All language subtitles for Southern Charm S09E09 Strange Bedfellows 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-NTb_track4_[eng]

Previously on
"Southern Charm"...

I just realized how important
that you are in my life.

While Olivia and Austen
had a heart to heart,

Taylor was hoping
for one of her own.

I want to invite Olivia
to the lake house.

♪ Ba-ba doo

But just as Shep and
the guys thought they were

escaping to the mountains...

Wow, this is amazing.

Look at that guy.

Oh.

Some cold hard
facts were revealed.

Guess who left her bra

on my like little pouf?

Olivia?

Austen had Olivia over.

So this is
assuming that's hers.

♪ Got a piece,
now he's a factory ♪

Austen got his just deserts.

Wait, what?

Olivia got comfy
and took her bra off.

- Comfy?
- Yeah.

- I believe him.
- Then take your shoes off.

♪ It's easy
as the birds and the bees ♪

♪ And the one, two, threes,
mm-hmm ♪

[soft music]

♪

All right, Penny Pop,
come on, let's go upstairs.

Morning.
- Hey.

Good morning.
- Hi.

- Did y'all sleep well?
- Yeah.

- Let's have--
- Coffee?

Sausage and eggs.

So let's bless the food.

So we can eat.
- Yes.

Rick, do you want
to bless the food?

Heavenly Father,
we come to you

knowing that you are a King
of Kings, Lord of Lords.

And we ask that you bless this
food to nourish in our bodies.

So that we can
serve you better.

It's in Christ's name
we pray this, Amen.

Amen.
- All right, let's eat.

There's orange juice
if anybody wants it.

This sausage is so good.

- Isn't it?
- Yeah.

Olivia gets here at--

She'll be here
in about an hour.

Y'all should
spend a little bit

of time sitting on the porch.

It's nice out.
Like, it's not freezing.

It's just so
soothing out there.

You know, it's been a very
rough couple of weeks.

As one of her closest friends,

you have to own
whatever it was for you guys

to come out on top of it.

Yeah.

I'm excited.

But I'm a little bit
nervous to see Olivia.

I just hope that we can fix
this divide in our friendship

and move forward.

[tense music]

♪

[phone line trilling]

Hey, Mom.

Good.
Is Dad home?

Yeah.
Well, I miss y'all.

I'm heading up to Taylor's
family's mountain house.

Yeah, well, I was
kind of hesitant to go.

I just find
myself like angry,

like really, really mad.

Between all this sh--
with Taylor and Austen,

and then what happened
with my brother,

I don't even have the emotional
capacity to function.

But there's unresolved
things there.

And a part of me thinks
that going to the lake

might be good for us.

And maybe I'll get some
answers and some clarity

on what the hell I'm supposed
to do with this friendship.

I mean, I really do
want to see her family.

Honestly, like, what's gotten
me this far up this mountain

is just like looking
forward to seeing them.

And I know it'll be a good
visit with her parents.

But on the other side,
I'm just like,

I don't really know
how to navigate

talking about things with her.

I know you're right.

It's just easier
said than done.

I will.
Love you, bye.

[soft music]

[birds chirping]

♪

[snoring]

[yawns]

[bell chimes]

♪

[burps]

[dog coughs]

[whimsical music]

♪

Go.

[snoring]

[alarm blaring]

[sighs]

Last night was lovely.

We had some cocktails.

God damn.

All is love
in fair and blah, blah.

The conversation was flowing.

Can I address
the elephant in the room?

Please don't.

There was male fellowship.

Come here.
Give me a hug, you big weirdo.

Yeah.

It was a pretty fun time.

You're worked up.

I am worked up because he's
not going to stop doing this.

Causing a disturbance
in the force.

[phone line trilling]

Hi, baby.

How was your Valentine's Day?

I am going to buy
you a bag, baby.

Fun.

And I kind of made
a bomb-ass dinner

for everyone, which is cool.

Well, I love you baby.

Morning, morning.

Good morning, Mr. Rod.

Do you want me to fire up
some eggs and bacon?

Absolutely.

- I also like--
- Oh, Craig!

I wish you didn't
wake up at 6:00.

I'm still sleepy as [BLEEP],

and you're fully awake.

I went for like a little walk
and run kind of thing.

Nice.

There's like mountain
views and stuff.

It's gorgeous.

I've been up since--
for four hours.

I've had nine cups of coffee,
a hot chocolate.

But before I dive
into cooking you breakfast,

would you like to tell me how
you feel after last night?

Oh, I was like,
you know what?

I'm going to sleep on it,
see how I feel in the morning.

And I feel the same.

I'm like kind of stuck
on all this like info

that I got from Austen,
which felt like a little bit

of a slap in the face.

He did what he typically does,
which is take the first chance

to throw Olivia under the bus.

Cuddled a little bit.

She gave me a big old hug.

She kissed me
right on the chest.

And she----ing left.

It's tough because
like, we're not together.

But you know, if she's ending
up in another guy's house

the same night that we had
a date, like, that's not ideal.

