All language subtitles for Southern Charm S08E05 Exes and Uh Ohs 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-NTb_track4_[eng]

Previously on
"Southern Charm"...

If you're not ready to date
someone, you just tell her.

As Austen continued
to drag his feet with Olivia,

he convinced the boys
to take a road trip

to help him move
out of his childhood home.

I can see Olivia, and then
get out of town for a second.

[scoffs] Yeah.

Tell her how you feel
about her, and then run.

And then run
and turn off my phone.

♪ They got
the place spinning ♪

♪ Around his little pinkie

Meanwhile, Taylor
and Shep's pregnancy scare

opened up old wounds.

You haven't ever really said,

"You can trust me
to be faithful."

Apparently,
I'm not a safe bet.

I think you're kind of not.

♪ Times have changed,
don't you know? ♪

Nice party, birthday girl.

And when Madison
and Venita decided

to host
a joint birthday party,

it was hijacked by someone's
recent engagement.

Oh, my gosh.

I just found out
you were engaged.

- Yes, yes.
- Congratulations!

- Thank you.
- Ah!

I feel like this is the vibe
for your wedding shower.

Maybe that's what this is.

♪ Ooh, ooh, whoa

And that wasn't
the only thing she hijacked.

So what made you decide
to invite Kathryn and Olivia?

I mean,
I was invited to her party.

- I mean, it's fine.
- No, you tell me.

I mean, we can't do
anything about it now.

They're gonna be here.

So when Leva tried
to mediate a truce...

There might be people
who have issues.

You first, you second.

Let's just say,
things didn't go as planned.

That's, like,
very condescending.

But you know she didn't
mean it as an insult.

- Shut the [BLEEP] up, Naomie.
- No F-words, please.

If I did not want
to fix things with you--

I understand you want to.

Get to know you better,
I would not approach you.

I understand that.

Okay, so what do you need
to get back to this?

- I don't need sh--.
- Here's the thing.

- Got it.
- Sorry.

♪ Ba, ba, doo,
ba, ba, dee-ee-ee ♪

♪ It's easy
as the birds and the bees ♪

♪ And the one, two, threes

Mm.

[dramatic tone]

[tense music]

Can I set the tone?
Can I set the tone?

- No, let me do it.
- Listen, listen, no, no, no.

There are times
where the issue gets muddled

into problems with not knowing
each other's personalities.

For example, in this moment,
Venita's personality

is kind of to speak that way.

I can see how you're receiving
it like that, okay?

Because you don't know her
that well yet, but I do think--

And she doesn't know me
that well yet.

And she doesn't
know you that well yet.

- So let's keep it equal.
- Right.

Kathryn, I know everyone
else attacks you at the table,

but I'm not here to do that.

I was talking to Olivia last.

Earlier you said to me,
"I hope you're not

raising your kids like that."

Yes.

That was ----ing
insulting me.

F-word--oops, sorry.

Don't give a sh--.

No sh-- words either.

[laughter]

I am so confused
as to what is going on.

I'm like,
can someone fill me in?

Just don't ask questions.

Nah, just don't
worry about it.

Just keep on drinking wine.

But why am I losing my cool?

- Jesus Christ.
- [laughs]

Do you want me
to pour it for you?

I'll pour it, I guess.

Otherwise, I might
drink out of the bottle.

[laughs]

Right.

So, Olivia, I can talk
to you, if that's all right.

Like, I want
to make sure that, like,

we both understand each other.

- All right, we can do it now.
- Let's do it.

- Like, I don't--
- Let's do it, come on.

You got it.
- No, I know I got it.

Thank you
for the encouragement.

Oh, hell.

We better drink up, ladies.

- I've had 20.
- Uh-oh.

I want to make sure
that at my party,

I'm good with everybody
at the table,

because, like, you and I, like,

when we were
at Kathryn's party,

I was like, oh, my God.

- Everything was good.
- It was good.

But then at Naomie's party,
I got a different Olivia.

But, like, I want the--

Well, you got the
Olivia that was walking

out of a bathroom
and had three girls

talking at the same time.

Yes, it's a little different.

Right, okay,
but, like, besides that,

when you told me to calm down--

No, no, no, calm down.
I don't need that.

- Don't tell me to calm down.
- I didn't stay calm down.

I put my hand in your face.
- That's even worse.

- Well, don't yell at me--
- So which one is it?

When I'm trying
to have a conversation.

- But you--
- I kept it cool.

Well, I was uncomfortable
at the fact

of how you walked away.

Because I heard you
throw out the word racist.

Kathryn was being racist.

And I'm not about
to stick around for that.

So you're not
about to stick around for it

because you're racist
or because you're not racist?

What?
What did you just ask me?

I'm asking because if you're
coming to Kathryn's defense--

No, no, no, no.

Which when I am
on the outside looking in,

it's like--

Here's what I--

Explain to me the fact
that you're not.

Here's why
it made me uncomfortable.

No, no, no, I was
uncomfortable with hearing

that word so easily tossed out
in a conversation

that involved me.

You and I have known
each other five minutes.

So when I hear
that word thrown out--

I don't even know what
the reason was you said it--

I'm checking out

because that's not okay
to throw that disgusting--

But why check out?

