All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S03E01.HashtagNewCraig.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Jacket right here.
Lay it here.

- Thank you.

- May there be silence
at this moment.

This would not be
a Thomas Ravenel sit-down dinner

without a speech.

- And a third-person
reference.

[all laughing]

- First of all, I want to thank
all of you for being here.

It shows your support for me,

Kathryn, our young family.

And with that,
I would like to offer

a few wonderful words

of wisdom.

I would say to Shep,

instead of trying to fááá
every girl in Charleston...

- What?
- Oh, here we go.

- Hold on.
Let him go.

- Why not take a look
at the girl that,

you know,
you admire and adore?

You know, who is
sitting right over here.

- Thomas, please stop.

- I would say
to Cameran,

I have three sisters,
and you remind me of them.

They're all self-righteous,

judgmental, sanctimonious.

- But-but-but--

- Why do you think
I'm sanctimonious?

- Hold on. Let him speak.
- Okay.

I want to say
one thing to Landon.

You've been a little catty,
a little disrespectful--

- I haven't done anything.
- Towards Kathryn and my child.

- I haven't ever said
anything about you.

I think that that's
completely opposite.

- And I would like for you two--
I would like for you two

to be friends.

- Thomas, I've tried
to be her friend for years.

She's the one that told me

to fááá off
at your election party.

- It's your fault
more than anyone else's.

- How much money
is your mommy giving you?

- You're less than me.
You're less.

- No, I'm not gonna
sit here and--

- Sanctimonious bitch.
Get out of here.

- Thomas. Thomas. Thomas!

- Go. Leave. I didn't want
to invite you to begin with.

- He's out of his goddamn mind.

- He's sháááing on everybody.

Why are we gonna sit here?

- You're attacking Thomas.

- I'm not attacking Thomas.
- Stop yelling.

You sound like
a fáááing dolphin.

- You're such trash.
- Come on, guys.

- Jenna don't have a job.

You're a thin-skinned
little bitch is what you are.

Both of you.
Get out of here.

Go. Get the fááá
off my property.

- Don't invite us next time.
- Why don't you come in here?

You want to fááá
with me, assáááá?

- What the fááá?

- You want
to fááá with me, assáááá?

- Are you kidding me right now?
- Do you want to fááá with me?

Do you want to fáááing have your
head on this goddamn ground?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[playing guitar]

♪ ♪

- Come on, baby.
You want to go outside?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

[baby babbles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, buddy.

- Teach a man to fish,
feed him for a lifetime.

[chuckles]

How's it going?

- It's going.
I've never done this before

for a client, so you're special.

- Next time,
we'll go to the Bahamas.

- No.

I normally don't spend

this much of my commission
on a thank you gift.

Are you Captain Joel?

- I am.

- But Shep was
a really good friend

to trust me to handle
the sale of his home

when I was just starting out.

- Oh, my God.

- It's come
a long way, hasn't it?

- It's like a real house.

- Since it was
just a piece of grass, remember?

- For the big boy.

- All right, let's open her up.

[playful music]

♪ ♪

[laughing]

So, word around
the campfire...Craig.

He shall return soon, right?

I haven't really been
in touch with Craig

very much since he moved home.

- I talk to him,

like, at least once a week.

- Once a week?
- Yeah.

Last year, Craig kind
of acted like a fool.

- [coughing]

- But he is younger and still
has more time to mature,

so c'est la vie.

Who cares?

He's, like, saving
lots of money

'cause he's living at home
with his parents.

- Is he bored to tears?

- I mean, he's like,

"It's been really good for me.

I really feel like
I have my life together."

- We've heard this before.

I mean, Craig's got
a silver tongue,

and he knows what to say
to make you think

that everything's great,

but last year, I saw through it.

- Why would you follow him?
You guys are idiots.

- Yeah, we're the idiots.

You're the one that got
fired from your job.

He's so broke he can't even
pay attention, and we're idiots.

I'm not the nicest guy
all the time, you know?

I can be a real dick,
but when anyone sees a friend

behaving in a way
that's not good for him,

if you just placate them,
then you're not a real friend.

- Do you think he's gonna
take the bar finally?

- I'm not sure if he's really
interested in the law anymore.

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

- Moving back home
to Delaware

has been one
of the best decisions

I've ever made in my life.

It has let me reflect and reset

on how I want my life to go.

♪ ♪

Come here, buddy.
Morning.

Last fall, I was going out
almost every night of the week.

You know? Like, my priorities
were all messed up.

- You have lost the drive,
the initiative.

Because of that,
I've got to terminate you.

- Something had to change,
and I couldn't get it done

in Charleston.

- Hey, bud.

- Hey.
- Good morning.

- Delaware will always be
where my heart is.

That's where my family is.

