All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S02E11.Dysfunction.Junction.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

(Cameran)
Previously on this season
of Southern Charm.

(Thomas)
Want to say hello to everybody

and introduce you
to Kensington Calhoun right now.

(Cameran)
Some of us had to grow up,

while others were still acting
like they didn't have a care

in the world.

Whitney,
I'm fáááing pissed.

Look, how can we
fáááing help you, now?

Well, it's not
by telling my parents,

'cause now
they're worried sick.

(Cameran)
And after Thomas announced he
was going to run for office...

(male narrator)
Thomas Ravenel's been known
to raise the roof,

but he won't raise your taxes.

(Cameran)
Kathryn tried to be
the good wife.

For a little while, anyway.

I'm at home
taking care of your child,

and you're filming
a commercial dancing with girls?

(Cameran)
Meanwhile, as Landon

tried to get on
with her post-divorce life...

So it's gonna
be a temporary shop?

Yeah. I'm just sort of
bleeding money at the moment.

I need to start
making some.

(Cameran)
She invited us down to Georgia
for a relaxing getaway,

but everyone arrived
with a little too much baggage.

You are an opportunist.

You nasty motherfáááer.

(Cameran)
And as friendships
were tested...

It's never your fault, ever.
Everyone else's fault.

You took off in front of me,
and then--

You are an idiot.

(Cameran)
Craig and Kathryn
grew closer together.

You know, Craig and Kathryn
spent the night on the beach.

Did they hook up?

(Cameran)
But all that seemed
like small potatoes...

Oh, my God.

(Cameran)
When news of Thomas' assault
charges hit the presses...

Oh, my God.

Slammed door on her arm.

(Cameran)
Which was the final nail
in Thomas' political career.

Not to mention his relationship
with Kathryn.

Thomas Ravenel, on Facebook.

Relationship
with Kathryn is over.

(Cameran)
This is not over.

They will be back together,
in probably 2.5 days.

Dysfunction junction.
[chuckles]

[Mia Sable's It's Easy]

♪♪ Mm-hmm,
he's got money ♪♪

♪♪ He's in magazines ♪♪

♪♪ He's got more honeys ♪♪

♪♪ Than any honeybee ♪♪

♪♪ Ba-ba doo ♪♪

♪♪ Ba-ba dee-ee-ee ♪♪

♪♪ It's easy ♪♪

♪ As the birds and the bees
and the one, two, threes ♪

♪♪ Mm-hmm ♪♪

[alarm buzzing]

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

[yawning]

[phone ringing]

(woman's voice)
Your call has been forwarded

to an automatic
voice message system.

Hey, drunkie.

It's your little brother, here.

Give me a call back
when you get this,

so I can make fun of you for
actually being the party girl,

last night,
instead of myself.

Why couldn't Thomas just
have won the fáááing election?

[laughing]

(Shep)
Look at this new move.
Are you okay?

I am drunk!

Hey!

[grunting]

Ouch!

Cameran always gets to give
me sháá the next morning,

for drinking too much,

and I'm kind of giving her
a dose of her own medicine.

Finally, Craig's
getting his sháá together,

and now Cam's a drunk.

What's up, dude?

I'm, like,
calling all my little children,

to make sure the family
survived last night,

'cause usually it's me
that everyone's looking for.

I mean, your speech
was pretty hilarious.

I'll tell you what.

Shep.
That's me.

[laughing]

I'm running for senate,
next time.

My message
is a thing of beauty.

Everybody is a total
catastrophe,

except for me and my message.

[laughter]

That was pretty genius.

Oh, Kathryn
snapped into ghetto mode.

It's a little bit
conceited to think every time

it's about you.

This is our party,
so fááá off.

Got it?

Classy.

I was rooting for Kathryn
and then tried to help her,

and now she shows up acting
like a crazy person.

Maybe I should figure out
how to fix myself,

before I try to help
these people anymore,

'cause they clearly, like--
it doesn't matter what you do.

We were so close
to a Jerry Springer episode.

All right. See you, buddy.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

Higher, higher, higher.

Right about there.

Makes such a big difference.

So that's three, five,
seven, ten.

(Patricia)
I think I ordered ten.

My personal style,
as far as decor,

I do like antiques.

I like paintings.

I like discreet collections
of things.

You know, there are a lot
of blue and white things

in Mrs. Mellon's sale
that's coming up at Sotheby's.

If you have time, can we
look at the catalogs?

Sure.

Mario Buatta is arguably
America's top interior designer.

When I married my husband
and moved into his apartment,

three previous wives
had decorated it,

and I thought, "Hmm.

This apartment needs
Mario Buatta's touch."

Since then,

we've had four homes
in Architectural Digest.

I hate to ask,
but is the birdcage

in the middle
where it should be?

(Mario)
I don't know. Is it?

Hi.

- Hey, darling.
- How you doing?

(Mario)
Hey, Whitney. How you doing?

- Mr. Buatta.
- How are you?

It's a zipper.

Ballroom?

Knowing Whitney,
those pants aren't cheap.

So what happened after I left
the election party, last night?

- He lost.
- Yeah.

It was pretty much
a landslide loss.

Projected winner Lindsey Graham.
No!

Lindsey Graham got 50%,

the other guy got 46,
and Thomas got 3%.

I think that he would have
had higher numbers,

except he was sabotaged.

- By what?
- Kathryn, the girlfriend

and her hairdresser
were gonna sue him,

and I don't know whether she
was complicit or not,

but apparently she's back
doing her hair.

So something's fishy,
for sure.

- So what else happened?
- Didn't miss much.

Kind of the same thing.

Kathryn had
three or four breakdowns.

Breakdowns?

She's a feral, wild girl

who just kind of flips
at the slightest provocation.

We call them
psychotic episodes, PE.