I don't believe that.

Well, I hope
he's a liar again.

And you know--

I hope our friend
is a liar again.

- And we'll find out.
- Said no one ever.

I know.

I think fly fishing will take
our mind off it a little bit.

- Good morning.
- Hi.

What's the proper attire
for fly fishing?

They're going
to give us waders.

So that takes care
of your footwear.

Jeans?

Jeans, whatever.

What kind of a shirt?

Man, it's not complicated.

[laughs]
Is that bothering you?

- Yeah, just a little bit.
- Really?

Yeah, sun directly
in the face.

Is that helping
your hangover right now?

- No.
- [coughs]

Do they serve alcohol there,

like if we
want to drink in the water?

You're like,
kind of working too

hard to be drinking, right?

Like, you're like--
- Yeah, you should be.

Hard work throwing that line.

[coughs]
I'm a little under the weather.

Nobody drink the milk.

I took a swig
of it this morning,

and I've just been
coughing and--

like a mad man.

So--
[coughs]

Oh, man.

That's really
good news, Shep.

I just poured milk
in this coffee.

So I look forward
to sharing your pain.

♪

[burps]

Coming up...

Me and Paige, you know, we've
been together for a while now.

Yeah.

It's time to like sh--
or get off the pot, you know?

Like--
- Have you said this to her?

No.

This is my hope and prayer.

Is that while you're here,
that you would just remember

how much God loves you.

That he is
with the brokenhearted.

[upbeat music]

It's nice out.

How far away
is this place, Shep?

15 minutes.

I'm starting
to get a little buzz.

[burps]

OK.

Let's go rip some lips.

What does that mean?

When you hook a fish,
you yank it.

So you rip the lips
off these fish.

That got really dark.

That's really depressing.

- Look at that.
- It's a beautiful day.

Let's go.

What's up, guys?

Hey, man, how's it going?

- Shep.
- Cole.

- Good to see you.
- Hey, man.

Good to see you. Yeah.

What's up?
Austen.

Austen, nice to meet you.

So he and I are the only one
who's ever done this before.

I've done it a ton.
He's done it a little.

Perfect.

Going to be ready to walk
on the moon with these things.

JT, hey, JT,
what are you doing?

I can't see anything.
Can you help me?

I've never done this.

No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no,

your arm, dude, through.

There you go.

I'm just a small
town country lawyer.

Everybody, come on down.

All right, lead the way.

All right.
- Let's do this.

If the hook
comes in, you want

to set downstream, whichever
way the water is going.

All right.

And once that fish
is on, y'all just

put your rod at 12:00.

And if it doesn't look
like a candy cane,

I'm going to have you
pull down some lines.

Y'all have any questions?

No, let's go.

Let's rock and roll
down the stream.

Three of y'all can
stay here with me.

Three of y'all can
go down with Cole.

Just watch your footing
coming down here.

A lot of these rocks
are loose here.

Oh, sh--.

Your spot's going to be right
up on the corner of that rock.

Maybe you can get
in the water right there.

Probably be a good spot.

Nice, that looks good, dude.

Fly fishing makes me
more happy than almost

anything in the world.

It just does.

You're so connected to nature.

Nice cast.

It feels good.
You feel like a man.

This is actually
cool as [BLEEP].

Whoo, oh, sh--.

This is the----ing honey hole.

Shep, I saw it.

And it is so
satisfying to share

all this with your friends.

Ah!

Oh, no, got snagged.

Jesus.

I did kind of feel a little
"A River Runs Through It"

Brad Pitt-y kind of vibe.

I caught something.

Myself.

The hook is on my boot.

I can just go in this, right?

- Sh--.
- Oh, no.

The [BLEEP] is JT doing?

Whoo, whoo!
That's cold.

Ah, ah!

Fly fishing is supposed
to be cathartic, therapeutic,

contemplative, maybe.

It's all down.

I'm contemplating why I'm
so cold, why I'm so wet,

and why no fish are biting.

And I want to get out
of these waders immediately.

Oh, that is cold as [BLEEP].

[laughter]

Oh, my God.

Oh, God,
his waders are filled up.

- Any bites?
- No bites.

- Did he catch one?
- No.

JT, you're scaring
off the fish.

Oh, I got one!

Oh, there you go.

Just keep the rod up.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Better be a big one.

Yeah--no!

He unhooked!

No!

That asshole almost
caught that fish.

I know, but he didn't.

I hate that for you.

No----ing way.

Oh, we got a stick.

I would like
to catch a fish now.

It's a patience game.

So how's Paige?

When is she coming back
to town next, you know?

- A couple days.
- Oh, nice.

I mean, do you see her coming
to Charleston more permanent?

How far along do
you think that is?

I mean, I'm sitting
around waiting

for her to decide if she'll
be ready to move in together.

I guess I just
don't know the map.

You know, you've been with
Tyler for a long time now.

Oh, here's Tyler and Rodrigo.

I'm excited
for this pheasant.

I've never eaten pheasant.

