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1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,254
[theme music playing]
2
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,721
(narrator)
You're traveling
Through another dimension.
3
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:16,350
A dimension not only
Of sight and sound,
But of mind.
4
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:20,103
A journey into a wondrous
Land whose boundaries
Are that of imagination.
5
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,314
Your next stop,
The twilight zone.
6
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,570
[laughter]
7
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:31,907
Ladies and gentlemen,
We're certainly glad
To be here tonight.
8
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,367
Speak for
Yourself, turkey.
9
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,952
That's jerry.
10
00:00:35,35 --> 00:00:37,37
Every dummy
To his own taste.
11
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,39
Now, cut that out.
12
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,542
All right.
Let go of the suit.
I'm getting out of here.
13
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:45,45
Now, wait
A minute, willy.
Just stay right here.
14
00:00:45,87 --> 00:00:46,129
| mean it.
15
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,131
Uh-huh.
16
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:51,218
I'm sorry.
If | said anything,
1, uh, | didn't mean it.
17
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,929
Oh, no?
18
00:00:54,12 --> 00:01:00,227
Just tell me this, wise guy.
You did admit that you were
Superstitious, didn't you?
19
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,521
Well, on occasion, yes.
20
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:06,400
But you don't throw salt
Over your shoulders or
Cross your fingers.
21
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,776
No, | knock on wood.
22
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,27
You did it again.
23
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,612
Wait a minute.
24
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,447
| resign.
From now on,
I'm a single!
25
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:16,76
As for you,
You can turn
In your lap.
26
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:19,454
Uh, why, willy, uh,
27
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:23,166
In the first place,
What would you do
Without me?
28
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:28,255
Well, for one thing,
| could be a better
Ventriloquist.
29
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,257
Oh, yeah?
30
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,634
Yeah. Watch this.
31
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,761
[imitating willy]
A funny thing
Happened to me
32
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,264
On my way over to
The club tonight.
33
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:40,17
[imitating jerry]
Is that a fact? What
Happened, blockhead?
34
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,352
| was out in front
Of the ritz-savoy.
35
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,857
That's where
| live. Out in front
Of the ritz-savoy.
36
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:51,194
They put formaldehyde in
Those jokes? Something
Must preserve them.
37
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,864
[laughter]
38
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:02,456
You're watching
A ventriloquist
Named jerry etherson,
39
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:06,293
A voice-thrower par
Excellence. His alter
Ego, sitting atop his lap,
40
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:09,296
Is a brash stick
Of kindling with
The sobriquet "Willy."
41
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:12,90
In a moment, mr. Etherson
And his knotty-pine partner
42
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:15,10
Will be booked into one
Of the out-of-the-way bistros.
43
00:02:15,93 --> 00:02:20,140
That small dark,
Intimate place known
As the twilight zone.
44
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:26,605
We play places like, uh,
Miami, los angeles, utah.
45
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:30,233
Hey, jerry.
How about san quentin?
46
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,319
[laughter]
47
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,780
Play there, but not
Fora very long time.
48
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,866
Anyway, you've been
A wonderful audience,
And we wanna thank you.
49
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,118
Willy, | think it
Would be very nice
50
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:44,331
If you'd say goodnight
And thank you to all
These wonderful people.
51
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:49,169
You can do anything |
Can do better? All right,
Wise guy. Can you do this?
52
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,880
[laughter]
53
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:55,550
Come around tomorrow night,
Folks. I'll be alone.
Just you and me.
54
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:59,429
Willy, | think,
Little pal, we
Better cut out, huh?
55
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,15
Let me tell you
Something, folks.
56
00:03:02,57 --> 00:03:05,686
As soon as | shake this pusher
And get me a real act, you're
Gonna see some class!
57
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,63
[laughter]
58
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:11,24
Thank you again,
Ladies and gentlemen.
59
00:03:11,66 --> 00:03:14,277
Help, I'm being
Kidnapped! Call a
Lawyer! Call a doctor!
60
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:17,30
Never mind.
Just get me to
The nurse on time!
61
00:03:17,72 --> 00:03:18,573
Ow!
62
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,661
[dance music starts]
63
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,652
[dance music continues]
64
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,935
[dance music continues]
65
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,439
[door opens and closes]
66
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,357
(man)
What do you
Say, maestro?
67
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,151
How did it go?
68
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:39,279
Not bad.
It's a small house,
But a happy one.
69
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,656
There weren't
Any complaints.