Explain--
- I'm not going to--

That to the group though.

You're not going to cancel
culture me out on this.

If I had that culture,
she would not be here.

Well, something's
going on over there.

I don't know what they could
possibly be talking about.

Right?

Okay, so, Whitney,
Whitney, come get me.

[laughs]

- FaceTime him.
- FaceTime?

How do I do it?

[FaceTime call ringing]

Here, you do it.
- Yeah, I will.

Come get your mom.

- What's that?
- She's ready.

Well, you're gonna leave,
and you're gonna come get her.

You won't ever understand
as a Black individual what

what like to have Kathryn
say those things,

and then to be in her presence.

I have nothing
to do with that.

That stuff between y'all--

But address it instead
of walking away because--

I'm all for having
those conversations,

not in a heated
conversation, so--

I got it, but, like,
there are some things

that you and I don't match on,
which is fine.

You've known me five minutes.

Exactly, and you've known me
less than five minutes.

And I'm not
making these claims

that we don't match on stuff.

How can you say that
when you don't know a person?

Can I talk
without you interrupting it?

Like, let me
actually say my piece.

No, I think we're done.

I think we're done
because I just think

you had another agenda
for this conversation,

and my agenda was to talk
about the issue at hand.

- Talk to me right now--
- About what?

If you're willing
to talk about that.

We're talking.

Okay.

Let's just go
finish your party.

- Outside of that--
- Let's finish your party.

We got to have
a real conversation though.

I'm down because
that was a weird one.

That didn't really
get us anywhere.

- It didn't.
- Are you good, V?

- Mm-hmm.
- Are y'all good?

Yeah.

I think we said
what we needed to say.

Are you okay?

None of this would have
happened if Madison

did not invite these two girls.

Like, I could have actually
had a Southern moment

if she was not trying to start
drama like she always does.

[sighs]

So are we through
with this, you know--

- So you're ready to go?
- Absolutely.

You're ready to go.

You're like,
"Please get me out of here."

all: Oh!

Happy birthday.

- Yeah.
- This just went out.

- No!
- Oh, no!

- Oh!
- Wait, wait.

We need a--
- Do that again.

No, we got to light mine.

- Wait.
- Oh, my God.

- No.
- [laughs]

Right now, all I want to do

is go home and,
like, cry on the couch

for about a good 30 minutes.

♪ Happy birthday

all: ♪ To you

♪ Happy birthday, dear--

- Pink ladies!
- ♪ Venita and Madison

all: ♪ Happy birthday to you

Cheers to a good year.

[tense music]

Coming up...

But what if Naomie
and I went to lunch?

No, that would be crazy.

How about this?

Just, like, have a drink
during the day

and be like, "What's going on?"

No.

[upbeat music]

♪

[chuckles]

[laughs]

Wait, you spit halfway through?
- Yeah.

[laughs]
- What?

No, that's fine.

I just--I don't have, like--

It just
in my head went sexual.

[laughs]

♪

[laughs]
Come on.

[grunts]

I cannot even put my shoes on.

[grunts]

My feet are so swollen
my socks don't fit.

Oh, my God.
[sighs]

I should probably
feed Tim really quick.

Tim the plant.

Give Tim some love.

Tim.
It's basil?

You have to speak
positive words--

Is it basil?
I hate basil.

So that he grows.

Tim is growing emotionally.

♪

- All right?
- Yeah.

I love our little
golf cart dates.

I love our little
golf cart dates too.

- I love this neighborhood.
- I do too.

This community also
decorates really well.

Yeah, I can't wait
to see it during Christmas.

Yeah.

Having Paige here is the best.

I'm definitely finding myself
missing her more and more

when she's gone.

The other night,
you said you wanted to have

a million Christmases with me.

I say really cute sh--
to you when I'm drunk.

- When you're drunk, you do.
- Yeah.

You say really cute sh--
when you're drunk.

I've never felt
this way before.

And when I think about
who's walking down the aisle

to meet me, it's Paige.

Oh, God.
It's a packed bar.

- How we doing today, guys?
- Hi.

both: Good, how are you?
- Doing pretty good.

Can I go ahead
and start you guys off

with something to drink?

I'm gonna do, like,

a spicy blackberry margarita
on the rocks.

All righty.

I'm gonna do
the same exact thing.

- Easy enough.
- Can we do a trio?

- Gotcha.
- Cheers.

Cheers.

How was Austen the other night?

He was good.

He wants to take me and Shep
up to Charlotte this week.

Oh, that'll be fun.

Yeah, do, like,
a little guys' night.

It'll be good for, like,
me, and Shep, and Austen

to, like, reconnect.

Yeah, that'll be nice.

And Austen, he, like,

found out Madison was engaged.

Was he sad?

He played it off
very, very well.

It couldn't happen
to a nicer person.

- Could have been you.
- Oh, man.

Like, I know that when she,
like, got engaged,

she was probably like,
"Austen's gonna freak out."

When I do get engaged,
the last person

I'm going to be thinking about
is the person I dated before.

But Charleston
is a weird place.

It is.

It is the smallest town ever.
- It's so weird.

And you guys all see
each other all the time.