How is that?

You know, it's definite work.

I think we're now past
our seven-year itch.

No, that's great.

I mean, me and Paige,
you know, we've

been together for a while now.

And I know I am right now
being like, all right,

it's time to like sh--
or get off the pot.

You know like--

- Have you said this to her?
- No.

In an ideal world,
what's your time

frame to get married?

You know, if it was up to me,
I would like to be engaged

by the end of the year.

- Oh, wow.
- I just turned 35.

My parents had me
and my brother at 28 and 29.

I'm six years past
where they started.

Paige is 30.

And when we talk
about this stuff,

she's usually like, well,
I'll have kids at 35.

Five years from now,
I'll be 40.

My biological clock is ticking.

Like, I want that
storybook life.

Like I do want
the white picket fence.

I just think I want
to make sure we continue

to trend in that direction.

My future has always consisted
of like a family with kids.

Like, what do I want more?

Do I want to be with Paige
and be patient to eventually

have that family with her?

Or do I want the family so bad
that I'm going to leave,

like, the love of my life?

I mean, you want to have
children with someone who's

not the love of your life?

No, and I don't.

- Well, there you go.
- And I'll never settle.

But it does feel
like we're spinning

in circles a little bit.

That's fair.

Got one.

Oh.

[shouting]

Yeah, there you go.

There it is.

I didn't land it, though.

- Did you not get it?
- He had it.

And he lost it.
It went up in the air.

I yanked out of the water.

And it flew behind me
on the line.

That was depressing.

All right, Shep, hey, buddy,
let's call it a day, man.

I think it's time
to throw in the towel.

All right, let's go.

I'm so upset that I
didn't catch a----ing fish.

There's a 50% chance that JT
caught something in his pants.

Coming up...

I'm telling you this right
now, we did not hook up.

The words you say,
I no longer believe.

[soft music]

♪

Hi, aww.
- Hi.

It's so good to see you.

Hi.

So happy you're here.

Are you mad at me?

Libby's here.

Are you excited to see her?

Yeah?

My mom said you've
been texting with her.

This is my hope and
prayer is that while you're

here, that she
would just remember

how much God loves you.

That he is
with the brokenhearted.

And he rescues those who
are crushed in spirit.

Never forget that.

OK?
- Yes, ma'am.

I appreciate you.

Thank you.

I'm so, so glad you're here.

We love you so much.

OK, can I help you
carry stuff in?

Thank you.

This is--

Wow.

God's creation.

You can't--you know,
you can't top that, right?

Here we are.

- Hey!
- Hey.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- How are you?
- Hi.

- You made it.
- I know.

- Hello.
- Hi.

You look gorgeous.

Thank you.

- This is a cute fit.
- Thank you for having me.

Absolutely, welcome anytime.

Thank you.

As awkward as it can
be between Taylor and I,

I really love her parents.

And it's just, you know,
that's a weak spot for me.

Oh, my gosh, so sorry,
look how much stuff it is.

I'm moving in.

Thank you so much.

Our moms, when they met,
just hit it off.

They talked for like
the rest of the evening.

They didn't even touch
their dinner plates.

And we had Christmas
dinner together one time,

like our families.

I talked
to Shep this morning.

They're going
to go fishing and then go

and then go to
Grandfather Mountain Winery.

Yeah, when do you
think that will be?

Shep said, please come on up.

We'll let you guys
when we get back

to the house like what time are
y'all planning on coming up.

It really is--like,
literally, they are nestled

in that mountain right there.

- That's where they are.
- Oh, my God.

See that little mountain
range right there?

Wait a minute, I see them.
Do you see them?

Yeah, there they are.

That is funny.

- Wow, this is--
- Shep, put that beer down.

Would y'all like to go take
some stuff out on the dock?

We can do that,

or show me the lay of the land,
as Shep would say.

Hop around there, bunny girl.

Oh, my God,
she leaps like a bunny.

This is so beautiful, wow.

It's peaceful down here.

Very peaceful.

This was for your mom
and you, like a birthday

gift for you guys, for Connor.

Oh, my gosh, thank you.

So there is a little
like quote that's kind

of like what they represent.

Thank you.
That's so sweet.

Yeah.

Putting it on now.

I got a collection going.

There you go.

These are beautiful.

You want me
to just put it on?

This isn't about me.

It's about Olivia.

My actions were a mistake.

And I have to make it right.

I know we haven't really
had the chance to like talk,

because obviously,
with everything going on,

I'm just like giving you
your time and space.

But I feel like
a very sh---y friend

for lying, and doubling down,
and betraying your trust.

I know.

And I want
to make sure that I

can earn your trust
back because that's

what's important to me.

I can say the most hurtful
part that like makes me--

that like eats me up
over these last few days

like thinking about it is
just not having the trust.

I prioritize our friendship
over everything in this.

But like because I haven't
gotten the full truth

over and over,
at the end of this,

I want to be OK with you.

I just need you to be honest.