Well, booby--
70
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,117
Frank!
71
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,620
Don't do that.
| told you that.
72
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,830
Still on
The bit, huh?
73
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,213
You still on
That stuff, huh?
74
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,466
You gave me your solemn
Promise you were gonna
Do your drinking
75
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:03,595
Out of soda pop bottles
And coffee jugs. What does it
Take, jerry, to get you wise?
76
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,472
I'm tired. Will
You clear the area?
77
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,849
First I'd like
To clear the air.
78
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:11,61
| don't know where
You manufacture all
Your illusions, jerry.
79
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,480
But instead
Of being on top,
Where you ought to be,
80
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,525
At present,
You're a second-rate
Nightclub entertainer.
81
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,610
If you stay
On that bottle--
82
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,696
All right, I'll put away
The bottle. Now, will
You pull out?
83
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,118
| don't know why
| waste my time.
84
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:32,541
Ten percent of you is
Grief, and it's always
Been that way.
85
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,418
Maybe it's because
I've got a soft spot
In my heart
86
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,755
For people who like
To commit suicide
Eight hours a day.
87
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,925
Now, listen, jerry.
88
00:05:42,08 --> 00:05:44,177
It doesn't have
To be this way.
89
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,347
You give in to some bad
Hooch and then you have
Bad nightmares.
90
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,892
It's as simple as that.
Take away the hooch, and
You take away the nightmares.
91
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:54,896
You got the chronology wrong,
Frank. First the nightmares
And then the hooch.
92
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:59,192
| drink 'cause |
Have to, and | have to
93
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,778
Because of him.
94
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,114
I've gotta get
Rid of him, frank.
95
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:08,76
This stick of wood?
This fugitive from
A fireplace?
96
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:11,788
Jerry, how
Many psychiatrists
Do you have to see?
97
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:15,375
How many hours on the couch
Does it require? How many
20-buck-an-hour visits?
98
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,627
| can't help it.
99
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,963
You can help /t.
You know what it /s,
You've been told.
100
00:06:20,46 --> 00:06:23,383
Often, endlessly, up
To my craw in overflowing
Schizophrenia. | know it.
101
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:26,803
Patient feel helpless
And manipulated by forces
Outside of his control.
102
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:30,932
| can give it to you
Frontwards, backwards,
In three different languages.
103
00:06:31,16 --> 00:06:34,811
It's like a well-rehearsed
Off-color gag. Patient goes
From himself to a dummy
104
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:38,815
And then is unable to separate
Himself from the dummy. That's
Very psychiatric and erudite
105
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:42,319
And worth about 2 1/2 bucks
A word, but it's not right.
It's not right!
106
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:46,72
|! Told them that, | tell
You that. It's no more
Schizophrenia-paranoia
107
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,451
Than /t 1s athlete's
Foot ora head cold!
Will y's alive!
108
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,745
He's a dummy!
He's a block
Of wood.
109
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,331
Look at it.
Does this thing
Look alive to you?
110
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,83
Well, does he?
111
00:06:57,167 --> 00:07:01,504
Twenty-four inches of timber
And you're shoveling yourself
Into a grave over it.
112
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:05,425
Now, you listen, jerry.
I've gone along with you.
113
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:11,514
I've held your hand,
I've sung you lullabies,
| patted you on the shoulder.
114
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:16,102
I've also covered for you
The 110 performances
You've run out on.
115
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:20,190
I've thought of excuses
That haven't even been
Invented, yet.
116
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,777
I've gone without
Commission, without sleep.
117
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:28,31
And why? Because
| thought | hada
Talented article here
118
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:32,35
That eventually was
Gonna crawl out from under
A bottle and hit it b/g.
119
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:40,418
Well, | don't think
You're such a talented
Article anymore, jerry.
120
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:47,634
Let's put it
This way. Maybe |
Think you could be,
121
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,719
But you're
Never going to.
122
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,347
| think you're
A self-indulgent sot
123
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,683
With an overactive
Imagination,
124
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:57,769
And the only thing
You like better than
Scotch is sympathy.
125
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,902
I'm gonna give you
Just 24 hours to
Straighten out.
126
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:10,657
Get rid of that bottle and get
Rid of the crazy obsession
That you're battling a dummy.
127
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:22,02
Frank...He's alive.
128
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,171
Willy's not a dummy.
129
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,934
That's a dummy.
130
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,771
And that's
The answer.
131
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,773
Go on.
132
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:47,527
Gotta get rid of willy,
Make a whole new routine.