Yeah, exactly.
It's crazy.

[bass music]

♪♪ ♪♪

(Thomas)
J.D.?

(J.D.)
Come in! Let's grab a drink
and sit outside.

(Thomas)
All right.

(J.D.)
Do you want a cigar, Thomas?

(Thomas)
No. I don't want tobaccy.

Very peaceful out here.

Look at that moon.
Is that a full moon, J.D.?

(J.D.)
Damn near.

Might be just shy
a nipple hair.

- Very nice.
- Why does bourbon

taste so much better outdoors?

'Cause it warms you.

[chuckles]

But I mean
seriously though, man.

Are you doing all right?

Well, you know, it's hard
to talk about it, you know,

but I mean I lost by a point,
last time.

Now, I lose by,
I don't know, 50 points.

Right.

It just seems so crazy.

Well...

How do I say it nicely?

Just say it.

The guy that I've seen,
during this campaign...

Mm-hmm.

Is not the guy that I know.

Mm-hmm.

But the question is,
is it the campaign?

Is it the kid?

Is it what's going on
with Kathryn?

But whatever it is,

what people have seen,
over the last two months...

Mm-hmm.

Doesn't make people
want to go vote for you.

(J.D.)
The Thomas
that I've known for years

is someone that cares
for other people.

The person that he's been,
since this campaign,

is someone that's borderline
unrecognizable,

'cause he's just so
tunnel vision on his own journey

and what he's got to do.

And so it hurts the feelings
of everybody around him.

I mean,
I'm in a situation here.

What do I do?

If I were in your shoes,

I would desperately
take a break...

Mm-hmm.

And then you can
compartmentalize.

What's the first step
I need to do,

to get my life on the track
that I want it to be on?

Well, you know,
at the happiest point I was--

I remember last year,
right before I met Kathryn.

I wasn't dating anybody,

but there was hope
for the future.

I was just happy.

Well, you know what you were
coming off of, right?

What?

You were just getting
out of prison.

- [laughing]
- Yeah.

The thing is I just
want to get the chaos out.

There's a lot
of chaos in my life.

Well, what's the first step to
getting chaos out of your life?

I need to have
a talk with Kathryn.

I love her to death.

I wish that I could have
ended it better.

You know, I hit my limit,

and I did some stupid things.

And now you've got
a kid to think about.

Well, that's my focus
right now.

What's best for Kensie?

I hope that I made the right
decision not to be with Kathryn.

If I'm being driven insane, now
how is that helping my daughter?

That's not any good,
at all.

If it's not bringing out
the best in you,

you've got to
remove yourself.

(Thomas)
There's a lot of things
I miss about Kathryn.

You know,
about the physicality.

Her red hair.

I mean, there's this line
from the silly movie,

Steel Magnolias.

Julia Roberts says, "You know,

"I'd rather have 30 minutes
of something wonderful

than a lifetime
of something not very special."

Well, Liz and I

are here for you,
and we're here for Kathryn,

and we're here for Kensie.

We're not going anywhere.

Grab a refill?

Sure.

[chuckles]

Get a little reload.

When in doubt,
get the bourbon out.

That's pretty good.

- You'll be all right, brother.
- Thanks.

(Cameran)
Coming up...

So you guys are gonna
give me lectures again?

I just graduated
fáááing law school.

I don't think
I need any more lectures.

Don't fááing be
a dick to me,

you motherfáááer.

Shut the fááá up.
Shut up.

All right. I'm done.

[upbeat music]

That's not gonna work there.

Hmm.
Hmm-hmm-hmm.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

Hello?

- Hi.
- Hey, Landon.

You ready to get to work?

Totally going
to give me too much work.

It's not that much. It's
just one truckload of stuff.

Okay.
This is nice, huh?

It feels amazing
to finally have a space.

(Landon)
This is perfect.

This is gorgeous. How long
has it been on the market?

- For a month.
- These properties

go quickly, so...

I could easily just throw art
up on hooks that already exist.

We could have little parties
in the rose garden.

This is, so far, the only thing
that I have loved.

- Really?
- Yeah.

It's kind of heavy.
Hold on.

I'll help you.

(Landon)
It's really been so nice
to do this in Charleston,

because so many people
help me.

We definitely have to get this.

Oh, my God.

Just a little air
and we're good.

No, I think
it's more than that.

Let's put it back
where we found it.

No, I think I'm gonna get it.

No.
For the shop?

Yeah.

(Landon) It's really felt
just like this great community.

Put this here.

Now, I've just got
to get everything in its place

and pop up.

(Shep)
I like that.

(Landon)
That would look cool
in your house.

Okay.
How much?

I'll give it to you
for what we paid for it.

No, I want you
to make some cash.

Where are you going
to be going back--

Do you want
a glass of wine?

Sure.
That's great.

What a cool invention.

Cheers.
To the Trading Post.

Can you believe Kathryn
last night?

I'm still, like, pretty upset
about the way she spoke to me.

Until you have an opinion
that has, like,

substance, don't have one.

Thank you. Bye.

No one, in my life,
has ever treated me like that.

I mean, I've never gotten
in a fight, in my life.

I think she likes the crazy,

- and I don't.
- Yeah.

You're going to kick me out of
a party that isn't even yours?

This is our party,
so fááá off.

Got it?

You're a joke.

All right, so what more do
you need to have, to get done?

I've got to get everything,
like, priced and tagged.

I've got to get
my little cash register going.

Actually, my mom and dad are
coming into town, to help me.

- I really need some help.
- Yeah, yeah.

Just mom is so good with,
like, fluffing everything.

- Yeah.
- So she's gonna come help me.

My mom did interior design
for forever, as well,

so I really get it from her.

But I still haven't seen my mom,
since I've been back,

because of our sort
of strained relationship.