Olivia, you have
to know that if--

it would be so much easier
to sit here and be like, yeah,

we hooked up,
yeah, we want a date.

Yeah, this and that.
It would be so much easier.

We had like a moment
after New York.

Like, Shep and I were
not on speaking terms.

You and Austen were
not on speaking terms.

But like in New York,
I was confiding in you.

Like, you were my person
through all of this.

And like there were times
you were talking on my behalf

to Austen.

During this time, she's saying
that they had a conversation.

She's telling me
Austen wants to be with me.

He loves me.

We're not in a relationship.

Austen, you seem sad.

Like, there's
a lot of love here.

I think that he should have
gone right over to Olivia

and swept her off her feet.

So it's like, were you
just running back to him

and contemplating
your feelings for him?

The things I thought
I was telling you,

I thought were between us.

And now, I'm like
questioning all of it.

But like you had
gone out to LA.

LA was two--

a day after New York.

It wasn't like it had
been months later.

That was literally
the next day.

I left from New York
to go to LA just

to clear my head because
I just saw him completely

check out of our relationship.

But OK, it was very
shortly after New York.

It wasn't the day after.

I don't--like I'm not
sitting here trying to fight--

If I was in LA,
it was like--it was days

because I went to LA--

But you were
in LA for a while.

- For a week.
- A week.

Tay, I was in LA for a week.

I genuinely--I genuinely
believe y'all had sex.

[tense music]

♪

I'm telling you this right
now, we did not hook up.

You can tell me
till you're blue

in the face that y'all didn't.

Austen can too.

But the words you say,
I no longer believe.

We're just broken.

I don't know how much
of our friendship

is there to salvage.

I like love
and adore your family

for like having me up here.

I just don't feel
comfortable here.

I really want you to stay.
I really do.

I'll maybe just--

just get a change
of scenery for a second.

Yeah.

Well, thank you
for obviously coming here.

Yeah, well, let's go.

We don't need you
falling in the water.

I'm actually like
really disappointed.

I didn't think that this
is how the conversation

would have gone.

All right,
start the truck back up.

I wasn't able to pull
her out of whatever

she's thinking because
Olivia is who Olivia is.

And once the gears get going,
it's really hard to retract.

I'm going to go ahead
and just get a head start.

Thank you.

Thank you, yeah, me too.

I can't tell you how
much I appreciate this.

Thank you.
- I've loved every minute.

Thank you.

I love you.

♪

Coming up...

You and Shep, you're
just not normal people.

You guys are just
built different.

Yeah, that's
because we're dirtbags.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪

I'm sorry about your pants.

Why do you still
have the bib?

I don't have any clothes.

- Are you naked under there?
- I am.

- Are you really?
- Yeah.

So what happened?

You slipped and fell?

And it came into your pants?

Yeah, it went down my--

the rapids were flowing
down my backside.

I said, can I borrow this
so I can go to the vineyard?

At least your butt's clean.

Is this it?

Oh, dude, hey man,
that looks pretty.

It is pretty, yeah.

My stomach is
like soaking wet.

- Hey, guys.
- How's it going?

Hi.

Shep, have you been here?

The first time.
How are y'all doing?

- Doing great.
- Good.

I might just go shirtless.

You guys can do
a flight or get a glass.

I think we'll
do some flights.

OK, well, I'll try
your favorite Riesling.

How about a Riesling, rosé, and
a two of your favorite reds?

- Perfect.
- Let's do that.

Blueberry and cherry.

Blueberry and cherry, OK,
I'm going to mark this out.

All right, let's go outside.

We'll see--

Can I get this too?

Thank you.

All right, it's beautiful.

Just glad we got
decent weather for this.

Did everybody get
a bunch of food?

I might just have some cheese.

Oh, Olivia called me.

Let me call her back.

Hi.

What's the--wait,
tell me what's going on.

Oh, sh--.

Do you want to come spend
the night at the house?

I'll send you the address.

No, no, it's all good.

Do you want to come
meet us at the winery?

We are kind of on the way
from Taylor's, just FYI.

Come by, have a glass of wine.

I'll drop a pin, all right?

Bye.

Austen, right here.

That's good, right?

This is so much better than
being in a creek falling down.

- Which one is that?
- Blueberry.

Oh, man, that's like juice.

I just want more cheese.

I just texted
Olivia the address.

The turbulence of my----ing--

my actions.

Yeah, make sure you
finish that sentence.

Ho-ho.

I just feel really
sad for Olivia.

She's mixed up, man.

Yes, she is.

Well, and she doesn't
have that crazy of a point.

Unfortunately, the only two
other people going through it

are you two.

And you're just
not normal people.

You guys are just
built different.

Yeah, that's
because we're dirtbags.

[laughter]

Let me use the restroom.

I have to pee too.

- See you guys.
- Bye-bye.

Here, try the blueberry.

- The blueberry?
- Yeah.

- This one's really good, yeah.
- I like the blend.

- Hey, babe.
- Hi.

Wow, oh, my God,
this little set up.

Like your driving outfit.