133
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,529
A whole new
Routine takes time.
134
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,823
You've got another
Show in half an hour.
135
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,951
Tell them | can't make
The late show. Tell them
I'm sick or something.
136
00:08:55,35 --> 00:08:58,538
I've already told them.
The trouble is, they
Know it's "Something."
137
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,791
And they know something
Is bottled in bond.
138
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:05,128
Jerry, you pull yourself
Together. And when you
Hear your music
139
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:09,758
You be out on that stage.
| don't care which dummy you
Bring, but you be out there.
140
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:12,469
This is one | don't
Cover for, jerry.
141
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:23,980
[audience applauds]
142
00:09:24,64 --> 00:09:28,68
Say, goofy goggles,
Why don't you have
Your glasses fixed?
143
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:31,446
| don't have to.
My eyes are much
Better now.
144
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:34,407
Goofy, you're looking
At the band leader.
I'm over here.
145
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:39,829
Keep talking, I'll find you.
Say, etherson, I've been
Meaning to tell you
146
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,749
You put too much
Starch in my collar.
147
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:47,87
Too much starch in your
Collar? I'm not your
Laundry man.
148
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:51,341
Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna
Make it, you and me.
149
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,384
Just you and me.
150
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:29,462
Jerry. Marsha, listen
To this. Make me talk,
Jerry, come on.
151
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,506
Look, noreen, I'm on
In a couple of minutes.
152
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,967
Makes you sound
Just like willy.
Come on.
153
00:10:34,08 --> 00:10:36,136
(willy)
Knock it off, babe,
That tickles.
154
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,12
Willy, shut up!
155
00:10:38,96 --> 00:10:40,682
Is that wild?
Is that wild?
156
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,820
[applause]
157
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:01,327
Goofy. Goofy, | think
It's time you had your
Glasses fixed.
158
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,163
| really do.
159
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,165
My eyes are
Much better now.
160
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,876
Goofy, you're talking
To the band leader.
I'm over here.
161
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:10,86
Keep talking,
"Ll find you.
162
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,380
Goofy, | think
You need your
Eyes tested.
163
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,715
Eyes tested?
164
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,341
That's right.
Eyes tested.
165
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,676
Well, I'm ready.
166
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,512
All right, here.
167
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,723
Now, tell me
What that says.
168
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,266
Where?
169
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,18
[laughter]
170
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:29,439
Oh. That thing.
How about a hint?
171
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:33,26
Goofy, it's-it's
Clear as day. It's
Right in front of you.
172
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,944
Just give me a hint.
173
00:11:35,28 --> 00:11:38,448
Well, it's a letter,
And it's between
"D" and "Fo"
174
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,451
I've got it.
It's "Ee "
175
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,745
| don't know how
You do it, goofy.
176
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,873
| cannot tell a lie.
| memorized it.
177
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,417
Oh, for goodness'
Sake. Sing your
Song, will you?
178
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:54,380
Jj are the stars
Out tonight? Jj
179
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:59,636
| don't know if
It's cloudy or bright j
180
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,388
Jj'cause | only
Have eyes jj
181
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,265
Cute act,
Isn't it, georgie?
182
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,351
What's cute about it?
183
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,270
Besides, | liked
The old dummy better.
Why did he change it?
184
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:12,273
You know, brightens it
Up alittle. Gives it
Some novelty.
185
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:15,985
Novelty? With
A ventriloquist?
186
00:12:16,69 --> 00:12:18,821
Frankie, you've seen one,
You've seen them all.
187
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:22,242
Every dummy looks
The same. And if just
Once they changed the jokes,
188
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:25,245
I'd have a coronary.
189
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,746
What's with
Etherson, anyway?
190
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,82
What do you mean?
191
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:32,335
Usually the acts mix
With the trade, you know,
Walk down on the floor,
192
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,671
Do a little drinking
With the customers.
193
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,90
This guy plays it
Like greta garbo.
194
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:41,344
Locks himself up
In his room like
A prima donna.
195
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,762
Well, he's
Nervous tonight.
196
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,139
Why?
197
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:48,643
You know, he hasn't been
Well. It's his first night
Out in a month or so.
198
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,187
Give him a chance,
Georgie. He'll warm
Up for you.
199
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,856
Well, you tell him to.
Tell him to bring
The dummy out
200
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:57,360
And walk around the
Tables after the show.
201
00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,113
It's, uh,
Psychological, frankie.
