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Previously on
"Southern Charm"...
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00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:03,960
Whoo-hoo! That's cold.
3
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:07,659
As the guys weekend got off
to a chilly start,
4
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:10,271
things were even icier
at Taylor's.
5
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:12,012
We're just broken.
6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:12,969
I don't know how much
of our friendship
7
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:15,450
is there to salvage.
8
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,278
- Thank you.
- Of course.
9
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,541
And when Olivia sought
refuge at Shep's,
10
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,587
she was confronted with the
case of the missing bra.
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00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:24,067
I, while we were
watching the movie,
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00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:26,461
took my bra off and tossed it.
13
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:28,811
And when I left,
hugged him bye,
14
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,030
and he was like, oh, your bra.
15
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,074
I was like, ugh,
just throw it away.
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00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:32,728
Nothing happened.
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♪ Ba-ba doo
18
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:36,253
But just when things
19
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:39,691
couldn't get more awkward,
they did.
20
00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:41,128
Hello?
21
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,043
Hi, buddy.
22
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,392
Hi.
23
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,002
Yeah.
24
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:47,830
Do you like poking the bear?
25
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,353
Do you like cheating on me?
26
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:52,791
I mean, sometimes,
it was fun.
27
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:55,446
Yeah, you----ing did,
you piece of sh--.
28
00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:57,753
- He enjoyed cheating.
- That's Shep.
29
00:00:57,753 --> 00:00:59,494
Why are you so angry?
30
00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:00,930
Because I'm the
exact person
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00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:03,367
that you----ing wish you were.
32
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:07,284
♪ It's easy
33
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:09,547
This kissing bandit
last night.
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00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,115
♪ As making you think
that you love me ♪
35
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:14,857
Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:17,860
[upbeat jazzy music]
37
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:23,126
♪
38
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,128
I like waking up
early here,
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00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,913
because you can hear birds outside.
40
00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:29,524
It's nice, isn't it?
41
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:33,180
Yeah, I feels like New York
City doesn't have any birds.
42
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,617
- Yeah, pigeons.
- We just have pigeons.
43
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:36,705
Do they talk?
44
00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:39,055
[birds chirping]
45
00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:40,535
I don't know.
46
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,756
Penny, go unpack your stuff.
47
00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:46,889
Put it away.
48
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,891
Okay.
49
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:51,198
Ballin'.
[laughs]
50
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,419
Whoo.
51
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:06,735
What did drunk Austen
order last night?
52
00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:11,348
♪
53
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:15,787
[smooth jazzy music]
54
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:22,751
♪
55
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,758
I wore this shirt for you.
[laughs]
56
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,194
I'm burning that shirt.
57
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:32,282
Good.
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00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:33,805
As soon as you
go out of town...
59
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,242
Yeah.
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00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,722
You will not find it
when you come back.
61
00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:39,637
Just like you threw away
my comic book collection.
62
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:42,945
No, it's upstairs
in the storage thing.
63
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:44,338
I can't find it.
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00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,557
- I will show it to you.
- You did something with it.
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00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:50,953
I promise you, they are all
up there in big plastic tubs.
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00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,172
Avon calling.
67
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,564
[laughter]
68
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,436
- Hey, there.
- Hey.
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00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,612
- How are you, honey?
- Good. Good to see you.
70
00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:58,743
What's up, buddy?
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00:02:58,743 --> 00:02:59,918
Hey, man.
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00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,703
Looking good, looking sharp.
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00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,444
[laughter]
74
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,010
Do you want a drink?
75
00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,838
Yeah, sure.
I'm in no rush.
76
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,144
Randy's off today.
77
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,972
Oh, yeah.
78
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:11,234
So I'll get us some martinis.
79
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,540
Okay.
80
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:13,845
[sighs]
81
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,978
- You look fantastic.
- Thank you, darling.
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00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,762
As usual.
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00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:19,373
Oh, God.
84
00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:21,070
- Green.
- Yeah.
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00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,245
- Becomes you.
- Thank you.
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00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:23,681
Yeah.
87
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:24,900
[clattering]
88
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:25,988
Oh, sh--.
89
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,337
[banging]
90
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,644
Jesus Christ.
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00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:30,645
Sh--.
92
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:31,733
[laughter]
93
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,561
Here are the martinis.
94
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,650
- All right.
- Take that, please.
95
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:36,955
Thank you.
96
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,700
There's too much vermouth.
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00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,486
[clears throat]
98
00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:47,357
Whitney is not--
99
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,490
he doesn't know how
to make cocktails.
100
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,274
He has other charms,
101
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:54,495
but making drinks
is not one of them.
102
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,627
Hey, how was--
tell me about Linville.
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00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,542
I woke up next to Taylor.
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00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:02,111
- Good Lord.
- I know.
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00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:04,113
- With Taylor?
- Yeah.
106
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,332
You can't be leading her on.
Leave her in peace.
107
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,812
I'm not.
We just kissed.
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00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,858
That's all we did.
109
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:12,339
And so there's that.
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00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,954
Well, Taylor, I think
she wanted it little more,
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00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:21,696
but we've been very good
about not backsliding.
112
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:25,613
And I really don't want that
to happen again.
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00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:28,529
You know, there are
a zillion attractive
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00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,357
young people in Charleston.
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00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:35,362
Why this group has to all sleep
with each other is beyond me.
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00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:37,233
It's, like, very incestuous.
117
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:40,845
I mean, I don't get it.
118
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:45,459
Anyway, you know I do
the guys dinner every year.
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00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,069
Dinner is served.
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00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,724
These are male
chauvinist pigs.
121
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,247
No, no, no.
122
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,553
Did you just eat the pig?
123
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:53,771
Thank you very much.
124
00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:55,425
I keep thinking
every year that you all
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00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:58,036
will get over your
Peter Pan syndrome,
126
00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:02,389
but somehow,
it keeps on in perpetuity.
127
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,304
- C'est très bien.
- Escargot.
128
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:07,176
- You just grab?
- See, look, you use clamps.
129
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:09,700
Yeah, I see that, Whitney.
130
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,180
[laughs]
131
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:14,270
So I'm thinking maybe
we should try to elevate it.
132
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:18,013
Good luck with this crowd.
133
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,407
So I'm going to get a chef
134
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:24,193
who can cook menus
from royal castles.
135
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,412
For example, I have--
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00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,805
- Wait, British royalty?
- Yeah.
137
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,894
Isn't British food, like,
famously bad, essentially?
138
00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:32,375
[laughs] No, but this is
what they serve the royals.
139
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,594
Okay.
140
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:34,986
I hate to drop names.
141
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,466
That's okay.
142
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,903
But when I was dining
at Buckingham Palace,
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00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:42,646
you come in and sit down,
and this is at your place.
144
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:46,824
And it's the Prince of Wales
feathers, you see?
145
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:50,132
But turn over, and there's
a full menu handwritten.
146
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:51,916
Yeah, that's amazing.
147
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:54,789
I thought the aspect
of royalty
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00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:57,922
will make them feel
like British aristocrats
149
00:05:57,922 --> 00:06:02,797
and might inspire them
to behave themselves.
150
00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,189
[laughs]
151
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:08,542
So this is--see if you can
figure out what it is.
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00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:11,066
9th of April, 2005.
153
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,329
Prince of Wales
and the Duchess of Cornwall.
154
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:14,635
It's a piece
of their wedding cake.
155
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,985
- Prince William?
- Prince Charles.
156
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,378
Oh.
157
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,859
Prince Charles
and Camilla sent me
158
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:24,775
a piece of their wedding cake,
and it's been in the freezer
159
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,212
since 2005.
160
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:29,258
Let's have it.
161
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:30,259
No.
162
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:34,176
[laughter]
163
00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:38,746
♪
164
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:41,096
I love when you're
in town, baby.
165
00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:44,316
I love when I'm in town too.
Look at this weather.
166
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,362
I know, right?
167
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,233
I can't believe you have to go
back to the airport tomorrow.
168
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:51,498
I know, it was 40 degrees
and raining in New York.
169
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:54,675
Oh, this looks so cute.
170
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:57,068
- Shall we?
- We shall.
171
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,201
Come on, little chicken.
172
00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:00,507
Hello.
173
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,683
You wanna sit
outside, babe?
174
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:05,120
- That would be amazing, yeah.
- Okay.
175
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,297
This is beautiful. Thank you.
- Thank you.
176
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,864
The bugs are biting my head.
177
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,474
Can you blame them, though?
178
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:12,736
Everybody wants
a little piece of that.
179
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,216
- Aw.
- [laughs]
180
00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:15,957
That was really nice.
181
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:16,914
- Hello.
- Hello.
182
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,176
- Hey, how are you?
- Good.
183
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:19,569
How are we doing this evening?
both: Good.
184
00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:20,744
Do you have any questions
on the drink menu?
185
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,224
No, I think
we'll have a bottle
186
00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,486
of your sancerre, please.
187
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:24,792
That sounds good.
188
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,968
And then I'll have
a golden ale.
189
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,013
We'll probably go through
multiple beverages.
190
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,101
Thank you.
191
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,799
You got me a whole bottle?
192
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,540
No, I'm gonna
have a glass, too.
193
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,802
I was gonna say, we date.
194
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,760
You don't have to do this.
195
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,893
I'm gonna take my jacket off...
- Okay.
196
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:41,504
And wear it
like the cool girls wear it.
197
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:44,333
Well, you taught the
cool girls how to do it.
198
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,813
- Yeah.
- There you are.
199
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,205
The other drinks will be
out for you in a little bit.
200
00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:48,555
- Oh, thank you.
- What can I get for y'all?
201
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,687
I'm between the pork chop
and the duck.
202
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,080
Well, you get one,
and I'll get the other.
203
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,473
There you go.
I'll put that right in for you.
204
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,996
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
205
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,693
Cheers.
206
00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:59,217
How do you feel about
how the house is coming?