- When's the airport shuttle
coming?

- Should be here
in any minute.

- Well,
you better get moving.

- Yeah, I'm hustling.

But Charleston's
where I see my life.

All right.

- All right, here.
- I'll see you soon, buddy.

- All right.
See you. Love you.

- Love you.
- Love you, bud.

I love you,
and I'll miss you.

And make sure you call us, okay?

You know, at least once a week.

- I will.
- Please?

[engine turns over]

- Whether or not
I'm strong enough

to be back in Charleston

is what I have to prove
to everyone and to myself.

[dramatic music]

- I assume there's no bathroom
on this boat, right?

- Hell no.
You got to jump in

and use the bathroom.

- All right.
- Oh, God.

This is gonna be
embarrassing.

- Jesus Christ.

- [laughs]

This is the low point
of my life.

- No, it's funny.

- [sighs]

I mean,
what are you supposed to do

when you're on a boat
and you have to pee?

Don't turn the motor on.

- [laughs]

- Cam!
- You know,

I don't have the luxury
of having a penis,

so you have to squat off
the side of the boat.

- Are you relieved?

- Yes.

- I wonder if we're
near Monk's Corner.

We could wave to Kathryn.

- Oh, my God.
- I mean,

people try to pregnant for,
like, years.

- Yeah.
- And they just get pregnant

like that, the two of them.

- Well, she's 22.
That's when the picking's ripe.

- Basically.

I mean, you know,
there's different ways

to increase the chances
of that not happening.

It's called pulling out.

- I think the whole thing
is just tawdry,

and I don't like
talking about it.

Thomas and Kathryn have such
a tumultuous relationship.

- Stop!
- Get away from me.

I'm done.
I'm done.

- No.
Thomas!

- And to keep bringing children
into the world is irresponsible.

Anyway, how many girls
have you been with?

- In my life?
- Over 100?

- Probably.
- Oh, my God.

I guarantee you
you have been

with women who were
faking the hell out of it.

- Doesn't matter to me as long
as it's a good performance.

I want, like,
Meryl Streep performance.

- Jesus Christ.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, baby.

- How are you?
- Good.

- I got lipstick
on your collar. I'm sorry.

- It's fine. It's fine.
You're good.

- How are you?
It's so good to see you.

- I know.

And there's another reason

I'm moving back to Charleston.

Naomie and I have been dating
now for, I think, eight months.

This is the first time
I've ever been in love,

and it's awesome.

- So how was leaving home?
Like, are you sad?

- Of course, but I'm just stoked
to be here with you.

Naomie's been the one girl
in Charleston

that's always intrigued me.

She's originally from France,

and she was just
coming into college

when I was a senior,

but we just never got a chance
to, like, hang out.

Give me a kiss.

Hi.

- Ugh!

- Randomly, I was sitting
in my office in Delaware

and I got a text message
from her,

and I was, like,
jumping for joy on the inside.

That's kind of, like,
since--that was it.

- We're here.

- Oh, look at our house.

- I know.

- Naomie's parents have
a beautiful home in West Ashley.

- Here it is.

- This is sweet.
Oh, this is awesome.

They're gonna allow
us to stay there,

you know, until it sells.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- I can't believe we get
to stay here by ourselves.

- Like real human adults.
- I know.

Up until this point,

our relationship
has been long-distance.

Now, we're moving in together,

so it's exciting.

I mean, it's nerve-wracking,
but it's exciting.

- It's so pretty.
You have, like, a full marsh,

and it's actually deep water
all the time.

- Great.
Alligators?

- Ugh, shut up.

Only people
from the North ask that.

- So we can't let this property
go to waste.

This is awesome.
If you think it's all right,

what if we just
had one big party

where everyone's, like,
back here together?

- Yes.

- Let's just invite everybody.

I mean, Charleston's
a small town,

and Naomie's lived here for,

you know, 15 years,

so she kind of knew
my group of friends, you know,

before we even started talking.

- Are you gonna invite Shep?

[dramatic music]

- I mean, it's not--
I mean, yeah.

I think so.

You know, obviously, like,
I hope we can go back

to the way we were,
where we were just, like,

you know, close friends,
and, like,

he wasn't lecturing me
all the time.

You know, he was a dick
to me last year,

but it was necessary.

You know, I wasn't an easy
person to be friends with.

I just graduated
from fáááing law school.

I don't think I need
any more lectures.

- Don't you fáááing
be a dick to me.

- I'm done.
- Craig!

- My life's fáááing awesome.

♪ ♪

I'm willing to let all that go
as long as he is also.

But if he shows up
and it's mean Shep,

I just don't see
me caring ever again

enough to come back
from that.

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- What is it
that makes Patricia so,

like, "I don't like her.

You're not allowed
to talk to her"?