Like, if I break up
with someone,

I'm never seeing you again.

No, I mean, sh--,

I went to a party
at Naomie's because,

like, it was all
of our friends,

and, like, it would
be weird not to go.

Right,
and I totally get that.

Like, group settings all day,
but I think being cordial

and being friends are
two very different things.

I wouldn't say friends,
but, like, Naomie and I

have been broken up for,
like, five years.

So what if Naomie
and I went to lunch?

No, that would be crazy.

I wouldn't go out with someone
I've previously slept with,

like, on a one-on-one.

How about this?

Like, I'm not going to get
my nails done with her.

Like, we're not
gonna be gal pals.

I thought it would
be fine to just,

like, go to,
like, a restaurant,

like, during the day
and just have a drink

and be like, "What's going on?"

No.

I think hanging out one on one
with an ex

while you are dating someone
is inappropriate.

I don't want to do anything,

but, like,
maybe it's the lawyer in me.

Okay, that's
the lawyer in you.

The Italian in me
would tell you no.

Okay, that's fair.

Look, I get it.

It would be way shadier
to hang out with Naomie

than it would, like,
my college girlfriend.

So I think in this context,

yes, you can't hang out
with an ex-girlfriend,

let alone one that you've
recently hooked up with.

I like the Italian.

There's definitely--
- You're welcome.

Unique things about you
that I think are really cute

now because of it.

Like murder?

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪

- How you doing, my friend?
- What's up, buddy?

both: Good to see you, man.

Do you need a menu
or Trop Hop?

Trop Hop.

♪

Hello.
- Hi.

- You look handsome.
- Hi, oh, stop.

Hi.
How are you?

I wore
these high tops for you.

- Did you?
- I literally did.

I love it.

And the backwards hat?
- I mean--

Or is that for you?

- That's for you.
- Oh, okay.

I love it.

That's, like, my weakness,
sneakers and a hat.

I know, and I like that.
That's so easy.

- Straws if you need them.
- Thank you so much.

You got it.

Can I order
some chardonnay please?

- You got it.
- Yeah.

Anything else right now?

- Tachos.
- We got you.

- We can get you.
- Thanks.

I'm glad we're
finally doing this.

Oh.

Do we have other
friends joining?

Yeah.

I was thinking that too.
I'm like--

- Yeah.
- Where's Shep and Taylor?

Where are we--
where's [indistinct]?

I know, I know.
We're like, what do we do?

We're so awkward
now that we're here.

What are we doing
by ourselves?

This is ridiculous.

Are we crashing y'all's date?
- It's a foursome.

It's like golf.
- This is great.

This is great.
- All right.

Yum.

One glass
of chardonnay for you.

- Thank you.
- When did I see you last?

- Before the garden party.
- Whose party was it?

I think it was a combined
birthday for Madison and Venita

and slash, congratulations,
Madison, on the engagement.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Surprise.
She's like, wait, wait.

Make it about me, me, me.

[laughs]

Although
it's a joint birthday,

don't forget
that I got engaged.

So everyone tell me how
wonderful that I am.

Even her engagement has to be,
like, a subtle dig.

[slurping drink]

Note to self, never
bring up Madison on a date.

And not to, like,
harp on this, but, like--

Oh.

She had me convinced that,
like, nobody liked me,

that I wasn't funny,
that I wasn't good-looking,

that people thought
I was an asshole.

Well, I just hate
that our sh--

has so much to do
with Madison, and--

- It doesn't.
- Like, I don't even get to--

- It doesn't.
- Go on a normal date with you.

We're talking about--
the amount--mm.

Okay, let's dive into that.

You can call it, like, PTSD.

You can call it whatever.

But, like, I was so vulnerable
with my last relationship.

It was like emotional whiplash.

The fact of the matter is,

is that we were together
for three years.

And it sucks to, like,
show that you're bothered,

because showing
that you're bothered

is, like,
a total sign of weakness.

So I understand
that it's gonna look

like I'm a petty, weak bitch.

And I hate that.
I ----ing hate that.

And it's, like,
spilled now into--

you know.

- Like, dating.
- Yes.

Yeah.

And I just want to,
like, take--

it sounds so weird to say.

- Take it slow?
- It's like--

Is that what
you're about to say?

Yes, I just--

- It's okay.
- And but, like--

I'm not sitting
here trying to, like,

lock it down, like,
"What are we?"

I'm not one of those girls.
- I know that you're not.

I like Austen,

but I think the fact that we're
having this conversation's

a little presumptuous.

I'm not moving back, like,
"Oh, like, I declare.

I got to get a husband now."

This is, like, our first time
being on a date by ourselves.

Why are we already talking
about taking things slow?

We, like, just got here.

And I know that it seems
like I am playing games,

but I'm, in fact, trying
to do the exact opposite.

No, I don't think
you're playing games.

I can tell you're, like,
sorting through stuff.

I think he's over-complicating
the part that should be

simple, and fun, and carefree.

I can't expect you,
by the way,

to, like, not go on dates,

like, because I'm moving at,
like, a snail's pace.

And I get it.
We've all been there.

We've all had
our bad breakups.