(Landon)
I mean, it's been hard,

you know, even with,
like, talking to Mom.

- Yeah.
- It makes me, like,

feel like a school girl.

Like, I get, like, nervous and,
like, sick to my stomach.

I'm not looking forward
to that conversation.

This is exciting,
little Landon.

I'm so excited.
It's, like,

finally like my little dreams
are coming together.

(Shep)
Well, yeah.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

Thank you so much
for having us.

Yeah.
No, it's nice.

You know,
I read the paper this morning,

and you guys weren't in it.

We had a hell of a week.

We had a nice dinner
with Hillary.

Hillary Clinton?

Yeah, it was
a fundraiser for--

I'm afraid to say it
in Charleston, but,

you know,
for the Democrats.

There are a few here.
[laughter]

Billy and Brian are movers
and shakers in New York.

They are everywhere.

They are at every event.

They're both
extraordinary fundraisers.

- Thank you, Michael.
- Thank you. Cheers.

- Cheers, cheers, cheers.
- Cheers, Pat.

Here's to seeing you

and planning this amazing
Wounded Warriors project event

- that you decided that--
- Oh, yeah.

I need you guys.

- I need you guys.
- Love you, hon.

Love you, too.

Just love your idea
about finding a way

to do something special
for our wounded warriors.

In honor of folks
like your husband.

- Proud Marine.
- He was a Marine.

And your, you know,
paternal side of your family.

Personally, I come from
a long line of military men.

I could trace back all the way
to the Revolutionary War.

- Who love this country.
- Yeah, absolutely.

I have great admiration for all
of those who have served,

men and women,

and I think that we should do
more for our returning veterans.

Well, you know,
I called about the Yorktown.

We could have cocktails
on the flight deck,

and then Whitney said
he wanted his band to play.

- Oh, that's a great idea.
- Oh,

and we have a couple
of really cute guys,

and we could easily
auction them off.

I love it.
I love it.

Let's do it.
It's going to be great.

I will do my best
to try to make it as successful

- as possible.
- I love you. You're amazing.

I want to give you a kiss,
because you're the best.

Oh, come give me
a big old kiss.

I love you, Pat.

Love you, too.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

Hi, Kathryn.

How are you?

Good.
Oh, she's so cute.

She just fell asleep.

Okay, so we'll cook
while she's sleeping.

Here, let's put
Kensington--no, no, no.

Right up here.
Why are you putting that there?

Just to block the light,
a little bit.

The light
is not gonna bother her.

This is your first child?

Well, yes.

She's gonna watch us
cooking.

Thomas made it very clear
the things

that he wanted in a partner,

and part of that was, you know,
learning how to be a homemaker.

So I'm gonna
give you a book,

The Charleston Academy
of Domestic Pursuits.

Hooray.
I've been wanting to--

I know. I can't believe
we didn't give you one, before.

So look on page 34.

I have literally
invested every day,

for the last year-and-a-half,

to learn how to be the perfect
little political wife.

So what is it
that you want to learn?

I mean, I guess really
with the senate race,

I really want to learn
a lot about,

you know,
being a hostess.

Be careful
with your fingers.

Yep, so you just
want to take this backbone out,

and we're gonna throw it away.

Oh, my gosh.

(Kathryn)
I've worked way too hard
to walk away.

You know,
I don't give up things easily,

unless I truly feel like
they're meant to be given up

or they should be given up.

Roasted winter vegetables.
Okay.

This is, like, the healthiest
dinner that you could have.

- Nice.
- All right, so I'm gonna--this.

Do you know what this is?
Not many people do.

You hold it.

It kind of looks
like a carrot.

It's--exactly.
It looks like a carrot,

- but it's a parsnip.
- All right.

I don't know how you peel this.

Okay,
just what you're doing.

Take off the top,
like a carrot.

There. We got the two
little things off.

- Cooking makes you focus.
- Mm-hmm.

You can start relaxing,

and you can start thinking
about other stuff going on.

That's what I'm doing
right now.

I'm thinking.
I'm reflecting.

You can start
thinking about

"How do I want
to raise my children?

"What I want my relationship
to look like?

What do I want
to do with my life?"

My relationship
looks like this right now.

You know,
just very confused.

Your relationship
looks confused?

Our relationship
is confused.

Very much so, yes.

I mean, he just dumped me
on Facebook,

so I've kind of moved out

and gone home for
a little while with Kensie.

You mean home
with your mother or--

Mm-hmm, with my mom
and my dad.

I just came
from Moncks Corner.

I'm not living
downtown anymore.

(Kathryn)
When Thomas and I
have broken up, in the past,

we get back together
almost immediately,

or within
a few hours or days.

And this time, he's maybe
taking it more seriously.

I'm here for you.

I'm here to support you.

[indistinct]

Thank you.

I appreciate
your support.

Overall, I just feel, like,
a sense of betrayal.

(Kathryn)
I went to Thomas' election
night party

to show him that you can
break up with me.

You can treat me however
you'd like,

but I will still
be here for you,

and I will still
be here supporting you.

The adult life
is very complicated,

and things
aren't always happy.

But I can't accept
the breakup.

There's a lot of things
that you can't control,

but you're a mother,

and you've got to take care
of this baby.

Do you think you can be
a good single mom?

He promised me that I'd never
have anything to worry about.

He promised me that he'd provide
a place for me to live.

He promised me
he'd provide a car.

Promised me
all of these things,

including an honest chance
at a relationship.

So all these vegetables,
we would

- toss 'em with olive oil.
- Okay.

We'd put 'em
in a baking sheet, see?

Which I already did.

Gotcha.
Okay.

(Kathryn)
He's broken so many promises.

I don't think he's going to keep
a single one he's ever made.