You smell good.

How are you?

Wow, how is the duck hunting?

Did you catch dinner?
- No, I fell in a creek.

And rapids went up my butthole.

Oh, lucky.

You want to try
something cool?

- Yeah.
- Try that.

Will go well
with my spearmint gum.

Do you like
a red blend or cab?

Red blend sounds--

- Perfect, there you go.
- Delightful.

Is there a red blend?

Red blend--
that's the red blend.

This is definitely a red.

Yeah, this is good.
I like this.

Hello.

- Hi.
- There they are.

- Good to see you.
- Hello.

Thanks for letting me crash.

Yeah, absolutely.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

I told you--

- Took your spot--
- It's OK.

Knowingly.

This one's good, Shep.

The '91?
I'm all about that one.

It's really good.

How did you leave
it with Taylor?

It wasn't easy to leave.

We both want the same thing
at the end of the day.

It's just a matter
of figuring out

how to get there because
the trust is like shattered.

Look, I cut off,
like, the friend

that hooked up with my ex.

I'll never talk--
it's a multi-year break.

And I don't want that
for anyone else.

And I'm glad that
that's not happening.

But it also doesn't
mean that like, it

can't take a little while.

Yeah, look, I might have
invited Taylor to dinner.

[tense music]

Drama.

Sounds good.

Well, I don't want
to drag you away.

But I have a caterer
tomorrow night who's cooking

some really good stuff.

So we have extra room.

It'd be awesome if you
and Olivia came up.

She sent me a message.

And Taylor's going
to come up later.

Great.

Sorry.

Well, sh--.

I left her house just to come
and have dinner with her.

I really just want to leave.

I don't have that option
right now because we're

out in the middle of nowhere.

Like what else
am I supposed to do?

So should we go back, guys?

I think my chef has prepared
some delectable treats.

Are we headed out?

We're going to have
an awesome dinner.

All right, we're outskies.

All right, let's go.

Grab that blueberry
wine, please.

Here will you
take my peanuts?

Here, hold Craig's nuts.
[laughter]

- You getting back on?
- Yeah, you coming on the bus?

What are you doing?

I think I'm
going to drive up.

Craig, I'm going
to ride with Olivia,

so she's not by herself.
I'll see you a minute.

- See you at the house.
- What is Rod doing?

He's riding with Olivia.

- Look at him, though.
- Ride with you?

- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah, cool.

If I'm being honest I've
seen more----ing chemistry

in my tenth grade----ing
chemistry class than

I see between Rod and Olivia.

Hi.

Oh, did Rod go with Olivia?

Yeah, of course.

He follows her around
like a lost puppy dog.

Have you been to this house?

- No, I have not.
- It is nice.

Nice.

What do you think you'll
be like with Taylor tonight?

You probably just like be
talking to other people

mostly, or just kind
of more superficial,

or play it by ear?

I don't even know what to do.

I got your peanuts, Craig.

Time for dinner.

- Craig.
- Little Craig.

Craig, how was
your day, buddy?

Craigory.

Hi, bub.

You are a sight for sore eyes,
you little mongrel.

Hey, look at this
cute little spot.

Welcome.

New houseguest.

Where do we want
to put Olivia?

Do Craig's.

He's got two single
beds up there.

Here, help her with her bags.

- Oh, yeah, let me get that.
- Thank you.

- Of course.
- Wow.

This is awesome.
- Up this way.

OK, I'll let
you lead the way.

Gotcha.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

So show me what you got.

Are you guys still waiting?

You got it all together.

OK, let me know if
you need anything.

All right, thank you.

- Yeah, that's perfect.
- OK, and bathroom.

You want me to leave
you for a little bit

and let you do your thing?

- See you down there.
- Sounds good.

- Appreciate it.
- You got it.

I'll see you in a minute.

Hey.

- Hi.
- What's up?

Nothing.
Just about to change.

You good?

Like are you and Tay actually--

If we were back home
and after having

that conversation, I would
just gone back to my house.

It was just like awkward
because it's here, and--

And you're like,
I got to go somewhere.

I just need to go
somewhere just like process

and decompress all this, and--

Well, I'm glad you did.

Glad you could have
a space to come to

in lieu of whatever the hell
is going on with you two.

But welcome.

Whatever
the hell is going on?

OK, sorry, whatever
the conversation was.

I'm sure you have a little
idea of what it consists of.

It's not something like
whatever's going on.

No, no, OK, sorry,
sorry, that was wrong.

I was trying to like--

OK, I'm just
changing for dinner.

What a fun night ahead.

All right, fire boy.

There we go.

I have a question
for the chefs.

I saw the brownies
and the cookies.

Why the dessert first?

How do you know it's first?

Well, I saw it first.

And I smell brownies.

But I thought we
were having steak.

You're about
as perceptive as a gnat.

Do y'all need help
with the fire?

Just kidding, as it's
already up and going.

Well, there's a cheat because
there's a bunch of gas coming

out and lighting the logs.

Yeah.