But at some point, you have
to not let your past issues

creep into, like,
your next chapter.

So where the hell
does this leave us?

I don't know, and I don't--
I don't know.

[tense music]

♪

Coming up...

With Olivia, I just
wanted to get to a point

where, like, are we just
gonna keep it cordial?

Are we gonna be--try
to have a friendship?

Yeah, and also, you don't
want to be, like, fake,

and you want to address it.

Right.

♪

[upbeat music]

♪

Ugh, so tired.

[groans]
Let me see stuff in here.

♪

It's time to set this up.

I probably shouldn't be
doing this by myself.

♪

I have no idea how
to do anything.

When people ask me,
do I feel prepared,

I'm like, "What does that
feel like, feeling prepared?"

I've never felt prepared
for anything in my life.

There's, like,
not even a manual.

[laughing] I don't get this.

And now I'm hormonal.
I'm nesting.

I'm going crazy
with this stuff.

So if her room is perfect,
then I'm prepared.

I'm gonna be a great mother.

[cell phone ringing]

All right, I'm gonna wait
for someone that knows better.

Mom.
Thank God.

Mom.

Hey, Mar-Mar.
How's it going?

Uh...
[laughs]

I'm trying to put together
this Graco baby swing,

and I'm fumbling.

I don't know how to do this.
I need John.

Literally, I don't
know what I'm doing.

I'm so excited
to have the baby.

But I have the crib all set up,

but I forgot
to buy a crib mattress,

so yeah, I can't exactly
put the baby on coils.

[laughs]

Yeah, I know.

And I asked my doctor,
"How do I breastfeed?"

And she told me to get

"The Womanly Art
of Breastfeeding,"

which is literally a 500-page
book on breastfeeding.

I'm not kidding.

I can't read.
I'm too ADD.

I can't focus.

But anyway--

That's a good point.

That's a good point, actually.

I love you.

My mom and I are very close,
but she's very much more into,

like, what people think,
Southern tradition,

Southern ways.

And you know,
when I got pregnant,

John and I,
we weren't married yet.

Oh, my God.

So I told my mom
very sheepishly.

I was like, "So I'm pregnant."

And she was like,
"What, what, what?"

Like, she was not happy.

So we were like, "Okay,
let's get married quickly

with a priest."

Then she was like,
"I'm having a granddaughter."

Like, it was like--

because then she could
tell her friends like,

"So Marcie's having a baby.
Oh, yeah, they got married."

I just got a bunch
of her little clothes

that I'm gonna put away.

I know.

I feel very overwhelmed
at the moment.

So when are you gonna be able
to come back and visit?

[laughing] Well--

It's kind of a double
standard in the South.

I mean, my grandmother
and other people in the family

were always "worried about" me
because I wasn't married yet,

didn't have children yet.

Meanwhile, Shep, he was
partying whenever and--

Oh, my God, dude.

No one said anything.

But now, even though
I'm the same person,

they, like, look up to me,
and respect me,

and admire me
like I won the Pulitzer.

I'm like, I just got married,
I'm having a baby,

but thanks, you know?

Will you buy me a stroller?

[laughs]

Whatever is
the most expensive

will you buy me 'cause--

[laughs]

♪

See how I want
to set this up.

Let's pour some honey in this.

Charles, are you gonna
help me pick which napkins

I should set out
for Leva's arrival?

[dog barks]

Oof.

♪

I am super particular.

Let me grab some tea.

Like, I need to know
where everything is

at every single moment
in my life.

Like, bags have a spot.
Perfume has a spot.

If a phone cord
is out of place,

it needs to go back
in the phone box.

If the onion salt is not
alphabetically correct,

it needs to go back where it is
before I start cooking

because then I can't cook.

Peppermint, dandelion.

It depends on what
you define as a problem.

[laughs]

I don't think
I have a problem.

I just think I like things
to be super neat.

Like, don't you want
to know where things are?

[laughing]
Like, I don't understand.

[knock at door]

[dog barks]
- Oh.

- Hi, friend.
- Hello.

How you doing?
- How are you?

- You look so cute.
- You look so cute.

Welcome.

Oh, it's so cute in here, V.

This is like
the single girl's dream.

It's like
a "Sex and the City"--

It's my little
Bachelorette pad.

Yeah!

And then I turned
my dining room into a closet.

Shut up.

I'm--you're, like,
a girl after my heart.

Oh, I forgot
about your Barbie collection.

Yeah, Barbie
collection always.

So cute.

I've been collecting
Barbies my entire life.

I have 27 Barbies.

You do not play
with the Barbies.

You leave them in the box.

You just admire them
and aspire to be them.

[tea kettle whistling]

So you walk through your
closet to get to the kitchen?

- Yeah.
- It's adorable.

- I have our little tea--
- Oh.

- Tea setup.
- You're such a good hostess.

Thank you.
Let's go outside.

Charles, you want
to help us go outside?

Come on, Charlesy.

[soft music]

This is you.
- Okay.

Charles, Leva needs
a place to sit down, sir.

No, Charles needs me.

Be my little heater.
Come on.

So how are you?

You look very cute
and fabulous.

Thanks.
I feel all right.

First of all, sorry for,
like, the garden party.