Should we go sit?
Do you want to go sit in there?

Sure.

And I'm gonna hold him
accountable

to those promises.

- Are you working?
- No.

So you need to get a job
and support yourself.

Yeah. I'm looking into things
right now, actually.

(Kathryn)
You may have thought
every woman in your life

has been easy to get rid of,

but I am not those women.

You're gonna survive.

And I am not going anywhere
without a fight.

I've kind of
made up my mind,

and I know
what I need to do.

(Cameran)
Coming up...

For my own self,

I need to know that you,
like, respect my decision.

You just know how hard
the whole thing was on me.

How hard it was on you?

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

[doorbell rings]

- Hi!
- You always bring me flowers.

- How are you?
- Every time you come over.

These are gorgeous.

Oh, my God.
Thank you, Lou.

- Open your old Cam gift.
- And they're so full.

That's for roommate Cam.

The only girl I know that would
survive on gas station food.

No, I'm all about some gas
station food.

Leva was my first roommate
when I moved back to Charleston,

after a really bad breakup.

This, like,
totally makes my entire day.

Leva used to always
make fun of me,

because she's very healthy.

I'll add it
to my white bread collection.

(Cameran)
And in my side of the pantry
it was, like,

white bread, donuts,
and Vienna sausages.

They were so good.
The juice.

Okay, wait, so Jason
is allowing you to do this?

He has not totally
given me the okay,

but he's getting there.

Okay, I have to show you
a picture of this dog.

Shep, this is the dog
I want right here.

- Really?
- Yes.

She's really learned
to do her center of gravity

quite well.

I'm still in shock that Jason
is gonna let you do this. Like--

Well, he is not, like--

he would rather
have a baby.

I do think Jason's
little daddy clock is ticking,

and I do know
that you're buying time.

You hear all this negative
stuff about motherhood

and how it changes your life.

It changes your marriage.

It changes your body.

But I'm not ready to get fat.

Leva, look at these hips.

That I don't know.
That I can't help you with.

- Where is it gonna come?
- I don't know.

- Are these things gonna spread?
- They're gonna spread.

They're gonna have to spread.
I mean, I don't know.

I don't know
how science works,

but you're gonna
have to spread a little.

I'll never forget one
of Jason's friends that's a OB.

She saw me. She's like, "Oh,
you're a casebook C-section."

I'm like, "Oh, my God!"

That's good though.

I just--I am not one

of these women who thinks
pregnancy is beautiful.

I think it's really
screwed up.

I think it's disgusting,
and I think I will be one

of these women that absolutely
hates being pregnant.

I will complain 24/7.

I will feel like I have
an alien inside me.

I don't know.
I'm just not there.

I'm just not there yet.

It'll never be the same
after kids, Leva.

I mean,
who cares about all that?

Jason doesn't care.

I think I'm just
too selfish.

I cannot imagine

sitting at home all day
with a baby.

Like, that is, honestly,
kind of my version of hell.

(Cameran)
Seeing Kathryn and her situation

definitely reaffirms
my belief

that you should only
bring a child into this world

when you are
damn ready for it.

I feel like it's more of, like,
an internal thing.

Like, I just--I don't--

I want to have a child
when I yearn--

- Like, urge right now.
- Yes.

When do you think
you'll have--like, I'm ready.

- I know you're ready.
- I don't know,

but I'm older than you.

When did it click for--
like,

when did that click for you?
That feeling?

It's not like I woke up
with this, like,

miraculous, like,
overcoming feeling.

I don't think
you're ever ready.

It was like, "If I'm gonna
do it, I need to do it."

I need to do it, yeah.

There comes a point
where you're like, "Okay,

"I need to get on
this bandwagon,

"and I need to wrap my brain
around it,

"and I need to accept,
like,

that it might be
a little bit stressful."

[exhales deeply]

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

(Landon)
Hey, Mom.

Have you made it
to town, yet?

Why don't you
just come here,

and then
I can show you everything?

Sounds good.

Bye.

Charlie,
you're not very much help.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- Landon?
- Hi, Mom.

- Hi, honey.
- Come on inside.

Wow.
This is absolutely beautiful.

- Isn't it amazing?
- Yes.

(Landon)
Well, this is the
formal rose garden.

Well, you've got
a gorgeous day.

What is the weather supposed
to be like this weekend,

for the opening?

You know,
I haven't even looked.

Well, that's not
being proactive.

Well, I mean,
I've got other--

I won't be able to do anything
about the weather.

My mom and I have always
sort of had this,

like,
push and pull relationship.

She's always
pushing me kind of to do this,

and I was always sort
of pushing back like,

"But I don't want
to do it that way.

I want to do it my way."

You've got the run
of this whole house?

- Yeah.
- Wow.

(Landon) The house
is actually for sale.

It's on the market right now,

so everything is also for sale,

- including the house.
- Wow.

(Landon)
I think my mom is who she is,

and I'm who I am.

I mean, to be honest we're not,
like,

buddy-buddy
mom and daughter.

It's just--you know,
it's sort of--I don't know.

A civilized relationship.

Look, this is a picture
of the house, originally,

but they changed the gate.

During the Civil War, everyone
gave up their gate, 'cause

they would melt them down
for bullets, or cannons,

or whatever,
so if you kept your gate,

that was really shameful.

Like, you weren't supporting--

You weren't supporting
the Confederacy.

Yeah.
And then this is one

of the only freestanding
staircases in the country.

There's two more
in Charleston.

- Beautiful, beautiful.
- Yeah.

(Landon)
The divorce

definitely put a strain
on my relationship with my mom,

because, you know, the advice
that she was giving me

was the exact opposite
of what I needed or wanted.

It's really awesome

- with the wood and all.
- Yeah.

This space I'm just gonna sort
of leave like a gallery,

and then I love
these two pieces.