If you could have
a mountain house like this

or like a beach house
like the Hilton Head one,

which one would you choose?
- Beach house.

'Sup guys?

She asked if I had a beach
house or a mountain house,

what would I pick,
and I said a beach house.

I think beach house.

Hey, I know you asked.

So I'm just going
to give you a bite.

No, I have diabetes.

Please don't kill me.

Hello?

Hey--

Saved by the angel herself.

Shep was trying to kill me.

Hi.

Penny's not here.

I'm sorry.

Wow.

Hi!

Hi.

Hi, I'm going
to make myself at home.

- [sighs]
- JT, are you good?

Yeah, I'm just trying to have
quality time with my new best

friend, little Craig.

- Craig.
- Little Craig, come on.

Thank you so much for coming.

You're welcome.
I'm happy to be here.

But yeah, so hi.

Hi.

And I'm really glad you
had the courage to come up.

And if there's anything
that I or we can do to help,

even if it's just
listening, we love you.

Thank you.

[tense music]

Coming up...

I think to be as direct
as possible, I think we

should not see other people.

And I want
to exclusively date you.

[tense music]

Craig.

About the fly fishing--

[laughter]
- Tough.

Tough break.
Well, there's Taylor.

Hey.

Hi, how was it today?

Hey.

How was fly fishing
for the first time?

Humbling and fun.

Guys, dinner is served.

All right, let's go.

Shall we?

Good to be back in Lynnville.

It is?

Of course it is.

I saw one without croutons.

I was like, this one's mine.

All right, please sit down.

I don't want to
waste the salad.

I don't eat salad.

He said he's never had
a salad in his whole life.

This is so weird
that you don't eat salad.

I know,
and it's embarrassing.

Can you please just
take a bite of a salad?

You know, it's not for me.

Thank you so much.

Oh, my gosh,
that looks incredible.

Thank you.
- This looks great.

So you have roast
beef tenderloin

and roast pork loin, roasted
Brussels sprouts, potatoes

au grautin.

And there's some squash
puree on the bottom.

There you go.
Thank you, sir.

Thanks.

Sure.

Compliments to the chef.

Thank you guys.
This is very good.

Oh, I got something
for you today.

You got something for me?

Well, it was Austen's idea.

What did I do?

Oh--

I'll go get it.

Yeah, take note of it.

So we can talk about it.

We bought sunglasses
today to go fishing with.

And this was right
near the sunglasses case.

Oh, bee.

It's a temporary
tattoo, Tay.

- Oh, it's a tattoo.
- Yes.

Put it on your forehead.

No, no, it's a sticker.

Oh, [BLEEP].

What better way to mend up a
friendship than to go hang out

in the woods,
talk to a questionable

best friend and
a questionable ex-boyfriend.

It's like
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[chainsaw revs]

♪

Isn't this fun, everyone?

Life is good.

I truly believe that Shep
is a good-hearted nihilist.

Thank you so much.

That's my
psychoanalysis on today.

Olivia, you want
some more white wine?

Um...

That's a yes.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you so much.
Oh, my gosh.

No, they're gluten free.

Thank you for that.

Wanted to make sure
I left a little bit.

So you didn't think
I finished the bottle.

Are we going to make
our aluminum helmets

and talk to aliens tonight?

Yeah, we will.

Do you know what we're doing,
Olivia and Taylor?

We are making tinfoil hats.

And Craig is going to tell us
all his conspiracy theories.

Craig, I know that
you believe in aliens.

Don't get him
started, Taylor.

The government can hear us.

If we don't have our
hats on, they can hear.

God, you just poked the bear.

I can't believe he thinks
that pandas are humans.

Do you think panda
bears are real?

I really wanted
them to be real.

- Pandas are
- ing real, dude.

If we have tinfoil hats on,
they can't hear us.

And they have no idea--

They can't
penetrate our brains.

Can't be targeted.

Tinfoil hats?

If you have to ask what
a tinfoil hat is for,

you're not ready
to know what it's for.

Aliens don't really respect
"bareheads," they call them,

bareheads are what you call
people without a tinfoil hat.

If they see your hat,
they're like these people

are ready for the reckoning.

I'm just here to guide y'all.

This is the dumbest thing
we might have ever done.

Bop boop bop beep.

Wow, you really did
a good job with the crown.

That's amazing.
He's like king moron.

Come on, Craig,
we're going in the yard.

We're going to be
safe there now.

You're making
a mockery of it.

Come outside.

It's time.

A lot of people say that
conspiracies are dangerous.

Well, knowing the truth
is never dangerous.

Let's talk about the pyramids,
even in modern technology

today, we couldn't
build the pyramids.

They are laser cut.

Those stones are
so accurate and then

they pinpoint these
magnetic----ing areas

in the sky that serve as
beacons for the space people.

Space people?

Yeah, space people.
Aliens is a little derogatory.

And there--

Hold on.

Was the moon landing real?

We haven't been
back since the '60s.

Why not?

I think that the moon
landing was real.