202
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,615
Makes people thirsty.
203
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:05,827
[applauses]
204
00:13:13,01 --> 00:13:14,711
[humming]
205
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,880
[lusty purring]
206
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,133
[dance music starts]
207
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,480
Sweet dreams, willy.
208
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:37,483
Your next booking
Is in the fireplace.
209
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,513
You leaving?
210
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,682
What's it look
Like, frank?
211
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:12,727
It looks like
You're leaving.
212
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:14,687
| waited for you
After the last show.
213
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:17,231
Georgie was hoping
You'd mix with
The customers.
214
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:21,27
You tell georgie I'm
A ventriloquist,
Not a shill.
215
00:14:21,69 --> 00:14:23,863
Why don't
You tell him?
216
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:26,366
What does that mean?
217
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,951
That means
I'm resigning
From the club.
218
00:14:29,35 --> 00:14:32,789
You keep your
Ten percent, and I'll
Keep my self-respect.
219
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:38,711
Also my sense of humor,
My regular meals, my
Normal working hours.
220
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,922
You and | have
Had it, jerry.
221
00:14:41,05 --> 00:14:43,591
| have gone the
Route and then some.
222
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,94
You don't need an
Agent. You need
Medical help.
223
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:49,806
| think it's
Reached that now.
224
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,141
You never believed me,
Did you, frank?
225
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,727
Yeah, | believed you.
226
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:59,65
| believed you had obsessions.
| believe those obsessions
Were eating you up alive
227
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,402
But | also
Believe, jerry,
You're letting them.
228
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,570
He talks when
| don't talk.
229
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,490
He tells jokes | never
Heard of before, gives
Me bum cues.
230
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,743
He's alive, frank.
That's why | locked
Him in that trunk.
231
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,289
Goofy and | are gonna
Fly out of here, frank.
232
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:19,502
We'll fly to miami,
Los angeles, maybe that
Place in kansas city.
233
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:22,630
The place in kansas city
Is the same as miami,
234
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:26,134
Which is the same as
Los angeles which is the
Same as sioux city, iowa,
235
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:29,11
Which is the same
As any town south,
West, north of here.
236
00:15:29,95 --> 00:15:32,765
They're all the same,
Jerry. And you're not
Gonna leave willy
237
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:37,687
By hopping a plane
Or a train, or a taxi
Or a one-horse shay.
238
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,189
This thing you
Lick right here.
239
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,608
This thing you
Lick at the source.
240
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,611
This thing you
Don't run away from.
241
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,407
We'll see.
242
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,376
Good night,
Mr. Etherson.
243
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,837
Good night, ralph.
244
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,841
(willy)
You're not gonna leave me in
A stuffy old trunk, are you?
245
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,99
Was there something,
Mr. Etherson?
246
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,229
Did you say something?
247
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:23,858
Is said good night,
That's all.
248
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,569
Good night.
249
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:10,696
(willy)
Aw, come on, old sport.
/ wouldn't lock you
In a trunk.
250
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,34
Willy?
251
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,578
Where are you, willy?
252
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,670
(woman)
Jerry?
253
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,974
Good night, jerry.
254
00:17:38,57 --> 00:17:40,226
Good night.
255
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:53,739
[willy laughing]
256
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:10,89
(willy)
Hey, garibaldi!
257
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:13,175
Didn't you
Forget someone?
258
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:19,98
Didn't you
Forget willy?
259
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,976
[footsteps approaching]
260
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,276
Jerry?
261
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:36,157
Noreen. Oh.
262
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,951
Noreen, | was
Waiting for you.
263
00:18:39,35 --> 00:18:41,287
Yeah, that's right.
264
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,956
| was waiting for you.
265
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,42
The line is,
"This is so sudden."
266
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,377
And in this case,
It happens to
Be sudden.
267
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,464
No, I-l| was
Waiting for you
268
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,09
Because I-| want
To have a drink
With you, noreen,
269
00:18:55,92 --> 00:18:58,137
Or maybe a sandwich
Or something,
You know?
270
00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,972
Noreen, you're
A good kid,
271
00:19:00,14 --> 00:19:02,308
And I've always thought
You were a good kid,
272
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,18
And I've always
Wanted to--
273
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,811
Easy, jerry. Easy!
274
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,147
Honey, listen.
Wait a minute,
Noreen, look.
275
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:10,399
What's the matter
With you, jerry?
276
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,486
There's nothing
The matter with me.
No, I'm not sick.