207
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,567
I love it.
208
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,177
I think it's so cute,
and I think
209
00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:06,007
it's still, like, masculine
enough but, like, a home.
210
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:08,139
It's put together,
it's organized,
211
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,446
and it's like a real house.
212
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,101
Really, the only thing more
that I, like, feel like
213
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:16,844
we really need are night-side
tables and curtains.
214
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,323
I mean, you always said--
you were like, look,
215
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:20,761
I loved visiting you when
it was a construction site,
216
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,458
but, you know,
I wanted somewhere
217
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:23,981
that you felt at home, too.
218
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:26,897
I do think about, though,
like, oh, my God,
219
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:31,293
what if I was, like,
with child right now?
220
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:34,470
I'm not, but I, like, got,
like, nervous for a second.
221
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:38,692
And my first thought was,
I have to move to Charleston.
222
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,084
Look, I think
with me, it's just, like,
223
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:43,305
I've always wanted
a wife and children
224
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,742
and, like, a family.
225
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:47,048
Are you trying to marry me?
226
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:49,311
One day.
227
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:51,531
You know, some days,
I fantasize about it.
228
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,663
Who you marry
is the biggest decision
229
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:57,014
of your----ing life.
230
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:58,146
I know.
231
00:08:58,146 --> 00:09:00,322
But also,
we've only been together
232
00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:01,628
for a year and a half.
233
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,630
You gotta really
think about that.
234
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,806
Like, I still feel
like we're young.
235
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:10,462
There's real-life obstacles
that we have to work through.
236
00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:13,248
A lot of those obstacles
are being put there by Paige.
237
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:15,729
Not unfairly, but they are.
238
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,295
We don't live
in the same place.
239
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,297
You know, we can't just
make up that, like, one day,
240
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:22,605
we have this family
if we don't live together.
241
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:25,216
Look, I knew one of
the concerns you had,
242
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,436
in order for you to spend
more time down here,
243
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:28,655
is, like,
building a social circle.
244
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,091
Like, how's that going?
245
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:33,485
Yeah, I mean, yeah,
if I moved down here,
246
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:36,793
like, I'd wanna be able
to be, like, get my own car
247
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,142
and be, like, okay,
I'm gonna go hang out
248
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:40,405
with my girlfriends.
- Yeah, I would love that.
249
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:41,537
If I had friends?
250
00:09:41,537 --> 00:09:44,932
[laughs]
Same.
251
00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:48,152
But, like, let's be honest,
girls are the worst.
252
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:53,549
And making friends
in your 30s is so different.
253
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:56,073
I mean, I obviously
like Madison.
254
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:57,597
Like, would you hang out
with her, you know,
255
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,773
as, like, a girlfriend?
256
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,818
She would be a girlfriend
in my friend group.
257
00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:04,038
You met a friend, yay.
258
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,648
I love friends.
259
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,215
No, I really like her.
260
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:10,435
Well, look at us,
building that social circle.
261
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:13,700
All right, all we
need right now--
262
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,223
let's get you pregnant.
263
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:16,224
No.
264
00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:17,312
[laughs]
265
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:18,618
Coming up.
266
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,663
I think that the kiss
might have been
267
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,839
more of like an apology.
268
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,275
You kiss people
as an apology?
269
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:30,455
[upbeat jazzy music]
270
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:35,765
♪
271
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:36,940
- Hello, hello.
- Hi.
272
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,289
- How are you doing?
- How are you?
273
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,813
- Good. Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
274
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,379
Doing well.
How's it going?
275
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:43,512
Good.
Do you like espresso martinis?
276
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:44,774
- I do.
- Okay.
277
00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:46,646
So we're known for that.
- I've had them here.
278
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,387
Two espresso martinis, absolutely.
279
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:50,606
Well, we got plenty
of daylight left,
280
00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:51,825
so we'll be okay.
281
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,391
- Yeah, I feel we'll be okay.
- Yeah.
282
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:55,306
Even in my party days, I feel
like I've never seen you,
283
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:56,786
like, out of your mind.
284
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,266
I keep it, like, pretty much
consistent, you know?
285
00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:00,311
Yeah, like, I always laugh,
like, even when, like,
286
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,878
we're hanging out
with our friends or whatever,
287
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:03,314
and it's like,
people are getting messy,
288
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:06,056
and I'm like, so me and Rod
don't really do that.
289
00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:07,841
'cause we're actually
more scared of our parents
290
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:10,670
than even jail.
- I know, yeah.
291
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:14,978
I've known Leva, probably, for,
God, 14 years now, I think.
292
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,632
Cheers. Appreciate it.
- Thank you.
293
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:17,981
Is there, like,
a way to do this
294
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,592
so I don't get, like,
an espresso mustache?
295
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:24,074
Yeah, I mean, we're Persians,
so we were born with mustaches.
296
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:26,033
I came out the womb with
a mustache, but that's okay.
297
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,469
Yeah, we go back
pretty far, you know?
298
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:28,862
There's not a lot of Persians
in Charleston.
299
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:30,820
There's, like, six of us,
and, like,
300
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,344
two of us we see out, so yeah.
301
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,303
It's funny,
'cause when Olivia met you--
302
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,174
everyone comes to me when
they meet somebody, right?
303
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:39,263
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I know the real tea.
304
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,525
And she, like, came to me,
and I was like,
305
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,484
Rod's, like, solid.
306
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,442
She kept calling you
the Persian Prince.
307
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:47,054
I was like, yep, that's right.
308
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,969
Rod is like a party guy,
309
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:50,710
but I do think that Rod
310
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,537
is very serious
about settling down,
311
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:55,192
not like the other
Lost Boys in Charleston.
312
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:56,628
I think he's a good catch.
313
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:59,022
Well, Olivia, I don't know.
314
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,721
It's like, we had a lot
of good momentum for a while.
315
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,287
Just, things were
going really well,
316
00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:05,637
and then, like, I could kind of
feel something was off.
317
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:08,162
Whether it's Austen or someone
else or whatever's happening,
318
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:09,641
I can feel her
pulling away from me.
319
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:10,904
Yeah.
320
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,775
You are literally
the perfect guy,
321
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:15,212
but, like, I have,
like, this hesitation
322
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,345
of getting in a relationship.
323
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,916
From what I know of her,
I feel like there's
324
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:25,135
a safety in her being, like,
this is the devil I know,
325
00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:28,399
as opposed to, like, she might
think you're wonderful,
326
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:30,706
but she's like, but--
- I hide it really well.
327
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,186
Yeah, like,
'cause in her mind,
328
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:33,753
she probably thought
Austen was great
329
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,015
when she met Austen, right?
- Right.
330
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,886
And then she's just like,
I'm not capable
331
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,801
of being, like,
broken right now.
332
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,107
Yeah.
333
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:42,413
With Austen, she was
thinking he's a schmuck.
334
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:43,806
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?
335
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:46,548
She got away,
and now she's vulnerable.
336
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:50,857
And then now, he has
slithered and leaned in.
337
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:53,294
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Like, you know what I mean?
338
00:12:54,991 --> 00:13:02,129
♪
339
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:15,664
Hello.
[laughs]
340
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,884
You snuck up on me.
341
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,233
Hi. How are you?
342
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:20,800
- Good to see you.
- Look at you.
343
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,279
Are you kidding?
344
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,803
I don't know if you're
allowed to drink in a park.
345
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,891
- I don't either.
- Are you?
346
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,022
[BLEEP] it. I'm sorry.
347
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:28,633
All right,
so here's what we got.
348
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,070
- Wow, a charcut?
- Yeah.
349
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,158
- Wow.
- It's pretty fresh too.
350
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,333
Look at that. Oh, my gosh.
351
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,508
You can tell.
Unopened, sealed.
352
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:34,814
Yeah, it is fresh.
353
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,119
Do you wanna pop this,
or do you--
354
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,252
let's just pop it.
- Let's pop it.
355
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,862
[laughs] Okay.
- Sorry.
356
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,951
I don't wanna litter,
and I don't wanna kill you, so.
357
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,692
[laughs] Okay.
358
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,868
Don't hit me.
359
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:46,869
Are you gonna catch it?
[cork pops]
360
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,392
Oh, sh--!
361
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,829
Here.
362
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,308
I love that we just
popped champagne in a park.
363
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,833
It's pretty good
champagne too.
364
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,530
Taylor's very social. So am I.
365
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,532
So we started hanging out
in downtown Charleston,
366
00:13:57,532 --> 00:14:00,143
and we went to, like, Europe
together with some friends.
367
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,015
You know, I don't
wanna sound cheesy,
368
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,104
but she's a good woman,
and instantly, we clicked.
369
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:05,540
And so it feels like
I've known her for 20 years,
370
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,324
even though it's only been,
you know, one or two.
371
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:11,851
I wanna just toast you
for surviving the mountains.
372
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,069
Thank you.
373
00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,854
Do you like cheating on me?
374
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,856
[scoffs]
375
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,466
I mean, sometimes, it's fun.
376
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:24,472
It was just, like, a surreal
moment that he said that.
377
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:27,475
It was hard to watch,
but I have your back.
378
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,999
But we're all
watching this unfold.
379
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,609
You guys had your thing.
- Yeah.
380
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,568
And then we're watching
you guys wake up together.
381
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,831
No, I think that
the kiss might have been
382
00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,486
more of like an apology.
383
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:40,053
You kiss people
as an apology?
384
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,056
I don't know.
385
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:45,362
I mean, how many times
did we go into the room
386
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,451
and go to sleep?
Like, that's just--
387
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,889
- Familiarity.
- Yeah, that's what it was.
388
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:54,850
And I'm gonna be, like, the
simp that goes running back.
389
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,939
And I don't know.
390
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,028
The second that
Shep and I broke up,
391
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,464
I should have
gotten a therapist.
392
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,205
I'm noticing
a trend with you.
393
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,511
You got burned.