But we are prepared to fake it.

The videos you saw were staged
because we forgot to take

the videos on the moon.

Just watch "Transformers."
It kind of explains all this.

You know that there's
like weather weapons.

Yeah, let's exit
on that conversation.

Do you want some water?
I'll grab some.

Yes, I will.

Just so you know,
I'm like kind of tipsy.

And my face gets a little red.

I think we've had enough.

Should we play ping pong?

- 100%.
- Let's go.

I'm glad you came tonight.

Where else was I going to go?

We're in----ing nowhere.

And like my hair is, I'm
sure, all tinfoil messed up.

But you're still
looks immaculate.

I didn't want to ruin
the meal or throw things off.

But I wanted to bring some
things to your attention.

I know that you're
like obviously

going through things.

You are comfortable
with Austen.

But found out that
one of my friends,

after you left Austen's,
she went to Austen's.

Wait, was there
a pink bra in the corner

of the room,
and she saw that, and now

you're telling me about it?

Yeah.

I literally--while we
were watching the movie,

took my bra off and tossed it.

And when I left,
hugged him bye,

and he was like, oh, your bra--

I was like,
oh, just throw it away.

Even like saying it back,
sounds awful.

But like nothing happened.

I went to bed
thinking about this.

And I woke up
thinking about it.

And then I had this
interesting day of distraction,

of fly fishing, and then
it was back in my mind

the rest of the day.

I can completely
understand that.

And I genuinely apologize.

I don't mean to give off
like the bullsh-- vibe.

I think to be
as direct as possible,

like I'm very interested.

I am.

But like, I think we should
not see other people.

And I want
to exclusively date you.

[tense music]

[upbeat music]

Yes, yes!

20-17.

This is like
Federer and Nadal.

Will return.

Yes!

On the away team,
on the away game.

I think to be
as direct as possible,

like, I'm very
interested, I am.

I think we should
not see other people.

And I want to
exclusively date you.

Like I can--

you are literally
the perfect guy.

I respect you too much to just
drag you along in like a--

I mean, I am seeing
other people.

And I do want to keep
that open with you.

Like my stuff
with Austen threw me off.

After that, I don't--

I have this hesitation
of getting in a relationship.

And I've just been
like kind of living

in that space of like,
oh, I'm dating.

I'm dating.
But that's me.

All of this to say, it's me.

It's stuff I need
to figure out.

There's just like a hesitation
in my own like mental space

right now.

I mean, I appreciate that.

You know, I don't know.

It's tough.

I'm like--
that's not what I want.

Oh, here he is, Shepard.

- He beat me.
- He beat you?

Yeah, he beat me.

He's a pusher.

He just gets it back.
He just gets it back.

He just gets it back.

He's like Little Craig.

So I'm like trying
to hit winners.

I'm like--

Shep, listen to me,
on a scale of 1 to 10,

how drunk are you?

Five.

- Barely.
- 'Sup?

It's hot.

He hates losing.

Oh, we are the champions.

You?

How do you have any
ownership on this?

I was saying
congratulations for winning.

Don't [BLEEP]
with me, Taylor.

I'm not, Shep.

Don't do it.

The way that you're
acting towards me right now

is very like jealous
and controlling.

What?

You enjoyed
the fact that I lost.

And then you rubbed
it in my face.

I was congratulating
somebody for winning--

He wasn't out here yet.

- He was standing right there.
- Shep, it's ping pong, dude.

It's ping pong.
- It doesn't matter.

Shep, you don't like losing.

Yeah, you're
goddamn right, Taylor.

And you [BLEEP] with me.

Do you enjoy it?

Do you like poking the bear?

Do you like cheating on me?

I mean, sometimes it was fun.

Did you just say
sometimes it was fun?

No.

Yeah, you----ing did,
you piece of sh--.

I want out
of this----ing house.

Like,----ing pull this
sh-- off of my----ing

back right the [BLEEP] now.

Hold on, hold on.

Does anybody have
a good launderer?

Oh, Shep just said
that he----ing

enjoyed cheating on me.

Yeah, he said--

I said I hope you
had fun cheating.

That's just Shep.

Get me the
[BLEEP] out of here.

She knew that I was upset
about the loss in ping pong.

And she played with it.

No, dude,
it wasn't like that.

No, that is not just Shep.

He cheated on me
multiple----ing times.

Multiple times.

And he just said he
enjoyed cheating on me.

Taylor.

Shep, I want you
to listen to yourself, man.

Of course, Austen is
against me because Austen's

been against me since
the----ing day one.

Why are you so angry?

Because I'm
the exact person that

you----ing wish you were.

I mean, who knew
that ping pong

would be the spark that lit
this giant heap of baggage

that Shep's been collecting?

You can direct
your anger at me.

Yeah, I will.

I----ing will, dude.
Because you're so smug.

I'm not.

This is what happens when
you repress so many feelings.

And like, here's the
explosion I knew would happen.

You [BLEEP] up all the time.

But you do it privately because
you never tell your friends--

That's not true.