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

Little nugget.

When I thought
I was pregnant again,

I took about
30 at-home pregnancy tests.

Mm-mm-mm.

And after about the 30th one
that said yes, I believed it.

[playful music]

♪ ♪

So ghetto.

This is not
a planned pregnancy.

Thomas and I had
a brief whirlwind romance,

and I guess just
in that four days,

God decided he wanted us
to have another baby.

So, you know, here I am

seven months later.

[chuckles]

I did have these high hopes

that Thomas and I would
somehow decide,

"Okay, now is the time
to sort out our issues."

We have another baby
on the way.

That must mean something,

but really, I don't feel like
it ever mattered to him.

It wasn't a priority
to work out as a family.

Talk to whoever, comma.

Say whatever, comma.

Just leave me alone, period.

The current status
of Thomas and I is nothing.

We are not together.

Irrelevant.
Good-bye.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[classic French music]

♪ ♪

- Mother?

[dogs barking]

Mom?

- I'm coming.

Couldn't you have used
the intercom

instead of yelling
up the stairs?

- You look glamorous
in your new caftan.

- I have more caftans now
than Lawrence of Arabia.

- Well, good.
I was concerned about that.

[both chuckle]

- Did you notice something
missing when you came in?

Like you had to open
the door yourself?

I had to get my own shoes.

- Is Michael not here?

- He's on vacation.
- Oh, okay.

- He's been
gone two days,

and I miss him
desperately already.

- How do you
fend for yourself?

Should I fashion you
a Manhattan?

- Do you know
how to make one?

- No.
- No. What can you make?

- Wine.
Champagne I can do.

- Well, I'll just
wait for you then.

- All right.

- When Michael
goes away on vacation,

I kind of forgo martinis

because I have no interest

in an inferior martini.

Tell me what's going on.

Did you go by the restaurant?

- Yeah.

Looks really good now that
it's much further along.

We're immensely pleased.

- Hm.

[tense music]

- We have issues here.
- Yeah.

- Major issues.
- Oh, I know, yeah.

- Six months behind.
- How much over budget?

- About a million five
over budget.

- A million five?

- And if this continues,
you know,

the investor
can just go bye-bye.

Yeah.
- Fááá.

- I'd love to go over
and just take a peek.

- Well, wait for it
to get a bit cooler.

- Great.
- Yeah.

I've had a rather
laissez-faire approach

to the whole restaurant thing

because I'm primarily staying
in Los Angeles,

where I have a house
in Bel Air,

and, you know, frankly,
I just don't care.

- Did you know Thomas lives
maybe four blocks from here now?

- I heard he got
a great new house.

- But you haven't
talked to him?

- I haven't seen Thomas
in a while.

I don't know what he's doing,
how he's doing.

- Does that mean Thomas
is on the outs?

- No, he's not on the outs.

It's just with a second child
on the way, you know,

he is kind of a helpless kid.

- I'm not gonna get into
Kathryn's pregnancy.

I mean, they're both morons.

I don't know
what else I can say.

- Have they determined
the gender

or ethnic persuasion
of this baby?

- That I don't know.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Kathryn?

Hey.

- Welcome, darling.
How lovely to see you.

- I'm so sweaty.
How are you?

The ride in was, like,
seriously a travel through time.

You know,
you're Scarlet O'Hara

after the war out here.

- Pretty much after the war,
yeah, pretty much.

Cooper and I never really
got close until recently.

- I want to see.
I want to see. I want to see.

- I know.
I'm gonna grab water.

We can go on a walk.
My dad's here.

He can watch Kensie.

I was very hesitant
to trust Cooper at first

because he's friends
with Patricia,

and I didn't know if that was
one of her little soldiers

coming in for, like,
a secret attack.

- We need some
church lady fans.

- But as I've gotten
to know him,

he's really made
such a big effort

to make me feel as if,
you know, he's got my back.

Let me escort you.

- Shall we?
Shall we?

And y'all are
right on the river, right?

- Yes.
- I mean, it's so beautiful.

And it's huge.

- Our whole plantation
is about 800 acres.

- Still intact?

- Mm-hmm.
- Wow.

- There's actually a slave
cemetery right over there.

No joke.

- Wow. So this was
a rice plantation?

- Yes.
Rice, cotton, and tobacco.

- Overall, I have a million
questions. How are you?

- I'm good, but I'm ready
to get back in town

and have access to things
that I need day to day.

Thomas promised me
if we ever split up,

I'd never have anything
to worry about.

- If you're pregnant,
I'm right there.

Everything I got.

Every dime I've got
in my fortune.

Everything is right there
behind you.

- And yet I'm still living
in Monk's Corner.

It's been almost an entire year,

and Thomas doesn't really care.

- So I had dinner
at Patricia's Friday night.