Are you?
[laughs]

I am.
No, I am.

There might be people
who have issues.

So in the spirit of realness--

- Oh, here we go.
- Uh-oh.

Love it.
I'm tuned in.

What's up?
- Let's like, fix it.

Remember, I'm a hostess.

I always get frustrated

when people are,
like, mad about something,

but they're
not really saying what.

When I saw you get upset,
that's why I was like,

"Talk to Kathryn
about your feelings,"

because that--
those are real feelings.

Oh, you mean Olivia?

Well, when you got angry
about the Kathryn thing,

and then got mad at Olivia.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's kind
of all one big fight.

- It's all one moment, yeah.
- Yeah.

And, like, my feelings keep
coming across so strong

because, like,
I don't get to have

these one-on-ones with people.

It's always like,
I have to now--

Jump at a party and, like--

Exactly, and that's
the only time I get to speak.

[tense music]

I wouldn't say I was
the best version of myself

at the garden party,
but I was the most open

that I'd ever been.

Like, I was just like,
this is who I am.

This is how I feel.
Take it or leave it.

With Olivia, I just think
at the end of the day,

there has to be
a super honest conversation.

- I don't open up a lot.
- Yeah.

And, like,
if I do open up to her,

and the reaction is not
what I want, and I'm just--

And then what happens?

It's just that, like,
then I'm guarded again.

Like, dang.

Like, I'm never gonna tell
somebody how I actually feel.

Like, I'll just keep skirting.

I wish what went down
between Olivia and I

I could have gone differently,
like, tenfold.

But, like, when it comes to,
like, trying to figure out

how to work through
a confrontation or argument,

I definitely, like,
step into the situation wrong

99.1% of the time.

- Like, just--
- Yeah.

Open up.

Like, I mean,
that's the person I know,

and I think that's the person
that people are gonna get

a read off of, like--

But you got to under--

It doesn't have
to be perfect.

Mm-hmm.

I mean,
it's like, as an adult,

I know I have
to figure out, like,

it's okay if someone says
that they don't like something.

That doesn't mean
that they hate me.

That means I just need
to figure out, like, okay,

how do I work
on that with them?

I just wanted
to get to a point where, like,

she says her piece
about how whatever I said

has made her feel,
I say my piece about how what

she's done has made me feel,
and then decide,

like, where is this going?

Yeah.

Like, are we just
gonna keep it cordial?

Are we going to be--try
to have a friendship?

Yeah, and also, you don't
want to be, like, fake,

and you want to address it.

Right.

♪

Coming up...

- Okay, bye.
- Bye, cutie.

[soft music]

Ah, I almost said,
"I love you, bye,"

but I didn't say it.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Hey.
- Yo, yo.

You ready
to go to "Char-lotte."

Yeah, hey, man.

I think Craig
is not far behind.

- Oh.
- What's up?

- There he is.
- The gang's assembled.

- Should I drive?
- No.

No, 'cause
I'm gonna get sick.

Craig.
You're driving, Craig?

- Yeah, I'll do it.
- You're driving.

I'll sit in the back
and stretch my legs,

so to speak.

♪

All right,
road trip to Charlotte.

- That's right.
- Another road trip.

♪

Shep, I'm still scarred
from when you tried

to drive us
to the Hamptons that time.

Remember that?
- I don't like to drive.

And Shep, like,
was doing this.

And I, like, threw up
out the window.

That was a nightmare.

It was not.

Shep is an awful driver,

like, absolutely awful.

It's how my dad drives too.

Shep terrifies me.

It's very, like, herky jerky.

All on the accelerator,
all on the gas.

Slams on the brakes, goes.
Slams on the brakes, goes.

They're effing liars.

Wait, so if your parents
sold the house,

like, where are we staying?

So we're gonna go
to the Ivey's Hotel Uptown,

and I've reserved three rooms.

Three.
Thank God.

So when we get
to Charlotte,

we're gonna check
into the hotel,

and I'm gonna leave you boys
for, like, a couple of hours

because I have this big meeting
with Harris Teeter.

If it goes well,
what does that mean?

There are 158 Teeters
in North Carolina,

and that's a hell
of a lot of volume.

That's awesome.

- Today is a big day.
- Today's a big day.

Craig, do not let this guy in.

I play that game
when I'm on the highway.

Do you?

What, just be a dick
for no reason?

No, I'm not being a dick.

It's just, like,
because then if they get in,

then it ----s up
my whole flow.

Let's listen to some music.

Yeah, okay.

♪ She's
my chrome-wheel lover ♪

♪ Rolling down the highway

Huh.

[country music]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
Go back to that song.

- I don't like rock.
- What?

It's not uplifting
enough for Craig.

♪ Anything you want,
baby, you got it ♪

♪ You ain't got
to ask me twice ♪

♪ You got it

[laughs]

♪ You got it

♪ Matter fact, put it
in the bed 'cause you got it ♪

Tomorrow, after we go
by your parents' house,

I'm eating lunch
with my nieces,

so I'm excited about that.

Are you gonna tell them
they almost had a new cousin?

[laughs]

- I would be into it.
- That would be great.

- To see you in the--
- What?

