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the
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i'm loyal i'm on earth i'm dramatic
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i am happy my the time
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i'm an aunt hey i'm a sister
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i'm a daughter and on transgender
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when i look at myself without makeup
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i'm not that happy with what i'm
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looking at i will never leave the
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house without makeup
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i get up three hours before i
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have to start way
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i paint the faith so that i
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can feel confident
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and it's an insecurity of mine i'm
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still worried about being clock ten looking
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masculine
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i come to my deal with stan
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i've even think people taking photos of
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me and i know one big and
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know i'm out there
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and i know i don't look like
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mk yet
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so it's hard but like much higher
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think to myself i've got their attention
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on the fincher of the universe for
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that small amount of time that they
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taking a photo of me or mocking
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me laughing at made regardless of whether
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it's good or bad
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i remember brain such and mexican i'm
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what have a feeling why do i
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feel like a woman winds why i
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want to have big boobs why do
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i want to have a job or
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a vagina
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why do i want to be a
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mom not a dad
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both
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at least pretend now's that go on
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nine year pilot joe ah
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i knew that i was different however
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out about thirteen our knew that i
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was attracted to men
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i thought may being feminine and may
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being a woman was what game and
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felt so i came out of i'm
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effects will do and in dribs and
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drabs my family panned out it's sad
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to say a lot i get a
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bit upset about it but my mom
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was sort of the last to find
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out
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and i think that's because i respect
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her and i love her and i
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know that she loves me unconditionally
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lot of in a in the back
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of my mind is always been that
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loves wrong my capsule i still love
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percent
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and wasn't not long after you moved
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here that he just said this is
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what i am so that took like
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nice seconds at all to accept it
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was just that was that's the way
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it is
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the hardest thing to do was the
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habit that you get yourself into as
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a mother i have been calling use
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this for the last seventeen eighteen years
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now i'm trying to
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the except as part of it nice
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or price just needed to go into
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because that was just that's my my
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daughter
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the man has a long time ago
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i remember always be mistaken for ago
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because i had a member that time
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i took a to get a katniss
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button and trying to bite that hairdresser
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limits you are you going to kind
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of that's it i've gone now parmesan
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age of his finger
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i just remember my what i was
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dealing with and of how confused so
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on
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i was wondering why you know my
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girl cousins were growing breath thin looking
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feminine and mine was fun
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when i look at my body
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i'm i'm i'm gonna fetch
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how are you i'm good how are
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you calling a school could so yeah
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just basically want to talk about putting
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a plan in place because i don't
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want to get all my surgery to
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that's never been like i don't know
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if i want to get the silent
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now for want to get that like
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i know that i want my boobs
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sign on like figures to look feminine
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i want of
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general vagina like i want to order
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a have an idea of what i
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want to look like but i also
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have an idea of how i want
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to feel when i wake up and
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that's them that's important to me and
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my family nice my mom is scribe
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like even know that i'm that happy
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jolly cheerful bit like they still know
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that deep down i heard a lot
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it'll
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i've been dealing with anger issues most
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of my life
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my female brain does not match my
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male body and the fact that nobody
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understood that frustrated the fuck outta me
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die was becoming a real bitch to
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be around
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and now i have to go to
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anger management classes to deal with it
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i never thought that i would get
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to this place so now that i'm
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at the spice i am i feel
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that it's only natural that i take
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the next progressive stat getting surgery and
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making sure that i grow old gracefully
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but also the way i want to
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feel
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one my i've can say well what
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i should be looking at i'm going
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to rothwell
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when be on when the about lepage
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home run that's all sprint the bitch
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i've been really busy with work with
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moving ends
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you know obviously there's no time for
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man i have got rid of all
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them little tag along somebody
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without attacking too much time my knock
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off
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with fix it for feeling from time
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it makes me feel good and the
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my man
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bots i know that the into the
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day they have any screwed me because
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they've got some little finish
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i never feel but that would ever
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want to be with me or make
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love to me
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now ready to fuck me and then
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fuck off you know and i mean
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that's why i've never been in love
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is because i've never opened myself because
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i'm scared there's no emotional attachment to
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the person i can't give that because
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i can't even give it to myself
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yet
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my ultimate man on my ideal man
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would definitely have to be funny
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when have to be accepting to a
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big family for go to mumbai thought
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can have to be torn because of
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his sword
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on flog i'm moran the amount of
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man
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i'm sure that he would need to
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have culture
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an aboriginal culture they are as an
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area that said and can guy
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i would love to just be able
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to go and hang out with the
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women and specific areas that are any
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female for layout
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and i hope that one day that
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my paypal or the walkable can copy
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copy women except me into their women's
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business because i have such strong left
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for my culture
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but then i'm also fearful of disrespecting
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it because i don't know where i
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fit and
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i may not be able to say
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to my nephews this is how we
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do this in our culture and i
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may not be able to sites my
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mates for thought this is how we
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do this and and culture
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but i can explain to them how
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we love and how we share and
191
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how we can make it's because that's
192
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been around me forever
193
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stasi i is my best friend way
194
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share a lot of things together we
195
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have grown up together
196
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the one has been there for me
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constantly surprised to being on estrogen and
198
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going through all my anxieties and depressions
199
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though it times where i couldn't get
200
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out of fans she's always spain then
201
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i want people to know that you
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know she is her she is she's
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still
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here and transgender doesn't make you a
205
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different paths and sigh i just want
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everybody to kind of know that in
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i she'll always be my sister always
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has been always will obey
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i went to the doctor to the
210
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other day and i was talking to
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her about getting my sources do it
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would you come to mama and it's
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name yeah thought made like to people
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they yeah
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having made like mom and yourself how
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don't want to fluffy dog i want
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to make sure that so i've i
218
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think it's not a good because like
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it's gonna be brain years i want
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it to sign that said i want
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that in more
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how little wary for the i wouldn't
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fit in with and now and still
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a big money laundering
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what i would like to say to
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him it became faith
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bianca me
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if everything's going to be a good
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you don't know it yet pay you're
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going to change people's lives
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going to make people smile going to
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make people cry
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you're not going to change that for
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you are
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you want to laugh you want to
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go through some really hard time
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you know going to last long because
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you going to head into is beautiful
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business stuff you're a crowbar down
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box
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you're going to be okay
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keep finding
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and yes you should have given that
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play dumb at thirteen you fill a
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little off our
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i love blind order i went a
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lab care regardless and i think that's
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what helps
249
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yeah
250
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i hope that my strength and courage
251
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and personality will help our younger generation
252
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she was scared to come out and
253
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say i'm a woman or on the
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man or i'm neva or i'm buying
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cause you are except maybe not from
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everybody
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but you are
16237
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