She has heard the rumors.

- Lordy.
- You know,

what she thinks
about you is no secret.

She just doesn't know you.

- But I wonder at times, like,
what causes her to,

like, really despise me?

I feel like it's not just "Eh,
I don't care for her too much."

It's, "I don't like her.

"You're not allowed
to talk to her.

"I am the queen.
You must listen

or you're not allowed
in my quarters."

Like, sorry,
but that's, like,

what I imagine
when I think of her.

- You give her
a British accent?

- I do.
I don't know why.

- She doesn't have
a proper education,

she doesn't have a career,

and here she is gonna
have two young babies.

She's unmarried.

If it didn't work
the first time...

- I don't know.

- Why would she allow
it to happen again?

I have no interest

in anything that has to do
with Kathryn Dennis,

but for some reason she has
some morbid obsession

with me and with Whitney.

- Go home and take lessons
from your mother.

- You should go to bed.
You should go to bed.

- Uh, you should go
fall on a knife.

- When you do the things
that she has done,

the guillotine comes down,
and that's it.

Anyway, as much as I'd love
buying baby toys,

I'm glad it's not you.

[both chuckle]

- I think perceptions
are so important,

and she only knows
what she hears.

- Hm.
Thomas, I'm assuming.

And then Whitney, of course.

That's a great telephone line.

- Yeah.
Yeah.

- Patricia sees Whitney
as this standard of perfection

that we should all
be aspiring to be,

but he has
the failing restaurant,

a failing music career,

a girlfriend
that no one ever sees.

I mean, if that's her idea
of perfection, then,

like, I think her medicine
is seeping into her brain.

- Truth is, we have a certain
little world downtown

and you kind of
swept into it like a hurricane.

- Hurricane Kathryn.
- It's good enough.

[laughs]

I love it.

- Coming up...

- With Kathryn,
you're not dealing with a person

who's of sound mind.

- You know what they did
back in the '50s?

- Shock treatment.

- Err.

♪ ♪

- Oh, this is awesome, baby.
- I know.

- We're gonna make
people jealous here.

- True.

Do you want to talk
about the guest list?

- Yeah.

I feel like I do have a lot
to prove to my friends.

The last time
they saw me, I was a mess,

and now, like,
I'm excited to show 'em

that I'm doing really well.

You want to call Shep
with me?

- Yes.
- 'Cause I feel like

he likes you more than--
well, I mean--

- We're good friends with him.
- Like, just as much.

- Just call him.
We're just say, "Hello."

[phone rings]

- Oh, Craig.
Here we go again.

Hey, this is Shep.

Leave a message
and I'll call you back.

- Hey, what's up, dude?
It's Craig.

Hope you're still not dodging
my phone calls after six months.

I'm extending the olive branch
to Shep with this party,

because right now in my head,
it's all up to him.

All right.
See you, buddy.

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

- Are they gonna be functional?

Am I gonna be able
to open these windows?

- They can be made
to be functional,

but they're not now.

They're painted shut.

- Right.

I bought this new home.
I call it my downtown compound.

It was built in 1813.

Now I'm engaged in the process

of transforming this house
into its former grandeur

for me and for my children.

What do you think
about us marbleizing the foyer?

Is that a little too
pretentious?

- It'll be beautiful.

- Is it gonna say T-Rav
when you walk in?

I want it to say T-Rav
when you walk in.

I like restoring old houses
because I've got the resources

and it takes my mind off
of other things

that are distressful.

All right, well, I think
it's all coming along well.

[jazz musicé

♪ ♪

- You can lay it there.
Side board here.

- Thomas?
- Over there.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Good to see you, Landon.

- How are you?
- Fine. You?

- Good. Nice to see you.
- All right.

- The place
is looking amazing.

Thomas actually just bought
a house right down the street

from the house
where I'm living.

How long do you think
it'll take start to finish?

- Two more months.
- Two more months?

That's awesome.

Now that we're both
in the same neighborhood,

we've been hanging out.

- All right.
Thanks so much.

- Bye, it was so nice
to meet you. Take care.

- Yep.
See you later.

- I mean,
the house is amazing,

but I can't quit looking
at your eye.

What happened?

- We were in the VIP section
at Republic,

and this guy,
he was, you know,

harassing me,
harassing some of my friends.

So I told the bodyguards,
"Please have this guy leave."

- Yeah, no.
- He turned around

and head-butted me.

- Head-butted?
Who gets head-butted?

Dangerous life
you're living, Thomas.

- Yeah.

- And now you've got
this project.

- Yeah.

Let's take a look upstairs.

In here is gonna be
the nursery for Kensie.

- Aw.

- We're gonna paint
all this periwinkle.

- I like it a lot.

- And here will be
my baby boy's room.