They're really lovely
and modern.

Is that someone local,
too, here in Charleston?

Yeah.
And then the veranda.

In the South,
you must have a veranda.

Absolutely.

I have wine and cheese
for us.

It's 5:00 somewhere,
as they say.

- Well, cheers.
- Here's

- to a successful popup shop.
- Thanks, Mom.

You know, you're starting
with the right base though.

There's so much to do,
and I want it to be,

like, filled and perfect.

Yeah, we've got this,
and then

we've got Wounded Warriors
tomorrow.

I'm so glad
you could make it for that.

(Cindy)
With all this going on
for you, sweetheart?

That's what brought me here.
Your little shop.

Wounded Warriors.
I love the word "popup,"

but it's also
like those little books you do.

It's here.
It's gone.

It's over there, now.

What's your commitment
to doing something like this?

That's why I wanted
to just do a popup.

It's sort of like a test.

Yeah, but see,
that's what scares me.

I mean, we're not talking a
popup shop and four or five days

later you've killed
yourself for two weeks.

"Okay, now I'm ready
to take another vacation, Mom."

I mean, I have been
thinking in more long-term--

Committed. I want to hear
the word "commit."

Are you there?

No, that's not--I just
wanted to kind of test it out

and see how I do
financially with this,

and I want to commit to that,

because if I don't,

I'm just gonna keep, like,

wandering around forever,

which gets lonely.

I mean, I thought,
being married, that I would,

like, have somebody to,
like, wander around with.

And I mean that just
wasn't the case.

I know.

You just know how hard the whole
thing was on me. I just--

- How hard it was on you?
- I know.

I just--
you know, my generation,

we came from a different place
where you just--you just kind

of powered yourself through some
of those rough times.

I just kept thinking
within time

you would find your way
back to each other.

It was so awful, mom.

You have no idea.

This wasn't just, like,
a rash decision.

- Yeah.
- It took me two years

before I even had the guts
to say, "I'm unhappy."

To say, "I'm unhappy."

Yeah.

(Landon)
You know, I think my mom
failed me a little bit,

because, you know, I was
very ill-prepared for real life.

I grew up not thinking
that life was hard

and that it was just always
gonna be like an afternoon

at the beach club,
and it's just--it's not.

I need to know that you,
like, respect my decision.

Hey. Hey, listen to me.
You are my first child--

Like, I was so scared
for you to even come into town,

'cause I just don't, like--

I'm not--
I'm just still too delicate.

Like, I don't need
to be judged about this.

A long time ago I
stopped judging about this.

Yeah, but you're still
sitting here,

saying, "Well, women
should just, like, suck it up."

No, I don't mean it that--
no, if--

I mean, no.

No, Mom.

I got it.
I got it.

I love you, and I want
what you want in life, okay?

You know, my mom and I

come from sort
of two different Souths.

I mean,
she's very old-school,

and I'm sort of a newer,
progressive version

of this ideal Southern woman,

and we disagree a lot.

But I think that that's sort
of always the case

with mothers and daughters.

This is your life, now.

- So, go forth, and--
- Shut the fááá up.

- You were about to say that.
- I was not.

Those words
were not on my lips.

- Yes, they were.
- No, they weren't.

You know I love you,
sweetie.

I just--

I just love you so much.

(Cameran)
Coming up...

Feast your eyes, boys.

You look like George Bush.

You look like
a goddamn lollipop.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- Hey, dude.
- Hey, man.

- How are you? Good to see you.
- Very well.

- Hey, Lawson, how you doing?
- Good, man.

We're gonna rock
a little ship tonight.

Good.

We'll do a sound check first,
if that's cool.

Mom thought
it was a great idea

for me to get together
some rock star friends of mine.

[strumming guitar]

(Lawson)
Boys, I got ten minutes
for you on the stage.

(Whitney)
So what are the other acts
that are performing?

(Lawson)
Kelsea Ballerini is
a up-and-coming country artist,

and then we're having
an auction,

and Craig and Shep
are auctioning themselves,

- for dates.
- What?

Yeah, I don't know
why anyone

would go out with either
one of these morons,

but it should be interesting.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

So tonight I'm not sure
if you're gonna

meet many chicks,
or if we are.

I'm gonna get
purchased by one.

How much do you think
you'll go for?

Anything over $1,000
and they need a--

$1,000?

Yeah. It is for charity,
so I don't know.

People might get
a little frisky.

I want to see
how much I'm worth.

$500?
$500?

Is that fair?

Never monetized myself before.

- How was it?
- Feels awesome, dude.

I think I'm just
gonna bankroll Danni,

and make sure she wins,
and just--

You can't afford
to bankroll Danni.

- Yeah, I can.
- Quit bankrolling people.

All right. I'm gonna
go get changed, I guess.

Shep self admittedly doesn't
have a routine to get ready,

so maybe he's taking
a little more serious tonight,

now that there's an auction.

Feast your eyes, boys.

(James)
That's awesome.

I am a dangerous man.

You look like George Bush.

You look like
a goddamn lollipop.

What are you talking about?

(Craig)
Shep secretly wants
to be a pretty boy,

but doesn't have the confidence
to actually be a pretty boy.

[laughter]

Oh, there it is.

Spray it down, man.
You do that every day.

No, just for auction.
Every night--

- "Just for auction."
- Just for tonight.

So, you know, it's just--oh!

"This is my auction hair."
I love it.

(James)
Oh, my goodness.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

Good to see you.

What do you want, man?

[upbeat music]

(Landon)
It's so beautiful.

Hi!

(Cameron)
Oh, my God. Look at your--
where did you get those?

- Prada.
- Are they, like, rocket ships?

Man,
this is super awesome.

[upbeat music]

(Craig)
Look at this fáááing vessel.