- I got burned.
394
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:04,904
So now you're like,
oh, I'm burned.
395
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,253
I'm very badly burned.
396
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,863
So now I'm gonna
fry everybody else.
397
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,386
So now you have
your flamethrower,
398
00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:11,867
and you're just cooking
everybody, burning everybody.
399
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:14,739
Shep with Austen
and then Olivia.
400
00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:17,481
Yes, you're a queen, but you
shouldn't abuse your power.
401
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:20,049
So the conversation
is like, hey, Olivia,
402
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,224
I'm interested in Austen.
403
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,791
Austen to Olivia and Shep,
hey, like,
404
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,662
I'm really in love with Taylor.
Like, I wanna explore.
405
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:26,360
I think I caught
him off guard, though.
406
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,839
That's the thing.
- So you initiated it?
407
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:28,971
I'm so confused.
- I initiated it.
408
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,930
- With Austen?
- Correct.
409
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,409
Wow, okay.
410
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:34,237
I take full responsibility
for that.
411
00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:37,545
Wow, that's a bombshell.
412
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:40,026
I mean, it would be weird and
crazy and wild, but it's not,
413
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,592
like, the first time
it's ever happened.
414
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:44,247
Two couples break up,
a best friend and best friend,
415
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:47,250
and then they end up together.
416
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,599
It's like, I'm a human being,
417
00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,688
and there could have been
a real connection there,
418
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,734
but there just--there wasn't.
419
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,997
I did not wanna hurt Olivia.
420
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,738
If anything,
I would wanna have hurt Shep
421
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:58,131
more than ever Olivia.
422
00:15:58,131 --> 00:15:59,262
I would never
wanna hurt Olivia.
423
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:01,047
- But you, again--
- And I did.
424
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:03,484
- I know you did.
- And it really sucks.
425
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:06,356
And I don't know
if it will get better.
426
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:09,490
I don't know. I don't know.
427
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:10,795
Yeah.
428
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:14,495
[apprehensive music]
429
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:15,931
Coming up.
430
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:17,628
Shep, why don't you say,
like, I think it's crazy,
431
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:19,456
and I don't know how to be
friends with you anymore?
432
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:21,284
'Cause if he hooked up
with Paige,
433
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,721
I wouldn't know how to be
friends with him anymore.
434
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:29,597
[upbeat jazzy music]
435
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,686
♪
436
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:32,687
[dog barks]
437
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,036
Oh, don't you
come in barking.
438
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,516
[barking continues]
Shh.
439
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:37,605
Oy, oy.
440
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,215
Unnecessary.
441
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:44,394
[line trills]
442
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,441
Good.
443
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:50,357
But, more importantly,
we're having the dinner here.
444
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:51,445
Remember we talked about it?
445
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:54,491
Usually,
Mom would be hosting,
446
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,319
but she----ed up her back,
and she's laid up, so.
447
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,669
Yeah.
448
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,497
Good morning.
- Hi, Honey. Thank you.
449
00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,543
Hi. Sure.
450
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:05,067
It's black.
I can't drink black coffee.
451
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:06,547
Okay. I'll redo it.
452
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,679
You'd think you'd know
how your own mother
453
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,638
likes her coffee
after 82,000 years.
454
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,683
Well, we don't have any
cream here in the house.
455
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:17,384
This is a cautionary tale.
456
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:20,474
I got out of bed
at 5:00 in the morning,
457
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:24,086
and the next thing I knew,
I was flat on my back
458
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,610
in excruciating pain
on the floor.
459
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:29,396
Put some of that oat milk
that you drink in there.
460
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:32,051
And can I have it
in the blue and white cups
461
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,750
that match the décor
instead of this Versace thing?
462
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,273
Okay.
463
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:40,102
And the result is
that I had compression
464
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,844
fracture of the spine.
465
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:46,413
It usually takes six months
for bones to heal.
466
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:49,546
And if you're older,
it takes even longer.
467
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:54,595
And I'm no spring chicken,
even though you might think so.
468
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:56,031
[laughs]
469
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:58,599
So I'm resuming
hosting duties.
470
00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:02,559
The attire is either dinner
or smoking jacket.
471
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,605
And I look forward
to seeing you, man.
472
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,086
Talk to you later, man. Bye.
473
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:14,180
♪
474
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:16,573
Oh.
475
00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:21,796
Hello.
- Welcome in.
476
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,058
Hi.
477
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:24,015
Can I have a table
for two, please?
478
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,713
Absolutely.
479
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,062
Perfect.
Thank you so much.
480
00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:28,194
Of course.
481
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,153
[both laugh]
482
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,677
- Hi. You look good.
- Thank you.
483
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,679
I'm trying to, like, dress for
the mood that I wanna be in.
484
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:38,900
And I'm dressed like I'm
about to kick somebody's ass.
485
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:40,336
So what's new?
486
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:42,338
Oh, my God.
487
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,166
Welcome in. Welcome in.
How are you?
488
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,689
- Good How are you?
- Good, good.
489
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,256
Did you guys wanna get
started with any drinks?
490
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:49,432
Yeah, I'll do
a raspberry mimosa.
491
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:50,781
Could I also do
a mimosa with peach?
492
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:52,131
- Yeah.
- What about nachos?
493
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,480
Yum.
494
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,785
I'll send that all over
for you guys.
495
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:56,657
I love it. Okay, miss.
496
00:18:56,657 --> 00:19:00,356
I just got back from
Fashion Week five hours ago.
497
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:03,229
I felt like I was ten times
busier this go-around.
498
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,144
I couldn't even keep up
with the Instagram.
499
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,450
I was like, she's here,
she's there, she's there.
500
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,235
I was like, oh, my God.
I was like, Venita.
501
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:10,671
And you do that
15 times in a day.
502
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:12,325
Bitch, I saw you guys
were like,
503
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,326
"Mm..."
- I was like, hi. Hi.
504
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:15,458
Hey. I love it.
505
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,809
I have to say, Venita is,
like, a supermodel,
506
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:19,767
which is why I like her.
507
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,203
So good.
508
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,857
I'm very proud of you.
- Thank you.
509
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,250
You're awesome.
510
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,338
All righty, I've got
your peach mimosa
511
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:26,556
right there for you.
- Thank you.
512
00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:27,818
And have
your raspberry mimosa.
513
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:28,993
- Okay.
- Thank you so much.
514
00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:30,604
Thanks so much, you guys.
515
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:33,520
Well, speaking of New York,
what's going on with Manny?
516
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,218
It's good. It's all good.
517
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,698
Guess what?
- What?
518
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,526
Our anniversary is tomorrow.
519
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,354
You remember where we were at
520
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:42,529
when I asked you to be
my girlfriend?
521
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,618
Yeah. We were at Felix.
522
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:45,532
Mm-hmm.
523
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:47,534
That was amazing.
- Yeah.
524
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:49,362
Can you believe we've
been together this long?
525
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,842
Eight months.
526
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:52,887
Don't [BLEEP] it up.
527
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:55,933
[laughter]
528
00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,676
Here's the pulled pork
nachos for you guys.
529
00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:00,938
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
530
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:02,723
Thanks, guys.
531
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:05,073
So what's it like
being married
532
00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:06,422
and being long distance?
533
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:08,032
I feel that's
a whole nother ball game.
534
00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:10,078
I mean, honestly, you know,
with Hudson, I mean,
535
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,601
I have joint custody with him.
536
00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:14,300
If I can be separated
from my child
537
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,084
for a short period of time,
then I can
538
00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:17,520
be separated from my husband.
539
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,130
Your husband, yeah.
540
00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:20,784
But that could change,
because we're talking about,
541
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:23,222
like, having a baby.
- Ah!
542
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,267
- Yeah.
- Whoa. More kids.
543
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,834
- Oh, my God.
- Like, more.
544
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:29,489
- More, yeah. Yeah.
- Another.
545
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:32,100
So I mean, this time,
I want it to be planned
546
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,580
and, like, take our time.
547
00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:35,756
That's amazing, though.
548
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,801
I mean, we literally fall
asleep holding hands at night.
549
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,412
Like, I don't even tell people
sh-- like that, but, like--
550
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,892
- You?
- Yes, me.
551
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:44,765
Look at us,
husband, boyfriend.
552
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:48,290
Who would have thought?
[both laugh]
553
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:54,992
♪
554
00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:58,866
- There he is.
- What's up?
555
00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:00,302
Long time no see.
556
00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:04,132
I think I'm gonna get a beer.
557
00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:05,481
What do you want?
558
00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:06,874
A Trop Hop.
559
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:08,484
Ooh, I'll try
the brisket, please.
560
00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:10,834
- The brisket?
- Thank you.
561
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:12,401
I would be happy
living in an island
562
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,316
and bartending
for the rest of my life.
563
00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:16,013
I would.
- Yeah? An island?
564
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:17,319
Alternative life.
565
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,799
Yeah, like,
being in the Bahamas.
566
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:22,585
I mean, two texts
from Olivia.
567
00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:23,978
- Saying what?
- I don't know.
568
00:21:23,978 --> 00:21:26,328
I don't know, you know?
She's just texting me.
569
00:21:28,461 --> 00:21:30,158
There's a lot of
unresolved feelings there.
570
00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:32,813
She wants to like you,
and then she remembers
571
00:21:32,813 --> 00:21:34,510
that you did
something nefarious.
572
00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:35,772
Look, I get it.
573
00:21:35,772 --> 00:21:37,992
Her head is all over the place.
- Right.
574
00:21:37,992 --> 00:21:40,516
And that's why I'm not trying
to jumble it up any further
575
00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:45,347
with, like, other than trying
to be her friend.
576
00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:49,177
I'm not preachy
with you ever,
577
00:21:49,177 --> 00:21:51,788
but you know my theory on,
like, spending time with exes,
578
00:21:51,788 --> 00:21:53,486
'cause that's what just
happened with Taylor and Shep.