- So sweet.

Are you excited
about having a boy?

- Yes.

He's a real, live Ravenel boy.

- Yeah.
- He's a piece of immortality.

He'll carry on
the family name.

- How's it going with Kathryn?

- I just want to get
to a court order

so she's not in a position
to wield this power.

- Yeah.
- You know how unnerving

that is to me that I have
to take orders from this person?

- It's just frustrating
on so many levels.

- South Carolina says if
you have children out of wedlock

that the mother
has complete parental control.

The father has no rights.

Lately, she's been sending
threatening texts saying,

"You'll never have
any involvement

with Kensie ever again."

- Oh, Thomas.

I mean, Kathryn is very smart

and knows
exactly what she's doing.

Being, like,
pregnant and hormonal.

I can only imagine.

- But I'm just of the mind
that I don't want to argue.

- Yeah.
- I don't want to have trouble.

At the end of the day,
we're gonna co-parent,

and I want these children
to be raised happy.

Kathryn and I are completely
broken up.

I don't even talk to her.

I don't see her.

The nanny will take Kensie
back and forth.

- The problem is,
there's no reasoning with her.

You're not dealing with a person
who's of sound mind.

- You know what they did
back in the '50s?

- I know.
Shock treatment.

- Yeah, jumper cables.
Err!

[lively music]

♪ ♪

- Hello?
- Hello.

- Do you want to come help?

- I thought you were
gonna get raw ingredients

and, like, I would make
the spinach and artichoke dip.

- Hell no.
We're getting premade.

We don't have time for that.

- Never fear,
the fairy godfather is here.

- How's the backyard coming?

- It is.
It's coming.

Look how cute this is,
Naomie.

Very cool, right?

- Oh, my gosh.

- Check out
the crab pot chandeliers.

- I can't wait to see
all the lights on.

- So we're on schedule?

- We're about two hours
from guests, guys.

- Awesome.
- See you in a minute.

- Let's go.
- No pressure.

lively music]

♪ ♪

[knocking at door]

- Hello.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Good, how are you?

- Good. Is that wine for me,
or Craig, or whom?

- Yeah. It depends on how long
it takes Whitney to get here.

- Okay.
Good answer.

I don't think Craig
drinks red wine anyway.

- Yeah.
I don't know.

He's trying to be
a bit more mature these days.

- That's what I hear.

- Have you even seen Craig
since he's been back?

- I haven't seen him,

but that's not because I, like,
we're avoiding one another.

- Yeah. Are y'all still like--
- No.

- I mean, he had to have called
to invite you.

- I don't think
either of us were bitter.

I just think we have, like,
a sibling rivalry.

- No, he definitely
had his feelings hurt.

For sure.

- By me?
- Yeah.

He's actually
really sensitive.

- I don't have many friends
that are sensitive.

- No, and if they are,
they just,

like, hide it from you
because the second

they are sensitive
then you just,

like, go in harder for the kill.

I think Shep's
emotional maturity

came from him growing up
in the South.

Men are not supposed to cry.

You're not supposed to have
this sensitive side.

You're supposed to be a man.

- I don't, like,
exploit people's weaknesses.

That is unfair.

- Well, that's
exactly what you did to Craig,

and that's why he got
his feelings hurt so bad.

- No, no, no. Craig,
I gave the benefit of the doubt

over and over again.

- That's fair.
- And he betrayed

all of our--I mean,
just kind of lied to us all.

- He didn't betray you.

He can be really mean
sometimes,

but he can also be,
like, your biggest fan.

It's just, he has really
weird ways of showing it.

- I kind of want
to have some fun.

- It's a move.
- I don't--you know,

I don't know this new Craig.

I'm meeting him
for the first time.

- [giggles]
- [clicks tongue]

- So you think Thomas
is gonna come tonight?

- Pfft.

Would he pass up
an opportunity to come home?

- Oh, please.

- Why should I consider
the guest list?

- Yeah.

- Like,
that Landon will be there.

Why should that matter to me?

It shouldn't, so I'm going.

- Well, she and Thomas have made
pretty good friends recently.

- I mean, I thought
the five-second rule

was only for food.

When Thomas and I first broke up

and he went to London,
she propositioned him.

- Thomas told you that?

- Thomas told someone that,

and that someone told me.

Who does that?
I mean, hello?

What about girl code?

Landon, go sit back down

and put your hands
behind your back,

put your nose on the wall,
and shut the fááá up.

- [laughs]
- ♪ Sorry, hormones ♪

- Hey, kids.
- What up?

- Have a seat.

- And what's the purpose
of this party?

- It's "Look at me. I've got
a girlfriend and a house."

- He's not living
out of a U-Haul anymore.