The baby carrier on your--

You want to see me
married so you can rub it

in my face when you go out,
and party, and get girls?

- No.
- Thanks a lot.

I want to go to the wedding.

I want to have
a bachelor party.

No one's gonna
survive the bachelor party.

[laughs]

[soft electronic music]

Hello, Charlotte,
Austen's former hometown.

I know, man.

♪

All right, the big city.

Hi.
Welcome to the Ivey's Hotel.

Thank you.

♪

Ah, Shangri-la.

[upbeat music]

♪

Jesus, Craig.

Mm.

♪

This is one of the bigger
meetings that I've had.

It's a huge next move for me
because Charlotte

is a much bigger market
than Charleston.

♪

Tucked in or out?

Like, it looks ten
times better tucked in.

Okay, so just, like--

You actually look like
you're there to do business.

- Okay, good.
- Yeah.

You're definitely--
- All right.

- All right, good luck.
- See you soon.

Let us know how it goes.

Mm.

[FaceTime call ringing]

Hello!

[chuckles]
Hey, baby.

Where are you?

You're at my house?

Are you--

Okay.

Will you steal some
of my forks?

Because I have too many.

[chuckles]
How are you doing?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.
We had a fun ride.

Craig drove.
He likes it.

He's like Rain Man.

He's an excellent driver.

[FaceTime call ringing]

Hi, pumpkin.

Hey, baby.

We just got to our hotel.

Austen booked us
this hotel, like,

Downtown, or Uptown,
or whatever they call it,

and it's cool.

He's at his meeting.

Some part of town.

I'm actually
really enjoying it.

I'm excited
to meet them one day.

I know.

Okay, I promise.

Bye, cutie.

♪

[high-pitched exhale]

♪

Ah, I almost said,
"I love you, bye,"

but I didn't say it.

♪

We're going to Queen
Park Social first to bowl.

And then there's,
like, seven, eight bars

that are close to the hotel.

So we're gonna
have a little fun.

Taylor, what am I gonna do?

Are you crazy?

She definitely is skeptical
of our time apart,

and that's because
of the past.

Shep, have you
been faithful to her?

I kissed a girl
in a stairwell,

and that's all it was.

But I'm really over it.

I need, like, five minutes.
- Of course.

I've said it over
and over again.

I am not gonna stop going
places and doing things.

Oh, my God.
How many drinks did you have?

It's obscene.

I'm not gonna sit here
and defend myself

for the rest of my life
because that's

a surefire way for things
to end with me, at least.

Taylor, I got to go.
I got to go.

[BLEEP]

Coming up...

I want a man who is loyal,
someone with kind eyes.

And I want to look
like they can pick me up.

That's right.

All right, because
I've never had that.

Yeah.
[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- How are ya?
- Good, how are you today?

Good, I think I'm meeting
some buddies down here.

Fantastic.

Take a look
at a cocktail menu?

I'll do an Alice
in Wonderland, please.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

♪

Our buddy's parents
sold their home up here.

He grew up up here.

So we're just up here
for a goodbye tour for him.

First of all,
he's holding court, obviously.

Great.
Second of all--

- What's up?
- What is that?

We're--try it.
It's phenomenal.

It's Alice in Wonderland.

Obviously,
the name alone got me.

- [laughs]
- He loves Disney.

This guy's a sucker.
- Yeah.

Except that movie
freaked me out.

I love it.
It's about people on mushrooms.

[laughter]

Speaking of mushrooms,
where have you been?

Just tripping my balls off.

No, I've been relaxing, man.

And I talked to Taylor too.

I know what I want, sir.

A Maddening Crowd.

All right,
we'll give it a shot.

Your leg's going
a little more than usual.

Everything good
on the home front?

She just--
I don't know, man.

She's like, "Be good."

I'm like, "What am I gonna do?"

Was she joking,
or is she worried?

She's always worried.

I just sensed her angst,

and it happens
every time I go somewhere.

Well, I mean,
that's always gonna be

a consequence of scars

of infidelity
in a relationship.

[tense music]

Taylor's anxious
when you leave town

because you keep cheating
on her when you leave town.

What--I mean,
how is she supposed to be?

Just, like, sleep
peacefully at night?

If it's gonna be a problem
every single time,

then there's
gonna be a problem.

If I was in that position,
I'd be like,

"I need a step
to regain your trust."

This was a year
and a half ago, bro.

I know, but I'm saying,
like, is there a way

that you could regain it?

I don't know.

If I haven't already,
then I never will.

Only time will tell.

♪

Here he is,
the beer baron himself.

What's up?

Lads, finding you exactly
where I want to find you.

Love this, you two spending
quality time together.

So what happened?

Drinks are on me
because I just

sold a sh-- ton of beer.

[cash register chimes]

The distributor was like,

having this beer
in our market is top priority.

And I was like--
- There you go.

You're good to sell
in Charlotte now?

- Yeah, huge.
- So this is your second state?

Second state.

You prove yourself
in these bigger markets,

and then that's how
you move to other territories.

And that is the goal.

Did they ask about me
at the meeting?

Or, like,
do they need any pillows?

- Will Shep--
- Did they need--

Yeah.

They were like, will Shep
be a part of the package deal,

yes or no?