- This is K. Cooper Ray.
- Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.
Love the tie. Love the tie.

Boop, boop.

Oh, really?

The shop's gonna be so awesome,
isn't it?

It's getting there.
I've been fluffing it all day.

Fluff, fluff, fluffing.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

JD, really?

Look at JD's coat.

Big pimpin'.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- Here's to it.
- Man.

Hello, everybody.
What up?

Well, Thomas is here.

I thought she seemed really
sad on election night.

(Cameran)
I have sympathy for Kathryn,

but she should probably
not come to this event.

She was like,
"I'm just trying to survive."

(Cameran)
I think that Kathryn

desperately needs
to totally relax,

decompress,
and get away.

[upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

(Cameran)
Patricia, you look beautiful.

Hi, honey.

(Cameran)
You're gonna be
so excited to see

how many people are in there.

- Are there tons?
- Yes.

I think it's a great thing

for young people
to be philanthropic,

and this particular group

can really help us raise a lot
of money for Wounded Warriors.

(man)
We've got some
live music for you guys.

Let's have a nice round
of applause for my good buddy.

Give it up for
Kelsea Ballerini.

Yes!

♪♪ I'm just ticking like
a time bomb ♪♪

♪♪ Waiting till it
goes off ♪♪

Hold on. I want to fall in
love with this country singer.

♪♪ Got a lock there
on that door ♪♪

♪♪ Hey, I know better than when
you and her are together ♪♪

♪♪ I shouldn't want you
like I want you ♪♪

♪♪ But I want you
like I never would anything ♪♪

[applause]

[upbeat music]

(man)
All right, guys.

- I haven't seen him.
- Where's Craig? Where's Craig?

I haven't seen him.

- Come on up, Craig.
- Yeah!

We're gonna start the bidding
for a date with Craig.

Sounds like
a hell of a night.

(man)
$500.

We got $500 right here.

Anybody bid 1,000 bucks
on this one?

$1,000! $1,000!

You have $1,250?

Want to do $1,500?
Come on.

$1,500. $1,500.

Wow.

1,500 once.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Kelsea Ballerini.

[crowd screaming]

I did not expect
Kelsea Ballerini to bid on me.

(man)
$1,750? Wow.

(Craig)
I was worried
about the auctioning,

'cause I was like,
"Oh, shoot.

"I hope it's not, like,
some weirdo,

like, creepy person."

(man)
$5,000?

Wow.

Anybody at $5,001?

$5,001,
Kelsea Ballerini.

(Craig)
At this moment, I'm dying.

Like, I am so happy,
on the inside.

Like, I'm giddy as hell.

- Five grand!
- Five big ones.

He went first.
That's not fair.

It's not fair,
and she's a singer. Ugh.

She will be so underwhelmed
by that date.

Wait until that girl
gets a load of Craig.

I mean, she would be like,
"Check, please. Check."

I mean, she's gonna be like,

- "I want my money back!"
- Shep!

(Shep)
If it was me,

be saying, "Check, please.

"Let's go back to your house.

Get that creme brulee
to go."

(man)
All right, guys.
Where is Shep?

You'll go pretty high.
You'll go pretty high.

Very doubtful.

This is one of the big ones.
Shep, come on up.

(man)
Oh, Shep!

Date with Shep.
"Guaranteed to be crazy fun."

It says it right here.

[laughter]

Just remember how much
I got auctioned off for.

- What was it? What was it?
- You'll remember!

$5,001?
I think $5,000.

Craig can't even afford
his own date!

(man)
Ladies, pull out your wallets.

Let's start the bidding
at $1,750.

Anybody at $1,750?

- Who's going first?
- Anybody at $1,750?

Come on, he's Shep.
It's Shep!

Here.
Do you have $1,750?

- Come on!
- Got $1,750 here.

Anybody at 2 grand,
at least?

- Come on. 2 grand for Shep?
- Come on!

- $2,000.
- Come on, Shep!

God, I'm, like,
looking around,

waiting for someone
to raise their hand.

No one's raising their hands.

(man)
$1,750. We have it here once.

We have it here twice.

I have an understanding husband,
thank goodness.

(man)
Sold right here for 1,750 bucks.

- Yay!
[cheering]

(man)
Wow.

- You again?
- Sorry, Shep.

- She's married!
- It's kind of like she

went over to the tanker
when she couldn't find Craig.

[laughter]

You're like the outlet mall.

- You beat Shep. Yeah!
- I always beat Shep.

What the fááá
is going on in this world?

He's so dumb.
Who would go out with him?

This is just sweet,
sweet payback

for how douchey he's been
lately.

When it comes down
to how girls feel about us,

which is the only thing
we really care about,

it's pretty clear
who they like more.

That's such bullsháá.

Yeah, I got outbid.
It hurts.

And Craig's just walking around
like Mr. Hot Stuff.

What's his problem?

(Cameran)
Coming up...

Honestly, I'm ready
to have some stability.

It's either all in
or all out.

Thomas, let's get up here

and your fáááing bridge,
in the back.

Everybody get
on their tippy toes.

- Whitney, you're on my hair.
- Mother--

(Patricia)
Where is the champagne?

[laughter]
- Yeah, I know.

(Patricia)
Not a minute too soon.

Here we go. Hear, hear.
Ding, ding, ding!

To you all who give us
our freedom,

we are grateful forever,
and we love you.

We respect you,

and we will never forget
your sacrifice.

- God bless you.
- Hear, hear.

- God bless you.
- God bless America.

- Harrumph!
- Hear, hear.

[upbeat music]

Patricia, this is my mom,
Cindy.

- Hi!
- It's nice to meet you.

So nice to meet you.

♪♪ ♪♪

Craig is so dumb!