I'm amused by the fact

that he would throw himself
a welcome back party

like he's some
returning dignitary,

but hopefully he's kind of
cleared his head

and he's ready to focus
on something or other.

- Is Kathryn invited?
Do you have any idea?

- Craig invited her.
- He was cordial with her.

Well, no.
Not really.

- I was always
cordial with her,

but she's decided

that she hates me
for zero reason.

- Does she think you're
gonna fááá Thomas?

- I think so.
- Are you gonna fááá Thomas?

- No.
It, like, is...

Kathryn, she doesn't understand
that you can, like,

have a platonic relationship
with a man.

I'm not sure if
she's ever had one.

I mean, I don't know
of any guy friends

that she's not slept with.

- She doesn't hate me.

- I'm happy to be
on the "she hates me" list.

- Yeah, because you fáááed her.

- So did you.
- Yeah.

Looks like somebody did
a good job and somebody didn't.

- You both lose on that.

Well, just be thankful
that it's not your baby.

- No, it's not.
both: Ehh...

- Coming up...

- Don't you feel like a piece
of meat walking into, like,

a lion's den?

Oh, man.

♪ ♪

- You like it?
- You look incredible.

- It's absurd.
- I love it.

♪ ♪

- Hey, how are you?
- Come on, princess.

Let's do it.

- Hey.
- Hey, guys.

- All right, all right.
- Hi.

You look amazing.

- Hi, buddy.
- What's up?

- Welcome to the house.

- Hey.
- What up, Thomas?

- What's going on?

- T-Rav, admission.
- Thomas.

- Hello, Mr. Ravenel.

How are you?
Good to see you.

- Are you valeting us?
- I am valeting you.

- This is real fancy.

- Hi.
- What's up?

- This is so pretty.

- Look at this.

- You know, he still has way
too much product in his hair

and he's dressed
like an Italian drug dealer,

but at least his breath
does not reek of alcohol.

So this is already a new Craig.

- Why don't we walk out back?

- Let's do this.
- I love it.

- Bourbon's your friend, bubba.
Bourbon is your friend.

[lively music]

♪ ♪

- I mean,

I don't even know
what to say.

- At least you're happy.
You can't even hide your smile.

Is this what you had in mind?

- No, I was maybe
picturing, like, a condo.

This is, like,
a million dollar-plus property.

I mean, I'm not stupid.

Naomie comes from a family

that has a sháá ton of money.

- Good Craig's good.

- I'm just trying to
take it all in, Craig.

I mean, Craig has literally
gone from slum dog millionaire

to the fresh prince
of Charleston.

- All right.
Do whatever you want to it.

I need a new car.

- You do not.
- I mean, he has a valet.

- Fancy.

- I used to want Craig
to just be honest,

but in fact, it's turned
into sort of an amusement to me.

What is that smell?
Candles?

In the South, there's always
these characters

who just make it up
as they go along,

and you sort of laugh about it

behind his back.

How did Craig get this place?
What is this?

- I don't know.
It doesn't make sense.

- I think it's
Naomie's parents.

- And they're letting
him stay here?

- Clearly.
- Living in sin

with his daughter?

- Yeah.

- Hey, Shep.
- I can see him.

- They're
color-coordinated tonight.

- Good.

- Right now,
I don't know if Shep and I

are ever gonna be
what we used to be.

I mean, we were like brothers,

and I just want to be
best friends again.

What's up, buddy?
- What's up, man?

- Hey, pal, I want a hug.
- How's it going?

- Oh, well, I was gonna do
the handshake into hug.

- The handshake
into a hug?

The roll in?

- Everyone's color-coordinated.

- You look sharp.
- Thanks, buddy.

- What's this?
- It's from Italy.

A lot of European influence
in my life at this moment.

- Yeah.
You're Euro trash.

[dramatic music]

[party music]

- Aw, I'm so proud of you.
- Thanks.

- This is awesome,
by the way.

- I know.
This is ideal.

- Yeah, my house
is kind of in the hood.

[both laugh]

- So how'd it go with Shep?
Everything's cool?

- Yeah, he's fine.
- Good.

♪ ♪

How you been, man?

- I don't know.
Just tired.

- I heard you have a shiner.

- Yeah.

Let's even it out.
Go ahead. Go ahead.

- Nah, it's good.

- Head-butt me.

'Cause of his erratic behavior,

I'd kind of lost touch
with Thomas,

but I don't miss
being friends with him,

'cause he is fáááing nuts.

- Hey, Thomas.
- Hey. Good to see you.

- What's going on, man?

Everybody has
the awesome shades but me.

Do you know Devin?

- What are you doing?
Besides being beautiful.

- What year are you?
- I'm a senior.

- Senior, huh?
- Yep.

- I'm just a junior.
- You're just a junior?

- Yeah.
- You liking it?