277
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,739
| just wanna have
A drink with you.
| don't wanna be alone.
278
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,575
| keep hearing those
Voices and willy
Is bugging me.
279
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,662
No, wait a minute!
Willy is bugging me
Wait a minute!
280
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,997
[screaming]
281
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:30,419
[willy laughing evilly]
282
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,572
(willy)
What do you
Say, stranger?
283
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:01,951
You slumming?
[laughs]
284
00:20:02,34 --> 00:20:04,954
A funny thing happened
To me on the way to
The club tonight.
285
00:20:05,37 --> 00:20:07,289
| was out in front
Of the ritz-savoy.
286
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:10,42
That's where /| live.
Out in front of
The ritz-savoy.
287
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,586
[laughing]
288
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,757
[laughing wildly]
289
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,724
Come out, come out,
Wherever you are.
290
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,17
[laughing wildly]
291
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:29,311
Hey, wise guy.
292
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,731
Hey! Wise guy!
293
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,318
[laughing wildly]
294
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:49,123
[wild laughing continues]
295
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,420
[crunching]
296
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,624
The wrong one.
297
00:21:33,42 --> 00:21:35,795
How could | get
The wrong one?
298
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,176
Maybe you
Need glasses.
299
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,974
Why don't you
Take the eye test?
300
00:21:49,16 --> 00:21:51,977
Now, what am | holding
Out in front of me?
"Ll give you a hint.
301
00:21:52,61 --> 00:21:54,563
It's between "D" and "F."
Don't peek. Don't peek.
302
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,650
What do you say, partner?
What do you say?
303
00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:02,196
What do you say we
Get down to business?
304
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,990
You're real.
305
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,579
How can you be real
When you're made of wood?
306
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:14,333
[chuckling]
307
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:18,712
You made me real.
You poured words
Into my head.
308
00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:21,757
You moved my mouth.
You stuck out
My tongue.
309
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:25,10
You jerk, don't
You get it?
310
00:22:25,94 --> 00:22:28,180
You made me
What | am today.
311
00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:31,100
| hope you're satisfied.
312
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,853
From the song,
Of the same name.
313
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:39,525
[laughing]
314
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:45,30
[laughing crazily]
315
00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:01,422
And now, direct
From new york city,
316
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:04,300
The funniest pair
Of cuckoos you'll
Ever see
317
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:07,303
Here in kansas city
Or anyplace else,
318
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:11,599
Jerry and willy.
Let's bring them
Out big, folks.
319
00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,976
[applause]
320
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:18,606
How do you do, folks?
How do you do?
321
00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:20,608
A funny thing
Happened to me
322
00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:24,153
On the way over
To the club tonight.
| met this broad.
323
00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:27,740
Now, jerry, you
Don't mean "Broad."
You mean "Lady."
324
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:32,77
Oh, look, chum, you
Just write the jokes
And I'll tell them, okay?
325
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:36,81
Well, anyway, | met
This broad coming
Down the street.
326
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:38,792
It was a broad street.
327
00:23:38,876 --> 00:23:41,545
(narrator)
What's known in the
Parlance of the times
328
00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:46,467
As the old switcheroo.
From boss to blockhead
In a few, uneasy lessons.
329
00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:50,179
And if you're given
To nightclubbing on
Occasion, check this act.
330
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:54,767
It's called willy and jerry,
And they generally are booked
Into some of the clubs
331
00:23:54,808 --> 00:24:00,689
Along the gray night way
Known as the twilight zone.
332
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:06,362
(male presenter)
Rod serling, creator
Of the twilight zone,
333
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:11,367
Will tell you about
Next week's story
After this message.
334
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,452
And now, mr. Serling.
335
00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:16,497
Next week through
The good offices of
Mr. Richard matheson
336
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,832
We tell you a story
Of a young man's fancy,
337
00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:22,44
Which is kind of a
Euphemistic description
Of a mortal combat
338
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:25,798
Between the living and
The dead, between the
Present and the past,
339
00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:29,09
Between miss phyllis thaxter
And mr. Alex nicol.
340
00:24:29,93 --> 00:24:32,805
The battleground is this old
House, and its front door
Will be opened to you
341
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:36,141
Next week on
The twilight zone.
342
00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:41,981
[eerie music]
343
00:25:19,59 --> 00:25:22,21
Hello, tree.
344
00:25:22,104 --> 00:25:26,25
Trees are everybody's friends.
Remember, only you can
Prevent forest fires.
27468
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