579
00:21:53,486 --> 00:21:54,791
I know, man.
580
00:21:54,791 --> 00:21:56,227
I am compartmentalizing
in the best way
581
00:21:56,227 --> 00:21:59,143
that I possibly can
to be friends with her.
582
00:21:59,143 --> 00:22:02,451
We blame Charleston
for being too incestuous
583
00:22:02,451 --> 00:22:04,235
and that we can't get away
from our exes.
584
00:22:04,235 --> 00:22:07,935
And I think Austen
fell in that hole,
585
00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:09,806
but he's really
trying to figure out
586
00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:12,200
how to do the right thing.
587
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,202
- The brisket sandwich for you?
- Yes, thank you so much.
588
00:22:14,202 --> 00:22:15,551
Perfect.
- Awesome.
589
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:16,683
And some silverware as well.
Oh, you have some.
590
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:18,337
- Can I just do another can?
- Yeah.
591
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,513
I actually was
very proud of you,
592
00:22:20,513 --> 00:22:23,211
like, how you handled
JT coming at you,
593
00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:24,386
you didn't get pissed off.
594
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,605
You handled it so well.
595
00:22:25,605 --> 00:22:28,042
And then with Shep,
596
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:29,870
you didn't do anything
that night to, like--
597
00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:33,613
well, you hooked up
with his girlfriend, but...
598
00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:36,877
Austen's been against me
since the----ing day one.
599
00:22:36,877 --> 00:22:38,705
You never tell your friends
when you [BLEEP] up.
600
00:22:38,705 --> 00:22:40,184
God forbid you were honest.
601
00:22:43,013 --> 00:22:45,407
And that drives him mad,
because when he was talking
602
00:22:45,407 --> 00:22:46,713
to me, he was like,
me and Taylor,
603
00:22:46,713 --> 00:22:49,193
we used to make fun of you.
And I'm like--
604
00:22:49,193 --> 00:22:51,021
- He said that?
- Yeah.
605
00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:53,415
Shep has seemingly
forgiven me,
606
00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:58,202
but I just know this is not the
last that I've heard of this.
607
00:22:58,202 --> 00:22:59,421
I feel that Taylor--
608
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:00,770
that was the most
pathetic thing
609
00:23:00,770 --> 00:23:02,163
I've ever seen in my life.
- Yeah.
610
00:23:02,163 --> 00:23:05,209
That was the most
pathetic maneuver of hers.
611
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:06,863
What?
612
00:23:06,863 --> 00:23:08,735
Quite literally, he said that
it was fun to cheat on her.
613
00:23:08,735 --> 00:23:10,563
And then she ended up
in bed with him.
614
00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:12,129
That's how I feel about that.
615
00:23:12,129 --> 00:23:13,653
Well, you were her confidant
for a long time.
616
00:23:13,653 --> 00:23:15,655
I know that,
and I'm not gonna be there
617
00:23:15,655 --> 00:23:17,178
to pick up the pieces,
you know, next time.
618
00:23:17,178 --> 00:23:19,746
[tense music]
619
00:23:19,746 --> 00:23:21,617
I've told her, you know,
respect herself
620
00:23:21,617 --> 00:23:24,272
and demand more respect
from other people,
621
00:23:24,272 --> 00:23:25,839
but she's not listening.
622
00:23:25,839 --> 00:23:29,538
And it's just like,
you can lead a horse to water,
623
00:23:29,538 --> 00:23:30,800
but you can't make it drink.
624
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,759
I'm not gonna have a talk
with her about it,
625
00:23:32,759 --> 00:23:34,282
and I'm not gonna have a talk,
you know,
626
00:23:34,282 --> 00:23:36,502
with Shep about him
yelling at me, either.
627
00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:38,068
There's no----ing
point anymore.
628
00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:41,681
♪
629
00:23:41,681 --> 00:23:43,117
Coming up.
630
00:23:43,117 --> 00:23:46,468
Austen, Taylor's car
is at my house.
631
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:47,687
Did you bone?
632
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:55,477
[upbeat jazzy music]
633
00:23:55,477 --> 00:24:01,483
♪
634
00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:02,789
- How you doing?
- Hey, man.
635
00:24:02,789 --> 00:24:04,355
What's going on?
How are you?
636
00:24:04,355 --> 00:24:05,922
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you, too, man.
637
00:24:05,922 --> 00:24:07,228
So what's the menu
for this evening?
638
00:24:07,228 --> 00:24:08,751
So you have your
beef Wellington,
639
00:24:08,751 --> 00:24:10,057
and that's
with the sauce bordelaise.
640
00:24:10,057 --> 00:24:11,711
- Okay. Okay.
- With the asparagus.
641
00:24:11,711 --> 00:24:14,191
And this is your parmesanas,
which is almost like a gratin.
642
00:24:14,191 --> 00:24:15,410
Good.
643
00:24:15,410 --> 00:24:16,629
I'm putting
the Wellington in at 6:00.
644
00:24:16,629 --> 00:24:18,021
Okay.
645
00:24:18,021 --> 00:24:19,458
30 minutes,
and it rests 10 minutes.
646
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:21,068
6:40, they have to be in
their seat, ready to start.
647
00:24:21,068 --> 00:24:22,286
Done.
648
00:24:22,286 --> 00:24:24,550
And if they're not,
bring it out anyway.
649
00:24:24,550 --> 00:24:27,944
It was up to me, I would not be
doing a royal dinner
650
00:24:27,944 --> 00:24:30,686
in honor of an anachronistic monarch.
651
00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:33,167
Sorry, Chuck.
[chuckles]
652
00:24:33,167 --> 00:24:34,385
I call him Chuck.
653
00:24:34,385 --> 00:24:35,822
He loves that.
654
00:24:35,822 --> 00:24:38,781
So I'm gonna come in
with the beef Wellington.
655
00:24:38,781 --> 00:24:40,870
Now, all you guys doing
for proper service.
656
00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:42,306
We look at each other
in the eye.
657
00:24:42,306 --> 00:24:43,786
I nod my head.
658
00:24:43,786 --> 00:24:46,659
We pass right down here.
You walk out.
659
00:24:46,659 --> 00:24:50,271
You're just a penguin for the
night, and there, we're good.
660
00:24:50,271 --> 00:24:53,579
Your mom said that you had
trays for the asparagus,
661
00:24:53,579 --> 00:24:54,971
for the Wellington.
662
00:24:54,971 --> 00:24:56,190
I don't think she
wants me to bring it out here
663
00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:58,714
in a sheet pan.
664
00:24:58,714 --> 00:25:00,063
I have no idea
where they are.
665
00:25:00,063 --> 00:25:01,761
I don't know where the [BLEEP]
all this sh-- is.
666
00:25:01,761 --> 00:25:04,590
Can I use this
for the Wellington?
667
00:25:04,590 --> 00:25:06,679
I mean, I suppose.
668
00:25:06,679 --> 00:25:08,550
That didn't sound
too confident.
669
00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:10,030
I've been to formal dinners.
670
00:25:10,030 --> 00:25:12,206
I've been lucky enough
to go to Blenheim
671
00:25:12,206 --> 00:25:17,516
and other country estates,
but I'm not usually the host.
672
00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,735
[line trills]
673
00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:21,476
- Hello?
- Hi.
674
00:25:21,476 --> 00:25:23,478
So a couple questions.
- How's it going?
675
00:25:23,478 --> 00:25:25,567
It's going very well.
676
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,787
The centerpiece,
on or off the table?
677
00:25:32,966 --> 00:25:34,402
You can't, okay.
678
00:25:34,402 --> 00:25:36,796
Question number two,
why are all these footmen
679
00:25:36,796 --> 00:25:39,233
here or whatever?
What's the purpose?
680
00:25:48,851 --> 00:25:52,028
Well, proper in, like,
the 1790s, but I mean--
681
00:25:52,028 --> 00:25:53,029
[laughs]
682
00:25:55,815 --> 00:25:57,164
Right, okay.
683
00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:01,255
Okay. Bye. Bye.
684
00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:03,953
[sighs]
685
00:26:03,953 --> 00:26:09,872
♪
686
00:26:09,872 --> 00:26:11,526
[doorbell rings]
687
00:26:14,398 --> 00:26:15,399
Well, well.
688
00:26:15,399 --> 00:26:16,705
Right turn, old boy.
- What's up?
689
00:26:16,705 --> 00:26:18,228
Come here.
Come here, child.
690
00:26:18,228 --> 00:26:19,752
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you, man.
691
00:26:19,752 --> 00:26:21,231
How you doing?
- How's your mom?
692
00:26:21,231 --> 00:26:22,798
She's good, she's good,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
693
00:26:22,798 --> 00:26:23,756
- Good, good.
- You good?
694
00:26:23,756 --> 00:26:25,018
Yeah.
695
00:26:25,018 --> 00:26:26,236
Can I get you
anything to drink?
696
00:26:26,236 --> 00:26:27,673
We do have the two
specialty cocktails,
697
00:26:27,673 --> 00:26:29,370
the King Charles
and the Jubilee cocktail,
698
00:26:29,370 --> 00:26:30,632
if you want one of those.
699
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:32,329
You know what?
Hit me with your best shot.
700
00:26:32,329 --> 00:26:33,417
You got it.
701
00:26:33,417 --> 00:26:34,767
Wow. Look at you.
702
00:26:34,767 --> 00:26:36,638
You threw it together.
- I know.
703
00:26:36,638 --> 00:26:39,293
This old thing?
[laughs]
704
00:26:40,947 --> 00:26:43,297
- It was out back.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
705
00:26:43,297 --> 00:26:44,603
Let me smack
one of these cars.
706
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:45,778
Come on, get me close.
707
00:26:45,778 --> 00:26:46,909
- Man, you're not doing that.
- Why?
708
00:26:46,909 --> 00:26:48,737
Why do you wanna touch it?