- Are you Thomas junior?
- Did you do the frat?

[laughter]

- Da-na da-na da-da
do-do-do-doom-doom.

- Kathryn's gonna be so pissed

when she walks in here
and she sees her husband.

- Oh, my God.
Too funny.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Oh.
- Yeah, don't trip out the gate.

- This is so weird.

- Don't you feel like a piece
of meat walking into, like,

a lion's den?

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, man.

♪ ♪

- Thanks.
- You're welcome, hon.

- It's very awkward for me

to know what to say
to Kathryn.

Do I say, "Oh, my gosh,

I'm so happy for you"?

Do I say, "Are you okay?"

So I've learned in life, when
you don't know what to say,

you just don't say anything.

- Hello.
- How are you?

- Good to see you.
- Well, I know, it's all good.

- What's going on?

- Nothing.
Just I'm here.

- Happy? Healthy?
You look great.

- Thanks.
- You really do.

♪ ♪

- Hey, Kathryn.

Thanks for coming.

- Thanks for having me.
- You look beautiful.

- Well, this is beautiful
out here.

- Thank you.

♪ ♪

Ever since I became pregnant,

and I know these people
have heard that I was pregnant,

the majority of them haven't
really reached out to me.

Now it feels like they see
some scarlet letter

kind of written all over me,

and I'm wondering,
"Why the fááá did I come?"

I'm gonna leave if this is
how it's gonna go.

This is getting redonkulous.

- Coming up...

- You were Mr. King
of Downtown Charleston

in your mind,
and I was just like,

"No, you're fáááing not."

♪ ♪

- Craig, we're eating on,
like, actual plates?

- Craig's a big boy now.
- This is so nice.

- It smells good.
- Thanks.

- Craig, I'm impressed.

♪ ♪

- Mm.

Kathryn.

- She ignoring me?

- [chuckles]

- I know that I need
to talk to her,

that it's the polite
thing to do.

She's the mother of my child,

but there's nothing
I can do or say

that will not set her off.

My mere presence
will send her into the orbit.

- When was the last time

Thomas and Kathryn
saw each other?

- Saw each other?
Probably, like,

I don't know,
a month or so?

- Kathryn told me
you guys really

aren't speaking much either.

- That's not it.

I've been in contact with her
for months and months

and months, reaching out
to her...nothing.

So I'm actually thinking
she's blocked me from her phone.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Craig, let's go chit chat,
buddy.

I got us two scotch neat.

- The old Shep was taking drinks
out of my hand,

but I think
the old Craig deserved that.

Maybe what you're saying is
the new Craig deserves a drink.

- The new Craig.

The one that has
his sháá together.

- Yeah.
Cheers.

Shots?

- No, sip.

- Just sip, yeah.
- Like, sophisticated.

- So I don't want
to jump the gun, but I think

we have a chance to get back
to old Craig and Shep.

- I mean, look,
I'm glad you went home

and I'm glad you're back,

and everything looks great,
but my whole thing is

before you moved,
you were, like,

Mr. King of Downtown Charleston
in your mind,

and I was just like,
"No, you're fáááing not."

You were kind of a disaster,

and I tried to be supportive,
and I was for a while there,

but if I see my friend
acting like a jackass,

I'm gonna just tell him.

- But towards the end
of it,

you were being
a fáááing bully,

and, like, you were just
rubbing it in my face.

- Yeah, but you were
gloating, man.

- Yeah, but you brought out,
like, personal sháá in my life

to, like, use
to throw at me.

I mean, Shep,
you didn't have a job.

- Dude, but I can afford it.
You know what I mean?

That's the bottom line,
and so can Whitney,

but you don't have a nest egg
to fall back on.

- Like,
your goddamn badgering,

I took it like you
all of a sudden were the enemy.

[tense music]

- Just know this.
I'm only hard on people I like.

- Right. I get it.
- You know what I mean?

- If I didn't care,
I'd just be like,

"Fáááing forget it."

- I think I was really mad

that you were calling me
on my bullsháá 'cause

no one's ever called me
on my bullsháá in my life. Ever.

- Yeah.
- Like, I've always been able

to get away with everything.

- You're really good at
convincing people...

- Why do you think
I went to law school?

- About something that isn't
exactly true.

- Yeah.

- You know, Craig's leaving
was kind of a good solution

to where our friendship
had left off.

- Moving forward,
I was just hoping

that you would give me a shot.

- I am gonna give you more
than a shot.

I'll give you the benefit
of the doubt your whole life.

I've had enough of anger.

I'm just gonna know
what I'm dealing with

and give him a fighting chance.

F. Scotts Fitzgerald

said there's no second acts
in life, but he was wrong.

- Well, that's what's awesome.

- All right.