You never tell your
friends when you [BLEEP] up.

God forbid you were honest, and
real, and----ing soul baring.

You never do that.
- Shep--

And so when you see
someone else yelling at me,

you enjoy it, you enjoy it.

Oh, dude.

Because you can't be honest.

Incoming.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it.

You made me mad, Taylor.

You poked me.

It's how I think.
And you know that.

They call me old egg toss.

I'm going to----ing win.

[laughter]

Wait, y'all's-- it fell.

- It did not break.
- So?

- You----ing idiot.
- Don't say idiot.

What do you mean?
Don't do that again.

I said----ing idiot.

I should have said
something worse.

I was mad.

I couldn't believe
that you had taken someone

else's side after a loss.

Yeah, but it obviously wasn't
about the ping pong game.

There's more
that was underlying.

Obviously, I'm upset
about the Austen thing.

But I've been bottling it up.

And I haven't said anything.

I've always loved Austen.

I've always loved him.

We've had a great friendship.

- I know.
- As you know.

You've been very supportive of.

Because I trusted everybody.

Oh, God.

This is a good
time to walk in.

Not to interrupt.

- She's all yours.
- No, no, no.

See, stop doing that.

We still--

Oh, sh--, Craig.

Hey, I'm just
going to go to bed.

- Good night, JT.
- Good night, Taylor.

- You good?
- Yeah, I'm good.

Hanging out
with exes isn't easy.

Because they
know you the best.

Well, yeah, and there's--

I just compared it
to my finger cut.

Hey, are we quarreling?

I mean, I knew that
you were going to lose

it on me at some point.

But I didn't think that it
was going to be over that.

That's all I'm saying.

It's funny how things
manifest themselves, OK?

This was
suppressed sh-- or no?

Yes, it was, OK?

Probably.

And like when you take
her side out there,

that's exactly
what that's about.

I didn't--

OK, I did say that.

You bottle things up.

But you got to scream
sometimes because it's

dangerous to pressurize
your anger and disappointment.

Some people have therapists.

Some people have
a bottle of bourbon.

All right, well,
I love you guys.

I think I'm going
to head to bed.

See you in the morning.

[upbeat music]

♪

Gorgeous.

Oh, my toothbrush
and everything

is in the other bathroom.

Good morning, good morning.

All right,
should I make eggs?

That's such a good sound.

JT, you're always so
chipper in the morning.

I can't deal with it.

I almost need a beer
just to get over this pain.

♪

[dog whining]

[phone line trilling]

What's up?

Just laying
in bed with Austen.

Hey, Paige.

Morning.
Can y'all get up?

Taylor's in Shep's room.

[laughs]

Shep and Taylor banged.

Yeah, Shep and Taylor banged.

Did you sleep well?

You did?

What do you mean?

You disrupted my sleep.

I disrupted
your sleep with my cough?

Yeah, Craig's snore
doesn't bother me.

So you came in
here just for Craig?

Yeah, I did.

Well, did you get
what you needed?

This kissing bandit last night?

All right, well.

Rod.

Oh, my God,
you mother----er.

We slept in the same
bed with our--

with the dog that we love.

Did you get that
wine out of your eyes?

Sorry, sorry.

All right, well,
I love you, baby.

And I'll call you
on my drive home.

OK, wake up.

Let's gossip because I
don't know what else to do.

Yeah, who hooks up
with their exes?

I know.

She's been doing really well,
like, dating other people

and moving forward.

And now, I just
think she's just

going to like, go backwards.

It's like, I just don't
know where her head is.

I don't know this Taylor.

I'm going to go
figure out coffee.

So I guess I'm
the only one eating.

Looks like it, buddy.

- Morning.
- Good morning.

Good morning, little angel.

Did you know Taylor
is in Shep's room?

That's a sad, sad thing.

I've never seen
a situation where

a girl throws a glass
of wine on a guy

and then shares a bed in peace.

There's no coming
back from that.

♪

OK, OK.

Well, well, well.

Oh, it looks like
someone took her bra off.

Olivia, is this yours?

Yeah.

And I took it off, just to
make that clear to everyone.

I took this off myself.

All right.

Does it make you sad
sleeping in the same bed

and not really
getting to sleep--

like actually sleeping
in the same bed?

Does it make me sad?

Yeah.

No, it doesn't make me sad.

You're the one who said
time and time again,

we shouldn't do that.

No, no, no.
- I know that.

[dramatic music]

♪

I think it's time to get up.

Next time on
"Southern Charm"...

Prince Charles
and Camilla sent me

a piece of their wedding cake.

And it's been in the freezer.

Let's have it.

I want a wife
and children, a family.

Eugh.

Are you trying to marry me?

I'm noticing
a trend with you.

You got burned.
- I got burned.

So now you have
your flamethrower.

And you're just
cooking everybody.

I just wish
that we could have

had a man-to-man conversation.

Instead you were
a----ing psychopath.

- I meant every
- ing word I said.

[dramatic music]