709
00:26:48,737 --> 00:26:49,738
Just 'cause.
710
00:26:49,738 --> 00:26:51,044
[phone dings]
711
00:26:51,044 --> 00:26:52,698
Mom sent a text.
712
00:26:52,698 --> 00:26:55,265
She said, "Put a wee-wee pad
down on the white sofa
713
00:26:55,265 --> 00:26:58,268
for when Craig sits down."
- For Craig, yeah. [laughs]
714
00:26:58,268 --> 00:27:00,444
Oh, Craig.
715
00:27:00,444 --> 00:27:03,926
For some reason, he and Craig
were drinking blueberry wine.
716
00:27:03,926 --> 00:27:05,885
- It tastes like sugar.
- Was that at the winery?
717
00:27:05,885 --> 00:27:07,408
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
718
00:27:07,408 --> 00:27:09,279
When we went fishing,
he was just talking about,
719
00:27:09,279 --> 00:27:11,717
like, I guess he's already
kind of broached the line
720
00:27:11,717 --> 00:27:14,197
of asking Paige about marriage.
721
00:27:14,197 --> 00:27:17,418
You know, if it was up to me,
I would like to be engaged
722
00:27:17,418 --> 00:27:19,072
by the end of the year.
- Oh, wow.
723
00:27:19,072 --> 00:27:21,770
But it does feel like
we're spinning in circles.
724
00:27:21,770 --> 00:27:23,642
That's fair.
725
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:26,862
She wasn't too--like, she's,
you know, I guess kind of got--
726
00:27:26,862 --> 00:27:29,430
Cold feet.
727
00:27:29,430 --> 00:27:34,304
All right, Craig, your horse
and buggy have arrived.
728
00:27:34,304 --> 00:27:38,134
Heck, yeah, golf cart,
only way to travel.
729
00:27:38,134 --> 00:27:40,006
She might have
a different plan for her life
730
00:27:40,006 --> 00:27:41,529
than the old--
731
00:27:41,529 --> 00:27:44,488
the white picket fence and the
pool that never is ready.
732
00:27:44,488 --> 00:27:46,882
Open up the door!
733
00:27:46,882 --> 00:27:48,101
We here.
734
00:27:48,101 --> 00:27:49,972
[doorbell rings]
- Oh, my God.
735
00:27:49,972 --> 00:27:50,973
Speak of the devil.
736
00:27:50,973 --> 00:27:53,715
We're here, bitches.
737
00:27:53,715 --> 00:27:55,978
- Uh-oh.
- [BLEEP] yeah.
738
00:27:55,978 --> 00:27:57,676
Oh, sh--. What's up?
739
00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:59,895
Yeah.
740
00:27:59,895 --> 00:28:01,375
Very, very sharp.
741
00:28:01,375 --> 00:28:03,116
Hello, sir.
742
00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:05,509
Well, thank you for coming.
743
00:28:05,509 --> 00:28:06,859
Gentlemen.
744
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:09,905
Love it.
745
00:28:09,905 --> 00:28:11,298
- We're in robes.
- What's up, man?
746
00:28:11,298 --> 00:28:13,779
You chose burgundy,
of course.
747
00:28:13,779 --> 00:28:15,824
So did I.
748
00:28:15,824 --> 00:28:17,565
What's up?
749
00:28:20,437 --> 00:28:22,178
All right, are you
about to offer something?
750
00:28:22,178 --> 00:28:23,876
Yes, yes.
So we have drinks coming.
751
00:28:23,876 --> 00:28:25,573
We'll get two more.
752
00:28:25,573 --> 00:28:27,401
- Oh, my gosh.
- Thank you, Randolph.
753
00:28:27,401 --> 00:28:28,750
You're welcome.
754
00:28:28,750 --> 00:28:30,273
This is the King Charles.
755
00:28:30,273 --> 00:28:32,711
It looks like a spaniel.
756
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:33,712
On the rocks.
757
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:35,322
So this is--
758
00:28:35,322 --> 00:28:37,585
- To, uh, to Patricia.
- Patricia.
759
00:28:37,585 --> 00:28:39,282
May she be in better health
very soon.
760
00:28:39,282 --> 00:28:40,849
Thank you, thank you.
761
00:28:40,849 --> 00:28:42,851
Hey, Patricia,
we're thinking about you.
762
00:28:42,851 --> 00:28:45,027
I love you, boo.
763
00:28:45,027 --> 00:28:46,507
[laughs]
764
00:28:49,771 --> 00:28:51,251
So what's up, boys?
765
00:28:51,251 --> 00:28:53,166
Haven't seen you guys
in a hot minute.
766
00:28:53,166 --> 00:28:54,254
I mean, yeah.
767
00:28:54,254 --> 00:28:55,864
We haven't really talked.
768
00:28:55,864 --> 00:28:57,474
It's been a week but, like--
769
00:28:57,474 --> 00:28:59,346
Hey, Austen.
770
00:28:59,346 --> 00:29:02,001
Taylor's dog, Penny,
is at my house,
771
00:29:02,001 --> 00:29:03,437
and her car is at my house.
772
00:29:03,437 --> 00:29:06,353
[tense music]
773
00:29:06,353 --> 00:29:07,963
We had lunch today together.
774
00:29:07,963 --> 00:29:09,095
Did you bone?
775
00:29:15,101 --> 00:29:16,363
Hey, Austen.
776
00:29:16,363 --> 00:29:20,019
Taylor's car is at my house.
777
00:29:20,019 --> 00:29:21,716
We had lunch today together.
778
00:29:21,716 --> 00:29:23,239
Did you bone?
779
00:29:23,239 --> 00:29:26,808
[tense music]
780
00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:28,897
♪
781
00:29:28,897 --> 00:29:31,030
No.
782
00:29:31,030 --> 00:29:32,509
Did you not hook up
in the mountains?
783
00:29:32,509 --> 00:29:35,991
We made out,
and then I passed out.
784
00:29:35,991 --> 00:29:37,993
And she came in,
like, 20 minutes later
785
00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:39,821
and tried to wake me up.
786
00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:41,736
I was like, rah.
787
00:29:43,564 --> 00:29:45,392
Austen, why are you so quiet?
788
00:29:46,306 --> 00:29:49,091
'Cause I'm just reveling
in y'all's company.
789
00:29:49,091 --> 00:29:50,484
Oh.
790
00:29:53,704 --> 00:29:54,662
I gotta go pee.
791
00:29:58,448 --> 00:30:00,059
All right, let's get
some Wellington out.
792
00:30:00,059 --> 00:30:03,062
[upbeat jazzy music]
793
00:30:03,062 --> 00:30:05,194
Perfect every time.
794
00:30:05,194 --> 00:30:06,848
How does that happen?
795
00:30:06,848 --> 00:30:08,023
I'll take that out for you.
796
00:30:08,023 --> 00:30:09,459
Thank you, sir.
797
00:30:09,459 --> 00:30:11,200
Craig, let's do
something tomorrow.
798
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:12,549
On Sunday?
799
00:30:12,549 --> 00:30:14,377
Dude, I'm not gonna lie to you, Shep,
800
00:30:14,377 --> 00:30:16,640
I've been a little bit
of a hermit recently.
801
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,685
No sh--.
802
00:30:17,685 --> 00:30:19,295
I know,
but I don't hate it, man.
803
00:30:19,295 --> 00:30:20,949
That's fine, but,
at the same time,
804
00:30:20,949 --> 00:30:24,213
I would love to kick it
with Paige more here in town
805
00:30:24,213 --> 00:30:25,562
and show her some fun things.
806
00:30:25,562 --> 00:30:27,826
Like, I don't feel
like she really knows
807
00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:30,263
what Charleston's all about
or she doesn't like it.
808
00:30:30,263 --> 00:30:32,874
I don't know.
- No, you're not wrong.
809
00:30:32,874 --> 00:30:34,484
Here's the thing.
810
00:30:34,484 --> 00:30:35,921
We spend a lot of the time
when she's here
811
00:30:35,921 --> 00:30:37,226
just being like, [BLEEP] it.
812
00:30:37,226 --> 00:30:39,011
We just wanna stay in
and be by ourselves.
813
00:30:39,011 --> 00:30:40,577
Paige likes that.
814
00:30:40,577 --> 00:30:42,710
Like, it's her choice to,
like, be chilling out.
815
00:30:42,710 --> 00:30:46,061
Of course, of course, but he
should drag her ass out.
816
00:30:46,061 --> 00:30:47,367
The thing is, man--
817
00:30:47,367 --> 00:30:48,498
Because, I mean,
people are like,
818
00:30:48,498 --> 00:30:49,804
we know Craig is dating Paige.
819
00:30:49,804 --> 00:30:51,284
However, we never see Paige.
820
00:30:51,284 --> 00:30:54,069
Shep, but, like, she's like,
Craig, I'm 30 years old.
821
00:30:54,069 --> 00:30:56,245
I did it.
- I'm 43.
822
00:30:56,245 --> 00:31:00,467
I'm like, hmm,
should I go out or not?
823
00:31:00,467 --> 00:31:02,425
Shep, is there a world
that you get to know Paige
824
00:31:02,425 --> 00:31:05,428
that's not
through the nightlife, though?
825
00:31:05,428 --> 00:31:08,605
- Yeah.
- But you have to initiate it.
826
00:31:08,605 --> 00:31:09,911
Okay, fair.
827
00:31:09,911 --> 00:31:12,305
I think travel is
the answer to that.
828
00:31:12,305 --> 00:31:13,610
You know what? Look.
829
00:31:13,610 --> 00:31:16,352
Here, this might sound
crazy, but, like,
830
00:31:16,352 --> 00:31:18,877
I plan to take Paige
to Jamaica.
831
00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:21,183
- Yeah?
- You know what? [BLEEP] it.
832
00:31:21,183 --> 00:31:23,098
Let's go with all
of our friends.