♪♪ ♪♪

[dramatic music]

♪♪ ♪♪

Tonight, I'm just walking
in there with confidence

in what I'm wearing,
what I'm doing.

(man)
Give it up for T-Rav.

I voted for you, T-Rav.
I voted for you.

I'm on a mission
to show Thomas

just how big
of a mistake he made.

(man)
T-Rav. Give it up.

Let's have a big hand
for the Southern Lords,

led by Whitney Sudler-Smith!

[cheers and applause]
- This guy is awesome.

(man)
Whitney!

They're gonna be good.

Take it away.

♪♪ ♪♪

When I see Kathryn,
my jaw drops.

The chemistry
is overtaking my willpower.

♪♪ ♪♪

Hey, how are you guys?

Thomas?
Photo op.

[amplifier feedback]

[band plays rock music]

[singing indistinctly]

♪♪ ♪♪

Yeah, yeah.
Let's do a photo op, yeah.

♪♪ ♪♪

(Patricia)
Did you see Kathryn come in
pouting in a full-length mink?

I'm not talking to her
until she apologizes to me.

I would never,
under any circumstance,

show up anyplace uninvited.

It's really quite childish
when you think about it.

There we go.

♪♪ ♪♪

(Kathryn)
What's up? How are you guys?

Jesus Christ!
You look great.

- Thanks. How are you?
- Good.

Kathryn and I, you know,
we'll look at each other,

and it's just like,
"What could have been?"

You could pay
for a whole third-world country

with your outfit right now.

I mean,
she kind of messed it up.

I think we could have been
something special, but...

I got to go put my coat up
though.

I'll be right back.

- What's up? How are you guys?
- Good to see you. Looking good.

- Look at you.
- How fun is that?

(Kathryn)
Thanks.

Thomas,
I love your politics.

Did Thomas speak or no?

No, he just introduced
Whitney's band.

Did he introduce them
as Boner or Renob?

No, Southern...something.

- Southern assáááás?
- No!

Hey!

- Hi, Thomas.
- Hey, Thomas.

How are you?

- How are you guys?
- Good, how are you?

- You look great.
- Thank you.

[chuckles]

She makes me weak.
What can I say?

She's beautiful,
she knows how to dress,

and, um...

tough woman to resist.

What can I say?

♪♪ ♪♪

I love it.

♪♪ ♪♪

- Thank you.
- You look awesome.

♪♪ ♪♪

I definitely wanted a reaction
from him

with what I was wearing,
and I definitely got one.

♪♪ ♪♪

(man)
Yeah!

My concern
for Thomas and Kathryn

is that if they stay together,

Thomas is either gonna
wind up in jail or dead.

[dramatic music]

♪♪ ♪♪

(Cameran)
Where is Craig?

Craig thinks he's so cool
right now. I want to kill him.

He has this attitude
he's, like, invincible.

This is just honestly gonna
further engorge Craig's head,

the fact that he got
bid on for $5,000.

[head thumps]
- God damn it.

That stupid fáááing door.

- God, that hurt.
- Craig, are you drunk?

No, I heard my date was coming
out here to take pictures.

(Shep)
Listen, you don't have a date.

- Whatever.
- Shut up.

- It was bullsháá.
- Why are you upset?

I know how it happened,
'cause you went first.

At least the money's going
to the charity.

- Why the fááá do I care?
- Oh, right.

Yeah, your head
wasn't big about it.

Come on.

Because you feel pissy about
yourself 'cause some girl,

like, wanted to go out with me
instead of you,

you're gonna bring me down?

I can't even be happy?

Like, you're only happy
when I'm in the hole?

Like,
what does that say about you?

Craig--

What am I out here for
right now?

Just relax, man.

So you guys can give me
lectures again?

I just graduated fáááing
law school.

I don't think
I need any more lectures.

Don't fáááing be a dick
to me, you motherfáááer.

- I'm not being--
- Shut the fááá up, shut up.

My life's pretty
fáááing sweet right now.

I'm sick of acting
like it sucks.

What do you have?
A girl that fake bought you?

All right.
I'm done.

- Craig, stop.
- Piss off.

- My life's fáááing awesome.
- Craig?

(Cameran)
Watching my friends fight
is hard for me.

I know Shep genuinely cares
about Craig,

but I do think he's definitely
taking this a bit too far.

♪♪ ♪♪

Are you gonna stay
with this girl?

Do you see yourself staying
with this girl?

I think we just got
to work something out.

After she had her stylist
charge you with assault?

I don't want to believe
certain things that...

that I would find distasteful
in her.

She thinks I hate her.

I don't.
I just hate how she treats you.

She attacked me that night
on Jekyll Island,

but that's the way she attacks
you every fáááing night.

You have caused so much stress
in our relationship.

You've caused stress in
your relationship with Thomas.

You don't know sháá!

Dude, you're fáááing scum!

She keeps accusing me of trying
to break up your family.

I'm not, you know?
I just want what's best

for you, man, and I don't know
how you live with that.

Well, I don't know
if it's that bad.

I just hear reports
that night on Jekyll Island.

She was out with Craig
until wee hours.

They slept on the beach
together.

Well...

Are you not concerned
about that?

No, I don't have
a concern there.

Craig can have any girl.

I mean, why would he go
after my girl?

So I don't believe
that it happened.

Set her up.
Sort it out.

Make sure
that she's well provided for,

and that's it, move on.

- I mean--
- Anyway, I just--

it's just out of concern.

Thomas is my friend, and I'm
starting to look after him.

He has a good heart.
He's just misguided.

Just do what's best for you
and the baby

and get on with your life.

(Craig)
I'm not playing this game
anymore.

I'm sorry.
I feel betrayed,

I'm hurt,
and I'm pissed off.

No, I'm not talking
to him tonight.

I'm just not talking
to him tonight.