They hadn't heard of me,
had they?

All right, let's do a shot
to celebrate Austen.

Three lemon drops, please.

Yeah, something
vanilla like that, yes.

Guys, that's how
we're gonna celebrate?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

We're gonna celebrate
all night.

A lemon drop?

So Shep, do you want to talk
about your thing out there now

or when we get drunk later?

- Drunk.
- Okay.

What thing?

He just had a convo
with Taylor.

Shep, what
the [BLEEP] happened?

Nothing.

[chuckles]
Let's celebrate.

- All right, to Austen.
- Aw, thanks, man.

Okay, all right.

Sh--, cheers.

Cheers, boys.

both: Congratulations, Austen.

Thank you, gentlemen.

[upbeat music]

Ah, am I gonna
black out tonight?

Eight ball says
highly possible.

[laughs]

♪

♪ Take me away

♪

All right, ladies.

What are we gonna
drink tonight?

- Tequila?
- Tequila's my favorite.

- Tequila for sure.
- Okay.

♪

Want to sit here?

- Yeah.
- Oh, this is so cute.

- This is so cute.
- We should sit up there.

- Yes.
- Be like party girls.

We should.
This is adorable.

It looks like California.
- Hi, ladies, how are you?

Would you like a couple
drink menus to look over or--

I think we want
a shot for sure.

- Okay, sure.
- Yes.

Tequila chilled
with a pineapple back.

Okay.

And then also
a bourbon and coke.

Bourbon and coke?
Yeah.

Yes, and then can we do,
like, a bottle of, like, rosé?

All right.
I'll get that started for you.

Thank you.

Hello.

Hey!
How funny that I literally--

Hi.
What's up?

- You look awesome.
- Good to see you.

I knew--I was like,
sh--, these girls

are gonna bring it today.

Hi, I have not met you.
I'm Amy.

- I'm Madison.
- But I've heard about you.

both: Nice to meet you.
- Did y'all get a drink?

Come and sit. Yeah.

I ordered some rosé
and tequila shots.

Oh, my God.

The last time we were here,

we went to Chippendales
that night.

- Yeah.
- You did?

They pulled
me up on stage.

Yes.
They pulled her up on stage.

She was twerking.
- Oh, my God.

[cheering]

♪

- Those were the days.
- Thank you.

- What's that, pineapple?
- Did you get four shots?

- I got a fourth one, yeah.
- Thank you.

Taking a bite out.

All right, girls.
Let's do this.

- Aw, all right.
- Okay.

All right.

Hopefully,
there's not a nip slip.

- Yes.
- So what are we cheersing to?

So now that I'm single,
new beginnings,

just that new-new.

- Yes.
- Yes.

To boyfriends. Cheers.

Okay.

♪

That was quite a lot.

- Thank you, thank you.
- Oh, of course.

Ladies, is there anything else

I can get
for you at the moment?

We have three
single beautiful women here,

so if you have any boys too,
you can bring them.

Let us know
if there's any big spenders.

[laughter]

I'll try
to round some up for you.

- Just kidding.
- No, we're kidding.

So much fun.

Let's flirt and be weird.

Y'all have
to teach me the ways.

What's your type?

Historically speaking,
I do not have a type.

But I want a man who is loyal,
someone with kind eyes,

and I want them to be fit
enough to look like

they care about their health.

And I want to look
like they can pick me up.

That's right.

All right, because
I've never had that.

Yeah.
[laughter]

Like tall, dark,
handsome, mysterious,

so Hayden Christensen.

[soft music]

Well, my type is
what I got, so--

Yeah, he is.

Yeah, exactly, like Brett.

It's like--
- Like Brett.

Who I have, Brett. Yeah.

And that's what I can say
about my fiancé.

He legit makes me a better
person because he supports me.

But I've also been
in that relationship,

and, I mean, you know, like--

Yeah.

I was in a relationship
where it was like,

nobody likes y--
I mean, I'm still--

I literally still feel like I'm
in that because he is around,

and I'm around him.

When I told Austen
I was gonna marry Brett,

he said, "I think
you're picking the wrong guy."

I was like, oh, God.

Only you would say that instead
of just congratulate me.

Like, what do you
have to offer me?

Some ramen in a trap house?

Like, no.

Is your man moving here,
or does he live here now?

- He's in California, right?
- Yeah, he's in California.

- That's where I want to go.
- Where in California?

- Sacramento.
- Oh, okay.

So we're gonna do both.

Yeah, what
are y'all going to do?

We're going to do bicoastal,
but, like, he's Mormon.

So we're definitely not
moving in with each other

until we are married.

- Dang, that's amazing.
- That's really sweet.

When he told me
he was a Mormon, I said--

[gasps]
[groans]

"Do I have to wear
those undergarments?

I don't even wear panties.
I can't do that."

Let me tell you what's funny.

He said, so...

What?

- Sex is self-care.
- Right.

You know?

But that's how I get
through the, like, weeks off.

[laughter]

Coming up...

You know sh--,
and I know sh--,

and everyone knows
sh-- except Taylor.

Come here.

[dramatic music]

[electronic dance music]

♪

Thank you.