833
00:31:23,098 --> 00:31:24,447
Like, hell, yeah.
Let's do it.
834
00:31:24,447 --> 00:31:26,928
Let's do a whole weekend.
835
00:31:26,928 --> 00:31:28,625
All right, gents.
836
00:31:28,625 --> 00:31:32,151
Perfect, as I have been
for the past 50 years.
837
00:31:32,151 --> 00:31:34,805
Game on.
So let's get ready to rumble.
838
00:31:34,805 --> 00:31:36,198
[gong reverberates]
839
00:31:36,198 --> 00:31:37,373
[dogs barking]
840
00:31:37,373 --> 00:31:39,636
The dinner bell just rang.
841
00:31:39,636 --> 00:31:41,073
Sorry, dogs.
842
00:31:41,073 --> 00:31:42,335
I thought
I just heard a gong.
843
00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:43,640
You heard a gong.
844
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,294
Gentlemen,
we're going to have dinner.
845
00:31:45,294 --> 00:31:46,774
Let's do it. I'm excited.
846
00:31:48,732 --> 00:31:51,431
So the placement
is a bit random, but--
847
00:31:51,431 --> 00:31:52,562
- How do you spell my
- ing name wrong,
848
00:31:52,562 --> 00:31:54,086
you----ing asshole?
- Ladies first.
849
00:31:54,086 --> 00:31:56,305
- Sit.
- Ladies first. Thank you.
850
00:31:56,305 --> 00:31:57,437
How fragile are these chairs?
851
00:31:57,437 --> 00:31:59,613
Very fragile.
852
00:31:59,613 --> 00:32:01,571
As fragile as you
and Austen's psyche.
853
00:32:01,571 --> 00:32:03,834
[laughter]
854
00:32:03,834 --> 00:32:05,314
Bordelaise.
855
00:32:05,314 --> 00:32:06,968
Each one of you,
grab one in your left hand.
856
00:32:06,968 --> 00:32:08,578
Meat is at 6 o'clock.
857
00:32:08,578 --> 00:32:10,145
When you serve,
you're coming around here.
858
00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:11,190
Hand behind your back.
859
00:32:11,190 --> 00:32:12,800
Come on, let's do it, to it.
860
00:32:14,889 --> 00:32:16,630
Look at this, boys.
861
00:32:16,630 --> 00:32:17,979
- Oh, wow.
- I just wanna eat.
862
00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:19,459
What a presentation.
863
00:32:19,459 --> 00:32:21,374
Now, gentlemen. Bing, bang.
864
00:32:21,374 --> 00:32:22,853
Here we go.
865
00:32:22,853 --> 00:32:24,420
Gentleman, I used to serve
at the Ritz Carlton.
866
00:32:24,420 --> 00:32:25,856
This is how they did it.
- All right.
867
00:32:25,856 --> 00:32:27,293
- Good presentation.
- Always from the left.
868
00:32:27,293 --> 00:32:28,685
So unfortunately,
Pat's not here tonight.
869
00:32:28,685 --> 00:32:31,688
In 1974, at Buckingham Palace,
she had this meal.
870
00:32:31,688 --> 00:32:33,647
This is your classic
beef Wellington.
871
00:32:33,647 --> 00:32:35,040
It's wrapped in
prosciutto di parma
872
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,216
then phyllo dough then the
puff pastry at the end.
873
00:32:37,216 --> 00:32:38,652
Fantastic.
874
00:32:38,652 --> 00:32:39,827
Your potatoes,
your asparagus.
875
00:32:39,827 --> 00:32:41,742
Bon appétit, guys.
- Thank you so much.
876
00:32:41,742 --> 00:32:42,612
Cheers. Well done.
877
00:32:42,612 --> 00:32:43,874
Good food, good meat.
878
00:32:43,874 --> 00:32:45,441
Good God, let's eat.
879
00:32:45,441 --> 00:32:47,052
Your mother definitely hired
these strapping young men,
880
00:32:47,052 --> 00:32:48,183
didn't she?
- I know.
881
00:32:48,183 --> 00:32:49,968
But anyway, it's all good.
882
00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:51,534
Austen, were you
excited for the footmen?
883
00:32:51,534 --> 00:32:53,884
No. Were you excited
for the footmen?
884
00:32:53,884 --> 00:32:56,017
There's a few
good-looking ones.
885
00:32:56,017 --> 00:32:57,410
[laughs]
886
00:32:57,410 --> 00:32:58,759
Beef Wellington.
887
00:32:58,759 --> 00:33:00,413
I don't know if I've had
a proper beef Wellington.
888
00:33:00,413 --> 00:33:01,936
You usually only get
beef Wellington
889
00:33:01,936 --> 00:33:03,546
as a passed hors d'oeuvre
because no one
890
00:33:03,546 --> 00:33:06,158
puts the time into it
for a full-size serving.
891
00:33:06,158 --> 00:33:07,594
Damn, that's good.
892
00:33:07,594 --> 00:33:09,030
That's ridiculously good.
893
00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:10,510
It's like butter.
894
00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:12,599
This might be my favorite meal
I've ever had here.
895
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:15,602
Mmm.
896
00:33:15,602 --> 00:33:16,516
Yeah.
897
00:33:16,516 --> 00:33:17,996
Whit, this was great.
898
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:21,216
Hey, you missed our party
in the mountains, man.
899
00:33:21,216 --> 00:33:22,565
He did not miss out.
900
00:33:22,565 --> 00:33:24,176
I'm sorry.
I heard it was quite epic.
901
00:33:24,176 --> 00:33:26,700
It was theatric.
902
00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:28,223
What'd you hear
about it, Whit?
903
00:33:28,223 --> 00:33:29,790
I didn't hear much.
904
00:33:29,790 --> 00:33:31,139
It was kind of--
- Let me guess.
905
00:33:31,139 --> 00:33:32,706
It was a ping-pong match.
906
00:33:32,706 --> 00:33:36,057
Let me guess, you heard
one side of it, not a shocker.
907
00:33:36,057 --> 00:33:37,406
Let me guess.
908
00:33:37,406 --> 00:33:39,278
Oh, yeah, 'cause you're
so impartial, Austen.
909
00:33:39,278 --> 00:33:40,931
Shep got, you know,
whiskey mittens,
910
00:33:40,931 --> 00:33:43,064
had a----ing rampage.
911
00:33:43,064 --> 00:33:45,023
Austen.
912
00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:47,286
You don't have a big leg
to stand on on this one, okay?
913
00:33:47,286 --> 00:33:49,462
- Dude, I don't--
- No, no. No, no.
914
00:33:49,462 --> 00:33:52,639
You don't have a big moral leg
to stand on on this one.
915
00:33:52,639 --> 00:33:54,597
- Listen, listen--
- And so you kind of deserved
916
00:33:54,597 --> 00:33:56,773
a little bit of derision
from me.
917
00:33:56,773 --> 00:34:00,212
You did ostensibly cross me,
and I chose to be
918
00:34:00,212 --> 00:34:01,604
a gentleman and gracious.
- I know.
919
00:34:01,604 --> 00:34:03,345
And I was confused about it.
920
00:34:03,345 --> 00:34:04,955
No, you didn't choose
to be a gentleman.
921
00:34:04,955 --> 00:34:06,783
You chose to be, like, I don't
know how the [BLEEP] to deal
922
00:34:06,783 --> 00:34:08,481
with this right now,
because one of my best friends
923
00:34:08,481 --> 00:34:10,396
hooked up with my ex.
- I don't--
924
00:34:10,396 --> 00:34:12,137
You were a lot angrier
about what happened
925
00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:14,095
than you were letting off.
- It wasn't anger.
926
00:34:14,095 --> 00:34:15,444
And it----ing came out.
927
00:34:15,444 --> 00:34:17,185
I just wish that
we could have, like,
928
00:34:17,185 --> 00:34:18,795
had a man-to-man conversation.
929
00:34:18,795 --> 00:34:20,275
Instead, you were
a----ing psychopath.
930
00:34:20,275 --> 00:34:21,972
I meant
every----ing word I said.
931
00:34:21,972 --> 00:34:23,713
But you haven't said,
I don't like that
932
00:34:23,713 --> 00:34:24,932
you hooked up with Taylor.
933
00:34:24,932 --> 00:34:27,326
But I wasn't happy.
I was upset.
934
00:34:27,326 --> 00:34:28,892
You know my bro code.
935
00:34:28,892 --> 00:34:30,938
You know that
I have some serious sh--
936
00:34:30,938 --> 00:34:33,419
against what he did.
937
00:34:33,419 --> 00:34:35,116
But you bearing it and not
saying, like,
938
00:34:35,116 --> 00:34:36,770
Austen, I'm not happy
with what you did,
939
00:34:36,770 --> 00:34:38,076
is what's leading to, like,
the buildup.
940
00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:39,729
I did, but I just was
respectful and nice
941
00:34:39,729 --> 00:34:41,253
and kind about it.
- I know, man.
942
00:34:41,253 --> 00:34:42,863
And I'm just telling you,
you think it's----ing craz--
943
00:34:42,863 --> 00:34:45,648
I feel----ing bad, and I've
been trying to, like, atone.
944
00:34:45,648 --> 00:34:47,476
And I'm the one that
should be mad at you.
945
00:34:47,476 --> 00:34:51,611
And I'm, like,
defending you inside my head.
946
00:34:51,611 --> 00:34:53,917
[soft classical music]
947
00:34:53,917 --> 00:34:55,832
God damn,
that's pretty----ing good.
948
00:34:55,832 --> 00:35:00,707
Baked Alaska, beautiful,
beautiful, beautiful.
949
00:35:00,707 --> 00:35:03,144
Shep, why don't you say,
like, I think it's crazy,
950
00:35:03,144 --> 00:35:04,667
and I don't know how to be
friends with you anymore?