He's fáááing indignant
right now.

- He's just--
- Shep, you're jealous.

When I was 26, dude, it was
way cooler than Craig's life.

- Here's the thing--
- My point is this is not weird.

This is the thing
that worries me about Craig.

Craig wants to be accepted
and he craves the attention.

He craves the positive
reinforcement,

and he's only gonna get that--
not through his job.

He's gonna get it
by going out to the bars

and getting attention
from girls.

- I don't know. I don't know.
- Yeah.

I just--I'm genuinely concerned
about him.

- Craig?
- Please don't pull me.

Don't fáááing pull me away
like I'm acting out of control.

- You are overacting.
- I'm not overreacting.

Anything otherwise?
Chill.

(Cameran)
I don't know
what to do to help him.

- Hey, I love him.
- Yeah, it's gonna take time.

Craig will always be my friend.

We can't change him.

I'm sort of rough on him,

but I'm not gonna give up
on Craig.

I'll always care about him
and be there for him.

I'm not gonna sit here
and wag my finger at somebody.

The point is--
yeah, but--

Nobody can tell him
what to do.

(Craig)
I'm leaving.

Don't try to calm me down.
I'm not fáááing drunk.

- Don't try and do that.
- I am not!

(Craig)
At least Cam, I thought,
would be happy for me.

I've kind of realized that
I don't have the support group

that I thought I had.

It's kind of heartbreaking.

(Cameran)
My door is always open
for Craig.

Craig is such
a wonderful person.

- Come on.
- But I think, at this point,

Craig needs to have an epiphany
of his own

and honestly just help himself.

♪♪ ♪♪

How are you?

Want to get out of here?

Go by the house?

Is that a joke?

What are we doing?
Are we together?

Are we not together?

I don't know what I want.

What do you want?

Love, acknowledgement of love
in public and in private,

loyalty, and then I want
to be treated like a lady.

Like, I'm the mother
of your child.

We have a baby
to think about.

It's not really
about us, so...

Here's what I want to do.

I say we split
child custody.

We live apart,
continue to see each other,

and try to work
on this thing.

You want to keep...
dating me?

I'm sick of this whole back
and forth, "Yes, I love you.

"No, I don't.
Yes, I'm with you.

No, I'm not."

If we want to spend
a night together, fine.

I either want a ring
on this finger,

or I'm gonna give you this one.

Honestly, I'm ready
to have some stability.

It's either all in or all out
from here on out.

- Coming up...
- Thomas, stop!

I'm not letting you leave me!

Oh, my God!
Thomas! Stop!

- Get away from me!
- Stop!

I'm ready to have
some stability, okay?

It's either all in or all out.

I need to know you're gonna
give this thing a shot.

I'm prepared to do that.

I care about you.

I love my daughter, but I want
to make sure this thing works.

Oh, I do, too.

I've been trying
to make it work.

I think I may or may not
be the only one trying.

I've been trying,

but I haven't been around
to try because I've been

killing myself trying
to win this U.S. Senate race.

And I've let you
'cause I'm trying.

You said you needed me to,
like--

- Be supportive of me.
- I was--I did that.

Not argue and fight with me
every single night.

But I did that.

Why are they talking
about us?

Who cares what they say?

But you listen
to their advice.

Sháá, that's the two people
you call every time.

I truly like Jennifer,
but I also think

that she has this relationship
with Thomas

that she hides from me.

Creepy.

I don't listen
to their advice.

All you do is listen
to Whitney and Jennifer.

Yes, you do.

(Thomas)
I would like to make this work.

I know I love her,
but at the same time,

little reminders
of her behavior crop up.

I've seen the messages.
I have screenshots.

She's let me read
all the messages.

I don't call her
for any advice.

You were behind my back
when I was pregnant.

She gets caught in a loop.

(Kathryn)
Stop listening to Whitney.

He's always been against
you and I.

Are you going to say,
"Sorry"?

I've heard 'em
a gazillion times.

Jennifer--your good friend,
your confidant--what is she?

- I've known her for a while.
- You never said that.

That's a lie.

Boy, you're talking about
eight months ago?

It doesn't matter.
You were with me,

and I didn't know
you were even friends with her.

And those are the people
you trust.

It's just weird
who you trust.

[dramatic music]

I'm like, "Thank you, you know,
for this conversation."

It's reminding me
why it can never work.

I can see this
is going nowhere.

What?

I mean,
we can't ever stop arguing.

We're not even arguing.

I'm all wrong,
and you're all right.

That's not it at all.

Well...let's just move toward
just being friends.

Thomas, come on.

Honey, not here.

- This is ridiculous.
- Hey, seriously.

(Thomas)
I just can't put up
with this sháá anymore.

Oh, God.
I can't.

I'm not letting you
do this to our family.

I'm at my breaking point,
and I am not gonna let you

walk away without you
listening to me.

Thomas, stop!

Thomas, seriously!
Thomas, stop!

I'm not letting you leave me.

Oh, my God!
Thomas! Stop!

Listen to you, screaming
and yelling like a two-year-old.

- Stop!
- Get away from me!

We're done!
I'm done.

No, stop!

♪♪ ♪♪

Hey, what's up, Mom?

I finally hit the road,

and I'll be seeing you
in about nine hours.

I'm starting to realize more
and more that I just don't know

how I'm gonna become the person
I want to be in Charleston.

Yeah, I'm excited, too.

I think, you know,
I need to come home to Delaware

and start studying for my bar

and just do what I say
I'm gonna do for once,

and stop being all talk
and actually walk the walk.

All right, love you, too.
Bye.

I'll miss my Charleston family,
but I'll be back sometime soon.

♪♪ ♪♪

(Cameran)
For more Southern Charm,
go to bravotv.com

[bell rings]