Shots, shots, shots,
shots, shots, shots.

Oh, okay.

What's up, boys?

- Hey, what's going on?
- Hey!

Oh!

Hey, Whitley.

What's up, man?
- How you doing?

I have regular,
sugar-free, or watermelon.

- So, Austen, how are we doing?
- Hey.

- Hey.
- What's up, man?

Can I get you something
to drink, babe?

Shot and a beer.
Shot and a beer.

- Do you have Jager?
- I do have Jager.

- Jager.
- Five Jagers.

What'd you guys get,
your drink?

Double Rebel vodka.

The college sh--.

Make it three!

[laughs]

Lads, salud.

♪

Can I get a size 12 shoe?

- Yeah.
- 11 1/2.

Can I have 11 1/2 too,
please?

♪

Oh, I feel good.

I need
to get out of a mood.

I'll be taking care
of you guys.

- Oh.
- Oh, sweet.

Good.

Did you guys get a chance
to look at the menu?

No, here's the thing.

I don't want to use my hands
much because bowling alley--

I'm going to stick my fingers
in these bowling balls.

Shep, when
you eat food, you--

- We have salads.
- Oh, no.

No, I'm not that crazy.
- This is basic.

I would like a chicken
quesadilla, please.

That sounds good.

What about pulled
chicken tacos?

- Got it.
- I put you in there as Bill.

Billy Rose.

♪

Yeah!
Billy Boy's back.

Bill!
Oh, sh--.

We got a lot of food.
- Yeah, you got a lot of food.

Oh, my God.

What are we gonna do
with all this food?

Eat it!

[soft music]

Hey, guys?

Let's give--come here, Whit.

Let's do it for Taylor.

Boys?
- Okay.

All right.

- Tell her that I love her.
- Well, we don't stay mad long.

- Tell her that I love her.
- I will.

- Hey.
- I know.

Everyone knows you love her.
- Remember what Shep says.

If we avoid the problem,
it will go away.

Yeah, yeah.

As long as you don't
address that she's mad--

You said that to us.

You said it
the other day to us.

You were literally
going, hey,

if you avoid the problem--

You said, if we don't ever
acknowledge that she's upset,

she'll eventually
get over it and--

All right, I ignored it!
And it worked!

- It doesn't work!
- No, it did not work.

That's why you're getting
yelled at right now.

Shep is a one-man band.

He's a solo performer.

Even having
a backup dancer on stage

would drive him crazy
if he noticed people

were watching the dancer
and not him.

He goes where he wants
when he wants.

- I just want to have fun.
- Yeah, we know.

- I just want to dance.
- Deflect, deflect, deflect.

Shep's just not
a relationship guy,

and he's honestly
not cut out for it.

[phone chiming]

[tense music]

Austen, look at this.

Holy sh--.

Yeah, she's--

How is that?

- Bro, she's sending him
- ---ing paragraphs.

"Please just know that I love
you and I'm not against you.

"Please, I'm begging,
don't be defensive towards me.

I've got severe anxiety
about how I've acted."

Right now,
I'm like, don't sink us.

Don't be the architect
of your own demise.

- Right, right.
- You know what I mean?

Like, that's the worst.

Once you stray,
then the trust is broken.

It's like an ongoing battle.

And Taylor has proved
that this sh--

will bother her forever.

Oh!

Craig, Craig,
Craig, Craig, Craig.

Nope.
Oh!

I'm gonna go get some cash.

Now I overcompensated
and went left!

Okay, someone's gonna
bowl for Bill.

Where is Shep?
- At the ATM--

Oh, I--no,
I see him over there.

- Per usual.
- He's just talking.

Have you ever
woke up in jail?

- Yes.
- Me too.

What did he tell you
about Taylor?

Not the truth.

She's texting and being like,

"Are you gonna cheat
on me tonight?"

Everything that--she's just
super ----ing insecure

about everything.

Yeah, but what's
happening is,

is that Taylor thinks
it's only a campfire.

What Shep's freaking
out about is

there are landmines,
and accelerant,

and gasoline all over.

And he goes, if you keep
stoking this campfire,

it's going to explode.

You want a drink?

But, like, do you think that
it's gonna, like, explode?

Like, I don't think
it's that big of a deal

that Taylor is saying--

You know sh--,
and I know sh--,

and everyone knows sh--
except Taylor.

Cheers.

[dramatic music]

On the next episode
of "Southern Charm"...

Mom, you remember when I used
to jump out of this window?

I do.

I used to hang
from it and drop.

[laughs]

Damn, I don't think I've ever
not been invited to something

in my entire life.

[upbeat music]

- Hi.
- Hello.

- You look so pretty.
- Hi.

So do you.
- Hi.

Good to see.
You look beautiful.

This little potbelly pig's
kind of got a big dick.

That's not a dick.

It's a nipple.
[both laugh]

How are you and Kathryn?

I do feel like
I have been gaslighted.

I think being around her
is ----ing crazy sometimes.

The [BLEEP] she's doing here?

Why do you care?
Why do you care?

No one that I'm interested in
will be friends with her.

Friends?

I'm waiting for the day
for you not to care about her.

This party is already
starting off with a bang.

I love it.