951
00:35:04,667 --> 00:35:06,495
'Cause if he hooked up
with Paige,
952
00:35:06,495 --> 00:35:09,150
I wouldn't know how to be
friends with him anymore.
953
00:35:09,150 --> 00:35:10,325
Why don't you just say that?
954
00:35:10,325 --> 00:35:11,674
Deal with it.
955
00:35:11,674 --> 00:35:14,460
I'm--I'm--I'm a fairly
happy human being.
956
00:35:14,460 --> 00:35:15,765
Everything's going well.
957
00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,727
Sorry to interrupt this,
like, extravagant narcissism.
958
00:35:20,727 --> 00:35:22,598
[bright classical music]
959
00:35:22,598 --> 00:35:24,470
ing command them.
960
00:35:24,470 --> 00:35:27,168
Command them.
961
00:35:27,168 --> 00:35:28,735
'Cause we're all here
to just eat tonight.
962
00:35:30,737 --> 00:35:33,043
All right,
let's have the next course.
963
00:35:34,654 --> 00:35:36,960
All right, baked Alaska.
964
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,353
There you go.
965
00:35:38,353 --> 00:35:39,572
Oh, my God.
966
00:35:39,572 --> 00:35:41,704
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
967
00:35:41,704 --> 00:35:43,576
So you'll see in here,
you'll see
968
00:35:43,576 --> 00:35:45,055
the layers of the chocolate
and vanilla,
969
00:35:45,055 --> 00:35:46,840
'cause as per Pat,
that's what she wanted,
970
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,363
chocolate and vanilla.
- Yeah.
971
00:35:48,363 --> 00:35:49,408
And then torched up there.
972
00:35:49,408 --> 00:35:50,713
- It's so good.
- Great.
973
00:35:50,713 --> 00:35:52,193
Thank you so much.
- Thank you, guys.
974
00:35:52,193 --> 00:35:53,499
It was a pleasure.
- Cheers.
975
00:35:53,499 --> 00:35:54,717
- Pleasure.
- Really well done.
976
00:35:54,717 --> 00:35:56,328
- Thank you.
- Absolutely, guys.
977
00:35:56,328 --> 00:35:57,894
Well, I'm just
trying to figure--
978
00:35:57,894 --> 00:35:59,287
I mean, you guys are good,
like women, and you're upset.
979
00:35:59,287 --> 00:36:00,680
You're the beast master.
980
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,029
It's 'cause they bury sh--
'cause they're boys
981
00:36:02,029 --> 00:36:03,596
and they don't talk
about their feelings.
982
00:36:03,596 --> 00:36:06,555
No, I do not hold things
over people's head.
983
00:36:06,555 --> 00:36:08,122
I really, really don't
- Stop saying that.
984
00:36:08,122 --> 00:36:09,732
If someone hooked up with
your----ing ex-girlfriend,
985
00:36:09,732 --> 00:36:11,473
you're gonna
- ing be mad about it.
986
00:36:11,473 --> 00:36:12,909
That's the truth.
987
00:36:12,909 --> 00:36:14,476
Instead of you being like,
I don't care.
988
00:36:14,476 --> 00:36:15,912
I don't care.
989
00:36:15,912 --> 00:36:17,436
You're not a----ing
super, like, hero.
990
00:36:17,436 --> 00:36:19,568
No, I think I proved that, yeah.
991
00:36:19,568 --> 00:36:22,267
[tense music]
992
00:36:22,267 --> 00:36:24,312
I'm gonna go hang out
with all the back waiters.
993
00:36:24,312 --> 00:36:25,748
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
994
00:36:25,748 --> 00:36:27,446
Hi, boys.
I'm gonna go back there.
995
00:36:27,446 --> 00:36:28,403
- Hi, boys.
- Hi, boys.
996
00:36:28,403 --> 00:36:30,231
Thanks for everything.
997
00:36:30,231 --> 00:36:31,841
I would love to see that.
998
00:36:31,841 --> 00:36:33,321
Where are you going, Shep?
999
00:36:33,321 --> 00:36:35,062
I think we're done here.
1000
00:36:36,890 --> 00:36:38,718
Guys, thank you so much.
1001
00:36:38,718 --> 00:36:40,415
Such a compelling evening.
1002
00:36:40,415 --> 00:36:43,244
Shep's trying to show that,
like, he can't be bothered,
1003
00:36:43,244 --> 00:36:45,115
but I know he's bothered.
1004
00:36:45,115 --> 00:36:48,293
And, like, tension's not
really being resolved.
1005
00:36:48,293 --> 00:36:49,990
It's just boiling.
1006
00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:52,732
Everyone said exactly what
they needed to say, that's it.
1007
00:36:52,732 --> 00:36:54,081
- Okay.
- We're done here.
1008
00:36:54,081 --> 00:36:56,083
If you felt like
you said it all.
1009
00:36:56,083 --> 00:36:58,346
I don't know.
What, do you think I didn't?
1010
00:36:58,346 --> 00:37:01,393
I think it hurts you too much
to even broach the subject.
1011
00:37:01,393 --> 00:37:03,960
I know. That's why it sucks.
1012
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,745
Everything that, you know,
Shep said tonight was,
1013
00:37:05,745 --> 00:37:07,834
like, a dig, you know, to me.
1014
00:37:07,834 --> 00:37:09,662
Hey, Whitney, thanks so much.
1015
00:37:09,662 --> 00:37:11,446
Austen, ciao.
Whitney, Thank you.
1016
00:37:11,446 --> 00:37:13,274
- See you later.
- Glorious.
1017
00:37:13,274 --> 00:37:15,798
And then he'll double
and triple down on it
1018
00:37:15,798 --> 00:37:17,496
as if nothing is wrong.
1019
00:37:17,496 --> 00:37:21,413
Your decision to try to be
like, I'm better than this,
1020
00:37:21,413 --> 00:37:22,805
I don't wanna lose his friend--
1021
00:37:22,805 --> 00:37:25,852
will, eventually, make you
an angry person.
1022
00:37:32,337 --> 00:37:34,774
Your decision
to try to be, like,
1023
00:37:34,774 --> 00:37:36,732
I'm better than this, I don't
wanna lose his friend--
1024
00:37:36,732 --> 00:37:39,648
all that, will, eventually,
blend into making you
1025
00:37:39,648 --> 00:37:41,824
look like an angry person.
1026
00:37:41,824 --> 00:37:43,696
I'm just not--
that's not who I am.
1027
00:37:43,696 --> 00:37:45,611
Okay, all right.
Well, I love you.
1028
00:37:45,611 --> 00:37:46,916
Yeah, I know.
1029
00:37:46,916 --> 00:37:48,657
- I'll see you soon, okay?
- Okay.
1030
00:37:48,657 --> 00:37:50,137
Yeah, I gotta run, man.
- Okay.
1031
00:37:50,137 --> 00:37:51,704
I'll see you soon.
- All right, yeah.
1032
00:37:51,704 --> 00:37:54,881
[tense music]
1033
00:37:54,881 --> 00:37:58,450
I can tell that
Austen's a little shook.
1034
00:37:58,450 --> 00:38:01,583
I lashed out and said
some things that probably
1035
00:38:01,583 --> 00:38:03,977
needed to be said
at an earlier time,
1036
00:38:03,977 --> 00:38:06,414
but it's an accumulation
of things with Austen
1037
00:38:06,414 --> 00:38:10,070
stringing Olivia along,
stepping in on Taylor.
1038
00:38:10,070 --> 00:38:12,246
And he should know better.
He should be shook.
1039
00:38:12,246 --> 00:38:14,509
Let's make the
smoking jackets worth it.
1040
00:38:14,509 --> 00:38:15,728
Find me a cigar.
1041
00:38:15,728 --> 00:38:17,295
- Here.
- Jackpot.
1042
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:19,514
Here, I would love
one of the thin ones.
1043
00:38:19,514 --> 00:38:21,647
But you want a proper--
1044
00:38:21,647 --> 00:38:23,301
Oh, that was a great cut.
Thank you.
1045
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,476
Here, let's light it
on the porch
1046
00:38:24,476 --> 00:38:25,912
so your mom doesn't get mad.
1047
00:38:25,912 --> 00:38:27,609
Where's Shep,
by the way or did he--
1048
00:38:27,609 --> 00:38:29,132
- He left.
- He left?
1049
00:38:31,091 --> 00:38:33,006
The cushions are gone.
[BLEEP].
1050
00:38:33,006 --> 00:38:35,356
The cushions
are in storage, so.
1051
00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:36,966
Let's do the fire.
1052
00:38:36,966 --> 00:38:38,925
- Whitney.
- Whitney!
1053
00:38:38,925 --> 00:38:40,579
I'm peeing off your side.
1054
00:38:40,579 --> 00:38:42,407
You mother----er!
1055
00:38:42,407 --> 00:38:43,625
[sighs]
1056
00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:44,931
Hey.
1057
00:38:44,931 --> 00:38:46,628
Listen, Austen
hooked up with Taylor.
1058
00:38:46,628 --> 00:38:48,587
If you were a betting man,
and you gotta put
1059
00:38:48,587 --> 00:38:51,111
this house on the line...
- Right.
1060
00:38:51,111 --> 00:38:52,591
Are you picking that
they did more than kiss
1061
00:38:52,591 --> 00:38:53,983
or less than kiss?
1062
00:38:55,811 --> 00:38:57,857
I'm betting on----ing.
1063
00:38:57,857 --> 00:39:00,120
- Well, then I own your
- ing house now, don't I?
1064
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,948
You'd own a lot more
than his house,
1065
00:39:01,948 --> 00:39:03,819
'cause everyone's betting on
that you did more.
1066
00:39:05,821 --> 00:39:08,128
Craig, we----ing didn't,
1067
00:39:08,128 --> 00:39:09,869
and I don't know what else
to say.
1068
00:39:09,869 --> 00:39:11,566
Did you just throw
your----ing cigar?
