Uncle Fester.
372
00:24:36,977 --> 00:24:39,438
You've really outdone yourself this time.
373
00:24:39,563 --> 00:24:43,442
From now on, Uncle Fester,
no more Christmas trees.
374
00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:45,527
We'll hang everything on you.
29260
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