[overlapping conversations]

- Can I sit here?
Did you get a new bag?

- No.

♪ ♪

- This is gonna be insane.

- Here comes the machete.

♪ ♪

- [slurping]

- Seen Dr. Lynch lately?

How's he looking?

- Like a baby should look.

- He's gonna be a Sagittarius.
I get along with Sagittarius.

Our son.

♪ ♪

Right now,
Kathryn has complete control

of Kensie and
my future unborn child,

and I think she likes
having that control.

You are a fire sign.
Without a doubt.

- Yeah.

- So I always feel like
I'm just walking on eggshells.

- Are you okay?

- As long as you're okay,
I'm okay.

- Seriously?
- Are you okay?

- Do you realize that's
the first time

I think you've asked me
that in, like, a few months?

- How are you?

- Everything going on
with me is good.

What about you?
How are you actually?

- You know, everything
about this house.

We're trying to get it straight.

Take care of the HVAC.
Take care of the roof.

Take care of landscaping,

and we got people doing
a lot of different things.

It is bleeding me.
I'm hemorrhaging.

- Please.
These are the problems you have

when you have no problems.

- Oh, we're going periwinkle

for Kensie's nursery instead of
the pink--periwinkle.

- Why instead of pink?
- It's just better looking.

I like the periwinkle.

- I thought you picked pink
with your decorator.

- I didn't like it.

Periwinkle's better.
It's a lot better.

This is a periwinkle color.

It's cute.

You don't like it?

[dramatic music]

- And who helped you?

Right now.
Tell me.

- Well, the decorator
brought two colors out--

- Get to the point.
Get to the point.

Get to the point.

♪ ♪

It's cute.
You don't like it?

[dramatic music]

- And who helped you?

Right now.
Tell me.

- Well, the decorate
brought two colors out--

- Get to the point. Get to
the point. Get to the point.

♪ ♪

- Caroline, my decorator.

- But I heard you had
some other people helping.

- But they're not
helping me decorate.

They're helping me
do other things.

- Hmm.

Landon's wearing a dress
that's periwinkle.

Is that supposed to be some,

like, hidden inside joke
to piss me off?

Or are you that big
of a fáááing idiot?

- You don't like periwinkle?

- Why are we talking about
fáááing periwinkle?

Why are we sitting here
talking about periwinkle?

You haven't talked to me
in months, and I'm pregnant.

Okay?
Sorry.

♪ ♪

- Well, you look beautiful.

May I?

- May you what?

- Touch.
- Um...

- Let me see.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

He's kind of at rest.

♪ ♪

- This season
on "Southern Charm"...

- Thank you all for coming out
to the founder's ball.

The bar is open.

Go drink.
Have fun.

- ♪ He's got money ♪

- I don't know
how it could get any crazier,

but it will.

- ♪ He's in magazines ♪

- If you don't
follow these rules,

you're almost looked down upon.

- ♪ He's got more honey ♪

- We all mess up,

and we all deserve
second chances.

- ♪ Honey bee ♪

- It's the end of
western civilization

as far as I can tell.

- Here they come.
- Oh, my God.

- All aboard!
- He used to love Bernie.

- Riders are up.
Turn it. Turn it.

- Ooh, you are good.

- I'm pretty good.

- She needs to stay home,
take care of the baby,

and quit worrying
about going to parties.

- I'm leaving.
- Sit down, please.

- No, no, don't get violent.
- No, please, listen to me.

- I will jump out the window.

- I'm kind of looking
for engagement rings.

- [laughs]

- Craig is like
"Blades of Glory."

- Why is he so good at things
that are so embarrassing?

- Could you imagine Shep
making...?

[screams]

[screaming]

- Why did you see a therapist?

- I think I'm losing my mind.

- Well, I've loved you
for a long time.

- You think Whitney
had feelings for Kathryn?

- I would be mad at a girl
for sleeping with my best friend

a week after she slept with me.

- I'm gonna kick this fáááer
in the ass.

- Come on.
- Shut the fááá up.

- I'm the only fáááing one
telling the truth here.

- You jump on my back,
you will crawl off bleeding.

- Are you a spy?
- Oh, my goodness.

- Tell her to leave.
She's trespassing.

- Fááá that.
Fááá that.

- So bored
of her thinking she can, like,

control and manipulate
everyone

with this child.
It's disgusting.

- See how many breakdowns
she can have.

Make a scene.
Take my baby away from me.

I'm not putting up with this
anymore--it's over.

- ♪ It's easy ♪

- I've done nothing.
- Yes, you have.

- I've done nothing.
- Then you're fáááing crazy.

- ♪ As the birds and the bees
and the one, two, threes ♪

- Smiling faces,
beautiful places.

Welcome to South Carolina.

- For more Southern Charm,
go to bravotv.com.