1069
00:39:11,566 --> 00:39:13,002
No, it's--
1070
00:39:13,002 --> 00:39:14,874
You are such--
Oh, Craig, jump.
1071
00:39:14,874 --> 00:39:16,658
Would you get that, please?
Thank you.
1072
00:39:16,658 --> 00:39:18,007
- It's right here.
- Oh, sh--.
1073
00:39:18,007 --> 00:39:19,792
I thought he was gonna
jump in the bushes.
1074
00:39:19,792 --> 00:39:21,489
- I will.
- Thank you very much.
1075
00:39:21,489 --> 00:39:22,925
Thank you.
- Oh, I like this.
1076
00:39:22,925 --> 00:39:24,797
I've never found
this spot before.
1077
00:39:24,797 --> 00:39:26,320
- There you go.
- Go ahead, Austen.
1078
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,235
We didn't sleep together,
and that's it.
1079
00:39:28,235 --> 00:39:31,064
Okay, how did the decision--
we should, maybe, kiss.
1080
00:39:31,064 --> 00:39:33,022
I mean, how did this decision
come about?
1081
00:39:36,504 --> 00:39:38,376
It takes two to tango, right?
1082
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,465
She kind of made a move on me,
if I'm gonna be honest.
1083
00:39:40,465 --> 00:39:41,683
Really?
1084
00:39:41,683 --> 00:39:43,250
Were you watching TV,
having drinks?
1085
00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:46,035
No, no, no, no.
We were jamming.
1086
00:39:46,035 --> 00:39:47,428
What does that mean?
1087
00:39:47,428 --> 00:39:48,734
We were jamming to music.
1088
00:39:48,734 --> 00:39:50,170
What do you mean,
what does it mean?
1089
00:39:50,170 --> 00:39:51,693
Was it, like, dancing in
the living room together?
1090
00:39:51,693 --> 00:39:53,042
- We were just jamming.
- Well, tell us what happened.
1091
00:39:53,042 --> 00:39:54,957
Use Whitney. You're Taylor.
- Oh, I'm Taylor?
1092
00:39:54,957 --> 00:39:56,394
No, you're Austen.
You're chilling.
1093
00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:58,047
- I'm Austen?
- Yeah, you're Austen.
1094
00:39:58,047 --> 00:39:59,353
He's Taylor.
- We're dancing, right?
1095
00:39:59,353 --> 00:40:01,311
You know, do some,
like, extravagant moves,
1096
00:40:01,311 --> 00:40:02,835
'cause I have great moves.
- I'm like that.
1097
00:40:02,835 --> 00:40:04,184
I'm like that.
- Yeah, yeah.
1098
00:40:04,184 --> 00:40:05,925
And I'm over here,
and I'm dancing, too,
1099
00:40:05,925 --> 00:40:07,317
and, like, you're looking
that way, maybe, right?
1100
00:40:07,317 --> 00:40:08,449
I'm like that.
1101
00:40:08,449 --> 00:40:10,233
And then you
turn back around, right?
1102
00:40:10,233 --> 00:40:12,366
- I'm like, oh.
- Oh, sh--
1103
00:40:12,366 --> 00:40:13,628
Oh, my gosh.
1104
00:40:13,628 --> 00:40:14,760
Wow.
1105
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,283
- Did you grab her boobs?
- No.
1106
00:40:16,283 --> 00:40:18,677
- Did you grab her boobs?
- I grabbed her.
1107
00:40:18,677 --> 00:40:20,635
Dude, was there
tongue involved or no?
1108
00:40:20,635 --> 00:40:22,028
Guys, guys.
1109
00:40:22,028 --> 00:40:23,203
There's been a lot
of sexual tension.
1110
00:40:23,203 --> 00:40:24,683
There's been a lot
of tension, right?
1111
00:40:24,683 --> 00:40:25,814
You said since the first day
1112
00:40:25,814 --> 00:40:26,946
that Shep and Taylor
got together,
1113
00:40:26,946 --> 00:40:28,295
that you guys
have had sexual tension.
1114
00:40:28,295 --> 00:40:29,949
I did not say that.
You are making that up.
1115
00:40:29,949 --> 00:40:32,212
At the Commodore, you said,
if Shep didn't take her home,
1116
00:40:32,212 --> 00:40:33,126
I would have.
1117
00:40:33,126 --> 00:40:34,649
- Oh, that day.
- Ooh.
1118
00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:36,303
- You said that.
- That was at Palace.
1119
00:40:36,303 --> 00:40:37,565
Okay, yeah.
1120
00:40:37,565 --> 00:40:39,306
So there was some tension.
1121
00:40:39,306 --> 00:40:43,092
And Shep left, and her and I
were talking about how fun
1122
00:40:43,092 --> 00:40:45,530
it is to make out with people.
1123
00:40:45,530 --> 00:40:49,055
In my mind, I was sitting there
being like, this is your time.
1124
00:40:49,055 --> 00:40:50,752
Like, you could
go for it right now,
1125
00:40:50,752 --> 00:40:52,450
but I----ing didn't, did I?
1126
00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:54,713
You were like, I'm gonna wait
until you date my buddy
1127
00:40:54,713 --> 00:40:55,931
to make out with you.
1128
00:40:55,931 --> 00:40:58,238
Touché, touché, touché.
1129
00:40:58,238 --> 00:41:01,415
But last question,
when you hooked up with Taylor,
1130
00:41:01,415 --> 00:41:02,982
what did you think
in that moment?
1131
00:41:02,982 --> 00:41:07,160
Or you were like--
- I felt not bad about it.
1132
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:08,640
And you were just like,
[BLEEP] it,
1133
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,163
[BLEEP] Shep, [BLEEP] Olivia?
1134
00:41:10,163 --> 00:41:11,773
No.
1135
00:41:11,773 --> 00:41:13,732
I had a brief----ing moment
with someone
1136
00:41:13,732 --> 00:41:16,343
that I'm close with.
1137
00:41:16,343 --> 00:41:18,954
I don't necessarily mean that
the kiss didn't mean anything,
1138
00:41:18,954 --> 00:41:21,348
but Taylor and I
did not end up dating.
1139
00:41:21,348 --> 00:41:25,265
We talked, and we decided that
we were better off as friends.
1140
00:41:25,265 --> 00:41:27,528
I thought that we could
just bury it
1141
00:41:27,528 --> 00:41:29,835
and keep a secret
from everyone.
1142
00:41:29,835 --> 00:41:32,098
And that's what I regret doing.
1143
00:41:32,098 --> 00:41:34,013
I'll never forget that
the next day, you know,
1144
00:41:34,013 --> 00:41:36,102
when she called me,
I was like, Taylor,
1145
00:41:36,102 --> 00:41:37,582
thank God we didn't
sleep together.
1146
00:41:37,582 --> 00:41:38,844
What do you mean?
1147
00:41:38,844 --> 00:41:40,106
She left your room
after you kissed?
1148
00:41:40,106 --> 00:41:41,411
I mean, it wasn't in my room.
1149
00:41:43,326 --> 00:41:45,938
- Where was the make-out, then?
- In my kitchen.
1150
00:41:45,938 --> 00:41:48,854
No, you guys said New York.
1151
00:41:48,854 --> 00:41:52,379
No, this was, like,
three weeks later.
1152
00:41:52,379 --> 00:41:54,120
I didn't say that
it was New York.
1153
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:55,774
Austen, the entire time,
you guys have said
1154
00:41:55,774 --> 00:41:57,253
that it happened in New York.
1155
00:41:57,253 --> 00:41:59,038
I didn't say it happened
in New York.
1156
00:41:59,038 --> 00:42:01,214
I thought Taylor said
it was in New York.
1157
00:42:01,214 --> 00:42:03,782
After New York,
I was like, I mean,
1158
00:42:03,782 --> 00:42:06,785
Austen, is this something
that we explore?
1159
00:42:06,785 --> 00:42:10,005
But regardless, the
sleepovers happening recently.
1160
00:42:10,005 --> 00:42:12,573
We all went back to yours,
you let me leave,
1161
00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:14,488
and it was just the two
of you the other night.
1162
00:42:14,488 --> 00:42:16,969
So that would mean that
they kissed in New York
1163
00:42:16,969 --> 00:42:18,971
and then had the sleepovers.
1164
00:42:18,971 --> 00:42:21,800
So you're telling me that if
you've already kissed a girl
1165
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,976
and you're having
a private sleepover,
1166
00:42:23,976 --> 00:42:26,761
that you're not
gonna make out again?
1167
00:42:26,761 --> 00:42:29,590
We did it once. Deal with it.
1168
00:42:29,590 --> 00:42:31,636
- You did something
- ed up, Austen.
1169
00:42:31,636 --> 00:42:35,117
♪
1170
00:42:35,117 --> 00:42:37,380
Next time on
"Southern Charm"...
1171
00:42:37,380 --> 00:42:39,252
The IUD,
we'll just take it out.
1172
00:42:39,252 --> 00:42:41,384
And you are
immediately fertile.
1173
00:42:41,384 --> 00:42:42,647
Ahh!
1174
00:42:42,647 --> 00:42:44,126
Taylor tried to hook up,
and I was like,
1175
00:42:44,126 --> 00:42:46,085
I don't think
that's a good idea.
1176
00:42:46,085 --> 00:42:49,610
She goes, fine.
I'll just stay with Austen.
1177
00:42:49,610 --> 00:42:50,829
[upbeat music]
1178
00:42:50,829 --> 00:42:52,178
All right, everyone.
1179
00:42:52,178 --> 00:42:54,049
Thank you for joining me
in Jamaica.
1180
00:42:54,049 --> 00:42:55,616
[all cheering]
1181
00:42:55,616 --> 00:42:59,315
It bothers me that
I'm so bothered by him.
1182
00:42:59,315 --> 00:43:01,013
It was always about Olivia.
1183
00:43:01,013 --> 00:43:03,363
I----ing love her.
85706
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